WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT! 😪 5 Years of Cultural Differences - REAL TALK With My Tanzanian Husband
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- čas přidán 21. 07. 2024
- Peace y'all,
In our 5 year of being together, my husband and I have been through a lot. Here's some insight.Hopefully you can take away a grain of wisdom from us.
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IG: @traveling.sista
Yeah I would have an issue with men that think a woman's job is to be cooking a cleaning. As a woman, I was not born to be a house maid for men. I was born to be able to produce children and to be me, using my talents excelling at mathematics and science. Everyone that has hands, feet, a mind to know what is clean and dirty and can learn, can cook and clean.
Birthing children ( which these men would not be living if women did not birth them, a seed is nothing without the woman greenlighting its growth and existence) and nurturing them alone is a task that nature gave us, as women, that deserves the upmost respect, love, and protection. A woman sacrifice so much alone for birthing children, some die or do not get out of postpartum depression, it stresses our organs and ages us. More care needs to be given to women and their needs in all cultures.
Many women are coming out of this subordinate mindset that they are just house maidens to men. Black women are the most proficient business owners, scientist, engineers, etc. Why? Because we are the nurturers, we don't just nurture children, we nurture and have passion in all we do, So it make us most effective in power of what we take on.
We have been shut down by these oppressive traditions for too long and we see how all of this ties into how Africa is now a playground for everyone that doesn't have the best interest in Africa. When women were in power they could not get in and exploit Africa as well as they have been since the men been in power. These man based religions that turned into traditions have literally held Black women back from power and turning them into talent and dream graveyards, as well as, perpetuating ideas that keep women stuck being househelpers with benefits for men.
If Black men loved us, they would not see that as a threat or a challenge to their ego but something as an ally to their future to Africans/Blacks getting back control and power.
I agree that there needs to be a shift in mentality in regards to embracing the balance and celebrating the strengths of the man and the women individually. But I also see a shift. For the modern African man and for younger generations outside of the villages, I feel like there is more fluidity in the expectations of the modern household. As I mentioned, my husband is one of the only family men I know that gets in the kitchen, cleans and does other household "chores" that a woman would typically do, as per their cultural norm. And I didn't have to bribe or coerce him lol.
Also, I can't speak for all Tanzanian/ African men, but I'm almost certain that most men believe that women ARE capable of things outside of being a cook, maid, and housewife. We have a much higher capacity for details and thrive in fields of science and engineering. There are quite a few AMAZING Tanzanian sisters who are in science and engineering fields here in Tanzania. I went to a gemstone and minerals conference a few weeks back and saw them with my own eyes.
And call me traditional, but I believe that these things like household duties, cleaning, watching the kids, cooking and providing nourishment for the family is traditionally expected of women because as the female species, it is our natural inclination to BE NURTURERS. We are designed this way. We have the breasts that feed our children which we birth from our womb. When those children bump their heads and cry, who do they come to? Mothers. Not because the father isn't capable of comforting them... but not like we do. So in my humble opinion, translating into modern day terms in the household, we take care of the home, our kings, our children + more. Frankly I take pride in nourishing my family and making sure my home is in order. 💁🏾♀️ A lot of us tend to look at these roles through the mindset of the colonizer's culture which in we were raised and assign a different meaning to historic gender roles and view them as oppression.
I believe that the discord was introduced through various colonizers of the continent and the implantation of their belief systems. Not only religious, but right down to the way we dress on the content, the way the household is run, and the toxic patriarchal attitude towards women. Ancestrally, most African cultures had/ have a deep reverence towards the African woman, the mother, the Queen.
Girl you said a mouthful. I agree with everything you said. Nobody surprises the black women like the black men. There need to be a mentality shift.
This mindset is a modern day capitalist mindset that’s not natural. Women were covered and should always be covered by men. First fathers and then to the husbands. Women should never have to be on their own without being covered and taken care of. My wife was a RN and gave it up to come home and be with the kids and loves cooking and maintaining our home which is a full time job instead of dropping our kids off for others to teach and raise them. It’s a balance and men and women should balance each other out for the family sake. This is how the most high designed it and it works.
@@lasthour7132 exactly, the me too movement have their minds warped, and then they wonder why their chronically single
@@skidavis2782 unfortunately that and men not being men also lead to where we are today! Also in the states welfare the state became our women husbands!
I must say, Hubby is looking real smooth 😎 He’s a whole vibe!
yes, the Indian Ocean WAS called the *EASTERN SEA* before our colonizers changed it! Thanks 😊 Kat!
Let us start calling Eastern sea. I also call the so called lake Victoria as lake Nyanza or lake Namulolwe.
