Being childfree by choice: five women on why they decided not to have kids
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- čas přidán 6. 07. 2020
- As part of the Guardian's Childfree series, five women discuss why having children isn't for them - and how others perceive them as a result. 'There's no wrong way to be a woman,' says Sabrina, 25.
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What if their moms didn't have them lol?
Guardian make a part 2 of this series maybe like 30 years down the line and we'll see.
The Guardian this is not accurate as people are not honest and you just want to make it sound so ok and normal there’s a lot more going on in a woman’s mind that’s decided I don’t want kids. But comes home to several cats and teddy bears.
The more childfree people of all ages share their experiences, the more the myths surrounding the childfree lifestyle will dispel. There are those who don’t want to believe or hear anything a childfree person has to say, but for any who are curious, there is a vibrant community.
@@paulgibbons2320 yeah , and that s what all co v i d 19 is about!!!
Please pose this same question to men. Would love to see that b/c it's not a unique issue to women (maybe a few different nuances of course) but same endpoint...no kids. Thanks. If you already have, please post that video.
Let’s be real: if ppl were more honest about not wanting children, there would be a lot less neglected or abused kids in the world.
THIS THIS THIS !!!!!
And less population
if ppl would be more educated and actually careful about how to avoid pregnancy
True
I don’t fully understand the correlation.
Let's be real a lot of parents aren't really parents even though they have kids
THIS.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
April Chow-chee words of truth, right there
Touche!
TRUTH
When one of the women said ' it's important for me to have a man who cares about me being me and not what I can produce for him ' I felt that
And maybe she also do the same if that same man decides to have one with her.
But a man wants to have his own progeny. You do realize that these women fell for feminist agenda
@@harrisn3693
Not true. I’m a man who would only date a person who doesn’t want children.
As long as you see him in the same light
@@harrisn3693 the man I'm currently with ended his previous relationship because SHE wanted kids and he doesn't. There's plenty men and women who don't want kids but society tries to shame us
As a dude who doesn’t want kids, it’s refreshing to know that there’s actually women out there who feel the same way as I do.
It’s also refreshing to know there’s men out there who don’t. So ditto dude
I never thought there are men who don't wanna have kids . Thank you for existing dude❤
@@_Reize_Way more men don't want kids than you could ever imagine. I would say around 30% in America whilst worldwide it might be 15%.
@@_Reize_67% of men are childless compared to females-34%
I’m the same. A man who doesn’t want kids. In fact, I just realized that I just surpassed the age my dad was when I was born. Best ya there, dad! 😎
Selfish is having children you know you can't take care of.
Don't think it's selfish - all that work, stress and worry
@@yingyang1008 Is irrelevant because people still constantly have children for selfish reasons.
@@cassandra9581 How is it selfish to want a family?
It's what the vast majority of humans want to do and is very hard work, you literally give your life to a other out of love
@@yingyang1008 I didn't say it was selfish to want a family... I said people still have children for selfish reasons, I didn't say everyone does.
exactlyyyyy
Having children is a personal choice, and nobody’s business but yours.
This mindset is the main problem. Nobody seems to think from the perspective of the child, only themselves and how they are benefitted by having a baby.
@@member968 the child doesn't exist yet so why does it matter?
@@member968 Judging on how the world is, right now, how would it benefit a child to be born?
Jason Martin the problem that many people overlook is that a child isn’t there before conception. So before conception, only the parents are there to be benefitted. So fundamentally a child cannot benefit from being born, regardless of the state of the world.
There are consequences ...... I would agree with you if those consequences didn't affect me
My mother to!d me that having kids prevented her from living her life. She told me when you have kids your life ends. Needless to say I've never had kids. I don't regret it and I appreciate my mom's truth.
Respect to your mom👍 I wish mine was like yours
What a terrible mom, she basically didnt want you in her life…. If she could stuff you back in, she would💀
@@fjordbear3050 She didn't want him but still loved him enough if she didn't want him to repeat her mistakes
She lied to you
3.9333333333333333333333333333333
I'm 62...I've heard it all. You're selfish, you'll die alone, what about your legacy? I opted for serving my country in the military rather than motherhood. My legacy? Their freedom... that is my legacy as a veteran. Try calling a veteran selfish. I will spend my declining years alone in a nursing home with all the moms out there whose kids are too busy to visit.
I have a great respect for anyone who puts on the uniform with pride and honor for their country.
"My legacy? Their freedom... that is my legacy as a veteran. Try calling a veteran selfish"
Females are out of harms way.
"I opted for serving my country in the military rather than motherhood."
You would have been more useful as a mother of 2+ children. Without an adequate birthrate, there is nothing to protect
@@GK-op4oc are you like actually fcking slow?
@@GK-op4oc
With over 8 billion people on the planet, there won’t be any life at all. Not having children at this time is more important.
I think it’s pretty selfish to want to have kids as a retirement plan.
True and there’s no guarantee that they will be there for you when your old.
Very true
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾this
Or as your caregiver in your senior years. I’ve been asked sssoooo many times.... “well who’s going to take care is your when your old?”
I’m like- yeah that’s a terrible reason to have kids.
Save up for your senior care.... it’s selfish to expect your children to be your caregivers and do nothing to plan for your own care.
That's exactly what happened to me!
It's funny that this is even controversial.
It's just women oppressing each other and themselves edit: I hate that so many people liked this comment lol
its not women just wanna complain
It's controversial because child free women are just told they'll come around to it, change their minds, regret not having kids, etc. Several doctors also refuse to perform sterilization surgery for the same reasons. Women aren't complaining just to complain. They want their wishes to be taken seriously.
