How Our Childhood Shapes Every Aspect of Our Health with Dr. Gabor Maté | FBLM Podcast
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- čas přidán 20. 11. 2018
- This week, I talk to renowned addiction expert, physician and best-selling author, Dr. Gabor Maté. He calls for a compassionate approach toward addiction, whether in ourselves or in others. Dr Maté believes addiction is not a choice, neither is it all about drugs and illicit substances. Instead, he believes that addiction affects most of us - whether it be to alcohol, nicotine, sugar, work or exercise…the list is endless. According to Dr Maté, the source of addiction is not to be found in our genes but in our early childhood.
We also talk about how our emotional stress translates into physical chronic illnesses and how we now live in a culture that doesn’t meet our human needs. Indeed, the conditions necessary for healthy child development are increasingly under threat in today’s society. Loneliness and lack of meaningful connection are on the rise, as are the rates of autoimmune disease and addiction. We discuss how the way we live our modern lives is impacting us more than we realise.
It was a real honour to sit down and talk eye-to-eye with Gabor about his truly revolutionary work. This was a deep and powerful conversation and I hope it helps you in your lives.
Show notes available at: drchatterjee.com/gabor
Find out more about Gabor:
Website - drgabormate.com/
Facebook - / drgabormate
You Tube - @drgabormate9132
Twitter - / drgabormate
Gabor's books:
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts US amzn.to/48E4VgS UK amzn.to/2zlLbR5
Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder US amzn.to/3RUeKjN UK amzn.to/2PvKYou
When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress US amzn.to/3vvgSHz UK amzn.to/2zdWc6B
Hold on to Your Kids - Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers US amzn.to/3TPnieA UK amzn.to/2QUCAeK
#feelbetterlivemore #gabormate #addiction
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Order Dr Chatterjee’s book The Stress Solution amzn.to/2MZ8u8h
Find Dr Chatterjee’s 4 Pillars of Health in The 4 Pillar Plan available via amzn.to/2yGfpuB
The US version, How to Make Disease Disappear is available via amzn.to/2Gj1YEL
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DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. - Věda a technologie
I survived a very traumatic childhood and then an abusive 15 year marriage. I have had many chronic health issues my entire life, including 2 strokes, Chronic Myeloid Leukemia, Lupus etc. About a year out of my toxic marriage, I saw my chronic health issues start to get better! It has been miraculous watching my body heal itself after I finally escaped all the chaos in my life and began working on myself. I’ve never felt better!!
I always say, Stress KILLS.
Happy for you - keep going
@@PJMcInerney thank you!!!
On a similar journey thank you for the inspiration
Damn. I wish you get better so much. It is so infair. You deserve to get better.
Brilliant interview. I've done a lot of reading on the effects of emotional trauma on physical health, and this has 100% confirmed for me that it was the emotional healing/release work I've done over the last year, and getting to a point I fully accept and love myself, that has completely healed my supposedly incurable autoimmune disease.
I'm a woman on a mission!!
I forgot to mention that I have Suffered Extreme Childhood Trauma Since The Day I Came Into This Amazing World & Probably Even Further Back Than That! I have Only Just Discovered This Amazing Into & I Know The Good Lord Above Led Me Right To It! 🙏❤️
Great, I am so happy, keep spreading this very needed "real knowledge"
Great work!!!! You inspire me.
I'm on the same journey with an autoimmune+ neurological disorder. I am improving but have the goal of healing myself completely. Namaste
Good luck
Thank you so much for talking about parenting. I grew up in a dysfunctional family... So i carry a lot of pain and trauma. When my daughter was born, I couldn't bear to let her cry. Her cries cut my soul... I held her a lot, she slept with me every night and day time nap. I nursed her to sleep, and i was always there besides her guarding her sleep. She would check with her hands if i was still by her side... If i was there, she would continue sleeping, if i wasn't, she would wake up and look for me, so i stayed besides her to let her sleep longer. A lot of people accused me of bad parenting... Telling me that i should make my child sleep in her own bed and let her learn to self soothe by letting her cry for hours.... They said it will be easier for me in the long run. They said that i was overcompensating my own trauma and hurting my child this way. But after listening to you, i am glad that i stuck to what i felt instinctively. My daughter has been with me pretty much 24/7 for full first 4 and a half years of her life. She has been sleeping besides me all these 4 years and some. At age 5 she started to sleep in her own bed by her own choice, one day she just decided that she is big girl and announced she wants to sleep in her own bed. Now she is 6, now she wants her own room. Now looking at her, i dont understand why a baby or a toddler should be taught to sleep in their own bed, in their own room when they are obviously not ready for that independence.... especially if a child will come to that eventually on their own when they are ready, without tears, without stress and without brute force from parents. I still dont know if i have done the right thing, only time will tell, but your talk is making me feel more confident in what my instincts are telling me. 6 years have passed so quick, and my daughter has been just wonderful, low stress child, rarely ever cries, has NEVER thrown a tantrum, she is active and curious. She tests our limits of course and that is normal part of development, but i wouldn't class that as being problematic. In pre school according to her teachers she is very easy going, friends with everyone, no trouble at all.
well done! the reassurance, love and dedication you gave your daughter when she was tiny and vulnerable will be repaid fully when she grows into a well balanced and confident adult.