I did not know that, glad I now know it
The husband hit the nail on the head. Our (AA's) heads are always spinning with stress. We were born in stress from our environment and move about daily trying to find peace in the system we have to live in. Crazy to say but must admit.
I wasn’t born in stress. Don’t experience it. Don’t move around trying to escape it. And I’m AA. Are you saying there’s no stress in Africa??? You must not have tried being an African in Africa. There’s plenty of stress and dysfunction to go around.
I truly admire the way you respect one another and also your cultural differences. Very important discussion.
Beautiful. God bless.
My wife and I watched this together. This sparked some interesting conversations between us. Thanks and congratulations on 4 years of marriage.
Y’all are too cute. Girl I was binge watching your videos 2 years ago and it’s beautiful to see the evolution❤️❤️✨🙌🏾 Blessings of The Most High fam.
Thank you darlin! I appreciate the support 🙌🏾
So many valid points brought up.. I am AA and my husband is Jamaican. We are still adjusting lol. Zora is such a big girl now.
Yep! Even with our own cultures and subcultures within America as African Americans. The culture in New York is vastly different than that of Houston, and so is Chicago from New Orleans. Differences are everywhere.
Sis that SKIN is giving!!!!!!!!!!
Marriage will have its challenges. Even when you come from the same cultures. You have to be willing to put in the work. My husband and I celebrate 19 years of marriage this summer. We’re both African American. We both came from families with long lasting marriages, yet we still had different expectations because we were raised in two different homes. I’ve been a housewife for the last 16 years, so I have taken on a more traditional role than my mom. We’ve learned that we get to write our own love story. It doesn’t have to look like our parents’ marriage or anyone else’s. We’ve had 23 years together (19 of those married) and 5 babies later and he is still my best decision to date!
Those two are meant for each , they Looks Great two- gether💪..
.& the little one (s).
PEACE
Hello Sista, I remember when you got there, I can't believe it's going on 6yrs.
Peace, Blessings, Light & Love🌻💛🌻
I love the fact that the both of you can admit your flaws w/o any judgements and finding ways to improve the differences to make the relationship long lasting. Btw, you are glowing Kat. Hope to see you soon. Continue to let your light shine👏🏾
Hey love! Thank you 🙏🏾 we are a constant work in progress. It’s takes so much patience and honesty, and I’m happy that we both have those levels of both to understand one another. And what?! It would be amaaaazoing to see you again ♥️
When he said African American have more temper issues, I fell outtttt! Sis!!!!
hehehehehe
Yeah we do. Because we've been fighting since birth. That's one of the reasons why we should at least travel home to begin to heal.
@@LadyAzamaWe haven’t all been fighting since birth. Some black American women have attitudes for no reason. Like all races of women for sure. But fighting since birth in America???? Try being born into a misogynistic society like in some African, Indian or Asian countries where female circumcision is forced on you, your parents trade you into marriage for a cow, you’re not educated because you’re a girl, you must be accompanied by a man in order to be in public….
I haven’t heard of an AA woman knocking out her African man’s tooth. But that King Obutunda guy in Uganda got his ass kicked and tooth knocked out by his Ugandan girlfriend
@@lumedeon8471 Oh my aunties fight men lol
In Uganda, we always know our Tanzanian neighbors prefer speaking in Swahili language than English.... because they love Swahili so much 😊
Say Kat I would like to hear a Tanzanian woman's perspective on what they expect from diasporian men. I think that's a novel idea, actually I think it's brilliant. ( hey check out the big brain on kat) I would like to see that as part two. Peace and light.
13:48 when Freddy carried on in Swahili 🤣🤣
@@berthatz that’s so nice dada ndoto zangu ni kiingereza unfortunately because my Swahili is broken 😅
May Yahweh continue to bless your union and help you to successfully work through your cultural differences.
Gratitude 🙏🏾
Y’all are beautiful people and a beautiful family. Continued Blessings🙏🏾
Thank you fam!
You both look amazing, so vibrant and beautiful. :) :)
Thank you 🙏🏾
Awww my big sister is back we missed you so much. My life did a whole 180. I went from being engaged to breaking up. Then had to go through a healing process, lots of therapy and family support from my father. Now today im a brand new me in a brand new relationship(well over a year). Me and hubby has just about the same cultural background. Him being from the igbo tribe in Nigeria and my Father is igbo as well. Mom side american as ever lol. Im just getting into sea moss can't wait to order.
Kat - Hang in there! So glad you have a good strong man for a husband. You’re blessed!
Transcending cultural norms if they're outdated and just based on 'this is what we've always done' no matter if that's the African or the American/European partner, is the way forward. What works for the individual couple seems like the best way.
