Get Rid of Self-Limiting Beliefs 27/30 How to Process Emotions
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- čas přidán 22. 09. 2021
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In this video you’re going to learn how to let go of self-limiting beliefs, how to stop labeling yourself, how to stop getting stuck hating yourself, and how to find a healthy sense of self.
The labels you give yourself, whether you call yourself broken, stupid, bad, or even if you give yourself positive labels, these are just like painted-on cattle guards: they are self-imposed limits. And today, I’m going to teach you one way to let go of them.
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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love www.churchofjesuschrist.org/c...
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I feel like listening to you for 15 minutes is more helpful than speaking about my problems for an hour with a therapist. Thank you so much for being a positive instrument of God.
Can totally agree! Her advice is better than that of my therapists
She's a great teacher.
She’s a therapist,lol
@@kingd4500 yes, she is, but in this role she is teaching, not doing therapy. People can be more than one thing.
@@christinechapman9764 You are right about multiple roles, which was my point. Being a teacher is an important aspect of being a therapist, just as being an advocate for clients or being a holder of a safe space. A therapist being a mental health professional should be educating clients on mental health to help them understand their own mental health in a way that helps them think and behave in new ways that promote healing and a desired way of experiencing life. My point of pointing out that she is a therapist was to highlight that therapists educate clients the same way she is educating people in this video and that the lack of this type of experience in therapy has more to do with the actual individual therapists (not the right match) and not therapists in general.
1.Notice how you label yourself write them down.
2.Try to step back from them. Practice watching thoughts.
3.Explore these labels
-ask yourself Which one of these are helpful or which one of these beliefs getting away of change or grawth.
-hilght the labels that serve as an excuses for you.
4.Consider changing these labels by positive mindset.
5.Get a perspective of a therapist or a safe friend.
6.Let go of false sources of self- worth like perfectionsim, approval, comparison...
7.spend less time obsessing about your identity and your ego and more energy focusing on your values.
Thank you ❤️
Despite its biological consequences sibling marriages still take place in certain parts of the world. Spread this video to stop it czcams.com/video/v2wDriJxAxY/video.html
Thanks for the summary. 😊
Emma, thank you for this relevant and timely content!
Thank you!!
I wanted to add that on my kindergarten report card the teacher wrote in a note to my parents, "Ginene is very anxious for such a young child." I'm 70 years old now and instead of saying that I'm experiencing anxiety, I've been telling myself that I am an anxious and depressed person my whole life. Wow!
She is strangely, spookily wise for such a very young person.
I don’t need personal therapy because this channel exists ❤
This helps with illnesses too. "I have trouble with xx...but i am not the illness."
I wonder how many of these comments you read?
Anyways, I wanted to thank you. I had my life changed by therapy back in 2019. I was having a difficult time with friends, family, and feeling like a failure, but managed to grow past everything and develop this sense of peace. Last year, that sense of peace ended up slipping away from me and I ended up struggling, once again, with friends, family, and feeling like a disaster. I was put on a waitlist for therapy, but I'd have to wait months and I was in crisis mode. I am so, so grateful that this playlist is here. Your advice and guidance allowed me to rebuild who I am and set me back on course to who I want to be. I've been recommending it to people in similar straights as I was in.
It's also small, but I find it interesting when you bring up your relationship to your religion. Each time God comes up, I feel my own hackles raise because I'm so used to people trying to take every opportunity to proselytize. I was raised evangelical, but turned out queer and atheist, so you can imagine where that stress comes from. While I don't imagine that I'll be able to let my guard entirely down, I do appreciate how your beliefs come across as both incidental and sincere. It's pleasant to be exposed to someone who lives by kindness when all my life I was exposed to faith being a weapon. Thanks again for everything. I do hope your God blesses you. :)
What you said about her beliefs come across as both incidental and sincere brought to mind a metaphor I incorporated in my thinking some 20+ years ago: "Silent rivers run deep." People who have absorbed their religion and are at one with it tend not to trumpet their religious beliefs, instead making only occasional reference to it. Likewise, rivers that have been around for extended periods of time usually manage to carve deep into the landscape they flow in, creating depth to their existence and minimizing the sound their water makes as they gingerly meander along. Younger, less established rivers are far more limited when it comes to the space the volume of water is given to flow through, usually generating more sound as it scurries over rocks and ground that may be but mere feet or inches below the surface.
