Discipline or Regret - A Father's Decision | David Knapp-Fisher | TEDxStanleyPark

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  • čas přidán 18. 06. 2015
  • During end-of-life reflection, many people express regret for opportunities missed. Here, a father explains his efforts to avoid this scenario and shares the surprising source of his inspiration.
    David Knapp-Fisher is a father, husband and writer. He has three passions: family, world travel and sharing his story.
    Email: davidknappfisher@gmail.com
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Komentáře • 132

  • @rumana3211
    @rumana3211 Před 9 lety +61

    'We need to focus on what we can do rather than what we can't do'-This became my motto. Thank you David!

    • @davidknapp-fisher6955
      @davidknapp-fisher6955 Před 9 lety

      Rumana Monzur Thank you Rumana! You live this creed so perfectly; I'm honoured to call you my new friend! David

  • @paulaknappfisher
    @paulaknappfisher Před 9 lety +85

    Great job honey! Your message is very well crafted and incredibly entertaining.

    • @hotmomceo7585
      @hotmomceo7585 Před 5 lety +1

      It was beautifully articulated...I loved the message...forwarding, forwarding, forwarding-->

    • @manoloborja388
      @manoloborja388 Před 4 lety

      Bless you guys

    • @SilverySiren
      @SilverySiren Před 2 lety

      It was inspiring for me, since I'm kind of stuck in regret and needed a push to move towards discipline :)

    • @SilverySiren
      @SilverySiren Před 2 lety

      It was inspiring for me, since I'm kind of stuck in regret and needed a push to move towards discipline :)

  • @jennifermacleod3170
    @jennifermacleod3170 Před 2 lety +2

    Thank you, David! "Embrace challenges and do not procrastinate". I've now got those two phrases on a sticky note, which means I pause every day and take inventory. (What am I avoiding? What am I waiting for? What really matters?) Bless you - you have made, and continue to make, a difference!

  • @maiasam
    @maiasam Před 4 lety +18

    I still come to watch this whenever I need a little push. It always adds a little pep in my step and continues to be relevant in whatever I am going through :)

  • @leslienelis301
    @leslienelis301 Před rokem +1

    Oh my goodness, I’m crying over here 😢what a great father you are.

  • @teachingsources8121
    @teachingsources8121 Před 6 měsíci

    A profound wisdom wrapped in a moving and inspirational story. Thanks for a new mantra to recite when facing life's important decisions.

  • @melissajhaynes
    @melissajhaynes Před 9 lety +32

    So inspiring! What a courageous son you have and an incredible mentor for a father. This really hit home for me, thank you David, thank you!

  • @danegreenwell2589
    @danegreenwell2589 Před 11 měsíci

    I had the pleasure of meeting David in an out of the blue scenario unrelated to his book or speaking engagements and there was an incredible aura around him. We had roughly a 10 minute conversation and made links to personal life connections quickly. He mentioned his book and TedX talk and I was excited to watch. There must be something about the methods he follows because it really shines through when he interacts and his story here was quite inspiring.
    David if you see this - it was an absolute pleasure to meet you!

  • @charlesberry4893
    @charlesberry4893 Před rokem

    I come back to this ted talk whenever I need a reminder to do better

  • @deliafil
    @deliafil Před 8 lety +17

    Thank you David :) My child also has DMD and hearing your thoughts on discipline really opened my perspective. I have always tried to pack as much as possible into his short life, but struggled with the costs enormously, especially as his medical needs are very costly as well. I will now think again before buying an expensive coffee and use that discipline to counterattack future regrets :)

    • @davidknapp-fisher6955
      @davidknapp-fisher6955 Před 8 lety +2

      +Delia Filipescu - Thank you for your kind words! Hey, and maybe still treat yourself to the occasional (expensive) coffee, but know that the power in achieving many difficult things is having a concrete goal to reach for, and then a plan to follow it to completion. This strategy has worked well for us, even throught the tough times. Thank you again for your words, and my best to you and your family. David

  • @MillicentStClaire
    @MillicentStClaire Před 5 lety +3

    Fantastic talk! So beautifully told. Good parenting is everything and as a parent, I'm in awe of David and the model of leaning into the difficulties and HIS positive attitude in the midst of a grim medical diagnosis. Then to see how Tristan turned out, and his amazing attitude -- that was more than inspiring. Let parents and people everywhere choose the pain of discipine!