Wow!! 6 Years in area... And 4 years marriage. Love it.
Hope be throwing it down! 😂😂 Hope cooks. 🙌🏽
Okay so that’s 2 Tanzanian men I know 😂
Oh my goodness Zola is cute, what a beautiful family
I like the positive energy you always bring plus the realness. Peace and light to you and your family.
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 thank you so much
These two remind me of Maxine Shaw and the guy from Living Single.
The shirt he is wearing is fresh man
Yes, two cultures trying to work it out, making it sustainable, and congratulations on your beautiful journey. We appreciate your contributions. Wishing you continued growth and success. True black men knows a black woman’s 👏🏾👏🏾💖💖🙏🏾🙏🏾. You are black gold as a couple. Glad you are keep up a day out on a regular basis as a family. Keep it up. Love and light ♥🖤💚✊🏾
I love your energy together so very loving.
He broke it down well / beautifully splitting of roles …man pays the bills even if the wife earns …wife does more of the chores
Peace Sis, Congratulations on your anniversaries, love the growth, so happy for you all!
Nice of you making this
From my observations i see that beside cultural differences , personality, tolerance and knowledge also plays part to relationship sustainability
FINALLY!! Traveling sista is spending time with us LOL! We love you. Dope video
😅 y’all know I be needing my me time… my space lol. But there’s no love lost ♥️ I miss y’all!
Great advice! I love black love and relationships! Great video and your daughter has gotten so big and so adorable!
Let that be your next video. Tanzanian woman and American man
Thanks for sharing. I can see many similarities in the struggles faced in my as an African American married to a Kenyan. From the start we both agreed that open honest communication was the only way we would make it through and continue to have a strong healthy relationship. It can be a struggle sometimes but it’s has also been wonderful.
In terms of his role as a man in Africa. You have to tolerate his culture since your there. But you can't change 100%. He has to tolerate some of your culture behavior s
Tanzanian brothers cook for themselves while they re still single but once they got married they stop cooking and the wife does
Kat so glad you popped up on my timeline!!! Live your energy.
I appreciate this video. It’s all about respect.
Hey Sista! Great to see you!
🇹🇿🇹🇿🇹🇿❤️❤️❤️Blessings upon your family
Hi Kat, thx so much for my order! Can't wait to get it!!!
I loved this. The only way we can ever get anywhere close to understanding someone else’s experiences is to share and to listen.
I LOVED this! So good to see you back!🥰🥰🥰
I have been following you for a long time. I love your videos.
Many blessings to your family ❤
You two are few of the realest, dopest couples on youtube. Mad respect and thanks always for the love, light and inspiration you bring 🙏🏾❤🌻
So much happiness there ..beautiful
Glad to see you guys. Haven’t been getting your notifications.
Generally in most of our African culture when it comes to cooking I would say it's done occasionally when your woman is not feeling well and also when she is away. It's also done when it comes to most roasts and BBQ. All hard work and labor is handled by man and all light duties are done by a woman. Finally man protects and provides for his wife at all times. Personally I hate cooking and my American wife understands and she has never bothered me on it in our 35 years of marriage.
Freddy talking about space got me thinking about that three feet of personal space that we employ here in the west. Hard for me to interact with another male who violates the three feet rule. Men who touch women they don't know would also be difficult for me.
Wow Kat little Zoe speaking, wow time it really does fly, (seems like yesterday she was in diapers) dang tomorrow she'll be graduating from high school.
Beautiful family ❤. I’m glad it’s working out for you guys.
You both are so wonderful together! I know coming from an African woman myself, our men can sometimes be like you have to do the house work as the woman but times are changing and the younger men are open to learning now. Keep talking and keep learning because relationships are constant work.
Time are changing yes, and marriage are not lasting for this young generation because of those quick changes or women want to be equal as men in marriage
@@fellythoye2017 but men aren't the sole provides either, so?
Thank you for sharing this insightful video about relationships and sharing your beautiful family.
Absolutely great vlog today and the scenery of the African Ocean and the beach life is so spectacular
Positive and creation energy to you both. Congratulations on 4 years of marriage. Thank you for sharing your lives with us. I love to see the growth. 💛🌻💛🌻💛
Congratulations on staying together, it’s hard without the cultural differences. Much love and Blessings
We can see how much you two are in love: Beautiful
A part is a Leo thing. My son is a Leo and that the way they are!! But they are hard working men and women for their family!! They are providers!! The king!!!
