Not Doing That Great

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  • čas přidán 15. 05. 2024
  • In which John is feeling a bit like all his nerve endings are on the outside of his body. But I do sincerely hope you like the turtles all the way down movie, which comes out Thursday on Max. • Turtles All The Way Do...
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Komentáře • 1,7K

  • @GinnyDi
    @GinnyDi Před 15 dny +4873

    "I am extremely thin of skin at the moment" is officially entering my vocabulary now

  • @evanrman8048
    @evanrman8048 Před 15 dny +3241

    You're allowed to cry, John. You're setting an example for the rest of us that it's part of being human.

    • @geeksdo1tbetter
      @geeksdo1tbetter Před 15 dny +29

      Crying is normal. I always cry.

    • @lucijac8884
      @lucijac8884 Před 15 dny +6

      ​@@geeksdo1tbetter you, kind person, win the internet today!

    • @JF-qf4oq
      @JF-qf4oq Před 15 dny +21

      Sneezing, though. Not normal at all.

    • @harharbinks07
      @harharbinks07 Před 15 dny

      +

    • @JPiplup77
      @JPiplup77 Před 14 dny +3

      I have been binging her album and weeping when needed. We are all allowed to cry. Sometimes there’s just too many emotions to hold them all in, be it good, or bad, or both. Sending love, understanding, and excitement for the movie. 💜

  • @therealpixie
    @therealpixie Před 15 dny +287

    I’ve survived over 70 years with depression. Two things have helped me. After many bouts, I realized the problem was not a product of my surroundings, but a result of my bad chemicals. If I have a cold, I do not define myself as a cold, but as a person you happens to have a cold. If I am suffering depression, I do not define myself as that depression, but rather as having that finite condition I will recover from just like a cold. The second is, it’s okay to ask for a "poor baby” sometimes. It just feels so good to have someone commiserate with me, no judgment, just loving acceptance and a desire I feel better.

    • @adamgreenspan4988
      @adamgreenspan4988 Před 13 dny +14

      self awareness of “uh oh, I’m having some bad chemicals thoughts and feelings, that’s what those are and not an accurate reflection of my self worth and likely future prospects” really helped put me in control with regards to depression. It let me consciously and rationally choose to take a little time out (usually through naps or going to the movies) to let the negative emotions burn off and let me get back to being my actual self again.

    • @heydeanie
      @heydeanie Před 11 dny +4

      "poor baby" reminded me of a wonderful book, faking it by Jennifer Crusie... Couldn't agree more. We all need a " poor baby" occasionally

    • @rmdodsonbills
      @rmdodsonbills Před 10 dny

      And if you're really lucky, you might get a person or two in your life who can give you the "poor baby" sometimes without even having to ask.

    • @therealpixie
      @therealpixie Před 10 dny +2

      @@rmdodsonbillsMany of my friends and loved ones exchange our “poor babies”. Never know when you’re gonna’ need one,

    • @ccubed215
      @ccubed215 Před 3 dny +2

      This is the first person I’ve ever heard aay “I’ve survived depression for 70 years” so thank you very much. We only ever see examples of people losing the battle on tv.

  • @savs88
    @savs88 Před 15 dny +141

    When I first saw Vlogbrothers, I was a college student. Now I'm a law professor. I also struggle with mental illness. Thank you for being an older figure I could observe and resonate with. I (parasocially, respectfully, distantly) love you, John. Bless you.

  • @IlIlllIllIlIIIll
    @IlIlllIllIlIIIll Před 15 dny +2391

    Your successes do not invalidate struggles. You are allowed to cry.

    • @K8tieR6
      @K8tieR6 Před 15 dny +9

      +

    • @krank23
      @krank23 Před 15 dny +4

      ++

    • @myboatforacar
      @myboatforacar Před 15 dny +23

      + It's worth noting that your struggles, while completely valid, don't invalidate your successes either.

    • @hopegold883
      @hopegold883 Před 15 dny

      Yes, and art is a commodity because people want it and value it. That’s how we got the whole idea of buying and selling. As much as I detest the resulting capitalism as we know it today, I can’t help but think it came about naturally.

    • @Norman834
      @Norman834 Před 15 dny +1

      +

  • @danielarthur04
    @danielarthur04 Před 15 dny +1742

    My dad passed away yesterday so I’m also Not Doing That Great. You said once something along the lines of “the problem with going on holiday is that I take myself with me”. I’m feeling that now. I feel like I’d be better at this if I wasn’t bringing myself and my mental health problems with me in this. I’m trying to tell the people around me that they’re doing a good job, but it’s hard feeling completely powerless as those you love suffer the most. I’m grateful for this video today, I’m grateful for a video today. It’s something beautifully normal. My dad was a great man. I’ll probably delete this soon but I’m feeling a great urge at the moment to tell people. He was and is the best.

    • @danielarthur04
      @danielarthur04 Před 15 dny +341

      He also always loved my awesome socks. He thought the whole thing was absolutely hilarious, he’d always wait whilst I opened them and ask to see the design, and end up laughing. I haven’t been able to bring myself to open the April socks which arrived today. At some point I will. I might also order a bunch of duplicates at some point.

    • @kimono5484
      @kimono5484 Před 15 dny +86

      Sorry about your dad. 💙

    • @vlogbrothers
      @vlogbrothers  Před 15 dny +783

      Dan, there is no way to be good (or bad!) at loss and grief. You're doing a good job. I'm just so so sorry for your loss. -John

    • @tygerstripes3752
      @tygerstripes3752 Před 15 dny +70

      I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your father. This is one of the very hardest times for anyone. I went through my Mother's death a few years ago and all I can say is just keep moving. Do what needs to be done, support others and take support where it's offered.

