The Family YouTuber Who Gave Away Her Son - Myka Stauffer | TRO
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- čas přidán 15. 05. 2024
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The Right Opinion: The Family CZcamsr Who Gave Away Her Son - Myka Stauffer | TRO
0:00 - Intro
9:10 - Brave New World
18:25 - After Many A Summer
25:18 - The Genius and The Goddess
31:28 - Point Counter Point
38:24 - Antic Hay
44:11 - Those Barren Leaves
52:10 - Island
58:47 - Time Must Have A Stop
Intro:
Family. For better and for worse, there is no connection like the one you create with the family, I have discussed this time and time again, so I shan’t go into too much depth on my philosophical thoughts on one’s kinsfolk, but as you are all aware by this point, emotional potential, breeds market potential, and the family channel took its place on the CZcams terrain a long time ago.
Now, family channels are no stranger to criticism. The extent that some families will go for views, often places some of the channels at odds with the rather rigorous standards that audience members impose for such creators, why do these standards exist? Well, because of the children. If you are a parent, many would assert that you have a responsibility to preserve as idyllic a childhood as possible for your offspring, and that degree of responsibility is only amplified when you’re uploading content of your family onto a public platform.
In spite of this, most criticism is typically confined to parents failing to be adequate role models, not just for their own family, but for others who they are supposed to be educating through their content. Some of these escapades may lead to some asking if they are equipped properly to even have children, however, it is seldom the parents who are asking that question, or even acting on such inclination, this is where today’s subjects appear to be an exception.
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Interesting vid
1st reply
When we needed the British commentary man most, he returned to us
Nice
Always look forward to a post from TRO
"Please respect our privacy" said the mommy vlogger not respecting the privacy of her kids...
Oh, it's just a ploy, so that she (they) can keep paddling to different stories at once, both the: "he's angel that just need patience (that she doesn't have)" to propepective new parent(s), and : "he's was a devil at our house, hitting and hurting our biological children" thereby justifying giving him up for (re-)adoption... They seemingly didn't finalize the adoption, so he's wasn't really adopted in the first place, just taken from his home country to a totally different one... From another story I've got that adopted parents in the US has to take separate steps to make their child a US citizen. What's the chances the Stauffers did that..? Without a US citizenship he could face deportation back to China, a country whose language he will probably not understand by then, by the time he (Huxley) turns 18, especially if he's violent and get a criminal record... as they claim him to be. Ironically, that she (they, the Stauffers) would bring a newborn child to the same house, if he indeed (as I don't believe) is as troubled as they claim, is beyond me. But I believe little of what they claim about him (Huxley).
The height of hypocrisy! But I expect nothing from this woman she comes over as a narcissist, adopting that little boy imo was to fulfill something in her he was supposed to adore her look on her as a saviour and everyone would tell her how wonderful she was, what a great mother to take on such a special child, and of course he was a pay day for them! I find Myka nauseating she comes over so insincere she is very affected and even though she shares so much about her self and her family we do not know who she really is because everything is by design, to create a certain image or look a certain way.
When she says he won’t just be returned but then that is exactly what they do she said she could not imagine life without him and that he was her baby boy, yet they gave him away they “rehomed” their child how can we believe or trust anything they say from now on! I don’t like family vlogging channels they are intrusive, unfair, unkind and inappropriate, I do not understand why anyone would do this to their children for money it is irresponsible and imo immoral! The Stauffer’s should lose their channel this was a little boys life they messed with! I really hope Huxley is happy he deserves it ❤️
And posts their entire life for the internet to see.
Couldn't agree more with each of you. There were definitely some moments in this one that were tough to stomach. And a lot that were simply infuriating. Even just the way she spoke about how this kid was going to teach her so much... These people have kids for the wrong reasons, and I just feel terrible for the boy. They didn't do this because they had love to spare, they did this because they craved more. He deserves better, and the other kids do too.
I believe huxley loved every one but her....he as a innocent seen through her ....he didn't bow down to her like she wanted...I believe he tried...but just knew she was a fake
She practically demonised a child with autism because she didn’t know how to take care of him... just ew
Bet she thought autism was just some alternate form of Down's or something
@@mupty if she generally thought Autism was another form of Down’s syndrome then my God she shouldn’t have children
@@slime_rat you probably shouldn’t either if you believe fought is how you spell thought
Also I have diarrhea of the mouth
And now I feel terrible after reading you have dyslexia 😫
The biggest annoyance i have with this woman is her insistence on making it all about HER. “He’s teaching me so much”, “he’s done so much for me”, “parenting is so hard for me”. YOU are the parent, Myka. You’re supposed to be raising him. He’s your son, not your teacher.
That's a sentiment that a lot of parents of autistic children put out. Typically will describe themselves as "autism warrior mom/dad" because they think it's so noble to do what parents are expected to do for their kids. They also love blaming any bad thing their kid does on being autistic even if it's a behavior non-autistic kids do, but they feel it's such a benevolent thing to not terminate parental rights or kill them!
This is exactly what I found odd even before TRO talks about how she rehomed her son. It just seems so self-centered and hypocritical :/
I really hate how she frames everything as "it will be worth it in the end". Worth it for whom? for her? what is the worth, Myka? you're a _parent_ .
Our society and media like to tell us that disabled people exist to inspire/teach able people, like disabled people aren't human beings with our own needs and reasons for existing. It's dehumanizing.
Exactly! There is a total lack of trying to empathize with her child or understand what he's experiencing or going through.
Let’s not forget that the husband also adopted this child and acted as a legal guardian in this situation and should be held equally accountable
YES thank you. like yes she’s the only one posting and talking about it, but he’s a parent too? it sounds like she did so much of it herself.
She’s a “oh you’re depressed? Just stop being sad” type of person.
"Just go outside and exercise."
"Hey hunny wanna become your own boss 😃 Just join my pyramind scheme" vibes
"Just drink water."
"Afraid to die? Just dont die lol"
you're homeless? just buy a house
“He stares at people when you eat, even if theres food in front of him” that is the most obvious sign of a child who’s experienced hunger and food insecurity.
Treating him like a dog
He could also like food. It depends. But in this instance I 100% agree.
He came from an orphanage in China, a communist country with a pretty bad track record for human rights when it comes to orphaned/disabled children. I don't think we'll ever know what his early infancy was like or how he was treated, but it probably wasn't good.
It's kind of common unfortunately some orphanages even past foster homes can be suprisingly abusive.
@@elizabethsmith7224 Sadly true. Here in Canada there are foster homes that have been disestablished due to depriving children of basic necessities, exposing them to sexual predators, neglecting them, etc. and so many kids are forever damaged by these experiences. I wish that Myka Stauffer had been more understanding of this reality. She adopted a child from a country with a reputation for abusing and neglecting disabled children, but she found it "weird" that he would stare at them while they ate dinner and that he liked to hide himself in a closet and rock himself back and forth. Those behaviours can be telltale signs of possible trauma and past neglect. She had no idea what her adopted child's early life was like.
As someone with autism, I am overwhelmingly angered by this woman. It was quite obvious that she had no idea how to properly care for a child on the spectrum. When I had meltdowns when I was young, my mother would take me to a quiet area, comfort me to calm me down, then we’d talk through why I was upset and how to deal with the thing that had upset me better next time- keep in mind as well, I wasn’t diagnosed with autism till I was 18. My mother taught me proper coping mechanisms, and even when I had bad days, she never once stopped caring or gave up (she could get a little strict though 😅). The fact that this woman just gave up on her child makes me ill, but also grateful I have a family that is able to love, care for, and understand me
As someone that’s adopted. This woman struck a nerve with me. It’s already hard enough to grow up with a family that doesn’t look like you, and always wonder about a family history you have no knowledge about. Add neurological problems, and parents that are pieces of shit. And you aren’t going to get anything good out of it.
I struggle having a drastic opinion on the matter. As a person with autism myself, who has been diagnosed as an adult, I now see what my parents went through with me. My mom lost her health and sanity trying to understand and respond to my needs, without any help. She inherited herself a very strong saviour syndrome from her very traumatic upbringing, and any well balanced parent (as good of a parent as they could be) would have given up on me and put me in an institution. Now my parents are exhausted for life and I have to live with the inevitable guilt of having been a burden on an unprepared family. I deeply love my parents but there are sooooo many things that they did very wrong. Any undiagnosed autism (or unprepared parents) can leave to child abuse, so I definitely prefer that child being safe….
That being said, those people are so greedy and disconnected from reality, it’s infuriating.
@@lunariian oh man, I'm sorry to hear that. And I know it must be really confusing because of the whole being mostly non verbal. Stay strong there. I'd say just keep an eye out for if it's a meltdown or possibly crying due to not being able to express himself and his needs normally for that age. As my grandmother always told me, there are special people put in place in this world who have the love and patience to raise and/or adopt an individual with a disability/disabilities. It may be a challenging road up ahead, moreso than expected but you being this understanding already is the biggest step in the right direction imo.
You seem to be talking about high functioning autism which used to be called Asperger's until it was rolled into autism to take some of the stigma from that condition. I don't think it's the same thing at all. In fact all it did was further harm people with autism and fetishize the condition. Making it desirable for people who are just anti-social and/or want to mimic some of the characteristics for attention and to make excuses, as it's pretty easy to fake, IMHO.
