Childless in the world's most fertile country - BBC Africa Eye documentary
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- čas přidán 23. 02. 2020
- In this film for Africa Eye, Niger filmmaker Aicha Macky, who herself is struggling to conceive, explores the subject of infertility within her community.
She interviews women from different walks of life to determine her place in the society as a childless woman.
Niger has the highest fertility rate in the world. It's estimated that around 50 million couples worldwide experience infertility issues.
In many cultures women are held responsible when a couple experiences difficulties to conceive. This social pressure can often lead to women being shunned, their husbands taking additional wives or even result in divorce.
Childless women, often seen as a burden, are stigmatised and often face discrimination.
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#childless
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My uncle married a woman that was divorce because her husband thought she was infertile, turns out after she was divorced she met my uncle and had too children for him and her previous husband in a new marriage is still childless because he was the one with the problem. Infertility is always blamed on the women.
Good for your uncle and aunt. I am happy that things worked out well for them.
A A same with my aunt. The first man she married was mean toward her because “she couldn’t have children”. But then they separated and she remarried and now has two beautiful girls. Society always blames the woman...what a shame! Ignorance indeed is a disease
Majority of the time, it is the man who isn't fertile. If a woman has a regular period, it is very unlikely she isn't fertile.
@jadapoo1 Exactly my friend
Not so long ago in Europe women were
blamed ols. But not the men.
My bible says a childless mother is a mother to ALL. I wanted 12 children and I don't have any. Now I have stage 5 kidney failure, sometimes life don't work out the way you want. Keep living😘🙏💕
A long health , happy , peaceful, abundant life will be upon you 🙏🏾
@@princessd3966 Amen 🙏🏾
@R. S. Thank you" I'm blessed to have made it this far.
@R. S. You have the same story?
I'm sorry that you are dealing with this illness. I know you are looking forward to the future when God will remove pain and suffering forever (Revelation 21:4) and you and everyone else on earth no longer has to endure bad health (Isaiah 33:24). The bible has the highest wisdom and it's nice to see someone truly recognizing and appreciating it instead of turning away from it like a lot of people do nowadays. I hope you find this message encouraging as I found yours to be. Take care and stay strong.❤️
Not being able to have a child doesn’t define a woman, she still is valuable.
sun girl* That’s what needs to be changed. It’s not right
The sterile husband standing up for his wife ❤️
5:00
Standing up because he's the problem.
@Mishy Mish no that's not the reason. he did stand up for his wife because he knew quiet well that his wife would have been given to his brother. In a culture that treats women as objects do you understand the impact of admitting one is infertile? If he didn't stand up for his wife that day she could have been stoned to death. He admitted it to protect his wife from death. You don't understand how these kind of communities work so don't go saying thins so stupid.
the act of taking many wives to check for infertility is more honourable than publicly admitting it. if a man in such a community admits to it he will be considered as less of a man and might have to move to be able to earn an income for himself.This kind of communities work differently but this doesn't condone the treatment of women there, but before making such a statement you should first understand what is at stake for both parties.
@Mishy Mish I didn't say you were stupid but your assumption was stupid. If you were in such a community or had bothered reading my explanation you would understand my point and the cruel truth that exist but you seem to not want to. OK I understand
I am a 34 year old South African female. I am proudly childfree and I sincerely do not care what people think or say. The same people who look down on you for being childless will not lift a finger to help you emotionally or financially with that child they force you to have so much.
I live my life for me and not others.
That's right live your life for you💞💞💞💞
Tholi M ,it is so refreshing to hear an African woman who is standing up to bullies and saying to hell with you little tyrants.Good luck to you.
I am proud of u
You and me Sesi. I'm tired of these people who can't even look after their kids forcing us to have kids as if it makes us less women.
Siyabonga Dube that’s was unnecessary😒
What a beautiful story of the woman's husband who stood by her for 19 years until his death. We need more stories like this, which build hope.
Stood by her? Nobody proved she was there one who couldn't have children..
They are not my children but iam proud of raising them.The best thing I heard in this documentary .
Like the doctors said it takes 2 people to make a baby. It could 100percent be the men not the women. Women should be allowed to take a second or third husband to test their fertility. 🙄🙄 stop putting all the pressure on the women.
D Hunter yup. For 1/3 of couples, it’s with the men
nope not in africa, unless woman is divorced.in todays world science can easily tell where problem lay. and if science says man is the problem then it is easy, woman can divorce sterile husband and marry while divorced man can marry woman who had children out of wedlock, problem solved and both parties happy.
