Poly-Drug Addict interview-John
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- čas přidán 27. 10. 2020
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of John, a poly-drug addict battling with depression, addiction, his sexuality and anger.
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This channel has made me appreciate I had a happy and safe childhood.
when someone tells you who they are? BELIEVE THEM!! thks Mark 🙏🇨🇦🇺🇸
@Cypher me. Thanks but you know nothing about my life at all. Just because I had a nice childhood, doesn’t mean my adult life has been easy. I’ve actually been going through an unprecedented custody case. So maybe don’t judge other people, just because their childhood was easy. You seem really bitter and maybe you should get some help.
Same.
@Cypher Me this channel makes others understand
Right......
Appreciate Your Life
This channel is phenomenal. Raw, emotional, eye-opening. Society generally looks down on homeless people as the lowest of the low and it’s an absolute shame. People like this man had everything stacked up against him. He was molested, his own father got him on drugs, and he was abused. We need to find a way to help broken people like him.
Yes, God, pleeeeaaaaaaaas,,😥🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️☮️☮️🌊🌬️💙
SWU opens up your eyes to a world the majority of us would never know otherwise. We see into a world we'd never want to live in or visit, a world of deplorable conditions, abuse, addiction, and hopelessness. My way of looking at people has completely changed due to SWU. I look at people now with a deeper understanding of what may have happened in their lives to bring them to this lifestyle. Mark himself, is a Saint. He cares about their wellbeing, he helps them as much as he can. To many, I'm sure, he is the only stability or light in their life. This channel is raw and untouched, a work of art actually.
⁷⁷⁷tcomñkmkmkl
I would add it’s the best channel on CZcams
I worked with the homeless & they were some of the most beautiful people
My problems are small.
My daily reminder that My life is not as bad as I think. I got out of that, for one. 😅
That’s great, start making a change in others life that have large isues
@Brunette Beauty what are you doing to help... educate us
@Brunette Beauty I’m being a father to my 2 children everyday 365 days a year. Giving them structure and a healthy routine filled with love and discipline.
@Brunette Beauty you must feel guilty with your smart remark comments. You must not do too much. You must not donate or volunteer your time like others do. Do you do something to make yourself uncomfortable everyday? Do you grow ? Or are you stagnant?
I’d definitely like to see a follow up with this dude. He’s either going one way, or the complete opposite.
@Jason totally agree. He is putting himself down even more. But that’s what depression causes. Seems like he doesn’t have anything to live for. I really hope he turns his life around.
Yes please 😔😔 he needs help
What a story... Breaks my heart to hear him say he will have sex with anything. PrAy for this Man.... These videos are real and raw like the real world.Love you Mark.
@@Oliver11217 he doesnt want help. he isnt willing to put in the effort that is required.
@@FpBklynnnn --- It breaks your heart that he says he will have sex with anything but you ignore that he talks about slaughtering people?
I wish we could touch people sometimes and give them quite, stillness and love. Good luck traveller.
Oooooo is so love that. My mind is a tornado like his. Sexual abuse from my father.
@@pamelaraney4654 so sorry, my daughter was abused by her biological father. He is dead now and I pray he is being tortured in his grave, Ameen. I wish I could remove my daughter burden and add it to myself.
@@tomeccaevans my mom is my rock and it sounds like you are hers. I was afraid my dad would kill us if found out. He was a bully and alcoholic. I hid the abuse well but it’s destroyed my soul. She will always need your compassion but no manipulation. Her dad taught her. I’m so sorry.
Well said. I wish the same
Simon I most definitely respect your comments I couldn't set it better myself
His story is probably the saddest I've heard, so full of despair but, as long as he has breath, there's hope and he shouldn't give up.
That's the results of meth. Sorry sweetie. Praying for you.
@@hope5644
Praying also, in Jesus name,.. that God heals this individual-!
@Sappstress 26
What....?
He’s my brother and my dad never did what he said he did. His dad abused him not my dad. I was around for all of it. I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13...
@@MaryCihlar He still on meth?
"I'm enjoying the negativity, because its what I'm used to"
That speaks volumes.
Yes it does!
He’s my brother I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13... I want to help him and he won’t take it
This one was heavy man. Very heavy.
He’s my brother I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13... I want to help him and he won’t take it
@@MaryCihlar I'm so sorry Mary. You are a great sis, please don't give up. You're in my thoughts. Much love from Little Rock, Arkansas ❤💯
He’s so much better of a person than he’s able to give himself credit for.
All of that negative self talk is so destructive. I wish he could find something good to say to himself every day instead.
I would be in a bad state of mind too if I had that kind of self talk.