There are so many shows about idiot-savants now and people mimicking this to appear intelligent but then have an excuse for mental shortcomings. Even the poorly displayed version of it in the show Bones where the woman presents as a high functioning autistic but yet can't understand colloquialism which you would think as an autist and anthropologist she would have studied since she likes studying humans. I did and I'm a qualified archaeologist. If you can't understand colloquialisms then you can barely communicate and stand out more.
My mother was an abuser who used to beat me up. I rarely had any kind of meltdown outside of a reaction to abuse for example, her coming into my room and moving my stuff around or stealing it (and no, I don't mean tidying up, I mean playing mind games). I was often beaten black and blue so I learned how to behave, but I definitely did have skin picking and other irresistible behaviours. I think that's a major difference in autism and Asperger's. The autist has no ability to stop the undesirable behaviour because he or she is not fully self aware. Whereas someone with Asperger's is excessively sentient maybe more so than others. That's why it's so difficult to be social because you would be aware of everything until the average person who actually is not. If it's a spectrum in terms of self awareness, all humans are on it.
i have autism too so i completely agree.
The way she says “are you done fitting?” While shoving a camera in his face is absolutely vile? Like your child is CLEARLY distressed and upset and you decide to film him instead of comforting him… like what is this woman on?
Idk what went wrong i wonder tho
wait, is that not a normal thing? my parents did that all the time when i was a kid, i thought it was normal? (they never posted it online though) /genq
@@lemonweirdo same, but I doubt it’s healthy. They’re supposed to comfort him, but they record it (so did mine now that I think about it)
@@lemoncardboard3270 interesting. Sorry if it was a weird question, one of my parents was abusive and the other was an enabler, and I'm still figuring out which parts of my childhood were or weren't abuse, so I don't really know what's normal and what isn't.
@@lemonweirdo no it’s totally fine I honestly totally understand. Hope ur doing better:)
Why does it legit feel like she was trying to create an “adoption aesthetic”
Because she was.
she got that savior complex
It pisses me off because I am adopted
Sigh adopting a child when you already have 4 would not be for youtube content. She clearly thought it was going to be a magical fantasy and that she'd have such an intense bond with the child and that it'd be so rewarding. I think that was their mistake, NOT *adopting* a child for youtube content, that's ridiculous. There's a way easier way to make more cash online - onlyfans. Or even faking a terrible event like people have done would be less effort and risk than adoption. I don't believe they adopted for that reason
You mean a trend? Because it could have if it weren't for this fuck up. Maybe other youtube family channels will have it more difficult for adoptions now.
I can't imagine being those kids, who have every moment of their waking life being recorded and uploaded for millions of people to see and judge.
it’s not a good video if justin doesn’t have smth to say about it
Kids have to deal with that in school already jesus.
The fact they will view being recorded and judged for millions to see as normal is sad.
@@tompossessed1729 The difference to me it seems, is that your caregiver is exploiting you - so trust is automatically out of the window.
I agree Justin
The way he smiled and got all excited when dad said “are you my boy?” Broke my heart. This poor baby is going to need so much therapy as he grows.
The way they refuse to refer to him as anything but “little guy” or “boy” makes my skin crawl. It feels like a huge wall between them.
@@aromaladyellieok I thought it was just me. Like I call my son by his name along with his nicknames. But their wording gave me itchy skin
You can’t return a pair of pants to Walmart after 30 days but you can return a child after 2 years.
Damn…
Damn. I didn’t think of it like that. Fucking terrible
that's just what he was to them, a shiny thing that is in fashion. I hope he has the best life now.
What a flat one dimensional comment. Of course you can return a child after a longer period of time than a pair of pants, because it is a human being. Would you rather there is a "no return" policy, forcing the parents onto a child they cant handle and therefore ruining his life involuntarily?
Why are you comparing a child to an object as if the same logic applies.
@mami7864Nope. She gets no credit here because she did the wrong thing in the first place by adopting him and adding to his trauma by taking him in then abandoning him again.
"..his our boy. Were not gonna return him..." this, didn't age that well
Aged like milk 🥛 😒
He's our boy, we're not giving him up my ass
That's when we knew that's exactly what she was going to do...
When someone says they're "not" going to do something, its a pretty clear sign of being in denial. Or dishonesty.
aged like Milk
Duct taping his thumbs, shaving his head when he doesn't want it, getting angry when he looks at you while eating, all of it is so abusive and disgusting. They are abusive parents. Disgusting.
Abusive af
She also fully pushed him when he was going in for a hug. Rejecting a child seeking comfort can be abusive behaviour and using physical force to reject that child? She was not treating him right at all. I'm kind of glad he might be in a place where he gets the attention and considered care he needs rather than whatever way they were treating him. But, unfortunately, it'll also be hard for him to get over this trauma too. Hopefully, he has a good life from this point on and Myka focuses on parenting the four kids she has now in a caring way.
@@laurenettrick9201 and most adopted kids go through separation anxiety that can go to very bad levels, AND the kids struggles with autism, so im guessing its even worse. it makes me furious how theyre trying to victimize themselves in this situation. i also havent finished this video but i vividly remember she once said "me and the kids (excluding *him*) are going to go upstairs in the room to spend some family time" my jaw fell to the floor... they literally only saw him as a cash grab... the whole approach about how they describe him (adoptive son, consistently said "he is my true son, never felt like her wasnt" being repeated OVER AND OVER again tend to have a different effect, signaling that he somehow is different and not her real son but "she doesnt see him as that") makes me feel really uncomfortable?
Thank god that baby is out of there.
I’d also like to add that in a (now deleted) video, her husband talks about how they often put the adopted child to sleep early so that their biological kids could come snuggle in bed with them while watching a movie. Further pushing the narrative that many adopted children experience that they are not the couples “real children” and aren’t worthy of certain activities
They’re not horrible for giving him up (because he deserved way better than them), they’re horrible for their motivation for adopting him. (Content, praise/savior status, adversity, autism hashtag, etc.)
Agree. Blessing they "returned" him.
They’re horrible for giving him up as well because it is part of the entire thing. Adoption is trauma. So what they did was cause him the trauma of adoption/changing homes…. twice. All because they couldn’t listen, and were selfish.
agree
@asmrtpop2676 tbh giving him up really was the only correct decision that they made. The damage was already done, so they could either give him up, which would induce some trauma but ultimately open him up to hopefully going to a better home, or they could have kept him, where they would continue to not be able to meet his needs while continuing to shove a camera in his face.
The boy should have never been adopted by that family, but it's for the best that he was taken out of it.
As an autistic person who grew up feeling difficult and like a burden, Myka's words cut really fucking deep. I pray that this kid won't remember these things and is in a family that won't treat him like a chore, he deserves the world and it's infuriating to see Myka complain about basic parenting. "We didn't sign up for this 😢" then you didn't do your fucking homework! You sign up for EVERYTHING when you bring a child into your care, don't put yourself into that situation unless you're ready for it. This isn't just scummy, it's absolutely fucking tragic and I truly wish this kid the best with a family that knows what they're doing.
I pray he won’t remember but… I’m autistic as well… so I know he will remember 😞
The “we didn’t sign up for this”, but being parents with biological children, you have no idea how your kids are going to come out. They might be healthy, disabled at birth, have a genetic condition you didn’t know both you and you’re partner were a carrier, etc. With adoption, you are literally choosing to sign up to be a parent. I hope Huxley has a chance, he’s been through so much already.
@carolinamurtha3102 christ now that I'm thinking about it, you're absolutely right. they DID sign up for this. knowing how much paperwork the adoption process involves, I'm sure they literally explicitly signed up for this dozens of times.
She is disgusting as a mother!
Myka asked for a child with special needs specifically. A doctor warned them and in one video Myka even mentioned that and she said, that this warning went in one ear and out the other.
She was fully aware, that Huxley had serious health issues.
Bruh the doctors literally told y’all you weren’t ready for a severely autistic child 🤦🏻♀️
A lot of people will keep changing doctors until they hear what they want to hear
"i know, but i want clout"
"wow you're the worst human i know in a just world you'd be in a cell"
She loved the attention that she was receiving from the idea of adopting. No way would she have considered changing her mind at that point.
Yup and she could have gotten a autistic child naturally too and she can’t give them back so wtf why would she take him and give him the highest hopes of a home and loving family them give him back when shit goes down
Clearly the adoption process does not equate the lack of mentality of the so called adoptive "parents". They are all despicable.
The “tantrums” she showed him having weren’t even tantrums. He was literally just crying, not screaming, not throwing anything, just crying.
Seriously. My boys aren't on the spectrum, and they've had full on meltdowns. I know I looked like a horrible mother at the time, but when my middle child was 2 or 3 he would scream bloody murder in the store. Every. Single. Time. I've learned that instead of leaving or getting angry, I would ignore him and let him scream it out. He would follow me around screaming and throwing himself down and I would walk away. He would chase me of course, throwing himself down. People would give me dirty looks lol guess what? He is now 8, and top of his class with a reading level of a 6th grader, and the sweetest boy you'll ever meet.