  • @justinborge
    @justinborge Před 8 lety +16

    This talk came to me at possible the most opportune time possible. Thanks so much for putting yourself out there and telling your story, David. As someone who has always struggled with procrastinating on my dreams and the fear that I may not achieve them, I feel more inspired right now than I have a in a long time. Keep kicking ass and don't forget to post more videos and give more talks.

  • @haphuongnguyen3358
    @haphuongnguyen3358 Před 2 lety

    Dude makes a terrific father

  • @Aquariansea11
    @Aquariansea11 Před 7 lety +9

    A really great talk that reminds us all how important it is to live fully, be present, and do what we love to do. Also a great reminder to be grateful for the time we have, and our health. David's son and his accomplishments living with muscular dystrophy are incredible. Thank you for sharing your story, David. This is such an inspiration!

  • @encikroh1974
    @encikroh1974 Před 5 lety +3

    Tq sir.. as a dad im shaking my head.. what an amazing inspiring absolutely beautiful talk.
    Made me realise i need to help my children before the opportunities gone forever. Again tq 1000x.

  • @erinlee2964
    @erinlee2964 Před 9 lety +14

    Absolutely strong and powerful speech David! Thank you for sharing this message, and I loved the comment about how much Tristan has seen versus most 40 year olds! I hope this touches people to make changes in their own lives!

  • @CY-vd4sh
    @CY-vd4sh Před 5 lety +4

    Hands down one of my favorite talks!! You have no idea how much I needed this!! Thank you, David!!

  • @jjgbkerr
    @jjgbkerr Před 6 lety +1

    So incredibly powerful.... What a fortune that you are "each other's" .... I love this. Thank you - truly, thank you.

  • @benpetrie3639
    @benpetrie3639 Před 2 lety

    Beautiful, David!

  • @canuckplace
    @canuckplace Před 9 lety +11

    Thank you for sharing your story. Amazing, and very inspiring.

  • @mikegoncalves4885
    @mikegoncalves4885 Před 7 lety +4

    Absolutely awesome! Such an important message and reminder. Thanks David for words, the wisdom, and inspiration... you're awesome and I'm grateful. I have a good feeling I'll be watching your talk regularly as a reminder to always choose discipline - Cheers!

  • @conchirico564
    @conchirico564 Před 2 lety

    Best talk ever! Best story ever! I am so glad to have the privilege to watch it! David, you and your family are a huge inspiration for the world. THANK YOU!

  • @mindvolution
    @mindvolution Před 6 lety +2

    Wow. That's the spirit we should all live our lives with!

  • @susanisaacdesignandshardsg4442

    Well done David, powerful message from your heart and home, very inspiring. Thank you.

  • @TheMyouri
    @TheMyouri Před 4 lety

    Amazing Father !! Amazing Son !! You are go getters !! You are inspiring at so many levels ; THANK YOU !!

  • @inspiringsuccessforyou2034

    Great advice David! Thank you!

  • @steevansingarayer1127
    @steevansingarayer1127 Před 4 lety

    Discipline is a most valuable aspect to be given to our children

  • @zalezeviar2761
    @zalezeviar2761 Před 8 lety +1

    Well done David....a perfect delivery on a topic that is so dear to so many parents and about life itself. Thank you for getting this message out there and being who you are. You are a great soul making a difference in the world. God Bless you. It was a real pleasure meeting you.
    Zale

  • @JackyAYenga
    @JackyAYenga Před 9 lety +6

    What a passionate and inspiring presentation David! Thank you for sharing Tristan with us, I feel like I know him. I know he is a cool guy, very courageous and content with his life. That's because of his dad... You inspire me to choose the pain of discipline. Thank you.

