The Most BS Martial Artists Ever - Fake Kung Fu, Fake Chi, Fake Karate Breakdown
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- čas přidán 18. 06. 2024
- Every time I look online, I see more of these hilarious techniques. I hope they're from last century. In this age of internet, you have no excuse to fall for this type of BS. In any case, I hope you enjoy my sense of humor. I know that I have an annoying laugh ;) Either way, human imagination is amazing, so learn to separate fact from fiction. Let me know in the comments what was your favorite!
Timecodes
0:00 Russian Choriok
0:41 Russian moshpit boxing?
1:18 Fake chi master
2:06 Russian Choriok returns
2:37 Fake master caught on live television
3:01 Dragon Ball Z move
3:13 YMCA mcdojo
3:50 Soundwave dim mak fail
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To see us examine the first master's techniques: czcams.com/video/iKvk1Kxjnjc/video.html
Thank you all for your hilarious comments! Glad you were entertained by this comedic critique ;) Also, thank you so much for letting me know that YMCA means Young Man's Christian Association ;)
Shoutout viewer Markus Puschert for saying it's: not tiger. actually it´s "taiga" ^^
That vietnamese guy that we were roasting was actually covered by McDojoLife in 2023: czcams.com/video/KfVP1UMgogE/video.html
To see more hilarious videos critiquing funny techniques, please go here: czcams.com/play/PLtdbPxlsaM_mrpN75fQtCa3lUO5DM4Py5.html
Or here: czcams.com/video/NlVj_s7H4FE/video.html
This is so fucking annoying make me cringe and want to kill my self. WTF is this. 😒😕😫😫😫😫😫😦 So shit
and that fucking Chi power shit. Good Lord it's stupid. Good luck in a real fight.
Fight Commentary Breakdowns YMCA- Young Mans Christian Association, otherwise known as not the place to learn martial arts. Heck one of the biggest things I teach on practicing kata, when we do kata, is everyone goes at the same pace and everyone stays together. Not really sure why they all looked like that sweat suit cult with black belts either.
make a video about indonesian silat please. some of em including me can throw a person 2meters away without touching em
People buy black belts and explain that they will knock out the yoga instructor if he tries to make it an issue.
"Empty your mind, be formless, be shapeless, like vodka. Put vodka into cup, becomes cup..... be vodka my friend." ~Bruce Leebrewski.
best comment i've seen in a long time haha good one
h8tingit I think they're showing the wrong Russian dubbing of that part😂😂
I read it in a russian accent.
You put vodka on fire it becomes the smoke like the fire
Jawie Ceniza I read it in Ukraine accent you mad ?
"How do they all have black belts"? Easy:
Yellow belt is for signing up
Green belt is for showing up
Blue belt is for staying for a whole session
...and black belt is when your cheque has cleared.
HAHAHAH ;)
Well put
Gilmaris
Cynical.....but true.😂😂😂😂
It all fun okay. But do you know that not every black belt (in all systems) means it is a master degree?
I'd look at it more from the free pizza or free sandwich promotion standpoint. After you've paid X amount of dollars you get a free colored belt. The color of the free belt depends on how much $ you've paid. When you reach black belt $ you actually get a second belt free. Just pay separate shipping.
You know what I want to see? Two masters of two different "no-touch" martial arts go up against each other.
The universe would implode.
Esso when I got my 100th degree black belt in chi I had to fight another chi master but the two energy’s acting against one another cancels it out so we stood there for 9 minutes nothing happened
you know what, they just stare each other doing nothing, they let the chi fought by them self
Hahahahahahahaah
That would be too dangerous. I would not recommend. lol
That last guy had chi....cheeseburger that is
Chi.... with CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hahahahaha chi chi cheeeezee burgers
Become with the cheeseburger
How about the Chinese chub in the blue shirt, Master Hu Ait Mai Kake.
Check this one czcams.com/video/Sq22Hkx2LTo/video.html
The most intriguing part is people actually pay to learn these.
