On the heels of the World Series... David hits a home run with this TEDx Talk on Father Absence! The downstream effects of father absences can be devastating to our children, our families and our society. In my opinion, father absence or fatherlessness has become the greatest socioeconomic issue we face as a society today. David is a true champion for the fatherless! He works tirelessly, volunteering his time, to highlight and bring awareness to the plight of the fatherless and the negative generational effects it can cause. DAD’s - Start creating your positive fathering legacy today! Be present in the life of your children! Be there! Enter their world and invite them to enter your!
the fact that this video doesnt have more than 1 millions views is a proof that the world isnt healthy thank you for your message of love of faith of hope
Great message for all!! As someone who has had the pleasure of knowing the Hirsch family, David and Peggy you have been tremendous parents to your 5 beautiful children! Thank you for the work you are doing with your fatherhood initiative.
Fatherless is the #1 crisis in the West, after God-less. CALL Congress today to end the anti-father $4.4 Billion annual S.S. matching incentives Title IV-D, that flow to divorce judges and police for minimizing fathers.
David Hirsch nails it. He's not beating up on dads or heaping on guilt. He's saying, "Dad, you matter." And, "Dad, love on your kids. Enjoy them. The time you invest will pay dividends that last forever." If you live in Illinois, support the Illinois Fatherhood Initiative any way you can.
I wish i had that for my children...I, too, am a single mom. Kids 13 and 8. Their dad has given up on himself and I am trying to care for my girls on my own. My worry is that they are missing out on a positive role model in their father and learning that this is how it should be for them. Great listen...
But think of it this way, they are blessed to have you for a mom to love and provide! So you are the example that they need right now! Perhaps dad will step up to the plate? It is our prayer! But often he misses out in ways that cannot be explained!
To me it’s the expectations and comparisons. When I had so many expectations of my father, I had much more disappointments. Now I have zero expectations, I feel released! It doesn’t sound normal in the heathy family. But it’s a good thing to do in such abnormal settings.. and never compare yourself with others who have nice family. We are not victims, because of it, we become stronger than any others. We need to turn negetive into the positives. Our parents mess it up, but it doesn’t mean our life has to be messy!!!
Even if parents divorce, the parents have to be responsible for their parental role. It ought to be illegal, a crime, if a father or mother doesn't participate in the upbringing of the emotional , mental and physical wellbeing of a child until the kid is 18.
Wow! Great speech! I've seen and experienced firsthand what happens to kids, especially boys, without a father figure in their lives and it typically leads to a very hard road. Thank you, David, for all that you do to bring this issue to the forefront of society and raise awareness.
Dad wasn't around. Raised by a single mom. 30 years old and still have the pain from it. I had no father figure at all and it screwed my life up until I decided to develop my manhood myself. Im doing well but life could have been so much better.
Clem con, you can be the father you never had! Just keep working on yourself! Believe me, you weren't the problem! But learning to love who you are as you become all you were meant to be! 💞 My father was too busy for me, so I found my FATHER GOD who has never turned away or forsaken me!
It really sucks that this big of an issue doesn't have national attention. It's one of the fundamental reasons why so many children in less wealthy areas aren't doing well in school, and the reason there's a lot of gang related crimes. This issue needs to be addressed.
My ex wife chose the right to be drinking continuously anytime one of her 8 siblings was around, over the right of her children to have a father. The legal system supported her decision.
In my country after divorce happens 80%of fathers would abandon their children. By abandon I mean they would stop the communication completely, stop supporting their children financially and even call on their birthdays. It's absolutely socially acceptable and nobody judges or blames the father, people tend to blame the mother instead because "the men wouldnt leave a good woman and she must have been a bad wife"
The people that blames the mother are absolute correct, you really think that 80% of dads don't want to see their children? You have no idea what you're talking about, only looking at your photo I can already imagine what airhead you are.
