redditors confess it all

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  • čas přidán 8. 05. 2024
  • Get some EmKay merch at emkayshop.com
    Top posts from r/Confessions on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at / emkay Video credits below.
    Narrator ► / @damienlee
    Also check out:
    r/DontYouKnowWhoIAm | Houston, we have a problem.
    • r/DontYouKnowWhoIAm | ...
    r/MaliciousCompliance | Me: Sure thing!
    • r/MaliciousCompliance ...
    r/Nicegirls | she doesn't want much.
    • r/Nicegirls | she does...
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 372

  • @RGC_animation
    @RGC_animation Před 2 měsíci +1039

    Confessions in this subreddit are either: "I stole a cookie from my friend once" or "I committed domestic terrorism on an orphanage once".

    • @romanempirelolfn
      @romanempirelolfn Před 2 měsíci +21

      nothing in between

    • @SdKfz-gq8bh
      @SdKfz-gq8bh Před 2 měsíci +17

      just once? rookie numbers

    • @Mc523-4I9
      @Mc523-4I9 Před 2 měsíci +25

      @@SdKfz-gq8bh I'm going to assume this is for the cookie.

    • @Scarlet-355
      @Scarlet-355 Před 2 měsíci

      ​@@Mc523-4I9maybe for him but for me......

    • @tejesveer
      @tejesveer Před 2 měsíci +11

      @@Mc523-4I9 wrong

  • @bananaboi3454
    @bananaboi3454 Před 2 měsíci +634

    it’s surprising how safe people feel on Reddit when posting, some of these are actual crimes/stuff you could get into real trouble for

    • @Azeriiall
      @Azeriiall Před 2 měsíci +20

      And they can probably even find you

    • @thehungrygoldfish
      @thehungrygoldfish Před 2 měsíci +42

      The only ones that are truly illegal are the two that admitted that they go to people’s places and snoop around and the guy who stole the water bottles and the lady with the pizzas. I’m willing to give the water bottle guy and pizza lady a pass though. He just thirsty and she just wants pizza.

    • @weirdgreyman9000
      @weirdgreyman9000 Před 2 měsíci +12

      @@thehungrygoldfishwhat about the key one he steals alcohol and stuff

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +15

      They're gonna be in for a surprise when they find out you ain't anonymous online but hey it's probably a good thing majority of criminals aren't smart enough to hide their crimes or the world would be much worse.

    • @thehungrygoldfish
      @thehungrygoldfish Před 2 měsíci +9

      @@AIHumanEquality I’m going to assume they used throwaway accounts. It’s common on Reddit.

  • @Cheesethepapereater
    @Cheesethepapereater Před 2 měsíci +387

    I like how the confessions can be:
    “I ate my friend’s food without him looking”
    And
    “I broke into someone’s house, shoved their dog in the oven and then pissed all over their electronics”

    • @jwalster9412
      @jwalster9412 Před 2 měsíci +20

      Reddit be like "I stole a cookie from the jar" vs "I burned down the local hospital because it was old"

    • @Gatorboy5678
      @Gatorboy5678 Před 2 měsíci +7

      That’s also like titles in R/AmITheA$$hole 😂 And then you say the second one is perfectly justified and the first is terrible and everyone agrees. Reddit is certainly a weird place.

  • @bnashee
    @bnashee Před 2 měsíci +373

    The first person with the keys like. If i found out someone I trusted did that, they would no longer be my friend. Thats so creepy

    • @youreverydayhellknight4257
      @youreverydayhellknight4257 Před 2 měsíci +43

      I’m reporting them to the police

    • @BiscuitFlash
      @BiscuitFlash Před 2 měsíci

      @@youreverydayhellknight4257How?

    • @Bredstikc
      @Bredstikc Před 2 měsíci +8

      Yeah if I ever get Petsitters I'm gonna change locks after every night one's there if someone like that is out there.

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +4

      One of the reasons high security doors use fingerprint locks.

    • @sylvirgiomanach1491
      @sylvirgiomanach1491 Před 2 měsíci +5

      We have an alarm that I can turn off and on remotely. So the neighbor has a key, but not the alarm code. She just texts me when she's going to come over and lets me know when she leaves.

  • @pmcthepro
    @pmcthepro Před 2 měsíci +503

    Reddit has a lot more than 30 minutes worth of confessions to confess

    • @paxlash
      @paxlash Před 2 měsíci +19

      They just can’t show the rest on CZcams.

    • @Midnightaperson
      @Midnightaperson Před 2 měsíci +1

      Real

    • @lvna1isntreal
      @lvna1isntreal Před 2 měsíci +5

      @@paxlashis your profile pic a trans ram ?

    • @LucyFerr5070
      @LucyFerr5070 Před 2 měsíci +10

      @@lvna1isntreal It seems to be, and it's sick as fu*k

    • @paxlash
      @paxlash Před 2 měsíci +6

      @@lvna1isntreal Ermmm… it’s actually the Dinosaur Parasaurolophus ☝️🤓

  • @AIHumanEquality
    @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +121

    "I've stolen water" is the most American of all of these. I had to make sure I heard that correctly. Clean drinking water is free in most countries that's why it got me so much.

    • @apple54345
      @apple54345 Před 2 měsíci +25

      Most places in the USA will provide free water. Even if it's just from a water fountain. This story was about bottled water, though. That carries a bit more of a premium.