    • @untappedinkwell
      @untappedinkwell Před 15 dny +120

      In nerdfighteria, we have a saying when someone we love passes away: Rest in Awesome. If I may, May your dad Rest in Awesome, and may his memory be a blessing in time.
      And for right now, please be as gentle with yourself as you can, okay? Be gentle for as long as the Grief is with you.
      And thank you for sharing your memory about the socks. It's wonderful.

  • @Fesgtrsa
    @Fesgtrsa Před 15 dny +106

    I have a very long commute and I have to take the train to work. I’d had a shitty day at work and I was stood in the passage between carriages because I wasn’t in a place to be able to deal with people or being seen. A passing train guard came along, saw my face - then he stopped and asked if I was ok. This is a Northern European country - no one talks to anyone else unless they absolutely have to. He really seemed to mean it. I know he was only doing his job, to look out for people who could be planning something terrible for themselves or others, but no-one had asked me if I was ok in such a long time, that I almost started bawling right then and there. I still think about the guy from time to time. He’ll never know how much that meant to me, and how much just that simple question helped me.

  • @HaibaneRakka571
    @HaibaneRakka571 Před 14 dny +90

    "all my nerve endings are outside my body" reminds me of a phrase that has quietly fallen out of modern lexicon: "I'm feeling frayed". I think it's a normal human experience to hold ourselves up and then feel a visceral sense of being overwhelmed when we start to wind down. It's something I learned from your books, and I've always felt that BECAUSE it is common is WHY it's important. To feel frayed is part of being human, and the rest of us as humans should love and understand and support a person who is in that moment. Rest well, know that you are loved, thank you for all that you do

  • @TwistedRiddles
    @TwistedRiddles Před 15 dny +1549

    John, I hadn’t even considered how much talking about your mental health in public would be a drain on you. I have OCD (I know that in large part BECAUSE you were open in talking about it), and when I have to (well choose to) talk about it in events at work, it’s a drain on me.
    I am also EXTREMELY privileged, but to quote your brother, it still hurts when I stub my toe.

    • @vlogbrothers
      @vlogbrothers  Před 15 dny +435

      Thanks for those reminders! -John

    • @velocirapper
      @velocirapper Před 14 dny +20

      Great way to frame it

    • @dottieanderson267
      @dottieanderson267 Před 14 dny +66

      I use the "it still hurts when I stub my toe" all to time to help me understand my own feelings. It doesnt mean I don't recognize my privelage, but privelage doesn't negate all pain

  • @SlashAndInkOfCrimson
    @SlashAndInkOfCrimson Před 15 dny +2130

    AH. WHY IS HENRY SO TALL. IM IN DENIAL ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

    • @vlogbrothers
      @vlogbrothers  Před 15 dny +1001

      Taller than Sarah! -John

    • @SlashAndInkOfCrimson
      @SlashAndInkOfCrimson Před 15 dny +240

      @@vlogbrothers And then YOU REPLY TO MY COMMENT. What is this the TWILIGHT ZONE?! 😂😂😂

    • @twoleftsright
      @twoleftsright Před 15 dny +549

      Henry and Alice are 5 and 3 and you can't tell me otherwise John.

    • @SlashAndInkOfCrimson
      @SlashAndInkOfCrimson Před 15 dny +37

      @@twoleftsright my thoughts exactly. 😭❤️

    • @DarkkestNite
      @DarkkestNite Před 15 dny +85

      Paternity leave feels like it was just the other year....

  • @annawenrich
    @annawenrich Před 15 dny +19

    Someone empathizing and saying, "this must be quite difficult for you, I'm sorry" and responding by saying "thank you," and bursting into tears was my experience multiple times this past week.

    • @k33k32
      @k33k32 Před dnem

      I hope your week gets better soon

  • @jojo02114
    @jojo02114 Před 14 dny +34

    I have been married for ten years. So I deeply appreciated the line: "Spoiler alert: the secret is, like, mutual respect." when describing how you and Sarah have had a long and healthy marriage. I find it a mix of funny, infuriating, and sad when popular culture is like, "Man, they've been married for more than 6 months. What is this ancient magic?"
    I am flying to Chicago today with my family to commemorate the one year anniversary of my mom's death this Sunday (Hank's One Year Out video also really hit home hard because of this, particularly because she passed away due to pancreatic cancer). Needless to say I am also very thin of skin at the moment.
    I do want to say though that in light of the movie I recently purchased and read TATWD for the first time. It has helped me immensely in wading through my own mental illness and grief. It's also given me a new perspective into OCD (which I do not have) and given me a deeper respect for you and all who suffer from it. Thank you for reminding me that we can struggle with mental illness and still live joyful and meaningful lives. I look forward to watching the movie tomorrow.

    • @k33k32
      @k33k32 Před dnem

      Sorry for your loss, internet stranger.

    • @marciadafne
      @marciadafne Před dnem

      Scrolling down the comments to find someone talking about the super secret recipe of mutual respect

  • @hellosaera
    @hellosaera Před 15 dny +1132

    it’s nice when people acknowledge each other as human

    • @vlogbrothers
      @vlogbrothers  Před 15 dny +459

      Not the internet's specialty but nerdfighteria is generally quite good at it! -John

    • @sometalkaboutbeinghuman
      @sometalkaboutbeinghuman Před 14 dny +5

      i agree! ❤❤

    • @elisa.llew-send
      @elisa.llew-send Před 14 dny +2

      ++

    • @feuilletoniste
      @feuilletoniste Před 13 dny +11

      Yes! It's why I've been feeling weirdly nostalgic for the worst days of the pandemic of late - not because I was having a good time, and nor was anyone else, but because for that brief moment everyone agreed that it was more important to be human and mutually vulnerable and honest about our anxiety and exhaustion than to put on a smiling face in the name of Productivity. How swiftly the institutions that bind us forget...