Right, regular kid behavior
@@samalvarez8776 I'm only now realizing how OFF I was as a young child for NOT acting out. Before I'd see people with kids that screamed and yelled and thought "why can't they be calm and patient like me at that age". Now I know it's because I was furniture or a living doll to my mother, and until my dad retired from his job I didn't even get attention.
Props to you for discouraging him acting out in the store. (It's amusing that apparently kid-raising is the same strategy as parrot-handling-- ignore when they scream and adore when they don't.)
Yes, he seemed just sad and needed comford and a tight hug and food! Poor thing, Myka and James are horrible human beeings.
My boys are grown now and I do mini reenactments of mega meltdown at grocery stores where I had to leave a whole cart of food behind ...we laugh and we all survived 🤗 I played WITH my kids not FILM them.
I started tearing up at the 1:02:30 mark when the "dad" said to the boy "Are you my boy?" and he started smiling widely. He is in a better equipped home thankfully, but that moment really drives home the innocence of that child and how much they toyed with it.
I was looking for this comment. That broke my heart more than any of the other footage. 🥺
I was thinking that too and myka had mentioned that In the beginning hux had gravitated more toward James because he held him more in the beginning than she did.. Maybe she was jealous and resented him for that. So sad.
@Kaydee ねこ "daddy" got mad because the baby watched him eat.... he's acting for the cameras
If I came across this couple irl I would initiate a physical confrontation. They literally treated this child differently because he wasn’t their biological child. I’m willing to bet that if it was one of their children that had autism they would have a lot more patience. P.O.S.
As someone who works with SEN children hearing that “are you done?” made my blood boil. People seem to not realise that if you’re not prepared to care for someone with intense special needs and commit to a life of learning you should not commit to parenthood in the first place. Parenthood shouldn’t be a gamble.
Same with him going in the cupboard, that's a totally normal thing for a severely autistic child to do. My son always goes to cupboards if things get too much for him, just leave him be as long as he's safe and happy.
when you say SEN do you mean CEN? forgive me I'm not trying to correct you, genuinely wondering if it stands for something else.
@@meganmarie4541 Special Education Needs.
yep. especially given that people had told her that he had autism and was gonna need extra care and she still just went along with it without assessing whether she’d be able to care for him or not which she clearly couldn’t
I had no training when I started working as an SEN TA and neither did a lot of my coworkers in that department (most schools in the uk don’t have special needs education requirements for SEN TA’s) and yet we all seem to have a better understanding of handling an autistic child than this woman does. It’s literally googleable.
I'm going to fucking say it
giving her child up to be raised by another family who was better equipped to take care of him was probably the only good decision she's ever made as a mother
I agree, your majesty
this.
That doesn’t make sense, giving him up was the reason she’s labeled as a horrible mother
@@pory913 in my opinion she’s a bad mother because the motivation of the adoption was self-serving and she went ahead disregarding all advice that would have made her a better-equipped mother for the child she claimed she wanted. By letting Huxley be adopted by a new family that could accommodate Huxley’s special needs, she made a decision, for the first time, benefited the child in the long run. I think that’s what this commenter^ meant.
It’d obviously have been better if she learnt to truly love and accommodate who Huxley is; but since she had grown to subconsciously resentment him and her rigidity/arrogance couldn’t allow her to change her ways/expectations, the “re-home” outcome was the lesser of the two evils. Huxley would have had a prolonged traumatising childhood if stayed with her any longer.
TLDR: she’s so toxic that her removing herself from the child’s life was the best thing she did for him (after she’d already done some damage by adopting him into her careless “motherhood” to begin with).
@@pory913 but even when she kept him she was a horrible mother, her son went to hug her and she pushed him away, that is messed up.
Her husband was upset because her son was watching people eat... “obsessed with food” yes, he’s a growing child that happens
Not just that but he came from an orphanage in China. He may not have had adequate food or food may not have been guaranteed--all of that will affect him and his outlook on food. It's so frustrating, they took zero time to truly educate themselves on not just raising an autistic child, but potentially a traumatized one as well.
@@MajesticMacaroon exactly, and I feel like she potentially added to that trauma by making him think he was doing something bad for liking food 🥴 unlike a lot of parents, they were able to & made the choice to add an autistic child to their household, yet they got annoyed with him because he was acting like an autistic child?? it’s bonkers
All of this breaks my heart. Especially as an autistic person with a history of trauma and little access to food as a child.
I wish this kid didn't have to go through this
@@connorscorner443 I agree, it’s so frustrating that they went in with zero knowledge on how to take care of him and abandoned him because of their own incompetence. It is at least reassuring to hear that he is doing well with his new family. And I hope you are doing well too, it’s no small feat to overcome past traumas 🤍
As someone who has Autism, it hurts my heart to see this child be treated this way from parents who were extremely unprepared to take care of him. Filming his meltdowns and duct taping his fingers together is very horrendous and shows she really didn’t care about him like she said she did.
I also have autism and I agree. Even the way she treated him when he was having a meltdown as if he was a spoilt child trying to get attention. They took him on like a pet and then just got rid of him when he become too much. I truly hope this little boy is doing well and he actually has a family who loves him now. He deserves it.
@@rhenaravanderhaar5414 it’s especially harmful when you realize she didn’t even care about him. She says she did, but if she did she wouldn’t have put him through all of that, and listened to the professionals when they said it wasn’t a good idea. I hope the child is in a home where his needs can be met and he’s able to get the help he needs 😓
not to mention 30h a week of *ABA*. that's almost a full work week of just ABA plus normal pre-school., which is often stressful for a child on the spectrum as well.
No wonder the kid was overwhelmed and tried to soothe himself.
I hope where he's know people are more empathetic towards him.
@@mathilda6763 ikr, and I heard ABA can be very traumatizing depending on which specialist you go to. I hope the child is in a much better place now
She fucked up
I wasn’t “ready for” my son’s level 3 autism either. But that’s parenthood. You don’t get to choose your child’s traits. This is how we know she thought of Hux as different than her biological children.
exactly. none of us know what we're doing. since when does autism have a manual? she didn't love that boy as much as her other babies, and that's why she just popped out another like "haha oh yeah & hux is gone." it's disgusting.
My axiety disorder was worse when I was a kid,we couldn't even go to restaurant when I was very very young because the noise would bother me so much, my parents adapted we ate most of our meals at home. They would change the TV channel every time a scary movie or scary movie trailers came on. I got better as I got older but even if I hadn't I know my parents would never abandon or give me up.
@@stephi1311 Them having another baby (presumably by choice but possibly an accident) didn't sit right with me if they were supposedly struggling so much. Why would the mom going through birth and the presence of a newborn be a good idea at that point? Like it's just taking away time and money from the existing child who she claims was costing too much time and money.
1. Her referreing to him as "nurse said there's nothing _wrong_ with him" and "he walks and talks like a _normal_ child" was a HUGE red flag.
2. Repeatedly saying "Are you done?" and "Are you over yourself??" at an overstimulated, overwhelmed autistic child is abusive.
3. All she ever cared about was self-aggrandizing and sainting herself, the "what disability is easier than it looks" post gave it away.
4. Her husband, though less insufferable because not on the soapbox, is disgusting and clearly resented the boy from early on.
I'm inclined to believe that James had a lot to do with the decision to adopt H because he was always in charge of the algorithm analysis aspect of the channel. Myka is not smart and she's especially bad at math.
The nurse would refer to him as "normal" because of his condition
What parent doesn't say things like "are you done" "are you over yourself?" "Be quiet before I make you be quiet" to their kid though? That's every exhausted parent. I don't like how she gave up on the boy, that I know is wrong but most of the way she raised him looks...common.
@@Em_Elizabeth yeah I mean she gave up. That's the main issue here
She probably wouldn't have been so 'exhausted' if she didn't make her money by using her children via recording them and posting **their** private lives for strangers to see and judge.
Or, you know, had gotten him **any** of the assistance that people literally begged them to get?
Giving him up would have been one thing if they hadn't literally been exploiting him, and had instead done it because they didn't understand what they were signing on for and thought that it would be easy.
It's so sad. That poor kid had to get used to living with these people for a while, only to be given back like an unwanted animal. I really loathe family channels, period.
Wanna start a crusade against them?
@@gremlinfifty2308 count me in. They need the amount of privacy their kids get. (including the loneliness.)
Here here on the disappearance of family channels. Thankfully though the little guy seemed young enough that he'll hopefully still be able to bond and grow feeling loved without this incident affecting him too muvh hopefully. Just glad he's in a better home and environment, away from the camera and people try to make a buck off him.
Sad for the kid but the much more powerful emotion for me is rage.
Yea I mean I’m adopted and like
“It is not easier with each kid… It feels harder with every single child I’ve had.”
So you mean to tell me that the more children you have to raise at once the more responsibility you have and the more stress you’ll be under?! That’s so enlightening! I never would have guessed that the more helpless tiny human beings you’re responsible for the more stressful it is!
Well now you know. And knowing’s half the battle 👍🏻
@@ruthsagers1714 The more you knoooow!
@@ruthsagers1714GI JOE!!!
