How to Stop Beating Yourself Up 29/30 Self-Compassion
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- čas přidán 11. 09. 2024
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We often try to change ourselves by beating ourselves up. But you can't hate yourself into a version of yourself that you can love. In this video, I teach how self-compassion can be the greatest source of change and growth. You'll learn three simple ways to stop beating yourself up and what to do instead.
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I struggle with anxiety and panic disorder every single day... I've been on more medications than I can count. I don't know if one day I'll need to eventually find one that works, but for now I'm trying to go without them. I have a million miles to go to finally be healed and at peace... but these videos have helped me more than any doctor or medication ever has. For that, I am truly thankful. :)
Thanks Brandon, I'm glad it's helpful.
Right there with you, Brandon 🙏🏼❤️
@Brandon I'm the same way. I have struggled with anxiety, panic disorder, & depression, as well as CPTSD. I've been on so many medications since I was 14 (I'm now 46). I felt & feel like a guinea pig, trying every kind of medication the Dr's could think of. Nothing has seemed to even 85% help. I have self hate, low self confidence & self esteem. Was raised by a narcissistic mother. Was adopted as a baby. So identity has been an issue all these years, even after meeting my birth parents. Finding the right therapist took YEARS as well. I FINALLY found the right one. These videos have been a blessing & the lady reminds me of my therapist, so I feel I'm still getting therapy from mine, by watching these videos. I'll be praying for you Brandon, that you finally receive some relief from your internal chaos. & Thank You Therapy in a Nutshell. Thank you for helping us Mental Illness Warriors! Thank you for helping us find some peace within ourselves. & Answering those questions we can be too afraid to ask. & Making sense of our struggles. Thank You 🕊
I feel you. I struggled for most of my life (46 years old) and finally started healing by connecting with my inner child, and yoga. Twenty minutes of yoga every day has been absolutely life changing. I used to think that yoga was for pretentious housewives and hippies but I was so wrong! Resets your vagus nerve and helps so, so much!
Good for you! You can do this!❤
You hear people say “love yourself”..I always took that to mean to be conceited or be selfish. Never though of it as a way to forgive yourself as you would forgive a friend. Love this channel
This is so me. For the longest time when other people referenced the ability to be happy or love yourself, I figured it in the sense that they meant you had to carry a selfish or self centered identity as one of the main routes towards addressing any significant worries. I felt confident in this belief due to the constant exposure to neurotypical contents showcasing tge status quo of identity of being a bit harsh towards other and individual centerez?d, so I assumed that they internally had the same doubts as me but just told themselves "bullshit, I am so great!" And so made thoses voices shut up.
I think it is so hard to be compassionate to yourself when we live in such a judgemental world. Most people love to kick people when their down. Heck in the United States we are supposed to live in a country where your innocent until proven guilty. Now it's your guilty until your proven innocent. I have struggled most of my life with self hatred as a result of so much abuse from multiple people from my childhood up through adulthood. I now suffer from compulsive thoughts of self hatred where I randomly remember mistakes I have made in my life and can't seem to stop the memories from flooding my mind. It can be anything from the biggest mistakes to the littlest ones.
sending you love😘
Ellie, I get it totally! Just last week I made a mistake at work, and I couldn't sleep over the guilt I carried for two nights! Obviously, I was held to a high standard as a child and in response, am overly responsible! A habit I am working on breaking, because it no longer serves me like it did when I was a child!
I've been learning to be gentle with myself and more forgiving, but it's crazy how I can fall back into old habits of self critisim!
Hugs, sweetheart! 🤗Change takes time and kindness! You're worth it! 💞
"I love you more than I hate myself." It's an amazingly insightful thought in a powerful story. Thank you.
i kind of needed this today. ive been seriosuly struggling with college and balancing my desire for a social life with my responsibilities. i also really struggle with comparing myself and holding myself to impossible standards and then hating myself for not being them. i dont know how ill overcome that, but its videos like these that give me hope. thank you for this
Definitely brother, there's a fine balance to strike there so it's good your becoming more aware of it 🔥
I used to compare myself too. And you don’t think that can physically damage you. But it CAN. I wasn’t happy with myself and I pushed myself too much while working out thinking of a certain body I wanted to attain. I got a hiatal hernia and now my life is literally ruined
Hey Mateo, I'm in the same situation as you. We will both overcome our struggles, I'm sure.
i swear, i'm struggling with the same exact thing. you're not alone. i've been experiencing these feelings of inadequacy, and i can't help but compare myself to other people. it's a recipe for unhappiness and low self esteem. we really need to be kinder to ourselves.
