Revealing Signs of Insecure or Anxious Attachment: How CBT Can Help
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- čas přidán 2. 06. 2024
- Anxious attachment or abandonment anxiety is a common problem caused by trauma that leads to rejection sensitivity and difficulty trusting others. In this video, we'll discuss the signs of anxious attachment and how CBT can help you. CBT is a clinically effective treatment for anxious attachment, and this video will help you learn more about the therapy. Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She received her PhD in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida in 2002. In addition to being a practicing clinician, she has provided training to counselors, social workers, nurses and case managers internationally since 2006 through AllCEUs.com 💻 Online course based on this video can be found at AllCEUs.com/Attachment-CEU
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#attachment #selfhelp #insecure attachment #cognitivebehavioraltherapy #tips #counseling #counselling
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TIMESTAMPS
00:00 10 Signs of Anxious Attachment
07:55 Causes of Anxious Insecure Attachment
13:30 Overcoming Anxious Attachment
23:16 Summary
👌More videos can be found on this topic at: czcams.com/play/PLcB3trehXswjSvwE8zV5YPISXOHgkH5I5.html&si=0YM6L9M7iZoG8d9K
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The worst thing about this is that the more attached you get to someone, the more they start to push you away because of all the negative things you do like push boundaries. And the more they push you away, the more you try to get close to them and on and on forever until it finally explodes and you’re left with nothing.
Yes, you are right. You can create secure attachment, though. How are you planning to start doing that?
Wow, this is so true.
I have just done this with the love of my life 😢
@@c179s9 Same
Hugs
The stress response I get when I feel like I'm being abandoned is one of the worst feelings I've ever felt. It feels like a panic attack. Looking at it now, I realize that this is why I also have an avoidant attachment to avoid feeling abandoned.
I appreciate you watching
It’s atrocious.
Yes me too all of this
So true
Your comment wraps up what is happening to me as well. I have avoidant anxious attachment, if that is a thing. I have known that I have had this for a long time but I have not been able to apply it to my life in any practical way as I am now, and as you talk about it. It felt like a panic attack, but even counselors have not been able to point it out. It is terrible that you pay so much money but no one understands what is going on with you on this subject whether you pay them or not. Ludicrous. The counselors are more out-of-it than even all the clients put together!
Anxious attachment is pure torture. I sincerely want to work on this because it’s running my life.
Thank you for watching. What tips from the video are you planning to use first to create secure attachment?
@@DocSnipes I seriously don’t know where to start. I guess just by recognizing when I am behaving through fear. But I do think I need therapy to help.
The hardest part about being anxiously attached is what might come after the “paranoia” and the “seeing things that aren’t there” and our partner actually abandons us, rejects us or downright abuses our powerless attachment to them.
Breakups always hurt, but if you’re anxiously attached to someone that disconnection is so tied to our entire sense of self (because we don’t have one) our entire being collapses without them.
Just now I was in the shower crying out for him, and I felt it in my heart. I felt like I needed him to hold me, tell me I’m safe with him because he’ll be there for me and take care of me just like he promised. But he’s not there and it hurts to much! 😢 I feel so unsafe, so lost and vulnerable without him, I don’t know what to do! I can only cry the whole day, knowing this is something I can only heal within myself, but it sounds easier said than done 😪
I have anxious attachment and I’m doing all of the wrong things in parenting my kids. Im not even sure how to stop..
Weird I’m anxious but I was able to find a new fling and go dirt biking to forget. As a woman, I only get emotional around my period.
@yourhighnessnona thank you for the articulate and deeply felt description of out-of-control anxiety due to abandonment fears. I experience the exact same thing. But I’m working hard on healing and I hope you are too, because there is light at the end of the tunnel. Right now I’m waiting for my partner to contact me, and I’m suspecting she won’t. At this moment at least, instead of anxiety-spiraling, I’m curious. This is because I know I can make it on my own, and I also know that I am valuable and can find a relationship that works if this one doesn’t. I’m learning not to invest more in others than they invest in me.
The saddest part is it’s not really our parents faults either.
It’s just passed down lack of awareness and trauma that trickles down.
Our parents tried their best, and they were emotionally unavailable themselves and unaware how much damaging their abuse or neglect was causing.
