Problems with Japanese wives in Japan.
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- čas přidán 29. 04. 2021
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Santi has served as a business consultant and corporate lecturer for major companies. His area of expertise lies in cross-cultural communication between Japanese individuals and foreigners. His primary clients include Japanese expatriates preparing to live overseas and foreign workers employed at Japanese corporations.
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To clarify - Sexless Japanese marriage means neither marriage partner has sex with each other. It does NOT mean neither is having sex.
Well, i think the reason why they are sexless is because of bad communication. If its not satisfying they have to say it. Both have to say clearly what they like. They need to know each others desires. There are so many options, so they should find something what both like. And next step would be training and speaking while doing it (this is good, or no thats wrong point, showing whats right). Communication is the key.
In general, when both partners don't respect each other, including see the other as beneath them; then the relationship bond never develops. But, if the partners treat each other with mutual respect and as equals, the partnership flourishes and grows into a happy family unit. (For example, if a married woman wants to work and her partner takes away her choice by forbidding her from doing so, she often feels resentful toward the relationship. If a woman is trying to be supportive of her partner's goals, through encouragement and he becomes defensive and takes the encouragement wrong. Yet refuses to give the woman the mutual respect she deserves, by not talking to her about what is bothering him. Including refusing to listening to her side and not letting go of his resentment and allowing this resentment to fester. His actions further harm the relationship and the same can be said, for a woman who is guilty of the same behavior toward her partner. Lack of communication, lack of mutual respect, lack of consideration and lack of loyalty. Including a lack equally sharing the household duties and a lack of understanding and lack of adapting. Not to mention the lack of acceptance to the changing roles of men and women within relationship, becomes the number one cause of the disintegration of relationships, in general.
I Tink Japanse Couple need GOOD Comunication, my Japanes Fiancé never talk Good About he's FEELING, but when I talk about what I want, and ask him about what he want, we Talking very OPEN and I this is GOOD FOR Relationship....
Great video. Very insightful. I've been living in Japan with a Japanese wife for 15 years now and can say what he says is true.
Santi, I've recently found your YT & I love your honesty, openness in each video, it's refreshing.
When I became engaged my Mother said," If he (husband) doesn't get it (sex) at home, he will go somewhere else for it". But if my opinion her "advice" should also in include the wife going elsewhere for sex if husband is not giving. Sadly, all too often it's lack of communication, honesty in what they want from the partner. How can husband/wife never desire to touch each other!? Blows my mind!!
Hi Santi~ following this video, I am kind of interested to know Japanese' attitude towards divorce. Is there a social stigma associated with divorced men/women, are they perceived differently? Does the reason of divorce affect how people see them? (for eg, one partner caught cheating/displaying abusive behaviour, or simply do not get along, are kind of entirely different situations) Is it a taboo to discuss this topic? Are people open to dating someone who was previously in a marriage? It would be nice to hear your opinions. Apologies if you have already covered this in another video, kindly let me know. Thanks. Cheers.
“Prostitution” as defined most places is legal. Japan’s laws allow for prostitution and big loopholes negate all the restrictions you hear about - i.e. no vaginal intercourse. If you are aquatinted with a person (prostitute) you can do whatever you want.
We all know who who is the "Friend" when the sentence begin by "I have this friend who got this problem...."
Hi Santiさん！Could you please, please, pleaseeee do a video on the Japanese mindset regarding mental health & mental health care?? I am always worried about my friend who is a Japanese woman seeking therapy and medical treatment for her condition in Japan, but she often tells me there's a HUGE stigma around mental illness and feels she has no one to turn to. I like that you're a "no BS" person, so please give it to me straight. I've heard terms like メンヘラ being used in a negative sense, but I haven't found anything positive to help people like my friend. How expensive is therapy? How effective are therapists in Japan? Are there many clinics? And is there a book where I can learn more about mental illnesses in Japan like 躁鬱病? In America, there's a book called the DSM-5 that's useful for diagnosis and I wanted to know if there is anything like that in Japan? I've been trying to read a book called 甘えの構造 but there's a lot of kanji, so it's taking a while...説明してくれませんか? long bow
It's such a shame mental health issues still hold negative stigmas in this day and age. I pray your friend finds a therapist that she feels comfortable with. Also, praying for your well being, both for yourself and so you can keep being a supportive figure to your friend.
www.tokyomentalhealth.com......I THINK this place is about 80 american dollars for 50 minutes.....A Psychologists handels a variety of mental issues, a psychiatrist is Dr. and can give both mental and health care...If you are looking for help specializing in women's mental health problem, I am not sure if there are any .I hope this can help you
Ariana, not only mental health. Read as well as watch ' One Litre of Tears' by the amazing Aya Kito. Even her physiotherapists blamed her for her being disabled. IF you get round to reading it make sure you have a box of tissues at-the-ready. ......I mean that.
I would be interested in a video on this topic as well.
@@Pleasant-but-Enigmatic Thank you so much! I hope so as well. She's been telling me it's so expensive so I'm worried affordability may be another issue in Japan overall. And I am also praying for your well being during this time! Stay healthy and happy!
Honestly that chart was terrifying. 😔
It's called bait-and-switch.
I kiss my husband every morning before He going to work, and when I 'need it' just say to him casually. Don't mean to be aggressive, but I just like to communicate it clearly.
Just saying.