Im in university too and i feel this, the comparison and what i should have done or should be etc etc etc, i think i have a long way to go myself but this made me feel less alone, and i hope it makes you feel less alone too
I guess sometimes it’s hard to start being compassionate when you’ve been raised in a different environment. As kids we were always yelled at in order to help us be “better”
Ya, the older generation calls it tough love, but it's mostly verbal abuse. It's one thing to have a stern talk and explain why things are an issue, but completely different to just scream and yell at the kid.
Then it's time to grow and learn compassion. Most people struggling already hate themselves- so yelling at them doesn't help.
Unlearn it and rewire the brain 🧠
this was so validating and yeah its so frustrating because its so bviously verbal abuse but its also wrongly justified to the max
Yes! And that haunts me to this day
I dont even want to stop cuz i think I deserve to passionately hate myself, so when i try to be kind it feels very weird, i know it’s not helping in any way
It's like you feel like it's the "right" thing to do, to pushing, berate, beat yourself up. I'd recommend trying a values clarification exercise- what do you really value? Does beating yourself up help? does it help you live "Right"? is it working for you? If it's working, if it's in line with the person you really want to be, then it would help you, but I bet it doesn't. Trying new things often feels very uncomfortable. Doing the same old stuff, thinking the same old way is comfortable...keep questioning, keep challenging yourself. Real growth is possible.
@@TherapyinaNutshell.. hi, what if you cannot get over the mistake, because it was so devastating... and you ruminate the coulda shouda wouldas 's every day. I lost my career job also.... so now,.. I have lost more than I was aware of... structure, purpose, identity, social interactions, coworkers and friends....
That mistake has put me in the park. .... with depression, anxiety etc... any suggestions, how to somehow be ok with this,... and somehow go on, without my job. . And stop beating myself up.... for my mistake 🙏
For a self proclaimed perfectionist with very high standards, self compassion is a very difficult skill to learn. Been watching your 30 video series everyday and for the first time in a long time, was able to meet up with friends yesterday. Thank you for the work that you do. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with everyone in CZcams. Thank you for the reminder that it helps to align your life with your values. Thank you for reminding me of the importance of self compassion. I am a work in progress and am so so grateful to have found you here in CZcams. All the best, Emma, and thank you so much!
This is a lovely message!
I was having rough weeks. I alwayd find me blaming myself for not depending myself, for failing over and over again. I just feel really bad about myself because everytime I try to change I’ll fail again and again. Everytime that I wanna be kind to myself, my brain would say I’m making excuse. But it’s time to apply this again. Thank you for this video, I’ll be more kinder to myself. :)
That's so true, I was never able to start healing and changing after my abuse until I found love and compassion all these years later
Connecting our values to how we handle our own mistakes and behavior is a great practice. "The only thing that pulls yourself out is love," is so wise. Thank you for this reminder. I think people are a balance of both good and bad. We hurt people, say and do wrong things. We also sacrifice, work hard, persevere, and help people out. A visualization helps ground me in this. I hold both hands out in front of me, palms up. I move my hands up and down, saying something like, "Jane, you are not all one way, you do a lot of good things and have some beautiful qualities. You also have some weaknesses that you're working on. (I move my hands up and down to symbolize how my behavior is fluid and not stuck in one mode.) You're a work in progress. That's the way life is. You're doing ok. You're ok." I hope this makes sense to someone out there.
Yes❣️ I Namaste myself in the mirror every morning, Mel Robbins does the thing where she high-fives herself.
When silly things get me agitated, I laugh at myself in a good way. I talk to myself all the time.