@@kkurova9345 It's old men. It's almost always old men getting into women's business trying to control everything.
I will not see your reply. I think you misunderstand my post. I'm talking about the people who make it controversial because they're appalled by the mere fact that a woman can choose not to have children.
That's
Fucking Hilarious
“The thing about regret is.. you don’t regret what you don’t want to do” Absolutely love this!
I loved that line too!!!
@@elzbietamiet1635 3.8333333333333333333333333333333
@@elzbietamiet1635 3.8444444444444444444444444444444
@@elzbietamiet1635 3.8555555555555555555555555555555
@@elzbietamiet1635 3.8666666666666666666666666666666
As a man who also doesn’t want to be parent, you all have my respect for being voluntarily childless.
Having kids isn’t for everyone and that is 100% ok.
Right, even though I'm kind of in between on whether or not I want kids. At 21 years old, I'm already mostly in the position and decision of not wanting kids at all.
True. :)
Would you adopt a baby like Moses?
Plus it's not like the human race will go extinct anytime soon.
lolcano234 i think that anyone over the age of 18 is fully capable of making their own decisions:)
The world would be a better place if adults who don’t want children or feel like they would not be good parents, would just not have any.
True a lot of people do it out of being selfish. Lack of control or responsibility AND some actually do it because they look at kids as accessories.
People are not educated enough to even think of that
amen
Str8 fax
Yeah true
Interesting! I never met other women who felt like I do. I'm 71 now and never wanted kids and still no regrets.
Omgg its so cool to see someone older than me who doesn't have kids cause people always tell me "i'm too young to know that" or "i'll obviously change my mind when i'm older" which sucks hearing
@@bleubbyGET OFF MY PROPERTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
63 no kids, no regrets
@@Hibiscus123 Kells and windmills and Shay Mccay dark wood cabinets above where there's oil and grease on the high school chemistry lab table leading to lots some complaints from classmates about that all in the different room across the hall you go in and sit down one day.
Next, trip to Andover for music competition in 2 days but then when you're on the bus and when it's a bit dark at six in the morning to go there, and hear the noise while going fast, it reminds you of compounds of the oil and orangish red grease from food
@@Hibiscus123 Would you consider leaving on a red cloth regular table lamp in the bedroom and a tubular vintage oval bulb desk lamp in the office, and seeing which type of bulb burns out first after a while, "doing an experiment" ?
"Embracing childfreedom, I'm investing in my future, not a nursery. No diaper changes, just dividend checks. I'm swapping playgrounds for portfolios and nursery rhymes for ROI. My financial freedom is my happy ending, and the market is my playground. Childfree by choice, wealthy by design."
I agree with you and I believe that the secret to financial stability is having the right investment ideas to enable you earn more money, I don’t know who agrees with me but either way I recommend either real estate or bitcoin and stocks.
I invested 10k in Robin hood and 401k about a year ago and it steadily went down, now my portfolio is down to $800. I don't know what to do and i am in between jobs
@@face2lune Understanding your financial needs and making effective decisions is very essential. If I could advise you, you should seek the help of a financial advisor. For the record, working with one has been the best for my finances.
@@AllisonSherman657 I’m Glad i stumbled on this. Please, if its not too much of a hassle for you, can you drop the details of the CFP that assisted you and how to get in touch......
@@face2lune I get guidance from *Susan Tori Davis* Most likely, the internet should have her basic info..
PSA: YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT A RETIREMENT PLAN
Yes they are, if a child cost 500k each then it’s going to be in my investments portfolio or it’s a failure of a investment
@Oat Meal you won't get that love, affection , unconditional instincts etc
@saket adarsh you get to sleep, you're not at risk of having any complications/don't have to deal with the problems of being pregnant, you have more money, you will have more time for your friends and/or partner who will also give you love, you don't have to worry about being a bad parent and raising/teaching the kid, it won't be loud all the time, ...
Children literally pay into the older generation's social security
@@mo.ka.9661 And that shouldn't be your only reason to have a child, they're humans.
I don’t want children because I’m not able to take care of my own mentality, and I don’t want to risk breaking my own child’s mentality.
You're life!
T Martin thank you!
This comment
👍👍👍
TF is dat name doh dag
The fact that some men feel so enraged by women who choose themselves is pathetic
They just want control over us. Men still barely help out with the kids if they don’t completely abandon thier family completely and then try to shame women who refuse to make the sacrifices they never make either.
@@danidiaz2377It’s not “helping out with the kids” it’s doing his part as a father, helping implies it’s not something he has to do.
Hey come on I'm a man and I don't want kids either, I respect and support all women who choose not to have kids, and both men and women shouldn't be pressured into having kids by their partners.
Stop projecting, most of the criticisms come from women, as explained by the women in the video 🙃
How can you be selfish to a child that doesn’t exist?
That's what I told my sister years ago when she said I was being selfish
I don't think that's what they mean.
I’m struggling to wrap my head around how not having a child is selfish. I can’t think of a genuine reason. Someone enlighten me.
@@Emmatriaaa Selfish = You are not altering your life in a way that makes me feel better about my own life choices.
@@anonmouse15 haha so true, well said.
every child should have a parent, but not every parent should have a child
Yokubō amen 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I have 2 fur babies.
i think every child should have a parent but not every person should be a parent will be more suitable. Cause there are parents who no longer have a child
FACTS!!!