Beautiful! I have a grandson, now 5, who was born with a severe heart defect, GERD, and gastroparesis. He was on a feeding tube for 4 years, and due to his GERD, we were required to sleep with him in an upright position. He still sleeps with mommy and daddy, feeding tube has been removed due to a strict diet. He is slowly transitioning to sleeping in his own bed. I don't know why society places all these milestones on children that are supposed to met at certain ages. Parents love your children, protect and advocate for them, guide them with care, and restrict them responsibility, and they will thrive
Blessings
Different Strokes For Different Folks ! O.K ?
You did the right thing!!! I could tell you horror stories of my parents and then how they wanted me to raise my daughter. She would be a mess if I didit there way. I also let her sleep with us and alway took care of their needs. They are both in their mid 20 and super great kids.
I think that “self soothing” stuff where doctors told us to let them cry until they exhausted themself to sleep was really bad advice. My babies all were nursed and slept in our bed and it was beautiful.
I was in the pharmacy today after seeing the doctor I had more antibiotics prescribed and they are not able to figure out why I’m getting sicker my sinuses and now my lungs are full it never clears up and I started crying suddenly I tried to choke back the tears the pharmacist she came around the counter and gave me a hug I sobbed and thought there really are still kind humans out there my heart was touched by such a powerful kind act and she understands complex post traumatic stress disorder so much so to have someone understand and hug me had more of an impact than I could even believe angels do exist
Cheical drugs as in not nature won't ever heal you. Find out about your microbiome; antibiotics kill them and Big Pharma is controlling our whole belief system, how you think health works. Go to holistic and fix your communication system between your body and you. Stop putting stuff that's unnatural that it can't understand
I’m going through that exact same thing right now too. Have you got to see an ENT yet? Mine hasn’t really helped me. Just more antibiotics, more sinus surgery. I’m already vegan but going raw soon. Drink a gallon of water every day, & try one of those nasal irrigators. And definitely check your microbiome like someone else mentioned. Candida can be a big problem. Good luck 👍
Please research herbs like mullein.
@@patriciacole8773 try going off gluten and dairy.
Psalm 118:17
I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.
John 16:33
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
1 John 1:7
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
p.s. i like those anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, anti-viral food/supplements we can eat/take: garlic, barley, echinacea, pro-biotics, magnesium, vit. B. sleep. drink water. sun. hugs. self-induced joy/laughter. there are many other supplements for sure, but I think we can get them in fruits and veggies.
All my life I was led to believe, from respected sources, that blaming your childhood for your problems was a poor excuse for not taking responsibility for your actions and that it was a shameful practice. So I never looked for answers in that direction. That stone was left unturned by default and I wonder why. Many thanks for your “permission “ to explore uncharted territory.
That's a form of stonewalling and remove the the fault and blame from the abusers.
I am not a health professional, so take this for what it is worth. 🙃
Absolutely examine what made you the way you are, how you feel, react, believe…but then, learn from it. As an adult, your are now responsible for your behavior, regardless of how you formed that behavior. So, when you learn what you are doing it hurtful to someone else, change.
BTW, this is NOT aimed at you! I had a very narcissistic mother who wanted to be thought of as sweet and nice, so she never corrected my bad behavior as a child. I never could figure out what I was doing to alienate people until I was in my mid-20’s. It has been very difficult to retrain my brain! Her selfishness, not reigning a bratty child in when I was rude and selfish because she didn’t want me to be mad at her for correcting me, backfired! I am still angry I was not taught good social behavior as a child. It has caused me a lot of pain and heartache.