Sometimes the ones that do have the kids can’t even afford to take care of them 😩
Neither do they have the patience to properly raise and nurture them....I will never understand that
are you saying that because she's african?
25,000 subscribers with no videos challenge no because I am African I have family back home who I send money to and even though they know they are in poverty they still produce and say that it’s all from god
Especially here in America. Raise them in bullshit drama, broke, dont teach them anything or prepare for the future like truly investing in the next generation but yeah call them “blessings”. They’re more like accessories to some people and thats so wrong. A lot of women will have nothing else going for themselves but think they’re better than the next because they can produce children.
You can say that again! 👍🏾
My uncle stuck with his wife regardless of the fact that she wasn't falling pregnant. So much pressure from outside to leave her but he stayed.. 15 years into their marriage they were blessed with a baby boy!
There are so many reasons for a couple not to be conceiving.. yes, unfortunately in our African cultures, women are mostly blamed for a childlessness marriage.
A uterus is not an obligation.
Positive vibes @Noni, change the narrative by sharing our stories. I believe there are many such stories all over the continent. We just hear one brand of marriage, etc. Our cultures were historically vibrant
Damn, im worried about birth control so I wont get pregnant because of my fear of accomplishing my goals and career. When a woman on the other side of the world wants a child and its getting belittled for not having a child. Different realities.
Career choice is controlled by man, pregnancy is controlled by God, the true reality.
@@DJPapzin ? Not really. If they could afford IVF or medical intervention most of them could get pregnant.
@@KaizorianEmpire most women who are wealthy who can afford any fertility treatment still fail to fall pregnant...like I say, God decides who get pregnant, you decide on your career and wealth
@@DJPapzin er? lol no. That's not how it works. the failutre rate is 70% but if you have enough money you can do it multiple times and those that have a lot of money can have a child. If you can't due to your tubes, you can even have IVF into a surrogate mother etc. money equalizes a lot of things. This isn't about God lol. God has a small part
@@KaizorianEmpire the 1st world countries have infertility rates below 1.9, the world average is 2.4. They say money can get you anything, it seems like babies ain't one of them.
It don't matter how much money you have, fertility is out of your control, even if your government can subside it's citizens to procreate, it doesn't help at all.
The message at the end is beautiful. A woman can be fulfilled without giving life. Raise a child that is not your own. There are a lot of children that need your love!
I feel these women....I'm 33, been married almost 10 years and my hubby is 40. We have no children yet...I'm black American and he is Haitian. The pressure has been so heavy on me as to why we don't have children yet. Ppl can be so cruel. I've had ppl make all sort of assumptions about me and my character just because I don't have kids. I've been accused of not wanting children, told that I don't value family, that I don't care about our future generation and the list goes on. It hurts so much because they don't see me when I'm on my knees with prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving making my petitions known to my Father in heaven asking for the blessing of children. I may no longer be a young (in the 20's) mother, but I believe through Christ I will have children of my own.
A child won't validate your existence. A uterus is not an obligation.
Your worth is not defined by having a child. What I read in your post is that by having a child you will have pleased others. That is no reason to bring another life into this world. There's more to life than having a child. You'll find your happiness.
God decide, not man. Be happy and feel blessed because you alive and well.
My husband and I have been together for 19 years. We are having our first child tomorrow. God is good, God is not dead. Stay strong please, keep praying for direction. I had a blocked fallopian tube and previous history of fibroids.
Not2008Me Amen and Amen. Hallelujah
This lady is soooooooo beautiful 😍❤️
See is!!! That's what you call "Natural Beauty"
I was thinking the same thing-Not a stitch of makeup!
Very beautiful n her skin😍
All women are beautiful.
@@thisistheaccountname you must be as so called white person. Your hate it when people acknowledge the beauty of black women.
A man can take multiple wives to test his fertility but a woman has to take only one husband. That powerfully showed the inherent inequality Of an institution that is so powerful in that country. This was an amazing video, and I hope she continues to find peace and affirmation as she navigates a harsh society.
In times where DNA testing was not an option and until this day in many countries they are not readily available, if a woman had more than one partner how was she supposed to determine who the father was???
@@desertrose5624 some cultures were not obsessed with it, they raised kids as a whole community/tribe.
So true!!!
@@desertrose5624 genetics and looks would help out alot I'm guessing🙄
Kate S what cultures were not obsessed with not knowing the paternity of the child? bring facts.
