When Is It Time To Let Go?
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 23. 07. 2024
- We hear this question a lot... When is it time to let go? Should I let go? It's a simple question that requires a complex answer. Every situation is different, but in this episode we dive into this question and give helpful insight backed by research.
If you or someone you know are a victim of domestic abuse, visit www.thehotline.org/ or call 800-799-7233.
Time Stamps:
0:00 - When is it time to give up and let go?
1:12 - When they found him a foot from the ground.
2:12 - The principle of not leaving what you have unless you believe better.
3:47 - Physical jeopardy and safety.
5:17 - How to end a marriage?
7:13 - How long does a person need to wait for a divorce?
9:05 - Have you done everything you can do to save the marriage?
10:12 - The hard decision to divorce and start dating.
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#LettingGo #Standing #marriageadvice
Marriage helper plz make a video on what to do if your spouse avoids pysical intimacy completely on all grounds. Plz give solution a lot of people want to know
I wouldn't be going to anything better at the moment unless being alone is better than being in a marriage where I feel lonely and there's no or little interaction between us, let alone affection, emotion, intimacy.
I love your channel by the way. It helped me more than months of therapy
Thankfully my sons and i do see progress. We have been standing for over 10 months now.
Dr. Joe, you are the BEST! God bless you.
I am so so grateful to the Universe for people like you and all your hard work. You have given me so much hope.
To the universe ?đ
I don't get it. If someone left because they thought they found something better, why would people like us want them back? While we were together in the early stage, everything was fine. When you get married, buy a house, have a baby and then things may get tough, either financially, PIES, and with the pandemic which didn't help, and a partner leaves because they felt they got something else better than what they have to deal with, would we really want them back? It just doesn't make sense.
Being with someone is mostly a emotional thing. If things gets fixed, why would it be wrong to get an ex back?
@@marko5472 Well, if we did not cheat, did not stray around, but that someone left because they couldn't handle our shortcomings, such an example would be financially. Even if you got things fixed, and they came back, how could we be so sure that they would stay for the long haul if things don't go as planned again? How can you deal with finance if the other spouse desires are far more greater than what you could provide (which you have already provided the necessities) but not satisfied? If that person did not love you enough to stay with you during the bad times, why should we want them back into our lives when we managed to pull ourself together and back on our feet.. with pain, struggles, effort, suffering and doing it all alone? It is not wrong to get an ex back, but is this the kind of person we would want back in our lives? Someone who would be with us only because when things are fine and dazzling... but not instead, being someone who truly loves you even when times are really rough? That's a tough question to deal.
Sounds like my situation. Things are fixable and I've been told to change but I had a mental block. I'm seeking help now and working on my PIES but getting the cold shoulder from her. I refuse to divorce if it gets to that point because I strongly believe in keeping my family together. I can respect her choice to walk away doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm fighting for me and my kids to have their parents present 100% in their lives and not 50%. I'm 5 weeks in separation
My story when I let go. He started to become addicted to prescription drugs, he stop providing for his family. I left and while we were apart I asked him to go to counseling together and he said he didn't want to. That's when I knew it was time to divorce.
We were married for 36 years. Very sad indeed
Does anyone consider total refusal of physical intimacy a form of abuse?
it is emotional abuse yes
Yes
That's the worst form of abuse. It makes you develop inferiority complex
Yes, but I focus on the end result not the moment. I want my husband to return, is he playing a game- maybe, so whatever, I said for better or worse and I meant it.
Yes it is
Thank you
Can you do a video on how your able to tell that the lord is softening your husbands heart towards you please.
Loved your comment about sleeping with Innocence.!! Unfortunately I think there is a lot of people going without sleep! and not looking in the mirror!đź..not sure how they do it..
Watching from Brazil đ§đ·
Nearly 4yrs in separation, no signs of reconciliation, Iâm ready to let go. đą
Im sorry you are going through this. Four years is such a long time, is there even a marriage anymore? A divorce is simply paperwork at this point.
@@kmb5678 youâre absolutely right, I held to the hope of reconciliation for so long, believing God will do a miracle, but youâre absolutely right, there is no marriage, no union, Iâve waited all this time & should have let go a long time ago.
@@Peaka01 you have one life. You cant spend it waiting for someone who isnt showing you love. Perhaps seek counselling to help you grieve, let go and move on. You need help through the divorce.
@@kmb5678 thank you
@@Peaka01 you deserve love. You can do this x
My situation is weird: we got divorced after a year and a half of being separated. Recently he gave me back my things but now he just continues to string me along in conversation. Itâs frustrating and annoying. I decided to today to just go ghost on him for a while just so I can breathe and not be hurt every time I see his name across my phone screen. I need to heal. And he isnât admitting his wrong in anything and most of the conversations have been fruitless.