I am my own hype man it’s quite hilarious sometimes, well at least I think it is😉
I cheer myself on like I was my best friend and I do very similar to you that I’m realistic with myself without beating myself up but I remember to remind myself of all my good qualities and all the times I’ve overcome adversity and the fact that it’s a miracle that I’m actually still here!
I think what you do is great and you should keep it up👏💪💝
I’ve been taking things way too personally at my job and don’t know how to stop beating myself up over mistakes
Right there with you
@@evolinamcdonnell1313 Have you managed to solve this problem? If you need any more support there are free videos on my CZcams channel on all things self forgiveness!
Dude same. It’s always at work. As a teacher I always feel like I am doing a horrible job or the kids hate me and I suck at everything I’m doing. But that’s just not true. I hear thankfully all the time that the kids love me. They tell me that themselves! And no one is against me directly even though it feels that way. I had to tell those exact words to a kid today and I had the worst possibly imposter syndrome saying that and eating my own words.
My advice?
Work with kids somehow. They’ll tell it like it is and make you realize how valuable and loved and needed you are.
But you have to learn how to actually believe that for yourself… something I’m working on.
Great video Emma! I love the point that you cannot fight darkness with more darkness (criticism), you can only do that with light (compassion). Super powerful, thank you for the video 🙏
Accept mistakes are a part of life.
Forgive yourself.
Be aware of your feelings.
Write about your mistakes.
Focus on what's in your control.
Emma, first let me thank you for bringing personal & mental health to the front row. There are 3 doctors in my family and they will be the first to admit that the studies and the knowledge of mental health are not taken as importantly as other types of medicine. Give some prozac and "see me in 3 months". However you must understand that self love (topic) is more than just words. I'm in a state where I have completely given up. There is no ambition, there is no initiative, there is no care about anything .No reason to get up. I wish it was as easy as self talk, but when you give up caring about anything, you can't even think positive because the brain just doesn't care. I've tried, but my positive talk knows it's a lie and I fall back down the hill. Your words in this video will help many and I am thankful, but some of us might be so far gone that just getting to the next day is about all you can do.
Hey Sam, I know this was months ago but I really hope you're doing okay. I just wanted to let you know how much this resonated with me as I'm going through the exact same thing (funny you mention Prozac, I actually just got a prescription a few days ago, guess we'll see how that goes!)
I have no idea how exactly to help myself because like you said, I don't see any reason to. I don't know if I can offer any advice but I can say that the thing helping me most right now is just to do one little tiny thing for myself every single day. Even if it's just doodling for five minutes even if I don't think I'll be able to enjoy it like I used to, but hey! At least I'm doing it. And I just have to remember to tell myself "I'm doing it for you, because I care about you". Thank yourself for getting out of bed, and brushing your teeth, and any little thing you do throughout the day.
I always shrugged off the idea that saying things to yourself could change anything, but it really has been helping me. Eventually you start looking for other ways to take care of yourself because you've developed a habit of it. Keep in mind, those things that used to bring you enjoyment might not again for a while, but if you start doing them, eventually you can get over the rough patch and things will start to snowball and then you can use that momentum to move on to bigger things if you'd like!
Currently I'm just focusing on drawing for five minutes a day. That might sound like a negligible amount and a waste of time (exactly how I felt) and in the past I would've told myself "that's not enough!" and burnt out after a few days, but this time I've kept up with it for about 2 months now! And I'm actually starting to enjoy it a little bit again.
Anyways, I'll try not to let this carry on too long, but I just really want to help you if I can because I know how it feels. And please, DO NOT say it's too late for you. I hate that I say the exact same thing to myself every single day, and hearing you say it makes me realize how much neither of us deserve that and most importantly, it's bullshit. I've thought that it's too late for me for the last 10 years of my life - it's crazy how hard we can be on ourselves. And if you're curious, has that pushed me to become a better version of myself and pursue my goals and be happier? By telling myself that it's too late for me? Of course not haha, it's made me give up on myself over and over every year. Now I think it's time to change that, but everyone's on their own timeline so I believe we'll both push through our negative mindsets when we're ready. But I know it'll happen, trust me okay?