    • @EcceJack
      @EcceJack Před 13 dny +1

      +

  • @matteratt
    @matteratt Před 15 dny +957

    “I, while trying to say ‘thank you,’ burst into tears” might be my favorite description of how weird it is to be a human among other humans

    • @ayerhead07
      @ayerhead07 Před 15 dny +40

      I'm feeling very seen by that statement. My 39-year-old husband was hospitalized with a pulmonary embolism this weekend after a relatively routine shoulder surgery, and it's the first major health crisis either of us have ever faced. At one point some friends were staying with him while another friend took me out to get some air. I was picking up sandwiches from Firehouse Subs and was very clearly Not Doing Well. As I was leaving, a very precious little girl about 6 years old in a princess dress was walking out ahead of me with her parents. There was enough of a gap that the door closed between us, but the little girl stopped and waited, then opened the door and held it for me. I, while trying to say "thank you," burst into tears.
      I try my best to live the ethos that you never know what someone else is going through, and right now I'm on the other side of it. I having so many swirling feelings of fear, anger, gratitude for the people holding us up. I couldn't finish Hank's last video because it was just so raw, as I was sitting in the hospital with my sleeping husband who hours earlier had been writhing in the worst pain of his life. Life is so weird and sometimes so fucking hard, and I'm so grateful that being a Nerdfighter has helped me both see people as people and learn to let them see me.

    • @waffles3629
      @waffles3629 Před 14 dny +7

      Yep, I loved that, even if it hit me like a gut punch. I've been there, and it's hard and scary and vulnerable.

    • @carolinecagle3266
      @carolinecagle3266 Před 14 dny +3

      Thank you.

    • @OneTraveller
      @OneTraveller Před 14 dny +10

      @ayerhead07 - I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sending love to you and your husband.

    • @Me-vn3gz
      @Me-vn3gz Před 13 dny +2

      this is why i struggle to talk about what im feeling while im feeling it, afterwards there’s distance between me and the feeling so i can speak plainly about it

  • @lauriedepaurie
    @lauriedepaurie Před 14 dny +11

    I recall a neuropsychologist who said: happiness is a chemical state of the brain, which if anything, is only mildy and temporarily affected by external factors.
    I love our human nature trying to find logic in things, because we find it so often and learn from it. But there is no logic to our emotions, let alone thought spirals, anxieties etc.
    Being fortunate doesn't change it. If anything, from personal experience, being depressed just makes me feel even more awful BECAUSE I know I'm privileged.
    You're such a great advocate. Thanks! We need you, we love you and we're here for you.

  • @maj-britt5756
    @maj-britt5756 Před 13 dny +20

    Dear John
    Just saw the movie with my daughter who has OCD. She cried! She felt so seen, it was tough for her to see OCD “from the outside” and she felt so hard with Aza - because she KNOWS how she feels (the bandaid spot on). But it was a good experience and we loved it.
    My daughter is doing exposure therapy and fighting her OCD every day and we believe she will learn to control her OCD, but it is a fight that requires great strength, willpower and courage.
    Thank you for this!
    With gratitude Maj from Denmark

  • @AeroKlaine
    @AeroKlaine Před 15 dny +944

    Big love to that reporter (I would’ve cried too, John)

    • @vlogbrothers
      @vlogbrothers  Před 15 dny +460

      Big big love to that reporter. Such empathy! -John

    • @DeborahBoschert
      @DeborahBoschert Před 15 dny +12

      @@vlogbrothers Terry Gross could learn a thing or two from him, ahem.

    • @therabbithat
      @therabbithat Před 15 dny +29

      When he said what the reporter said I was like "that would make me cry" and then he said he cried and like, of course!

  • @maggieo
    @maggieo Před 15 dny +657

    Yesterday, I did the dishes, put a bunch of old magazines in the recycle bin, opened a week's worth of mail and packages, and in the same way John cried when the reporter talked to him, I'm crying now at my little bit of successful self-care in the middle of a big depressive episode. Thank you, John and Nerdfighters, for helping me take the win.

    • @AndreaCrisp
      @AndreaCrisp Před 15 dny +27

      You did great. I know how hard just doing the basics can be. 🤗

    • @elainebelzDetroit
      @elainebelzDetroit Před 14 dny +18

      You are amazing! I am in awe. I have the same struggle. I hope you're feeling better soon.

    • @MarkThePage
      @MarkThePage Před 14 dny +19

      If it was difficult to do, then it wasn't a "little bit" of success. By definition, you had a BIG success today.

    • @MinurielLai
      @MinurielLai Před 14 dny +9

      Wow, well done! I've also been struggling with mental health & I KNOW just how daunting even just the dishes can be, so great job!

    • @lambentlamprey
      @lambentlamprey Před 14 dny +10

      You smashed it. When even the 'little things' take so much effort, every little thing yo=u do is a win.

  • @whatcanidooo
    @whatcanidooo Před 14 dny +8

    For me, OCD has been one of the few illnesses where talking about it doesn’t always help me. So I really can’t imagine what it would be like having to do it constantly. We’re all proud of you and grateful for what you put out in the world, John, and your life being good doesn’t mean you stop being a human who is allowed to not feel great

  • @emilypollock4581
    @emilypollock4581 Před 15 dny +12

    Seeing John’s kids being so big really blew my mind. I was their age when I started watching vlog brothers and really feel like they helped raise me and help create my sense of empathy growing up and I don’t have words to express how grateful I am

  • @Martcapt
    @Martcapt Před 15 dny +464

    I fucking love this corner of the internet.
    People are allowed to feel their feelings.