To be a parent means u have a child-
A woman shouldn’t have to explain why she doesn’t want to have children. Your body. Your choice. Your life. Your path.
I'm more and more respectful of that choice now, especially if a primary driver for people is the improvement of the current state of the world.
Yea let's all have fun in this beautiful western civilization. Children? Who needs that problems!
F*** yeah! I agree.
Soooooo it's a selfish decision...?
I really wish it would be that easy...It would be if you would live in a jungle or a desert , but unfortunately we live in a judgemental society.
Having kids just costs way too much money, the end.
@Patrick Greatest and Best of best For both married and single parents kids cost way too much money too.
Agreed
Normally you end up getting the " you're just bad a managing money " line from people.
Not all of it. But definitely a big factor.
“You don’t become a real woman till you become a mom” that is the dumbest, most heartbreaking, most ignorant thing I heard someone say to my friend and I when we said that we don’t want children. Never justify your reasons, it’s your life and YOUR body. You’re not any less than a woman if you don’t conceive 🌸
i think they forget about the women who want kids and can’t conceive too. we’re all REAL women 💕💕
That is NOT a friend.
That is society marginalizing women. Quite like a real man will do XYZ.
@@carnivoroussarahThey said they heard someone say it to their friend.
I am considering being child free. I do believe becoming a mother unleashes something new naturally. But I don't see myself as disadvantaged if I choose to be child free.
People popping out kids to fill an emotional void and then tell childfree people we're selfish. The irony! (imagine your kid with cancer, that's the risk you take)
True.🔥
children are an attachment. And attachment is sadness
exactly!
Couples don't pop out kids to fill an emotional void, they have babies to fulfill a dream of having a large family.
@@patricksaxon3983 at times it is due to an emotional void, 50 -66 percent of parents have emotional issues, many direct to kids to fill that void.
Calling people who don't want children "selfish" is the most absurd thing of all. Bringing unwanted children into the world, that's what's truly selfish.
Heck, depending on the motivation, the act of bringing a child to the world *is* selfish.
how is it selfish
@@kiwi.1243 a child does not ask to be brought into the world, it is a decision made by the parents' based on a want. They *want* to pass on their genes, they *want* to raise a new human being, they *want* to conform to societal norms, etc. The child, of course, has no say in this decision.
Yeah, that's something I definitely agree wholeheartedly. I never wished to be born and yet here I am writing this comment. 😆
@@kaptenlemper very true. Not to mention the issues such as overpopulation, etc.
Im 27 years old and since I was 16 I decided that I did not want to be a mother and everyone tells me that I’m a self entitled brat and that I’m being selfish. Childbirth is very painful and it’s something that can cost you your life and that is what is truly selfish because you can’t force someone to practically put there lives at risk. I’m glad to see more and more men and women that agree and support others that want to live a child free life.
Vaccine is to 20th booster
As
Being maskless and unvaccinated is to catching co...
.. Wait what??? You tricked me!!!!
Nothing says selfless like demanding that others have unwanted children against their will to make the accuser feel better about their own choices!
@@gleelights9525 I'm trans. I want to nurse Justin Bieber's babies.
As a mother of 3 I can’t blame anyone for not wanting to have kids.
Having a kid to not be lonely is probably the worst decision ever.
Yeah like go and make some friends, lol. There is 0 guarantee that kid will even like you, let alone be there and support you in old age.
@@mrjoe9545 selfish like few other things and nobody guarantees you the kid will look after you.
No way!
Having a child to save a marriage is even worse
THIS IS A WHOLE TOPIC THAT NEEDS TO BE DISCUSSED!!!!!!
To anyone reading this message: If you are not absolutely certain that you want to have kids...PLEASE DO NOT HAVE KIDS! Every child deserves to be wanted.
No Cap
Facts!!
Yes, Tony! I agree.
Yes
YOU cannot force peple to not have kids geez
I'm 41 and not a mother by choice. I've been called selfish many, many times. I've been told that my life would be pointless, that no one would take care of me when I'm old...like nursing homes are bursting with thankful sons and daughters 24/7. I realized that NOT having the desire was the #1 indicator. I'm proud if my choice, I honestly do not care what people tell me anymore. My happiness depends on something else.
41 childfree man here. All the best. We’re making the right choice for ourselves. 😎🍻
I’m a 60 year old and happily married for 40 years and I didn’t had kids by choice. No regrets 😊
I think the partner they want to be with is more important. Like if they wanted to have kids and they was with a partner who couldn't have kids or didin't want kids. Some people would stay with the partner and go with out kids
Why are people mad about some women not wanting to have children. The world is getting overpopulated anyways. Some people not wanting to have kids is not a crime.
YEAH
Explain to me how the world is overpopulated?
Even if the world wasn’t overpopulated though it’s still the woman’s choice and absolute madness that it needs to be justified
Fall7Standup8 Chosen The world is overpopulated relatively to the ressources that we have left. There are too many people for not enough food, water etc. Mainly because of the overconsumption in industrialized countries and overuse of natural ressources for profit.
Scientists predict that sooner or later, even in the richest parts of the world, there won’t be enough food and water for everybody. Some even say that the future generations will never know what it’s like eating some of the things we eat today like fish for example.
@@Darksecret_23 You're in this comment section, so you obviously have access to the internet. Go do your due diligence and look it up for your self.
I'm 61, never had kids and have zero regrets.
You’re a smart lady, I bet you’re so much happier. I’m following your footsteps and I’m 20!
@@shridhark6819 what? 😐
@@asheru9254 I'm 37. Married 19 years. One cat. Two dogs. No kids.
