Everything You Were Taught About Johnny Appleseed is a Lie - If History Were Honest
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- čas přidán 22. 12. 2023
- The story of Johnny Appleseed they taught in schools is nowhere close to the truth.
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Next you're going to tell me the pilgrims and native tribes didn't sit down to have a nice meal together & that christopher columbus was actually a terrible person
Everyone tells you that so he would tell you the opposite. 😉
Im actually curious if they still teach that in school. They retaught us about the colonies like every year it seemed like @@naturalobserver1322
lmao
They actually did sit down for a nice feast that lasted three days, and Columbus really wasn't all that bad for people of the time
Right??
I scrambled around my neighbors' yards eating their crab apples like a sick raccoon! How did you know? Every day people would tell me I was going to get sick and die from it, but I am still here today, the sickest raccoon of all. Can't get sick if you're already sick lol.
But in all honesty, 10% of the apples I've eaten have come from seeds. I love me some crab apples. so many different flavors. some are bitter, some sweet some more sour than sour warhead candy. But I love the variety.
Me too. Grocery store apples are so......homogeneous.
I heard that what you do is plant a seed, get the crab apple tree, then plant an apple from that tree & you get good apples that way
@@elaineb7065 Apple trees reproduce sexually, through pollination. They also have some protections against self pollination, so if the pollen DNA too closely matches the flowers' DNA, the tree won't produce offspring/ seeds that can be planted. So if you plant 2,000 apples from the same apple tree, you'll get 2,000 different kinds of apple tree. Size, flavor, and texture will be different. So some you might find appetizing by themselves, and others only useful for pie or moonshine.
I'm so glad Roger is a time lord. I would be worried if he died and didn't regenerate
Roger is Eternal 💫
Somehow I like Johnny Appleseed more now.
Okay, now we need a dive into apple production and how the apple trees we graft on were made
I was always reading up on mythology and folklore in my school libraries growing up, including Johnny. So I honestly don’t know what I expected from this. Not as bad as I was dreading, but not wholesome like I remember.
Well, I knew he existed and that the apple trees he made produced rather unpalatable fruit, but I didn't know he did it because he was paid by homesteaders to do so or that the fruit was used to make alcohol. Him being a religious zealot I didn't technically know, but isn't exactly a surprise, my impression was that it was pretty common back then.
It's still pretty damn common now. Just look up Kat Kerr, for example. She also claims to be bringing news straight from heaven, and she's allowed to drive a car and vote
Yeah if you don't start making the beast with two backs BEFORE getting married, you're a "religious zealot".
Are social diseases "woke" now?
When "expert opinions" and "scientific study" can be bought to tell you whatever you are supposed to hear, what more is "for science!" than the outcry of a religious zealot?
As far as the unpalatable fruit, I did some looking into this and so far I've only found one author who said that was the case. Others were saying that the stuff he planted was good for applesauce.
@@SiriusMinedso, 25% of seed based apples will be palatable for eating out of hand. 25% will be good for baking, and 50% will be good for fermenting.
This is so odd. Roger just introduced a dude and a sentient clock and left?
Roger just hosted, this show will probably be done again. Hope it does, they were good actors.
Life is odd. Embrace it.
If Roger were honest: I just do these intros to trick my audience into thinking these videos will be of the same high quality as a real Roger Horton video.
What Johnny Appleseed did was a little more complicated than just being a hired gun for homesteaders. In much of the United States (even to this day), you can claim land that you made a significant improvement on if the land is unowned or considered legally abandoned. An orchard counts as a significant improvement, so Appleseed would go to unclaimed frontier lands, plant his orchards, wait the required time (usually 10 years) and then go to court and get the deed for the property. He would then sell the land for a profit.
Appleseed was not the first to do this and he surely not the last (Google "squatter claims" for modern stories on this). But, the crabapple trees were a clever twist.
The actors in this video look like they are just doing this as temp work while they wait for the Joker to escape Arkham Asylum again so they can rejoin his gang.
Johnny Appleseed: The man who impregnated so many apples...or something. I've never actually heard of him.
Them gnarls though
I want more history stuff from cracked. May need to workshop it a little more though. The clocko character is just annoying.
agree, change it up.
More Uncle Roger, less Clock-o and I'm all for it!
Roger giving off Rod Serling vibes.