I was very diligent in teaching this to my children. I tried to be loving and kind about the correction, of course, and I would take every opportunity that fell in my lap to point out other kid’s rude behavior so they could see why what I was teaching them was important. I still fight these tendencies in myself, which I hate, but at least I know how to behave now. 😕
I wish you luck! 💕
@@smith899 Oh no. Sorry. Misleading. I play with thoughts sometimes. I actually believe and support the first part of my comment that my childhood is a poor excuse for my conduct. My mother was mean and crazy. I don’t know where she fits in diagnostically. I’ve never known anyone like her. I started distancing myself from her as soon as I was old enough to understand. I had to work at it sometimes. I moved to a small town that was culturally and socially stagnant but the open country made it worthwhile. I’m an amateur dressage rider and I love animals and horses and they have shaped me by their honesty and need for clarity. And…… I’m about to turn 74 so I know a lot about myself. I’m a young old person. Photo on left was taken on my 70th birthday. I don’t pay any attention to the number. I added the thanks for the Quora “insight” on a whim so as not to offend. And besides, the freedom to explore ourselves is priceless so good to keep an open mind. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You might confirm the conclusion that things are not always what they seem. 😊
@@shirleybroady1844 SO COOL!!!! (The dressage riding, not your mother, 🙃.)
I, too, distanced myself from my mother at an early age. It used to irritate her to no end that she could not bribe me to do what she wanted. No ‘gift’ from her was worth the cost! I was in my late 40’s when I researched what causes narcissism. Sadly, she never could see herself for what she was, and didn’t understand why her children and grandchildren wanted nothing to do with her. Heartbreaking, really.
@@smith899 Exactly. My mother couldn’t see herself. She never questioned herself or her actions. Hence, she couldn’t see or know me either. I wasn’t the person she thought I was. I had to grow up fast to be independent. I’m actually grateful for that. I learned about survival in a hostile world.
This is such an important conversation! Take note new parents, this could change your child's life!
I guarantee you that the majority of future parents(or new parents) that will cause that degree of pain, are not preoccupied with worrying about sparing their future children from a painful childhood. They are the narcissists that revel in and are literally nourished and sustained by the pain which they inflict on their children.
Abuse causes brain damage from the toxic substances released in the brain during abuse. This changes in the neuropathways so that it never develops into a healthy brain that leads the child to a successful happy life. It also lowers IQ.
I wish ppl would understand that a lot is out of parents hands too. War, death of loved ones, bullying, racism. These are all things that traumatized my family, even while I was self aware and doing the work. There is no real way to avoid this sadness.
I wish I had known all of this previous information when I was raising my
Kids. I feel so ashamed now.
@@ALT-vz3jn you didn't know so you did what you knew. God wants to free you from your shame. He helped me do this through reading the Bible & doing 12 Step work through Celebrate Recovery.
How refreshing to hear two doctors talk about their own addictive behaviors and therapies they are doing :)
Dr Mate sounds so much like a real Mensch. He is a gift to humanity.
And he is not a Zionist!
@@autodidact2499 wtf? thats pretty funny, and probably accurate. it does suck when religion gets sucked into important topics i would have to agree!
@RR Or human.
100%
@@banditodwardo4028
God heals
This lecture is helping me to understand the origins of my emotional issues particularly with my parents. They had six children who both of them were ill-equipped to care for emotionally. Today, decades later, half of their children are estranged from the other half. The remaining three of us choose to interact with each other but cautiously. We were not taught in childhood to treasure our sibling relationships. Sad.
Same here. 1 am one of 4 …. There is minimal to no communication between and amongst us - little to no work done or being done on the traumas of our childhood
God is unlimited 🙏
Omg... Our childhoods are so exact.
Thanks for this, it's like a page out of my life in childhood and your right it affects how siblings interact/or don't mostly, it is sad to feel unconnected to most of your family..
@@papabear2515 I feel this and can empathize with you, hope u find some peace in your future.
Is it bad to be addicted to Gabor mate videos ???
theisisreincarnate never! ;)
If it's doing harm and you can't stop, your addicted😉
There is no negative or detriment.
What pain are you soothing? 😄
No, not at all!! It is extremely positive!! 😀
I battled substance use disorder for ten years. I received about as much professional help as possible in various forms, including TMS therapy. No "expert" was ever able to uncover the truth about my childhood, which was filled with trauma. I always believed I had had a happy childhood, and no therapist ever questioned my convictions. It wasn't until I found online resources relating to trauma and narcissistic abuse that I finally started to recover from my addiction. Turns out, I had a terrible childhood. I was terrorized and manipulated on a regular basis, and the whole time I thought I deserved it. It's mind-blowing to realize this. Thank you, Gabor Mate. You're doing such important work. Can't wait to pick up your book.
Absolutely blown away at the care, compassion and desire to help us, the wounded.
Humility is not common today and to see 2 genuine people like these 2 very approachable men is refreshing to the core.
Every chamber of my heart was touched by their comments and I look forward NOW to heal with HOPE at my side. Your sincerity is truly visible from the start.