Since you're wanting to compare animals here. I seen a kid take a dump on the living room floor.
Having kids and animals is messy. There's no difference. Animals are easier to care for than a human.
@Ooki Cooki Ok buddy.
Why do you look like someone I know
Vasectomy is the best decision I've ever made.
*”You don’t regret not doing what you don’t want to do”* 👏
Would you consider leaving on 2 tables lamps with 2 different types of bulbs and seeing which lamp burns out first, how long it takes for each one, and why, a type of science experiment? ??
@@hello-sz7hp be gone kid.
@@MarxMuruess are ess
I hate "but who is going to take care of you when you're old?". That's what's really selfish to me. Your children deserve to have a life of their own. What if they want to move to the other side of the world? There are other ways to prevent loneliness.
THIS
Right. Not to mention if they saved their money instead of having kids they don't have to worry about being taken care of when they're old.
@@Vivian-oq5wz Oh yes. I've seen it too.
Exactly 👏
My grandma is at her 80's we don't even take care of her she just lives
Having no children is better than being a bad parent.
Have a child because you "want" one, not because you "can".
I agree.
But also make sure that you can support a child even when you want one :)
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
@@casstsj 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
would you rather be dead or have a bad parent?
There were hundreds of years when "non-behaving", authentic, beautiful, smart and individualistic women would be burned alive. Since then the mindset of most people hasn't changed much. They would love to see us childfree women burn again because they themselves never had the guts to stick to their own believes and principals and burst out of anger and jealousy.
Would you consider leaving on a red lamp in the bedroom and an oval light in the office and seeing which burns out first after a longtime, doing an experiment?
@@redredred8408 I have seen you and your alt accounts do this for the past year. Why do you spend your time 24/7 just trying to be wise/funny and not do something else?
Please take your meds .
"Not having kids is selfish."
To who? The kids?
The chemicals in the chemistry lab.
@@yellowyellowyellow7894 hush kid.
@@yellowyellowyellow7894those aren't people
Regret of having kids would be way worse than regret of not having kids.
Exactly. Thank you.
This. All over.
You actually wouldn't know that because its impossible to experience both in one lifetime
NamesIWantAreInvalid they are not saying it because of the actual feeling, they are referring to the fact that regretting having children actually affects your child, in ways that can be very damaging. if you regret not having children, it would be a terrible feeling but it wouldn’t affect another human being for the rest of their lives. plus, if you change your mind about kids, you could always adopt, but if you children you can never undo that.
NamesIWantAreInvalid yeah you could regret not having kids at a certain point and then eventually have kids and regret it
I am 46. No kids. Like kids but not for me full time. Will never regret this decision. Ever.
You go girl, I respect that
Me too I'm 48 no kids I'm v pleased I never had one
Sammy d that was really rude and unnecessary for you say hun
@@sammyd3577 If you cannot communicate without throwing insults and using mean words, you're a bully.
@@sammyd3577 you don't have a wife, let alone a girlfriend, do you ?
Being child free is selflove not heartless
Chosing to not have kids is so far from being selfish. For me i feel the world is over populated and there are so many children in care who need a family. I dont want to birth my own child but would love to adopt, and have known that since a teenager.
Wanting a kid because you want somebody to take care of you when you're old, is SELFISH
Ironically when children are adults they don’t even visit their parents in nursing homes 🥴
@@Pink_pr1ncess yeah and when they pass the siblings fight over money 😂.
Like anyone actually does that.
@@David-qk7lc 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😆
... and it's also presumptuous.
Most people shouldn’t have kids. Yet they do. Too many actually. That’s the biggest tragedy in the world.
The real tragedy is that our society makes children look like objects, we all have been kids once and having to see that an innocent creature is deemed as a tragedy is absolutely bad to say.
Keystone_XONE I think what the person is trying to say is that there I many people in the world that are having kids but don’t care to take the responsibility of having one, and then the kid ends up not having the proper care. It’s not the child itself that’s the tragedy, but’s it’s the suffering the kids has to go through when being taken care of by irresponsible people/parents that are having kids when they shouldn’t be that’s the tragedy
LaVeNdEr LoVeR thank you! Children are not the Problem, but people who procreate are.
i don't mind, kids are beautiful.
I love how we are discussing this on a deep level before I think people didnt think about it but now because of social media we can be honest
The suffering and the stress of living in this world made me make this decision my generation ends with me.
You are wiser than most.
Now is the best most comfortable time in human History believe it or not, stress of living lol get real, life will always have stress and discomfort
@@LutherusPXCsand meaningless
They are smart for not having kids.
Which lightbulb burns out first?
@@brownbrownbrown2938 What do you mean?
In this economy? Yeah that checks out
The chemicals in the chemistry lab
I don’t understand how people go on about how painful childbirth is and what a complete struggle and sacrifice raising children is but judge people for not wanting it.
@@jamesedwards366 you sound really happy yourself and not at all judgemental. It's probably all those kids you had.
James Gillings typically ‘Karens’ are stay at home mothers and housewives of a certain generation that feel so bitter about not having their own career because they spent most of their lives cleaning up after their kids that they take their issues out on strangers and act as a ‘Karen’ as a cry for attention. Having kids does not guarantee that you won’t be lonely- your kids may not be in your life if they choose so. Grow up.
Ellen W I think a lot of the people have trouble understanding that their opinions and feelings aren’t universal facts for everyone.
Yeah but you have never carried a child I’m guessing soooo you’ll never understand. It’s worth it.