@@thatgirlwhousedtohavereall5549 yeah. and what he has experienced gets in the way of him seeing any good in himself.
@Ty Ellison by the things he is saying. People around him need to be careful he may kill innocent people. I know he went through a lot but what he is saying I’m in shock/sad. He needs to find a therapist but I know he is in a very difficult situation no money/drugs ect. He needs to start thinking better of himself. I’m not judging it’s just mho. Hope he turns his life around soon.
@@thatgirlwhousedtohavereall5549
Do you know of the work of the author, Shad Helmstetter, PhD? I always think of him and his work when I listen to ANY of Mark's interviewees.
I came across his material in the early 90s. I was amidst divorce, it was a game changer for me. And in my motherhood, he released a book, "Predictive Parenting: What to Say When You Talk to Your Kids". I could write several paragraphs on how that made a significant impact on my life...and my son's life. He is highly successful today and I give that book a lot of credit towards that.
No realy
I was molested by my grandpa when I was a kid. Was in active addiction for over 15 years. Finally over 2 years clean. I know how he feels. Prayers to you brother.
Can I ask you a question and have an honest reply? Firstly what were you addicted to? How bad were the withdrawals? How do you feel mentally? Do you have the same energy as you did on drugs? Just would like to know if there truly is a better life after drugs?
Also I’m so terribly sorry that you had to go through that as a child, no child should ever have to go through that EVER….. sending all my love and strength 💕
@@maymacbell3983 yes, there is a WAY better life after drugs. I was an addict for years but have been clean for 13 or 14 years now. I have my own house, vehicles, steady job with steady income. Mentally I am 100 x happier and focused now. Drugs are horrible
He’s still alive so the prayers must be working. I’m his sister. He’s not doing well at all but he’s ok. Thank you for your support to him, it’s so appreciated
Brutally brutally honest. Rawest confession I've ever heard.
Or a lie. I call BS on this guy
I totally agree. He's got dark thoughts and his head is in dark places. It truly breaks a person's heart. There is no bs in his story.
My mom said whenever someone say they’re gonna do something, believe them. He need serious help. God bless his soul.
John doesn’t realize, he’s already hit his own self-destruct button...
I was sexually abused as a child. You do not have to be that person. You can make a change buddy. Don't give up. You are a beautiful person.
He’s my brother I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13... I want to help him and he won’t take it
@Sargent P...Peace to you my Friend !
@@MaryCihlar your brother isn’t your problem as sad as that sounds. He’s a danger to everyone he’s been aquatinted with or so it seems according to him.
@@MsMarta57 I know that but I’m a recovering addict, just got 2 years clean on the fifth and I’ve been thru a lot he’s also been thru so I wish he’d just give it a chance. But on my birthday (November 30th) he did wish me a happy birthday on facebook that didn’t make too much sense cause he was most likely high but it’s the first time in idk how long he’s said happy birthday to me so I’m just holding onto that and grateful that even happened.
@@MsMarta57 thank you for the kind words and looking out for me, I truly appreciate this kindness especially from a stranger. Most people who are close to me probably wouldn’t even say that so from the bottom of my heart, thank you❤️
"Do you feel talking about it helps you or hurts you?" -- such a powerful and empathetic question by Mark. He gets it.
I was pretty depressed at one point. I kept seeing my doctor every 1-2 weeks, and I’d come to her with something new I thought was wrong with me. One day she said to stop trying to find things wrong with myself and focus on the good things instead. I didn’t even realize I was doing that until she said it. I hope he gets help ❤️❤️❤️
Yes. Cognitive behaviour therapy. Building someone up not going back to the past. It works!
Thanks for sharing that, K 💚
You had a good doctor!
Maybe what I need also... it sucks
I don’t know if you’re ever going to read this, John. Only you can know whether or not you’re gay. I can understand how you feel confused, and angry. It seems like it weighs pretty heavy on you. The question to ask yourself is... do you find men attractive? The fact that you have a physiological response doesn’t necessarily mean your gay. It just means sex feels good.
It’s not like you ever had a chance to decide your own boundaries. You were dragged over that line, long before you could even understand the consequences. You don’t have to let all the crap that has gone down in your life define you, or your sexuality. Addiction leads us to places we really don’t want to go... but there we are.
Dissociation is kind of a blessing because it insulates you from... everything, but it cuts you off from the good also. I get why your skeptical about therapy. I share that doubt, but I also know that there are “qualified” people out there. You deserve a break from the cycle of abuse, which has never let up since it began. The hard part is you’re the only one who can do it. Please try.