First the pressure to marry early,then to marry well and then to give birth next comes having sons.oh God grant women rest from societal pressures
I totally agree with you dear
Amen!!
Yeah, just say fuck you this is my life and not yours.
Ladies, remember a uterus is not an obligation.
@Maliha Rahman That's a very rude statement. EVERYBODY'S continent suck in some way!
African women care so pretty and their voice so soft spoken and mesmerizing I love you my sisters I am so proud to be descendant of Africa
I like african accents too
This was poetic... Yet unfortunate. I'm glad she is starting to be at peace.
In 2020 it is so sad that a woman's value is still tied down to her ability to bear children.
We have a long way to go.
Unfortunately some people still choose to live in the past. :'(
A uterus is not an obligation.
So backwards
*I HATE HOW THE WOMAN IS ALWAYS THE ONE SHAMED FOR NOT HAVING A CHILD MEANWHILE THE PROBLEM COULD BE FROM THE MAN?*
A woman can be fulfilled without giving life. 🙌
We can all give life in more than one way.
People still comment about Africa as if it is a country 🤔. In 2020!
Ayanda Mabanga I'm African from West , anytime I'm out Of the continent I refer it as Africa in conversations unless it bothers someone to know where in Africa so yes no wrong about that .
bruno task Even if colonialism did not introduce borders , conflicts would have still occur.till date in my own country tribes don't get along so yes been called as Africa has no big of an issue . I'm you wouldn't find it a problem to say I'm traveling to Europe or America?
bruno task I'm African from Ghana I see no wrong in calling our continent Africa when the such person is out of the continent .
bruno task I did because so.manu Africans are bitter when European or American refer to our continent as Africa but this is the continent I. geography we can't change a thing .I said I'm African until you ask me which country I reside is it incorrect to say so?
My most African we share certain traditions and behavior especially about barring children. It often a female fault
Having a child dose not solidify your "women-hood" & Just because a women can have a child don't mean she should... In America they're are too many children in foster care that would love to be adopted... If you're barren that's could be Gods way of wanting you to adopt...
What you said is so beautiful. Thank you. I needed to see this.❤
I appreciate what you've said, however adoption should not be the job of those who cannot have children. Adoption should not be a last resort. There are many children needing homes and all people, those who can or cannot bare children, should consider adoption. Likewise, those who cannot bare children should not feel guilted into adoption if they are not moved to do so.
@@Myraisins1 no one said it was a job. Adoption is an option.
Women dying emotionaly to have kids and other women have 5& 6 kids unable to take care of them no one help them. Children don't make you happy. You have to find joy in living and be at peace.✌✌✌❤❤❤
What if the man wasn’t sterile? Would he have stood by his wife?
Criss O I don’t think so
Nope!
I believe he would have...because he had the courage to say the unspeakable to his mother that he, "the man" is the reason why they're not able to have children, while some ignorant men in his position would have been in denial to side with his to cast the blame on the woman.
Tanneh Williams if his wife left him and had a child by another man, it would have been a huge disgrace to him. He would be exposed before his people- not just his mother. He had more to lose in the situation. His ego was at stake. If his wife was the problem, trust and believe that he would find another woman to at least prove his manhood. He would have been backed by his religion which states a man can take four wives, his culture, and his family. Having his wife around covers his shame. I’m not saying that he doesn’t love her but here is a sad truth, men love themselves more.
@@crissoa I see your point too, but come on he announced he was sterile in front of a court, probably with spectators that were ready to taunt his wife for being a childless "witch" as his mother had accused her of. He could have taken the easy way out and say yeah mom she whatever you say she is to make himself look good, but he might just be one of the few informed men in such grossly uninformed society.
This was very powerful. I knew that in some societies, having a child was paramount, but I did not realize how much pressure some women faced to accomplish that goal. Bless those husbands who stood by their wives, and bless those poor women who want children, but cannot conceive them.
You can want a child, but they need to think about the reason they want one.
Do they want to have children to please a role society has placed upon them?
And shit like that.
"Same hre in my country' Philippines if you gt old without having your own child some people wll looked at you like you're the most unlucky person cause of not having a child.
Angel Eyes well said
May God bless us Barren women 👏🏾
No woman is barren sis the Bible says the is no barrenness in the land
Quin Bokwe1 True that Mam,We pray & wait but can never brush off the emptiness inside.