  • @sarahceciliefinkelsteinwat9735

    This is so incredibly moving!! Thank you!!!

  • @simonroberts5084
    @simonroberts5084 Před 6 lety

    Thank you for such wonderful inspiration.Youre a fantastic father,

  • @guillemrierapalou1760
    @guillemrierapalou1760 Před 6 lety +1

    Great talk. It makes me realise life is worth living at the full!!

  • @manoloborja388
    @manoloborja388 Před 4 lety

    This is beautiful..as a new father it's very touching.

  • @lateasecoddington-wardell3100

    well done very inspirational, the love 4 your son is beautiful, Thank you

  • @sarahwebb6179
    @sarahwebb6179 Před 8 lety +2

    What a fantastic talk - in delivery and content! I hadn't considered discipline and regret in this way before and it's completely changed my perspective. Motivating and powerful. I am convinced this will change the way I live as I stop to consider how a single decision can impact my life and the lives of others I care about. I am going to jump in with both feet and live each day just as you do with Tristan. Very inspirational. Thank you, David.

    • @davidknapp-fisher6955
      @davidknapp-fisher6955 Před 8 lety

      +Sarah Webb you rock! Thanks for stopping by, and please let me know if we can help you out in the future! Cheers, David

    • @TSAX
      @TSAX Před 7 lety

      very well said David. i feel moved by what you shared. very inspirational right from the very bottom of your heart. God bless you and Tristan all the more. from Philippines with Love. Cheers!

  • @waltzingmel
    @waltzingmel Před 9 lety

    WOW!!!! First-rate talk David! I loved your honesty, your energy, and your philosophies. I believe everyone should come away from this presentation ready to embrace life. So grateful that I am getting to know such an inspiring family. Happy and blessed to call you "friend" :)

  • @theEXPEDITIONproject
    @theEXPEDITIONproject Před 8 lety

    Absolutely love it David! Cannot wait to one day meet both you and Tristan!

  • @dominicboyer8024
    @dominicboyer8024 Před 7 lety

    wow David, very nice talk and on point. your story is inspiring. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

  • @ambalalgurjar62
    @ambalalgurjar62 Před 3 lety +1

    You are great father.

  • @clairesnyman895
    @clairesnyman895 Před 6 lety +2

    Outstanding talk - thank you David! Wow - those 4 ways to live life are written down in my book as we speak - Embrace your challenges, focus on what you can do and the rest.... gotta watch this talk :)

  • @001D51
    @001D51 Před 5 lety

    Thank you David!

  • @droy589
    @droy589 Před rokem

    Wao!! that is wonderful. Just wonderful.

  • @parvphalore3143
    @parvphalore3143 Před 8 lety

    Dave.....This talk came to me at a very important time. I listened to it a day before an important interview and it gave me so much energy and enthusiasm and drive that I got the job! Don't procrastinate, make things happen for yourself if you believe in them and always ALWAYS believe in yourself......and I did!! Thanks Dave. I am blessed to have met you as well and wish you all the best. I will be keeping in touch for sure...!!

    • @davidknapp-fisher6955
      @davidknapp-fisher6955 Před 8 lety

      Parv Phalore Thanks Parveen! VERY KIND WORDS! Make sure you stay in touch~! Cheers, David

  • @melissajhaynes
    @melissajhaynes Před 7 lety

    This message never gets old, thank you David. Must endure the pain of discipline! Thank you :-)

  • @ivanlee7657
    @ivanlee7657 Před 3 lety

    I wanna cry hearing this.

  • @DaytonaVision
    @DaytonaVision Před 3 lety

    This was great, I been struggling with parenting. I will now choose discipline. Wow, thank you. Eye opener.

  • @ambam90
    @ambam90 Před 5 lety +1

    Wow. I wish my dad was like him when I was growing up.