James Gillings I agree.
Just because you have a child DOES NOT MEAN you automatically become an amazing put-together person.
Say it louder for the people in the back. Some people just should not have kids.
I guess people automatically forget that there are orphans and children in foster care.
They just conveniently forget about abusive parents or children growing up in poverty.
The wilful ignorance is a bit disgusting, quite frankly.
TRUE. Lots of irresponsible parents out there
Children are destructive forces of chaos that makes life harder... but I still want one.
My hubby wants kids (we are 25 and 27) but as much as I love him, he is not ready. We fight over splitting bills or that he has a lot of savings and I have not and I think he does not see how a baby is very expensive and involves a lot of financial decisions. I also feel like I am not ready for kids at all. I want to travel the world and a child would ruin my plans. Covid made it even worse as I have a bucket list I want to do before even considering kids and I already am way behind and now travelling has been impossible for almost a year and it does not get better.
Childfree today, childfree tomorrow, childfree forever ✊🏻 dont let kids ruin your freedom gals.
I say the same to men. A lot of us are childfree too. 😎🍻
@Asimpnamednutsack
Still having trouble with “your” and “you’re?” Keep at it, honey. 😋
@Asimpnamednutsack
Better. Now tell us how that makes any difference. 😘
how shallow and patheric
@@AliciaGonzalez-pk3mw How is that toxic?
For those who think I'm selfish for not having kids: if you agree to take complete responsibility for all those unwanted babies out there, I'll bring life into the world! Enjoy!
i agree jennifer sheppard i dont want kids too and i made that choice over 20 years ago and in 42 years old.
No one EVER asks a man why he doesn't want kids
I think it's because men have more time to decide than women. If a woman wants to have one she needs to get cracking at it by the time She is in her late 30s to early 40s. Men can usually wait until their 50s or 60s before the possibility of issues.
They definitely will if he's married. But even single women get this question from people.
The only time it's a reasonable question is from a romantic or prospective romantic partner, because that's a necessary conversation. But jeezus the random old ladies asking about this gah!
because you're looking for a double standard that doesn't exist, women have always been valued and protected for their ability to produce kids
why do you think it's more tragic when a woman dies than a man?
WILL dude it’s not more tragic for a woman to die then a man. That’s completely subjective. Men really want oppression points so bad. 😂
In my opinion it's a bigger sacrifice to become a mother than a father... a sacrifice with your body and mental health.. there is this thing called postpartum depression.. at the end of the day mainly the mother is the one who takes care of the baby/kid.. her life could completely change and there's not much of a free time.. her days are occupied with it while the father still goes to work and has time on their own etc
People forget that their children are actual humans that will grow up into a completely unique individual, and not just decorative pieces.
Yeah, most people see kids as babies, and then complain when they discover that their children are not an extension of themselves and can’t govern their life .OH, and the best , they shame people that don’t want kids for not choosing the same ..it is a validation of choices I think
A lot of people unfortunately want a project, protégé, mini-me. but it just doesnt go that way.
Exactly they're raising another person to compete in the rat race , defo ending my blood line , might adopt cause I believe kids in orphanages want a family or a proper house
@@lotuswolf1518 Same, my bloodline is a failure anyway.
Yeah. They’re not a mini you. They’re different people.
Choosing not to kids is NOT selfish!😡
It’s a personal choice. People have to stop criticizing each other.
Im 34 and don’t want kids and don’t even want to date people with children. So my dating profiles say “I don’t want kids and I’m sorry but I don’t want yours either”
You're a smart woman.
Why do single fathers date
Fact's
I have the same thing on my profile as well. Do you find you still have those with children still contacting you? That's ALL I get. I put it right at the beginning of my profile and I still get fathers contacting me.
@@solointheburbs ok, I thought I was the only woman who did this. And YES, I get single fathers who contact me all the time. I'm like, "why would you even consider someone who expressly stated that she doesn't want to date someone with kids?" I totally don't get it, but maybe more videos like this will help people better understand that if we don't have kids, we don't want yours
I'm a 44 year old man, I don't have kids nor have I ever had the desire to. These women have the right to make the same decision without being shamed. A video like this shouldn't even be necessary in the 21st century.
first thank you for your respect and recognizing this as a choice for all
Amen brother. It’s real. That’s why feminism is still needed today!!! Humanitarian and feminism are one and the same truly!!!
Well said! I once got told that having a baby was my duty to society...despite the fact there are too many people in the world.
Feed me cheese This! Plus we never asked to be born so we don’t owe anything to the society
Thank you so much for seeing things from a woman’s perspective and being brave enough to be vocal about it. Lots of men are too ignorant and cowardly to do that.
I am 32 with no kids and trust me i am happy coz of this one choice I made. I never like felt that I need a child to be happy, I am just happy the way I am.
Floaters at on the border
cd hole
Women who say they don’t want kids are usually some of the best aunties/godmoms. Because they have love to give but they know it’s not what they want 24/7. It’s so many kids in the world who aren’t wanted while these women are upfront knowing this isn’t the life they want. I love it
Just because one can have children doesn't mean that one should. Not everyone is fit to be a parent.
When facing an ageing population this message is irresponsible
@@PointNemo9 The Earth is overpopulated. Bringing more children into the world is what's irresponsible.
Yeah, ask those young women when they are in their 60s. You may hear very different story.
@@jasonvolta3657 They are generally still very happy with their decision. Childfree isn't that new of a concept. There are women in their 60s and older who are perfectly happy with their choice. You don't need to have children to be happy.