No more victim mindsets. I’m owning this shit and healing. I’m done having chaotic and unfulfilled romantic relationships.
I want to be healthy and happy on my own and attract someone consistent and healthy!
Thank you for watching the video. Here are videos on developing secure attachment: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
I appreciate this comment, but also want to acknowledge that while it may not be our parents “fault”, as a child, you are there responsibility, so it’s not being a victim to acknowledge that they didn’t meet the need. It’s totally ok to point out that they didn’t provide something and it sucked.
This is less for you and more for anyone who may read the comment. You of course are totally free to feel how you feel too ❤
My mouth is bone dry. My jaw hit the floor. I stumbled upon this and never knew anything like this existed. I can't believe how I just fit perfectly into every part of this 🤯🤯🤯
Thank you so much for watching. What tips from the video will you use to create secure attachment?
@@DocSnipes No. Thank you. Been talking about it all day
My biggest problem is that I tend to move too quickly when getting to know someone. It's like I get so hypersensitive and romantically excited and have no patience to pace myself and let things progress fluidly. Then I get called out on it by the other person. By this time their interest has more than likely declined because now I've made them reconsider and back away. I even realize what I'm doing while I'm doing it and I still just keep doing it. I think I do it because I'm scared of looking like an emotionless cold uncaring person who doesn't know how to love. I never had closeness or nurturing love growing up. I just had the necessities provided for me along with the parenting basics. I guess I'm just trying to over-provide what I never received. I'm 46 now, a widowed husband, and feel like I'm now doomed to never find another companion to share a life with.
I am so sorry about that, Silver Punk. I don’t think you are doomed to never find another companion to share your life with. Have you watched the video on healing the inner child? czcams.com/video/IKJPtpaNP2A/video.html
And here is the video on self compassion: czcams.com/video/ZMJIkExQeJc/video.html
For me I kept choosing people who were dismissive one foot in one foot out, constantly breaking up or cheating on me..... it was the similar not good enough feeling I had as a child so it felt familiar and I thought you just had to work hard to be even noticed. So that made the anxiety worse of course. Vicious circle. Finally I realized with the help of a great counselor to stop caring or reacting and chasing. Let them go to make room for the one who will love you and not hit your triggers.
I appreciate you watching
Me too...crappy childhood fairy videos help me a lot.😘
Same here; I keep trying to date someone exactly like my asshat father, and/or a guy who is a manipulative and needy narcissist (just like my mom/). I'm a white-collar professional, slim/fit, good-looking, kind, etc... It doesn't matter. When my triggers are set off, a panic button gets smacked and....thar she blows!
Well said
As most of us know we have triggers, it's imperative to get these triggers in check so that we don't become little puppets on a string controlled by someone other that ourselves. We must be in control of our triggers NOT BE CONTROLLED BY OUR TRIGGERS. Easier said than done, I know this. But it's a start. DONT BE A PUPPET FOR ANYONE.
This is so me. I hate myself in the moments where everything overflows. I’m working with this for a few years but every “new” situation just seems to bring this out again.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
Please don’t hate yourself. I understand everything you’re going through. We all are doing the best we can. Let us just love ourselves for who we are. There is no one that is perfect!
I find the cappy childhood fairy helpful for childhood ptsd. 😘
Yess this me so sad it hurts
Thank you so much for mentioning neurodivergent children not having their needs met. I feel like this really affected me for life. It's so complicated to untangle once we're grown up.
So welcome. I appreciate you watching
The part about inconsistent parenting is wrong. This is the core wound associated with Fearful Avoidant (FA), not Anxious (AP) attachment. These attachment styles are fundamentally very different.
The first part of the video was highly informative though!