  • @gilnamur7210
    @gilnamur7210 Před 9 lety +1

    Well done my friend. A great message and a great delivery!
    I have no doubt that it will resonate with many folks and tough hearts, minds and spirits.
    WELL DONE!!!
    Cheers,
    Gil

  • @jillpearson4848
    @jillpearson4848 Před 8 lety

    What an inspiring message, David! And what a gift you gave to your son in that moment of discipline and clarity. I once heard someone say that when you hear the comment "I wish I could do that" (and I'm sure you've heard that about your trip to Europe) what it usually translates into is "I'm not willing to make the sacrifices necessary to do that." Your point about the pain of discipline vs. regret injects credibility and realism into the YOLO concept . . . yes, you only live once, but that doesn't mean you throw caution to the wind and hop on everything that comes your way. There is often some discomfort and sacrifice needed to make the biggest dreams and goals a reality - but they are usually temporary, while regret - as you point out - can last a lifetime. Thanks for sharing your personal story and some thoughts on how to tackle our own bucket lists - I'm doing my best to ensure that list won't haunt me on my deathbed!

  • @iam3072
    @iam3072 Před 3 lety

    Amazing!!! Thank you so much!

  • @Q.Mechanic
    @Q.Mechanic Před 3 lety

    I hope you and your family are blessed

  • @sofiang9022
    @sofiang9022 Před 4 lety

    Thank you for sharing your experience, it helps me a lot. I'm struggling with depression, I will embrace it now.

    • @sahalmohamed3477
      @sahalmohamed3477 Před 4 lety +1

      Dear Sofia, listen the Clip down here, it will help you for Depression and i hope you will find peace...!!!.

  • @1madcelt518
    @1madcelt518 Před 5 lety

    Thank you so so so much. 😢🙂. It made me and smile all at the same time

  • @wendydaniels2489
    @wendydaniels2489 Před 9 lety +1

    Wonderful message, David. And very well done!

  • @mentor2052
    @mentor2052 Před 2 lety

    Very inspiring. While I learnt a lot, the major takeaway from my perspective is that we don't have time. We only have today and even that is not guaranteed. We should allow this lack of time to decide our actions, not money, not people, not predicaments but time and only time.

  • @Lasya755
    @Lasya755 Před 4 lety

    Very inspiring. Thank you

  • @Burak_Bingol
    @Burak_Bingol Před 3 lety

    tou are the father!!! well done!!

  • @denmandan5911
    @denmandan5911 Před 9 lety +3

    Very insperational. I think that this is something everyone needs to hear, and soon!!

    • @davidknapp-fisher6955
      @davidknapp-fisher6955 Před 9 lety +2

      Dan Lonsdale Thanks Dan! Please share far and wide and help me spread the word! Thanks! David, Paula and Tristan~!

    • @tejinkaur932
      @tejinkaur932 Před 4 lety

      Dan I told her she is some kind o

    • @tejinkaur932
      @tejinkaur932 Před 4 lety

      Dan Lonsdale has to

  • @billyg6648
    @billyg6648 Před 3 lety

    Thank you sir for making this video!!

  • @teeshalinn
    @teeshalinn Před 9 lety

    Well Done David! Such an inspirational talk :)

  • @Pjblabla2
    @Pjblabla2 Před 5 lety +1

    What a beautiful talk!! Thank you

  • @facundorutherford9114

    Excellent work

  • @gt4748
    @gt4748 Před 6 lety

    Thank you.

  • @pchu9668
    @pchu9668 Před 9 lety +1

    What an honest and inspirational talk. Thank for the important reminder of choosing discipline. Incredible family!

  • @parikshitrathod5109
    @parikshitrathod5109 Před 3 lety

    A great talk
    Learned a lot .

  • @NelsonRdm2Sanlez
    @NelsonRdm2Sanlez Před 5 lety

    Love you Man!!

