“Love Your Enemies” - A Psychological Analysis of Jesus's Command
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- čas přidán 18. 04. 2020
- From Matthew Chapter 5, Verses 43-48, New King James Version of the New Testament: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."
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You can love your enemy but you don't have to waste pearls for swine. "Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces."
My Christian parents taught me that loving God and obeying parents were most important. There was no mention or place for self love. In fact, I didn’t know that was a thing until my early 20s.
That's awful. I didnt grow up a Christian, but when i got intersted in it that was something i liked - love my neighbour as myself - so love of myself was right. And That's also what christian monasticism taught me.
And conversely, sinning against me or against myself was bad.
Your parents were selective like that.
I now use other sources for (what i believe to be) Jesus & Mary's teachings. That's how i fond this guy in this video. But still just as strong that love of self is an important thing to learn.
"Christianity" in the US is basically a bunch of cults and individual unexamined theologies that have references to Jesus
Love yourself as well- Love your neighbour as you love yourself! It doesn't happen if you don't respect yourself first - hence love yourself in a helpful way. Then you can love others - despite trauma. With God's own love within us that makes a huge difference. You can do it on your own. But to do it through God's love received helps me enormously.
7:21 - “No one hates themself unless they were traumatized.” That was quite an eye-opener for me. I grew up in a dysfunctional household, though not physically abusive aside from the occasional spanking. My parents were constantly arguing, and my father was emotionally absent and highly critical of me. I’m middle-aged now and have hated myself for as long as I can remember. Thank you for the insight and novel approach to dealing with those feelings.
You must be from the same family as me. 🙂 No worries. The best is yet to come.
For me, spankings were actually pretty much the best outcome a lot of the time.
Constantly being treated like we didn't exist, I got too used to be told where to go.
And God said: "Love your enemy" and I obeyed him...and loved myself!
Khalil Gibran
Really he wrote this. Amazing i ll like to share this noe
I get it. The biggest enemy is sometimes yourself, lol.
My parent’s rejection killed me. As an adult, I cant willfully emote forcefully to love them. It’s not there. I can learn to love myself, and I love other people, but I can’t love my parents, sadly.
You don't need to love them you just need to fogive them and go on, because if you won't the anger towards them will smoulder for decades in your heart affecting your life.
if your parents didnt give you love you have to give it yourself: i recommend meditation everyday
Atemporal Lightning I hear you x
I believe anger can be a healthy part of healing & recovering the stamped out parts of ourselves & what we went thru/had no choice but to shoulder/absorb/internalise. To rush or bypass a rational level of anger is not helpful, imo. It’s part of grieving what was lost I believe. I also believe & have seen that forgiveness moves in naturally at a certain point.... I know I needed & still do at times need to feel angry. I also think it’s a double tragedy if someone is unable to ever move beyond anger - but who knows why that is - maybe they were never witnessed at all..maybe they never felt safe enough to acknowledge & move through their anger..
Atemporal Lightning - It's sad but it doesn't sound like a bad thing. It sounds like a natural reaction to a screwed up environment. Growing up in a situation like that, why wouldn't you feel that way? How could you love someone like that, or how could anyone if they grew up in the same situation?
Daniel Mackler, the more I listen to you, the more I'm pleased to hear your next words. Hearing your eloquent message is like coming to recognize my own self-learning without having to learn every step of it myself. Of course I need to apply it to myself. Thank you for making a safe space for me to see myself within, and to apply your message to my own wounds.
I couldn’t agree more. Ever since I started watching Daniel’s videos about a year or two ago the journey of self love became a lot more feasible. Of course we need to try to apply our own self-learning at our own times but it always welcomed to have a helping hand from other people. If that means we can reach our happiness a lot easier, then so be it. But yeah I agree that we must also do some of the work ourselves. Thank you for this message Bernadette. Hope you have a wonderful life. And thank you Daniel again.
INTRESTING point Daniel. I don't know if it's because I was traumatized as a little girl (raped,emotionally abused,psychically abused,bullied and rejected by society AND FAMILY) I am honestly in SO much pain at the moment NO ONE protected me as a kid I had to be there for myself and I am honestly SO MAD at this! Dealing with profound loneliness that is DEEP pain. I've heard religous people say that I'm lonely because all I think about is myself in my bubble which IS NOT the case. When you've been rejected by society,family, you are bound to feel loneliness. It hurts because I'm an empath and highly sensitive person and I would NEVER EVER EVER hurt anyone the way I've been hurt. And at this point I've become bitter and mad and I don't want to be I'm just tired of hurting. Also one side of me doesn't want to love my enemies ,especially a freaking rapist like what the heck?
It is a horrible place to be and the pain is physical as well as emotional. No one would expect you to love your abuser. It is difficult from that place to love yourself which is what we need to work towards to heal...but you will get there a very small step at a time. I never thought I would be able to.. but it is happening, and life is calmer and more centred than it was, step by step. Somebody I trusted who was helping me said' you wouldn't treat anyone else like that would you? Best wishes.
Its not about feeling affection for them… its about releasing your ill will. I know, we are only human… in your place i dont think i could either.