I agree. I thought since he said he
“Zones out and is numb” he’s probably not gay. You would think sex is enjoyable if you like men? Idk I guess only he would know?
thank you for this as someone who's gone through abuse this really hit home
Agree 100%, IMO, John is not gay. He is faced with a horrific decision and has to go through with what he has to go through to earn his fix. The drugs are stronger than anything else in life. Another thing that really messes with our heads is TOUCH. Touch is very powerful and if you don't stay aware of that power...confusion sets in.
@@johnfogarty1874
Bless you ♥
You have a beautiful❤
You are in my prayers John you going get through this , you not alone. People are going through this with you we have your back
Yes John. My prayers too 🙏🙏
2 years clean and I'm no better than you at your worst. We are in the same boat brother and I promise you got this if you want it man!
If biden wins its gonna get worse
The first minute I felt as if John has dark demons in him. I prayed to Jesus to clean his soul. Then, he started talking about demons multiple times.
Its Kendoll, we do have his back. We have his hope. Because we believe in the power of prayer.
This is a warning, or, he is giving a warning, either way I hope someone is listening
He’s my brother and my dad never did what he said he did. His dad abused him not my dad. I was around for all of it. I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13.. I wish he’d let me help him.
I know addiction, and I know what it's like to only be happy when you're miserable.
Me too my friend.
Me too.😢 I hate the taste y alcohol, and it makes me feel sick. But id rather feel numb and sick then feel my nervous confused feeling. I'm so sorry 💔😢
I know the feeling to love to fuck up to get the feeling of more than numbness. I am happy I moved abroad and now have a wife and children. It changed my life.
@@meljc2823 The definition of a badass is someone who can get drug through all the shit that the world throws at them and come out on the other side with compassion, not hate in there heart. Stay strong.
@@anarchywon4170 l totally agree, thanks for your kind comment. 😌🙏❤️☮️🌈💚
Dont feel ashamed john because someone took advantage of you and stole your Innocents , i hope that your life gets better and you find the hope you need and you have a relationship with your son. Keep fighting for your life because your worth it. 💗
He is the epitome of a tormented soul.
Poor kid 😢
I hope you do a follow-up with him in the near future.. I'm curious to see where he'll be psychologically and physically
He’s my brother I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13... I want to help him and he won’t take it
This guy needs immediate psychiatry, meds and therapy. His mind is a tornado of negativity yet in the core he is selfless. He has a chance once we can get the drugs out and the meds and CBT in. I know he will make it through and reunite with his son!
He needs to get off the streets but it's easier said than done
See the problem with meds is that it can take a really long time to find the right combination of meds to take. Took me about 5 years to land on the right one and it was definitely not easy, but doable.
@@Yessirrrsz what med do you take Now
It may have taken you a long time but it may take him weeks or months. Please don’t discourage him.
@@Yessirrrsz absolutely but the right combo is life changing. I’m glad I went and got help and it’s made the bad that happens in my life easier to handle.
It’s so sad when you see people who are so broken, hurt, and beat up to the point where they don’t have hope, they don’t want help, they usually just want it all to end because they can’t see that this is a better side of life than what they are living... it hurts to see. I hope this man can get some help and eventually get his life back on track.
He talks about how no one cares, no one listens. But you listened and you asked him questions. His heart probably feels less heavy because you interviewed him
He's confusing trading sex, for attention and intimacy. He wants love and kindness.
Needs to accept help before he self combusts. Good luck John
Wtf? Did you listen to the same interview??? John's sexual encounters are in exchange for money to buy drugs. He is not looking for attention and intimacy in those situations.
@@nhlibra just my opinion. notice how he was talking about people pretending to care/be nice and him feeling confused sexually - Despite it being a sexual transaction.
Yall never had to do it. Shut up until you know how it feels to objectified for drugs.
Update on my brother Johnny, he’s still alive, we have some contact monthly, he was in jail for a while. Still not sober but he’s alive and talking to family again. Also got some help on his homicidal ideations so he’s not a threat to society.
“I’m enjoying the negativity...:” truest statement ever. It’s sometimes way more comfortable and easier to feel negative and be attracted to negative situations then feeing joy or choosing more positive experiences.
"CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE" We must find our inner warrior and dare to break the cycle. The universe has our back...one step at a time...👍
You're aboslutely no loser, your honesty alone makes you better than 90% of humanity. It's so sad how much love he has missed I cannot imagine how his day to day is, I'm happy he has a brother with him at least, perhaps the most darkness I have heard a person carry. I hope he can keep it in or at least don't take it out on good people, wish you the best, John!