Best of luck with everything, Sam. ❤️
Take it one day at a time, after all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
So true! When I finally just started living one day at a time, living in the present moment, my joy increased. I just take everything one moment at a time.
oh wow. i like that. i really needed to hear that, thank you.
@@stxrstrxckmxteo515 To feel better reduce negative thoughts. Your breath and mind [brain] are closely related causing stress-anxiety. For a better life sit on a chair, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. Change happens from within by itself. Day or night, when taking a walk, sitting in a park, when reading, at office, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce watching negative social media. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes. Senior Counsellor.
The real problem are people who cannot stand any criticism and accountability and then they blame others for everything. That's the cause of internalized self--blame. But since we cannot eliminate the cause, we have to cope with consequences. Good video!
I have a myriad of issues that I believe stem from negative thoughts and self loathing possibly from ADHD. I’m finally going to see a therapist because everything in my life is suffering. Your videos are amazing and when I establish a path to bettering myself I will certainly revisit these.
I have adhd too..., Never expect that you can become best overall yes u can excell in some areas but rest aspect will just be manageable....and know that u will have mood swings but you will persist doing things inspite of it ...- from a medical student who too has ADHD !!
I hate myself as I find myself proven a failure over and over in my work life, relationships and other areas. I’m not suicidal, as I don’t think I have the strength to actually go through with it, but I definitely feel that I’d rather be dead than alive.
Almost every day I wake up with panic attacks, and I have what I refer to as “closet days”: when I feel like crawling into a corner of a dark closet and curling up and going to sleep.
If I could just exist 100% of the time at about 2:30/3 am in the morning, I would do it in a heartbeat. Basically relaxed and sleeping and dreaming. No more pain.
I feel the same way. Not much is expected of me. I beat myself up about everything.
You're sentiments are the same as mine.. This is exactly how I feel..
Beautiful , powerful teaching! Thank you! I needed this today. After a lifetime of struggle from childhood sexual abuse, l learned that love and the love of God heals.🙏❤🌹🕊🔥
Commenting again (sorry! It feels like spam) on the topic of the actual video. Does anyone else suddenly find themselves choking back tears when a therapist tells you to think about how you'd feel if someone else said those negative things to you? Or tells you to imagine saying those things to your inner child? Clearly that area is something that I really need to work on, but I can only do so much by myself. I don't tend to feel release or relief when I try, I just find myself feeling lost and lonely and empty.
Saying "oh geez, I'm stupid" when I make a mistake or something has become such an offhand habit, and only sometimes am I mindful enough to follow it up with "No, you're not." I think, honestly, the main reason I began doing it was so that people knew it was aistake and understood how apologetic I was for it. But now I do it while I'm alone, so even if that excuse held water before, it certainly wouldn't now
Anyway, ramble over. :P
Telling yourself the truth about who you are and what you’re worth, even when no one is around, is healing your relationship with yourself. You deserve compassion and kindness.
Yeah. I was crying when that time when my therapist told me to do that.
Loving myself is really hard because I want to change and heal and not be the person that I was trained to be but be my authentic self and move past my trauma and my abuse and be the person I always wanted to be but wasn't allowed to be. I don't want to keep beating myself up but I don't want to let myself off the hook either and it's hard because I feel like in the times where I was hurting and lashed out and I was mean that even though I didn't know any better than because of the things that was going through I still feel like I should have known better and that if I was actually a decent person then I wouldn't have had it in me to be mean regardless of what I was going through
Great content. I didn't realize how critical I was of myself until recently. It takes a lot of work, everyday, to change the way you think of yourself.
Just began the video, and already as soon as you talked about the light change....I went from being super happy and active this summer, making videos for my new channel (this is not the channel; I'm not promoting!) to now having a hard time even getting out of bed. All I want to do is distract myself with games, and then feel worthless and cry. And the ruminating goes on and on.