Love your videos and thank you so much for sharing them.
Very Best Wishes from the Niagara Falls Region,
-Dan-0
So true. Such an enjoyable, passionate and warm conversation, even with such difficult topics. Amazing!
Listening to them it was so emotional I cried
Yes, I am crying too....I feel validated in what I have known for years as to the affects of childhood trauma. My field is preventative "medicine", and have always believed in the mind, body and spirit connection! Mental health is extremely essential to our physical well being , quality of life and thus our happiness and longevity.
I agree, I find it so healing and touching listening to people talking in a compassionate and understanding way.
I wish you lived in London and that I could meet you and talk to you in person - someone who has the same depth of understanding ❤
I love Dr Gabor so much he is such a kind caring person , I have never heard anyone so understanding of the human problems and condition . He seems to have a deep and unconditional understanding and love of people. He is so intelligent ! I could listen to him forever , I wish I could be his patient .
czcams.com/video/kOrtFT_ry9k/video.html
@ Elizabethd69 - If it helps to broaden your horizons, perhaps this might help?
THE child psychologist ALICE MILLER ( R.I.P. ) stated that 90% of our species are dysfunctional because of authoritarian - abusive- toxic parenting The symptoms that result from that cause @ one end of the continuum, people who take nicotine-alcohol-drugs to medicate their emotional pain to @ the other end the "great" dictators of the 20th century Hitler/Stalin/Mao/Pol Pot ( It is no random coincidence that they were all abused children who's pathological defence mechanism was to become psychopaths e.g. shut down emotionally & seek power to protect themselves) Unfortunately these dictators obtained such power as to allow them to re-enact their child hood traumas-dramas on the world stage leading to World War / Holocaust - Genocide / deliberate famine / etc
While I feel sorry for what happened to them as kids clearly, @ the VERY least psychopaths should NEVER EVER be given power - & clearly we have yet to learn that lesson ! BTW - ALICE MILLER has written over a dozen books on this topic & a good starting point is "For Your Own Good: The Roots of Violence in Child-Rearing "
Opening our eyes
I'm listening to this as I'm cooking, and as you & Mate were talking about getting into your subconscious being like peeling back the layers of an onion, I was actually peeling a purple onion. Talk about synchronicity!
🙄🙄🤔🤣 stay in the kitchen
No thank you.
i was stripping wallpaper of my room wall lol
@@healthyworldnutrition4707 😂
I was listening to that exact spot when I read your post !
I cannot even remember how many times I’ve shared this video. Nothing as compared to how many times I’ve listened to it. 🙌🏻 Every single time I am blessed.
I believe these two men are gifts to the world.
I so agree with you!
As a Psychotherapist trained in the legacy of developmental trauma, it’s so refreshing to hear its affect described by Gabor. CBT is heralded by the nhs as the therapeutic go to but though cheap to provide doesn’t address the depth of trauma that Gabor describes here. #psychotherapy.
Thank you. Trauma can't be dealt with at the level of cognition as it is physical and subconscious and probably mostly processed/triggered by the limbic system and brain stem. No amount of language based thinking can stop emotions and sensations arising in the moment.
🤦♂️
@@LTTPUK Yes, though still helpful if one engages in trauma work oneself or at least learns about it and prepares for treatment. It seems to demand that one has a good, stable everyday life, which CBT can help with, at least if the therapist is warm, empathic and wise.
So glad to hear you are an alternative therapist. Do you know how come so many act hard and unavailable + quite controlling and rigid, and uncaring, superficial, seemingly unconscious of how their approach/treatment style affects ones very ability to function and express oneself, listen, think and speak? And how they dismiss one, despite being very good on the phone prior to 1st meeting?Are they all damaged by microwave phoning, - it disturbs the Vagal connection heart-brain too, apart from the Calcium problem etc. I started doing CBT on my own, with a Dr-s book, but failed to follow through. Am too stress-exhausted (burnt out) and stress sick, sleepless and near isolated and let down by Health care, quite terrifying.Also, his book's examples ware too simple and superficial to really adress my caseand level of work process.
if ine is in crisis because of lack of therapy, should not the therapist start from there, instead of shutting one out, claiming one is not able to do therapy? With Aspergers /high sensitivity, of course i need to have that taken into account in sessions, and ghealth-care induced extra traumas/harm must be reckoned with.do therapists in practice demand one to be easy-going, unaffected, very robust? Why then do they even receive me, do they get extra paid for new visits or something? I am devastated and so deeply sad at having got my health and life destroyed by the very ones who should have helped or at least been compassionate and care-ful. Have a good life. .