@@lukethompson5558 can you tell me more about this? My ex was an autistic child and I felt like he has this style of attachment because he broke up based on the fear that I would leave him
I had passive parents. With a “suck it up and deal with it”bury your feelings teaching growing up. Along with emotionally abusive relatives as a teenager. Along with rejection, failure, abandonment. Which feels like a full blown panic attack when there’s even a hint of being abandoned. It’s like your trauma response is constantly on.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching. You can find other videos on creating secure attachment at: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
I feel exactly the same
What have u done to undone it'
Our youngest son was sunk very deep into anxious attachment when he left his mother's house. While we did heap validation on him (something he wasn't getting previously, among many other things) much of it was heavily focused on him taking care of himself. Part of our validation campaign was to praise him in almost cartoonish fashion to make sure it sunk in that we were happy for him to do those things because he couldn't feel it unless it was exaggerated. He was terrified when it came time to go to college but we validated his feelings while reminding him of all the other new scary things he'd done in his 2 years with us. Every time he made a decision on his own he got praise and validation. Now we all sort of joke about it when he just calls to just talk instead of in a panic because he didn't know what to do. Now he calls to tell us about his growing independence. He knows we're still here for him, but it feels good that he has the confidence to do things on his own. We didn't push therapy early on because his mother had dragged him from therapist to therapist to find someone who would medicate him into compliance. He's going on his own now, in part because I talked to him a lot about my own therapy journey, and loves it. She helped him figure out he has ADHD, not an anxiety disorder, which has greatly reduced his anxiety. I actually got a call from him once while he was in session because he reallyreallyreally wanted to introduce her to me.
We're still the people he comes to to gush about his accomplishments because he knows they might seem odd to anyone who hasn't been where he was. So I get to hear him gush about grocery shopping, getting his car fixed, or trying new foods. Every time he makes a new friend it's a celebration because when he came to us he didn't have many and those he did have weren't very thoughtful. He's still navigating boundary issues with others but I'm sure he'll get there. It's been awesome watching him grow from an anxiety ridden boy who was terrified of even thinking for himself into the strong young man he is today.
Thanks for sharing, much appreciated. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
That's awesome! Wish I'd had that kind of awareness reaction from my family. Congrats to you and your son!
@@Lexi_Con...Unfortunately it was due in part to my own background. My husband grew up in avery stable, loving, validating family so he was at a loss about how to handle the roller coaster we'd been strapped into. What finally got our son's attention was when he'd tell us about something that happened at his mother's house, I ask him to let me guess how it played out, then essentially tell the rest of the story. I might miss minor details but overall I nailed it every time. After that, I'd tell him my story. I also spoke to him a *LOT* about my own therapy and how I apply it in every day life. His dad was super helpful in providing the"what right looks like" stability we all needed.
We're all so plugged in that today, a big tip-off of an anxiously attached person is the need to text constantly... maybe even call or video chat all the time, too. Inappropriate messaging at all hours of the day because they cannot emotionally self-regulate, so they need you to be there for them or give them an indicator that you haven't left.
I appreciate you watching
This is such a big behavior for me! And a missed message is a huge trigger for me as well
@@meanbean6011 I totally get it. The best thing to do is look more so at their actions than just their words. Texting is easy and low commitment in comparison. If someone aligns with your values and is doing everything else right, you have to ask yourself why texting is ruining the relationship. Maybe it’s a deeper issue of not feeling truly heard, or needing words of affirmation, and those things can be talked over vs. destroying it all. The bad thing is when reacting takes over and that negative response can cause disproportionate harm. I always ask myself now “Is how I am acting and feeling directly proportionate to the situation?” Meaning even if I do have the right to be mad or upset, does it make sense contextually or should I take a deeper look about why I’m so triggered?
@Alexa S. your words really speak to me. Social media has been affecting me a lot. Me and my partner have been together for many years, and people always tells us how perfect we are (not by what we post, but how we are in person).
And we changed our routine a bit, i have been more "present" in social media and it has triggered me to not received the same kind of attention and loving messages to my posts even though i still have them in real life.
Looking deeper, reading about codependency and attachment styles- I realized that this issue is related to my prior relationship and insecurities and anxiety have been in my life for the past couple of months. I am working hard on healing and changing my attachment style, therapy, and more to overcome these feelings and I am doing my best for the sake of my partner and of course for myself as feeling anxiety, insecure, unloved and abandoned is the worst!!!
I want to go back and feel amazing and safe😫
Omg! This is me right now. Lost a relationship and probably a friend because I couldn't manage my feelings properly and would text constantly trying to fix or explain things because I always feel misunderstood.