Been labeling myself saying "I'm a failure" "I'm stupid" "I'm an idiot" "I'm a bad mum" This has opened my eyes. I'm definitely keeping a check on it now
Okay, bawling my head off. Asking my Higher Power how do you see me? I was overwhelmed with such a strong sense of love, I almost couldn’t bear it. ❤🎉
Emma...I stumbled upon your videos and I can't thank you enough. So many of these skills are exactly what I've been needing. I especially love that you are a Christian. How cool is it that God's word authored so many, if not all of these skills you teach. He knew what we would need! And he raised up people such as yourself to present the concepts in a clear, methodical fashion. Thank you for what you do. You are making a difference! 😊☝️💛
I love that your a spiritual person. I have not found many doctors that are in my area. Your a jewel. Thank you. You have helped me so much.
I'm teaching a friend of mine Irish, and something you said reminded me of what I'm going to teach her next week.
In English, we describe feelings and emotions as things that we are; for instance, "I am happy", "I am hungry", "I am worried", etc. But in Irish it's phrased a little differently: "Tá áthas orm" literally means "Happiness is on me." "Tá ocras orm": "Hunger is on me." "Tá imní orm." "Worry is on me." and so on and so forth. These feelings and emotions don't make up the entirety of who we are, as the English language implies; they're just things that we experience for a time, that come and go like leaves or snowflakes falling on our head, as Irish more accurately gets at. (Not a criticism of the English language btw - I just love the little differences between languages that make life more interesting!)
Your video was a really good reminder that we don't have to believe the stories that we tell ourselves, and that even if we do have some very real limitations with our circumstances or state of health for example, we can still choose to focus on what we can control and on what we're grateful for. Thanks a million for this series, or as we say in Irish, go raibh míle maith agat! :)
Yes! Same with spanish, how we use our words impacts how we think and feel, great example!
Same in Hindi as well ❤️
I love this! Going to try to remember this and redirect my thinking.
Beautiful sentiment. Preserve the Irish language
Same in French, the auxiliary verb is often “to have,” rather than “to be.” You would say I have hunger, rather than I am hunger (that would mean you’re the literal embodiment of Hunger itself😂)
Emma, thanks for sharing this message of HOPE and not allowing us to wallow in our broken past. I am a new creation!
So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.
2 Corinthians 5:16-19
Really good video, I'd give it 5 stars if that were still a thing on CZcams.
Instead of saying "I am an introvert" I like to take on an observer viewpoint of "I have parts of me that are as a social animal, and enjoy having food, water, and a sense of community"
nice!
That’s awesome.
Woah, that feeling of predestination is something that rules my life, I'd never seen anyone articulate it so eloquently and I didn't even realise it was a common experience🤯
This is so powerful and eye opening thank you very much for this!
I like to use the shirt metaphor when I start judging myself as well as others. I ask myself: am I this shirt? Obviously no bc I can change my shirt if I feel like it- it's totally my choice. I can wear a red shirt, blue, etc. Thoughts work the same way. When we identify with our thoughts, it's like identifying with our shirt- it doesn't define us and we can change it if we so choose to.
To change our reality, we must see that the judgements we place upon ourselves are the same judgements we place on others, and vice versa. Life is a mirror. When we treat ourselves with unconditional love, we do so to others as well. However, never pressure yourself to be more loving, for that too is a form of judgement. Rather, write down the consistent beliefs and thoughts you tell yourself and determine how someone else would feel if you told that to them or even someone who is experiencing the same specific challenges as you. Like a passing cloud, thoughts come and go. Just take a deep breath and let them pass. They always do. If you were your thoughts, when they fade, so would you, and yet you remain. You are more powerful than you realize!
this is beautifully written!
This is really eye opening thank you 😄
Whoa! 🔥💪🏾🔥💪🏾
This is so beautiful, I must confess ve just spoken direct to me I need to pick myself up and start doing the right thing. Many thanks Ms Emma Lots of love from Uganda.
Not me having to check the title of the video again after you jumped straight into talking about cattle guards and agriculture 🤣🤣
For real though, these videos have actually been a godsend during the pandemic and have been helping me so much as someone who can’t afford therapy rn and is living in lock down. I’m taking notes during every video like a good little student 😅 Thanks for making these lessons freely available and always taking the time to explain topics in depth. It’s been helping me more than you’ll ever know and I suspect it’s the same for a lot of other people watching too. You’re a gem!
Love it - same experience
The best video on CZcams about limiting beliefs! 🙏👍👌
Painted cow cattle guards is about the best analogy I have heard, ever! You are so creative, Emmal - love it. Thank you!
You do know just by discussing these things and also your anxiousness topics you're not only helping us and my friends( I actually recommend your channel everytime) you're also making other people whos so deep in the "dark" inch by inch understand themselves and even saving a life.