フランス語や英語でセックスレス離婚と調べても全く出てこずこちらが出てきました。日本ではたくさん検索したら語られてるのに、出てきてないこと自体にショックでした。私は国際結婚で一カ月のレスです。相手はフランス人。この動画を改めて見せてみたいとと思います。海外って離婚にお金がかかるからこのレスと離婚というテーマが上がらないのかなとは思いました。海外の人が離婚せずにセックスレスにどう対峙してるかもっと知りたいです。貴重なお話ありがとうございます。
You mentioned just get better... l was taught that "practice" makes perfect....
Hi! No sex for o month, I get it. Could happen. But no touching and no kissing in a married couple...that is cruelly . The mojority of married man I talked to say the same thing : I do not get enough sex from my wife. One of them told me : he gets sex once every 6 month. I think partners do not honestly talk about this, and they persue their erotic satisfaction separately. They take the other for granted and they quietly shut down from one another in this area.
I feel that there are a lot of resentiments between partners because of this lack of honesty in addressing this particular issue.
About divorce : a lot of people divorce nowdays. Less drama. 30 or 40 years ago divorce, in my country, was low( because it was hard to get an divorce) but drama of those couples caught in a bad marriage was sky high.
Hi Santi. I started to watch your videos maybe month ago, and because of it writing this message today.
I think, it is because more and more women feel, that their relationship with guy is only about sex.
Women could think that men exploit them, because they havent got any other relationship except sex. And because of it they are scared and avoid sex, only to know if their partner cost to be with them.
Have a nice day.
Is this true?
Last few days I heard news about former female japanese porn star, she is 22 years old murdered her husband 77 years old. Her husband is a rich man. Anyone know about this story?
😳
Wages have been stagnant for 20-30yrs whilst the cost of living has been exponentially increasing. Not to mention the cost of housing. If my wife didn't want to get off her ass and help out, I'd pack my bags and find someone who would. Again if me and her were going months without sex, I'd pack my bags and bounce lol
Only 1 - 2 times a month? So I should better not date a Japanese man 😮
Imagine being married to a woman that doesn't understand that after drink beer with the guys on Friday,I'm going to be coming back home very horny.
Japanese woman too
Sex is not the problem to get divorce the truth is money is the reason as l see many of my Japanese Wife friends
So not sex but the money. $$$
Why are women always being blamed? Wives are encouraged/expected to give up their jobs. ( Fathers use this as an excuse for not paying for a University education for their daughters ) .Women do ALL the house-related chores as well as - often - look after the kids and the relatives of their husbands. They are - in general - expected to wait up for the return of their husband ( just in case his majesty is hungry). As I asked before: why are women always being blamed?
@kai kito It's not true that women are always being blamed, quite the opposite. Don't take my word for it, google it. You'll see literally every news article only blames men for household issues. You might be new to this channel but Santi is known precisely for going against the conventional wisdom.
Also women don't do ALL housework, majority yes, but then again men pay majority of the bills so it goes both ways. Does, that make a woman 'her majesty' if a man supports her financially(most cases)? Especially in Japan where working hours are very grueling, is a man her "servant" then? Women are allowed to have gendered expectations of men, but the moment a woman has to do things for her man, she's his "servant". Marriage(life really) is a hard work for both genders. Modern Feminism(not women) is being blamed because there's no give and take, it's just a one-sided narrative and it's caused unhappiness for everyone.
Hello Santi
Whenever I go to Japan I love the night life, meet some women and have a drink and talk to them. It's true some women lack sex or romance from their partner. So when I find out if they want some romance I invite them out and ask them respectfully if they are in the mood if not we just talk, no pressure, but if it happens , they say it was great and they want more, giving happiness to a woman is something important. If you happen to know some women send them to Canada for vacation and I will give them a tour all over.
Just be cool with your wife and be yourself idgaf 🤣 she can get mad all she want!
As an East African man living in America, I always wanted to visit Japan. Find me a nice house wife to bring home to the parents. lol
Amazon...."sex toys for couples"
A real man always gives a choice to a woman. Doesn’t matter how tough it is he never asks her wife to work and help him. However, at difficult time a real woman starts working even without being asked. At least, that’s how I see healthy relationships in a family.
P.S. Personally, even after getting married I would like to work because I want to succeed in a professional career (doesn’t matter how much my husband earns).
It's 2021 sis, I get that some people may be more conservative(nothing wrong with that) but it works both ways. If gender roles still apply to men then they have to apply to women to. Here's the equivalent of what you're saying: A real woman always gives a choice to a man. Doesn't matter how tough it is at home, she never asks her husband to help with the housework! Unless you are 100% comfortable with that statement, think twice before making one-sided statements about men like that. It's not right to have double standards.
@@JohnSmith-oi5hh the "career" women usually arent as happy as "focused on family" women. Seen it at work way too many times.
Succeed in your proffesional career lmfao for what, work till your dead? Whats the point
@@CODE14464 There is no point...for women or men to be working like this. The system is falling apart, and many people are depressed and just don't acknowledge it. Not just in Japan, but everywhere. I truly hope to see this system get torn down and rebuilt into something better in my lifetime.
@@JohnSmith-oi5hh Nailed it 👌
What about love dolls? Do men talk about them there? In America it's starting to gain momentum. Men here have had it with women. I'm getting one this year and I'm not participating in society anymore. I'm done.
Gentlemen, I'm about to give you the best advice you will ever hear about marriage. Are you ready? DO NOT GET MARRIED OR HAVE CHILDREN! By taking my advice, you saving yourself from a lot of torment and heartache!