@@PointNemo9 its irresponsible to bring children into world just so they could lower the median age of population.
Why do so many people take offense to childlessness? It doesn't hurt anyone.
Misery loves company. 🤷♂️
@Frank T , read the comments.
They feel like it's a personal attack on their choice to have kids, even though child free people don't care.
Yes it does, your legacy go's to the shiter.
@@gta4haterhq , legacy means nothing
Why are people still having kids? The price of everything keeps going up. Until it reverses, no kids 🤷♂️
i’m only 17 and already know i never want kids, never looked at a child and thought ‘i want one’
You are smart.
I felt that way when I was 12. I’m almost 40 and never changed my mind about that.
I was exactly the same. People kept saying 'you'll change your mind', but I never did, & I couldn't be happier!
@Asimpnamednutsack
And some of us are white men too. 😋😘
Feminism girl that's feminism's side effect
Having kids is not a life obligation, it's a personal choice, not everyone has the desire to be a parent. I sure know that my wife and I are happy with our lives without children. It's okay not to have children and there shouldn't be such a huge stigma to the subject.
Sometimes women or girls don't have a choice. . sadly. .
@Daniel Rumbacher then go make 5 kids and have fun with your new mega hectic life
Daniel Rumbacher then go have 8 and deal with 8 wardrobes, 8+ mouths to feed, 8 mfs to get ready for school, 8 mf cars, 8 mf college tuitions like bye😂😂
True I agree.. But does your wife really feel that way? I know when I was younger I didn't want children but the moment I got with my husband I knew I wanted children with him.
@@memyselfandimom Because you want children, they don't. Children are not the most important part of someone's relationship. One can have an amazing and fulfilling relationship without a need for kids. Having children drains you mentally, physically and financially. It is a decision you consciously make, you don't rush to it. And some people don't think that is important and that is totally okay.
I'm single, childfree, and happy. I cannot believe people shame women like me. Why not devote that energy to parents that abuse and neglect their children? They are more detrimental to society than ladies like us.
@James one of the women in the video literally just responded to your question.
You’re absolutely right.
@James l am 40 and l am still awating to change my mind ...
My mother gave me away at 5. She should have just aborted me -only terrible things happened after that
l3l3Cakes sorry you didn’t have a great experience. Sending you virtual hugs x
Best thing I had was finding someone who also didn't want kids, I hope to find that again.
I'm 27, I've NEVER wanted kids. Never had the mommy phase, hated baby dolls, I don't like kids (except my nephew). I love being child free.
Just want to add, the whole “mommy phase” or “biological clock” thing that people yap about… that only comes on because of social pressure.
You’re the only one who can say what is right for yourself. Don’t forget that. 😎
Does anyone else get the impression that some of the women who criticize and question others for not having children are actually doing so because they felt pressured into it, and now they feel bitter seeing a woman living a full and happy life without children?
Yes! They feel threatened because they did not have a choice or it goes against their beliefs.
YES! YES! YES! YES!
You’re absolutely correct!
There are women who hate seeing another woman progress in life because she didn’t have that opportunity to be her best in life so these type of women go around sabotaging and insulting other women whose life is different than hers.
It’s internal misogyny.
This!!!
Or even women who don’t get married, there’s women with manchildren who make fun of single women
@@God.sDaughter The mad ramblings of a scared feminist.
People: "NEVER HAVE KIDS"
Me: "oh I won't"
People: "I mean you might change your mind..."
Me: ????
Oml my mom says the exact same thing drives me crazy
My mom has 4 kids and none of us want kids just cause they made us feel like a burden all our lives
Me. Daily.
I’ve actually had this said to me before 🤦🏽♀️
Yep ... I am like really .I say to be prepared to a have kid that is completely opposite what you want out a kid.
bringing children into the world is the worst thing you can ever do, to curse someone with life.....especially with life during these precarious times.
Child free woman ..who has super duper friends..i had cancer 3 times each time my friends helped me.. in the cancer center i had married women tell me friends did more than their grown kids did. Not dying alone with cats..my friends proved to me they got my back in a crisis
When she said “It’s been important to find someone who is interested and cares about me for me and not what I can produce for him.” That’s a word!
I loved that !!! Just because we have place for caring a child in our bodies doesn't mean we are born to be incubators !
@Benghali In Platforms We are born to be so many things, from artists to scientists. I'm sorry but almost all mothers I know are misarable, on pills and some openly say they regret having children. We are not animals and civilization was build on us rejecting our biological "destiny".
Yeah. I had a boyfriend who wanted me to have his babies. I abandoned him because he was cheating me. He never loved me.
@Benghali In Platforms well, in a biological sense we born to reproduce the specie, but not at all because we have other kind of mental development compared with other animals. We are the major plague in the world, this place doesn't need more humans, the world needs to be repaired. And we aren't baby incubators, due to our mental development, a human has the capability to create and explore other kind of things. Well, being a millennial mentally is not bad, this generation is more conscientious about world.
@Benghali In Platforms I'll happily be a wine aunt then. Lol
I just wish we didn’t have to justify our decision over and over even to complete strangers
Natasel wow. People have no problem asking straight out “do you have kids”, ‘why not”. Because it’s none of their business to ask why not.
Ugh...tell me about it.
Also, I have noticed women that have kids are taken more seriously in a social gathering, their opinions are respected more, even if they are way younger n inexperienced.
You literally don’t. ‘Cause I don’t anymore. I just leave people hanging. 🤣
adoption should be encouraged from different races, this way racism and world population crisis both will be checked.