If only a million people could really watch and listen to this. There is so much healing for so many in what he says, and how he says it. Thank you, Daniel.
The Bible also states, “Be ye therefore separate from the world.” This is a reference to setting boundaries. And when it comes to loving any abusive people, my sister in-law said it best, “With some people, you got to love ‘em from a distance.” In other words, sometimes, no contact is best, for your healing... “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Loving yourself is a mandate as well. I hope this helps. Great video, God Bless you!❤️☺️
And/or in spiritual innovation?
For me loving your enemies was trying to understand why they were hurting me and losing my self awareness. I'm still trying to figure out who is an enemy. Now I practice checking in with myself and knowing when it's time to walk away from someone. I don't know if I did the right thing but what I know is I feel safe when I do. It's hard to navigate in a world when you were taught to ignore how you feel and when your boundaries weren't respected. Forgiving yourself is the key. I became self destructive because I because my worst enemy. I will practice loving the parts that tried but fell short.
My favourite channel on CZcams. I just love that you are the only one in the world who hasn’t once mentioned the banal nonsense around the C word over the last few weeks. You don’t jump on bandwagons. Your thoughts are universal and insightful always. F
Thanks FRO 😀
C word bandwagon?
@@asuka_the_void_witch corona
@@veraivakic Thx
I think that when you are in the middle of the storm, feeling hate is adaptative, very appropriate and healthy. But once you walk away from your agressors, hate is no longer useful. It seems that you believe that setting boundaries and loving someone are mutually exclusive. But I think that you can absolutely feel love toward someone and set boundaries to protect yourself at the same time. You don't need to feel hate to protect yourself. So, in short: I think that you can love your enemy. And it doesn't mean that you will accept to be treated badly.
The second command Jesus gave was love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:39. Your neighbor can be your enemy. But you do need self love to love anyone else, including your enemy. Most of us came from disfunctional homes due to lack of self love.
I just got a notification for this video, it’s a late night for me. Just wanna say: I really appreciate your content and perspective. I love listening to you speak and I could forever, haha.
Thank YOU for existing 🌻
Christianity's "Love your enemies" certainly doesn't mean "Love yourself (given that you don't because you were traumatized by actual enemies)." It's about showing God's love for everyone's intrinsic humanity, perhaps in the hopes that they are shocked by your unnatural behavior and become curious and eventually convert to your religion. But more fundamentally, it's about putting yourself last, because the last shall be first in the kingdom of heaven. It's about letting people trample on you in this life so that you have a more glorious afterlife. I believe that it's a very destructive belief that harms people in the only life that they are certain to have, all in hopes to improve a future life that they have only been promised, and for which they have never seen any evidence. I believe that it's a mechanism for religious authorities to gain control over their followers, causing followers to more or less disdain their own desires and their "sinful" earthly body and follow whatever the church leadership says. In reality, having boundaries and not letting your enemies trample on you is extremely important for building and maintaining a healthy and functional life. You must stand up for yourself. Narcissistic abusive people thrive on finding victims who don't resist or defend themselves against their tactics. Letting your enemies have their way with you and feeling self-righteous as a martyr is a weak, delusional, painful, and dysfunctional way to live. I had to learn this through hard experience as I was a very devoted Christian for the first 20 years of my life (I am now 36). Recognizing the deceptions and breaking out of the cult was perhaps the hardest thing I have ever done.
You broke of the cult and joined imaginative thor? Very wise
The love we think of in the modern day is likely not the same love that God was describing. Jesus went into the temple with a whip to throw out his enemy's- every action he took was in love because God is love.
Exactly. He kinda missed the point here. Spiritual love doesn't mean you don't have proper handling of your enemies. It just means you don't enjoy having enemies
@@stevecooper7883 thats the type of relative answer i was looking for, cus i got all day enemies that are aggressive, i still pray, forgive and biblically love them, but letting them wallk all over me doesnt seem like thats what God wants
So should we give in to our flesh, our evil inclination and beat them up? Because that's all i want to do but i know it won't fix s anything.
Loving if you have no choice isnt love. If you love them, let them go.
every time someone hurts me, attacks me, makes fun of me, hates me! i let them go.... i turn the other cheek! why you ask? because 100% of the time they will pay... i dont create reality! this is not my world! someone or something is watching it all.... and no one! i mean no one gets away with anything.. you must learn this... let the universe unfold! be good to people who hate you! bless those who curse you! and you will will see yourself! you will begin to fell sorry for those people...even death will follow them! but dont become them!...
It's really hard to want to be one way when sometimes you feel like being another. Sometimes I want to be "good" and love myself and others, but other times I just get so tired of that lifestyle not working out and I would just rather be "bad". I wish anyone who wants to try and love themselves the best of luck and the strength and patience to do so.
Jesus also promoted the Golden Rule, which implies that if you don't already love yourself you won't know how to love your neighbor.
No he didn't :)
Love your neabour as yourself simply means if you wouldn't like it done to you, don't do it to another. Another big thing here is not love yourself to love others, love thy God with all your soul, heart, and mind. That's how you love others. :)
"Love your (-self DESPITE your) enemies!"