Probably good exercise, but useless in a real fight. These so-called "masters" are as phony as psychics and televangelists.
@@1968usaf I highly doubt these people are even getting solid workouts in
Yeah, and they, when they, drunk on their own power, get in a real fight, they get their ass kicked.
Sham artists
I would go just for a laugh.
He is not fat, he is full of chi.
Daniel Sancoy don't you mean tight cheese!
U mean he is full of CHIT
As someone said he could be called Chuck Porridge
Full of chi-tos
Frank casTLE carefull...he might eat you
If I were to get into a fight with one of these guys I would break down in hysterical laughter...So I guess these fighting techniques are effective. 😂😂😂😂
Ye they try to kill you using laughter.
The snake mantis is a great technique against children and wheelchair bound midgets.
That reporter didn't accidentally reveal anything. He was trying to expose the BS and succeeded. And I am here for all of it!
Grand Master Smirnoff
Now I want to make a CZcams video just so I can use this as a name of a character in the show.
Don’t forget to give me s shout out lol
Smirnoff is a bullshit european vodka
Stolichnaya Cup
You guys are killn me 😂😂😂😂
That last dude didn’t even have karate pants on he had adidas Pants on😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Its 2020 and this showed up on my feed. Way to start the new year with a LOL.
Nowadays you can get a black belt through a vending machine
I buy mine at Walmart
Hahahahaha @Clubber Lang
anywhere online man, 50 bucks well made, brand new, custom stitched name with legit counterfeit photo ID too
I got mine at Goodwill
Yes, this is true for a lot of bullshit arts like Taekwondo, etc. I train in traditional kung fu and we base our training only on self defense. Our black belts tests are something you need to prepare physically for. 4 hours of intense workout, them without a break, while you're dehydrated and fatigued you show all your techniques and must make them work or you get beat as if it was you getting jumped. That is how you should earn a black belt!
Crouching tiger shiting dragon
shiTTing*
Виктор Верхейден lmao
Crappy tiger, shitty dragon.
Shitty tiger diarrhoea dragon
Crunchy Tiger Crispy Dragon
4:05 is because she threw him an invisible hamburger
They communicate on another level ... He take a nap after invisible hamburger.
3:04 I can actually vouch for this one. This looks like goju ryu karate, which relies on strong, grounded stances and quick, powerful strikes to the upper body and head. This kata is pretty much a stance and breathing exercise.
Thanks Steven-sensei
Lol
Pssh phonies, my local sensei at Yoga class told me he wasn't allowed to enter the UFC because he was too deadly.
SEE YAI AYE you should have punched his for saying that.
"sensei at yoga class"...?????? What on earth are you learning bro...
And when did yoga become a martial art..???
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The joke
Your head
Lol someone didn't understand the sarcasm
Cheli Lombi
Yoga was derived from a martial art "Kalaripayatu"
It's just a stretching routine, they also used to use natural oils and medicine.
When you suck at something and your friends and family Keep telling you that you are the best they have seen. This is what happens.
Yep :)
They're supposed to be the ones that can call on doing stupid.
Or you end up on America's got talent.
Or other got talent shows.
Do not watch the glass, or you will miss all the heavenly Smirnoff.
What makes this great. Is your narration. You're really funny...😆
The reason the guy fell down in the last clip is because the girl shouted ' I'm gonna tell my dad what you did !
You baaad 😁
I've met this guy before, you're not far off 😬
@@justinj3340 holy shit please continue. What was he like?
Lmfao
She well enjoyed slapping his neck, he felt that second one too. His face was like bruh
The reporter broke the block in half.. as soon as that happend I knew.. that the reporter was also a kungfoo master..
78
Easily one of my top 10 favorite videos of all time. These are amazing, do any of them have a promo with the local scientology chapter?
I like your commentary 🤣🤣. And here I have read some of the best comments ever. It made my day. Thank you creative people.