Seems to be a issue a lot of very strict religious couples have. The men just want lots of kids and don't care about the physical and emotional toll it takes on their wives.
I know this video is nearly two years old but I just watched it today. I’ve known about the story since it became news in 2020 but I appreciated this thorough deep dive. I am an adoptive mother. My son was born with multiple heart defects, which my husband and I knew about before we decided to take him in. We knew that he would need open-heart surgery. We knew he would be in the hospital for a few weeks. What we didn’t anticipate was that he would end up having complications, he would nearly die, and he would require a four month hospital stay after which he would have lifelong developmental delays. The adoption agency didn’t anticipate that either, which is why we were asked more than once if we wanted to proceed with the adoption. Not once did we even consider backing out. Six months to the day after he came home from the hospital, my husband took his own life. So now here I was, facing single motherhood with a child who was developmentally delayed and would later be diagnosed with cerebral palsy. Again, I was told that I could back out of the adoption. Again, I never even considered it. From the moment I laid eyes on my child, I fell in love with him. And if he were my biological child I wouldn’t give him up just because things happened that weren’t anticipated. Today, he is 4 years old. He is still significantly delayed and probably always will be. I will have to spend the rest of my life caring for him because he won’t be able to care for himself. Do I regret not backing out of the adoption? Absolutely NOT. He is the light of my life. My pride and joy. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone. So I can’t muster any sympathy for the Stauffers, especially because they at least knew that Huxley had severe medical issues. Hopefully he’s now with a family who can manage his needs and will love him unconditionally the way any parent, adoptive or natural, should love their kid.
You are an amazing person for giving this child parents who love him and will never give up on him and just continue to care for him and love him as any good parent should do. I also want to say I am truly sorry about your husband. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that was/is and become a single mother, but still doing what you can to care for all his needs. I have a lot of respect for what you do and all you’ve been through. Much love and many hugs from Alabama. ❤
You’re my fucking hero
I hope you and him continue to grow and thrive with endless happiness. you are stronger than many other people could ever imagine. i teared up reading this, and i wish you both the best. as much as i would love to say that i would do the same i know i wouldnt ever be able to both mentally and physically. no matter how hard it gets i hope you are able to overcome it all, being this selfless is truly a blessing.
Omg 😢 this story broke my heart, I’m so sorry you lost your husband, thank you for taking care of your baby and never turning back even though it must be so difficult. I’m sure your baby loves you more than anything in the world ❤
"are you over yourself" - he is a toddler. A TODDLER.
And an autistic toddler 😭 what did they expect?
Not only that, he's a neurodivergent toddler.
@@avionpiscean33 as an Autistic person myself - their behavior is atrocious.
Edit: the behavior I am speaking of is that of the parents'
@@mbt9700 I imagine you also are not a toddler and have had time to figure out how to cope. Toddlers are already tough gremlins to take care of, but children who have special needs will also act out a ton.
@@MinatheRaichu hello, yes, unsure how this affects whether or not the child should be treated heinously... Which they never should.
This couple not only ignored advice from a professional who obviously knew better, and warned them it was going to be difficult. They instead went to one who told them what they wanted to hear. Then they bailed when they couldn't live in denial any longer. Its really just horrible.
Idc about them im just so hurt for that cute baby he is truly adorable they didnt deserve him
@@tamanone7918 I agree
Just sounded had a "Jesus will sort us out" feel to it. Always a red flag.
Exactly! That’s what angers me the most, they went to a doctor who told them there’s a good chance they wouldn’t be able to care for the child but instead of listening they decided to go to a different doctor that basically just said “Oh but he’s so cute! Yeah he’ll be fine.” Like what? How immature can you possibly be?!
"And I wasn't in denial..."
Yes you were. When you get told something by multiple professionals or field experts and you go against their word, that's denial. Thick headed woman...
Anyone else notice covid sent her over the edge? He had 30 hrs a week of behavioral therapy and private preschool...she never saw him. Then covid hit and she was stuck interacting with him and it was too much work. I agree he's better off without her but the whole situation is disgusting especially how she gushes she'll never give him away..
VERY good point and quite insightful. 💯
Mommy-vloggers value their children in _precisely_ the same way that pimps value their hoes.
The fucking practice should be banned by online content-hosting platforms and acknowledged as a form of felony filial abuse by governments-but, of course, there's way too much money in it for that to ever actually happen.
I wonder if this will be the thing that in the future and generations people will look back and say “what were they thinking?”.
@@aimzzz9382 if humans survive long enough for there to _be_ future generations.
Word!!!
I believe it has been brought up to the courts in France. I believe children of influencers are now entitled to the profits from the content, at least. You can look it up as I’m not sure I’m remembering correctly. It’s not a lot but it’s a start. Now I hope more countries follow suit.
We the people of the world need to keep exposing this behavior, yes, it will happen but we have to keep pushing against people like this!! She just didn’t want a child who wasn’t “PERFECT “ 🤮. No one is PERFECT! And that is ok!! 🎉
"I want a child that seems hard to raise but isn't. I want there to be a narrative that this pairing just sorta happened and that I didn't go looking for the perfect child."
What. A. Deranged. Narcissist.
Myka is narcissistic and she therefore she sees others as objects who she uses to further her own desires. She definitely uses her children as props. The fact she was actually saying Huxley "is not returnable" means she was definitely already thinking about not having him for long. For any mother to talk about how her child "is not returnable" is disturbing. She wanted Huxley because she thought he was terminally ill and she would receive a lot of sympathy, attention and validation not to mention donations if she was seen as a mother dealing with a child from China who she had adopted and was dying. Then she most likely thought after a short period after he passed she could adopt another child and go through more attention. When she learned Huxley wasn't terminally ill but autistic she didn't want to deal with his needs. We can see this with the fact she didn't bother to learn Chinese and instead made him sign which was easier for him but also meant only herself and her husband plus a few special needs teachers could understand his attempts to communicate and this made it easier for her to abuse him, including by disregarding his needs, and for others including other adults to not know what she was doing or what he wanted and needed. The duct tape on his hand is another sign of her abusive nature and not caring about his needs and she and her husband gave preferential treatment to their biological children. Once she was pregnant again and shortly after giving birth she decided she didn't want to deal with Huxley any longer so she dumped him like an unwanted animal. She's narcissistic and her husband's an enabler and both should be off social media.
Insane how people accept this
@@Adara007 Nailed it 💯
+Tempest Tossed
What a fucking excellent comment. Absolutely true.
100%
Family vloggers shouldn’t be monetized. Period.
@Egg T basically
Agree! Nor should they even be allowed. It is child exploitation. Children are not able to give consent to their private lives being broadcasted. No different from sexual activity.
agree its honestly pathetic but when they fall from grace i cant help but lmao at them
@@rebeccadelbridge2998 I think it depends entirely on the family and situation. Some vloggers don’t show their kids often but the content is geared towards family life. I as a mother have the right to show my son if I choose to. I think I have 2 videos that he is in but that’s my right to do. Censorship in this country is getting worse and worse. I do agree however myka should lose monetization.
You skipped over where the report states they inflicted ABA on the kid, a "therapy" that many autistic adults have spoken out about being abusive and traumatic. It could well have been the cause of increasing meltdowns and unsafe behaviours.
Also 30hours of ABA for a 4yo is almost a full time job for the kid. Ridiculous.
What is ABA?
@@little.tricks ABA stands for applied behaviour analysis, a form of "therapy" that uses positive and negative reinforcement to condition someone to act a certain way. You reward someone for desired behaviour, and punish them for undesired behaviour, and through association they are conditioned to act a certain way.
In the context of autism, ABA essentially rewards autistic children for acting neurotypical (such as holding eye contact, something painful for many autistic people) and punishes them for being autistic, such as stimming or talking about their special interests. It's harmful because autistic traits aren't controllable, but are simply part of who autistic people are, yet through ABA these traits are repressed, which has a huge impact on the mental health of autistic people as it makes you have to pretend to be completely different to who you are all the time ("masking").
There's also the fact that the punishments used in ABA can be horrificly barbaric and abusive, such as yelling loudly (when many autistic people find loud noises painful), physical violence such as hitting, depriving the child of food, and in exreme cases using electric shocks (which have resulted in the murders of several autistic children due to their use).
Sorry this is a long explanation, ABA is incredibly harmful yet is still held by many experts as the best way of "treating" autism, when autism isn't something to be cured or repressed.