THANK YOU FOR THIS I dont know about the others but I am so thankful your channel exists
Be safe and healthy thank you :*
sending digital hugs and love from Manila
Love your easy to listen to style and amazing content.
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I can’t express how much your channel has helped me.. I have watched your videos when I feel I have nothing left and just want to give up and you always give me good tips and advice. I can’t thank you enough
A better help commercial on Facebook had phrase "I have emotions, I am not emotion " and truly seeing myself as observer of my emotions instead of being my emotions was amazing.
Omg you are like a modern healer.
After this video was over I was able to listen to my thoughts and I recognized I was setting myself up for failure. Wow just wow.
You literally made it so I could let love in and rationalize my thoughts and emotions. You are an angel!
You are really easy to listen to and I learn so much from your videos.
My relationship to my mental health has improved a LOT over the past two years. But as everyone does, I still have my wobbles. I return to this video the most in those moments like revision. It reminds me about how I frame my wobbles to avoid me becoming too cynical about how I'm feeling
Emma, thank you, thank God for you...more grace to you & through you🙏
I wish I heard this 20 years ago. Beautiful. Thank you❤
You had me at “I am a daughter of God” thank you
Wow, I’ve been watching your videos for awhile and it just never really stuck to me, until this week. I have been dealing with depression for so long.. I got so sick of my life being terrible and I’m trying to get up again and get out of these labels and self limiting beliefs.Thank you for the encouragement and knowledge.
I don't understand all you said but I got this point what you say. I just new learning English skills and I am struggling with the self-limiting belief I hope I can speak English fluently to translate your video into Indonesian languages. anyway, thank Emma your videos give me warmth and gratitude.
Your videos have helped me a lot. Glad to hear you're a child of God!
What kind of therapist are you? e.g. CBT, psychodynamic, IFS, ACT etc? Your way of explaining emotional issues across all of your videos is the best I’ve seen on CZcams and clearer than in-person therapy that I’ve engaged in.
I always learn something new here! :-) It hadn't occurred to me that positive labels could also be limiting! Thanks for that :-)
Thank you so much Emma ...I am guilty of labelling myself as an anxious person or an overthinker. Now I can learn to say to myself...sometimes I overthink and sometimes im anxious or sad or lonely.
Thank you Emma.... And for spreading the word of God.
Love from South-Africa
I love her semi-deep voice. It’s beautiful and relaxing.
This was A VERY helpful segment !!
This is better than my 1year therapy
I do the "I'm better than" comparison all the time. I think it originated from me competing constantly in sports when I was young. Only over the past year or so I've started to see it as an unhealthy way of thinking. This video really confirms and accelerates my motivation to change. Thank you
you-tubers like them deserve so much more subscribers, amazing work keep up
You are so kind
THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO!!
My PHP (virtual) used this amazing video. The quote at the beginning knocked me over! The way you present the material makes it a logical process, and it's so accessable! I can't wait to start watching this whole series. I think I'll even use each video as an art prompt for afterwards! Thank you so much!
That wall exercise is really helpful for me. I think I may have some kind of disassociative disorder. I experienced death in the family when I was a teenager and that caused me to explore spirituality. And I think it led me to disassociate with reality. So I have some issues where I think things are talking to me when they're not talking to me. So like when I look at the wall I have trouble looking directly at it. It feels like I am the wall.
I have a major decision to make in the very near future. The illustration of the cattle guards brought everything into focus. Will I let my self-limiting beliefs decide for me or will I choose which nature to water? I've been deliberating for days about this decision and in less than five minutes with Emma I know what I need to do and where to place my focus. Thanks Emma.
I almost stopped watching your videos because of your beliefs as a Mormon. I’m so glad I didn’t. I do believe differently, but I know you have so much knowledge to help me heal. Thanks so much for your content❤️
Despite its biological consequences sibling marriages still take place in certain parts of the world. Spread this video to stop it czcams.com/video/v2wDriJxAxY/video.html
Loved this video. I am struggling with beliefs of superiority at work and it's been causing me to experience constant feelings of anger. This helped!
Good on you to have such great insight!
This video came out at the right time! I was wondering why I don't have a solid identity and keep changing them according to the person that I want to please. It was insightful. I love "I am God's child" identity coz nothing can shake it. Can you make a video on how to have solid faith in God from psychological perspective? My faith in Him keeps fluctuating whenever I face obstacles in life. I want to get close to Him and hold onto him even when I face challenges. By the way I have BPD so that explains my splitting with God Himself! And about smartness as identity, I believe that the definition we give to it matters. To me being smart is being aware that I don't know everything and the willingness to learn. Thank you for your work. It's really helpful to understand myself a little more each day.