As someone currently in the middle of a divorce, fighting what looks to be an all out custody battle, its tough man. The fathers are missing because society decided it was a great idea to make it as hard as possible to continue being a father once a relationship ends. I'm fighting it, but most people don't have the resources I have, and maybe we should start putting the kids future first. If I didn't have the resources I do have it would be incredibly easy, and fathers do it every day, to just walk and blame it all on my ex wife. Until we put the kids interests first, and make the divorce industry less of an industry, this problem is going to continue.
Absent dads have many issues that are linked to their past and genetics, such problems will always be prevalent as there are little we can do to get these men understand the type of help they need to receive. Till they receive help, it’s hard for men to maintain or gain the courage and resilience they need to recognise and exhibit their rights to be with their children. The mum may stop you from seeing your child, keep trying even if it takes years. Show your child you are trying so hard to fight for them by trying to adjust the way you approach the mum if she is making things hard for you. It will be hard, but at least you tried to be best man you can be for your child. Don’t give up. And to the men who just give up and abandon their child, hope you shared what happened. Something must have happened that cause you to give up so easily. Find help to gain courage for yourself and your child.
With a court order in place I turn up every week to pick my son up and every week I don't pick him up, sometimes I get to have a chat with the police that are called on me. I go back to court get it enforced and we go around in circles and every circle costs me £8500 My wrong doing.... I dared to disagree. After evidence was brought forward in court I was proved right and correct by a doctor. I saw my son every day for the first 2 years of his life. He is now 8. In the eyes of the law this is in the best interest of the child, in the eyes of society I don't try hard enough and in the eyes of my son I don't exist. It's OK tho, men have no problems.
My dad wssnf around he always said parents never go see the child it’s the other way round. 😕… anyway I tried and tried but he is so wrapped up in his own life that he missed out all our life’s (brothers & sister). I really don’t know what to say because I’ve always wanted to know him. It’s sad but I understand that he’s not bothered
There are too many family courts in this country that are biased towards women due to outdated laws and social norms. The learned mindset that no one loves a child more than their mother and that mothers are naturally better equipped than fathers to rear children have contributed to a subconscious bias that leads to many courts typically granting automatic custody to moms while dads often have to prove their worthiness and discredit the moms in order to gain custody. I also don't believe that child support issues should make a dad ineligible for visitation. Time is just as important as money and some dads get punished simply for not being wealthy. I do believe that child support services have strayed quite a bit from holding deadbeats accountable to profitting of off financially present parents. There are also entirely too many deadbeat dads willingly abandoning their children because it's easy to and because society has come to expect it since it happens so often. Then there's the issue of vindictive moms using their kids as pawns against their exes. Children with actively present fathers tend to be more self assured with better emotional development, motor and social skills. Fatherless sons tend to lack the ability to emotionally connect and stay with their own kids and romantic partners, and fatherless daughters are more prone to clingy emotional attachments to their sons and romantic partners. The kids are NOT alright. In my personal story, my father and momma broke up before I was born but absolutely adored each other. Roadblocks were never put in his way, he's just a financial and emotional deadbeat who showed up maybe once a year and had kids everywhere. The short time I lived with him, my wonderful and selfless stepmom was the one taking care of me. My mom was overextended; we lived in poverty and I had to co-raise my sisters because she was always at work. My bond with her suffered greatly from lack of quality time and pleasant experiences. The fatherlessness left me emotionally starved- with depression, fear of abandonment, feelings of inadequacy, and trust issues with men. Luckily, I didn't fall into the statistic of obsessively seeking a man's love through a son or any man I could get and ending up a young single mom or in a pattern of abusive relationships. However, I will always have a void that no one but him can fill and the pain I've lived will always be with me. This is such a multifaceted issue that will require effort, accountability, patience, and respect from moms, dads, kids and the law. Our children need their dads.