THANK YOU for being you and for sharing your personal experiences/point of view. Your authenticity is beautiful. Love and blessings to you Daniel💜🙏🏽
I am so sorry for what you went through. And I am so thankful to you for being YOU, being real and inspiring people to cherish their uniqueness, respect their feelings, be kind to themselves, learn how to understand themselves, dare to go deeper and look at some rejected or suppressed, hidden parts in order to heal and live fully. In my life, I noticed, that I can 'love my enemies' (idk if i really have 'enemies', but i mean just people that were abusive/hostile towards me/disrespected me etc) when I love myself the way I am and God created me. When I don't accept myself and I am insecure (= my self-esteem depends on opinions of others) and critical towards myself, and someone (''enemy') happens to attack me, it hurts me deeply and I take it very personally and think: "they hate me, noone loves me, i am worthless, i have noone to protect me, nobody cares, it's all not fair etc". Their hurt becomes mine, it awakens my hurt and pain. And i feel like im drowning in despair or anger or depression or everything altogether. But when I love myself and someone attacks me, i just think "what's YOUR problem?", if they dislike me then its again not really me but something in me that triggers them because they might have been hurt. I just deal with their behavior, and many times find compassion, however, I don't feel hurt.
The point you make about loving your enemies and what it means is actually quite genious. As a Christian who has been taught what this really means, however, I can say you were indeed right about it originally not meaning the same thing you had just said. So, for us Christians, "loving your enemy" does indeed deal more with yourself rather than your said enemy, however it has a lot more to do with grudges and forgiveness. When someone has a grudge on someone, no matter the harm dealt to them -- big or small -- they hold a form of pain with them. A common quote we often use to illustrate this is, "drinking poison, wishing the other person gets sick." Essentially a grudge, the desire to wrong someone who has has wronged you, will only hurt nobody but _you_ in the long run. This means that it isn't just the right thing to do as an example, to forgive; but also beneficial for both your own physical and mental health, to forgive. Yes, it is hard, even for the most dedicated Christians, but it is indeed possible to forgive pretty much _anyone,_ especially if you remember the how's and why's of doing so.
Thus, the end of my message...... 😂
Loving your enemies does not mean letting them Hurt you. Forgive them and get the heck out of Dodge! Love others..AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF! Be considerate of them by not letting them hurt you and be considerate of yourself by not letting them hurt you. Their words cannot hurt you! It is just their opinion..Nothing in the whole scheme of things. Seek God.. within you..for His opinion!
loving yourself well for some takes a lot of observation, practice and patience! I've been saying lately that...Jesus came to re-introduce us to ourselves, to help get us back to our hearts that we got separated from b/c of trauma's inflicted on us from ppl who were also out of touch with their hearts(some actually cruel ppl who made it their mission to inflict as much shame as they could...my mother, her mother did it to me too). I just said last week in a bible study that I think the enemies are often within us! Those parts we hate about ourselves, sometimes just for lack of words to describe the feelings/fears, I think an extreme example is in split personalities, those fractured parts of ourselves. If no one affirms good qualities about you as a child you don't know who you are. It is like poetry to my ears to hear an integrated person tell what they like and what their genuine needs are...example, describing their love language, because that concept is foreign to me! like they're speaking another language, but I know there is truth there and I want to increase that awareness in my own life. The bible has many examples of self tortured ppl (demon possessed) that Jesus stopped their terror and mis-understanding in it's tracks! The lost little boy or girl in an adults body operating in the past, re-living all the traumas and remembering the confusing situations, trying to fix or make sense of it with no tools or language or example of someone who has done it. Self protection and avoidance that simply keeps us stuck. In my view, God speaks thru the bible stories to show us He's interested in personally helping us get past our ego(flesh). Most religion has made us feel guilty for considering ourselves and our own needs, makes us think we have to go external and help everyone else! That simply won't work if we aren't whole and self-aware. We'll just go beat ppl up with religion bc we don't love ourselves, we still hate parts of ourselves. The enemies within are what ppl call "their demons". The bible quote "love others as you love yourself"...similar to "love your enemies", you cannot do that without starting with yourself...even if it takes years! Take the time to perfect loving yourself and getting back to the child inside (the only way to understand God is through the simple heart and eyes of a child, which we all can get back to...it is humility). Another angle is projection. When you feel a strong sense of not liking someone...like an overbearing self-centered grandiose person. You should stop and wonder why you have a strong aversion to them. Are they mirroring something back to you that is in you? Is there a part of you that is the self centered neglected child that never got affirmed who's crying out "hey! what about me, I got left behind, I don't give a shit about you bc you don't give a shit about me! Not all aversions to ppl are like that, some you may be seeing your abuser in them or you've come to understand some ppl are not good for you and by all means walk away from them, no guilt. This whole concept also refers to depression being "anger turned inward toward self", frustration not knowing why I am not lovable, why it never works, I don't know how to ask for love nor do I have the words to express it, so I learn to manipulate(flesh/ego), which turns ppl off and you know yourself it is not genuine. And the self-hatred continues until you give up and sit down and get quiet and listen for God and ask for help. I promise it is there, it just takes time and little steps and trust in the unknown unseen (faith). When the inner critic will not shut up, you have got to learn that it is NO good for you, God is love, not critical. You do not have to crawl to or grovel to get to God, just be willing to listen and be sincere as best you can to begin. To get on the journey, I began saying...if it is not a message of love, I'm going to ignore it (not run or numb it with alcohol), flat out replace it with a message of love toward myself, that is God's voice. Religion has caused SO much damage to ppl and even caused suicides I'm sure over simple mis-understandings and misquoted bible verses. I am not God and I desire to quit judging others and quoting the bible like I am God, my job is to seek God, agree with what He says, listen and ask Him for all my needs every day. And if I am learning to love myself..to treat others with the same respect and care that I am finally giving to myself! It's too hard to try to live without Gods peace. Thank you Daniel and to everyone commenting their truths!
