Why We Waited to Have Sex

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  • čas přidán 30. 12. 2018
  • In this episode of #HowMarriedAreYou, we share our experience dating and entering into marriage with only one of us having been a virgin. We discuss the challenges of abstaining while dating, and boundaries we set up to maintain that abstinence. We also dive deep into why we abstained from sex before marriage, as well as the challenges we had to overcome when married.
    Mentioned in our discussion...
    Yvette's Blog, Mrs. Melanin Exposed
    mrsmelanin.wordpress.com/2016...
    The book Glen mentions mention the book, Every Man's Battle, that helped him with his purity.
    amzn.to/2KLuCAV
    The book Yvette Mentions that helped her understand her sexual potential, Moregasms.
    amzn.to/2L5uQTD
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    Don't forget to follow us on Instagram,
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    / mrsmelanin
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Komentáře • 48

  • @crownjewel832
    @crownjewel832 Před 4 lety +29

    Churches and parents are really failing young adults by intentionally withholding and avoiding these candid discussions about the emotional, physical and logistical aspects of sex. The natural human body response to sex such as responsiveness, receptivity, or being closed off can also be influenced by upbringing, abuse or trauma history too.

  • @robbinsnest6163
    @robbinsnest6163 Před 5 lety +42

    I'm so thankful my hubby and I were friends before we dated and waited and were both virgins, however I can relate to Yvette! I had that same experience. I want to be the one to teach my daughters, when they are old enough, to save themselves for marriage, but knowing what I know now and what could have made my wedding night easier, I want to be able to pass that knowledge on to them. I want my son to be like his daddy. A one woman man! I want my son to treat women with respect and trust in God to bring the right woman into his life.
    I loved this video!! The honest, open dialogue was great!

  • @SoulSearch11110
    @SoulSearch11110 Před 3 lety +24

    You two were made for each other 💞

  • @SolidTruth4ever
    @SolidTruth4ever Před 5 lety +13

    I'm older and in this season. God bless my husband for his patience.

  • @2legit2quit39
    @2legit2quit39 Před 5 lety +40

    This was a necessary conversation. I think there should be a part 2 to discuss what type of boundaries you put in place while abstaining. Like did y'all only hangout during the daytime or in groups, did you have accountability partners? And how was sex not ever a discussion? I loved the airhorns every time Yvette spoke candidly lol keep speaking your truth sis.

  • @fatherswealth
    @fatherswealth Před 2 lety +3

    Thank you for being so honest about your feelings and experiences. I'm not a religious person, but I completely empathize with all of what you're saying, both of you. Yvette, as another woman, I would also tell your 23 yr old self, in addition to what you said, "good job listening to your body that first night." Its important for woman to acknowledge when we know what we're ready for and what we're not ready for.

  • @nikkichristinar
    @nikkichristinar Před 5 lety +5

    At 26:00 what the both of you explained is probably how a lot of men and women sometimes feel. Glad to hear a man's perspective about abstinence and purity.

  • @michigangirl4150
    @michigangirl4150 Před 4 lety +6

    this is the first time I have ever heard a couple, or anyone really, discuss this topic. I heard about this podcast from Kevinonstage and I am so glad I did. Keep doing what your doing.

  • @nefertitigeorge9578
    @nefertitigeorge9578 Před 5 lety +9

    So good, so honest! Thank you both for your openness.

  • @Dvinecreations7
    @Dvinecreations7 Před 3 lety +1

    Man!!! God bless this relationship over and over again! I’m struggling with this topic but I desire a relationship that is pleasing to God! I feel that there is a greater blessing in the obedience to God then in the falling to the temptations of our flesh! Glenn’s understanding of his role/leadership relating to intimacy is so beautiful! The two of them together is amazing!!!

  • @nicolegordon129
    @nicolegordon129 Před rokem +2

    The benefit in waiting to have sex prior to marriage is that your spouse is the only one to have ever had this precious gift handed to them. Also, there is not the comparison to other sexual partners. And as Glen said, there aren’t those soul ties with others. It is possible because with God all things are possible. God is able to keep you if you want to be kept and sometimes even I’d you’re not.

  • @b4real2me
    @b4real2me Před 4 lety +15

    You test drive cars, you try on shoes and you do walk throughs with real estate. You do these things with stuff... not people. It's gonna see how Tyrese view his opinions towards sex as his daughter grows and get to that sexual age. 👩🏾‍🦱

  • @tracyreadytv
    @tracyreadytv Před 3 lety +4

    21:15 - SO TRUE... the church needs to definitely fill that space with instruction, teaching, etc about the real, difficult and troublesome transition from going without sex, fighting that temptation for a period of time (whether thats all your life or several years) to actually marrying and being free to have sex. Its not an easy transition for everyone...but it certainly shouldn't be shameful or AS frustrating. I remember asking a similar question about this in a group premarital situation. In that particular session, they separated the men and women and I posed a similar question "what kind of advice do you have for the women who have been saving themselves for marriage and are transitioning into having sex regularly." The answer sounded like a 1st grader trying to explain molecular biology. She was like "well, yes. You have to please your husband so you have to do it." In that moment, about 3 or 4 years ago, I realized the complexity and nuance of that question was SOOOO off her radar that the church wasn't even CLOSE (at that time) to even discussing or entertaining or realizing this as a legit need. Traditionally, sexuality in the world and in the church has been about the man's pleasure and the woman's plight....and everyone has just kinda existed in that space and been ok with it. Times are a'changing.
    .
    .
    26:44 - Pleasing God. That's the real benefit. The thing is, culturally, back in the bible days, people married shortly after puberty and sexual desire started. So, with that, now that we're marrying MUCH older, we have to account for that extended lapse between the onset of sexual desire and marriage in our 20s, 30s and beyond with addressing it appropriately. And that practice in self control is HUGE!
    .
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    33:25 - AMEN and AMEN!!
    .
    .
    36:24 - that weird noise legit scared me lololol