    • @OctyabrAprelya
      @OctyabrAprelya Před 2 měsíci +8

      @@apple54345 Until you realize that in USA bottled water is just water passed through a reverse osmosis filter, and that in some states that's the standard for tap water.

    • @dyanaprajna4556
      @dyanaprajna4556 Před 2 měsíci

      And I'm also wondering if the college added a mark up on the water. I'm willing to bet they probably charged 5 dollars for a 2 buck bottle. ​@@OctyabrAprelya

    • @sylvirgiomanach1491
      @sylvirgiomanach1491 Před 2 měsíci +8

      ​@OctyabrAprelya premium as in cost, not quality. It's just tap water from the bottling facility, but you're still paying for the bottle itself, process of filling it, and the people who operate the machines. A restaurant is paying a water bill anyway, so giving people free water makes a negligible difference. But they have to pay for water bottles, so they charge extra for water bottles.

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +2

      @@apple54345 How much of that free water is clean though? Cause I've heard stories of how bad the quality of water is even outside of places like Flint where it was poisoned.

  • @TyrannostarusRex
    @TyrannostarusRex Před 2 měsíci +176

    The person who made a “fake restaurant” just runs a ghost kitchen for their own company.

  • @Redbeardian
    @Redbeardian Před 2 měsíci +118

    3:00 Some loser cop tried this on my girlfriend at the time. He stopped us for being "suspicious" because we were parked in a parking lot at night. He then had her get out and chatted her up for about 30 minutes behind my car. She finally came back and as we drove away she was laughing at what a loser the dude was to force an encounter by using his cop "authority" to harass women. I didn't complain out of fear of retaliation. I've always wondered how often he did it though. Maybe I could have saved someone from an obvious predator if I'd been more courageous.

    • @banana9347
      @banana9347 Před 2 měsíci +10

      Man thats creepy and scary.

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +11

      Depends where you are. If you're in America there's little to nothing you can do about it. Cops in America have ridiculous amounts of power and influence.

    • @Laurasophiesmith
      @Laurasophiesmith Před 2 měsíci +2

      @@AIHumanEqualityyeah but thats still a crime. Also they have body cams so lying is no option at this point

    • @MsVilecat
      @MsVilecat Před 2 měsíci +10

      Have you not witnessed all the times those cop cams were allegedly not turned on or the footage wasn't retrievable for some mystical reason?

    • @alum3676
      @alum3676 Před 2 měsíci +3

      @@Laurasophiesmithever heard of qualified immunity. You have to be exceptionally bad to even get punished. At most the average punishment is just paid leave, or reassignment ot another station.

  • @anothermereapostleofjimpickens
    @anothermereapostleofjimpickens Před 2 měsíci +56

    These vary from “I don’t know what boundaries are 😭😭🥲” And “I don’t know what boundaries are 😈😈”

  • @WoodlandGoblin
    @WoodlandGoblin Před 2 měsíci +97

    I remember my friend saw the 'UFO' above their house and sent a photo to me and we were losing our shit lmfao. I'm being serious I live in Somerset, it really is a small world!

  • @sketchiscribblr8285
    @sketchiscribblr8285 Před 2 měsíci +60

    when I was in 3rd grade, there was this little group of girls that were always talking shit to me. I was quite big for my age, both height and weight, and am autistic, not that I knew at that time, I was just always scolded for being a crybaby. one day this one girl was being _extra_ annoying all day. for the most part they liked make fun of my weight and my speech issues, my dad's beat up truck, but at the end of that day they escalated to full on calling me the r slur and that I must be cheating on my tests because there was no way someone that talked like I did could have good grades etc etc.
    now, I had told on these girls, and a couple of boys that had made fun of my weight for a while as well, with absolutely zero results. I just got the 'words cant hurt you' speech. _but_ I did remember two boys a couple of months prior had gotten into some *big* trouble for "fighting" on the playground because they were playing with sticks and sword fighting with them and whacking one another. they had both gotten in school suspension for the week over it. it put the idea in my mind that 'fighting' got people in real trouble
    I got so pissed off about what they had said to me that that afternoon when I got home, I pulled hair out of my brush and kept it. I had a pretty good bit and made sure it was all nice and straight and going the same direction. I kept the hair until they started following me around and yapping and made me cry again. they had followed me to the bathroom before homeroom and I stayed in the bathroom crying after they left. I loosened the ponytail my mom had put my hair in and planted the pocket hair by the sinks and stayed in a stall and let myself cry until I calmed down until a lady from the office came looking for me. I told the lady the group of girls had followed me to the bathroom and pulled my hair down and showed her the hair on the floor.
    it was my word against theirs, and I had a chunk of hair in the floor as 'evidence'. all of those girls got suspended for a while and I had in-school suspension for a couple of days, but I also I told the lady about how they had been following me and teasing me, there were a couple of boys I would talk pokemon with in the car pickup that backed me up and agreed that the one girl had called me the r slur, apparently they had told on her the day after it happened and that homeroom teacher just didnt do anything about it, I eventually got put in a different homeroom and the girls and I stayed away from one another.

    • @sylvrwolflol
      @sylvrwolflol Před 2 měsíci +20

      Honestly? Clever play.
      Was it lying? Yes.
      But did it get the results that needed to happen, after being denied by the system you were trapped in? Yeah, it did.
      Chin up, chér. This one was a small victory, and the fact that you do have any remorse about lying there, _years_ later, means that you're a good person.