Very good advice for us self haters. Thank you 🙏 im here cause my therapist asked me how I practice self compassion.. im like, what is that??? 😣😓😮💨
What a great message. My favorite piece of advice in this area is treat yourself like you would your best friend. So many of the things we say to ourselves we would never speak to a friend. Start loving yourself.
i’m a high schooler who was sexually abused in middle school. my cousins gave me drugs as a form of “growing up faster into the world”, but little did they know- i was ok w abusing those drugs bc they helped me escape the self hatred i felt from the sexual abuse. i feel so understood. the sexual abuse i had never held me down or physically scarred me- that’s why i feel so guilty. i feel so unworthy of love bc i had a momentary crush on my abuser as well. it was horrible, but i forgive myself. i went through so much and i have so many loving people in my life that i know are willing to be understanding w me and my healing. i can get through this. i can get better
I’ve beat myself up irrationally up for years until I finally realized it’s a self-defeating cycle.. which could easily be self-hatred. I was finally able to cope with it but it still finds it way into my dreams.
stop playing league of legends then
I really needed this today, thank you
Glad it's helpful
Emma, I cannot say thank you enough for your videos. They are truly an answered prayer. I find myself rewinding so much to take notes and that’s something I can’t do in typical therapy because asking someone to repeat themselves over and over is mortifying to me. Your videos are so incredibly helpful and not having to pay for them is a life saver. I’m already swamped with medical bills and it’s coming to a bad point where I knew I desperately needed therapy but I couldn’t seem to afford it. These videos are a God send. I believe that you are anointed to do the work that you are doing. Thank you thank you thank you.
Also those quotes you brought up and that story blew me away.
Today is the day I make a change.
❤
I’ve been having bouts with being motivated, and losing myself hating the way liquor taste, while drinking anything straight and fast. Not to feel, or a false sense of happiness. I’m working at this point on affirmation meditation, and these therapy clips! Be proud your present for yourself. Love and light to all on this journey. Thank you love for your energy and selfishness. Mo🦋
I still strugle with low selfesteem and that is due to heating and beating myself this video is good but i am looking to a video that mentions selfcompassion and selfesteem in the same time thanks great video.
Emma, this video has helped me to help someone else, and was so aptly timed 🙏. I've been able to say the right things to the person so they can understand themselves better. Thank you for all you do. Bless you.
thank you so much for sharing this precious words for free
She has such a simple,yet wonderful manner of speaking and it makes feellike almost talking to a friend.
I like this video a lot, especially because of the example, because usually when I hear "normal" people talk about self love and compassion, I assume that doesn't include me, its only for people who have done things with their lives who deserve to feel better. People who fucked their own life up dont deserve help from others, they have to pull themselves from it. Its a terribly harsh belief, but through the magnifying glass we all see our own lives through, it makes a lot of sense.
You are an angel of God, your videos have helped me tremendously with my anxiety. I love how passionate and loving you are. ❤❤
I really like listening to this lady. She helps me to understand myself, and the personalities of other people.
MDMA does wonders to help in so many ways. My wife and I partake 2 to 4 times a year and it works miracles.
I was so hard on me last night. This video has come the right time. Thanks Emma.
Thank you for these videos. I think I have watched just about every one on your channel. I listen to them every night, since the pandemic began, before bed because I had panic attacks multiple times each and every day.
I think the one of the most helpful tools I have taken from your videos, to stop negative thinking, is practicing gratitude. I overthink right when I get in bed, and come up with the worst possible things that could happen and in doing so I can’t fall asleep and toss and turn all night.
Who would have thought something as simple as acknowledging everything you’re grateful for can shift your way of thinking that quickly. I thank God that I found your channel!
I’ve spent so long disliking myself that in my mind there’s no other way.
I think this woman can help you.
same. i can't even begin to imagine a parallel universe in which i appreciate myself
It takes time brother, but no matter how long it's been there's a way to see your authentic self :)
@@jenni4claire To feel better reduce negative thoughts. Your breath and mind [brain] are closely related causing stress-anxiety. For a better life sit on a chair, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. Change happens from within by itself. Day or night, when taking a walk, sitting in a park, when reading, at office, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce watching negative social media. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes. Senior Counsellor.
I know someone who loves herself and forgives her mistakes and expecting the same from everyone. She causes a lot of distress for others while happily living her self forgiven life.
I don't know where I would be right now if I hadn't found these helpful videos and there help from them is immense many thanks to Emma.