  • @shechosen111
    @shechosen111 Před 2 lety +1

    I can't believe im just now being recommend these videos I could of used 2years ago I thought But in all actually they relate to my life today just as well. Thank you both

  • @thecrystallockett
    @thecrystallockett Před 2 lety +2

    This made me emotional. If it's meant to be I pray I find my equivalent

  • @Msmxwll
    @Msmxwll Před 7 měsíci

    😂😂 This is so funny to hear about the pot roast, considering yall just spoke about Glen trying to make it in one of your recent episodes.

  • @ohh318
    @ohh318 Před 4 lety +9

    ....1 Corinthians 6:18 is the verse that says not to fornicate.

  • @alovesjourney6104
    @alovesjourney6104 Před 7 měsíci

    So appreciate this topic!

  • @kianashaunice
    @kianashaunice Před 4 lety +1

    Hey Glen I would like two know where do you get your hats from? Love the family Channel and pod cast. Keep it going.

  • @followyourheart7766
    @followyourheart7766 Před 2 lety

    THANK YOU. You Guys are So REAL & honest about your experiences. My husband had the same problem i couldn't let him touch me & he was so confused what happened to me 😁 live and learn

  • @inez7609
    @inez7609 Před 5 lety +8

    I feel like Yvette is what i am going to be like. I plan on staying abstinent before marriage and I feel like I am going to struggle 😟

    • @Affranchie
      @Affranchie Před 4 lety

      I guess if you talk about enough to remove the stigma of having sex, and understand that sex in marriage is of God, you might not struggle as much. It might be awkward at first, but at least you won't be afraid or ashamed when the time comes

    • @iraflora1616
      @iraflora1616 Před 3 lety

      Inez same girl sAME!!

  • @modernchocolatechristians1908

    Sadly, 'kingdom marriages' are breaking up over sexual issues. Sex is an important part of marriage that should not be minimized or ignored. I'm so glad that I was raised Baptist and we didn't have these issues. :) Joking aside, church culture is messing people up spiritually and physically and it needs to stop.

  • @la-nekabrown6825
    @la-nekabrown6825 Před 4 lety +5

    No SEX talk. 🤦‍♀️ MAAAANNN....Oh no. Thank you all for sharing your experience.

  • @ANTHONYJOHNSON-ot6ck
    @ANTHONYJOHNSON-ot6ck Před 3 lety +1

    Great Pod Cast

  • @chrisisslick
    @chrisisslick Před 3 lety +5

    I respect their decision to be abstinent before marriage, but I just don't know how you have no talks about sex at all or know if someone is a virgin before that time.

  • @ladyj5682
    @ladyj5682 Před 2 lety

    Great episode

  • @priscillaxsafi
    @priscillaxsafi Před 2 lety +1

    Yessss talk about it!!!!

  • @morventodd8187
    @morventodd8187 Před 4 lety +3

    A company called Moral Revolution is a Christian company that teaches on sex, church, culture and relationships. If you've never heard or it, it may be good to have a look.

  • @emjay4217
    @emjay4217 Před 3 lety +2

    You said 6 years, so did you'll take 6 years to find a rhythm or for things to flow properly in the bedroom?

  • @keahharrison4765
    @keahharrison4765 Před 2 lety

    I loved this video. I too am celibate right now until I find my husband. I must say though this video was too funny 😂😂😂😂

  • @peetryman1
    @peetryman1 Před 4 lety +1

    Cool peoples

  • @missbunie8790
    @missbunie8790 Před 5 lety +4

    Did you guys like kiss or touch though ... I am not married but I would like to ask some questions do you have an email 😁

  • @recipebandit3563
    @recipebandit3563 Před rokem

    You could make fajitas with leftover pot roast.

  • @robinf858
    @robinf858 Před 2 lety

    Do a lot of four play and relax

  • @robinf858
    @robinf858 Před 2 lety

    Bring different objects in the bedroom

  • @Sidthekid108
    @Sidthekid108 Před 2 lety +2

    sexual coercion = sexual assault / rape
    Since consent given under coercion isn't freely given, it doesn't count as consent. It follows, then, that coerced sex (when it involves penetration) would count as rape, even if the other person didn't use physical force or violence.

  • @moramao970
    @moramao970 Před 3 lety

    The descriptive linen weekly park because layer simplistically kneel despite a meek cheque. combative, spiffy poppy

  • @chanelgodiva2450
    @chanelgodiva2450 Před 3 lety +4

    Is she asexual?