2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer | Ep. 05
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- čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
- It's the dance video that has swept the nation and warmed the hearts of everyone. Everyone except one of the two bears. Tom Segura confronts Bert Kreischer about what he REALLY thought about his dance video and his plans for a rebuttal. Is a "Dance-Off" going down in the cave in the future?? Plus, there was an overwhelming amount of theme song submissions, the Bears listen to a few and decide on what the winner will be. A special bet is in play, Dave Chappelle's special is discussed and a very special animation submission are all inside the cave this week!
yourmomshousepo...
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Watching these 3 years later. I have missed so much.
Im in the same place r n
I've just started on this podcast and completely hooked! Fuckin brilliant. 😎
Me too just started listening to the podcast and watching it
Reading this comment in the same boat but a year after you posted it lol
"Welcome to 2 Bears, 3 K's"
LMFAO
Komedians in Kars getting Koffee? Idk man, it's been done.
Bro you don't understand, this comment fuckin got me
It's wild how they cut these podcasts together to make it seem like Bert isn't ranting about minorities.
Minorities are a problem.
@@andrewcastleberry4921 oh shit 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
And how they edit out all of the 'N' words.
But minorities are the new majority!?!? Where’s the logic? 😘
@facciabella85 😂😂😂
Tom and Bert should get a twin casket and get buried together. 2 Bears 1 Grave
Noah Fuller 😂😂yes the final podcast
That was a solid joke.
And for Halloween they should dress up as ghosts. They could be 2 scares 1 grave.
Underrated comment by far hahaha
Remember when they hit the beach before covid and got knocked on their asses when they hit the water? 2 Bears 1 Wave
To all the people who made the songs and the cartoon, you are rock stars!!
i just want someone to love me they way bert loves himself
El Eafy you are 100% right he absolutely thinks he is the shit
Soooo true!! 90 percent of the time the first words outta his mouth are "I" and "me".
@Natty Fatty Powerlifting I love you
I want someone to love me like Bert hates jews
I mean the guy literally was talking about how he wants 2 hours of videos of things he has done at his funeral to show how great he thinks he is. Even Tom on Rogan’s podcast one time was talking about when they went to the college football game with Ari and he was like Bert kept saying “guys isn’t great being famous”
Seeing the seeds planted for Toms music video makes it even funnier
38:24 Animated Racist Bert the funniest thing ever.
And they're only going to get better as the technology improves.
Jesus Christ this doesn't get old
Oh my God, I was laughing as hard as they were. Brilliant!
Bert beat his single podcast N word drop record with a score of 43 this week.. congrats! Next week shoot for 50!
Tom should do the dance in front of a green screen and have pictures of serial killers in the background
all i want is for garth to do the track he dances to
To "Good bye horses".
@David David Yeah Fruity Pebbles.
He should do the dance of serial killer Buffalo Bill from Silence of Lambs movie...including tucking his junk between his legs
I knew Bert’s pants were coming off, what scared me was when my pants came off. Really didn’t see that coming
I like how bert called at least 2 of the aspects of Toms video. Ponytail check. missy elliot check lol
welp I cant find the Mickey Mantle shirt on the site, I think Bert made a good decision lmao
I want that shirt!
same I was hoping to cop one fast 😂
Went to site to book and, oh none.
God damnit! I just went there to scoop it up.... The 15 they sold are probably on EBAY for $200 now... wtf
Y’all can just recreate the shirt on one of the shirt websites
If Bert wasn’t a comic he’s a shoe in for high school softball coach
No high school would take on that liability..
More like mascot!
@@markmacdonald7955 my school would have.
It’s funny because he was a baseball college athlete
That’s savage! 🤣
I'm currently selling Bert Kreischer t-shirts if anyone's interested.
I'm selling AnonofAnarchy t shirts if youre interested
I'm selling Dang Lin-Wang t-shirts if you both are interested.
I'm selling meth...
Bert kreischer metabolism t-shirts
I'll take 3
I'm so glad they picked the intro they did that one is by far the best
I honestly think this could be the greatest podcast ever and it’s only the fifth episode!
I feel pretty much the same way! If more podcasts were as free and hilarious as this, i'd get nothing done. This and TMP i can recommend, though it's the opposite of free-flowing. Magnificence 👌
Agreed. This and original TMP. I wish Chips, Helmet Face and Sweet tart tartin ass would get back together.