    • @Beelzebubby91
      @Beelzebubby91 Před 2 měsíci +8

      I’m so proud of you 😂 Absolutely genius for a 3rd grader

    • @stuffie5175
      @stuffie5175 Před měsícem +2

      Honestly, I’m proud

  • @oceangmd
    @oceangmd Před 2 měsíci +16

    These will either be " I stole a kitkat from the local 7-11 one time" to "I killed 3 innocent people and i haven't told a soul"

  • @AIHumanEquality
    @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +36

    "Tea is just tea after all."
    Every British Person: 🙀

  • @Jessespresso
    @Jessespresso Před 2 měsíci +135

    I gotta know. The guy that said his date got ID to see the movie 'Fantastic Mr.Fox'... How old is he, her and that security guard? That movie is rated for kids so what security guard is gonna ID someone to watch it unless they're really that young and in which case, why is a security guard texting a child?

    • @sketchiscribblr8285
      @sketchiscribblr8285 Před 2 měsíci +34

      iirc, some theaters in some states sell alcohol. possible factor? or, it did say in the comment that dude 'knew her from another school' so I'd assume there could be some age difference, but unlikely to be enough to matter? Id probably think he thought she looked familiar and ID'd her to try and place who she was.

    • @rikacreature
      @rikacreature Před 2 měsíci +13

      Fantastic Mr. Fox is one of those "technically for kids" kinda movies, it's full of dry british humor that appeals to adults too, heck, i'm a grown woman and it's one of my favorite movies

    • @informationnotavailable6433
      @informationnotavailable6433 Před 2 měsíci +9

      @@rikacreatureyeah but even though older folks enjoy it it’s not harmful to younger ones so the id thing is still woerd

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +9

      It's Reddit so 75% or more of this stuff is made up. So don't think too hard about it.

    • @jocelynecupcake
      @jocelynecupcake Před 2 měsíci +1

      That movie is DEFINATLEY not for kids... also adults go to kids movies, I'm 21 and my uncle and I went to see Trolls 4 in theaters

  • @iamdb1990
    @iamdb1990 Před 2 měsíci +68

    "I was standing on one of my balconies"
    holy shit, one is impressive, but plural, damn...

    • @nikitatavernitilitvynova
      @nikitatavernitilitvynova Před 2 měsíci +7

      We used to rent and our old apartment has three balconies. One from my parent's room. One in mine and one in my brothers I believe but I'm not actually sure now if he had one. And at my dad's family apartment they have two aswell. We currently have one. It's not uncommon or rich to have many based on the house's structure. Our current apartment only has a long one.

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +3

      @@nikitatavernitilitvynova Bro even owning a house is becoming a commodity if the rich in America.

    • @LachyJohnson
      @LachyJohnson Před 2 měsíci

      @@AIHumanEquality never mind america what about australia

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +3

      @@LachyJohnson I wouldn't be surprised if the spiders and roos became the new ruling landlords there. They're big enough to take the houses.

    • @bladehoon
      @bladehoon Před 2 měsíci +1

      @@AIHumanEquality "The roos" 😭

  • @wingblade6023
    @wingblade6023 Před 2 měsíci +13

    19:15, I did this as malicious compliance when I worked as a cashier and self-checkout associate. Got chewed out by my team lead for not ID'ing someone who looked older than 21. So, I just started asking everyone for their ID, regardless of what they looked like, including managers and visitors from corporate. Whenever a customer got snippy about being carded, I just smile and say I'm just following the rules. And if a team lead is within eyeshot, I make it a point of singling them out for the rule.
    The number of glares and grumbled curse words directed toward me were always the highlights of my day. From then on, every time a poorly thought-out rule is dished out, I follow it to the letter, and if a customer complains, I send every customer to the nearest manager. Suffice to say, they don't stay up front for too long, when I'm on the clock, lol.

  • @MasterofGames-xw5br
    @MasterofGames-xw5br Před 2 měsíci +32

    I once stole 20 dollars from a teacher.
    The one day I was gone, she 'cleaned out' my desk. Throwing away all of my crayons, pencils, pens, papers, sketchbooks, returning my books to the library, etc.
    Then tried to replace everything with cheap knockoffs, or 'age appropriate' books.
    I get REALLY attached to my items, (badly), but the worst thing she ended up tossing was a 'stained piece of paper', but what it actually was; a flower I was flattening. I didn't have many friends in that school but one kid ran up to me one day and gave it to me, so I wanted to preserve it.
    I knew I couldn't get that back, and I also knew that she wouldn't compromise me for such a 'childish' thing. So I lied and said there was money wrapped in that paper from my allowance.
    She panicked, gave me 20 dollars, and I ate my emotions later at my favorite ice cream place. xD

    • @TheMysticalSerpent
      @TheMysticalSerpent Před 2 měsíci +14

      Thats not stealing, she handed the money to you after stealing your stuff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • @Vinemaple
      @Vinemaple Před měsícem +2

      Why would a teacher violate someone like that? It's completely inappropriate, especially because it sounds like this was in elementary school. And I wouldn't say you stole that money, I'd say you "mulcted" it!