Great video
I think that’s what Jung meant when he said integration of the self requires getting in touch with our shadow self. To give attention and love to the wolf that resides inside and call it your brother. Indeed, to love your external enemy might sometimes be easier than loving the enemy within. But we are called to love thy neighbour as oneself, which also works the other way around to love oneself as their neighbour (granted that we give others with grace, understanding, respect, and forgiveness). I hope one day you experience the infinite love of God, Daniel. Best wishes.
Great piece, Daniel. Thank you
Daniel I’ve been watching you for like 2-3 years now I’ve been a subsriber for a while you’re awesome and you’ve always put out good and wholesome content thank you !
Thank YOU Daniel. Hugs for you !
Fantastic point, and i'm very thankful that you're talking about this! I've actually came across this concept from buddhism - just referred to as compassion instead of love. I took a class in college called Mindful Self-Compassion that uses therapeutic + buddhist practices in a secular way to grow your ability to love yourself because especially in the west, we tend to be so hard on ourselves. A compassion meditation practice has really helped me be more loving to others (enemies and people giving me harm included)
Some of my earliest memories are of wishing my parents died. Never loved them, never tried.
Thank you for this video. As someone who was abused and neglected as a child, which continued into adulthood, I agree. I also hate the concept of wishing your exes/friends/people the best, even if they are incredibly abusive. Both my friend and I who were in abusive relationships differ on this perspective. She’s like “I still wish him the best” and I don’t get it at all. I don’t go around hating people or wishing something bad happen to them, but it’s hard for me to feel any good feelings towards the people who have been AWFUL to me. I also hate the concept of forgiving your abusers. Not necessary at all to move on and heal.
honest question how do you heal and move on without forgiving?
Jesus, who has reincarnated as Alan John Miller, says that we develop a facade in childhood to prevent further damage and even to prevent our own death
We also develop the strategy of self-punishment to ward off being punished by others
Thank you for your openness, being vulnerable with us and honestly Daniel. I appreciate you and your videos so much. If only more professionals in the mental health field thought like you. You're amazing and loved and I love your insight
So well spoken.
I think we have a wonky idea of what love is - sometimes love is a boundary and holding someone accountable for the wrongs they are committing. A love for oneself but also a love for the potential of the other who is trapped in abusive behaviour. I am increasingly thinking what you describe as a child and what I experienced was terror, and the desperate desire to please the abuser. But it can't truly be love when it is driven by fear. And the same with forgiveness - that naturally arises when we see things more clearly as the abuser's own trappedness in their trauma, rather than believing the conditioning that we received from them that we were something hateful.
You have such interesting ideas Daniel, I really enjoy what you have to say and offer. I experience your videos as love offerings to the world.
I just want to comment on “turning the other cheek”. You can see many MMA fighters and boxers use this tactic and it can be quite demoralizing to the striker. It’s saying “that’s all you got?” “You can’t take me down”
I did it with my mom, she got very angry and attacked me till extenuating herself.
He’s a great speaker
God is good through Jesus!
Such a beautiful, hopeful message.
Beautiful man ty
I can relate so much!
Thank you so much for this video, this beautiful point of view and experience 💗
There was a famous quote I read about this passage in Jesus's famous Sermon on the Mount, from where this particular passage was taken & it was Gandhi speaking to Viceroy Lord Irwin regarding India's quest for home rule - Gandhi was quoted as saying to Lord Irwin, "When we can come together on applying Jesus's Sermon on the Mount, we will not only have solved our own problems but that of the world".
he who helps the least of these helps Me - Jesus Christ
That message was a healing one to consider. Thank you!
For context, Jesus’ concept of “love” isn’t the same as the mainstream definition. When Jesus “loves” someone, with that comes the expectation that he is going to hold the person accountable to their actions, love them unconditionally just for their innate beauty as a God-made creature, but to do whatever he can to help that person become the healthiest version of themselves, and do whatever he can to repudiate that person’s self-defeating behavior and show them the way to correct themself. Love isn’t a compliment, but a life-long commitment of your attention to the genuine well-being of one, regardless of whether that one appreciates your input. So Jesus’ idea of loving someone who disagrees with him is to sit down with them in their home and frankly call out where their mistakes lie and provide an alternative, regardless of how rude or socially unwise it may be. His way of loving the people who seek to imprison him is to tell them face-to-face what they are doing wrong, or else removing himself from the situation entirely to protect his friends and to give his enemies more time to reconsider their actions. If scripture is to be believed, his last action as a free man before being captured and put to death was to heal the guardsman who arrested him because the guard was injured by one of his friends in the scuffle. Jesus doesn’t mean “hug and blindly forgive your abusers”, he means “stand up for their innate right as a human to become righteous, even if their current unrighteousness is being directed at you.”