That goes to uncle joey
Agreed bill bert podcast is pretty awesome to
@Kristie C I love it all man tbh
If you ever have doubts that Bert is genuine in his stupidity. Just watch the intro with the Mickey Mantle shirts.. lmfao
or just listen to him talk about how he's super healthy and takes care of himself
arj. I was shocked at how stupid he really is
You can't fake that kind of stupidity. That's part of what makes him funny.
Hahhaaa foreal
It is said that stupid people worry about less in life, so maybe Bert will outlive all his friends.
"ponytail would be good" that aged well
And though not meaning the song choice, he mentioned Missy Elliot as well.
Fatter Brent ends up getting stabbed by Ponytail Tim, classic
This is why I love comedians podcasts... you get to hear even more of a background to a joke you've always loved lol
Couple episodes ago- Bert"I don't think I'm guna see 70", now - "I'm guna outlive everyone and live forever" 🤣
Lewis Woodhead Haha that’s what I was thinking 😂. As long as you “ go to the doctor every 9 months” and live healthy for the one month a year you can “outlive everyone”, even if you’re an over weight alcoholic who has to take heart medication in his forties. 🤣
I just got the luxury mattress from Satva, and it has a Bert-shaped indentation on it
The ONLY mattress company that provides that
You should scrape off some dna and get you some Mickey Mantle genes dude!!😂😂😂
Theres a swastika on it? I'd return in..Bert has a tendency to put it on anything related to him.
How do you even get out of bed?
How big is your bed?....
Bert should just call it the Thiccy Mantle Gene
-12
i started listening to the podcast backwards from the most recent episodes to the older ones so it was pretty cool to see where the intro
song came from
Bert didnt even know Mickey died of liver failure? Oh the irony
I want Tom and Bert to be my 2 gay dads
Its never too late, godspeed
Two and a half bears
Best sitcom ever
Really Gay bro🤦♂️
XymXir but wouldn’t it be low key really hot
The faces that Tom makes when Bert makes those one off comments just make my day
I started watching this bc of the podcast where the video drops... now I’m watching them in order. Knowing what’s coming makes this episode so amazing!!!
Lmao at Bert getting sued by the Mantle family 😂😂
I got a bad feeling G's lawyers got something cooking for the bodies shirt
Is he?
killer song submissions.... good job folks
38:50 coffee shot out of my nose & I choked 😂🤣😭 idk if I can watch this at work anymore
I spit out my drink I was laughing so hard at the animated cut
38:32 and like 40 seconds after hardest I’ve ever laughed at something on the internet
alex holloway same I’m dying
Underrated statement
I started laughing like Bert and couldn't catch my breath. Best moment of this podcast to date.
@miketimpson
I'm here for the racist dad podcast
Screaming
The DENNIS system close to being a dead meme. Digging the name btw!
Separating entirely
extremely funny....everytime.
Whoa dont talk about Tom like that
I’m here because of the implication
If Tom doesn't dress like Garth Brooks for the dance video, I'll be wildly disappointed.
90’s Garth Brooks
@@brianscotton2513 Actually wrote 90's Garth Brooks and changed it incase people weren't familiar with the majesty of two-tone Garth 🔴⚫️
YES!!!! Tom should do a country line dance instead of hip hop mocking Garth and Bert simultaneously.
If he dresses like him and does Old Town Road LMAO
I think his choice was much better 😂
Lol. “I go to the doctor every nine months.”
Bert, you can go to the mechanic every nine months, but if your car’s a real piece of shit, you’re still in trouble.
Love you guys.
That edit had me crying
**the bear one is even funnier!!
Why the f is Bert wearing two smart watches? 😂🤷♂️
S R Good catch.
Gotta keep an eye on that athletes heart rate
Isn't only one a smart watch?
What the h
So he doesn't think that he forgot to wear a watch when he picks the wrong arm to see the time.
This podcast makes me take the long way home from work!🤘
I've watched that animation about 50 times and I cry laugh every time. Mike Timpson is my fucking hero.
Omg me to I can't stop watching it "I'm a ligit natzi" hahahahhahahahahahaha
I could just watch Bert and Tom doing commercials all day and still love it!