Life without kids is better if you know what to do with it
Hugs & love. May He grant you the desires of your heart and peace as you wait.
Their language sounds so beautiful
Fathimah Quraishe 😕 I thought it was a west African language. Africans NEED to speak THEIR languages. Many people in east Africa speak Swahili and brings the people together. The majority language in areas in west Africa need to be spoken instead of colonial language.
@Fathimah Quraishe liar. They are speaking hausa
@Fathimah Quraishe colonization is not the topic and only a few spoke French in the video
@@kap5571 they are speaking Hausa. It's a West African language. With a bit of French added in.
They are speaking French and Hausa. The narration is in French, some of the conversations are in hausa
I love that the older lady who never had any children had a bunch of cats. I guess some things are universal.
Their beauty is too distracting 💜
Beautiful and informative documentary ♥️♥️
She just gave birth without so much as a cry. I’m so shocked.
Having children, especially in an overpopulated country, shouldn’t be stigmatized or looked down upon.
I loved this, especially her closing reflection.
A lot of the times it’s not the women who is infertile but the man with super low levels of testosterone and super low sperm count
And unfortunately many people can't financially afford sperm/egg donors.
PurpleQueenSloth yes that is very unfortunate. And I hope couples who have this issue do look into other options like adopting children who need loving homes
I find people who dont have kids generally age better than people with kids.
They're gorgeous
Wow.. I didn't even realise it ending.. I wish it went on longer.
I wasn’t prepared to see a woman giving birth right at the start... life is beautiful and all but I was in the middle of eating and mentally wasn’t ready. Great video though!
This is very informative and the sad reality women go through
Wow. Great piece
Beautiful clip !
These woman are so beautiful, God bless them and give them healthy children.
The point is they don't need to have children.
❤️❤️❤️ this touches my soul!
May God make it easy for you my sisters.
💌🙏
Dam, that was beautiful. Thank you so much for the documentary.
I too was fated with infertility. I felt incomplete, and was raised to believe that women were put on this earth to procreate. I was resigned to the harsh reality that I would never experience childbirth or know the previous bond between mother and newborn. In a cruel twist of fate, my niece passed away suddenly and left her two small babies. I became their mother and in an instant all of our lives changed. "Our" babies were only 3 yrs and 16 months old at the time. The unconditional love between a mother and child is priceless. To all my fellow women warriors, know you are not alone...🙏💕
Can I just say that I love our narrator not only is she beautiful and smart but so eloquent as well
what a beautiful story.
wakenya oyeee
Magnificique 😍💖💕😭
Powerful.
What’s the title of the music at the end of the clip?
Being mom that doesn't mean you have to give birth.. Motherhood are in the nature of women.. Don't worry there's lot of children need mother's.. Pls adopt them.. Give them a good life.
The colors and the women are all so beautiful. And in love the stories of the men who stuck with them despite the pressure to leave
Who is cutting onions??? making my eyes watery.
This video was very emotional and very informative! Thank you for posting this. It’s very sad that a lot of the world’s problems are pushed onto women-we have barely taken time to reexamine who holds responsibility for which issues. Like the doctor said, it takes 2 people to get pregnant. Feminism is still very much needed in many countries around the world.
6:34
Off-topic, but it’s interesting how she says “mssmssmss” to get the cat’s attention, but most people I’ve known say “psspsspss”! :O
Yes! I noticed that too... with the cat
i noticed that too...haha
That's how we call out to cats, I've never heard of psspsspss before until now
A uterus is not an obligation.
Fukthis shit Preach it! Preach the truth!
One could always take care of all the unwanted children who dream about being loved and nurtured
I know what you are going through and feel. God knows how much it hurts.
I’m 25 and childless. My BIGGEST fear is that I won’t be able to have at least one biological child. I would love to adopt as well
You are still very young so do not fear. One thing that is important is faith, that 100% indestructible faith that one day you will have a child of your own, will definitely bring one into your life. Many blessings ❤
it is cruel to bring a kid into the world knowing that it will experience suffering and death, it is selfish to bring them into the world
J'ai été touchée mais aussi blessée pour elle, en tant que femme
what’s the song in the beginning ? it’s so beautiful ❤️
Great content...just wondering if anyone knows the the artist and name of the music that played at the end of video
Good grief. Has anyone looked around lately? This isn't the best world we're living in, seeing your child navigate it can break your heart in a way that's indescribable. Leave these women alone.. the music at the end is dope though
Hommage à Mon cher frère Aminou Boukary Tchimboussou qui nous a fait découvrir ce film
Interesting newsreel
Well I'm 35 now... No kids.. And I wonder if people are now talking about me! People really have hurtful comments but who are they?