Loved the last clip Sensai McDonalds ! Outta breath from talking
"not from any chi but cus hes fat"
😭😭😭😭😭😭
His assistant Samantha is cute tho
Some of these are pretty wack! However, when I see the group classes working out so poorly, I feel sad for the students because I'm sure most of them have the desire and ability to learn legitimate martial arts.
Yep. They just need good teachers. When I did Kung Fu, I felt so frustrated because I could tell the instruction sucked. Wish I discovered MMA as a teen. I would've been much healthier in the mind.
it really is sad when the bs artists target young audiences. it just harms them.
And now you understand how some really trained guy can just come up and fight the whole dojo just like in the bruce lee movies.
Hell even I could go up there and kick half of the peoples but inculding the master.
The group class at about 3:25 are doing a set pattern in taekwondo. It's an advanced pattern but it's completely legit. Their master must have wanted everyone to learn it although it's for the higher belts. Just because you don't see what they're doing doesn't mean they're fucking around
Would be funny to see an actual fighter to find one of these "masters" and humiliate them in front of their whole class.
Edit: nevermind. Just found videos of it. Lmao.
This is so funny I was trying to paint a straight line on some trim after watching this and couldn't. You guys are great !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YMCA: Young Men Christian Association
I think it's Young Men's Club of America
4:09 when someone with bad breath talks to you
Literally all of us have bad breath after eating.
Unless you eat nothing but plants. 😂
Mig 28 take some mints bro they work
@@wastedpotential6650 Sorry, I don't know what to say. I'm not used to replying to comments that don't add to or refute the previous comments.
I guess I should reply with a meme?
Mig 28 maybe I have no clue 😂
@@wastedpotential6650 😂
One day that girl's going to have a real attacker and the invisible chi ball she throws will have no effect and can't believe it didn't work
Patrick Chavez Just carry a tazer gun or 🔫.
So true
don't be so sure, the attacker might laugh himself to death!
Dude...LOL. This is the funniest commentary I've heard in a long time. Keep 'em comin'...LOL
you're commentary is very funny. subscribed
Hey Crouching Comrade Hidden Vodka is the deadliest of Kung Fu
in the early 90s I went to a local dojo because they offered some exotic styles and I was interested in learning mantis style kung fu. At the time I already had several years of training in both Tae Kwon Do and Isshin Ryu Karate under my belt (forgive the pun), but I didn't mention that to them. I asked if I could observe one of their courses and they were kind enough to allow me to watch one of their "advanced" classes. Even though I was not familiar with the style were training it was painfully obvious that not one person there knew what the hell they were doing. After the class when they tried to get me to sign up I flatly told them that I wouldn't even consider giving them my money and they threatened to call the police on me. lol
On the grounds of saying uncomfortable things? You should have challenged the guy in charge, it would have been such a laugh.
I can only agree with Titantron here. A threat like that would ask for a challenge. And for the sake of your Community - expose them.
I laughed so hard at this comment lol. You were witnessing a cult, my friend. Thank God you made it out alive.
I have met a number of martial.art schools like this, before the class is done I challenge the teacher if I think it's total bs I have had teachers threaten to call the cops on me cause of my challenges but most of them have challenged me to see how good I am I don't tell them what I have done in the past and its always great to see the students beg you to teach them instead of there teacher 😂😂😂
I call bullshit on that.
you are the BEST I have been in martial art for 20 yrs, I have seen these Magical Moments so often,and unlike you , I bit my lip and walked away, You say what I have always wanted too. THANK YOU,
Bro that wasn't Singaporean 😂😂. I'm insulted
Singapore dont do that shit hha
Vodka-Fu
I hundred yh
*vod fu
in soviet russia vodka drinks you
Slav maga
fake fu
That first guy reminds me of Arthur Fleck dancing in Joker.
Andy Appleton. Hahahahaha right on!
@Patrice Bateman He's obviously highly skilled. I heard he once killed an opponent through a Zoom match over the phone.