Just skip to @5:10 to skip the ads.
the best thing about this show is the guy(s)? in the back absolutely losing it laughing
"Whats your doctors name?"
"I cant say it."
"Cause its a her?"
😂🤣
Highly disappointed in the server not bringing in treats. Where is the outrage?
Forreal, she was a gem.
Ikr!! Where the is shelby with the "yum yum fat time" treats!
Her name is or was Hanna. Apparently she hasn't been outside for awhile.
They should undo Hannah’s cuffs and let her serve drinks/treats for the podcast..that’s messed up man.😂😂
I’m sure their wives put an end to that lmao
HAHAH Bert thinks he can peel that gut off in a month! And get fit and ripped. THAT is what is gonna kill him.
Well with roids maybe. But I think the roids will kill him
Cocaine will knock that weight off in noooo time
@@rickkroening5282 cocaine + grease + over 45 = heart attack imminent
He may be able to. But what will kill him is his fat around his organs. The visceral fat.
@@rickkroening5282 Didn't help Joey.
The 1st, 2nd and last song are game changers
Intro choice was fantastic
By far my favorite show on CZcams... My two favorite comedians killing it, i cant get enough
This and Something’s Burning
38:30 Animated bears made me crying 😂😂
Great intro.
This is definitely their best one I could watch this on repeat forever
One of my favorite podcasts right now! 🔥
2 bears 1 cave animated needs to happen, watched this clip like 20 times cant stop laughing.
Bodyshots world tour !!!
Tom and Bert are amazing together, favorite podcast ever.
I was REALLY hoping that second one (the acoustic guitar), would become the intro. By far, it's the best.
Tom is actually so good at dancing that he needs BACKUP DANCERS. please hire backup dancers tom!!!!
Seeing Joe Rogan hip hop dancing would've ruined the lives of an entire generation
Unfortunately he got what he wanted and we will watch hill sprints and running instead XD
All that elk meat and Dmt evreywhere.
Fuck Joe Rogan is such a big douche he makes Trump look like Gandhi, at least you kno where you stand with Trump. Joe just feels inviting to sell his podcast, HUGE douche! Fuk Joe.... get over yourself and step out and dance you stuck up piece of shit! Joe stole that away from us I'm getting tired of his monotone voice anyway!
@@RBRTSWORLD Fuk no I won't!
Misunderstood78ca damn, imagine your life being so pathetic that you talk shit about a successful person who will never even know your name.. get a life dude and stop being such a hating bitch
Congrats to Kreg and Kali!!! Dope Intro!!!
“He died of liver cancer?” 😂 that’s that Mickey Mantle gene at work
Mickey Mantle Jr died of liver cancer!?
Berts Reaction: 😱
Yeah, there goes the Mickey Mantle gene theory. You could see the fear in his eyes LOL
@@dave3006 it proves it true....bert for sure getting liver cancer
This is the shiftiest review
This is my favourite podcast - anyone agree?
17:21 ponytail idea
27:06 theme song
32:11 theme song
38:30 Animation ❤😂
That bear animation had me laughing so hard! We NEED more of them.
Sober October track meet. Each person picks 2 events and you have a track meet end of month
I love how whoever pulled up his dancing video on Twitter doesn’t follow Bert!!! 😂🤣😂
Taylor Marks cause they’re not logged into an account
I envy Bert's happiness but I could never be happy the way he is happy!!
Glad to see u here, im playin em all again...such the comfort pod by far
The one they picked kind of reminds me of Crisp Delilahs "Combobulations" podcast intro.
I think this might be my fav. podcast. That animation had me dying laughing.
"My wife's family is definitely white" will for sure be a sound bit next episode.
That 3rd HONORARY MENTION IS GOLD
Berts face when tom said " mickey mantle died of liver cancer"... Lmfao rofl....
BallZzD33p Hahahaha I think he just saw his future
the real gene
Why cant they start making these more frequently its like bi-weekly.
Every podcast is weekly, i like the every other week. Its a treat. Berts all about treats
Try it out
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say they prob have other things going on in their lives (families, shows/tours, travel, other podcasts, etc etc etc) where they can’t consistently film together every week. 🤷🏼♂️ be happy that we’re lucky enough to get bi-weekly 😁
Once a week would be pretty awesome, but I think the content would become scarce.