Wow. Wow. Wow. The signs of anxious attachment are so congruent to my symptoms of ADHD. And the fact that you used the experience of a neurodivergent child as an example really brought it home. After all my years of therapy, finally receiving an ADHD diagnosis as a 34 year old adult, THIS is the missing piece. Wow. Thank you so much! 🙏🏼❤️
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching. Other videos that might help can be found at: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=ADHD
This hits hard this is me and it hurts when your loved one leaves you due to clingyness, toxic traits like this but i just didn't want to loose them.
It breaks my heart when i get rejected or no one is into me makes me feel unlovable and hate grows inside me for others. Like why can't you see i am working on myself and a loveable guy? And it hurts me deeply to point i start hating others around me. I want to be happy and feel loved.
I am on the spectrum
I feel like in the past I've been anxious about being abandoned, even though in many situations I let it be, but with how things have evolved for me, I have this mindset that I should just stay alone...I know that it would help making friends, but when you feel like you can't trust anyone, it seems hopeless
Boy, I feel you. Stay strong friend.
I often feel that way, so you're not alone.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
I’m having similar feelings. I got into a new relationship and I love him dearly but I’ve almost become more avoidant where as my last relationship I was anxious. I think it’s a defence mechanism.
@@maddyharvey7414 I can relate in some ways, I hope it works out for you
I used to struggle with panic attacks myself, but today everything is much different. There was also anxiety. I wish you all a speedy recovery🌼
I am glad to read you are doing better and I appreciate you watching the video.
Betrayal Trauma made my Anxious Attachment and PTSD worse. Thank you for this session
Indeed.
Same!
I just wish my parents could have somehow seen and understood this video 24 years ago. It's like a 1:1 blueprint. It is so frustrating that it takes a lifetime of hard work to somehow get right what was messed up early on.
I have anxious attachment and the thing that broke the relationship is that they would not want to see me or talk about things for weeks - avoid any communication, even phone conversation. It just put me in an impossible position until I just couldn't take it any more. When I would ask - after getting strange "excuses" that didn't sit right logically or emotionally, they claimed I was violating their boundaries. I could give people space no problem if its talked about and its not completely shutting down... I guess it was a combo there with an avoidant and I guess we both didn't have the tools.
This is me to the letter; sadly. My mother was/is insensitive and inconsistent to the point it seems narcissistic. She raised me from her own place of trauma and now I'm trying to unlearn a lot of things so I don't repeat the cycle.
I am sorry about that. What steps will you take to build secure attachment?
My wife has this personality type and it's almost unbearable to deal with. She's constantly testing me for me to prove that I'm not going to abandon her and essentially challenges me to leave and then when I accept has a panic attack
Sounds like she maybe a borderline .
I am sorry about that. Has she watched the video?
I do this to my husband too, what I really want is reassurance
@@astridjanine1824 I feel for him. And you.
I've been examining my current relationship and I didn't even notice that I had an anxious attachment style but I noticed something was wrong and I finally got to the bottom of it. My mom was very inconsistent, being very warm and loving to distant and neglectful both physically and emotionally to downright cruel and violent, throwing plates at the wall and screaming at the top of her lungs for a minor inconvenience. I understand so much now and I'm working on healing my attachment style to become more secure.
Very helpful, thank you. I recently went through a breakup and my therapist has made me understand I have a very anxious and dependent attachment style, and watching your videos has helped me further realise my issues.
I am sorry about that. Thank you for watching. How are you planning to create secure attachment?
My girlfriend of 8 years broke up with me 2 months ago. I’ve been trying to figure out what the main stressor in the relationship was, and this was the exact issue. I was attached to her in a very very unhealthy way. I knew I was but I drew it up to being in love or being over protective. She chalked it up to possession and obsessive compulsive disorder; but this is a bit more cut and dry. Thank you for making this video. I hope knowing what I now know can help me repair the damage I have done.
I've been here. It was all rooted in low self-esteem, and a lack of self knowledge...I had to live, grow, and learn better.
I appreciate you watching and sharing. What helped you best address anxious attachment?
My parents split when I was 5. I was haunted by that. My wife accused me of being a narcissist and left me. After therapy the psychologist said I have Anxious Attachment. I ticked every box.