I got the "Rod Sterling School of Fine Arts" high school diploma! Haha Dude's been a big part of my life since my family were fans and i grew up watching his stuff and grew up in one of the places he claimed as home.
Roger's a Time Lord?
I got Rogerbaited AGAIN
they cant keep getting away with this!!!
Lol
I appreciate learning Eldritch lore about Mr. History and Clocko but it is also fascinating about learning about historical figures thank you
Look, when I was a kid, the first version of the Johnny Appleseed legend came from the wonderful cartoon starring Dennis Day as ... well, pretty much everyone in the short, including the narrator. Took me years to understand there was an actual person called Johnny Appleseed!
🎵The Lord is good to me!
And so I thank the Lord!
For giving me the things I need!
The sun and the rain and the apple seed!
Yes, He's been good to me! 🎵
Spirits, I still know those lyrics!!
This is a drastic improvement from the first episode. I believe you're close to finding your voice. Also, The fewer gimmicks allow you more time dealing with the actual topic at hand.
This is by far my favorite of these.
So are they moving the Honest History show to Cracked instead of the Honest Ads channel? Good idea! I'm subscribed to both already!
These are so great!
Roger The Lord Of Time.
I knew it!
The ferret man, and haunted clock did a great job! Johny did, however, steal the show.
Merry Christmas, B-Crew!
Okay, I actually do enjoy the skits, but part of me, a part that I didn't know I had, a part that kept itself hidden deep down with the killing Hitler fantasies, well, it makes me feel the need to mock you two, not the killing Hitler things, which I now must admit are all far superior to Ferret & Clock time skits.
I wasn't even going to say that, but as stated above, I have to do that.
I mean, c'mon covering Hitler with honey and feeding him to stinging insects is better.
He does resemble a 70s disco ferret
There should have been a commercial for Horton's Hard Cider in there somewhere....
Cracked used to be a really lame mad magazine ripoff and I feel like it holds the same place in my heart today as a youtube channel.
This series is underrated. Trying to make a lot of apple cider sounds my dad's friends from New York who had a microbrewery
Oh no! My education!
MJ dresses like Doug 😂😂
Religion and money. Always the root of every story
Disney... The world's biggest lie machine....
0:30 *SOOO TRUE* THE CROSS BRONX EXP MENTION 🤣
I remember seeing an episode of “Lassie” as a kid where Timmy tries to preserve a tree that was planted by Johnny Appleseed.
I think…. Eventually it was saved and they built a bench around it?
Maybe I’m confusing it with Leave it to Beaver again. Anyway! The point is the exagerations were well baked into history even before Disney. But I definitely remember the Disney version better. And the songs. Oh Lord! The goddamn songs.
Lassie, Season 5:
The Tree
For a club project, Timmy and Boomer adopt a tree that was supposedly planted by Johnny Appleseed, then discover it is sleighted to be cut down to make way for a highway, so Timmy writes a letter to the President of the United States.
The show was better when it was mostly Roger
What show? Honest Ads are over here my Dutch friend
They never talk about his successor, Tommy Analbead, though.
I live where Johnny Apple Seed lived & died at!!! I go to his grave every time the Johnny Apple Seed Fest hits town!! The food and drinks are expensive but worth it!!
1:14 clock joke
i see Cracked made that older video private where i pointed out this missed joke. now they used the joke. good for them.
Thank you
😂
I truly LOVE HONEST ADS
I love you
I thought he was actually barefoot.
Crabapples are delicious. I ate them a lot as a kid when I'd go to the park.
If you eat too many they give you stomach cramps, but are otherwise tasty if you like sour things.
Um.......Happy Holidays everyone?
Hmm why is this video on cracked. Oh maybe it's not a Rog' Hortion program. Must fix that web browser. Loved the video. Thanks.
I miss Rodger telling us this.
I’m over here - and purely in the business of advertising.
Crab apples were the sh@t! Literally
I love this true story ❤😂
Completely forgotten he even existed
Yoooooooo 😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉 this is savage
I've been watching these videos for a few years, but I now have a serious question. Is this dude saying he's Rodger, really Rodger?
I recognize that song
All apple trees were grown from apple seeds, unless you subscribe to spontaneous generation. Yeah they're grafted. Still came from seeds. A long time ago.