Pauline Malone you don’t 🤷🏼♀️that’s a choice too!
I love it when people who have kids tell people who don’t how fulfilled they are and that we’re missing out. It reminds me of people from high school trying to get me to invest in pyramid schemes.
It's simple. They probably do feel fulfilled is just hard to wrap ones head around the fact that not everyone is open to it. Me and my wife planned for a child. It has been an amazing experience being parents. So if the people you hear that from actually feel that way, don't take offense to it. They are blissfully ignorant to your lack of interest is all.
I’m 50. Zero regrets. I have mothered so many people in my life and taken care of so many people many lived with me. No regrets
A lot of people in these comments judge and say women who are child free will be "miserable and bitter"... Uhmm children arent magic. Ive seeb a lot of mothers being "miserable and bitter" too.
That part☝🏿
Yup some ppl think having a child is everything n den when you do its like i ruined my life.. some moms go tru post partum n hormonal issues n guess what kids dont care if ur having a mental breakdown sometimes a kid is not the best
Some people find having kids to be intensely magical. Do what's right for you.
@@richthepup kids not being magical is not my point though but sure
Heck yes every dang mom I meet is always complaining about their kids (and husbands) and its like they're so unhappy all the time. I never want that to be me!
Selfish? By not wanting to bring kids into this hellhole of a world?
I agree, I'm 38 and married. I honestly think that having kids is for selfish reasons sometimes. But not having kids is a very important and responsible thing to do.
honestly, flip the script. tell people that wanting kids is selfish, because how ethical is it really to raise a child in this world? how ethical is it to even raise a child when the only motivation is "because people wanted me to"? how ethical is it to make your own child when so many go uncared for? lots of ammo to fight back with.
I don't take that nihilist view but I do think that having kids is just as selfish. Coming from someone is considering having kids, I see nothing wrong with being "selfish", as long as it is a responsible choice.
Exactly..it is empathetic actually
Yes
Everyone has their own opinion on this topic. Wanting to be child free is not selfish. Especially if you were forced to take care of your siblings children while being a child yourself. I spent my later teen years taking care of children. And it lasted till I got in my mid 20s. I can honestly say that I am truly blessed to be child free. Life is hard, there are a lot of people who are just evil for no reason at all, bullies and all. No way would I ever want my child to go through what I went through and what I am currently experiencing. That would be unfair.
Window
I hardly have time for my own life . I don’t need kids and I hate babies .
I understand being child free and am a mum. But the hatred towards an infant is rather odd. I think that's a disturbing thought process
@@fairy12324
How so? They smell, they cry, they drool…
@@LucareonVee odd
@@fairy12324
Odd how? It’s true. 😋
@@LucareonVeetrue LAMP BOUNCE HOUSE you mean
Kudos to these ladies. There’s too many women who have kids just to conform.
@Eugene Fisher exactly and am sure these lady's have there reasons
@Eugene Fisher Or single fathers taking care of the mothers kid cause she left ..
Where are such women? America's birthrates are pretty awful. So I don't know if there are a lot of women having children.
I agree. There are too many women who have kids for selfish reasons, like wanting to pass on their genes or family name.
@@VinnyLam How is that selfish? It's better than letting your family history die out.
The people who’d better educate children prefere to have cats and dogs, while those who can’t even take care of plants are having children...
Smart people don't have nearly as many children as dumb people. Sounds like more of a smart people problem. If you really cared that much, maybe you would've had kids.
I'm sorry but that's none of their business. They shouldn't feel forced to have kids just because they'd be great parents.
It’s “the crazies” running the insane asylum.
You nailed it 👏🏽
Never underestimate less educated women for being mothers. Sometimes they are smarter, tough fighters and don't forget there are succesful person who raised by mothers who never enter school buildings.
I’ve NEVER had the need or desire to have kids. I’m 33 and want to focus on just enjoying my life and living free ❤️. It’s the best feeling ever knowing I’ll never have kids.
Being childfree is best decision i ever made.
3.0555555555555555555555555555555
I don’t want kids. Never did and never will. People don’t like that as a woman i don’t want to reproduce but for some reason, no one questions men for not wanting kids. The double standard is disgusting
Or they undermine women's choices by saying things like "oh you will someday" "oh you just haven't met the right guy yet" - listen Karen I don't want kids!!
Agreed. My wife and I decided against children years ago, and she has gotten way more grief about it than I have. Not fair.
Plenty of people also give the stink eye to men for not wanting kids. I agree that there's more pressure on women to have kids.
@@rushrush1209 Yes.
@wattlesong Everyone is not like that
My parents are teachers and SO many kids are neglected by their parents. Putting them in every club possible, bed as soon as they get home, expecting teachers to fulfil more and more of the parental role - spending as little time with them as possible. You wonder why they had children it’s very sad. Often, it is to secure a wallet but I don’t think you should have kids if you aren’t committed to loving and raising them!
I taught for ten years and this is soooo true 😤 bless your parents hard work
Absolutely agree 💯
Only white people do that lol.
Wdym “secure a wallet”?
Windflower Rainstorm Thank you ❤️
Women should never be compelled to have children but be allowed to follow their passion. Also, the world’s population is the highest it’s ever been with all the negative consequences of pollution, unaffordable housing and impact on the environment. Society’s standard of living was always higher when the population was lower.
Based
I LOOOOOOOOVE NOT WEARING A SEATBELT!!! IT IS SULULULULULULPER FUN TO NEVER WEAR A SEATBELT!!!! I LOOOOOOVE RUNNING STOP SIGNS!!