When friends start saying they're not good to know and crap like that I say "hey, fucko! That's my friend you're talking about!" :P I'm pretty new to dealing with myself so gently though. The bit about excuses resonated with me. Finding something to love more than I hate myself.. yeah, between trauma and disability I don't really enjoy anything anymore, I stay live for the few friends and family I have left but I don't really have anything to drive me forward, I just feel broken and ashamed and utterly powerless to get on top of things (also dealing with untreated ADHD but I'm working on being believed about that, though nobody believes I'm autistic except autistic people so that's likely to be just as distressing, like most times I look for help and get shot down :/) It's hard to keep trying.
Hey there. Thank you for sharing that.
I know what it is like struggling with the autism spectrum, as my brother has a severe form of it, and I have asperger's. On top of that, I deal with Anxiety & depression. I have PTSD from my abusive family, and I've even lost track of how many times I've tried to take my own life because I just couldn't handle everything anymore. Most of that, was before I entered high school. I'm in my 30's now, and I still deal with it. It may not necessarily ever go away, but I do believe it can be lessened and made more bearable. I was talking with a mentor today about how love & hope are similar and have a way of transcending our own understanding, and even our species (animals even experience it) so I do believe that love has a purpose in the scheme of dealing with mental health. As someone who deals with a tremendous amount of self-loathing and hatred for himself, these past few years, and some friends who have become family, have shown me, that love can indeed offset the negativity in the brain. Love & Hate cannot co-exist in the same space. Hang onto whatever love & strength you have, it will give you hope and in turn give you the strength to keep going, even when you feel like you're about to give up.
If you ever need to talk, just know there are others who will listen. You are not alone. Keep fighting the good fight. Hang in there, stay safe, and good luck.
I did everything, I could to avoid anxiety, I lied, I didn't go to school just to avoid anxiety. Now I have 2 choices either blame or sham, I know what I am gonna choose.
Shame in itself is a tough emotion, i can imagine that would be enough to create trouble
This concept was the driving force behind me bettering my golf handicap by more than 10 shots. I used to hurt myself with condemnation after a bad shot. The fear of that abuse was preventing me from ever playing freely and enjoying the game. Now I coach myself as I would a student learning the game. "Right, laugh that shot off. It's a silly game isn't it, mate? Accept the failures as markers on the road to success. You can't measure progress without a starting point can you? Now, how are we going to play this next one?"
Thank you so much for this. I have been going thru so much stress over these last fews weeks. I have a disabled child and I just want to make their life perfect and constantly push myself beyond my limits. This video helped to teach me that I just can't do that. Allow myself to be myself and value what I can do and don't demand perfection. It has been great. I now feel so much more relaxed and do see that what I am doing is just fine. It also allows me to value what my son can do. Sure, he is not perfect, but he is doing fine. Thank you so much!!!
Eirene, Be joyful from within. To feel better reduce negative thoughts. Your breath and mind [brain] are closely related causing stress-anxiety. For a better life sit on a chair, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. Change happens from within by itself. Day or night, when taking a walk, sitting in a park, when reading, at office, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce watching negative social media. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes. Senior Counsellor.
@@shyaaammeneen63 thanks for this. :-)
@@eirene4235 A reminder. Since many years I have made it a habit to observe my breath sensations even during my normal activities and I am feeling relaxed and healthy. Anywhere-anytime it can be done. The best part is nobody comes to now that you are doing the breath observing practice as there is no deep breathing or sound. Reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind. Read my msg and do the practice regularly. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir-Counsellor.
It occurred to me while listening to this video that negative self talk is an intrusive thought creating a passive aggressive cry for help. When the brain says, "you can't do that because you're weak" -- and the response is internalized to "I can't do anything because I'm weak" -- saying that out loud to a close friend would be met with love and compassion and empathy *but the person who interprets that isn't present inside the brain* until we learn to be kind to ourselves
Our unrecognized goal is to BUILD that compassionate friend inside our brain
And maybe that starts with questioning the voice to find out what deep-seated fear is *actually* behind that voice -- chipping away at it a little at a time until we can face it
There was this one kid in my class. He was smarter than all of us combined.