Despite its biological consequences sibling marriages still take place in certain parts of the world. Spread this video to stop it czcams.com/video/v2wDriJxAxY/video.html
I just want to say tank you ❤ l learn lot's of thing because of you and I try to cure my depression and fight it . I watch your video's and practice to become a good person and creat the happy life !!
Thanks for your video's ❤❤❤❤
Thanks Ghazaleh, keep up the good work! it adds up over time :)
@@TherapyinaNutshell ❤
This is brilliant - it made me cringe just to hear it and accept that I do this all the wrong way around both on the positive side and the negative side - wow, so logical - and the message was delivered so gnetly.
(insert GIF of my mind being blown) ... BAM!!! 👍
I can’t thank you enough, I was able to separate from my thoughts and see my labels more clearly. I was aware before I am the observer but this time I was aware of my ego as well, telling me it’s not safe explore all the negative things I think about. I was able to control it now by saying “no I choose growth”
One thing this way you talked about does, is takes the focus off of yourself, so gets rid of or reduces the pride. From the way you talk you sound like a Christian so that would make sense to you. Very helpful, thank you.
I just want to say thank you. I appreciate that you are a member of the church and you aren't afraid to let that come out in your videos. Your topics and messages have been very helpful for me. Have you considered releasing a course with regards to healthy eating? I realize that my eating habits have taken a nose-dive in recent years and when I try to make even the most incremental of positive changes, my brain rejects the thought and I get even worse in my decision making! I'm sure this isn't anything new but would be interested in a course to help me change my thinking.
lets everyone make her 2m subscriber she is just amazing
I love the advice pointing out our all-or-nothing thinking about the kind of person I am…I am a smart person, I’m a hard worker. I did t think about how even positive labels are limiting. Some of my labels are defensive/protective, I’m not analytical and others are arrogant, I am a risk taker. You’ve given more to explore. Thank you
Emma, your content is superb. I found your videos as companion pieces to the therapy sessions I presently attend. This video in particular cuts extremely close to the bone, as it hits so many points that I saw myself in practically every scenario you discussed. My struggle with finding a healthy sense of self has been lifelong (I'm nearing 50) and, only within the last six months, have I started to realize the damaging behaviors I put myself through and how much I clung to equally damaging labels. THIS video--if I may use slang from today's youth--hits different. Thank you for sharing your gift with us, and in particular thank you for THIS video that I will use on my path to healing.
Thank you so much dear therapist, you're so wonderful, I can listen and assimilat your teachings rapidly, I'm so grateful for your great work 🙏💖
Thanks for this video! I now see I've said for years I'm an anxious person and that's not helped me to grow or move forward.
Yeah! You're a person who experiences anxiety (and a whole bunch of other things)
Me too! It helps to close your eyes and feel exactly where the anxiety is. It separates you from the emotion and just notices it :)
Thank you so much for this video. it was incredible. i learned so much about myself. that example about thinking your smart really hit home because i often think about myself this way and feel so uncomfortable with being in spaces where i don't feel smart, so often times i'll avoid these spaces all together. this one belief about myself has not been helpful at all. i've missed out on so many opportunities to learn new skills.
I just wanted to thank you for what ypu're doing you're helping me understand myself better and deal with my anxiety and stress . Be blessed
7:20 is such a universal principle in evolution and in life.
What is a good and useful label in Stage N of development (or recovery) can be a hindrance in Stage N+1.
For both development and recovery, we need to realise this fact.
It is very useful to keep a journal of what works at what stage - Suppose recovery has stages starting from 1 and ending at 10 (completely healed). Now, because people get relapses, they suddenly go from Stage 8 or 9 to Stage 3 or 4 and this completely throws them off the recovery path because the techniques applicable in Stages 8 or 9 which they were practising suddenly don't help at all. Instead, something they had completely forgotten about - a technique or label in they used a few months ago in Stage 3 or 4 comes in handy and not only that, they have to, and can do, speed through the recovery techniques of Stages 4 to 8 to get back to the point before the relapse.
Somebody might already have made this, but if not, someone should make a chart of stages of recovery and techniques used at each stage. For each major illness or disorder. However, the tricky thing is that the techniques of a future Stage cannot be revealed to someone in a an earlier stage because they could mess up their recovery by impulsively or hastily, misapplying a Stage 8 technique to Stage 4 and thus mess up both Stage 4 and Stage 8.
This information is extremely helpful. Thank you so much!
I love how real you are. I love how in detail you explain things.😊
Will definitely check out others as well, but this certainly resonates with how I may be labelling myself without even being aware that I am. As always, thank you again for being you!
