A speedbump after a long time of sleeping better? My thoughts and learnings
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- čas přidán 15. 06. 2023
- When I started finally sleeping better for months and thought that insomnia was behind me, I hit a long speedbump which was super demotivating. I talked about this in my "timeline" video: • How MY INSOMNIA recove...
And in this new video, I am sharing my personal learnings that may help some people who are going through a similar situation right now ❤️
DISCLAIMER: Not medical or psychotherapy advice. Everything on this channel represents personal opinion and experience and is provided for informational purposes only. The author is not a medical doctor, psychotherapist or any other licensed professional. Any information on this channel does not constitute or substitute medical, psychotherapy, counselling or any other professional advice and treatment. It is not intended to treat, cure, diagnose any medical or psychological condition or disorder. Always seek professional licensed help if you have any health concerns.
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I cant wait for the day i have full confidence back and not have the sleep worries in back of my mind. Most nights i sleep well but the anxiety is still there some times.
hello, I'm 40 years old and I'm from Romania, now 1 started the problems with insomnia along with some panic attacks. I'm glad I found you.
Thanks for being here, Oltean! I hope my content will bring you value on your journey ❤
Just what I needed to hear! After 4 months of sleeping well, I hit a speed bump last night. Although my confidence is much higher, I still feel like I’ve been having to “tiptoe” around the tiny little bit of fear of not sleeping or falling back into insomnia. But I feel like this video explained well what I’m feeling and going through I think it’s going to help my brain just that much more to just quit caring whether I sleep or not, because in the end, I know that I will. So thank you so much for posting this, Alina!
Thank you for you comment! I am so glad that you've been sleeping well and I totally understand the frustration from having a speedbump in a long time. Happy to hear that this video has brought some clarity!
Was your insomnia mostly onset or maintenance?
@@lillianyoukhana8451 It was onset.
This is so amazingly helpful, thank you ❤️
All you say is so true! I was doing better, even getting full nights of restful sleep and now it’s been 2 weeks of waking up in the middle of the night again, a few days I could take because “whatever, I’ll have coffee or a nap and soon I’ll sleep” but after the fatigue gets stronger I got panicked a bit, now I’m kind or resigned but still super burnout and having to work and take care of kids, and that adds to the “when will it end” mindset but as you say, it’s just important to know it will end eventually and there’s nothing to worry about
So thankful for your videos
Incredible video, thank you so much. This couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I love the way you explain things
That’s deep… and it makes a lot of sense. Thank you Alina. 🛌💤🇨🇦
So thankful I found your channel. Your videos are not only super insightful, but are bang on with what I've struggled with. And having cured my insomnia in the past using CBTi, and having gone through a speed bump myself just now after years, finding your perspective on aspects of insomnia have been exactly what I've struggled with during past speed bumps. I relate to so much if not all that you share which is a perspective CBTi doesn't provide. so your content is helping me to just build an even stronger foundation for whatever might lie ahead. so thank you for what you do.
So glad you find it helpful
I love your videos it’s so nice to no we’re not alone
Thank you!
Thanks for the video. I’m going through a rough speedbump at the moment after 6 weeks of very good and consistent sleep.
I feel you John, that can be soo frustrating! But I am so glad that you had that good stretch. I find that every speedbump highlights the areas we haven't seen through yet which gives us an opportunity to complete the journey. And sometimes those speedbumps can take quite a while. So maybe we can even see if we can give ourselves permission to let a speedbump take as long as it takes while we keep doing our thing
Hi Alina! Perfect timing of your video! I've been sleeping better since March with only a few speed bumps of only a day or two. My last speed bump was two nights ago after sleeping well for 5 weeks. Last night I slept because I was tired. Now some of the fearful insomnia thinking pattern has come back and worried about tonight and coming nights. This is very helpful as I was probably in that "management" thinking pattern. Going to watch this video a few times help me with being okay with the speed bump. - Robert
So glad to hear about you recent progress Robert! Oh and I totally get that when anxiety echo pops up that can be frustrating, yet nothing unusual from how our brains learn to feel safe
@@FearlessSleep Thanks Alina! The speedbump is still going on like an automatic process. I hope this makes me less afraid of speedbumps because the past three months of sleeping, I've had almost no sleep thoughts during the days but a little bit of worry just before bed. Hopefully this is the next step in the fear fading away that you speak about.
Thanks Alina!
Are you still struggling Hugo?
@@AMJSKATESHOP these past 5 weeks have been really good. But that is too short a time span to say anything conclusive about it. I am in a good place right now. Why did you ask?
@@hugotielen I remember you from Daniels slack forum. You had very descriptive passages about how demolishing severe chronic insomnia has been on you over the past 20 years. The last time I saw you write you said that the Dr told you that you had burnout, your adrenal glands were depleted from the insomnia (if I'm saying that correctly). You were sleeping too much. How has the past year or so been for you, that might have been longer than that ago.
Omg this is me day 5 now of 4 broken hours I send my anxiety over the edge
Hi
How many sleepless nights will the brain take to understand that there is no threat. It’s like one sleepless night adds anxiety and then another one and then another one. It’s a constant loop of anxiety. I get that the brain has to go through all these bumps but then again what if the brain gets accustomed to a stretch of sleepless nights? No matter how much one tries to befriend wakefulness, there will always be times when it gets hard and everytime it gets hard, the brain establishes a new loop. Can you either make a video on such a pattern or explain it to me because I can’t seem to figure out how it’s to be done.