    • @MasterofGames-xw5br
      @MasterofGames-xw5br Před měsícem +2

      @@Vinemaple Ooo, thanks for the new word. Imma use it. :)

  • @j.p.6932
    @j.p.6932 Před 2 měsíci +37

    17:34 Yeah, my friends offered to clean my place one time when I was in hospital. I was very reluctant, as I’m very private and just guarded, but they literally wouldn’t take no for an answer. I’ve struggled with severe depression since a teen, and I often journal. Occasionally if I’m really in a bad spot and considering it, I would write a practice suicide note - more just to get it out of my system and let me think about the repercussions. My friends found the journal, and read it. Instead of coming to be with support and concern, I found out through a mutual friend that they’d read it and just talked about it amongst themselves and I guess a family member or two. I felt extremely violated (a few expensive things went missing too). Needless to say, this did not help with trust issues, and while I didn’t cut ties with them, I never really see or talk to them anymore.

    • @justsomeone9054
      @justsomeone9054 Před 2 měsíci +14

      So they violated your trust, physically stole from you and you didn't cut ties? Damn!

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +7

      I inspire enough devotion or fear in those around me that they don't want to mess with me. It is something that developed over decades of abuse and betrayal.

    • @justsomeone9054
      @justsomeone9054 Před 2 měsíci +4

      @@AIHumanEquality sorry to hear that.

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci

      @@justsomeone9054 I became stronger for it so it all worked out.

  • @Jade_1872
    @Jade_1872 Před 2 měsíci +11

    As someone with severe paranoia and memory issues if I begin seeing my food change and I don’t remember noting it down I will get so wary. If I found out someone was breaking in and drinking my stuff one drink would end up sat aside made special for them.
    That ID thing doesn’t always work. I’ve gotten death and other sorts of threats from asking for IDs before when I genuinely needed the ID physically in my hand to scan and look at. Some people don’t take it as compliments they just get offended that you delayed them.

  • @Spiklething
    @Spiklething Před 2 měsíci +11

    Every time my mum and dad went away on holiday they would give their key to my dad’s best friend of more than 50 years. For emergencies only.
    One time they came home a day early to find him in the house snooping through their things.
    Great way to end a lifelong friendship.

  • @jocelynecupcake
    @jocelynecupcake Před 2 měsíci +11

    Get some help? I think that first guy should go to prison for that!
    also tbh I think the guy who had his balls removed "I hope he was still able to have children" nah man I'm glad he didn't have children

  • @girl1213
    @girl1213 Před 2 měsíci +7

    First one made me so thankful for that one time I phoned my brother to ask for permission to eat his pizza while I was pet sitting.
    Geez, I have a copy of his key so I can make sure the poor dog is alright when he and his girlfriend are held up at work (they call me to ask to check/feed/walk/whatever first), but to make a copy without their knowledge? Whomever this person is got SERIOUS control issues.

  • @qtluna7917
    @qtluna7917 Před 2 měsíci +20

    I actually did something similar as the dead best friend. I was developing feelings for my best friend at the time, and just when I was going to try to ask him out (as in the same week, I decided to ask him out, and before we met the next time, he texted me that he had developed a crush on a girl he met the week prior and was going to visit her). I decided to let him see if it's a fit, since I knew I could not have forgiven myself, had I messed up his cool by asking him out as well, and then we don't match.
    fast forward multiple years, they are still together, so I am glad I made the right call.
    (Also, we have all three talked about this, so there is no hidden feelings anywhere.)

  • @eggnogalcoholic
    @eggnogalcoholic Před 2 měsíci +10

    20:18 speaking as a woman, although this is an unfortunate true that societally we pressure older women to look younger/attractive to feel valuable, OP doesn’t have the capacity or power to change that (I bet if OP could change that, they would, but they don’t). I think what OP is doing is very kind, and it’s pretty uptight for someone to accuse OP of just “perpetuating the stereotype as truth.” Even though in a perfect world women wouldn’t need to be carded to feel young and pretty, OP is being a kind human with the small power they do have.

  • @HiBunnyBachi
    @HiBunnyBachi Před 2 měsíci +9

    Fun fact! The fake restaurant story is actually a common occurrence in China, where lots of "restaurants" will advertise their food as fresh, made to order food on delivery apps; but their kitchens are usually just a kitchen that operates more like a warehouse that reheats frozen boxes of pre-made food before handing them to the deliverymen. They're a genuine concern to people as they're not just falsely advertising, their work conditions are also usually super unhygienic.

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +1

      Don't know who told you this but it's 100% false. Chinese restaurants in China cook food just like everywhere else. The dishes are different cause it's Asia but they still cook and prep food like any other Asian country. I think you were falling for some kind of anti-china BS my friend.

    • @HiBunnyBachi
      @HiBunnyBachi Před 2 měsíci +5

      @@AIHumanEquality I couldn't find the original news video I saw about this since it was about more than a year ago, but I'll say this to clarify:
      1) I have no incentive to lie or spread propaganda about China, considering I'm Chinese myself, plus news about China's bad practices when it comes to quality is already pretty well known everywhere.
      2) (I apologize if my tone suggests that all restaurants are like that, but)Not all restaurants are like that in China. There's always honest people doing honest work; however you can bet there are thousands more than will do anything for profit.
      3) if you've seen a fraction of what atrocities farmers, sellers and chefs would do just for extra profit, you genuinely will be a lot more grateful for what you have there/gen

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci

      @@HiBunnyBachi As someone who likes East Asia enough to study the cultures. Much of the "bad things" you hear about China and Japan in western news media is made up, twisted, or greatly exaggerated. China is a very sanitary and safe place overall with very little crime or health issues. It's one of the safest countries in the world and they've got a lot of Western immigrants since opening their country up more in the past few decades all of whom have verified that the media often lies about China.