"Life has no purpose without kids" "You'll change your mind" "What will you do when you're 80?" "Not wanting children is NOT NORMAL" I hear these things every single day of my life because I have the fault that I don't want children....
Me too... ppl need to mind their own businesses.. any woman is entitled to give no explanation to such stoopid and personal questions..
Exactly, every woman doesn’t want to have kids and they’re not going to do so.
"life has no purpose without kids" - um, maybe to a BORING PERSON!
@@subtlesigns I'm stealing this dude
I do not want kids either. I get tired of hearing “oh youll change your mind”. No one says that to people who want children...
Sarah Franz they probably say that because your parents want grand babies😊 And the reason ppl don’t say “you’ll change your mind” to kids who what babies is because that’s the norm. Ppl grow up and eventually have kids🤷🏾♂️
Sarah Franz I’m with you! I just hope that since you know this, you’re taking responsibility to NOT get pregnant? That’s a choice too
Because it's a biological prerogative to reproduce
@@stardustnation2480 Im pretty sure she doesn't have to have kids if she doesn't want to . Imagine being raise by a mother that never wanted you but was forced to have you because of pressure .
@@stardustnation2480 it's more of a choice.
Some of the most abusive child hating people have kids.
Chris Watts.. rest in peace to the kids and their mother..
My mom said the most toxic words to us, but appear nice in front of her friends.. She wonders why all her children has mental health issues.
@@iamtheruraljuror9257 Just tell her friends, infront of her, what a bad mother she is. She'll probably stop being two faced then.
All those poor kids 😭
Yuuupp, my mom had 8
If I were to have a child, I would likely neglect that child, because I know I simply don’t have the capacity to raise another human being while also guiding myself through my own life. And I have no desire to do so
Rhyme chyme regulator record
I am a 37-year-old man and my wife is 40. We are a childfree couple. I am the only child in the family, my wife has an older sister who is married and they are also in a childfree marriage. We all have other life priorities, desires... We live the best lives, we like to go out, we like to travel, we like to sleep a lot, we like to spend our money on fun, luxurious things that we can afford because we don't have children, we just enjoy life. And we NEVER once wanted kids. We don't want to destroy our best lives.
I'm 66. Never regretted not having kids.
I guess your cats can keep you company.
@@MyName-cw4yr shut up
@@MyName-cw4yr
Anything wrong with that?
@@Raniambiance at 26 I had a four month period that I had where I wanted a baby. The mood passed and I wanted not to have children after that.
@@MyName-cw4yr never had cats.
"What are you gonna do when you're old and alone?"
"Whatever I want! _That's_ what I'll do!"
😂
🙁🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
She means no one will be there to take care of you.
@@neiya8862 Well, that's a valid point too I suppose. But that reason in itself sounds kind of selfish, doesn't it?
Why does everyone assume we'll be alone when we're old? Quite a few of my female friends don't want kids, so we'll just party together. I'm 19 and don't have kids, am I alone? No, I have my friends, I have my family, other people may have a significant other, children aren't the only people that count as not being alone.
Amen! Just like now! 😀
Thank you for making this. I’m a 40 yo male who remains childfree because I know when I was a kid I never wanted any.
Did you ever get hate?
@@PooppieCannibalismhopefully
@@tacoexpressSEEDEEholeeveryones Taichiroward5770 did nothing wrong 😡😡😡😡🔎😡🧼
@@tacoexpressSEEDEEholeeveryones You mean more spam by you ?
@@PooppieCannibalismpay no attention to him. He spams this comment section as a hobby
I prefer sleeping way more than having a baby
Me too😂😂
The worst alarm clock in existence. You can’t even set it to go off when you want it and the sound it makes is awful. 😉
@LucareonVee you sound like a child abuser, no surprise.
@@michaelatlas2341projection 😂
My mom keeps telling me that no man will ever want me because i dont want kids. What makes you think I would want a man that wants kids?
Don’t listen to her. You’ll get a loving caring man and you two will live happily ever after.
Besides, there's alot of men who don't want kids,so doesn't sound to smart of her,in my opinion.
Lol women with kids aren’t very logical
My mum said exactly the same! She was so wrong! My gorgeous fiancee is 15 years younger and we totally adore each other.
Lol...exactly! 🙋♀️🙂🇬🇧
Although I love kids. I have many reasons I don’t want any.
1. I plan on spending a lot of time traveling.
2. Kids are extremely expensive.
3. The majority of people with kids look worn out and unhappy.
4. Extra responsibility I don’t want.
5. I have a career that I love and don’t want kids I can’t spend enough time with.
6. The world is too messed up and evil.
7. I love my sleep and time to myself.
8. Kids put a huge strain on marriages and relationships. This is a fact.
9. In case I were to divorce, I wouldn’t want to be a single mom. This is my worst fear.
10. I just don’t have a lot of patience.
11. Childbirth looks horrifying.
Shut up
@@CloroxBleach-dy9jw aww u angry because a woman YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW doesn't want kids?
Yup
Wow, very accurate and detailed
You'll change your mind.
This world would be a much better place if people who aren't meant to be parents, don't become parents at all
Rollover byawluhjee
Everyone is meant to be a parent, in that we're all made with built-in reproductive abilities. Every part of our body is built around the facilitation of reproduction
@@grottphd9090
We have the ability of reproduction. That doesn’t necessitate the use of said ability. 😘
@@LucareonVeeyes it does
@@grottphd9090being childfree should be banned by the law. It should be a requirement to have kids