@@Medietos da fuq
excellent interview. I could listen to Gabor speak all day.Ive always disliked the way the medical profession is so quick to dispense medication after a 3 minute consultation and move on to the next patient. There is no real care or interest in getting to the root cause of an issue. This is why so many turn to eastern medicine which treats the person as a whole and not just addressing the symptoms. When pharmaceuticals have a vested interest and profits are the only motive western medicine will never change. We need more people like these two Dr.s to help make the change.
Medecine destroyed my mother my daughter's I blame those GP they've achieved nothing but capability prescribing drugs
I feel more often, doctors should prescribe diet, exercise, and therapy before suggesting medication. That's what really helped me.
I used to tell my older sister, while she was studying her degree in Psychology, 25 years ago, that in the future we wouldn't have doctors, as in physicians, but psychologists, as in therapists/counselors, instead, for most of human 'malfunctioning'.
I knew nothing about life back then, I still don't, but this thought has just turned sturdier and more evident to me with the passing of events and life's lessons.
For me it was always an intuition, but it's greatly rewarding when you encounter 'real doctors and nurses' (the officially trained ones by official universities), who are themselves moving away from drug-based-only-solution approach and shifting to an emotional, mind, holistic, quantic one, however you want to call it. I call it respectful, at least. And I realized that many were doing it ages ago, and actually finding and providing the science and the facts for that, without much noise, unfortunately, but there are so many, and it's fantastic.
Have you ever been to China? I live in Europe and an appointment with my GP takes me around 30 to 40 minutes, when I lived in China I had a maximum of 10 with other patients waiting inside the office (traditional or western). They both are even quicker to put you on meds the difference is that a western medicine chinese doc might ask some lab tests and then prescribe western and chinese medicine while a TCM doctor will check your wrist and prescribe with chinese medicine.
@@meekee1490 I've lived in China and you don't want to know what they do and treat people with mental health issues. Do you think they treat them as whole? Actually, any person with a permanent or temporary disability is seen as a burden to society and looked down upon. So you won't see anyone on wheelchaird, crutches, walking aids, they are just hidden from society and not included.
People with mental illness are considered family responsibility and if a family remember decides to lock another on a psych ward for any reason, cops will take that person, and psychiatrists have no power to release that person, they won't even evaluation them they'll just take the family testemony. Only the family member who wrote the compulsive letter for hospitalization can write the release one, and local police will be warned about it.
About psych wards, they are just middle security prisons with similar or worse conditions where patients are fed and injected all kind of psychiatric drugs (yeah the heavy ones, the big pharma ones).
Oh and Electric shocks as punishment, not as therapy, without anesthesia.
When you ask a visa for China you are asked if you have any mental illness, guess how much they feel like treating people.
In korean and Japan mental health is a taboo that no one should talk about, drugs or no drugs, nobody gets help, so they just commit suicide or have alcohol addiction since other substances are a big deal.
Go ahead and try seek treatment in one of these countries, I'm sure they'll look at you as whole and go for it.
This is like getting self therapy on demand.
Thank you both Gabor and the host for this excellent podcast.
I'm so glad that Dr. Maté addresses the cruel practice of "sleep training" in this video.
if I had married my ex partner he would've made us do that to our kid. One reason I didnt ;)
@@sadiemakesmesmile I am in agreement with him on emotional and instinctive levels, would never let my child cry it out. At the same time, rationally speaking, I can't help but notice that western kids are much more resilient, independent, thriving, ambitious, and emotionally stable than those raised in traditional, close contact cultures where they get a lot of touchy-feely sort of care. I wonder if it is the other side of the same coin that has to do with personal boundaries, separation, etc. Ultimately, there is no perfect parenting style, and no perfect parents, so it's just a matter of finding the right balance. Sometimes it is cruel to be kind and kind to be cruel, considering the world we raise them to live in.
Yes indeed. I never let my child cry it out, and was criticized and ridiculed for it. I was left to cry it out as a baby, and I grew up knowing my feelings didn't matter. I ran away from home when I was 5 because I didn't feel loved and didn't think my parents cared about me. I didn't want my child to feel like that.
@@JN-wr9he I think the complete opposite of your analysis of western children. I’ve spent many years living in Asian country’s and I couldn’t disagree more.
@@JN-wr9he They are not emotionally stable or ambitious, that's what they present on the outside until they breakdown or go home and break their partners and their kids. Or have weird physical diseases popping up.
They aren't emotionally stable they are better at hiding/supressing emotions but only when there's someone to watch, work addiction is also an addiction.