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci

      @@HiBunnyBachi If you don't want to lie about China I have a simple solution for you. Stop spreading lies about China. It's not hard to double check info. The fact you can't find your original source is a sign it wasn't real to begin with. If something was real it wouldn't be too hard to find information on it as a general rule.

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci

      @@HiBunnyBachi It seems my comments are being censored by CZcams.
      Western media only wants Anti-China rhetoric and it shows pretty blatantly.

  • @fredskull1618
    @fredskull1618 Před 2 měsíci +57

    Confessions on Reddit are either “I think I committed SA on a minor” or it’s “I 14f didn’t tell my parents about meeting with my 35m boyfriend.

    • @ThatKidWhoGotBored
      @ThatKidWhoGotBored Před 2 měsíci +7

      Either that or smth like I ate my friends sandwich.The contrast is wild lol

  • @MatecaCorp
    @MatecaCorp Před 2 měsíci +6

    I think Damien didn’t spend enough time wondering why the heck all those people just couldn’t be bothered to clean their own windows

  • @notdistracted1289
    @notdistracted1289 Před 2 měsíci +5

    6:00 Who is "a true homie?" *jeopardy "correct" sound effect*

  • @OctyabrAprelya
    @OctyabrAprelya Před 2 měsíci +3

    Oh oh...
    When I was a kid (8~10 yo) while getting in my aunt's house, I used to go through my cousins drawers when she wasn't home. Always found out why she had marbles on every drawer.
    Now I know why.

    • @nathanpuckett5124
      @nathanpuckett5124 Před 2 měsíci

      I don't get it

    • @denkisupremacy
      @denkisupremacy Před 12 dny

      ​@@nathanpuckett5124 you can see if someone has been opening your drawers, because the marbles will have rolled around, and then they will be in a different position when you go back to the drawer.

  • @MSRTA_Productions
    @MSRTA_Productions Před 2 měsíci +23

    Comment your confessions here
    Edit: That's not how you suppose to play the game 💀

  • @novatheenby8779
    @novatheenby8779 Před 2 měsíci +7

    Wait until chick-fil-a person learns that if you ask for a cup of water at ANY restaurant/food place that has access to clean drinking water, they legally have to give it to you (if in America). I learned about this when I almost got a job at an amusement park. Not sure if it’s true or if they fed me bs, but apparently it’s because if they refuse to give you water and you end up having heatstroke or another hydration-related medical emergency, the company can be held responsible

    • @jwalster9412
      @jwalster9412 Před 2 měsíci +2

      Here in Canada, most places give you a cup of water free (and usually try to scam you into buying a bottle of water instead) exempt Timmy's, who does there roll up the rim stuff and makes you pay ¢10 for a cup of tap water. But an easy loop hole is to get the water after you have paid for everything else, because they don't want to hold up the line.

  • @ReinBelmont
    @ReinBelmont Před 2 měsíci +18

    6:38 I hate unqualified people being given jobs and positions they don't deserve. Either by nepotism or stuff like this, faking it all the way.
    Disgusting.

  • @arturpaivads
    @arturpaivads Před 2 měsíci +1

    I dont buy alcohol since I dont drink, but there are the rare exception of buying a gift to a friend. I have a VERY young face. Everyone IDs me, 99% of the time when I give my drivers license that's the end of the story.
    But there are some people that stop and starts to make math in their heads and I'm really like "dude, if I can drive I can drink, right? You dont need to math it out..."
    Just to be clear, here is the same age, 18 years old, to both have your driver license and drink, so if you have a drivers license for whatever reason, you can drink, no questions asked...

  • @youreverydayhellknight4257
    @youreverydayhellknight4257 Před 2 měsíci +25

    That first one sounds like it’s legitimately illegal

  • @amgamer6198
    @amgamer6198 Před 2 měsíci +19

    27:38 BRUH THE "TOYS" GOT UNCENSORED💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

  • @LilyHunt-mi8ql
    @LilyHunt-mi8ql Před 2 měsíci +5

    I fricken love this subreddit

  • @SingularTurtle
    @SingularTurtle Před 2 měsíci +2

    The reason why I love Emkay is because sometimes I feel like watching a video narrated by Lexi, or Robin, or Jack, or Damien. It's a really fun cycle and I love everyone on the narrator team's humor!

  • @Vinemaple
    @Vinemaple Před měsícem +1

    15:48 The thing is, the consequences of saying "no" to certain people, especially someone who starts taking advantage of someone's generosity like that, can be so toxic it's hard not to just avoid them by doing something like OP did.

  • @Daeca
    @Daeca Před 2 měsíci +1

    I need more of this subreddit with this narrator, please. Thank you.

  • @theominouspigeon
    @theominouspigeon Před 2 měsíci +8

    the master criminal

  • @sammydanger7287
    @sammydanger7287 Před měsícem

    Causing a UFO panic was not something I knew I wanted to do.

  • @noelhutchins7366
    @noelhutchins7366 Před měsícem +1

    There were two-housecleaners on-call for an AirB&B; when the owner needed, he shot texts to both, so someone would claim the booking-turnover; my-GF was one house-cleaner, & when she got a turnover-schedueled, the other-house-cleaner was using her keys to come early & swipe any tips left for the actual cleaner: we finally asked after seeing her car if clients ever leave tips; replying, the owner briefly texted to the affirmative. The next time she changed the pillowcases there was $1000 in one: save your gasp; the next time we heard of her whereabouts was an obituary lending to a coroner's declaration of a heart attack. ( ).