Im that kid
I started watching you videos from recently. I realized that I am suffering from catastraphizing disorder (always thinking of the worst case scenario) and your videos helped me to realise that. I am sure I am recovering well by following your tips..Thank you Madam
Thank you for sharing all this with the world. Love is more powerful than fear for sure.
As a child my main motivation for getting better was avoiding getting beat, but now as an Adult I no longer have to worry about getting beat which has lead me to always do the minumum and always get by with my mediocrity
Thank you for making these videos! Treating yourself right is a journey, so having constant reminders like your videos really help. Thank you again Emma ❤
This is one of your best videos to date! Right what I needed at this point in my life. Thank you!
Huge thanks and gratitude to you❤❤
Your lessons have been a wake_up call for me
With the help of your insights i can manage to make a big change in my life
Ive trimmed my weight and im in awe of you
You are the best. I thank you for all you do.
Another great video. Offering a suggestion to be joyful. To feel better reduce negative thoughts. Your breath and mind [brain] are closely related causing stress-anxiety. For a better life sit on a chair, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. Change happens from within by itself. Day or night, when taking a walk, sitting in a park, when reading, at office, before sleep etc sit or lie down and observe your breath. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Reduce watching negative social media. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes. Senior Counsellor.
Wonderful! I had to listen to this twice
Thank you for this. I suffer from health anxiety. I never know if I have an actual virus or I’m very anxious. I am working with a therapist, in a really good church small group with the book WINNING THE WAR IN YOUR MIND by Craig Groeschel, and following you. Today, I’m beating myself up for giving in and just lying around all day.
I love myself ❤
This video is truly beautiful, thank you so much.
I went to a table top sale and when I got home something was missing from my bad. I kept telling myself these things happen, it was only a small thing and that I have lost much more in the past. before I would have called myself stupid or an idiot but getting upset over something trivial doesn't help. I am changing the way I think about things and I've made mistakes in the past, which I will no longer beat myself up over
I searched for this. I've been really struggling with self criticism lately... To the point where I get in my head and cry really hard in situations where I don't want to be crying.
Thank you.
I’m starting to take care of myself now.
Yes, and the bible says, 'Love others as you love yourself.'
It does not say, 'Love others but do not love yourself'. Some are made to feel guilty because they love themselves. That is not what the Bible teaches. The interpretation plays an important part. Do not fall into the trap of othets to the extent of allowing them to belittle you till you begin to hate yourself. Strike a balance. Set a boundary for the sake of your mental health.
There are all kinds of people in this world. They throw all kind of accusations at you not because you hurt them. Many are negatively influenced by others, what is circulated in the social media, some of these people can be strangers or even preachers we have never met or heard about. Some do it for fun. Some use you as clickbaits, others express their opinions based on lies some others are having lots of hatred in their heart or out if jealousy or see themselves as heros coming to the rescue of society at large etc. People in these catagories cannot see things Cleary as they are bias. Thanks to Emma for helping us see things more clearly and benefits from her many sharings.
Am I a bad person? I was taken to my supervisor's office with her and a high-ranking chef. They (or mostly the chef) told me that I've been touching my coworkers too much. Not THAT type of touch, of course not! Just casual ones, like on arms or shoulders. I was always very outgoing at work. When I asked her if anyone reported a complaint, she said it didn't matter. She told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment, and that I pretty much shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school (I work at a university's catering service). She told me I shouldn't tell my stories because they may be inappropriate to my coworkers. Now yeah, I pretty much don't have a filter, and sometimes I guess I do say "inappropriate" stuff at work, but not *horribly nor intentionally.* I like to joke around and have fun with my coworkers (and I know they like to have fun with each other too), but I guess it isn't like that after all (more or less). I really didn't get specific information from the chef about what and who. She understands and likes that I'm outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits, for good behavior and my coworkers' sake. And again, that I shouldn't touch my coworkers (shoulders or arms) without their consent. But seriously, I'm not a creep! I don't randomly hug people or anything like that. I didn't mean to be so "handsy" (I say loosely). I'm so embarrassed about the office lecture. I am not like Biden at all. I'm really not. Have I really gone that far at work? It shouldn't have gotten to that point. And I expressed this story in Dan Schneider videos, and a few people have either beaten me up or lectured me. _That's_ why I'm starting to wonder if the office thing really does make me a bad person.