Bert's too busy setting up Klan and neo nazi meetings!
Bert: what can we beat Gronk in?
Tom: umm...reading!
😂😂😂😂😂
OK LOVE THE INTRO JAM
Bert smiles whenever he hears himself lol
Finally someone called it out 43:05 Mickey Mantle attributed alcohol abuse to shortening his career. Love Bert but I doubt he could explain what he means by the MMG.
"My last four or five years with the Yankees, I didn't realize I was ruining myself with all the drinking. I just thought, This is fun. Hell, I used to see guys come into Yankee Stadium from Detroit or Chicago; they'd be out taking batting practice, all of them with hangovers. But today I can admit that all the drinking shortened my career. When I retired in the spring of '69, I was 37. Casey had said when I came up, "This guy's going to be better than Joe DiMaggio and Babe Ruth." It didn't happen. I never fulfilled what my dad had wanted, and I should have. God gave me a great body to play with, and I didn't take care of it. And I blame a lot of it on alcohol."
You probably prevented a mass shooting by releasing the episode on labor day. Thanks
I 100 percent FELT 21:50 . "How much do I need to throw at this to take it farther than either of us initially intended"
That animated supercut was glorious. I laughed so hard I almost literally started crying. 🤣🤣🤣
You HAVE to have the ponytail, T-Bunz. Just do it. All it'll take is four strokes. Try it out. Take it eass.
Deadass
@@Derek_Keenan we up outta here
oohtbaby soowoo
@@abbgfdhkkhfvn5497 9 inches pruuusss
@@jasonyount8888 asssshole
Who the hell is up in the soundbooth? It's one of my favorite things about the podcast😂 really adds to the atmosphere
That racist animation was my favorite thing ever...ive watched it 3 times and still cry from laughter 😂😂
"Mickey Mantle died of liver cancer?" AHAHHAh uhh ohh the look in his eyes hahahahahaha
If Bart was smart he would make Mickey Mantle "Jeans".
No because that's still copyright infringement. The Jean's part isn't the problematic part
@@hugoj1129 well what if he keeps them high and tight?
You misspelt his name, it’s not Bart it’s blurt
@@Hatingmeisconforming you make a good point.
Problen is anything with "Mickey Mantle" in it. Adding a word at end or beginning makes no difference. Otherwise, every major brand would have 1000s of other companies trying to profit off their name..."Nike Air Jordans by Joe Schmoe", "Campbell's Soup II"
The animated one by Mike amazing dude, absolutely hilarious.
So I only just got onto two bears one cave. I've gone back to epi #1 and are flying through them all
The toons had me cry laughing, and perfect outro song. Good show!
Omg the cuts
Tom “just so you know I’m meeting with a Choreographer on Saturday” Segura
You commented on the wrong podcast.
Uh, no he didn't.
IrishAndroid is this ThePowerfulJRE?
Your Huckleberry oh that’s cute. You think it’s only on jre
Your Huckleberry this is just an ambitious crossover.
I love the songs people created!!! My pick is the first one you gave 4.5 stars too. I like the beat :)
I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. That animated bear section absolutely killed me.
Tiger belly, two bears one cave, somethings burning all in the same day?
Is the world ending?
Is fighter and the kid, Rogan and the king and the sting gonna load today also?
Congratulations too.
huge thanks for the upload of this today I nearly banged my cat
Super Deluxo Kid i haven’t listened to them in a long time, for no particular reason, but I know a lot of ppl listen to them
This is my new favourite podcast. Feels like it took too long to get this going considering Bert is running on borrowed time.
Love the Theme songs that were picked!!! 👍👍 so catchy, now I will go to work singing them haha.
I love the dude who is always dying of laughter in the background
Bert is the worst salesman, tell you to go to his website to order a mantle T-shirt, then follows with the direct website to make your own.😂😂
Holy shit lmfao.
While quite literally stopping the presses on his
Yea i dont understand the merch shit.. everything can be made on your own for less than $5 if you own a printer lol..
I want one of those illegal shirts lol
Congrats Craig and Cali!❤️
Greg’s intro was amaze