Hes been hurt and Wants to hurt People that are similiar to the People who hurt him. Hates pedos and People who hurt innocemt People. Hes fighting good and evil within himself.
He mentioned having a dog, I hope he doesn't take his anger out on her. I hope he gets help.
A person like him has no business having a dog. I pray a good person takes her away from this incredibly sick and insane person.
You'd be surprised how well these people take care of their pets
@@melimel2990 He will get more love and attention off is dog than anybody on the streets.
You guys are talking about dogs. He is around humans.
John is crying out for help...I'm so glad that he ended up on the right Channel, with the right person, that is actually listening and always willing to help...Yes Mark...you and your kindness, compassion and generosity, Shines throughout... Thank you for all that you do...your Heart is in the right place...I hope John comes back soon and I hope he accepts the help, you had offered...
Stay Safe n Blessed...
“I’m enjoying the negativity, because it’s what I’m used to.”
I felt that, as someone with treatment-resistant depression and borderline personality disorder.
When I was a junkie a random guy came up to me and said he could tell I had demons in me. He prayed over me and I felt them leave, I cried so much, from that day forth I have been away from the drugs and dark thoughts. I’m telling you 12 years of pain, lifted by a strangers prayer. I wish I could give him a hug and pray with him. I’ve dealt with the demons, they are real, Jesus saved me.
Scrolling through the comments looking for someone who might say just this very thing. Hes full of demons they are tormenting him!! He needs prayer! Healing! 💙
He saved me too.
Praise God he saved me also
Jesus isn't real, read a new book
@@johndong8161 really? Prove it and I’ll send you $100.
Matter of fact, the Big Bang theory isn’t real and violates every known law of physics. Talk about a fairy tale. By all means, send me proof that the Bug Bang theory is factual and proven? If you can’t, that means you believe in fairytales.
I was in that same spot 4 years ago now i have a house that i own
Really happy for you!
What caused the turnaround and how did you do it?
Fabulous 💖
I am so PROUD & Happy for you! Keep doing great @scottbertus
Hmmm how’d you make that happen?. Even the normal average working person can’t own a house that quickly...🤔
I've met a lot of people in jail like this. Involuntary commitment where he'd be able to detox safely and get some time to think about life choices would do him well. I've seen a lot of people come around and actively seek help when they've had that time to think. Unfortunately most correctional facilities are still in the dark ages of incarceration for punishment, showing little interest in helping those who have potential. I hope this guy finds help and gets on the right path.
He’s my brother I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13... I want to help him and he won’t take it
@@MaryCihlar You look like you got trouble written all over you.
This did something awful to my heart.
He’s my brother I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13... I want to help him and he won’t take it
@@MaryCihlar Mary, never ever give up... keep reaching out to John, no matter the result... you just may reach him someday and he might respond. I know just how painful this is, for you and for John... I've been in both positions and neither is easy. Prayers up for you all... 🙏
This guy should be a writer, he is very poetic in a beat fashion with his speech.
I hope John is able to find peace, so he can pick up the pieces of his life and start rebuilding. He’s a lot brighter/smarter than he realizes. He says if he had a self destruct button, he’d push it. I think his insecurities and feeling like a failure allows himself to self destruct prematurely. If he applied himself 100% and stuck to some goals, he’d start to see some growth
He’s my brother I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13... I want to help him and he won’t take it
@@MaryCihlar how much of what he said is true?
This interview in my opinion is totally about relationship with family, friends, drugs, self and society.
And the thoughts of a school shooter!
His back story is almost identical to my ex boyfriend who was also a heroin addict that lived on skid row at one point.
Please don't sell your dog John. She lives for you and loves you unconditionally. You need each other. You'll get through this. It will get better. All the love in the world from Italy 🇮🇹. You are worth it.
🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿✨
these people have no business having a dog , they can not provide for themselves , it’s pure selfishness not to mention the deranged mentalities and harms they bring upon God’s creatures 💔
John don't sell your dog, your best friend. Only if you realize that you can't care for him the way he should be. And please make sure the new owner will LOVE him 🙏🏽🐾🐾🐾🐾♥️🙏🏽🐾🐾
@@Kimberly_K_ gods creatures??? what about the horribly abused child - you care more about the dog than this man suffering? heartless bitch.
@@Kimberly_K_ ah thats bs, most homeless people treat their dog / dogs way better than "normal" people .. letting them vegetate all day long alone at home while they're at work for example..
It is a mother's responsibility to protect her children, no matter what the situation is. I became a single mother, product of a divorce at age 31. I was in the prime of my life...great career, healthy child, slender, still had my looks. I have also been an avid reader. I was aware of many articles being written about stepfathers violating a woman's kids (boys AND girls) and also things kids are exposed to when a caregiver isn't paying attention.