My son had aba, it was nothing short of abuse. We ended it and my son has learned so much just by giving him understanding and not making him “work” the program. They use “statistics” to justify their abuse. I feel sick every time I see newly diagnosed kids look into aba
Just thought I’d chime in regarding ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) is very different than the therapy used 10+ years ago. I really wish they would change the name because it’s an umbrella term where not all therapy is created equal in this field. As an autistic myself, I have 7 autistic children and 2 actually attend ABA. I encourage people to research new therapies and learn about the techniques being used. I am in ABA as well from the same clinic and recommend it to other families. The old ABA was highly abusive and harmful and I’m sure there are centers still like that even now. But not all centers are the same and not all techniques are the same. Our ABA center has truly been a benefit for our family. We have no desire to change our autistic brains. We just want to be able to adapt to environments we find challenging. My children and I also deal with dyslexia and adhd in addition to autism, it makes some things difficult for us. But with our therapy we have been able to learn how to work through things with greater tools that level the playing field. My 12 yo and my 17 yo are in ABA and they made the decision to have this therapy. At any time they can decide it’s not for them as that is the choice I want them to make. As of now, they’ve been doing ABA for 2 and 4 years respectively. We are all different levels and require different approaches. I hope the discussion can be opened regarding ABA and that the differences in therapy can be shown so that people will be educated about it. ♥️
@@mynineandi not to be mean but goddang how many kids do u have
I’m not mad at her for giving up her son to a family that’s better equipped to take care of him and his needs… I’m mad at her because she knew what she was getting into and blatantly chose to ignore the advice given to her by actual medical professionals, and now this child has to deal with the repercussions of that.
She is the human embodiment of "Live, Laugh, Love" sign. Like a young wine mom using essential oils instead of proper medical treatments.
And ABA "therapy" of course. The Autism Mom(tm) classic.
@@ItsMeBarnaby 15:24 w/ her fake crying 😤
You realize most medical decisions are theoretical right? Its why they usually tell you to get a second opinion or to go to a specialist so they can make a guess. People act like natural medicine is evil lol. Doesn’t have 10-30 side effects per pills. Sign me up. Rather have some shaman in a tent try a few times before resulting to a doctor. One of the leading causes of death. Medical errors.
Stop being a puppet for big pharma.
@@Titantitan001 you do know what scientific theories are, right? Like, what the word "theory" means in that context
Yeah the one who is going to show you how you can live the "perfect"life lol The PerFect mother
I am an autistic girl and use my channel to advocate for autism understanding and accommodations. It is VERY typical for an autistic child to seem developmentally on track as an infant/young toddler and to have their developmental delays show later on. If someone is warning you that your child is autistic, you need to begin preparing for that. It WILL show at some point or another, even if it is later (mine became clearest during puberty). You really need to do your research. Love is fantastic but not enough to care for an autistic child- it takes work and practice and patience. Stauffer could have done more to prepare.
Thanks for telling us.
WE NEED TO LISTEN TO REASON AND EXPERT VOICES, NOT PRETTY PEOPLE SAYING SWEET NOTHINGS!
@@Ramsey276one absolutely. While a little bit of inspiration goes a long way, MOST important is learning how to take care of real needs
It's even worse when you consider that Myka was a registered nurse. She has made claims of even working as a pediatric oncology nurse. She doesn't even have the microscopic excuse of ignorance.
@@pyxeeful for sure. When you’re taking on the responsibility of having a young child with autism you sign up for all the hardships that brings
Subbed. As someone who hit puberty at 21 and developed autism around then... I can relate
The way myka punished the child for having melt downs makes me so sick and angry to this day. He was punished for trying to communicate, for struggling, for being uncomfortable, for being hungry. She continues to say "it's the principal of the thing we don't throw a fit to get our way" BUT HE PHYSICALLY CANNOT COMMUNICATE IN ANY OTHER WAY. Ugh this is old and my comment does nothing I just get angry listening to get talk to that child.
Right?? Complaining about the kid "wanting to get his way" with the bio kids on the lap, while H was in the rug, and the "parents" were being mean to him. Poor baby 🥺
She is disgusting! Shame on her for treating this child like this !
It's very disturbing. There needs to be laws protecting children from Internet moms trying to make a buck
As someone with a little brother on the spectrum, I've noticed several parents who have children with autism that they don't understand that their "tantrums" are not that. They have so much more difficulty expressing how they feel. My brother didn't start speaking at all until age 6.
Trying to exist without being able to communicate your feelings about things as a child isn't them throwing a tantrum. It's them being frustrated that they can't tell you what they want or how they feel. They get overstimulated really easily, especially stage 3. It's not easy to parent a child on the spectrum, but they need to understand that it's never going to be easy. But, they're still your kid.
I am considered to have mild autism, but I used to have meltdowns all the time and still do sometimes. It is horrible to experience, but my grandma always knew what to do as she worked on a sped bus. I couldn’t really communicate at all as a kid, sometimes I resorted to scratching myself and screaming because I didn’t know how to say I needed help. I still do the same thing, but quieter now because it’s still so hard to ask for help. I agree with you a lot.
I hate her going on and on about what he’ll teach her. He’s a kid, he exists beyond what he can do for you and your personal growth
yeah i couldn't decide why that bit was rubbing me the wrong way but that's definitely it
not if ur a narc🤷
fr, you can definitely learn from your kids but that’s not their sole purpose
its all her her her
I hope she learned to not be a clown
The fact that she keeps calling him ‘our son’, even after she gave him away. The second you started treating him like a burden was the second he stopped being your son. Sending him away just confirmed it.
This is how dictators are made
Veeery true.
FFS, I was less annoyed with my cat when he woke me up 2-6 times every night because he kept changing his mind about where he wanted to sleep.
It just shows that Myka never really treated Huxley like a family member, or someone important.
she doesn’t actually see that little boy as her son. she’s just used to telling everyone that to make herself look good. you don’t “return” your son.
Good point, but I have to disagree on one thing - that considering a child a burden makes him not one's child. That would virtually disown like ninety percent of children. It's wrong to present a child as such but all parents are thinking it.
@@Em_Elizabeth That's true to an extent but you have to note that OP said "treating your child like a burden" not thinking anything along the lines of how bothersome a child can be. Groaning about your child when they're being annoying is one thing, treating them like dirt because you're annoyed is another.
I hate parents that "can't" deal with a child with disabilities. If you can't deal with it, don't have or adopt children
i’m adopted as well and when my mom adopted me, she met a woman who also eventually sent back the child she adopted (because she managed to fall pregnant and she found herself loving her biological child more.) being adopted comes with a lot of emotional turmoil that, unless you’re adopted too, not a single person understands. the way these sort of people just give back a child and possess such a severe lack of understanding of the emotional impact they’ve just inflicted on a tiny person by doing this, on top of the existing emotional and developmental trauma, horrifies me to my core.
What angers me most is that she was adamantly told about the potential difficulty she may have raising him, but totally ignored it and now he is paying the price.
Imagine being a kid and watching your parents give away your brother because he's "bad". Her bio kids will no doubt be emotionally damaged from this. Myka and James are in for a rude awakening when their kids group up and are able to fully grasp what they did to that boy.
Or fear/dislike them when they think they will be given away as well
I am so sorry for those children when they inevitably have mental health problems that need to be addressed, as we all do at one time or another. The internalization of this experience HAS to result in fear of their parents finding out that they have problems, too.
@@juliejunkyardx agreed, they were already set up to fail in the mental health department the minute their parents decided to roll cameras.
Big oof here. My dad threatened to give my brother away as a kid and I still remember begging him on my hands and knees not to. I think I was like eight or nine. Daddy dearest is an untreated bipolar though, so what does that tell ya
They may never actually come to their senses about that. I have a feeling their mum has a way to cover it up or explain that it was a good idea. If she teaches them that autistic people are "weird" or "broken", she might be able to stop from becoming aware of her stupidity.
she has the "the only good anti depressant is going outside" vibe
Ah yes the "travel to a new location if you're deppressed" types. Slap them.
Oh i hate those people
In one of her old videos, 7 things to make you happy or something, she actually says to go outside and get lost in nature. So, she's certainly THAT type. Ugh.
Exercise can help with depression though
@@bennygohome4576 it can but not always. I know it doesnt help me very much
I love how they acted like the child’s condition might “make him have to live with us for the rest of his life” and they weren’t prepared for that….. any of the children they have now could possibly become disabled that they might also need the care of their parents into adulthood. When you decide to have a child you are also taking the responsibility to care for them in all facets possibly FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
As an adoptee and a person with a disability I can agree with this creator my mom knew what she was getting into and gave me all the treatment and more importantly love I needed to grow into the man I am today to quote my mom on why she adopted me "I just say two great kids and wanted them. In short my mom adopted me and my sister out of love not out of any gain for herself and I will always be grateful for that.
She returned that kid like he was a bad Christmas present with the receipt still attached
KEEP WAITING FOR THE REFUND SWEETHEART
XC
@Blue .Barrymore I agree and disagree with this comment. I think she probably really pushed for this adoption and like you said, just kind of went along with her. That being said, if you both commit to something then you both need to be in it for the long run. He is just as at fault for his role in this mess. Relationships should be 50/50 and I find him just as culpable.
Poor baby
All “I can get credit with this exchange at least right? It’s just that it was SO expensive. I don’t need my money back but some credit WOULD be nice!” 🙄🙄🙄🙄.
Like....GTFOOOOOO KAREN!! No give backsies!! Jesusssssss. 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Yup the father is at fault too
*Myka:* "My pet Asian was defective. I have returned it."
Oh my God, that is good and exactly what she said.
I need to speak with the manager, this small Asian Child isn't working properly, I demand a refund.
Truth right there!
👏👏👏👏👏
I totally read your comment in a Karen's voice. 🤣
All I’m saying is that, if he had been their biological son, they would’ve not gotten rid of him. So… was he really their son ?