  • @hathu-hy8bb
    @hathu-hy8bb Před 3 lety

    So inspiring ✨ 🙌 ❤

  • @thisiscarpedm
    @thisiscarpedm Před 8 lety +1

    Awesome ! Magnifico! Bravo! Mi gusta mucho! Thanks for visitng us while in Ecuador :)

  • @xikano8573
    @xikano8573 Před 4 lety

    Dad of the century. 👏👏👏

  • @LexaTerrestrialx
    @LexaTerrestrialx Před 4 lety +1

    YES! yes and yes

  • @killianngala4019
    @killianngala4019 Před 4 lety

    Inspiring. ..

  • @techgyannepali5126
    @techgyannepali5126 Před 3 lety

    Thank you

  • @lila.d3062
    @lila.d3062 Před 4 lety

    Tiny discipline!! 😺 I want to wake up earlier to get more things done. However, the baby still doesn't let me sleep much.This video gives me hope to keep moving forward as a single parent & accomplish all my short/long/dream goals.✊😅

  • @lenkamuhammadova1463
    @lenkamuhammadova1463 Před rokem

    Good daddy ❤😊.

  • @alliepebbles276
    @alliepebbles276 Před 5 lety +1

    Bravo!

  • @shirleymitrou1735
    @shirleymitrou1735 Před 4 lety

    A great reminder on the things that matter! Thanks David for this great TED talk!

  • @afterlifejannah9740
    @afterlifejannah9740 Před 4 lety

    Omg, I’m just at 1:33 he ve said so much truth

  • @kimpuchek1956
    @kimpuchek1956 Před 3 lety

    Thanks

  • @HarisSanthipurathYoosafali

    Nice presentation skill

  • @techgyannepali5126
    @techgyannepali5126 Před 3 lety

    Very inspiring speech sir.. lots of love from Nepal🇳🇵

    • @davidknapp-fisher6955
      @davidknapp-fisher6955 Před 3 lety

      Thank you!! I love your country! Visited last Nov and plan to return once we are able to. My very best to you, my friend!

    • @techgyannepali5126
      @techgyannepali5126 Před 3 lety

      Love you sir🇳🇵

  • @fionaluland2353
    @fionaluland2353 Před 2 lety

    This is all well and good and I'm so happy for the life experiences he's been given and the amazing human being he's become...but to a single mum, living on the bread line with a disabled son... this just screams disability is fine as long as you can throw a pots of money at it...

    • @etc6615
      @etc6615 Před 2 lety +1

      I am so sorry for your struggle.
      I pray that our Lord will give you the grace to “focus on what you can do” as the speaker said.
      Blessings to you my dear ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
      Your child is blessed to have you because he is not alone in this world.

  • @choafff9350
    @choafff9350 Před 4 lety

    CEO of being a great father

  • @preferredprovider1958
    @preferredprovider1958 Před 3 lety

    My husband and I heard the message differently and I need clarification. I understood it to be discipline yourself now so you don't have regrets on your death bed of not spending wonderful times with your loved ones and also for yourself with limits (not the way he's thinking) Do whatever it takes. My husband heard to to mean enjoy his life now and do what HE wants to do (travel by himself, buy fancy stuff, go out with friends, spend, drink, live his own life). How can it be that we both heard the same talk and understood it so differently?

    • @davidknapp-fisher6955
      @davidknapp-fisher6955 Před 3 lety

      Hi, it's David here and thank you for your question. My intention with this talk was to give the idea of discipline as you interpreted it; a small bit of discipline today creates much bigger opportunities for the future. For me, the very idea of "discipline" is about delaying gratification for the greater good, not doing what we want now, in the moment, without a thought for the future. This approach is the exact opposite of discipline! If this was your husband's take on it, the central idea was misunderstood and perhaps a second viewing will clarify. I hope this helps; Thank you for your support, and I appreciate your comment!