  • @FlyKiwi
    @FlyKiwi Před 15 dny +405

    Mutual Respect is a seriously underrated relationship tool.

    • @untappedinkwell
      @untappedinkwell Před 15 dny +5

      big mood.

    • @jliller
      @jliller Před 12 dny +1

      I would imagine since most relationships involve an imbalance of power and control that typically impairs mutual respect.

    • @FlyKiwi
      @FlyKiwi Před 12 dny +1

      @@jliller Gross, imagine living like that by choice

    • @jliller
      @jliller Před 12 dny +1

      @@FlyKiwi A lot of people want to dominate or be dominated. Lots of reasons why: self-esteem issues, trust issues, control issues, upbring, narcissism, sociopathy. I agree they're all unhealthy.
      To say nothing of the relationships (romantic or otherwise) where the imbalance is involuntary. For example, ideally everyone should have a mutually respectful relationship with their boss at work, but the power imbalance makes it inherently difficult for most people, even in situations where both boss and employee have genuinely good intentions and behavior.

    • @paddleduck5328
      @paddleduck5328 Před 11 dny

      👏

  • @theladyincute1
    @theladyincute1 Před 11 dny +2

    I relate so much with this sentiment. I grew up very poor - like my mother and I were homeless poor - and today I have a wonderful husband, son, I went to great universities, we just bought our first home, I have my dream job that pays me well, I am really living the dream that I never thought was possible for me. But some days are hard, and mental health issues run in my family. I often feel guilty for even thinking about being sad or anxious. But we’re human, and sometimes we need to cry even when we’re thankful. Appreciate you reminding us of that.

  • @Jamie_says_weirding_is_real

    Thank you, humans who teach me to keep my heart soft. ❤️

    • @fionna909
      @fionna909 Před 14 dny +1

      That’s beautifully said ❤

  • @Jesslovescoffee29
    @Jesslovescoffee29 Před 15 dny +205

    I applaud John for graying out his kids faces. More famous parents should do that! Bravo so happy for you!

    • @Alfonso162008
      @Alfonso162008 Před 15 dny +12

      It's great, but sadly, if they were at the red carpet with him, he can't do anything about it if they published the photos in magazines and other websites and stuff.

    • @Hellenrosehart
      @Hellenrosehart Před 15 dny +25

      @@Alfonso162008i mean, if they're there it seems like him and Sarah are okay with that. Just not on the youtube channel, I guess you have to draw the line somewhere.

    • @kaypgirl
      @kaypgirl Před 15 dny +20

      I think they're of an age where John usually asks them if they want to be in his videos or Instagram. Henry was on John's Instagram post where they showed off their red carpet outfits and Alice wasn't. The kids would have made the choice to walk the red carpet and pose for photos.

  • @christopherdelude9441
    @christopherdelude9441 Před 15 dny +216

    "I have won a bunch of lotteries" -- I've often daydreamed of winning the lottery, and when I do it usually devolves into thinking how stressful it would be to manage the logistics of getting it, donating it, filing taxes with it, handling pressure I get from outside people...blessings can be extraordinarily stressful! Stay hydrated, eat well, get sleep, and take care of yourself John!

    • @N3rdfightermom
      @N3rdfightermom Před 14 dny +5

      I always tell my kids it would be great to be rich but I would NEVER want to be famous! But I am also an accountant so I feel like I could handle the taxes 🙂

    • @wildflower1397
      @wildflower1397 Před 14 dny +3

      Here is an alternative narrative. When you win, hire a lawyer and a financial advisor before you even claim the prize. You can now afford to let them deal with all the b.s. for you. Then you can just sit on the golden egg and let let it all sink in for a while, before making big decisions. If you are already thinking about donating some of it, then you are naturally generous, so it will come easy to you. It's the people who try to buy everything and do everything all at once who get into trouble. But not you, because you are busy relaxing outside and enjoying the feeling of knowing that you have all the time in the world to decide what to do next. :)

    • @3countylaugh
      @3countylaugh Před 13 dny

      Blessing can't be extraordinarily stressful is a useful thought for me too

  • @RobotLovesKitten
    @RobotLovesKitten Před 15 dny +3

    John, thank you for Turtles All the Way Down. It means so much to me as a book and as a talking point. It has been nice to hand that book to people and say 'This! This is what a spiral feels like for me.'
    I hope you are able to rest soon and restore. But I am enternally grateful for the work you are doing talking about mental illness.

  • @Judymontel
    @Judymontel Před 14 dny +5

    Ahhh. Many years ago I met a new friend with a newborn in a baby carriage. She had many other children of various ages and had also organized the wedding of one of her older sons. She was very happy. She was very blessed. But the way it felt at the moment... she was really, really exhausted. It was all good news - the best news - but good things are also exhausting and wear you down. It was an important lesson for me.
    I hope you have adequate recovery time real soon, John!!

  • @lyadmilo
    @lyadmilo Před 15 dny +294

    I just got home from the psych ward. Much love for all those Not Doing Great. For both very personal and very global/geopolitical reasons, this has been the worst year of my life but my wife and friends have risen so greatly to the challenge of loving me that I am forever grateful beyond measure. One day I will see that it is because I am worth it.

    • @untappedinkwell
      @untappedinkwell Před 15 dny +29

      May the day that you see it be closer than you think. Thank you for being here with us.