Kind regards to you and yours. Stay well!
Beliefs are very powerful in the realm of human existence. They can either create or destroy. It is akin to a fire so to speak. We know that fire can provide light and heat when properly harnessed. But it can also burn out of control when untamed.
My point of view is: beliefs and fire both appear to have similar elements as an alchemy for the transformation of life.
Thank you so much for the beautiful work lots of love and prayers from Egypt
Love your calming voice Emma ❤
I am Anusha and I like to learn and grow. I love this sentence.
Thank you for sharing and teaching. These are things we are working on to build a foundation with our children and by default healing our own disabling beliefs. Growth mindset is such a powerful and Grace filled tool ❤️
I have had controlling parents who would tell me that I'm a short man no lady well ever fall in love with you, so I have believed this for the past 20 years of my life 😭
Your parents are flat out wrong. Women aren't a monolith, different women have different preferences and different stuff even cared about in the first place
Thank you! Very concise and to the point. Great examples too 👍🙂
Thanks!
wow this video is extremely profound!! Love it
Amazing course! Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge !
Thank you for this information and love. God bless you more abundantly in JESUS name. Amen.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I really DO APPRECIATE your videos, THANKS FOR ALL THE FREE Therapy ! BE BLESSED!
Your definition of “experiencer” or “observer” was rather profound as this seems to happen in dreams often where I find myself playing both roles simultaneously. I am experiencing something in a dream, and then I am watching what I am experiencing at the same time! This has lead to some amazing revelations upon awakening. I have referred to the “observation” aspect as “my higher self”.
Love this channel, thank you for the great videos ❤️
Very helpful and insightful videos from your channel, Ms. Emma. Thanks a lot for providing us with such accessible advice :)
Glad it was helpful!
This is so me....extremely good at self limitung myself I was never like this before ..but lately i keep finding a million excuses not to excel than find one major reasom to thrive
This is a very helpful guide. I'd buy the course if I could afford it. Thank you so much for giving me part of it here on CZcams.
as i was doing the exercise with the wall i started to cry as if my inner emotions were released
I really love your videos because they agree with God's word. I am very careful with psychological videos because most of them are based in human philosophy. I want to share this to my teenager son but I want to listen to it first. When you mentioned your identity. Amen! That's ours too! May God bless you! Greetings from Germany.
Didn't god give us psychologists and the ability to like, think and stuff? Not that all psychological methods are helpful for everyone but..?
Despite its biological consequences sibling marriages still take place in certain parts of the world. Spread this video to stop it czcams.com/video/v2wDriJxAxY/video.html
Such a strong and powerful message. Too often we enter into a vicious cycle of self-limiting belief. Absolutely love your channel! Sending you loads of positive vibes ☮️💟
Predestination definitely what I deal with I quit things because honestly I can always say well I’m not successful because I quit instead of finding out im really not good enough
I'm can learn and grow
Self as an observer
This should be required teaching in school.
that little excercise of noticing yourself made me dissociate for a second
Dear Emma, thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. Regards from Germany.
Wow......this makes sense why "positive " labels still seemed to trip me up. It didn't make sense to me til now!
I watch ur videos on a daily basis it means a lot I am grateful
Hi Emma, probably you won't read this, but I'll try anyway 😀. I love your videos about self-limitation and rigid thought patterns. I am searching for your views on the element of having a physical handicap, which can feed limiting thoughts and feelings of helplessness. How to manage one's self-limiting, negative thought patterns when one has a physycal limitation which is definite? Thank you and greetings from the Netherlands 🙏. Anne
You are amazing Emma. Ty for putting your knowledge out there for us to listen too… you are an amazing child of God and I appreciate you sooo much
thankyou
Your videos and tips are great. the cost of living is so high and seems increase weekly. Grateful for this and sharing with others! Best health to all
I watch your videos at least 2 times, as if they are recorded for me ,, thank you for helping people ❤
@therapyinanutshell Thank you so much for this! Perfectionism is one of the biggest drivers of my anxiety and self-sabotage. Could you make a video about how to overcome perfectionism? It’s even been hijacking my goal of building a fulfilling life and it’s frustrating. Thank you 💜 💜 💜
Thanks for the great talk and God bless you and your family! Back again, great to review And reinforce lessons learned.
Idk how i can thank you for this course but iam really greatful for it words cant express my gratitude
Thank you so much for this course
It Helped me understand my depression anxiety and beliefs and why i was not able to feel emotions
You are great
I would have to have you in my head daily!" So much wisdom, thank you! 💖