I think the problem with Christianity as a man made religion is that it mutates this phrase into an abusive mechanism; it gives people forced into submission a stockholm-syndrome mechanism to be ok with abuse, and it gives the organization’s agents an excuse to harass people into joining and conforming to the group. So much Christian rhetoric is about “spreading Christianity” as a general concept and a faction, but there’s the common danger that once one is folded into that faction, the faction does little to help the person genuinely grow beyond blind conformism to whatever norm the leader dictates. So many people use Christianity as a label but if all Christians acted as Jesus did, the vast majority of Churches would be discovered as being fraudulent. Love your enemies does not mean shut up about abuse; the opposite actually. Jesus loved his enemy by consistently standing up for he and his friends rights and consistently not backing down to threats; knowing full well he would be executed as a demon-possessed madman but he still refused to shut up.
Thank you for this beautiful video 🎉 you helped me a lot ❤
Thanks Daniel, interesting perspective on this concept. When we are feeling abused, traumatised etc it seems totally perverse to think about loving your enemies. I think loving your own enemy within is a healthy start, and in time only when you are ready you can begin to realise that our abusers were too, most likely abused, disrespected or led astray in some way. So, perhaps understanding your enemies is enough, I don't know. I think if you work on self love and appreciation for the good in life, as you say, hatred and anger start to melt away and you start to forget about the negative and this is in a way is forgiveness, as you are no longer holding on to your past anger and hurt. You can still hate the abuse, rather than the person. If we look around there is a world full of injustice and suffering - you are not alone in this, though you may feel like it. 'An eye for an eye' leaves us all blind. Loving your enemies is a big ask. Self awareness and self understanding help us forgive ourselves as we forgive others. We are so lucky to have the internet and be able to connect with others who have perhaps experienced similar situations to our own - this gives great comfort. Thank you Daniel, once again for thought provoking content.
❤️thank you Daniel.
I agree with everything except for the "I don't have to be ashamed for the bad things I did". If you harmed someone then you should be ashamed, just like if someone harmed you they should be ashamed. It's only fair.
agree
True. Thank you! It wasn't a very new content by Daniel, though. He has been talking about the importance of self-love, and the wisdom of the how.Daniel, ff you read this, and find the following proposal interesting for you as well, I would like to hear your opinion about the different stages of self-love, and how it helps you to be less frustrated with others.
My experience tells me that forgiving or loving one's enemies requires an advanced degree of spiritual attainment, and that I am not now capable of it; I'm incapable of saying it and meaning it.
In "turning the other cheek," I've just given my enemies another chance to harm me, an opportunity few have been able to resist.
For me, for now, "no contact" works best.
Having said this much, I should add that I've often thought that "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do" might be the most profound words ever spoken.
How many of us really know what we have done to one another?
Thanks. Stay well.
Addendum: Loving your enemy only strengthens his resolve to harm you.
And let's not forget that Jesus of Nazareth allegedly threatened to come back and destroy his enemies, SEND THEM TO HELL FOREVER, if they couldn't learn to love him.
What kind of love is this?
What kind of forgiveness is this?
I guess I don't know what love is.
On second thought, maybe that's the kind of love I've learned to understand, the love of barely conscious Christers still waiting for the Rapture.
Christianity is a "feel-good story"
gone bad, way wrong and really bad. But even as civilization crumbles around us, "Some People" still look to the sky--or "heavenward"--in the forlorn hope that Jesus or "Godot" or "The Electrician" or aliens or someone or something or anyone or anything will descend and save us from our folly. Ain't gonna happen, folks. We're on our own. Forgive us our bungling as we forgive those who bungle against us; but there's no forgiveness here for "malice aforethought," aka psychopathy.
Loving your enemy does not mean to let them hurt you. It means Forgive them..and get the heck out of Dodge!
@@kathleenwharton2139
I'll consider forgiving the first of my enemies who offers me a sincere apology. Until then, they're all on their own.
🖤All we need is love; love is all we need
Love is all we have
except for toxic inauthentic kind of "love"
Great Video!!
Hi Daniel, I like what Kriel said: "love them (from a distance if they misbehave) as you love yourself first (by having healthy boundaries)". I was traumatized by my parents but as a very intelligent and only child I somehow found a higher "parent" within myself and started to realise that my biological parents themselves were little more than broken machines who were not capable of giving love until they healed from their own trauma. So my love for them was like Kriel's, that is "from a [safe] distance". I believe Jesus' comments were addressed to more advanced people who were following him. The Stockholm syndrome type person would have been regarded as being possessed by a devil (Greek diabolos: dia=two bolos=caught), or in more modern words, caught in a double-bind. Perhaps a good solution for this mess that children are born into is to simply get them out of the situation they are in, as per your healing homes video. Perhaps one day we can see a community of people on the healing path, but this would be difficult to set up I think.