This is so funny I can't stop laughing great commentary
YMCA = young men's christian association
Fist of Jesus
Christianity?? How does that have to do with this
It's fun to stay at the young men's christian association.
@@franco_spams-l2922 - It was founded on 6 June 1844 by Sir George Williams in London, originally as the Young Men's Christian Association and aims to put Christian principles into practice by developing a healthy "body, mind, and spirit"
@@franco_spams-l2922 the guy doing the commentary, actually asks what YMCA stands for.
The first guy's pop and lock skills are 100!!!!!
Jay Tea-IKR I thought he was doing a Michael Jackson impression. XD
I rofled
Thought he was having a spasm
All that was missing was the boom box and cardboard.
Jay Tea pop lock hahaha
The people that dislike this video practice these styles.
Actually, I think that there are some people out there that think that by giving a down vote to a video, they sanction the clowns that video tries to make fun of, as opposed to the video. So, actually they like the video but are just a little confused.
bboy1481 ...i do kung fu...i can kick your ass am pretty sure of that and i didn't deslike the vid cuz these pple know nothing about the art they supposed to be doing
bboy1481 eyyyy bboy
Actually, I think that there are some people who are angry that he called the fake Vietnamese martial art singaporean
@amine HITMAN. Please return when you have a better bizarro language to English translation app
4:04
Wow. That is scary stuff
He had a heart attack when she started her form
Fake and he's a black belt ?
I would collapse right into her bed
You guys are so funny.
Make more videos.
You make my day
Watching this in 2019, still funny
Thanks!
@@FightCommentary I can't believe you answer comments 2 years later! Good youtuber there!
The mantis hands guy didn’t get his kicks above the knee. Which leads me to believe he will be fighting children which is probably a good match for him.
Knight of the white Cameleon yesss my fav
Wait, are you saying he can take on a child?
I love how your actually reacting to this🤣
Your commentary is absolutely fantastic and hysterical! The vodka guy is hilarious, I’m sure he’s absolutely dangerous, not! My five year old grandson could nail anyone of them!
So I wasted 20 years of my life practicing the Vodka Tiger? Thanks..
"Vodka Tiger" sounds like an awesome drink.
The Russian guy looks like he’s dancing techno
Only in DUNE can they project their voice and kill like that :) Mua-Dibe
Dude I laughed till I got tears in my eyes your so fucking funny especially when the chi master transferred chi I was dying
that first guy is great I really like him. theres one video of him sparring with his dog, its awesome.
Damn bruh , haven't laughed this hard in a while!! ,good stuff💯
Bear in mind, the one at 3.23 isn't fake because it's in a multipurpose room or that everyone's working in their own time.
Oftentimes it's easier to just book a place regularly then buy, own and maintain your own building just for weekly classes.
Also
Kata's aren't group synchronized dancing. They're individual sequences of routines.
That's the sign people actually know what they're doing there, when they're working in their own time to get it as right as they can.
The idea that a martial arts class has to look good to be valid is dangerous, because often the best looking ones are not effective.
I agree. In fact, it looks like this is Kushanku that they're performing.
I just discovered this channel. Where have you been all my life?
Glad you found me 😝 if you ever see funny clips, please send them my way 😝😝
1:38 that's something Peter Griffin would do 😅😅😅
When you walk up to a chick in the club and wanna impress her with the moves 0:03-0:10 💀💀
3:14 it is supposed an I repeat "supposed" to be the kata "Kanku-Dai" but it is been executed so poorly than only white belts trying to imitate higher ranks would do it that way (maybe not even them); and these are supposed to be the higher ranks... my goodness
Good content, keep it up 👍
Had my guts out laughing. Great work man. Great commentary. Looking forward to more videos but requesting the commentary should keep this style.
3:30 i guess its the YMCA-McDojo!
LOL
This makes me want to go challenge dojos to take the signs like how they do an animes. I have zero fighting experience but watching these now gives me hope.