I have a son that is 2 years older than John. When I reflect on the differences between these two young men, I am VERY sad for John. I personally passed up a lot of offers for dating. I was very picky about whom I would mix with. I only introduced 2 people to my young child. Only one of those 2 was allowed in my house and we had a long-term relationship. He was a father of 4 and a good Dad. My relationship did not work out, but both my son and I were safe. This was my #1 top priority. I would have pulled a nutty if anyone hurt my child. He was my focus. I also had my parents that were very protective of their grandson.
I am sorry to say...John was doomed from the start because he didn't have this same safety net. That critical time has passed. It is now up to him as an adult to take control of his life. I pray that he comes across some mentorship, someone that really cares about providing him some guidance in life. I know his statements of wanting to hurt others is harsh, but it tells me he still has a moral compass because he wants to hurt people that hurt others.
John, if you are reading this...I am so sorry for your rough start in life. You did not deserve that. And I do no feel you are gay. I will be including you in my prayers. You are a good young man. Don't let the continual disappointments in life form whom you are. Keep your chin up, reach for something better for yourself.
I am curious what things you mean that kids are exposed to when caregivers don't pay attention?
@@vivalanikkix Anyone around a child can take advantage of them when a caregiver (Babysitter, Parent, Teacher, Any Older relative or Adult) is not physically “watching” or monitoring the child’s interaction(s) with others. It doesn’t matter what age, race, gender, religion, or “sexual” preference of the people your child interacts with. Stuff happens to vulnerable children when their caregivers aren’t aware, alert, and consciously paying attention or keeping watch over them! Often the caregiver is the predator.
Children that are violated usually do not have the power or intellect to discern inappropriate touching and other ratchet abuse. They certainly don’t have the physical strength to fight off perpetrators. Regrettably, that is probably why the word, incest, was coined to describe the horrible pathology (Hurt people hurt people), that happens within families. Based on what happened to me, I began teaching my son around 2 years about inappropriate touching done to him or requested of him. I affirm that those of us that have been abused will heal and ensure that others don’t endure or stay in pain. In the meantime, I’ll keep sending love & light and holding a healing space in my thoughts and actions for all of us.
AGREED...What the hell is going on in this world? Bless you. I did 10 years plus of NO DATING ...gladly, because once you're a Mom, your job is to protect your young, the SWEETEST Gift we could ever receive. Sad to think What coming...l fear for my grandsons and the world we're living in. Best of all to you and especially poor John. 🥺
He’s my brother please don’t speak on what you don’t know.
He is completely honest. I hope he finds some peace. That feeling of despair is so painful.
He’s my brother I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13... I want to help him and he won’t take it
@@MaryCihlar he knows that you can‘t help him. And he does not want to pull you down. Wait, the time will come when he is ready. Take care of yourself, that is what he really wants. I am very sure about that.
I don't know if you'll see this John, but just from this Interview I can tell how much of a compassionate person you are. I am sending you all the love and positive vibes. I struggle with depression as well so I felt every word you said on a personal level. I hope you find your son and get on the right path, you deserve it.
I hate that I have the ability to understand his deep pain. You got this baby! Fight, fight, fight. You have so much potential! Dont give up. I am 25 and have been sober from heroin/fentanyl for four years. It is a difficult fight but, once you find your self worth and love, you will be successful
The greatest thing about doing these videos is that you see that So many strangers who really care about you John. I hope things get better for you. 💜
This guy is the definition of a tormented soul. He is a danger to himself and others. I hope he finds the peace and help he needs before he hurts himself or someone else.
oh my heart aches for you, you are such a sweet loving soul. I hope that you meet someone one day who will show you what real love is.
I know his sister... He doesnt want help. They've tried 🙁
I hope he reads the comments.
Thank you Mark for letting people talk. This makes people feel less alone. At least i feel like that watching this man. I hope you get some peace John.
I feel his transparency and pain. Thanks for sharing Love. You have to believe things can get better. Mark I appreciate you sharing these stories that we don't want to acknowledge right here in our own communities. They always bring down off of my perch. It's closer than we concede.
This is my fucking brother. Oh my fucking god. I’ve been watching this channel for so long and now I finally see my brother on it I’ve been waiting for this day.
I pray your brother gets the help he needs.
I hope and pray he reaches out and get the help he need.
Do you have any update on how he may be doing?
We love you John
@@Azewzew I wish, he goes ghost for months and months and then posts weird incomprehensible shit on fb for about 2 days and then disappears again. This video is the latest update I have..