This! Energetically, and telepathically, in the safety of your home!
This should be understood as those who have a hostile (hostis is enemy in latin, that which is inimical to one is that which is unfriendly, amicu, friend is the opposite of inimicu enemigo in Spanish, enemy) there is a context to what Jesus was saying, he said I no longer call you servants or slaves because I have given reasons for what I ask of you, therefore I call you friends. Loving one's enemy is not an invitation to participate in enmity anyway but to be kind towards those who are hostile to one.
There has to be nuance to the commandment of “loving your enemy”. But bottom line, no one should be forced to do so. Love is such a strong word and not everyone deserves your love. That being said, the way you interpret it is an interesting take of this verse.
To love is in this context to wish for good things to come to them. This is not a random commandment. It's from the Gospel of Matthew, ch. 5 verse 44. It's the Sermon on the Mount and to understand what it really really really means, one should begin with the beatitudes, just like the sermon does.
Matthew 22:36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
Why?
Hurt people hurt people.
Why are people hurt?
How were our parents hurt?
How do you break the cycle?
Can you choose to see things… yourself your role differently?
Cannot you choose?
Last weekend I heard the exciting news one of my teachers from high school died a long painful death, I loved it!
yeah, in relation to last video and comment, this makes perfect sense. After you understand things more, anger slips away more (and the trauma at times), resulting in more understanding and compassion.
Btw anyone tried this exercise? Whenever you are angry or upset, just ventilate it at first (in a non harmful way), and afterwards start contemplating and take some time towards self reflection also: And once more understanding is there, the more you no longer feel angry :-)
Anyway, it works for me at times :-)
Thank you.
I pray u will get to know Jesus:) He is awaiting.
lmao simmer down
Tammy ...
That is just one of many ancient Middle Eastern religious fairy tales.
I love my friends
Luke 19:27 jesus said" bring all my enemies and slaughter them". In Matthew 10:24 "think not I have come for peace but sword". If we love people raping our daughters and killing innocents then these enemies need punishment or we will be punished by God for allowing this to happen and loving the rapist as our enemy.
What an interesting interpretation.
Totally get you
Im so sorry to hear about your abusive parents )’:: I think Jesus knew that by loving our enemies our heart would be shield from toxic hatred. . don’t hate yourself - hate the bad things u sometimes do.
Totally sympathizing.
Good video yes its true ive seen people who had abusive psrents and they have low self esteem they dont take care of thrmselves thry put up with abuse from others very sad.
Hello Daniel! I was raised by a covert narcissist. And now, as an adult, I am finding it very hard to make new friends and trust people. After spending so much time with a covert narcissist (from 0 till ~18 yo), I perceive all people around me as predators, who are nice to me only because they want something from me, have an agenda. I know I have internalized my past negative experience and people are not so bad. But I do not know how to move on past this trauma. I saw your video about your mom being cov.narcissist and as I know from your youtube, you do not have issues with making new friends (while traveling or else). It would be interesting to know your opinion on the topic. Thanks for the content, I am a fan of your channel!
David.. I am writing this message the 25th of April 2020, idk when you posted this video and how is your inner work at today, but I can tell you, keep on mind this sentence, cause The Bible has ALSO PSYCHOLOGICAL MEANINGS..
In the Healing Process going forward you will understand the further deepest meaning of this sentence that at the time of this your post you had not realized..
There are still few bits around the Narcissistic family and dynamic tgat you have to grasp and will going on with the healing process, after all we all are never completed so we are and will have to be self healing forever to go on properly in life..
BLESS you.. Remember this sentence of The Bible
wow and thats why jesus is the best of the best!!
00:29 To love your enemies means to change your standpoint and your point of view towards them. It doesn't mean to forget about justice. 02:27 02:48 It means to remind yourself over and over again that the things you do are nof for revenge, but for justice and because it's thr truth.
You think more about the power of truth and justice rather than to think about yourself even if you are a victim. It has a huge difference. If you recognize that the truth and justice are above everything else, you will realize is is even greater than your pride or your hate. You also won't allow others to manipulate you to hate or to hurt yourself. 05:29 06:52
It means to remind yourself about justice and just forget the revenge cycle, if you are doing that you are persuiting it already. 02:03
Daniel, although I usually agree with your insights wholeheartedly, in this instance, I do see things differently. To love one's enemies is not supposed to be easy. It is relatively easy to love those that love us. I believe that Christ was referring to a higher love, a stretching of our whole conception of what it means to truly Love.
I also think that one can love AND respect one's boundaries simultaneously, but it requires consciousness, I mean a deep awareness of the dynamics at play and I believe this is not easy either.
I think that the teachings of Christ as with any of the Prophets of God are intended to be quite difficult because that is how we grow and become more noble.