Honestly, given how trash they were, if this were their biological son i have no doubt they would still have tried to get rid of him as much as they legally could (palming him off on grandparents, babysitters etc). They were simply not willing to raise a disabled child.
@@jazzycat8917 you’re right. They might have put the child in the system as well and “cried” about how they thought they were ready for a 5th child but “simply weren’t” and had to “rehome” the child.
As someone who’s autistic and moved as a child I can tell that it’s super stressful. I don’t think neuro-typical people realize how many little things stress an autistic child or adult out.
For me I didn’t even know we were moving out of the only home I had ever known for all of my 8 years until my mom called me while I was at my bio dads to let me know she had sold the house and started moving out. I never got to say goodbye to my home, my friends, my school, or my town and that alone upset me. I hate when people go through my things so the fact that my room was being shoved into boxes and I had no idea what was being thrown out really upset me. I ended up losing all of my care bares which were my first ever hyper-fixation. When I started at a new school I experienced bulling for the first time in my life which upset me even more and resulted in me getting my first set of bad grades which lead to me being grounded for the first time. Those bad grades and groundings would continue for the rest of elementary and all of middle school. It only stopped when I started online high school and had full control over my education without the distraction of bulling. From my perspective my entire world had been flipped upside down and I was being punished for struggling to get back up and adapt.
As an autistic, this case really got to me. It makes me angry how Myka was talking about H. having tantrums to "get his way" with eating. The kid was from an orphanage! And he probably didn't have the ability yet to see things in a timeframe! So for him, eating is now or never - who knows if and when you'll get your next meal. And how she says "are you over yourself?!"... Infuriating.
yeah, it really irritated me too. I'm studying developmental psychology right now and regardless of autism it'd be reasonable for a child to still operate based on their former environment with likely no secure attachments. So it becomes extra heartbreaking knowing that H. probably understands her and the situation even less than a young child at that age, and that it's NORMAL for children at that age to throw tantrums. They're not doing it to be "disobedient", it's because they're still learning how human interaction works.
Also, tantrums and meltdowns are not the same. And you can have a meltdown "over nothing". Such a meltdown is still a meltdown.
Yeah, she's an objectìveIy horribIe person.
@ebony b Not sure if you're correcting me. If yes, what did I say that was wrong?
@Toeps Even if a child doesn’t have developmental problems I still hate this kind of verbal interaction between adult and child. As a kid adults that talked like “are you over yourself” whenever I lightly disagreed with them or was legitimately upset made me feel like less shit. Like why is your method for de-esculating a situation basically egging the child on with something you have to know could make them be more upset???
Raycon Shadow Legends collab when
D'Angelo!!
D'Angelo!! Huge fan :D
D'Angelooooo
AYY
A man of culture I see
I think that the way Myka always talked about the child as if he was a project and not a person is truly disturbing.
She is definitely disturbing. These type of women sicken me.
Family bloggers shouldn’t exist. The children can’t consent to Being filmed and when they grow up mostly likely they won’t like what they see.
Yeah, your point makes no sense, lol..Like it or not, parents have the right to consent on their behalf until they're legally an adult.
@@ihatecommunism9958 that doesn't mean the child consented, tf?also, why would you name yourself and dedicate so much energy on something you hate?
@@ihatecommunism9958 Bullshit. Maybe they can kinda order me around since they feed me and give me a roof over the head, but going as far as deciding for me is kinda shitty. Legally, they have 100% the right. Morally tho, that shit isn't about to go down their way.
@@moralkombat66 It dooesnt really matter if the child consented. At that age, the parent holds power of attorney and can consent on their behalf.
And Communism killed we over 100 million people. What, are you Stalin lover?
I felt this way about home movies. Put that shit on the internet and you can write me out of your will.
Her: My child is not returnable
Her: *Returns the child.*
Not gonna like cause it’s at 69
Yeah, because she didn't see him as 'her child' it's sickening
Yeah that child was just a view count for her
@D Zuke definitely a 30 day return policy at least, glad she read the fine print after all 😔
It’s not easy raising an autistic child. My daughter was diagnosed two years ago. It is hard. You never know what will set off a “tantrum”. Something as simple as a crow can literally ruin her day. It’s harder on us because my husband is military and deploys a lot. Our family is 3,000 miles away so I don’t have help. Biological or adopted that child is yours, she said repeatedly that he is her son. You don’t abandon a child because it’s hard. You take a deep breath and keep going. If I can raise an autistic child by myself they could have done it. This was them being selfish and not wanting to “deal” with the child.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
I'm not adopted and my mother didn't follow through with her threats of giving me up for adoption - However I experienced a family situation I would consider similar to this because my mother was completely overwhelmed with me but was still trying to uphold the perfect image of the family even tho so many told her to stop abusing me.
I now 14 years later was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder which (for me) includes the fear of abandonment, trust issues and selfhatred. I struggle with this everyday.
Now I'm telling you all this because this kind of abuse - emotional neglect, getting abandoned by your own parents, bullying and any other kind of verbal abuse - is happening right before our very eyes
There will be a small asian boy suffering from severe mental health disorders maybe for the rest of his life because of these peoples actions.
They DECIDED to get a child.
Adopted or not it is their responsibility to take care of their need and they've failed terribly.
I am actually in a kinda similar situation! I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 19 and actually got re-evaluated like five years later. Turns out, I don't have BPD and I got misdiagnosed. Through cognitive behaviour therapy I got better and that showed that my BPD symptoms were just basically 15 trauma responses in a trench coat. I do have quite some symptoms still, but nothing that could be attributed to one single disorder and so I can't be diagnosed, although I do show symptoms from BPD, C-PTSD, ASD, ADHD, possibly even OCD and/or OCPD - just not enough for any single one to get diagnosed with anything.
I can't of course say that that's exactly what you are dealing with, but a lot of people don't know that diagnosis can change like that. So I just wanted to throw my two cents into the mix, because your story sounds related to what I dealt with.
@@niyah_uwu i was just about to comment that diagnosing a teen or child with BPD is awful. It's most likely their response to living in a dysfunctional home or struggling with trauma.
@@getschwifty5271 funny that you comment on this now... I got new tests done, turns out I DO have BPD. As well as C-PTSD and ADHD 🥲 so yeah. I wasn't 100% wrong in my comment, but also not right 🤣
Im fully convinced she would never had adopted the kid if it wasn't for her channel.
They did not legally adopt him in the USA apparently. Thats why they could "rehome" him without CPS being involved
Several people have theorised that the Stauffers really examined the CZcams algorithms, and that may have contributed to choosing a foreign child with a marked disability, as they saw it.
A good prop
@@nancyjay790 ofc yt now a days has become more of a investment than hobby turned profession people take topic study for months then bring big investment to blow.
Yep. The kid was a show pony-no doubt.
"We dont throw fits to get our way." That is literally a major character trait of 2 year olds.
Not just 2 year olds.....lol
Yeah, don’t matter what medical issues they have. 2 yr olds throw fits, you’d think they know that considering that they have biological kids of their own. And more then one at that
Absolutely
Oh my, yes.. My five grandsons are grown now…but I remember….
Totally… she reminds of the yoga moms at my kids school.
Wait. If she thought the boy had a brain tumour does that possibly change the outlook? If you thought the child was going to die soon and you would get to play the sympathetic mother for a while and then get rid of him that could explain why the timespan they could tolerate the boy was limited.
When they adopted him, he became as much their child as their other kids. To give him away like an object is so traumatic and evil, if I were her other kids I'd be so scared to even have them as parents... if I did something wrong, would they literally give me away like they did my sibling? Their other kids are not old enough to understand their parents only adopted him for clout online and to get subs, so it had to be really confusing for them
It's the fact that they chose to have a baby while their severely autistic child was struggling that is telling about how money/fame hungry they were. Responsible parents delay having another child or do not have more children in the interest of their already born children all the time. You can't always have your way, and sometimes you have to take care of what you already have first. But a 'family channel' like theirs doesn't bring in the clicks unless there's a new cute baby every few years...
Yup yup yup 💯💯💯
Absolutely! My husband and I have 2 children, our youngest is autistic. So we decided to not have anymore because both of our girls are going to need us to be more physically and emotionally available. If we have more kids we will have to divide that again...and for what? Cos we wanted more and more children? No sir!
I think if we had more children then our eldest who is neurotypical would of potentially had her needs neglected because our daughter with asd requires a lot and so do babies!
The behaviour of the Stauffers is narcissistic and neglectful! Disgraceful!
I agree in most cases, but for some families they have religious Hang-Ups about that. I don't understand it, but accidents happen and they don't believe in abortion and stuff.
Exactly.
You see, these kind of people are like Tiger King. Kittens make money, but once they get less cute, it's time to make room for more kittens.
This 2 year old boy had food insecurities and her reaction was “gross, I don’t like that he looks at my husband when he’s eating” instead of being sympathetic.. says a lot about this couple. How disgusting.