Although his honesty is commendable, he needs to be institutionalized. He is outright saying he has thoughts of hurting others. Now if or when he actually acts on it we'll look back and say how it was preventable. There's a ton of psych meds out there, when one fails another can be prescribed until the right one hits. He needs to be off the street away from the type of people that trigger him.
Agree 💯
YES!!!!
Yeah he's talking about murder. He has sexualuty, drug and race issues to work out
@@modernmyth9050Yes.
That last breath when he was fighting tears is what made me choke up the most. Such a precious soul being broken by it's circumstances. Life truly isn't fair. Hope he'll find a way out of his misery. Someone that shows him how special and loveable he is.
He’s my brother I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13... I want to help him and he won’t take it
@@MaryCihlar I'm so sorry to hear that! I can only imagine how hard this is on you. Hopefully you're taking care of yourself
@@greensan3093 I’ve been sober for a year and 2 months and I’m grateful everyday to be alive
@@MaryCihlaryou copy/paste the same message over and over under different comments. İt looks suspicious
@@Zain_Passing_By lmao how? I’m sorry people want to hear updates or feel bad so at least knowing his sister sees the comments makes em feel better lmao
I wish meditation classes / yoga classes along with free hot meals bc sometimes an attitude change can come from having something to eat & just taking a a breath
Wow... I've never watched one of these videos where my chin hit the floor... I feel so bad for him! This is heartbreaking😥
He’s my brother I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13... I want to help him and he won’t take it
I wish I could hug this man and tell him he is beautiful and should never ever give up the trauma that he has been through really touched me I do hope he gets some help before he commits a crime because he is chemically unbalanced I hope Mark can speak to someone so that they can help him before he actually does kill someone
May god come close to this man and watch over him and hopefully guid him down the road with help love and positivity ❤️🙏
Amen
@El Gordo 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Amen
Amen
He’s my brother I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13... I want to help him and he won’t take it
I'm honestly speechless hearing this interview makes me so grateful to have found recovery.
John is wearing his pain as an armor. Drugs surely exacerbate depression. Hope he finds the support he so desperately need
He has some very intelligent insights. You're very smart but you are in a hole where you need professional help in order to break out of the cycle.
Hey John I'm located in Los Angeles and own a concrete pumping business in construction i would like to help you out with a job and getting sober if you read this respond back
@James Diamond projecting a bit are we?
Don't waste your time he's too far gone
Sadly, it appears that he will only be receptive to help once he gets clean via incarceration. He's definitely not beyond redemption, will just take something extreme to get him there :-/
He’s a waste ! Your offer is gracious but he is thriving on self pity , and dope ! Cleariy a danger to society !
That's pretty cool of you to reach out
This poor soul is an immediate danger to others and himself. He needs help ASAP or this is going to end terribly. He cannot get himself out of this alone.
You can’t save anyone.
Oh my Mark, this one was scary! I hope he is ok today and got the help he so desperately needed. It is. Sad world. Prayers for him and all others who suffer.
John you have so much potential. It seems like you’ve been failed by everyone who should have been there for you. There are good people in this world. People who will love you. Please don’t quit. Try again to seek out help, I bet Mark would be happy to help give you some direction. ❤️
This is heartbreaking
John 💔, so sad. 💔
Mark I believe this is the first time I’ve seen you interview someone that seems so unreachable, and despondent 😭 ... There is still hope for John 🙏🏽... Thanks for inviting him back, I think because of your empathetic nature he will return and really open up... relax, and accept the help he so desperately needs 😢
I really respect the honesty these people are willing to give, I love this channel, I'm always amazed by people like this
This interview broke me... I send you a big hug, John.
Dude is dangerous, everyone has so much empathy but I know men like him and he's not safe to be around.
Agreed...my heart goes out for him...but he is point blank saying he is dangerous and thinks about hunting people...whether or not he's talking about hurting awful people, he's still thinking about hurting people...he even says he should go to jail...it's where he belongs...he is scary and I hope he doesn't end up on the news.
fighting is a stress response that can turn someone evil. My mom was a ghetto rat who beat people up. After she got caught for pot and came out of jail, she wanted to fight. She started coke to avoid getting caught with pot. She was bipolar and went into mania. Her kids became the enemy and she fought us and my dad. She snarled, gnashed her teeth, growled, beat and strangled us. We lived in her waking nightmare and she told us it was our fault, basically for being born.
Everybody is not the same,you should know that already!!