    • @niftythegoblin
      @niftythegoblin Před 15 dny +17

      I was in your position last year. It was, truly, one of the hardest years of my life.
      Developing selfworth comes with small acts of personal recognition. Even for things that you think are not worth celebrating - "I didn't talk down to myself today!" "I got out of and/OR did my bed" and don't get me wrong, it feels silly at first. Sometimes it feels like you're condescending yourself. But weirdly, the harder you push at that, as well as unpack any traumas w a mental health professional, you will see a difference. You are not just loved, but you are deserving of that love, and you deserve to love yourself. I hope you get there soon :)

    • @theazalealemon
      @theazalealemon Před 15 dny +13

      My mantra is "I am beloved, and I am enough." It makes so much difference to know that. I hope you can start believing it soon.

    • @sydney5228
      @sydney5228 Před 14 dny +8

      i’m glad you’re here 🫶🏻

    • @earnestlanguage4242
      @earnestlanguage4242 Před 14 dny +4

      i can relate bud. i am a person and I deserve kindness and a better world. you are also a person and deserve good.❤

  • @BelindaShort
    @BelindaShort Před 15 dny +125

    I was in a dispensary and I mentioned I had cluster headaches, and the girl behind the counter said OMG I'm so sorry, those are so terrible! I broke down into tears because that was the first time I felt seen.
    Congratulations about the book and the movie!

  • @KWolf2013
    @KWolf2013 Před 15 dny +5

    I've noticed that when I am hugely overjoyed that can tip me right back to anxiety because there is so much going on in my body. I can't imagine the feelings for such a huge project that involves so many people and is so personal. Thank you so much for helping people learn to talk about mental health ❤️

  • @dyskelia
    @dyskelia Před 15 dny +5

    Awww the burst into tears part when someone shows empathy is so relatable

  • @kimmykimmie
    @kimmykimmie Před 15 dny +160

    The movie has so many good hints to nerdfighteria and honestly it made me cry so much.

  • @dubulvr
    @dubulvr Před 15 dny +614

    Pausing my mental breakdown to watch this 🫡 I too am not doing well💀
    Edit: Um currently tearing up reading your comments 😭 I love y’all and I’m sending so much love to all of you! Thank you for your messages and I’m so grateful we have such a sense of community🫶🏾

    • @lazerouthx
      @lazerouthx Před 15 dny +40

      Hugs from a stranger to you.

    • @vampirica89
      @vampirica89 Před 15 dny +27

      take care of yourself 💜

    • @emms8
      @emms8 Před 15 dny +20

      Sending you heaps of love n hugs❤ Pls take extra good care of yourself ❤️

    • @kevinwells9751
      @kevinwells9751 Před 15 dny +18

      I'm sorry you're going through it right now, I hope that you can find the love and support you need to get through whatever it is and that you make it out to the other side

    • @evanrman8048
      @evanrman8048 Před 15 dny +9

  • @thevortex7075
    @thevortex7075 Před 10 dny +2

    “a weird mix of being overjoyed and at the same time, not doing that great”. Wow that really resonated. Thanks John for sharing this.

  • @crystacox3081
    @crystacox3081 Před 15 dny +2

    I personally feel like we need more “bad at being famous” people like you. Your books are what brought most of us into the community at first, but your humanity is what made us want to make it more than a John/Hank Green fanclub. I think we’re all really grateful that you are starting these conversations about mental health. I can only imagine how draining and uncomfortable it must be considering I’ve done it on a small scale and nearly had a come apart. Sending you all the well wishes you need and then some. Can’t wait to see the movie!

  • @charliesnow664
    @charliesnow664 Před 15 dny +65

    "All of my dreams are coming true??" - he said incredulously.

  • @twoleftsright
    @twoleftsright Před 15 dny +84

    This video really hit home for me. I have had a gruelling 5 year journey to getting my PhD, and I took 3 weeks off over Easter to decompress and celebrate. Then, when I got back to things my dog passed away suddenly and now I am lying on the couch, coughing my lungs out with the flu. So I, too, am not doing great, and I, too, cried at that reporter's empathy. Stay strong John. You're almost home.

    • @iiiiitsmagreta1240
      @iiiiitsmagreta1240 Před 15 dny +7

      I'm sorry past what words can express 🫂

    • @MinurielLai
      @MinurielLai Před 14 dny +2

      That sounds tough, I hope it gets easier soon!

    • @heyimfreckles
      @heyimfreckles Před 12 dny

      I hate when things pile up back to back like this. I’m in one of those seasons, too. So sorry for the loss of your dog - losing a pet is unbelievably painful. Hope you feel better soon ♥️

  • @vyssla
    @vyssla Před 14 dny +4

    Strange as it may sound, my expensive is that it's not just scary when you open up and someone reacts badly, it's also scary when they react in a good way. Like you get tripped up about if its authentic, manipulation, pity, or just tripped up in general.
    I even react with crying when I witness ppl reacting in a good way to mental illness. My therapist says that's a kind of grief, and that it won't be like that forever, but grief takes time to get out of your system. Because I am fundamentally sad that mental illness is stimatized. So thank you for working on improving our lives

  • @lauraceae8037
    @lauraceae8037 Před 14 dny +2

    John, hearing you talk so honestly about your OCD and the absolute hell it can be has been so helpful in validating my experience and explaining it to others. I recently exited what can only be described as a very extreme year-long episode of near constant scrupulously and existential ocd, and one of the hardest things about it was explaining to people that, no, ocd isn’t “just” being neat or clean or organized: sometimes the compulsions are more invisible, and either way they can be all-consuming. Thank you for coming out of your comfort zone for people like me

  • @brm117
    @brm117 Před 15 dny +201

    “Life is pretty weird” feels like the modern “Life moves pretty fast” from Ferris Bueller

    • @duckofdeathv1595
      @duckofdeathv1595 Před 15 dny +10

      Are you implying that Ferris Bueller is not modern? I will not have it!