Great incite, im a father who has been alienated from my children for 14 years. Courts don't care because social security act title Iv-D profits are more important then childrens relationships with their parents. Where is the talk and walk on this subject
It's unfortunate but this problem is a problem that can only be solved by holding woman accountable for their actions. A very high percentage of woman deny fathers their rights of visitation and the court system is biased for women. Until that changes, this problem will never be solved. A woman can endanger and neglect her children without consequences while a father who pays his child support gets denied his right to see his children. I'll bet the speakers mother who he holds on a pedestal chased his father away and denied him a relationship with his son. Often times, a man gives up because he knows all too well the system is against him and rather than go thru the insanity of fighting an up hill battle he walks away. And before anyone tries to psycho analyze me, I raised all 5 of my children alone without any involvement from the mother, but it was a long expensive fight that almost cost me my freedom and my sanity. Like the speaker I'm also from Chicago, so I'm more than familiar with the biased family court in Chicago.
How about true equality in the way we think and treat fathers especially in the legal system pertaining to divorce and child custody!?🤔hmmm. Sad reality is fathers are booted to the curb all the time.
men dont want to be involved in their childrens life. thats why women act so loose now because no matter what a dude wont marry you not even if he knocks u up. n women had to step up and be both roles mother and father and statistics are not right all the time. think about where are they getting their information from.. anyway duces dudes
Good look trying to get your court order for access rk your children when the mother decides you should not your kids, the police will only tell you to to court and the court takes a snail pace to do anything, you want to solve the issue create and enforcement of access agency and get the court order be enforce by police with heavy fines to parents who deny access unjustified or break the orders and agreements but no one will do this so since there is no money to be made, let's do 50-50 custody right off the bat after splitting up or divorce but that is never discussed in this Ted talks, they keep doing and saying the same things l no change will come, change yhe fsmily laws, truly enforce them and you shall see a change, in other countries that does nit happen because the court orders are enforced.
The focus being solely on "father" absence is simply an exoneration of women's behaviour which leads to children who aren't raised by their fathers. It's not men's fault women decide to raise children on their own. It's not men's fault women alienate children away from their fathers. Let's have a more balanced picture of why men are excluded from the lives of their children.
Sorry for my English. Thanks, for your words. Youre absolutly right. I did not see my daughters for more than 30 years now. For a couple of years ago i had a heart attack. They did not even send me a postcard, and ask me how i was. The mother had a lot of men behind my back. That was the reason i had to leave. It was just in the same time, my mother past away. The same year, my father. My heart was broken. My daughters choosed the side of their mother. And they never spoke to me anymore. Now after all these years i, m still broken, but very very angry too. Because,...like you allready wrote, its not allways the father, who,did all this. I had no choice at all.
@@MrGlume There are situations that exist as you say, but most of the time it is Dad's abandoning their children. My Dad abandoned us when my sister was 9.5, I was 1.5 and my mother was due to give birth to my younger sister in two weeks. We never heard from him again. I discovered he had married another woman, without divorcing my Mom and enjoyed opera and musicals in New York while we had to grow up in a series of foster homes.
Father absence, more like exclusion. This talk does more damage than good to father's trying to make the commitment. Instead of being a coward telling an audience of mostly women what they want to hear go stand in front of the court and help fathers. Get essays from excluded fathers, not children. Few fathers are lucky enough to have the financial resources to keep fighting and if you work 12, 16, 48 hour shifts to pay for lawyers you're told it's not a good environment if you're always working. Excluded.
This is a phenomenal message. Every dad in America should live by it every hour of every day.
On the heels of the World Series... David hits a home run with this TEDx Talk on Father Absence! The downstream effects of father absences can be devastating to our children, our families and our society. In my opinion, father absence or fatherlessness has become the greatest socioeconomic issue we face as a society today. David is a true champion for the fatherless! He works tirelessly, volunteering his time, to highlight and bring awareness to the plight of the fatherless and the negative generational effects it can cause.
DAD’s - Start creating your positive fathering legacy today! Be present in the life of your children! Be there! Enter their world and invite them to enter your!
Couldn't be said better. The non-judgmental approach is what i liked about the message. Keep up the great work.Dave!!
the fact that this video doesnt have more than 1 millions views is a proof that the world isnt healthy thank you for your message of love of faith of hope
Great message for all!! As someone who has had the pleasure of knowing the Hirsch family, David and Peggy you have been tremendous parents to your 5 beautiful children! Thank you for the work you are doing with your fatherhood initiative.