He placates the psychotic admissions with an equal amount of sympathy eliciting suicide anecdotes. I don't think he prostitutes himself at all, he speaks of homosexuality and gay sex the way a homophobic person does, using hate speech slurs. He has no remorse and is cold & scary calculated. This dude could be a serial killer
I kinda get the notion that he is putting up a front...that's just me though.
John is brutally honest and lays it all out for everyone to see. A child's being abused, not feeling loved, not having security, lack of trust, etc can spread like a disease over their life....pulling them down into darkness. I really hope John gets the help he needs. John's pain is heartbreaking.
Such a raw honest interview... It's breaks my heart. I hope this young man finds his way because he has so much potential.
Wow... this poor guy😕 He’s so focused on the negative things in his life (which is understandable) but he can’t see the potential within himself. My heart goes out to him. I hope you find peace sweetheart🙏🏽♥️✌🏽
Wow !! This guy has made some disturbing intentions so horrifyingly clear 😳🤔 I really hope & pray 🙏he seeks help!
This has become one of my favorites. I have so many connections and parallels to his life, its insane!
is john still alive? this is the most painful one i heard out of a 2-3 dozen. thinking about killing yourself every day and killing others. that's not living. he is such a sensitive soul and those, unfortunately, are often targeted to abuse
This is the biggest cry for help. As the interviewer you have a responsibility to act on these threats of harm. This poor man is literally begging for help from himself.
What would you want the interviewer to do. He asked him is he would go to a doctor and try to get some help and he said no.
@@EchoBravo370 you can't send someone to prison for a crime they have not yet committed.
I agree!!!
@@EchoBravo370 Prison? For mental illness? I completely disagree.
John...you have pressed that ' self-destruct button' . Many times. You are still here , for a reason. That reason is your child. Look for the light, buddy. Follow it.
Do anything to find your way back into your kids life. It can only get better.
You can do it. You are worth it.
❤️❤️❤️🇨🇦☕️☕️
This video made me cry. He is a very hurt young man w/so much potential. He is articulate, handsome, intense & keeps it real. He doesn’t give a crap. He just tells us all what he does. What he’s been through, the sadness and guilt he feels when he talks about his son, what he sees for his future, etc. all in a very descriptive way. I like this guy. I hope he can get the confidence he needs to get the hell away from skid row and make a better life for himself. MAKE CONTACT WITH YOUR SON! Don’t procrastinate another day. You will regret it more in the future if you do not. Even if you don’t feel like you ready, just make contact before you wait so long, your kid is grown up and doesn’t want to talk to you. Hang in there. Find a way to channel your anger and work on letting go of the unpleasant memories of the past, as well as the shame and or guilt you have. 👍🏻
John- I think you're a gentle soul. You have just developed coping mechanisms to cope with your past traumas, which don't serve you anymore. Working through your past experiences in a supportive environment Will help you to heal from them x
Living with guilt, regret, anger, embarrassment, he desperately needs mental help.
Mark I would love to see an interview with yourself talking about what’s next for you after these kinds of interviews and how you cope with it all etc.
God bless this man. I am so sorry so many people have disappointed you. It was so upsetting to hear how these professionals and the rehab center that kicked you out. How is what they're doing helpful? They are part of the problem. Sometimes the ppl you expect to help don't. They're the complete opposite. That being said, there are still some good people out there who do things with their heart. Mark is one of them. Please don't give up on yourself. Youre deserving of everything this world has to offer. All the good. And there is good out there because I see it in you.
He is a sweetheart, - it's too much, overwhelming too much. No wonder he is where he is at. A lot of empathy and love is needed.
I hope talking it all out loud brings him some peace.
He ain't goin feel peace until he get done with his rampage!
Can we get a Follow up video or update on him? Such an interesting video, clearly a very traumatized and sick individual. Hopefully he has received help for his mental health issues and trauma.
John I also was molested as a child. I know the emotions you go through too well. I do know now I didn’t let it make me feel unworthy. There’s positive voices there and you need to dig deep into your beautiful soul to hear them. I always say keep your faith to rebuke those demons. I believe in you but you have to believe in yourself too. You got this John. Mark I hope you have a follow up on John. Stay strong John!
Very intelligent John. I know I state the obvious but therapy and rehab will of course lead you to a stable life , I see you as a helper for others who have suffered like you . You have a lot of potential. Wishing you health and peace .
As a child I remember throwing tantrums at my parents for not getting me the latest iPhone that some of my classmates had and I thought I had the worst life ever watching these videos make me truly realize how truly blessed my childhood and present life really is.