  • @marcellastname6862
    @marcellastname6862 Před 15 dny +32

    "And I, while trying to say thank you, kind of burst into tears" is a total vibe

  • @ollie72
    @ollie72 Před 14 dny +2

    this is so so real and true and honest. i am fortunate and privileged enough to have been recently diagnosed with an often-invisible disability, but now that means in order to advocate for myself, i have to explain every aspect of the inner workings of my brain and heart and soul. like in order to succeed and survive i must be dissected. it’s a strange feeling for sure. thank you for sharing.

  • @HonestlyElsie
    @HonestlyElsie Před 6 dny +1

    I just watched the movie and it was incredible. So moving and real. I'm very grateful for your presence in the world John. Your work has been a balm and inspiration to me for over a decade. ❤

  • @triciac.5078
    @triciac.5078 Před 15 dny +98

    I'm glad someone in all of this craziness realized that you're human, John. We know you're human, we see it every week when you share a piece of yourself with us. Thank you for showing us your humanity.

  • @rougnashi
    @rougnashi Před 15 dny +70

    Just because your boat is a different shape from another's, doesn't mean it can't fill with water all the same. It's okay that you're struggling with this, John. You're human; we'd never ask any more or less than for you to be yourself.

    • @bellablue5285
      @bellablue5285 Před 14 dny +5

      I like that analogy tbh, haven't heard it before, but I like it

    • @emilydana5021
      @emilydana5021 Před 13 dny +2

      This is such a good metaphor

  • @adwitiyadixit
    @adwitiyadixit Před 14 dny +3

    I got rediagnosed with Depression in my PhD and I have been open about both being diagnosed and the medication in an attempt to destigmatise the illness. It is crucial that we do so because until I heard John say that he is tired not just physically but existentially, I did not allow myself to be tired existentially.

  • @carolinecagle3266
    @carolinecagle3266 Před 14 dny +2

    Thank you. 🎉 Don't forget to be awesome, John.

  • @jonm4206
    @jonm4206 Před 15 dny +46

    Cut to Bo Burnham Inside, "I am not... well" followed by sobbing into his hands. Next time you're feeling overwhelmed send Hank, most of the magazines and non nerdfighters will spend like 5 seconds confused, then assume they had you backwards for the last 10 years. When they ask him if its hard talking about the spirals he'll be like, "Oh yeah let me tell you John.... I mean I... find that very challenging. Wanna hear about Mars?"

    • @afroceltduck
      @afroceltduck Před 15 dny +7

      As in baseball, where you have a "designated hitter", maybe Hank should be the "designated John"?

  • @emilydana5021
    @emilydana5021 Před 15 dny +26

    John, I’m currently in my last month before ordination as a rabbi before going into my job as a children’s hospital chaplain and i very much relate to the feeling that everything is amazing and dreams coming true but feeling unbelievably thin of skin at the moment. We are all allowed to cry.

  • @carollewis5919
    @carollewis5919 Před 10 dny +1

    I watched Turtles all the Way Down just the other day. I randomly came across it on Max and recognized the title and remembered that I never got a chance to read it, so I didn't know what it was going to be about. ( I'm 60 but read a lot of YA books when my daughter was in her teens, at least three by John Green) The movie was great and well done and very emotional. I have a better understanding of OCD now.
    John, I hope you are at peace back home in Indiana. I also enjoyed the cameo. Thank you for all your wonderful work.

  • @gmaland
    @gmaland Před 8 dny +1

    I love how real and vulnerable you are about all of this. You're a great role model to everyone. Looking forward to the movie.

  • @idaslapter5987
    @idaslapter5987 Před 15 dny +61

    Hey John, as they say in your hometown, don't forget that you are awesome. ❤ Hang in there.

  • @mineola_
    @mineola_ Před 15 dny +44

    I just had an appointment with my psychiatrist where she insisted we up my ketamine appointments to twice a week to stop my spiral. So I feel you John. Take care. ❤

    • @geeksdo1tbetter
      @geeksdo1tbetter Před 15 dny +2

      Good luck with the new regimen! (Is that the correct spelling?)

  • @Conus426
    @Conus426 Před 14 dny +1

    Great work John! You are doing so great and we all support you fully.

  • @jayanderson147
    @jayanderson147 Před 3 dny

    Love the statement of "we're both just people" while acknowledging benefit from the system. I think it's really easy to forget just how much of real life is shades of grey rather than moral black and white. I also really appreciate the honesty and vulnerability about mental health struggles

  • @jenniferlutzky7847
    @jenniferlutzky7847 Před 15 dny +35

    Fellow middle-aged nerdfighter here. Came out to the Festival of Books specifically to see the movie and especially your panel, despite being on the tail end of a round of chemotherapy, because I know how hard this all is for you and somehow it felt supportive to be there? And knowing how hard the publicity part is for you makes all the wonderful things you say even more meaningful. I'm so grateful you are able to push through all the discomfort because it's so important for people to see this movie and hear what you have to say. Please take care of yourself.

    • @n_hmo1287
      @n_hmo1287 Před 14 dny +4

      Middle-agreed chemotherapy-experienced here. Sending you a big hug

    • @jenniferlutzky7847
      @jenniferlutzky7847 Před 14 dny +2

      @@n_hmo1287 Thank you so much!

  • @kelsiedonaldson
    @kelsiedonaldson Před 15 dny +19

    They said “babe you gotta fake it till you make it” and you did. Sending best wishes!

  • @deadmanzclanleader
    @deadmanzclanleader Před 5 dny

    I loved the movie. My partner and i watched it together and she illustrated a whole two page canvas in her art book with pictures and quotes from the movie and book. It was clearly impactful for both of us. Thank you for the many ways you have touched our lives.