  • @callmesilver2683
    @callmesilver2683 Před 2 měsíci +4

    The solar balloon being mistaken for a ufo is literally the plot of a fuller episode of Case Closed lol

  • @stephanieann6622
    @stephanieann6622 Před 2 měsíci +1

    I hope reddit does their thing and gets the key person teported to the cops because thats incredibly fucked up. The guy that tried to break into our house didnt get inside and it still gives me anxiety. I wont go out at night without protection and if I see the security light on i always have to look, I lie to myself and say its to see if it's the family of deer we feed, it's not.knowing someone that wasnt welcomed was in your house or attempted to get into your house is so uneasy and terrifying. Like the one said, its not about what could be stolen its about your security being stripped of you. I know in most scenarios i have the right stuff to protect myself, and i did but that doesnt get rid of that feeling.

  • @CreamusG
    @CreamusG Před 2 měsíci +2

    Unfortunately when you're 30 and you actually look a lot younger than 21, it causes some problems. The number of times I got the looks of "nice try, kid" could fill a book. The best is when people are absolutely convinced you have a fake ID.
    I'm still flattered

  • @probablynotblufur
    @probablynotblufur Před 2 měsíci +1

    “blind as a bat” is so stupid. bats are not blind, they use echolocation at night because of how dark it is, not because they’re blind.

  • @casualsleepingdragon8501
    @casualsleepingdragon8501 Před 2 měsíci +2

    I once accidentally broke a girl's phone in middle school.
    She was blocking the whole stair well wiþ her arms and needed to get class. So, being the PoS kid i was, instead of asking her to move, i just push past her. I'm pretty sure i saw her phone fly past me down the stairs.
    Later, i got called to the principal (or someone important in the school, i can't remember) and was asked if i broke her phone. I said no, partially because, at the time, i þought i hadn't done or at least convinced myself i hadn't, but mostly because i was too scared to admit i had. By some miracle i got off scot free. But i felt guilty about it since
    I haven't told a soul until today.
    Stairway girl, if you read this by some chance, i'm so sorry

    • @gabrielhenson5751
      @gabrielhenson5751 Před 2 měsíci +1

      don't apologize and don't feel guilty for that, her phone being broken was the consequences for being inconsiderate and blocking walkways when people are on a schedule.

  • @deckscomm
    @deckscomm Před 2 měsíci +1

    I hate the last story the most... imagine having someone give you so much trust that you get their housekeys for them to look through all your stuff without your knowledge. This is just fucking with peoples trust and sanity. Thats why people put cameras in their homes.

  • @hmnhntr
    @hmnhntr Před 2 měsíci +14

    The guy who cheated to get his degrees....can he actually do his job? Like, at all? He has a *Masters* level degree. People are going to expect him to be an expert in his field. And if he didn't do anything, he won't be. He'll just have to keep faking it while basically defrauding his employers. What a scumbag.

    • @nikitatavernitilitvynova
      @nikitatavernitilitvynova Před 2 měsíci +1

      Hey I cheated at one exam of mechanics. I can assure you I will be able to do my job in the future as I don't plan on going into product design and graphics design doesn't require maths or structural mechanics to be done.

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +6

      Most jobs train you anyway so the whole needing a degree is nonsense. Harder jobs like doctor or engineer yeah definitely need the degree and knowledge from learning it but most jobs require a degree for no reason at all.

    • @Nylak-Otter
      @Nylak-Otter Před 2 měsíci +3

      I have advanced degrees and I don't use what I learned in them *AT ALL* in my career, even though it's in a directly related field. I'd have been absolutely fine if I had faked them. Most of the knowledge, experience and techniques I use in my work are things I developed myself on the job, and now I teach others the things I came up with out of necessity.
      Sometimes a formal education is useless in practice.

    • @jwalster9412
      @jwalster9412 Před 2 měsíci

      ​@@nikitatavernitilitvynova it entirely depends on the field. If you plane to design aeroplanes, (not Boeing, they are bad) then actually do the Corse, but if you plan to design hats and shirts as a career than is probably not as necessary

    • @jwalster9412
      @jwalster9412 Před 2 měsíci +1

      ​@@AIHumanEqualityas a matter of fact, I've heard most jobs just tell you to throw away what school thought you because they do it there own way.

  • @wizardsuth
    @wizardsuth Před 2 měsíci +21

    2:26 "...scribbled my number down and put it under his card..." -- Oh right, the U. S. doesn't have modern banking technology that lets you pay right at the table. In Canada you never have to let your credit or debit card out of your sight, and for a lot of things you can pay with your phone instead.

    • @nikitatavernitilitvynova
      @nikitatavernitilitvynova Před 2 měsíci

      In Italy they usually come with a leather type cover where they put the check in. Then you either put the cash inside or state you're paying with card. In some restaurants they'll have you go to the cash desk physically to pay. At others the waiter will come with a POS machine for you to pay at the table directly. No-one is ever going to take your card off your hands.

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +2

      Yeah in Canada no business is allowed to even touch customers payment cards.