He’s my brother I’ve tried to get him to reach out to me and he won’t. Breaks my heart haven’t seen him since I was 13... I want to help him and he won’t take it
Prayers up
Thank you for this ❤️
Boxing. This is the Anger, the want to kill .... He is Not doing it. He is too good and Strong. And because of His so'n. He is angry. Help him. He should never do sherm, IT IS also this sherm that lets him think Like that .... . I believe him that He cant do IT ... If you give me pain Medikation, i get really angry,
WE have to Put down this Pädophile Thing. WE cant Take this.
I wish i could hug him, this interview got me...
This is so heartbreaking to hear. John I doubt you will see this however I pray you are in a much better place today. You deserve to be at peace. You deserve happiness, love and a good life.
I see so much potential in this young dude, his honesty makes me like him so much, I totally relate to his way of thinking too, he just needs a bit of help from the right person
As a woman I know rape is terrible. But I absolutely hate men who rape anyone man or woman but I think there is a special place in hell for men who rape young boys & men. Not only do you take their pride & dignity but they take their identity & place an unpleasant spirit inside these boys & men that they just can't shake. It breaks my heart to see this boy in this interview cuz this is just what these freaks who rape them create. It's not his fault he feels this way. A man/boy has nothing if he can't get a grip on his manhood & men who rape them should be given the death penalty in my opinion. The rape of boys is as prevalent as girls, the boys just don't talk about it. Then as the boy ages he doesn't know if he's gay or straight & family or friends pressure some of them to get a girl or get married and he doesn't want to but does so to please those around him & takes all that built up anger out on some young lady he's with sometimes even killing her. This subject just upsets me so bad. I'm praying for John & I hope his predator is suffering something very vicious in his life.
What about women who sexually abuse young boys and girls, (they do exist) or women who keep their husbands P’Whipped? You know, using sex as a bargaining chip. (They exist also) Isn’t there a special place in hell for those abusers as well?!?
Thank you for acknowledging the pain and trauma of men. Too often we are made out to be the demon in every scenario. Your words as a woman mean alot
Agreed. All rapists, molesters, pimps, etc. who abuse innocents will spend eternity in unimaginable hell.
Usually when there is a warning as with this video I heed it and do not watch but this time I am watching. It is so odd to hear a child's angry, confused voice coming out of his adult body. He is still that child and now a child who has been abusing drugs since he was nine. Those years of a cornucopia of drugs have done real damage to his brain. I would hope that with the right professional help he could regain trust in humankind and rebuild a sustainable life. At the age of twenty-eight there is so much still to live for and the prospect of being a safe member of society that I do not think he is garbage to be thrown away.
John.
You are loved by those you have yet met. Your words are going to help someone you may never meet. Keep pushing and know you are worthy and you are capable to be one with your true self.
My heavy heart goes out to you John!
I hope you make peace with your demons, I hope you can get clean, I hope you clear things up with your son’s mother and have the opportunity to be the best father you can to your son, I hope you get and accept long-term help, I hope you end up with people in your life who make you feel loved and like you’re important and will keep you on the right path.
I really do want the best for you, you’ve been through too much in such a short life.
Just reached out for help for alcoholism yesterday.
I've got a recovery meeting and therapy next week. I understand him so deeply
Good for you! Please keep on keeping on! Much love to you 💕💛
I turned 30 this January I've been watching a lot of these little flicks I too am a re covering drug addict I have 3 years sober I saw this video it's like looking in a mirror of where I was not too long ago I remember praying the God that he would take my life or incarcerate me. I was blessed enough to be one of the ones that was given a second chance I actually was incarcerated 16 months out of my life saved my life you talk about possibly selling your dog for a fix you question whether or not you're gay you'll never know man you can't decide nothing or make any decisions while you're on drugs you got to get your head straight this ain't you man I can see it I guarantee you you're happy smiling fun you just got to get out of that hole
I absolutely love this kid!! I can see right thru him. He is screaming for help. Angry, hurt, confused. I feel like he needs to be showered with unconstitutional love. I'm rooting for him. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
My heart hurts. So many like him out there. He is on the brink now- he can change his life for the better- or he will continue down the path that sadly but definitely will lead to death. In limbo. I hope we get an update somewhere down the line
This is another amazing interview! Broke my heart though. I feel so much for John. He has had a very rough go of it. I hope he is able to want and get the help he needs. Please don't give up John - You are worthy and worth it! You have so much to offer to this world. Hang on, and understand that there really are good people in this world, and they will help you if you just ask for and accept that help. There is so much Love in this world, and you deserve that love. You have so much Love to give too. So please hang on and just try to see the light that's out there. Please try and give sobriety, and mental health treatment one more honest try. If not for yourself, then do it for your son. No matter what - he deserves to grow up knowing his father, and with his father in his life.