  • @theodore.frog333
    @theodore.frog333 Před 14 dny

    thank you for your honesty, John❤️ all the love for you!

  • @eviera58
    @eviera58 Před 15 dny +57

    I hope you do great soon John!!

  • @darsynia
    @darsynia Před 15 dny +15

    That part where you point out both you and the reporter are experiencing humanity instead of villainy is the most writer thing EVER and as a writer myself I LOVE. I think you know but it bears repeating: so many of us are Nerdfighters not just because you two are good at what you do and what you create but you're just good at being human in human ways. You allow us into the magic fabric of your dreaming!

  • @luanmarinhomoraes4975
    @luanmarinhomoraes4975 Před 13 dny +1

    just here to say that I'm proud of you John! You're an awesome PE teacher!

  • @terranbricklin
    @terranbricklin Před 15 dny +1

    What a perfect time to see this, thank you John. I'm having a pretty bad time inside my head today, I really appreciate you and sharing your experiences so openly, especially knwoing how terribly draining it must be.

  • @jenniferburns2530
    @jenniferburns2530 Před 15 dny +12

    Thank you for letting us see when you are not ok, and how mental health is not always a simple equation of "good things happening means improved mental health." Your insight into your privilege and struggles reminds all of us that people are complicated, our brains are complicated, and self-compassion is crucial.

  • @JemRochelle
    @JemRochelle Před 15 dny +30

    I also have OCD, and recently I was not doing that great. It's rough. Glad you're here with us John 💖

  • @bjiru_
    @bjiru_ Před 12 dny

    thank you so much for making this, when your feeling this bad, when your just in no mood to do any of this at all, and you still get up to go to all these things, and even make this video.. its extremely inspiring to others who also struggle with things, that they can do it too, and that, its ok to have these things, even the people you look up to most struggle too. thanks john

  • @DaniLong
    @DaniLong Před 15 dny

    Thank you for this, John. I deeply appreciate this so much and so do many, many others.

  • @TheSarahEllie01
    @TheSarahEllie01 Před 15 dny +12

    As a person who carries OCD with me wherever I go like the ugliest little handbag I can relate to the impossible task of talking about OCD while experiencing OCD and I am grateful that you put this experience into words- not just so others can try to understand but so that those of us who relate can share those words and know that other people feel the same. Many hopes that your nerve endings end up back inside your body soon! Can't wait for this film

  • @paulkinzer7661
    @paulkinzer7661 Před 15 dny +11

    'It's complicated.' I cannot imagine all that you are going through. Thanks for your honesty and for having the nerve to share with all of us.

  • @RobertHollis
    @RobertHollis Před 3 dny +1

    Thank you for being a blessing! You inspire so many people!

  • @BrandonGoranson
    @BrandonGoranson Před 12 dny +1

    Been looking forward to the movie for a month, and it was absolutely lovely to watch. My partner didn’t have a chance to read the book, so we implemented a rule: I would answer “John and Hank” questions during the movie, and story questions after. It was a really nice time.

  • @DrThalnos
    @DrThalnos Před 15 dny +26

    The description of exposed nerve endings made me think of a hedgehog with nerves instead of spikes and that sounds horrific, thanks !

  • @ryguydavis
    @ryguydavis Před 15 dny +11

    Thank you, John. I feel such immense gratitude for your humanity in public.

  • @lowbatterylifestyle7025

    Thank you. Vulnerability and genuine openness about topics that are so difficult to discuss requires a strength of character we aren’t all blessed with. Thank you for doing the hard things that some of us can’t but will always appreciate that someone else could.

  • @AngelLife999
    @AngelLife999 Před 11 dny

    Thank you John for sharing your not-okay with us. It is beautiful and freeing and soulful and art.

  • @swightfoof
    @swightfoof Před 15 dny +12

    I first found your work because I heard you on Fresh Air years ago and I was so furious at Terry Gross's inappropriate questions that I felt compelled to find your work and listen to you on your terms. I've been a Nerdfighter ever since. Which is to say, I'm so sorry that you have to go through these incredibly exposing and upsetting interviews. Your work, hearing you on your terms not on the terms of celebrity, is so meaningful

  • @Bostnfn
    @Bostnfn Před 15 dny +13

    OCD sufferer here. Thank you for those times that you can be vocal about it. I've used a lot of yours and your brother's Crash Course videos to help my special-ed students. You guys do great important things, and to do it while fighting OCD is just awesome. It's tough man. I wish you the best.

  • @lorenheinbach7917
    @lorenheinbach7917 Před 11 dny

    sending mental hugs. thanks for doing what you do and being who you are.

  • @lucia26
    @lucia26 Před 9 dny

    Thank you. You are dealing with your and life's complexities in a very real and honest way. Your talent of eloquentness helpes giving voice to people with similar struggles but different talents.

  • @Aatagawa25
    @Aatagawa25 Před 15 dny +17

    As a writer who was diagnosed as an adult with mental health (GAD/ADHD), thank you for writing this book and sharing a glimpse into your navigation of being a writer even with all of the thought spirals and complexities that come with it. Some of my anxieties come in the form of 'what if I don't publish my book', and then immediately after 'oh god and what if I do?' Or 'What if no one reads my book' then 'what if they do?'
    Learning where my support systems are and how to navigate the work-life-writing balance has left me clinging onto my notebook and the dreams held within while the pressures of adult life and a family I am at once insanely grateful for, attempts to crush me. But knowing that it's possible to write about the important stuff makes me want to do so even harder. So I guess I just wanted to say thank you for being a bit of encouragement as I make my way on my own path. I'm so happy that you liked the movie, and I'm excited to see it soon too.