  • @CumbiaDancer5678
    @CumbiaDancer5678 Před 8 lety

    Hola! I am pleased to say I was viewer # 997 & I loved it! Cumbia Dancer :-)

  • @xavi5298
    @xavi5298 Před 5 lety

    I'm not crying you're crying

  • @linguaphile9415
    @linguaphile9415 Před 6 lety

    I wish I had a dream.

  • @gemthomas
    @gemthomas Před 4 lety

    That's a Ted Talk

  • @CUP1DS-B0W
    @CUP1DS-B0W Před rokem

    I want to stay in your program

  • @sudhirps
    @sudhirps Před 4 lety

    What any child needs is love and care. It’s independent of all the other things you bring to his or her life. Sometimes parents harm the child by forcing their dreams using the child as a pretext. You can show the world to a child from your drawing room with livid imagination and active engagement. Many parents in poorer countries sacrifice more than just a beer, with much aplomb and practicality. It’s no point badgering the child to thank the parent eternally for doing a favor for fulfilling the parent’s dream. The talk intrinsically lacked the depth about meeting the child’s real need it rather came across a man’s insecurity about being vulnerable and filling the the insecurity with lots of bragging. I hope no one takes offense and understand what I’m trying to convey.

  • @pvsk10
    @pvsk10 Před 2 lety

    Life is hard

  • @CUP1DS-B0W
    @CUP1DS-B0W Před rokem

    I am shock of what I had heard…. I keep thinking I was believing in something that it’s truth from day1 …. That’s how my gesture and decision was reflected on it. But I guess it’s no way that a mom wants to break the marriage

  • @mssummerrose1
    @mssummerrose1 Před 5 lety

    Accidents don't happen out of the blue... maybe he should've taken the doctor's advice to take it easy... he has a restless energy about him ...

  • @aslanalmatrouk4208
    @aslanalmatrouk4208 Před 4 lety

    God always do things to the people for a reason. Good reason. don't forget that.

  • @NecroMorrius
    @NecroMorrius Před 4 lety +1

    Tldr rich man went on holiday

  • @chestersykes5124
    @chestersykes5124 Před 4 lety

    Cue his book telling everyone what they are doing wrong... an why we should echo his ego's desperate attempt to gain back some relevance.

  • @theertharaj263
    @theertharaj263 Před 3 lety

    Any malayalis

  • @Livetoeat171
    @Livetoeat171 Před 4 lety

    All of the places that he went in Europe, and the things they saw was probably not on the child’s bucket list. He should’ve taken him to Disneyland and places that would have an eight-year-old interest instead of his own interests to see Europe.

    • @davidknapp-fisher6955
      @davidknapp-fisher6955 Před 4 lety +1

      Hi Montaine, Thanks for your comment; just so you are aware, we'd taken Tristan to Disneyland five times before this trip, and he wanted to see where I grew up in Europe, so that's why we chose that. When we went to NYC, it was 100% his choice to choose where we went.

    • @Livetoeat171
      @Livetoeat171 Před 4 lety

      David Knapp-Fisher thats great!

  • @Livetoeat171
    @Livetoeat171 Před 4 lety

    I thought in the title of this video, that “discipline“ meant to correct your child’s behavior. WRONG...you need another title!

    • @davidknapp-fisher6955
      @davidknapp-fisher6955 Před 4 lety +1

      Hello again; the discipline in the title refers to what we choose in our life, and the outcomes it has, as explained in the first minute of the talk. Please read through the comments posted by some of the other people who've watched this and it should clarify this option. Thanks again for watching, it's appreciated. David

    • @missautumn764
      @missautumn764 Před 2 lety

      I thought the same thing, but loved what it turned out to be!

  • @sheltonoday4347
    @sheltonoday4347 Před 2 lety

    The squalid spear expectedly park because turkish kelly found barring a disastrous risk. clean, third viola

  • @davekohler5957
    @davekohler5957 Před 5 lety

    What is will all the Ted talk speakers and their dehydrated mouth noise... It is extremely annoying and distracting.