Thank you for watching the video. What tips will you use to cope with the symptoms anxious attachment?
I'm an avoidant and don't relate to any of this, but I want to understand anxious attachments better. Thanks for the video.
I appreciate you watching.
I often see myself as unfixable, but I’m pretty sure this woman could fix me as simple as if my truck had a flat tire.
Thanks for watching.
@@DocSnipes thank you for your insightful videos.
I thought I was healed and now I'm in a relationship and everything is coming back
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching.
I've gone from anxious attachment in previous relationships to avoiding relationships at all costs.
Dr Snipes, you are such a gift to the world! So many of your videos have me weeping, but I finally have clarity about my upbringing and how to heal moving forward. Thank you for your contributions to society! I spent 15 years in therapy and none of those people helped me as much as your videos do!
I appreciate you watching and I am glad to be of help. Can you, please, tell me how you are planning to build secure attachment?
I appreciate you watching and I am glad to be of help. Can you, please, tell me how you are planning to build secure attachment?
@@DocSnipes That is a good question. Simply understanding myself and why I am the way I am and why my parents were the way they were has been immensely helpful. It's simply the knowledge your expertise has give me and the clear explanations that have turned on the lightbulb, so to speak. Now that I know why A, B, and C are as they are, I am much happier and more content with life. Learning that we all just repeat patterns of behavior that we were taught and will continue to do so without intervention, and recognizing and understanding my triggers has been helpful. I don't know if I can really answer your question. But telling myself, "I'm having the thought that..."and understanding I am not my thoughts or feelings, and this feeling is temporary are helping me.
So on point ! I definitely had an insensitive father ,who still to this day refuses any mental or physical help
This part!!!
same. he used to be on board with therapy until he just quit and said God was all he needed. we are doomed lol
Great so I have both anxious and avoidant attachment styles.
I appreciate you watching
All of the signs apply to me and my relationship and in different amounts. Amazing how you were describing me. My significant other got very sick with covid and had to be separated from me (hospitalized) and could have died. I immediately started having severe anxiety attacks and couldn't sleep. I thought I was going to die. The knowledge in this video was so very helpful, and along with Cognitive behavior therapy has me on the road to recovery. Thank you thank you!
You’re so welcome. I am so glad to read you are on the road to recovery. What strategies will you use to create secure attachment?
This video speaks to my core. I had a mother who provided very inconsistent care and reflecting upon my childhood I recall often being in a state of panic trying to gauge what mood she would be in, thinking would she be home that night or will she start an argument at Christmas time or on Birthdays.
My anxious attachment is triggered with certain individuals and the days are long and very heavy. Always trying to live their life. Ruminating 24/7 about them. The fear they don’t like me…am I going to be rejected etc. etc.
Since starting EMDR therapy I’ve made significant improvement and now beginning to live a true authentic life.
Absolutely loved this video so a big Thankyou from me
I appreciate you watching and I am glad you are on the right path. Other videos that might help can be found at: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=Releasing%20trauma
A great video with detailed information without subjective opinions, thank you very much!
I have anxious attachment and I’m in a long distance relationship…Jesus Christ this shit is rough
Im in such a strange place because I think I found my Wife. Im realizing I’ve always had this issue with previous relationships, but only now am I aware of the issue. And only now am I working towards fixing it.
It’s just so hard to change years if behavior. I hope I pull through and don’t self sabotage
I REALLY resonated when you touched on atypical neurotypes and their relationship with anxious attachment! More of that please unless you already have a video on it.
This makes sense in so many ways. Thank you!
You’re welcome! Thanks for watching!
Thank you! This was what I needed to know today.
I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Excellent video on anxious attachments style , thank you
I appreciate you watching. You can find other videos on creating secure attachment at: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
This is so amazing! Thank you!
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching. You can find other videos on creating secure attachment at: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Thank you🙏🏽💕🙏🏽 this is helpful.
You are so welcome
Couldn't thank you enough for this!
You’re so welcome. Thanks for watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Thank you so much, I really needed to see this video. Thank you.
Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.
This is thorough and helpful, thank you.
You're very welcome!
Thanks for this. Explains a lot of my childhood and subsequent life experiences. 🤔😕
Great video, thanks!