Powerful. Touching. Inspiring. We can and must do better.
Fatherless is the #1 crisis in the West, after God-less. CALL Congress today to end the anti-father $4.4 Billion annual S.S. matching incentives Title IV-D, that flow to divorce judges and police for minimizing fathers.
David Hirsch nails it. He's not beating up on dads or heaping on guilt. He's saying, "Dad, you matter." And, "Dad, love on your kids. Enjoy them. The time you invest will pay dividends that last forever." If you live in Illinois, support the Illinois Fatherhood Initiative any way you can.
This made me cry. 🥺
Thank you.🤍🙏🏻
I wish i had that for my children...I, too, am a single mom. Kids 13 and 8. Their dad has given up on himself and I am trying to care for my girls on my own. My worry is that they are missing out on a positive role model in their father and learning that this is how it should be for them. Great listen...
Shame there is nowhere for him to turn to get help so he can get back to being a great dad that the kids need.
But think of it this way, they are blessed to have you for a mom to love and provide! So you are the example that they need right now!
Perhaps dad will step up to the plate? It is our prayer! But often he misses out in ways that cannot be explained!
To me it’s the expectations and comparisons. When I had so many expectations of my father, I had much more disappointments. Now I have zero expectations, I feel released! It doesn’t sound normal in the heathy family. But it’s a good thing to do in such abnormal settings.. and never compare yourself with others who have nice family. We are not victims, because of it, we become stronger than any others. We need to turn negetive into the positives. Our parents mess it up, but it doesn’t mean our life has to be messy!!!
Even if parents divorce, the parents have to be responsible for their parental role. It ought to be illegal, a crime, if a father or mother doesn't participate in the upbringing of the emotional , mental and physical wellbeing of a child until the kid is 18.
Wow! Great speech! I've seen and experienced firsthand what happens to kids, especially boys, without a father figure in their lives and it typically leads to a very hard road. Thank you, David, for all that you do to bring this issue to the forefront of society and raise awareness.
Get rid of no-fault divorce. Not divorcing somebody just because you're bored of them. That kind of mentality needs to stop
Amen.
Aman
Now you can’t do that. How are all the attorneys and court people supposed to make money if there’s less divorces. 😂
Dad wasn't around. Raised by a single mom. 30 years old and still have the pain from it. I had no father figure at all and it screwed my life up until I decided to develop my manhood myself. Im doing well but life could have been so much better.
Clem con, you can be the father you never had! Just keep working on yourself! Believe me, you weren't the problem! But learning to love who you are as you become all you were meant to be! 💞
My father was too busy for me, so I found my FATHER GOD who has never turned away or forsaken me!
It really sucks that this big of an issue doesn't have national attention. It's one of the fundamental reasons why so many children in less wealthy areas aren't doing well in school, and the reason there's a lot of gang related crimes. This issue needs to be addressed.
My ex wife chose the right to be drinking continuously anytime one of her 8 siblings was around, over the right of her children to have a father. The legal system supported her decision.
In my country after divorce happens 80%of fathers would abandon their children. By abandon I mean they would stop the communication completely, stop supporting their children financially and even call on their birthdays. It's absolutely socially acceptable and nobody judges or blames the father, people tend to blame the mother instead because "the men wouldnt leave a good woman and she must have been a bad wife"
Dont blame fathers for everything
The people that blames the mother are absolute correct, you really think that 80% of dads don't want to see their children? You have no idea what you're talking about, only looking at your photo I can already imagine what airhead you are.
What country are you from?
Yes because they can't afford the lawyers fees and they are excluded
@@djdusted6485 kazakhstan
As someone currently in the middle of a divorce, fighting what looks to be an all out custody battle, its tough man. The fathers are missing because society decided it was a great idea to make it as hard as possible to continue being a father once a relationship ends. I'm fighting it, but most people don't have the resources I have, and maybe we should start putting the kids future first.