There is no “right”, or “minimum” or “maximum” amount of nights to teach the brain safety. Because it is not time that heals but how fast we are able to learn that we are safe. Of course some amount of time is needed to pass for the knowledge to sink in, but we don’t have to focus on time being the only factor.
We spiral down into several sleepless nights because we not always see clearly our efforts and pressure we put on ourselves. So when we had one sleepless night and begin to act on panic, we are more likely to experience another sleepless night. And if we act on that panic too, that can keep cycle go on. Of course the sleepless stretch won’t last forever, but it’s important to recognize the fight or flight response when it begins and instead of instantly acting on it, to take a pause to observe what is actually going on and making the decisions from the place of awareness and clarity. And that’s takes practice, I also haven’t done it perfectly just by education alone. It was a learning curve for me. Hope this helps!
Hi Alina
My question to you is that acceptance comes from within. It’s just accepting your situation the way it is. However, I often feel that success stories give me a lot of hope and that hope creates a barrier between acceptance and continued efforts. How do I deal with this situation?
Hi Alina. I’m here ‘cause I’m experiencing the same thing after months of normal sleep. I noticed that brain (at least mine ahah) creates these speed bumps in two ways: either it creates associations with variations in details of your environment/daily activity (“what if I cannot sleep without the pillow?”, “what if you have to go in that new place tomorrow and you cannot sleep?”) or it fears to go back at square one (“what if I experience again the whole struggle from scratch?”). I think that both instances are connected to aspect that you’re stressing: the brain fears that I was only ‘lucky’ in the last months and so it looks for variations in pattern that may justify new struggles. What you think about it? And what’s you suggestion for this kind of associations? My first choice is to challenge them by doing the opposite of what my brain tells me (in short exposure). Is it correct or can it become a sleep effort in disguise? Thanks in advance!
Thanks for sharing this! I will include your question to the next Q&A episode!
In my case after a few nights of sleeping well it seems like my brain will start focusing on some physical ache or pain and then create anxiety around it, both of which obstruct my ability to relax and let sleep happen.
I am currently in a speed bump now. I just had a baby four months ago and it crept back in. I will sleep well for a while and have a rough night. I sometimes have to not sleep in the bed with my husband and baby. My husband has had to take care of the baby a lot of nights. This leaves me feeling extremely guilty making my anxiety worse. I am trying to just accept this and be grateful I have a beautiful life. Once I fall asleep I am good if I get woke up I can fall back asleep I have trouble with the initial falling asleep. I was having anticipation anxiety of the baby waking up and disturbing me. How do I deal with all this since my trigger is ongoing
How do I get over a speed bump if it’s far more worse than the initial insomnia? I’ve never had sleep onset issues but now I’ve been having them and I just can’t sleep. I’m panicking and my heart is racing. How do I tackle a speed bump which I haven’t experienced before?
hi! sorry to hear you are going though a struggle now. Insomnia can shift its forms from onset to maintenance and back. Educating ourselves that it is a normal part of the experience can bring some peace and clarity which can make it easier to face those speedbumps. I shared my thoughts on "the worst" speedbumps in this video, maybe you will find it helpful 🙏 czcams.com/video/zBKrElkyyHM/video.html
Hi Alina. I am far along on my recovery journey but I notice that now I am only able to sleep enough when I go to bed early. I’m unable to sleep in or adapt to changes in my sleep schedule. Do you know why this would be happening? Before insomnia I was able to fall asleep any time and wake up at any time and my body would naturally get enough sleep. I also have been going through a speed bump which has increased my anxiety before bedtime which causes me to stay up later - and therefore not get enough sleep because I can’t sleep in. Very frustrating.
Sometimes the time when we go to sleep might get associated with the struggle sleeping. We may have experienced a few nights when going to bed early was followed by better sleep and when we had to go later, we struggled more. So we naturally begin to feel pressured to make it in a "reasonable" time window.
It is called acceptability threshold - when we think that going to bed early is ok and going to bed later is not ok. But in reality of course there is no particular time that defines whether we sleep or not. Sometimes reminding yourself that you have more or less the same chance of having a peaceful night whether you go to bed at 9pm or 1am. And letting the body guide you in when it's time to rest can be helpful. Hope this makes sense!
Thank you, it really did
Hello. Did you ever take sleeping pills and if so how do you ween off of them? Thanks
Does your insomnia approach ever include sleep restriction? What are your thoughts on that CBTI approach?? So many doctors talk about it but I don’t know if that is another form of safety behaviors? Please help❤️🙏❤️🙏
Good question! I view sleep restriction as just a tool - for someone it can be helpful, for someone not. I tried it myself for a while on my journey and found it more pressure inducing so I ditched it. But I acknowledge that some might find benefit in it. But in itself it is not the only approach. I explained my thoughts on structured approaches vs flexible ones in this video: czcams.com/video/QK_ZRQBJwFg/video.html maybe you will find it helpful :)