    • @aylen7062
      @aylen7062 Před 2 měsíci

      In Argentina we also hand the card to the worker, and I don't know how else a card payment could be done, I have no idea how the machine to read it works. Most commonly though, we use either cash or a mobile app like MercadoPago.

    • @SanityTV_Last_Sane_Man_Alive
      @SanityTV_Last_Sane_Man_Alive Před 2 měsíci +1

      the story happened in the past genius. I guess canada doesn't have very good schools since you can't figure out that basic fact.

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +2

      @@SanityTV_Last_Sane_Man_Alive We've had handheld debit machines for decades so how long back you talking? The 80s?

  • @therealstarplatinum
    @therealstarplatinum Před 2 měsíci +4

    That dude sacrificed his love for his bros love what a fucking homie

  • @SiqueScarface
    @SiqueScarface Před 2 měsíci +1

    20:10 Where I used to live, "young lady" or "young man" is the standard way to address someone, independent of age. I've seen a 20 year old waitress asking a greybeard: "And what do we get, young man?" And no one was minding.

  • @wrevel.
    @wrevel. Před 5 dny

    these confessions range from "yeah so i stole my friend's charger for a week and then gave it back" to "i strangled my friend with their charger so i wouldn't have to give it back later"

  • @Huskycomicowner
    @Huskycomicowner Před 2 měsíci +1

    The key coping at the beginning is smart. In a sh!t hits the fan scenario it might get you the resources you need to survive. But outside of that scenario don't use the keys.

    • @AIHumanEquality
      @AIHumanEquality Před 2 měsíci +2

      If you end up in a survival situation keys are going to be the least of your concerns.

  • @Felixium22_TTV
    @Felixium22_TTV Před 2 měsíci +1

    18:50 as a former Pizza Hut employee, I see NOTHING wrong with this

  • @LinearCreeper24
    @LinearCreeper24 Před 2 měsíci

    First Guy Was Just Jax, "Don't Worry, I Have A Key To His House" "Wait, What? Y-You Shouldn't Have Keys To Anyone's House!" "Nah, I've Got Keys To Every House, And You All Have Been Fine."

  • @SkullieTheBillCipherFan
    @SkullieTheBillCipherFan Před 2 měsíci +2

    24:16 as his removed ball i can confirm, also he touched us too much

  • @muffinfluff2476
    @muffinfluff2476 Před 2 měsíci +1

    Jokes on that first person, I've multiple cameras

  • @stepver2273
    @stepver2273 Před 2 měsíci +1

    the ufo one is amazing

  • @RuthlessDarknes5
    @RuthlessDarknes5 Před 2 měsíci

    Damien is always a nice narrator to hear

  • @terrariaisfun9453
    @terrariaisfun9453 Před měsícem +1

    22:25 "stopped" 😂 thought something was off then I listened more carefully love the video tho 👍

  • @tardybloomer
    @tardybloomer Před 2 měsíci +1

    the first two really ground my gears man, hoping those were the worst and the rest aren’t as bad. while the tea story didn’t reach those levels, it still bothered me.
    edit nvm a lot of it is bad. i continue to lose faith in humanity

  • @-gemberkoekje-5547
    @-gemberkoekje-5547 Před 25 dny

    I never did it, but having a collection of keys to enter a place in an emergency situation always seemed cool to me.

  • @TheLostBear78
    @TheLostBear78 Před 2 měsíci +2

    I haven't been ID'ed for Alcohol in a decade now. It does hurt.

    • @diediedice
      @diediedice Před 2 měsíci +1

      then theres me, a European who still gets IDed for a bottle of wine lmao (We're allowed to buy it at 16)

  • @stewydoo
    @stewydoo Před měsícem

    That first confession is some real Manson Family sociopath shit.

  • @drowsykyle8263
    @drowsykyle8263 Před 2 měsíci

    20:22. That caught me off guard so much 😂

  • @zakuraRabbit
    @zakuraRabbit Před 2 měsíci +1

    I asked an elderly lady for her ID once...it was kind of a reflex :p The cash register told me to "Check ID" as it always does when someone buys cigarettes and I was so used to simply asking every time that popped up. She found it amusing. (Never gave me the ID though...but I did let her have the items. I think it was cigarettes but its been years.)

  • @MalcolmCooks
    @MalcolmCooks Před 29 dny

    if your SO left someone else for you, they're gonna do the same thing to you eventually.

  • @fishnugget3672
    @fishnugget3672 Před 2 měsíci +1

    The ball kick story, I felt pain through the entire thing, Jesus Christ bro

  • @RemiRato
    @RemiRato Před měsícem +1

    at 4:32 that man (if he does it every day) is making about $138426 aud in one year. for some reason, I dont believe that.

  • @gendernotfound1994
    @gendernotfound1994 Před 2 měsíci

    The first story is literally the reason why i don't trust anyone.

  • @laurineder9939
    @laurineder9939 Před měsícem

    Finders reward typically is about 10%+ of what was the value of the object is so getting 100 of the 500 is really good

  • @charalinedreemurr2953
    @charalinedreemurr2953 Před 2 měsíci

    "Ive stolen thousands of dollars of water with just five words" and 5 words can ruin that as well:
    No outside food or dink.