The reporter is actually a martial arts master
4:09 he should join Hollywood. wasted talent.
His gut almost tips him over, so he's leaning back to counter the gravitational pull of the lard sack 😂
No Chi can handle that fat-ass gut 😐
I would like to point out drunken fist is a real martial arts style, but these guys are just drunk.... As a real Kyoushin practitioner I found these halarious. Thanks for the laughs.
Dragonk116 It's martial arts, not marshal arts. They're not ushering people through a music festival.
Drunken Fist is extremely effective no joke
Dragoner Productions you should practice a dictionary more then karate. BTW it's kyokushin.
Yah. we know that and he mentioned that.
Practitioner my asss
This video is great!! He said I guess if you were fighting a kid it would work lol
I have found that most people who claim to know martial arts know nothing.
My dad best up a white guy who said he was a 3rd degree black belt at a gas station . He didnt know my dad was golden gloves in the marines in 71 . Funniest thing ever
I rem I used to do Tong Long and the shifu hit me lightly with his knuckle close up to demonstrate something and fuck me it's the hardest I have ever been hit....I'm very wary of other people teaching....I should prob go back there lol...seems like the real deal.
4:00 the girl is dragonborn.
Great actors...they won an Oscar already
You are one funny dude (both the narrator and all the people in the video)
Your commentary has me laughing out loud bro
*Jackie Chan has left the chat*
Hopeless🤣🤣
Steven Seagal has entered the chat
This guy so funny commentating 😂
I needed a good laugh today... 😂
The last master in this video missed a couple of letters. That wasn't "chi" in his stomach, that was chili.
Some of these, like at 3:07 are just students doing kata. Kata actually does have it's uses and value in martial arts. Not to say you are going to use an exact full kata to defend yourself but moves from kata can be used in a real situation and kata is a good way to practise balance, perfect cerain techniques at a slow speed first and then be able to speed up the technique during actual self defense, strengthen the body and master controlled breathing (which is helpful to manage fear, nervousness and enable better stamina). By the way, this is coming from someone who does think there is a lot of traditional rubbish littering some martial arts that do not work and just look flashy.
Kata does not teach you self defence unless it has been shown to you on how it can be applied to be used for self-defence take it from someone who has what I like to call a useless black belt from my years at Taekwondo I learnt it for 5yrs and got my black belt and I WOULD NOT use what I learnt in Taekwondo in a fight I wouldn't dare use any of the kata or forms the only time I use taekwondo is when my opponent is almost finished and I want to end the fight usually with a spinning kick straight to the head or an axe kick to the collar bone if you want your kata to work.in a real life situation then you have to train for it and use your kata in simulated situations
Yeah. I'm actually a 2nd Degree Zenshin Ki-Do Karateka of over 20 years. That kata was kushunku/kanku dai
@@bluehornet197 in karate, with most of your Kata's you have to perform for grading, you also have to perform bunkai of which(I assume you already know but) is a breakdown of the Kaya against an opponent. On topic: although you state you would never use taikwondo in a real fight, you will subconciesly be using many of its mentalities and teachings such as moving to the side to block an technique.
Im from Russia... it is a facepalm
Im from Russia too. Systema and other wannabe Russian martial arts are giving us a bad name, in the martial arts world. We should go round them all up, and execute them.
@@biggjuicy1982 i use to practice Kyokushin i dont think systema is that Bad it was designed for the military.
@@saleemsuliman3062 Systema that is taught by all of these guys on the internet, and the stuff that you see on youtube is not real Systema. It was made up. The crap that looks like bad Tai Chi. Aikido, no touch Chi strikes, slap boxing, and training without sparring, or grappling, and all that, is not real Russian martial arts. Systema was not created for military. Arminski Rukopashnii Boi was created for the Russian Military. ROSS is the Russian Military combat conditioning program. Spetznaz train combat sambo, and ARB. Not Systema. Systema is garbage. Pretty much all of those dudes are frauds.