Also let's not compared holding a crying baby in a crib and pappering a crying toddler throwing a toddler everywhere
This interview shows the real core of compassion and love that does exist in our society between people who rarely care about humanity .. Bless you Dr.Gabor and Dr Chatterjee Angel among us !!
Perfectly said!
compassion and love exist everywhere. you're not seeing it b/c you choose to see the opposite
Watching this in the Covid era, I'm reminded of how disconnected we already were before lockdowns, masks, and social distancing. This is now a major individual and societal problem; the effects of which - exploding rates of depression, addictions, and other mental health disorders - are being, like everything else, commodified by tech companies that make a tiny number obscenely rich.
Yes that is so true. We do not know how to have feelings and we have to fit in the box is another thing.
Adam yes you are on point. Get Dr Mate’ s new book THE MYTH OF NORMAL. I can’t wait to get it.
Wow. Thanks proffy
@@laraoneal7284 thanks for sharing....please pass
I'm a long time hospice nurse. It's unreal and totally heart-breaking to me that so many young people have completely no idea how to connect to me or others. It's jarring.
Hi. Hospices were real important to me, as a cause, back to my twenties in the 80 s. I was extremely lucky being an employee of the nfb then There were connections to Dr balfours efforts here in mtl at work. I could indulge my intellectual curiousity. I did some volunteering and work in the field. Thanks for whatever you are finding yourself involved in these days! Seems kinda sad your post btw. There are lots of good people around. Courageous folk. It sure has taken courage to live through covid, especially in the end of life field. Congrats
Gabor my hero, walking wisdom and inspiration!
I agree...johnjaklestudio8@gmail.com
@@johnjakle943 why did you provide your email address? just asking
Jestem Budda Człowieku I’m guessing accidental autofill! LOL!
Ill take note when he exposes how damaging ripping apart screaming children's genitals is harmful.
@@nextlevelintactivism8195 I love Gabor but I think he’s a little too easy on parents sometimes considering all the horrific harm they unthinkingly perpetrate on children and expect not to be held responsible (which he complies with a little too often for my liking)
One of the reasons I couldn't keep going with my nursing program, I was being taught about drugs and not how to help the human heal
Over "pharmed", proved harm....
And I like your name - I'm a fan of corvids.
Good for you! You woke! Now you can choose holistic nutrition school to effectively help people heal.
Gabor Mate is such a wise therapists. I wish we had many more therapists like him
@@gracegwozdz8185 holistic nutrition? I guess you didn’t watch the video.
Good for you
I feel a healing listening to Gabor. He is so spot on. Thank you 💓
I can't even imagine the emotional state of children who live in warn torn countries. What will their future look like? What kind of adults will they be? Children of Congo, Syria, Gaza, we think of you and hope that your life won't be ruined by us adults' foolishness and greed.
The few lucky ones may one day become like Gabor Mate
Yes, tragic what children see and experience in war torn countries!
That’s why there are so many murders in all these countries
Some of these kids will end up radicalised and be murderers themselves :(:(.... We have to end all the wars, these atrocities cannot continue. Lucky Dr Mate's son Aaron Mate is on it !
They won’t look any worse than children in America that have endured monstrous abuse and neglect
17:30 response-able
21:24 you are not your personality
44:42 "lifestyle change"
46:00 reframing
I let my oldest kids cry because of several reasons
This bby I have now is two months old. I pick him up whenever he needs me and he cries so much less. He's less anxious and our connection is very strong. I'm not sure how this will turn out but so far it looks amazing.
I really commend you for learning and being willing to make adjustments. My parents were unwilling to change, and it really cost me. You're awesome.
It's about not feeling loved - cared about - as a child. A mother who is so wrapped up in her own pain ( neurosis) that she never ( or very rarely) expresses any warmth toward the child .
Addendum : Want to know the root cause of it all ? - seek out "the hand that rocked the cradle " .
“wrapped up?” perhaps, or perhaps brain damaged, ptsd, domestic violence, not on conscious levels desired , inadvertently unavailable. I appreciate Dr. Mate’ release of shame and blame , acknowledging this is what is, and Now….
Or is suffering mental illness or addiction, or is a victim of domestic abuse, etc.
This ^^
Loved his comment about the US and their abusive childcare system.I watched his documentary “The Wisdom of Trauma” - cried throughout the entire show. His comments about language is stunning. I could listen to this man for hours.
I love this video. Thank you for conducting this interview. I spent 10 years teaching in pediatric residency training at a major children's hospital. One of the most rewarding experiences that I know made a huge impact was to take residents to the homes of families they served. All assumptions and judgements went right out the door! All strengths and empathic responses entered consideration! I went on to become a trainer for Dr. Bruce Perry's Neurosequential Model for Caregivers. It is such an honor to do this work.