  • @monolophosaurus
    @monolophosaurus Před 2 měsíci +2

    22:58 The WHAT

  • @DJAutonomous
    @DJAutonomous Před 2 měsíci

    I've brought home so many pizza's that I messed up lol. At least 1 a month not counting the Doordarshan orders that never came

  • @jonasholm-mw5bn
    @jonasholm-mw5bn Před 2 měsíci

    Someone once broke into previous apartment. It was in the basement of a house and my roommates and I rarely locked the door, so it’s more like he just walked in. I heard something and then someone shined light into my room at 4 am. At first I just asked what his deal was and then who he was. When he didn’t answer, I got up to ask again. Then he ran off with a big trash bag of recycling bottles. I kind of ran after him but he got away and I just shouted, it’s just trash. I went around the corner in the direction he ran, to see if he had just tossed the bag, but there was nothing. After that we always locked the door and I wonder what would have happened if my sleep schedule had been normal at that time

  • @ere1
    @ere1 Před 2 měsíci +1

    i find this video rather amusing

  • @Saavik256
    @Saavik256 Před 2 měsíci

    I ate at a Piece of Butt in Brussels years ago, and not only was it the worst pizza I ever had in my life, I also picked up some bug from that place and had to go see a doctor the next day, which cost me, along with the antibiotics, almost 200 eur.

  • @RhapsosProductions
    @RhapsosProductions Před 2 měsíci

    That cheating one has me conflicted. I'm suffering through writing papers myself, so I get the temptation, but it annoys me that people do this and succeed. On the other hand, if you've put that much effort into avoiding doing work, you've kinda earned it, in a twisted way. Definitely more acceptable than crying for grades, anyway!

  • @tra12048
    @tra12048 Před 2 měsíci +1

    23:00 "When I was younger I WOULDNT wipe my ass. Yeah. You heard that right." Oh, I've heard stranger things... Like grown ass adult men refusing to wipe their asses because "touching your ass as a man is gay!" A kid not wiping for whatever reason is somewhat understandable, grown ass adults being scared of turning themselves gay by wiping/washing themselves is not lmao

  • @MisaMisaIsOnTop
    @MisaMisaIsOnTop Před 2 měsíci

    The first Redditor is so real for that

    • @MisaMisaIsOnTop
      @MisaMisaIsOnTop Před 2 měsíci

      also /j i dont need people thinking im being fr

  • @little_dino6825
    @little_dino6825 Před 2 měsíci

    25:53 A kid ripped my earring out in elementary school once.. during playground time.

  • @jwalster9412
    @jwalster9412 Před 2 měsíci +1

    4:13 hes a scammer. Theres nothing more to this lol.

  • @Katt1n
    @Katt1n Před 2 měsíci

    And that ball? Went on to play in the Wimbledon.

  • @kaiZXful
    @kaiZXful Před 2 měsíci +1

    16:25 made me spit my water on my phone lmao

  • @RomanGameCool21
    @RomanGameCool21 Před měsícem +1

    BREAKING NEWS EMKAY!

  • @jwalster9412
    @jwalster9412 Před 2 měsíci

    23:47 of so thats where the infamous dictator came form..

  • @kurotsuki7427
    @kurotsuki7427 Před 2 měsíci +1

    If you feel the need to use a towl or wash cloth to wipe your butt thats fine. Just put it in the dirty laundry after.

  • @MalcolmCooks
    @MalcolmCooks Před 29 dny

    why does a window washer need access to the inside of your house anyway, they only wash the outside of the windows

  • @kiti_cat524
    @kiti_cat524 Před 2 měsíci +2

    0:20 are you jax?

  • @nyotamwuaji6484
    @nyotamwuaji6484 Před 2 měsíci

    tea is not just leaves.

  • @-CookieDev-
    @-CookieDev- Před 2 měsíci

    this is why i dont use reddit unless i need a fix for something

  • @daitsy2476
    @daitsy2476 Před 2 měsíci

    23:18 I had a similar experience at the same age at school. I somewhat remember a kid had been bullying me for awhile so on the playground one day I kicked him so hard in the nuts he started bleeding from the mouth. It was either that day or the next day my mom took me out of that school. It was a private type of school so not a great place to begin with.

  • @Fireprincess161
    @Fireprincess161 Před 2 měsíci

    Wait... that tea one... how was it saving her money when she bought his tea anyway and just gave it away? She was spending more by buying 2 of hers.
    Also, at that point wouldn't he be chipping in for groceries? So he's buying it with his money.

  • @dickysatria7268
    @dickysatria7268 Před 2 měsíci

    That thumbnail... kinda like one murder case in detective conan manga where the murderer use plastic bag to choke the victim and make the weapon gone by flying it away like that

  • @MayoOverlord
    @MayoOverlord Před 2 měsíci

    For the testicle story, do you know who else was German and only had one ball ?

  • @NurseEvie
    @NurseEvie Před 2 měsíci

    I lost concentration like 3 times while watching this

  • @j.p.6932
    @j.p.6932 Před 2 měsíci

    18:45 Maybe carry out is different, but a lot of places will make you pay when placing the order.

  • @rhipuyo
    @rhipuyo Před 2 měsíci +1

    If the key thing was like, making a spare for the person in case they lose it as an act of generosity, yea I get it, but keeping them is just odd.

  • @jonasholm-mw5bn
    @jonasholm-mw5bn Před 2 měsíci

    To that last camera comment. Maybe they knew, but since he didn’t take anything they never mentioned it. They could also just check the cameras if something had happened and since there wasn’t anything missing they never checked. Probably thought whatever did happen was because he did what he was supposed to do