I really love your videos, Daniel! I bought your book to figure out how to break free from my parents, whom I was obsessed with, and it's helped me a lot on my healing journey. I too had an abusive childhood, and I too loved my parents and forgave them in order to survive. But when I left their house, I started hating them. Not myself, but them. I ended up with cPTSD, and I was thinking about them 24/7, and then dreaming about them hurting me. I went to therapy, but it didn't help me - talking about my traumas didn't help at all, it just made me angrier and angrier.
Last April, I did meet Jesus, and the things I found in the Bible (through pastor Jimmy Evans' explanations of what they meant) sounded emotionally healthy to me, so I decided to buy his app, and do whatever he said to do, in hopes I would break free from my parents. There was a session there, where pastor Jimmy said - I *have to forgive my parents. I had heard about this before, and I refused, but my life was in ruins, so I said, "Why not?" So I began praying for my parents and blessing them every morning, and after about 40 days (I didn't really count), I realized suddenly that I wasn't thinking about them all the time anymore. That I didn't need to have some sort of video playing in the background to distract me from my hate for them and my very negative thoughts about them.
Now I am completely free from them, and from my past, and I have had my cPTSD diagnosis removed, and I am on my way to rebuilding my life. I have found everything the Bible says accurate, and emotionally healthy, even though I was an atheist when I cried out to God in desperation one night, "Help me!" last spring. From my understanding, "love your enemies," means - your enemies are doing unhealthy things, don't let their unhealth drag you down with them, but you (as a follower of Jesus) do the right thing, the emotionally healthy thing even if others don't. We can only fight hate with love - but! This does not mean to stay in the presence of someone abusive forever more! It means - do your own healing work, forgive them and keep blessing them until your feelings catch up. Not for them alone, but for you, to break free from the dependency of hating them, of being angry at them, of feeling the injustice of whatever they did, of being triggered now into emotional flashbacks because of the unresolved issues you have right now because of what they did in your past. It means cutting the umbilical cord, and being free.
Jesus says further in the same Scripture - if we love those who are easy to love, what credit can we take for that? We didn't do anything, we passively love people who are nice, and kind. But real love, agape love which is God's Love, takes an effort for us (not for God as God is Love, but we got separated from God by sin, which Jesus broke, but we still need to do our part to get closer to God). It's an empowering thing to choose to do something, even if it's difficult, and it's a powerless thing to just observe people and react to them: if they're nice we like them, if they're not we don't.
Jesus came to teach us how to live a successful, emotionally healthy life. Yes, turn the other cheek, but when possible, there's also this thing called boundaries - because to love someone means to also stand up for them. Someone abusive is doing a bad thing, and if we only turn the other cheek but do not stand up to them, and get help for ourselves and for them (when possible!), then we are enabling them in their behavior. Of course, as children, we didn't have the choice to walk away, and as you said, Daniel, loving our parents and turning the other cheek was our only option to survive. And it worked, because, as you said, it softened our parents' wrath. I did, sometimes, respond to my parents with their spirit of anger and it always got worse for me. The idea of loving our enemies is: you defeat a spirit with the opposite spirit. Just like we defeat fire with water, not with more fire.
I have applied this Scripture in my life, and it set me free from my parents, and I still use it to resolve all my remaining triggers. I've noticed that when I am unforgiving, and reacting to a person who is my "enemy," I just get more and more upset and angry, and I say things that aren't true and that I don't mean. But if I wait, pray for them until I feel the feeling of love for them, and then respond - then they respond better too. Sometimes people just don't know what love is, unless we show them. But, there's always free will, and some people will choose to be hateful - but by doing this, we are free, and feeling loving and wonderful nonetheless. This isn't about control, it's about freedom.
Amazing videos, as usual, Daniel, thank you for sharing your knowledge, and experience, and wisdom with us! It has helped me tremendously in my journey!!! :) :) :)
@Transcript Junky thank you so much for your reply. :) From my understanding, fighting hate with love doesn't exclude stopping those bad people doing those bad things. As you said - they need to be stopped, for the benefit of others as well as their own. I absolutely agree with that and my point was that we need to do this from a place of love (and empathy and understanding) - I'm talking about a place of emotional freedom, where we can think clearly about how to stop them in the best way, that doesn't hurt us or them or others. Because if we stop them through revenge - like my parents abused me so much, and I could have stopped their abuse by killing them (this is indeed an extreme example), but then that would have negative consequences on me, psychologically, and obviously negative consequences on them. But, if I had had the possibility to have forgiven them and send them to get psychological help (or some sort of help that would indeed be effective for them), then that would be what I'm referring to "fight hate with love." Because I understand love as a choice, which sometimes is accompanied by the feeling of love, but not always. Sometimes I feel peace, not love when I love someone. Like now - I love my parents and I wish them well, but the feeling is peace, not the feeling of love I have for others. But I still wish them well, and if there was anything I could do to help them, I would do it. :) :) :)
Curiously, a very strong person emotionally could bring himself to love his enemies. AND, the opposite , a very fearful, obsequious person can do it too.
Are they your enemies if you love them?
My parents did right by me
I don't think you're loving your enemy when you start valuing your inner self. 8:01 You are simply starting to recognize the infinite value of your inner self. You may have hated your inner self but it wasn't your enemy, it was a victim.