"Light shines in the darkness and the darkness does not comprehend it." is one of the opening verses of John chapter 1..
YES!
Te amo Gabor. Your wisdom & insights dispensed with your calm deep voice is a blessing. Our species wound, and the pain from our unmet need to be "part of" our tribe/ band/community is the root cause of so much, perhaps even all, our sorrow. It is huge- this hole we live with. Feels like a vacuum to me sometimes.
1. Mothers needs their babies & children as much as converse. But motherhood is not meant to be done in individual little boxes ( houses) and alone. Many women will choose have a paying job because it is so much easier!
2. I love seeing wounds heal. I love seeing trees bear fruit year after year- in spite of abject neglect.
Our souls evolve and exist beyond what our eyes see.
I appreciate your wisdom, gentle compassion and insights. I am a miracle. I am a work in progress- as I overcome the neglect/ abandonment of my "childhood"- sometimes I only survive, bur thanks to many 'angels' I am usually thriving. I keep wounds clean, debrided. And healing happens. One day, each breath, at a time.
Yes.
All of it.
Again.
2022 will be my best year ever. I am growing.
@@amandalynngibson8332 thank you for sharing your heart. I agree, seeing a tree bear fruit is miraculous. Also, seeing a tree that is abandoned by humans, perhaps, develop strength through its relationship with the "hidden," life-supportive ecology in the dirt- THAT is amazing. Sometimes, the thing everyone else thinks is worthless, is the thing worth its weight in gold.
Our society is steeped in stress. Hyper-capitalism, dog eat dog competition and the need for losers to make winners feel superior drives us mad. This interview should go viral. The truth that comes through is precisely what is wrong with our country. Meeting the needs of our citizens is fundamental to making our society compatible for the people who reside here facilitating their self actualization. That is fundamental to health and happiness. Thank you for this most enlightening talk.
I thought that for many years, it wasn't until I let that idea go that I became aware of the threat of collective sycosis and how it controls the reality we accept.
Having a dr who works in the same realm as Gabor Mate being the interviewer makes the dialogue rich and strong. Two intelligent specialists having an exchange brings out the best of Mate’s wisdom. This topic is universal, it helped to hear how apes act, how different cultures treat crying babies and how addictions are sometimes actually in all of us- not just street addicts. Thank you.
Such a generous wise vulnerable and beautiful,soul Gabor Mate thankyou from my heart So much food for thought and Thankyou dr Chatterjee
My sincere pleasure!
@@DrChatterjeeRangan Thanks for your enthusiastic and well-pronounced (british!) language + interview. One objection about scandinavia though: Long parental leave sadly does not mean emotionally-spiritually-creative quality time with the children or that they found good habits for them, parenting with TV/ questionable "children's" films, then being preoccupied in their mobile phonies instead of full togetherness and attention, and children being given and using a mobile phony already from early life. Sweden even has the highest microwave radiation border levels, people are tired and sluggish, and few find out how the mobile phone really works, and that it is extra damaging in the growing, vulnerable young. But I then hear that you 2 do mention the gadget issue.
I am positively shocked how G. Maté takes that ostheomyelitis of that addicted woman seriously. I have been searching help for my CPTSD-related /caused Anchylosing Spondylitis , have Aspergers diagnosis, both very late diagnoses and the help not yet provided! Have now long been stressed to death instead of getting personal assistence and doctor help. Might I be your patient, please?
I need support and positive co-working for the sick me (compulsive eating with sugar addiction, have changed my diet, but had my home and money taken, so that doesn't help with the severe childhood stress . And I am not in shape to manage lawyer contact (most are not like in movies). I haven't been able to sleep a full night since spring -97, and still they all seem to demand me to be unaffected by maltreatment and being withheld co-working and my own case. They have acted outside the lawful, probably because they dislike my relative independent, alternative thinking / interests and practice. of course you are acting in your connection with Gabor M here, but I still hope and ask! i have been looking for and trying to heal for 39 years and want to start living now.! I intend to get my money etc back, so payment will not be an obstacle. Do you work within the system, or in private practice?
@@Medietos my mom boasted about throwing herself downstairs and running into walls to induce my birth. Fortunately she bolted. I was 2 years.
I yearned for her. My whole childhood I dreamt she'd return n rescue me
I struggle with chronic autoimmune skin conditions, diabetes but otherwise physically healthy for a woman of 73.
It's the mental anxiety Coping with a year of lockdown starting with losing my job. I suddenly had lost the routine I built my life around.