Very good to know... about the sample one.. I did order the powder... will wait patiently.. I am aware of the distance and 🇺🇸 postal office.. blessings to you all 🙏
Great conversation. Thanks for breaking the topic down. I’m sure everyone can benefit from this conversation.🌷
Praying for continued Blessings in your marriage & family. There's challenges enough, when you're from the same culture: I can only imagine. I agree with Freddy: each person gives 100% of themselves to the benefit of the family. Much love 💕 😺
Yes cultural differences can be a blessing and a curse. Praying for you two. You guys are looking great ✊🏿✊🏾 🙏🏾
Wow! Six years! Congratulations. God bless you.
Great video but omg Kat is just so pretty!! Blessings from Kenya. We started our journey at the same time. We still need to link one day
There’s No 50/50.
It’s 100% whole balanced man and 100% whole balanced woman.
He innerstands manhood and she innerstands womanhood to create a balanced household where each individual fullfills their devinely designed roles.
I'm a newbie. Can't wait to see your other videos. And that's right! East Africa Ocean
I love the authenticity, love, patience and honesty between you two 💗💗💗
Thank you sis! 💕💕💕
Congratulations for starting to manufacture or produce Cmoss (sp). I wish you the best in your business, much love 💓 from your former neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York, USA.
May God resume blessing you and Freddy's marriage Kat. I like the level of candid perspectives in terms of the cultural differences. All marriages are challenging; however, both folks have to be willing to communicate with understanding. Good to see your beautiful daughter.
I enjoy cooking whether married or single, it's really laughable to see some women complaining about it, my husband will begg to cook when I am running late , and don't really like him to do it . Yes I do work and bring a good income but I also excel in the kitchen and cleaning my home.
You guys seem like a nice couple. Please keep on pushing through the good,, bad, and indifferent times together. Grow old together.
hi Zora ...she is adorable. love your family
This was beautiful. i also want to randomly say, we need so more music from Madam Kush🙌🏽
Beautiful family …God Bless u
She looks like her father!! What a doll!!
Looking forward to hearing the Tanzanian Sisters perspective
I don't like to eat at any restaurants or eat food cooked by house managers (if I am to marry, my wife should know this first). We should differentiate between work and family life. African men know this: that we are the care takers and women also have their responsibilities. So many men can help at home with hard work and fix so many things, and this has been in most African families for a long time.
I will personally say that households are too different from each other’s jobs. A man doesn’t just sit at home and eat and fart, but he also helps where necessary at home. However, some modern women take it extra to turn a man into a woman. Recently, I was watching a program where men in the US prefer a woman who is willing to share 50% of her salary. What else can you say to that woman whom you can’t even afford? My dad said, "Be a man, and make your wife proud... don’t be a hyena."
You guys look great BLESS
Thank you two for sharing your advice & wisdom❤🎉Such a lovely and beautiful couple #inspiration
Awww Zora is so adorable. Nice video. Great topics. I've been a subscriber since before you two got together. Time flies.
I was gonna ask Freddie's sign. LOL! If I remember correctly you are a Libra. Libras are known for indecisiveness. Air sign - cerebral. Leos get right into things. Fire sign - action oriented.
Looking forward to another video like this.💕🙂
Beautiful family!
Shout out to the lady Kishamba, aka Travelling Sista, and her family. It been a long time since you last posted. Hoping to meet the family some day.
Great conversation.
Great video!
LOL 😂 the sand!! My Ugandan husband makes me eat too 😊 I loved that! Thank you for this video to help educate. It is so much needed as I know some who are simply on "the hype" and don't have the right mindset. Yes these conversations should be had BEFORE you just jump and try to move. Communication is key! Thank you Traveling Sista 💖💖
I'll say it's about 50% to 60% of Tanzanian married men who cook, I never used to cook when I was still a bachelor so even now my wife does all the cooking.
I do a lot of other housework though.
Great content. Thanks for sharing.
The largest amount of sea moss I buy is 4oz bag. A 4oz. bag of sea moss powder provides more than 300 servings (1/2 tsp) for me. Just a little makes a big difference in my health.
Teddy confidence has increased and his accent is different than the first video I watched with you guys years ago. Kat looks great.
Wonderful video.
Definitely you two make a great couple and keep the conversations going. May be a side hustle in helping couples to deal with crisis in cultural relationship issues
We can hear you good Elizabeth New Jersey USA
Great to see the family again! Where is the red hair???? That red hair suit you! Yaasssss! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Both of you are so loving, praise to Allah to continue to bless you noth y your family
I kno that's Right!! Eazt African Ocean🌹😘❣
Thank you. And then there is Zora! Growing up beautifully!! God bless you all.
🙏🏾🖤✨