I appreciate you watching
This is so me, I can't take no for an answer and I will force myself in. I have an overwhelming feeling of fear..... it's awful and I don't want to keep doing this. I push everyone away because I over do it and force myself onto them, then everything I am scared of happens and I am makingbit happen because of my fear of abandonment
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What tips will you use to create secure attachment? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
💕 THANK YOU DOC SNIPES 💕
You’re most welcome. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
@@DocSnipes thank you! I'll be marinating on this one for a while and extract the nuggets 🪙🪙🪙
This is such a important video for me thank you
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. If you’re interested in videos on building secure attachment, you can find them at: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Instant sub from me. I’ve been dealing with these issues for years because of my abusive father, and I’ve been taking steps to uproot all of the trauma I’ve built throughout my life since I have people that depend on me now.
Thanks for the push; I needed it.
🙏 I am absolutely happy that are focusing on attachment. Thank you!!!
You are welcome. Here is a link to several other videos I have done (longer ones) on attachment. czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=attachment
Thank you for some helpful tips. I think the hardest part is feeling the panic and overcome by it even though I logically can see otherwise...the panic makes me really, truly "not sure". Writing down the facts is a very helpful practice to lock that logic into place and not just try to get rid of the anxiety.
It’s awesome that writing down the facts works for you. Thanks for watching and for sharing
Thank you for explaining this to me. It's so helpful. Thank you. 🙏🎆🏵️
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. How will you start creating secure attachment?
great to see an attachment video, esp anxious attachment.. thank you..
You are welcome. Here is a link to several other videos I have done (longer ones) on attachment. czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=attachment
@@DocSnipes Thank you Dr. Snipes.. I have already seen some of them..will see the remaining ones too..your videos are very helpful for us who live in the lesser developed countries where mental health awareness is near to zero.. thanks for everything you do..🙏 ❤️
I have what feels like a strange combo of needing freedom and getting super attached. If I'm enjoying someone's romantic company, I feel the attachment coming on strong. But, I also feel like I hate being obligated or telling someone my every mood... I fear losing freedom or time I need with myself because im so much more comfortable on my own because I can process feelings or not get triggered, or work at my own pace. It feels triggering when someone wants my time if it gets "too much", but then I'm also scared they will abandon me because I care and enjoy their time and feel the codependency rising. Is that disorganized attachment or some whole other thing? Hahha
That sounds like disorganized attachment or avoidant attachment. Thanks for watching
Thank you so much, I have exhibited so many of these traits but never knew it was a thing and just recently realize its so hard for me to detach from one person, most times I have only one close friend and calling or texting this friend all the time, only one hairstylist, only one corner grocery store etc you have to do me really bad before I can detach. I might go see a therapist soon and I am working on it myself as well. The stress also affects my digestive system when its up and down
I am sorry about that. What tips from the video are you going to use to create secure attachment?
I am sitting here with my anxious partner... and all of this about consistency...11 + minutes in... you are talking about classic avoidant parents. Anxious parents tend to over parent, over pacify. This is classically how my parents were and I am a pure avoidant.
I am sorry about that. How will you use the tips from the video to help your partner?
@Doc Snipes you are amazing! Thank you so much for the great content! I'm anxiously attached and I will try your suggestions
You’re so welcome! I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? You can find videos on creating secure attachment at: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Thanks so much 🙏🙏 That was very helpful. I understand what's going wrong with me
You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching
everytime i watch your videos i always feel better. you really explain things well and help with understanding the source of the anxiety and behavior.
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching videos. What tips would you use first to create secure attachment?
I’m literally crippled by this every single day!
I am so sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What tips will you use to create secure attachment? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Thank you 😌❤️
Thanks for watching.
This has helped me recognise so much more about myself and best of all it has given me ways to deal. Thank you!
You are so welcome! Glad I could help. Thanks for watching
Thank you for implying that I am not totally bad because this attachment style!
I appreciate you watching, Melanie. You can find videos that might help create secure attachment at: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Thank you,I have this,and I do not have success in a partnership,I also notice allot of people have ,other attachment styles that are not healthy,glad I can work on my self, I usually was not this way until my mom passed,I'm older and think now Mom and I had this love language,so that's why we were so close
I didnt expect to learn much of anything, but I was quite wrong. Thank you for sharing this.