Hoover?
Dear Lord he hurt me so badly, and I've hurt him. But I want nothing more than to have him home. I love him more than I ever thought I could love a man. He asked me to file for divorce for him because he can't and I can't bring myself to do it.
Do not file for divorce if you still think there's a chance to get him back
Agree don't file
Donât file, if he wants to do it, he will do it.
đą
I'm sorry. He's a coward if he's wanting the divorce then he needs to be the man and divorce you.
So if my Divorce goes through, and after time things rekindle⊠Iâve told myself that I want her to date but if sheâs been physical with someone, I wouldnât be comfortable with taking her back. Is that a thing? Is that ok?
Im at this point
If you find yourself asking that question more than once, the answer is yes
My husband has come on financial difficulties and says its going to delay the divorce. I may have pushed when i said "ok I don't want this anyway" but I don't want him to be struggling đ I just wont pay for his divorce agenda either.
Maybe he doesnât want it either and is having different thoughts. Prolonging commitment to an action by a voice of doubt or regret or a moment of clarity after bad emotions
Bonjour comme vous voulez et comme vous pouvez aussi merci
Wife is dead set on divorce, moving out soon. Friends and family urge me to let go. Dont know what to do. She also exhibits unacceptable behavior and has done so for years. I accepted my own faults and largely asked for her forgiveness. What to do?
Let her go. You can't fix her
You can't fix her, but maybe you can show her the way. Don't sacrifice yourself, but if you give what you can and follow MH, you might just be amazed at how she responds. Best of luck, my friend.
Let her go & pray that God heals her or saves her if she isnât saved, get close to God & ask Him to heal your heart. Give it time.
@@js44317 Thank you very much for your kind words. I'm now focusing on becoming a better person. Hopefully this will show her the way as you say, even when we're separated.
@@Peaka01 Thank you. Happiness does come from within and I'll do my best to focus on becoming a better person.
At 1:37 this is where the church, and society has it wrong. The first wife could have gone back to her husband without breaking up his existing marriage.
Could you elaborate on that?
@@randman21 There's the legal side, which the church and Western society limits to monogamy based on Greco-Roman tradition, then there's the moral/Biblical side which has always allowed for polygyny. Nowhere did God our creator ever condemn a man, whether Abraham, Jacob, Moses, David, etc. for having more than one wife. In fact, He told David if he had wanted more, all he had to do was ask. David was only ever told he sinned when he took SOMEONE ELSE'S wife. All of the men listed above are considered righteous. It is the modern church that throws them under the bus by calling them adulterers, yet God says adulterers will not enter heaven, and these men will all be in heaven.
The only problem is a LEGAL problem in the first wife's situation in that a LEGAL marriage would not be allowed, but a covenantal marriage WOULD be allowed.
Marriage is a covenant between a man and his women before God anyway, until the governments stuck their noses in it.
@B4DWrath
You make a valid point.
But In Genesis God said a man would leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife, not "wives." and New Testament leaders are reqrequired to be the husband of one wife...
After the flood reset, everyone was one man one wife.@@mamajen4jesus Polygamy was not allowed, the fruit of it spoke volumes of why it was sin or man's fallen state. No polygamous family flourishes ever.
@@anretta Correct! :)
When youâve tried every avenue possible. Fixed your own flaws. I tried so hard to get her back but there was someone else. I had to walk away. As soon as another person is with them, the relationship is damaged forever. Break your heart and move on. Day by day.
, emotional, and mentally abuse
This is called coercive control under a new â family â law that was put in action in 2019 .Check it out .
@@fishstickbio594 thank you very much I will check it out
The secret is not to get married in the first place!
Who would consider a lifetime commiitment where the odds are 60% that it would fail?
Imagine the poor quality of the remaining marriages?
Sadly, most divorces today are initiated by women for the benign reason of being âunhappyâ in the marriage. All other valid reasons, such as actual abuse, infidelity and threats to oneâs life, are largely edge cases. Additionally, men and women (generally) cheat for different reasons. The reality is that âmarriageâ in the West, which is a state-run contractual agreement, is no longer beneficial to men-and, most importantly, does not incentivize fidelity. The odds are the average person of today will not be able to stay true to the oath that they take so either you should avoid marriage OR accept the fact that your wife will tire of you eventually and leave you for a (perceived) better option.
You need self awareness
Marriage is an unnecessary institution. As long as one is responsible for any children, if one wants a different partner, it's no one else's business other than her/his own & any partner/s.