Yeah and also it’s strange that she cares so much?? Like I hate being watched while I eat but… like… he’s a child? Even though I’m super sensitive to being looked at any child is totally fine because I understand that they (whether they have autism or not) just tend not to gather social things as much as older people do and may not understand that looking at people while they eat isn’t always comfortable? Doesn’t it just seem weird? That poor kid… as awful as it is that they returned him it’s probably the smartest thing they’ve ever done as parents… im a teenager with no maternal instincts or children or like a great home life and *I* know this stuff… their ignorance is not only embarrassing but absolutely vile and disgusting.
@@lemoncardboard3270 Not to mention, children learn through observation. When they're that young, they engage in looking and mimicking. They're trying to learn the only way they really can. I don't like being watched either, but for someone that young, I'm more than willing to participate in a healthy learning opportunity. Heaven knows proper manners are going out the window at an alarming rate as it is. Teaching a kiddo how to eat and behave at the table is always a good idea.
Its truly sad. You could tell from rhe very beginning that she thought of him differently than she did of her biological children. She treated him like a nuisance rather than a child, and I feel for him and how he'll progress in life with his experience with her and her family. I hope he's doing well and finally being treated like the growing child he is rather than a tumor on her thigh.
She clearly didn't believe or practice what she said online. She was saying whatever it took to get fame. If that meant positive parenting, sure she will say that ad nauseum if it makes her popular. Her only goal was attention. For her. Only for her
It's obvious this lady didn't love her adopted child from the tone of her voice. Scary to me. What seems like common sense about any two year old, she's totally missing. Who raised her other kids?
I agree with your analysis, my only problem is that it seems like the “fathers” in these situations are always given a free pass. He made the same terrible decisions that she did, and he is just as responsible for abandoning this kid and opening him up to even more difficulties and abandonment issues growing up. Both parents are responsible for this disaster.
my son has autism and though i do engage in social media, he had made it very clear he doesn't like cameras and phones (they look like eyes) and literally nobody, even family knows i had him til he was 4 when he was ready to socialize. id never dream of choosing social media over his development. its hard but worth the sacrifice when i see him overcome something that made him upset like wanting a photo with Santa. i do have photos and vids of him when he isnt looking but they are personal videos not for the internet. i call them mommy moments so i can remember how strong he is
-Thanks her audience for respecting her son’s privacy
-Films several of his private meltdowns publicly
Ah yes, truly we are respecting his privacy. And they are respecting his. Very very good, Mr bright
Mr bright... i would be mad... but your right... ill make an exeption...
Another one to the list you can’t do
And they looked more like a tired, overwhelmed child in distress than a meltdown tbh.
When the foundation calls you immoral you know you done goofed.
“Are you done? Are you over yourself?” What a disgusting thing to say to an autistic child having a meltdown. She obviously has no idea how to raise a child with special needs. He’s not throwing “fits” to get his way. He’s having a meltdown due to routine being disrupted, sensory issues, etc. I sincerely hope that this child finds happiness in his new home, and hopefully Myka is never allowed to adopt again, as she is clearly unsuited to adopt.
@nobody wanna fake a video unlike shazz there's a difference between 'fits' and meltdowns. it's clearly a meltdown that he was having.
Not only that, I hope she doesn't breed any more. Imagine her biological kids growing up with the trauma of their parents giving their brother away because he wasn't behaving properly.
They are not equipped to handle a severely autistic kid and were not told of his disabilities from the beginning. So they did what was right, knowing they could not properly care for him, and gave him up.
@@astridvvv9662 ...they knew full well what his disabilites were. They specifically wanted a disabled child. What the hell is it with you people defending this absolutely vile couple ?
@@astridvvv9662 I mean, yea good they gave him away to a hopefully better home. But they used the "adoption agency hid information from us" excuse as their biggest defense and the truth is, a lot of times children may develop certain issues growing up. You never know what conditions your child may have, biological or not. If Myka's new baby turned out to be autistic level 3, would she "rehome" him? If he starts "being aggressive" towards the other children, would they "rehome" him? The truth is no. So their excuses were honestly invalid. They never should have adopted in the first place.
As someone who has studied child psychology and worked with special needs children, I understand the frustration and struggle. It is not easy and will require most if not all of your time to create the right environment for that child. Sometimes, it's not easy to admit that you are not equipped to help the child. That being said, I feel very uneasy with their story. It felt more of them trying to capitalize on their child having autism. When they realized it was too much, they just gave the child away. Again, I don't really blame them for acknowledging that they are not equipped. It's like what happened on the 90s when many parents in the US adopted Romanian orphans only to send them back because they couldnt handle the trauma that affected the children
honestly i agree sm about the romanian orphans comparison, i studied it in school (though mainly from the angle of how the kids formed attachments to their adoptive parents) and it was just heartbreaking :(
I honestly found out later in life that I'm autistic and I remember how'd I'd have meltdowns when I was younger like 10 or so and it wasn't something I chose to do it was overwhelming and I couldn't release emotions in a nerotypical way. So it's sad to see this kid be treated like he's having a tantrum rather than the parents being more caring giving the child a safe and stable environment for those moments where they don't record and monetize his meltdowns.
Can we all just agree that parents that force their kids to live in front of a camera are bad parents? It never seems to end well for the kids.
Yeah and usually this family’s has so many kids !! It looks like they are having kids to make videos about it !!
YES. CZcams allow it because there is money to be made since companies will jump on the band wagon and vapid idiots will watch as family channels are both relatable and aspirational. I think they are sick. Removing your child's privacy, autonomy and then immortalizing your efforts... the arrogance and disregard for your child wellbeing that these people must have...
It's already damaging to make your own life into content, let alone a child/children who never even asked for that
Kinda like daddyofive. It was all about the money, and getting a big ass house that they only had for like a year. Then they lost the kids.
Yes and their viewers are the one to blame too. Clowns love attention
I'm prone to believe that she actually thought, based on the information she wanted to hear and not all that was available (and based on her own statements) that she thought the child had a terminal brain tumor. For someone seeking attention and kudos, what could be a bigger sell? "You take care of him for a bit, he's covered by whatever insurance you have, and he's gone within a few years, all while you document your valiant saving of him and self-sacrifice". Talk about a double-whammy. She gets immense love for "selflessly" adopting a Chinese child with a brain tumor and will get 100x the love when he passes. Maybe it's cynical, but I don't think she "returned" him because he was autistic, but rather because he wasn't terminal.
Holy shit. Maybe that is it?? That’s scary as hell.
that's the impression I got too
of course you will get the worst impression possible when you watch a negative video about someone. That's the point. Do you also think she's ugly and dumb? Cause that's the only thing missing in your cynicism. People are a lot more boring than you think. But hey, everyone loves stories so you do you.
I love your channel 💞
that's a very cynical, but believable think to believe
Also go back on EFAP, you brought up some good psychology facts especially when it comes to video game violence, or how it doesn't cause people to be violent
the "are you done?" and "are you over yourself?" actually almost made me throw my laptop against a wall
As someone who has gone deep down the adoption path, without actually pulling the trigger, I can confidently say there are two primary questions you need to answer before adopting: 1. Is the adoptee a good fit for your existing family? As in are you in a position to absorb another human financially, and will the existing family members be negatively impacted by the addition? 2. Is you family a good fit for the adoptee? As in if the child has special needs, is your situation a good fit (e.g. the child is autistic and needs a calm environment, and your house is chaotic)? If the answer is no to either question it needs to be a hard stop. I don't think these folks fully considered these questions before bringing another person into their family and this is why it played out the way it did.
It’s so disgusting seeing her treat her son that way. She realizes autism meltdowns are a thing right?
My Angelic mother teaches Autistic kids. My mother is a rare person. She has all of the great traits of the English gene pool and no bad ones. Most of her kids are institutionalized. This lady had no business with an autistic kid. She comes across as narcissistic toward the child.
Toddler meltdowns are a thing. Even if he didn't have a developmental disability he would have meltdowns.
Exactly . He is a toddler and autistic. I myself am autistic, and I’m 12, and I still have meltdowns. I’m verbal, but it still is hard, even when it’s not as severe. So even if he wasn’t severe, or even autistic, he would still have a meltdown
@@5cene5pider You aren't alone, I'm a full adult and I still struggle at times not melting down. Especially when hyper-stimulated and unable to escape excessive stimulus.
@@Incrementium yeah. It sucks sometimes. Hope you do good in life!
I had a child at my daycare that was adopted from China. When the adoptive parents found out she was deaf and had emotional problems they gave her up. Praise God another couple who had a deaf son and were deaf teachers adopted her. They came to our daycare and taught us sign language so we could talk to her. They were a blessing for her.
they probably werent prepared to handle something that servere.
Or maybe they thought it was like getting a dog i dunno
why do people like taking china's unwanted kids?
@@GloomGaiGar They have rampant child trafficking or child abductions all around the country. It’s so notorious as their organ harvesting.
@@GloomGaiGar adopting from america is a lot harder, much more expensive, and the rules are very stringent. adopting from overseas is significantly easier
Omg I'm crying
As an adopted child who has been abandoned by their adoptive dad this is absolutely horrible and this boy deserved a lot more than he got from them
what rlly upsets me is that james is also a parent, but myka gets all the backlash. i understand that she’s the face of the family (channel) and so obviously most eyes r going to swing her way, but i still think james is just as guilty a party.
It's not just the mom that abandoned that innocent baby boy. The dad is equally to blame!