Wonderful information and refreshing perspectives and tools. Thank you.
Thanks Lisa
I’d love to be picked for that light therapy lamp. I struggle with MDD and seasonal effective disorder and at times, in the winter, it becomes physically painful to physically move. I push hard through it most of the time striving to give service, sometimes making tote bags for the homeless or foster kids. Pick me!
I have loved this course. Highly recommend purchasing if you want to grow faster and live an even more productive life!
Fir this video, in particular, I appreciated that sometimes the best course of action is inaction.
Thanks Emma!
On this vide
I really needed this right now, THANK YOU ❤
Don't fight your thoughts just let them come and go. They are just words not facts
Your videos are so enlightening, so helpful to me. Thank you for the good you spread in the world. ❤️
Self compassion for myself never been easy.
I am so hard on myself since childhood.
With suffering with back pain at 22 and still do have problem.
Keep pushing to become your best self you can be. If you reflect on your mistakes then that alone shows that the mistakes don’t define you. You got this!
Thank you for these videos. They make my day better when I visit them. keep up the good work sister.
this whole playlist would be a great book!!!
Thank you, it’s always nice to come back and remind myself this advice
I really needed this ngl
I developed a quitter mindset. I can’t keep a job. Every time I have a chance to start over I quit I lost 4 jobs during the last two years because of this mindset. After the last one I went into deep depression. Tomorrow I’m going to a therapist for the first time
Try taking one day at a time, I was the same way sometimes u gotta push through a job you can see that’s is a very chill job but if your still having anxiety just try to push through it is all I can say I know it’s hard and it’s sucks because I had to loose sleep over my anxiety to stay in a job but I prayed and finally I’m getting use to the job and started to slowly liking it so just keep try and be kind to yourself 💜
I also hope therapy helps and medication is not a bad thing 💜 it’s a tool for help and there nothing wrong with that
@@blackfire1671 Thank you for the advice🤍
It was crucial for me to lern self compassion. It is a basic skill. The best with it: I am less needy now because I finally am able to love myself.
You are so helpful and wonderful, like an angel from above
This is so helpful thank you for sharing this ❤❤❤
I'm learning to say thank you to all my thoughts. Thank you Emma. Your work is incredible! :)
I see myself as a piece of shit. My bf says I'm useless, worthless, and that I'm almost 40 and have done nothing with my life. These thoughts tumble around in my head all day and night. I know im not physically or mentally able to work right now.
I hate myself so much already.
Are you ok? This was horrible to read!
Thank you so much for this 💕
P. S. Your new hair looks so pretty 💐
usually it’s the Feeling that comes before I can think of what else to do, because I can’t help but to “Agree” with what I’m feeling-
Thank you! AWESOME Emma!!!
What's really helped me is kratom. It help me open up in therapy and start boxing. Not saying it's this magical plant but it had done wonders for me and I have P.T.S.D, G.A.D, M.D.D with psychotic features. It's all about the WHY you're taking it and also taking nessesary steps other than kratom to improve your mental well-being ❤
This video made me cry for some reason
As always, thanks so much …. Enjoy your presentations!!! 🍃❤️🍃
Thank you so much for this. You have put the idea across very effectively.
Thanks
Welcome
You’re awesome. Thank you for your work, it helps us a lot
Without the brief relief of opioids I can’t, I want to drop dead with no pain, my spine is ruined from laboring like a slave for a scam operation. My father yelled at me everyday as a child for not doing my homework.. I was a good kid, I had potential, and threw my life in the garbage trying to prove a point to a man that hated me regardless of anything, then he kicked me out when I was crippled, called me a cripple and locked the door.
Amazing how u helping people 👍🙏
man did I need this today...
I am sharing your excellent videos with many people who are asking for help. 🥰 Thank you so much. CoachDrWu 🕊
If your family members say that "you're thick as two short planks" out of frustration, then it they say it enough while you're growing up, then you'll internalize that yourself, will beat yourself up.
Perfect timing. Thanks for the video.