If I didn't have the resources I do have it would be incredibly easy, and fathers do it every day, to just walk and blame it all on my ex wife. Until we put the kids interests first, and make the divorce industry less of an industry, this problem is going to continue.
Thank you for the information. I've not been able to reflect on my fathering. Now I have some tools to do that. KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT!!!!!
great share and relevant in ACE forum in Scotland, thank you David Hirsch
I completely agree but a good number of those fathers are not involved because they don't want to be.
Gem of a Speech!!
Absent dads have many issues that are linked to their past and genetics, such problems will always be prevalent as there are little we can do to get these men understand the type of help they need to receive.
Till they receive help, it’s hard for men to maintain or gain the courage and resilience they need to recognise and exhibit their rights to be with their children.
The mum may stop you from seeing your child, keep trying even if it takes years.
Show your child you are trying so hard to fight for them by trying to adjust the way you approach the mum if she is making things hard for you.
It will be hard, but at least you tried to be best man you can be for your child. Don’t give up.
And to the men who just give up and abandon their child, hope you shared what happened. Something must have happened that cause you to give up so easily. Find help to gain courage for yourself and your child.
Why are you not calling out the vile women who keep the men from seeing their children in the first place?
With a court order in place I turn up every week to pick my son up and every week I don't pick him up, sometimes I get to have a chat with the police that are called on me. I go back to court get it enforced and we go around in circles and every circle costs me £8500
My wrong doing.... I dared to disagree. After evidence was brought forward in court I was proved right and correct by a doctor.
I saw my son every day for the first 2 years of his life. He is now 8.
In the eyes of the law this is in the best interest of the child, in the eyes of society I don't try hard enough and in the eyes of my son I don't exist.
It's OK tho, men have no problems.
My dad wssnf around he always said parents never go see the child it’s the other way round. 😕… anyway I tried and tried but he is so wrapped up in his own life that he missed out all our life’s (brothers & sister). I really don’t know what to say because I’ve always wanted to know him. It’s sad but I understand that he’s not bothered
22 out of 27. That is horrible and unacceptable.
My father has been a no show since I was 4
There are too many family courts in this country that are biased towards women due to outdated laws and social norms. The learned mindset that no one loves a child more than their mother and that mothers are naturally better equipped than fathers to rear children have contributed to a subconscious bias that leads to many courts typically granting automatic custody to moms while dads often have to prove their worthiness and discredit the moms in order to gain custody. I also don't believe that child support issues should make a dad ineligible for visitation. Time is just as important as money and some dads get punished simply for not being wealthy. I do believe that child support services have strayed quite a bit from holding deadbeats accountable to profitting of off financially present parents. There are also entirely too many deadbeat dads willingly abandoning their children because it's easy to and because society has come to expect it since it happens so often. Then there's the issue of vindictive moms using their kids as pawns against their exes.
Children with actively present fathers tend to be more self assured with better emotional development, motor and social skills. Fatherless sons tend to lack the ability to emotionally connect and stay with their own kids and romantic partners, and fatherless daughters are more prone to clingy emotional attachments to their sons and romantic partners. The kids are NOT alright. In my personal story, my father and momma broke up before I was born but absolutely adored each other. Roadblocks were never put in his way, he's just a financial and emotional deadbeat who showed up maybe once a year and had kids everywhere. The short time I lived with him, my wonderful and selfless stepmom was the one taking care of me. My mom was overextended; we lived in poverty and I had to co-raise my sisters because she was always at work. My bond with her suffered greatly from lack of quality time and pleasant experiences. The fatherlessness left me emotionally starved- with depression, fear of abandonment, feelings of inadequacy, and trust issues with men. Luckily, I didn't fall into the statistic of obsessively seeking a man's love through a son or any man I could get and ending up a young single mom or in a pattern of abusive relationships. However, I will always have a void that no one but him can fill and the pain I've lived will always be with me.