@James the title?
He was almost exclusively featured on her channel, not his, so it makes sense that the title focuses on her.
But 100% both their fault without saying
Yet his channel on You Tube has continued to thrive.
exactly. I get why myka gets the most hate in this situation since she is the owner and "host" of the channels dedicated to the family and responded to the uproar by herself on some platforms (instagram I think). but it's not fair to out just myka's name in titles and threads when james had just as much responsibility as a parent off screen or not.
@@yoonglebellz it’s cause ppl usually put more responsibility on women than they do men
I can’t wait for the generation of vlog children that disown their parents for being exploited and never really seeing any of that money.
itll happen soon. kids are already getting pissed about photos their parents posted when they were too young to understand. family channels wont be around for much longer i suspect
@Egg T are you high or just a bot? You're in almost all of these comments and I can't make sense of what you mean in any of them
If it happened with Jackie Coogan during the silent film era then it'll happen with this as well.
@@Romanticoutlaw bot!
Agree
15:25 she touches her face to check if the tears have come out yet, and then gets frustrated with herself for fake crying badly.
"Are you done?" that's such a horrible response to a child's meltdown. How does that help him learn how to regulate his emotions? It doesn't. It just shows him that you're not going to help.
“But this wasn’t just any family.”
I’m listening....
“This was a VLOGGING family.”
Oh no.
“She was the loving mother of FIVE children.”
Oh sweet Jesus god no.
🤣🤣🤣
the flashback
Someone give the first doctor a raise for calling it
“Yo this brain scan looks troubling, this’ll be difficult to deal with”
“Nahhhh lol it’ll be fine”
...it would not, in fact, be fine
The first doctor was honest and she would not listen. It's not so much 'calling it' but just saying 'hey, it's raining outside, take an umbrella'.
@@cyberpilate meteorologist 1: hey it’s gonna rain, bring an umbrella
myka: i don’t want to bring an umbrella ☹️☹️ i’m going to go to another meteorologist.
meteorologist 2: yes it will probably rain, but it’s sunny right now! you don’t have to bring an umbrella.
myka: yay! an opinion that matches what i want! i’m taking this opinion and trusting you 100%!
myka when it rains: no one told me it was gonna rain 😢😢
@@cyberpilate of course! I completely agree it probably took a ton of evaluation, they even told her she would probably end up surrending him and they were right. This was an educated 'i told you so'
They deadass went doctor shopping huh
I've just learned about this story and I'm just so shocked at the fact that they already had 3 kids before they decided on adopting, and that they really just thought they could power through all of that combined without doing months or maybe years of research and thinking their decision through? How careless and impulsive of them. I'm just glad the kid seems to be okay now and hopefully all his needs are being met by his family.
They're called the terrible twos for a reason. And it lasts a couple years. They never gave him a chance to fully be part of the family. I hope he's happy and thriving.
You missed some of the reasons that their actions were unacceptable:
-Many adopted children have a fixation with food because they come from situations where they could not be sure of their next meal. Apparently this was very annoying to James.
-The child, being non-verbal, mostly communicated through sign language, so taping his fingers together meant taking away his voice.
-Autistic children cannot be trained out of having fits. They are not dogs. An autistic melt-down is not the same as a tantrum, it is a complete loss of control due to being overwhelmed. Shaming a child for that is incredibly damaging and shows a lack of research, empathy, or both.
-Myka used to be a nurse. A NURSE. But they weren't able to accommodate his medical needs. He "needed more". Most parents of neurodivergent or sick children don't have medical experience or the money to buy a big new house, but you don't see them giving up this easily.
-The way they blame the son at every turn is disgusting. He cannot defend himself.
It seems to me that the Stauffers wanted "their son" to have a brain tumor. To most parents, autism is infinitely better than brain tumors because the former isn't life-threatening. With his original diagnosis, the child would likely either die early or miraculously recover -- both of which would make for exciting, emotional content.
Well said!!!
I am afraid you are correct about the brain tumor possibility. Cancer is felt to be the worst, scariest disease out there and the child would have been the perfect victim.
Not to mention if he had a tumor and it killed him, they'd get to keep up the charade
Yes.Youve said it all.
She was a nurse? Fucking really? And she does nothing but spout selfhelp bs to children that haven't developed a sense of "self" yet?
Was she fired? Has she had her license been stripped from her? Has she been frowned upon and disowned by the medical society at large? I fucken hope so
“Family vlogging” is child exploitation rebranded. Change my mind.
I agree
Well that’s just common knowledge
it is... impossible to change that. them's the facts.
Not gonna change your mind
It isn’t if kids are not involved that would make it better
The very very beginning scenery is *so gorgeous & breathtaking* - i
can’t get to the actual show, i keep rewinding just to see those few seconds! 💋
Thank You for covering this, how absolutely heartbreaking. A child is such a gift, You are the parent and it's up to us to educate ourselves and meet them on their levels.. And then the love will grow ❤❤❤
What annoys me the most is that she was warned about her sons condition before she even officially adopted and she just went to a different doctor until she heard what she WANTED to hear and just went with that.
Being told “no”, essentially, probably encouraged them.
I read somewhere she didn't complete the adoption when back in the usa, so was a foster carer, but claimed to be adoption. And chose a child with disabiltys because she was under the normal adoption age in China. Under 30 you can adopt children with disabilities. But have to be over 30, for non disabilities
@@pinknotthebarbie really? Never heard that before. Why do you have to be a certain age to adopt a child with or without disabilities?
@@holyboiamethin2790 according to the info chinese International adoption anyway. Dont know its a stupid rule. I think the only reason she adopted h was because she didn't want to wait for a few more years. Too much money to make. She could have asked anyone who has been around autism parents and siblings even autistic adults, who only truly understand. And to help explain it to our sides.(im a sibling and aunt to autism) medical books only give so much info. Living with it and being around it is different and not often documented. She could have been more educated, and help her other kids by explaining it before taking h on.sorry I have a passionate opinion on this one
"ReSpECt OuR PrIVaCy"
> Familly blogger exploiting her children for money
My eyes rolled out of my head
Yea the retiteion time must be alot
Those kind of peoples that bitch about their business and privacy yet have noooo respect values or respect for their kids
Her child my foot, her child till the copper rule came out on CZcams making it harder to monetize the chuld..but arill had the work of raising said child,...if someone labels a child with a crazy name for me the red flags go up...
That shits hilarious! Public life comes with public opinion and possible berating. Everything has its downsides.
I rarely tear up- But the 'are you my son' and with the sweet baby nodding, it made me just cry
i hope he´s getting big hugs from that new family
he deserves love and attention
I'm autistic, and while I'm on the more functioning side of the spectrum, if I had a mom that would shame me and film my "meltdowns" for the world to see like they did with their son, I'd probably be nowhere near as okay as I'm now
My goodness I am so so sorry you had to go thru this. My heart goes out to you
@@MelissaRae1975 well I'm fine, as a said above I was lucky enough to have a mom that cared and did none of the things theses people did :) thank you for your nice words tho !!
Same with me
U R lucky. Autism was not even commonly known about when i was born.
Hell yeah. What were they thinking? My son is autistic, and when he was a todler, he cried most of the time too, like this guy. I mean , he screamed crying when he nursed, because he didn't want people holding him. You just had to decide this is my child and go with it. To hear this woman claim to love her kid so much, made me want to slap her.You know, it's my son who taught me how to deal with these kind of people. He'd say, " well, he figured people would be like this anyway, and they were, so there you go." He says stuff like this all the time, and it's awesome.
Rule #1 of caring for children with ASD: NEVER treat a meltdown like a neurotypical temper tantrum. They aren't a brat, they just haven't fully developed the tools they need to advocate for themselves yet. It's just a frustrating for them as it is for you.
Exactly! that’s something I had to learn very fast taking care of my little brother with asd
Even at 13 I could recognise that his thinking was different to his other siblings and neuro typical people and I can’t grasp how full grown ADULTS can’t do the most basic research
I had 2 main thoughts while watching this: 1. She doesnt understand the difference between melt downs and temper tantrums (she seems to use them interchangeably) and 2. She used fucking ABA therapy??? No wonder he was having so many "problems". As another comment said, the best the she ever did was "rehome" him with someone who was capable of taking care of his needs.
"I put my kid into an abusive therapy daily and theyre acting up. I wonder why?"
@@hellomynamesninooo6017 FRRR
exactly, he was trying his damn hardest to communicate with her. if your child is melting down so fucking much that you have to cut him out of most of the blogs like she said, then something is EXTREMELY wrong with the situation and he is being extremely distressed and upset.
he’s not trying to ruin her vlogs or “test her family” he’s trying to say something. he’s trying to use his voice and you’re silencing him and putting him even more emotional destress.
@@bunnieovadamoon it's the same reason why everyone cries as a baby! We don't know how else to communicate that we need something, especially when we're the ones who don't quite know what we need yet. We just know something is wrong. The sound may be unpleasant, but it's incredibly important to pay attention to. You'll miss something if you don't.
I am so productive watching your long videos, this is great
I hadn't heard of this family or you until tonight. This was a fascinating story that you presented very well. Than you!