You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. I am glad you’ve learned from it. What would you say you’ve found most useful from it?
I’m speechless… Everything you said is so spoke on. Thank you for this video. I will begin changing things in my life 🙏🏽
You’re most welcome. You can find videos on creating secure attachment at: at czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
This is very useful and I find myself connecting with a lot of what was said
Thank you so much for watching. How are you planning to start addressing anxious attachment?
Trying to get out a bit more to meet old friends again whom I have not seen for a while although nerve wrecking but I did it it was fun however started overthinking everything
Thanks for the vid it was very informative and eye opening for me. It really spelled out a lot of issues I’ve been having with emotional anxiety. Particularly with my close family they are good people and they’re there for me and I love them very much but I get paranoid when I can’t see them or if they can’t give me the time that I want to spend with them. now granted this is completely understandable we’re all adults with lives. Also this is my aunt and uncle I’m talking about and they have three kids so obviously They have don’t have a lot of time to spend with me and so it’s understandable. and I always try to remember that but they’re the only family I have left I look up to them a lot and I get paranoid and secretly think that they don’t want to spend time with me or don’t like me or something ridiculous like that when they can’t be there for me in the way that I want. I know that this is irrational tho and it’s something I always try to reign in. Thanks again for putting this into perspective.
Thank you for this I believe this will save my relationship I been suffering this for a while
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
I see signs of anxious attachment in me as I have demanded a good exchange to insure a lasting relationship for me. It is right on the cusp of it, but some people might think it is annoying or "concerning". I am developing a more whole sense of self so that I do not have feelings of over-dependency on others. But I DO require respect and reciprocity in relationships because I have the need to interact with whole people who do not work to trigger my abandonment as part of the day to day interactions to try to mess with my developing feeling of wholeness and safety within my self.
How will you turn those signs of anxious attachment into ones of secure attachment?
@@DocSnipes yes, how do we??
I think we as anxious do have to require respect and reciprocity in kind and compassionate treatment. I think if you're anxious with someone who is not respectful, kind or compassionate it won't matter what attachment style you have, they will not be a good partner if that's what you are not getting in the relationship
Thanks!
You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching. You can find other videos that might help create a secure attachment at: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Highly informative
I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?
Wow... This is the first time I get this properly explained... And recognize as well.
I appreciate you watching the video.
Other videos you might be interested in can be found at czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=attachment
@@DocSnipes Thank you so much! And again sorry for mentioning the mouth sounds... they are irrelevant to the information you give and the amount of help and relief that gives!
Hej Doc Snipes
Words can not describe how happy am i to have found your channel... Your videos hit me directly in my heart, but it is a positive hit that makes me do something about it and correct the situation.
I can see that you are from the states, but me, as an macedonian who lives in Danmark, i highly recommend that you spread your messege to these 2 countries becasue there are not so many lucky macedonians/danes as me to find your channel, and i personally think that you are an undiscoverred gold!
I appreciate you watching. If you don’t mind me wanting, what are some of your favorite videos on mental health?
@@DocSnipes Healing the inner child videos and videos related on CoPependency.
Holy crap. I fit just about every single one of these to a T. I can't believe how freaking accurate this is.
Thank you so much for watching the video? How will you start creating secure attachment?
Thank you
From my study of this anxious attachment style people like myself tend to attract avoidant types. So one of the things I am doing to help with this anxious attachment style is to read books on what it looks like to be secure, and I’ll have to say all kinds of negative emotions come up, because I am so lonely, I focused too much on a job these past eight years that I neglected developing a social life or support group, because I was too exhausted at the end of the day, and then I started, letting the job consume me and the people there. I resigned from the job because I realized I needed to see if I could break away and it’s been really hard, but I’m just going to trust the process and hope that eventually I will come to be more secure in myself and at peace, I wish everybody out there struggling with the same attachment style success.
I have anxious attachment! All I had to do was hear the words! The only thing one can do..is Forgive..yourself and others and Accept it Best You can. I have had it now 20 years. I Love him So Much! But after two years he left me and married someone else. I tried to move on. I couldn’t. I wrote him letters for years.