This is such a multifaceted issue that will require effort, accountability, patience, and respect from moms, dads, kids and the law. Our children need their dads.
Great incite, im a father who has been alienated from my children for 14 years. Courts don't care because social security act title Iv-D profits are more important then childrens relationships with their parents. Where is the talk and walk on this subject
It's unfortunate but this problem is a problem that can only be solved by holding woman accountable for their actions. A very high percentage of woman deny fathers their rights of visitation and the court system is biased for women. Until that changes, this problem will never be solved. A woman can endanger and neglect her children without consequences while a father who pays his child support gets denied his right to see his children. I'll bet the speakers mother who he holds on a pedestal chased his father away and denied him a relationship with his son. Often times, a man gives up because he knows all too well the system is against him and rather than go thru the insanity of fighting an up hill battle he walks away. And before anyone tries to psycho analyze me, I raised all 5 of my children alone without any involvement from the mother, but it was a long expensive fight that almost cost me my freedom and my sanity. Like the speaker I'm also from Chicago, so I'm more than familiar with the biased family court in Chicago.
laylow597 you’re assuming . He holds her on a pedestal because she did It on her own , and that is extremely dangerous .
Sounds like you denied the children the right to see their mother, which is no better.
It's tragic that sexist youtube pushed your comment to near the bottom when it has the most likes and replies by far.
MGTOW
Change divorce laws, and custody laws Problem solved
How about true equality in the way we think and treat fathers especially in the legal system pertaining to divorce and child custody!?🤔hmmm. Sad reality is fathers are booted to the curb all the time.
men dont want to be involved in their childrens life. thats why women act so loose now because no matter what a dude wont marry you not even if he knocks u up. n women had to step up and be both roles mother and father and statistics are not right all the time. think about where are they getting their information from.. anyway duces dudes
Where are those men?
Good look trying to get your court order for access rk your children when the mother decides you should not your kids, the police will only tell you to to court and the court takes a snail pace to do anything, you want to solve the issue create and enforcement of access agency and get the court order be enforce by police with heavy fines to parents who deny access unjustified or break the orders and agreements but no one will do this so since there is no money to be made, let's do 50-50 custody right off the bat after splitting up or divorce but that is never discussed in this Ted talks, they keep doing and saying the same things l no change will come, change yhe fsmily laws, truly enforce them and you shall see a change, in other countries that does nit happen because the court orders are enforced.
dream stans
The focus being solely on "father" absence is simply an exoneration of women's behaviour which leads to children who aren't raised by their fathers. It's not men's fault women decide to raise children on their own. It's not men's fault women alienate children away from their fathers.
Let's have a more balanced picture of why men are excluded from the lives of their children.
Sorry for my English. Thanks, for your words. Youre absolutly right.
I did not see my daughters for more than 30 years now.
For a couple of years ago i had a heart attack. They did not even send me a
postcard, and ask me how i was. The mother had a lot of men behind my back.
That was the reason i had to leave. It was just in the same time, my mother
past away. The same year, my father. My heart was broken.
My daughters choosed the side of their mother. And they never spoke to me
anymore. Now after all these years i, m still broken, but very very angry too.
Because,...like you allready wrote, its not allways the father, who,did all this.
I had no choice at all.
@@MrGlume There are situations that exist as you say, but most of the time it is Dad's abandoning their children. My Dad abandoned us when my sister was 9.5, I was 1.5 and my mother was due to give birth to my younger sister in two weeks. We never heard from him again. I discovered he had married another woman, without divorcing my Mom and enjoyed opera and musicals in New York while we had to grow up in a series of foster homes.
TFM CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO BE A REAL FATHER. Not this hack
Father absence, more like exclusion. This talk does more damage than good to father's trying to make the commitment. Instead of being a coward telling an audience of mostly women what they want to hear go stand in front of the court and help fathers. Get essays from excluded fathers, not children. Few fathers are lucky enough to have the financial resources to keep fighting and if you work 12, 16, 48 hour shifts to pay for lawyers you're told it's not a good environment if you're always working. Excluded.