@@saleemsuliman3062 Kyokushin is better than systema
@@biggjuicy1982 sambo is good its legit.
The first guy was just pop locking 😂
This Martial Farts is really amazing. It almost killed me. The chi passed through my monitor
I like your commentary style.
Do more videos like this.
The first guy, master Jingly Jangly, can seizure his way to any victory.
The second guy looks like a monty python sketch.
Third is an average day in the Motherland!
Fourth guy is kim- Jong- Un's Chinese cousin, Kim- jong- pass the cheese.
Then it looks like we are back to the first guy, master Jingly Jangly molesting a box.
Fifth guy is like Jesus, only instead of turning water into wine he turns cement slabs into polystyrene.
Sixth guy teaching people how to carefully close two draws at once with sass.
Seventh guy looks like he is teaching people how to dance like Napoleon Dynamite.
Final guy... you ever seen a parent trying to get a child to do something and they pretend to fall asleep and make their body go limp, this guy's that type of child.
ImaginationDan - idk why but the Monty Python line made me laugh way to hard haha had me crying...
I still watch this dude TILL THIS DAY!!
TILL THIS DAY!!!!!
4:06
When you haven't brushed your teeth for 5 years...
THIS SHOULD BE A TV SHOW WHO AGREES😂
the last guy was tired just by talking and the way he got up lmao
These styles are all called “karate”, because they don’t work
I just wonder why back in the day no one called these people out.
The art doesn’t matter as long as their is frequent sparring
That Asian Guy Better be In Avengers 4.
OfficialMeinGoobby he is Wong
Asian 💖💖💖
The first guy was just demonstrating all the new soulja boy dance moves. It's called kungfuooul!!! When you krank that
😂
And the sad part is some of these black belts will be awarded 5th Dan or Master level after twenty years of study and will get destroyed by an MMA guy who's only been training for six months...
This is hilarious. Why doesn't it have way more viewers
Where's Steven seagal?
mralex070 he's fake
mralex070 woooow he teached anderson silva how to front kick? Dayum if he doesnt know how to front kick wtf he had done in UFC (besides he was a legend). Seagel is a mastermind in bullshit he got sucess with his bullshido in hollywood. Thats the obly thing admirable with that man how he tricked so many dumb people
mralex070 whatever
mralex070 Aikido itself is mostly a crock of shit.
Just ask john Claude van damn he knows 😹 we all know it's bull I didn't think it was a secret 😹
HAHA HAHA HAHA when I'm feeling down I will watch these grandmaster acts! Priceless!
If not for martial arts, I would learn some of these for dance moves.....you would own the dance floor🤣🤣
THANKS I NEEDED THIS LOL
That ‘YMCA Dojo’ was actually doing a Kata for karate, specifically kata called Kushanku. The kata is unique to the wado ryu style of karate, it’s a combination of all previous katas of the style. I know this because I actually practice and teach this style. But the technique for all of the students is sloppy and the timing is way off. I can get 10 year olds to better synch up to these people
idk which of the ones in the video do you mean but everything there are all BS as fk
Meepomeepo the one at 3:15.
I think he is right, but tbh I don't know shit.
Well, by my opinion at this point of desync and flaws in technique, they can do any kind of kata and it will look same....
5.56 - kata is useful as it allows the student to practice proper technique and form of a strike or block. Sure, you probably won’t use the exact form from a kata in a sparring match but in modern times, katas are more for demonstration of the specific martial art or style the kata is from
5.56 - Training kata is pretty fun, it is also incredibly useful. It allows you to perfect your technique in a non-sparring environment and helps you to get into an "empty mind" which is pretty essential to be a great fighter.
Of course, you need to spar too, but just sparring can easily lead to sub-par technique.
The cringe is strong with this one
That’s five minutes I will never get back.
4:25 slap on the neck is so funny. You know that hurt 😂😂😂