  • @vihakingwhimsicalflame
    @vihakingwhimsicalflame Před 15 dny +37

    glad to hear your kids enjoyed it :)

  • @bel8910
    @bel8910 Před 2 dny

    You're 100% allowed to cry. Thank you for everything you're doing. We understand that it's hard and we appreciate you doing it still.

  • @ericafurgiuele1105
    @ericafurgiuele1105 Před 10 dny +1

    Behold! The Johnny Greeniest of all the John Green videos maybe ever ❤❤❤ we love, you, John! Take care of yourself. We'll be here when you get back.

  • @sarahleonard7309
    @sarahleonard7309 Před 15 dny +6

    As far as I can tell, you are in good company. Quite a few celebrities have opened up about their own mental health issues over the last decade or so. They love the creative and community building aspects of their jobs, but struggle to find space and time to decompress and deal with their thoughts and feelings in a healthy way.
    And hearing that matters to the rest of us schlubs! The honesty matters.
    So I'm very glad that you get to just be you again in a few days instead of being The Guy in Front of the Camera.

  • @tbella5186
    @tbella5186 Před 15 dny +10

    John, of all the things I am, a NerdFighter is one of my most proud and joyful, even through the struggles.
    So thank you, and I hope today you breathe in some of that joy!

  • @kkmcbeath
    @kkmcbeath Před 12 dny +1

    Just finished the film... so beautiful. Thank you.

  • @alysonmarie
    @alysonmarie Před 15 dny +6

    I realize this may come off as sarcastic, but I mean it so genuinely deep in my soul - John, thank you for being so freaking awesome.

  • @colonelb
    @colonelb Před 15 dny +22

    One of the things that helps me when I'm feeling any sort of guilt or shame about my mental health issues getting in the way of life is to remind myself that my anxieties, spiraling thoughts, and other challenges are the result of brain chemicals and structures that have no means of asking, "is now a good time?", nor would they care if they could. They are just doing what they do on the cellular level and they have no clock or calendar. I can't get mad at myself for what my cells are doing or when they are doing it. That helps me put things into perspective - hope it helps others. Cheers.

  • @eliedgecomb4903
    @eliedgecomb4903 Před 12 dny

    Holy moly, John.
    I just watched it and it’s amazing. You’re amazing. They’re amazing. And such love and respect for your struggle and how very well you carry it.

  • @benziko1460
    @benziko1460 Před 15 dny +6

    You and hank have some of the most thoughtful and "real" advice I've ever heard about work life balance and managing mental health in these strange times so thank you for being such a good human John

  • @GuyWithBoard
    @GuyWithBoard Před 15 dny +16

    Love that John blocks out his lil nerdfighters faces on the internet❤️

  • @Makalasbeautybar
    @Makalasbeautybar Před 10 dny

    John, unbelievable work you make. Honestly. It’s been my favorite book since I was a young teen and I’m not an adult, still struggling through my mental states and also trying to having a fulfilling and meaningful life around the seemingly never ending spirals because of course it’s turtles all the way down. The movie made me feel all over again the relief I felt when I read the book for the first time and I never thought I’d experience thats again!
    Thank you and to the crew for making such a beautiful work of art

  • @KatelynJoe
    @KatelynJoe Před 11 dny

    I’ve just finished watching the film, John, and it felt so good to be seen! I am not diagnosed with OCD due to the expense but truly feel this film came to me at just the right time. My intrusive thoughts are contamination based so your story gave me so much hope as well as feeling seen in the struggle it can truly be. Sometimes I can feel like a burden to those who love me, but I also know they are here for me because they do love me. Will definitely be watching again, reading the book, and sharing with my loved ones. 💛
    I hope you are enjoying your rest now out of the spotlight ✨

  • @InsertHandleHere968
    @InsertHandleHere968 Před 15 dny +4

    Thank you for being you. You make the world a better place

  • @sircharlesmormont9300
    @sircharlesmormont9300 Před 15 dny +4

    A world of congratulations to you. I just wanted to let you know that you are appreciated! My library book club is reading your book in August. We're actually just about 2 hours away from you and mostly comprised of middle aged ladies. We try to read from a wide variety of perspectives and wanted to dive into YA for the first time in years, and yours is the book we chose! So support from the next state over.

  • @brunerguy1
    @brunerguy1 Před 12 dny

    I feel comfortable being here. John, thank you. Just so appreciative that you are in my/our life.

  • @jackplexico266
    @jackplexico266 Před 5 dny

    Thank you for creating this book and movie and for talking about your mental health. I semi-recently received an OCD diagnosis. Having books like Turtles All the Way Down, the movie (which I loved and thought was profoundly beautiful), and your videos talking about your mental health has been wildly impactful to me. It has made me feel less alone and given me media that I have been able to share with friends and family when I felt like I was unable to aptly communicate what was going on in my own brain. Thank you, you do really make a positive impact.

  • @littgenstein
    @littgenstein Před 15 dny +5

    Its been tremendously helpful to me and my family to hear you talk about mental illness these last 15 years. Thanks John.. your work is more than a mere commodity, for some of us your candor and authenticity have been a lifesaver.

  • @banditrests
    @banditrests Před 15 dny +11

    For some reason this really reminds me of that interview where someone asked Robert Downey Jr if he’s like Tony Stark and he says no, that’s a billionaire with a bunch of toys, I’m married with kids, I’m a martial artist and I have goats and alpacas.
    Also everything about Taylor Swift makes way more sense if you think about her as a depressed millennial who got famous at 17 who is coincidentally one of the most talented singer song writers of the 21st century.

    • @thatjillgirl
      @thatjillgirl Před 7 dny

      I am always very fascinated by people like Taylor Swift who have lived such patently unusual lives. It must be such a strange and isolating experience, even while it comes with immense privilege.