I am sorry about that. Thank you for watching. You can find other videos on creating secure attachment at: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
@@DocSnipes Thank You! I will.
I suffered with this attachment style in my 20’s. It wasn’t until people rejected me, disrespected me and downright kicked me out their lives that I realized I was the problem. Unfortunately, many people do not respond will to this. Either the use you or feel smothered by you. Its up to you to do the work.
That sounds awful and I am sorry it happened to you. What tips from the video will you use to create secure attachment? Here are some videos on that: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Thankyou very much! I've learned a few things. I'm not overly anxiously attached in terms of the space aspect. But I do have triggers from a previous traumatic experience of domestic violence. I think some things from my childhood also played a part. I'm naturally a more anxious person and do my best to keep that under control. Thankyou very much for creating this video.
You’re most welcome. Thank you so much for watching the video and for sharing
God this helped so much! Thank you!!
So welcome! I appreciate you watching.
Wow Thankyou so much
Welcome.
This video is so so helpful I’m trying to deal with my anxious attachment so I can have a healthier relationship
I appreciate you watching the video.
Other videos you might be interested in can be found at czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=attachment
Thank you ❤️
You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Here are videos on developing secure attachment: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Very informative. Thank you for the content.
So welcome. I appreciate you watching
I have developed BAD anxious attachment after my ex husband cheated on me multiple times and now being single for 4 years and guys lying about genuinely being interested or going ghost. I see how I act when I'm talking to someone new and its horrific. Im learning ways to cope with these and also remembering that no one is perfect so for them not to be perfect right off the bat, is just a part of learning eachother. Its been difficult but I'll be watching all of your videos now. Lol thanks!
I am these to the exact T. Sometimes I resent my girlfriend because she isn’t paying enough attention to me and I hate being this way. I’m extremely insecure but I am a handsome guy… why is this? I feel I am most terrified of her leaving me for someone else. It cripples me with anxiety. I don’t want to be this person. I want to be secure and trust my love. She just left because of these things and I am working very hard to get her back and I’ve almost got her to trust that I am better.
I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. Here are videos on developing secure attachment:
czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
And here is the video on improving your relationship with yourself:
czcams.com/video/wolkGlwfVZw/video.html
I love this video.💖💖💖
Thank you so very much 🥰❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for watching. I am glad to read that. What tools from the video will you use to create secure attachment?
This is what I have been looking for for a long time. I have wanted some kind of Ideal parenting book that I could pour over.
I am grateful to be of help, Kitty Kat. Thank you so much for watching. How will you build secure attachment?
Thank You 🤍
You’re so welcome. Thanks you for watching. Here are some videos on creating secure attachment: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
THANK YOU‼️💕♥️💕
You are so welcome. I appreciate you watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at: czcams.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=attachment
I came across this video at the right time. I realized, this is describing my personal attachment style. But also, my parenting style. I feel sick hearing it from a complete stranger, indirectly. But iam glad I can use this information to begin to change things within my life and my family.
Thank you so much for watching. How will you address anxious attachment?
Okay, so...
I know I'm highly sensitive. This has caused problems throughout my whole life.
Although I have made great improvements since then I'm obviously still not fully healed because # 1, 2, 4, 6, 7, 9 and 10 described me and my behaviors pretty accurately.
But I know I will get over this and I will be able to have a healthy relationship someday.
I'm working on it. For me and for everyone around me.
Thank you for this. ❤️
You are so welcome. Thanks for watching!
You are not alone. I am this way also and want to find the best ways to cope and thrive. Regular people often don’t know how to handle us.
Thank you think meant so much to me
You’re so welcome. What did you find most helpful from the video?
I'm a 40 year old male and I finally understand why I am the way that I am. I also got some tips on how to address my issues. Thank you so much 🥰
Thank you.
You're welcome!
As I’ve gone through writing my book, “the Hurricane in my mind” I thought it would just be about complex PTSD, but have since seen just how many abandonment issues I had by the time I turned 18 that would lead to years of not only bad relationships, but relationship jumping . Thanks for all your information
You’re most welcome. I appreciate you watching