Agape love. Is a love bound to principles and boundaries. A good word to research
To love like God takes God.. Read John 3 in Holy Bible: “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” 4 Nicodemus said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” 5 Jesus answered, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.
6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7 Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ 8 The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”... (John 3:1-8 NKJV) God's ways are better and higher than man's ways (Isaiah 55:8-9)
To be born again may really mean to go through the fire, and come out a new man/woman. You have been reborn, another chance at childhood and life.
Wow... really.. this is my important key in my life. 'If you have no enemy, you yourself will be your only enemy'..... Your talking really hooking. I'm christian btw and my parents were "also" christians😅
"Love your enemies"
Daniel: Not many people think this.
BDSM Community: Hold my beer.
BDSM is technically an abused child's attempt to experience self-love by repeating the trauma as a condition for it. There is no enmity. Just an utterly self-absorbed ritualized re-enactment.
the father said to follow his 10 commandments to a "T" and fear for your life
I feel it is the most important thing in politics. But it doesn't mean pretend to and put on a false face, but not dump the negagtive feelings on others.
But still doing it.
One of the most evil teachings ever, that will break you with 100%
Reading the tao te ching & it says it there too 😉👌 I agree that when yr a child , dependent, that’s different - you can’t conceptualise yr parents as wounded adult children & you have survival needs that should be put first [ideally by other adults/society if not yr own parents] or else abuse is just colluded with. Also, seeing & having compassion for what drives yr enemy & what they’ve lived thru to become this way..doesn’t preclude the need for boundaries with them. I agree & believe that outrageous /abhorrent human behaviour on the outside is reenactment or attempts to meet needs in ways the psyche had no choice but to develop in early life. Or maybe we perceive someone as an enemy too when they merely shine the torch onto our own parts we struggle to see/have compassion for. There’s a recent article by Bethany Webster who writes re the mother wound.. the article says so well how trump is playing out his needs of his inner child (with hellish results) & how patriarchy is really about fear not power (or at least power over which is really fear).. there’s a link in there somewhere ;) great vid, thank you for sharing x
Love you, Daniel. We're copacetic, yo.
You can't love something or someone you don't understand. So, I would preface this Christian tenet by the fact that you need to understand your enemies first, then you may have a compassion for them, and only then maybe love.
Wow...
“And then many sick and maimed came to Jesus, asking him. "if you know all things, tell us, why do we suffer with these grievous plagues? Why are we not whole like other men? Master, heal us, that we too may be made strong, and need abide no longer in our misery. We know that you have it in your power to heal all manner of disease. Free us from Satan and from all his great afflictions. Master, have compassion on us."
And Jesus answered- "Happy are you that you hunger for the truth, for I will satisfy you with the bread of wisdom. Happy are you, that you knock, for I will open to you the door of life. Happy are you, that you would cast off the power of Satan, for I will lead you into the kingdom of our Mother's angels, where the power of Satan cannot enter."”
"And your true brothers are all those who do the will of your Heavenly Father and of your Earthly Mother, and not your brothers by blood. I tell you truly, that your true brothers in the will of the Heavenly Father and of the Earthly Mother will love you a thousand times more than your brothers by blood. For since the days of Cain and Abel, when brothers by blood transgressed the will of God, there is no true brotherhood by blood. And brothers do unto brothers as do strangers. Therefore, I say to you, love your true brothers in the will of God a thousand times more than your brothers by blood.
FOR YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER IS LOVE.
FOR YOUR EARTHLY MOTHER IS LOVE.
FOR THE SON OF MAN IS LOVE.”
www.thenazareneway.com/index_essene_gospels_of_peace.htm
I don't know if it's exactly unique. Here's something from Buddhist scriptures: Monks, even if bandits were to savagely sever you, limb by limb, with a double-handled saw, even then, whoever of you harbors ill will at heart would not be upholding my Teaching. Monks, even in such a situation you should train yourselves thus: 'Neither shall our minds be affected by this, nor for this matter shall we give vent to evil words, but we shall remain full of concern and pity, with a mind of love, and we shall not give in to hatred. On the contrary, we shall live projecting thoughts of universal love to those very persons, making them as well as the whole world the object of our thoughts of universal love.
Interesting -- thank you.
This is so fuckin deep.....
i love you Daniel, not gay :3
You're a wise man Daniel! There is a lot of wisdom in the bible, keep on listening to the spirit of wisdom "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her. She shall give to thine head an ornament of grace: a crown of glory shall she deliver to thee" Proverbs 4:7
Here's one of my favorites:
Ezekiel 23:20
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
@@waynemizer4912, a condemnation of adulterous behavior, when read in context. Very nice, but why?
@@seriouscat2231
It's not a condemnation of adulterous behavior.
It's gibberish and illustrative of the nonsense in the entire volume.
@@waynemizer4912, it's not that the necessary information to understand what it is saying didn't exist. It's not that it wasn't available. It's just that you do not want it. Which is a proof of and an argument for exactly nothing else.
@@seriouscat2231
Do you believe the Noah's Ark story as literal or allegory?
Did you forgive them, or just subjugate yourself to them?
👏🏽❤️❤️❤️❤️👏🏽