Picking up where Adam Conover left off. Thanks Rog.
He's a pot head too!
This did not change my view of Johnny at all.
This was kind of what I already imagined.
Grew up on a dairy farm homestead, with an unused crab apple grove.
Nobody ate from those trees, not even our cows.
Our family also had a homestead that was an apple farm.
All the cousins (about 40 of us, ages 4 to 15) would get together and have rotten apple fights in the grove. We'd split into teams, take a side of the grove, and each tie a flag to the top of the tallest apple tree on our sides.
It was capture the flag war, with the ground apples for ammo (no picking hard apples from the trees). You get hit with an apple, your sent to the other team's jail.
The game ended when someone gets a flag, captures all of the other team, or someone hurt and crying goes to the adults (which was about half the time).
Sounds like a late summertime snowball fight.
CLOCKOOOOO
Did Mr Chapman have any connection to the......um......opening up of the frontier lands in question?
Please Do A Video about The ProJect 2025 Plan
I didn't quite get two things, firstly the whole thing about the plots of land - did he make a deal and plant trees years in advance of people actually settling, and somehow no one else took the land? - and secondly, as a Swede, I have no idea what this Swedenborg thing is about. Not sure if I should be offended or not.
Have eaten apples from trees grown from seed.
Most were tart but a few were great for cooking.
I live by the Bronx express way lol
I still like him. He gave homes for birds and firewood to countless.
Ah fucking amazing !
Prime example of never meeting your heroes
I just watched a screen presentation on my cell screen...
My kindergarten teacher was one of his relatives, so we learned more about him than most kids. Pretty much none of that was news 😆
A great video thank you. But "Do we have a Roomba with a knife?" His name is Stabby and you know it. But I didn't know much about Johnny Appleseed except he grew apples
LORD OF TIME 😂😂😂😂😂
Johnny Appleseed wasn't that stupid he created a tree-planting business.
I have eaten apples straight off a tree....as a kid a neighbor had an acre of them.
I didn't like the pacing, but Roger is still very fun
Roger lord of time
Yeah this article had some errors of its own
Egads! History is lies! Shocking 😂🎉
History is whatever the people telling it want it to be. We have no history.. Just skewed stories from the victors interpreted as history
I clicked off this video as soon as Roger left the screen.
"haha here we are being smug and subversive haha aren't we so cool!"
so i guess we can start complaining about the new-new hosts?
September 26 my birthday, also Johnny Appleseed Day.
HONEST THROAT FLAB
All Hail Roger Hortin, Lord of Time
As usual. Man corrupts everything he touches. Got me side-eyeing my Granny Smiths now 😒🍏
If you've never tried a crab apple don't. So bitter lol
Seed Bae
😂😂😂😂😂
Why this Jhonny in my recommendation?
Well, at least Pecos Bill is real.
👍
I go away for a couple years and come back just to find out cracked is now written and edited by actual crackheads. Wtf was all the random nonsense about?
It's another Cracked spin-off about history using Roger to introduce it.
@@muchtested i understand that. im referring to the random asides, hectic editing, and pee-wee herman style characters.
@@4c3fr3h1y Apparently, insanity and dementia have taken over.
How the mighty have fallen. So unfunny
I can appreciate anyone who promoted alcohol.
Damn, I always knew I was a raccoon.
So...youre a Time Lord?
His Time Lord name is The Roger (he drops the The for our benefit)
Who knew Cuisinart made pots back then? Nice pot but Copper Clad better.
Jokes are you I'm from Jamaica and o'tahiti apples do indeed come from seeds 😎 they also look and taste nothing like American apples they're juicy and delicious
The music in the beginning doesn't really go with the content.
nothing about this video goes well
Comments for the algorithm
great actors, bad repeat setup. obnoxious to listen too. come on producers, stop the embarrassing scene and write something else... i wanted to hear about the topic, but just closed the window after comments. look at the stats after switch scenes from roger, bet they drop.
I see no problem with anything he did.
Thank you so much for breaking open this myth
You should just have Roger do the whole show. The other two are not funny
Sorry, this doesn't change my opinion of him much. The guy planted trees that could make hard apple cider. He wasn't genociding Indians or some crap. Plus, the money that the settlers made from selling their hard apple cider maybe helped at least a few of them not starve to death.
This is super inaccurate