Coming from an African culture where a woman's value is determined by the children she brings to life... Well I guess I'm considered less than...they will talk I know, but God is God
@S. Holliday Yep. Life is hard enough.
You are you, not less or more.Live like you want...it's your life, not theirs.Stay safe and happy.☺️
I can't get over how beautiful she is. Like her skin colour is just wow. 🤯
OMG she looks like a doll 0:01
This was deep.
Infertility is a problem that affects both couples, we need to start challenging these ideas of guilt and shame of women. So heart breaking to see these stories.
What I struggle most with is how we put culture over religion. These women are Muslim (from what I can see) and Islam believes that Allah has your destiny written out, so why are women blamed for infertility. Be brave enough to blame God and see where that gets you. 🙄
Beautiful women both young and old.
I have a little girl, best thing to happen to me, i feel complete as a person but if someone doesn't have children,please know you are enough,you are wonderful just the way you are and what you have already !
My sisters in this clip are so beautiful....melanin queens.
Which country is the narrator from? Why does it remain unmentioned? Or did I miss it?
Wow very powerful video
I'm not a plant, just a woman who decided not to get kids. That's neither good nor bad, just my life.
Merci Aicha pour cette video. Il y a beaucoup des femmes partout en Afrique avec cette probleme qui vont profiter de cette message.👍👍
Courage mes sœurs
GOD bless Africa motherland
Does anyone know that name of the music during the credits?
It is a very difficult to be unable to have children,
A uterus is not an obligation.
Not that difficult.
not at all, as a woman, love it
I pray that god give you your own children just pray to him and believe my dear
Wow! All the women are stunning, such natural beauty, they could all model. Wishing them happiness!
In mine and my husband's culture it is seen as mandatory that you have kids and if you can't have them then you have kids with people outside of your marriage. Thankfully we live in America and our families have mostly accepted that we aren't going to have kids. We both have fertility issues but everyone tried to just blame me, especially when we visited his country; I pretty much fell in love with him all over again when he would stand up for me and set people straight that it was us both and that you can have a happy marriage without kids.
I live in America but I am also African and a francophone *i speak french* and I just love how their French has an “Arabic” accent to it ☺️ cause it’s so different from mine and I love different
If you can't afford to have children, then don't! I have been watching those children die everyday because they have no food.
If you can't feed them, don't breed them.
Contraceptives and a little education goes a long way.
This should've been longer.
Grateful that I come from a family where both sides have long history of married and unmarried men and women; and grandparents and aunties and uncles with and without children. Do your best with what you have and love as you pray for what you wish.
Love from Kenya to all women who are expectant, mothers, this longing for a child - mothers in waiting & to all & those childless by choice you are amazing! Strength on your journey ❤️
What s the name of the song?
Which country is this?
What country is it. Am from Southern Africa .
This story parallels my experience: I had a child from a previous relationship. Two years after marriage, we remained childless. My husband and his family blamed me. I was taunted and insulted by my husband.
After suffering thru several painful and expensive tests, no problems were revealed.
Finally the doctor decided to include my husband in the investigation into our infertility. A simple pleasurable test later revealed that he was the problem.
I would have left that family. You deserve better.
Sometimes God will use other women to bring your child into this world,please do not be afraid to adopt ,wishing all those women peace ,love and happiness and EQUALITY
there is no such thing as god and many women don't want kids and don't won't to adopt
When i was young i was told i couldn't have kids,if i did i couldn't carrey for 9months. 1 of my tubes is closed, i could still have periods and everything. And come to found out other women in my mom family cant have kids or its really hard. I went to a doctor a Emory i 4got his name, he was so nice to us.never judge me or try to tell me i was to young to have kids.even though i was making sure i could. When i met my husband i told him my problem. He promised me he was going to give me child.or we was thinking about adoption .i cried for years was depressed then on feb the 25 i found out i was pregnant almost 2 months .i took the test didn't believe it went to urgent care still didn't believe it went to the doctor they confirmed it. Now i have not 1 but a year and a month apart😄😄😄😄 God is good
Your beautiful my sister 💞💞
Patriarchy is such an ugly mess in general but especiallyin places like thar. The poor women who have to live like that.
❤️❤️❤️