All my addictions flared
@@KateBates22zabu But well done to have worked at 71! How can you re-organize yourself now, to re-find the good life habits you had? Try OA, ACA or AA? They are helping many.
it is less spiritually right nowadays, (people try to take short.cuts and are content with less than the real thing, due to microwave radiation i think, but then all of society is affected by its damages.
i realized, i have to do the real work on my own, because my lovely telephone sponsor has limited resources and is no BIG , REAL leader/guide for someone like me, although very good if I don't need too much and can drive myself again.
Stress.
If you go, just be careful whom you trust and who is your sponsor. Vulnerable, non.-driven people can get hurt by unwise members if not watching out. I have been too naive in my CPTSD.
What job have you had, what work done?
@@Medietos thanks for response as it interrupted a memory of pain. These memories suck me back & down like quicksand.
I don't know what your initials stand for..alcohol anon.,I know but I'm not a drinker, alcohol is my family curse.
Busted. My job was only caring for my grandchild who was six in December.
I was once an office worker. I worked for 🇺🇸Federal gov, which means that I passed civil service exam for secretary skills.
I worked for Carnegie Mellon Uni, first in architecture then in their publishing dept.
I had children but no child care. So worked for temp agencies. My speciality was being *accurate*. I had a semi permanent temp job typing budgets, annual reports & audits -- long columns of numbers before computers.
All of my skills are obsolete now.
I was accepted as an ironworker apprentice. $17.per hour in 1978. Gov forced union to hire a % of women.
They made it easy for me bc I was an ironworker widow. Unfortunately as a 100 pound woman I couldn't carry rebars or even tie knots correctly. It became too humiliating.. I quit.
I had a federal income as a widow with two young children.
Have you heard of
*ikigai*? It's Japanese & translates to life purpose. The ppl of Okinawa have world's most 100 year Olds bc of ikigai (pronounce icky guy) I'm listening to audiobook on YT at night., you might find interesting.
I hope you find a useful therapist and help with your physical issues. Thx for opportunity to vent, really needed it.
You're v kind. :^)
As an x drug addict, I didnt recover before, I was able to be in my feelings, and accept the reality, and my emotions. Nothing last forever, and behind the clouds, the sky is always blue... This to shall pas....❤
Psalm 118:17
I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.
John 16:33
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."
1 John 1:7
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
@@audreyheart2180 ❤🙏❤
Both docs have motivated me to acknowledge how much my angry older brother beat up on me as a child and how my alcoholic (love starved themselves) parents neglected me. It is no wonder, at 75, I experience loneliness and need to attend OA 12 step meetings. I am so grateful for Drs. Mate and Chatterjee's wisdom. Gary in Hilo
When I had my son 2004 ppl where telling me not to carry him around so much, put him down. My instinct told me to carry him as much as i could. There are so many things coming from "experts" like do not pick the baby up when he is crying, insane. We have lost our instinct and only listening to experts. If you do listen to your instinct you get questioned. I am living in Sweden and yes we can stay home but when the baby is about 1 they go to childcare. If you do not put them into childcare at that age that is questioned too, as we did. My istinct just told me to wait until he can walk and talk. So my son was unique, he could express himself.
Thanks for this video!
trust yr feelings and especially yr instinct. You know how scienti!fic the virus experts handled covid
so powerful.... Gabor releases shame from the philosophy of "addiction"
Finally my shame is beginning to life!
Your comment is spot on❤👌🏾💥
🧠🙏🏾
Canada you are so fortunate to have so many brilliant minds to follow. Thank you for sharing this one.
It's crazy how I'm being classed as an enemy sharing this video... With family... I wish for all the strength to acknowledge and address the internal issues that exist in us all, and the strength and perseverance to correct these issues for ultimate more positive outcome. We need to heal ourselves before breaking the Earth, but it's time to start addressing these realities for the overall collective & survival of humanity. Much love ➰🕳️
I'm so glad I cam across this! I'm studying counselling and psychotherapy and recently one of Dr Chaterjee's articles was part of an assignment I had to write (social media and its impact on the mental health of young people). As if that wasn't enough you're chatting to Gabor flipping Mate who is one of my hero's! Great and illuminating conversation!
Yes, so refreshing to hear someone address subconscious programming in childhood and it’s importance in treating addiction. He is really fantastic.
I agree with him-I’m in recovery (Alcohol)
All my life I wanted my Mother to be a Mum-instead she treated me like her “friend” I could never be her friend-her personality crushed mine as a young girl xx
I saw in another video that our parents aren't supposed to be our friends, I get what it meant but as a child you want to be emotionally close to your mother just like you and I wanted, it never happened, god bless you and your recovery.
'You are not your personality' resonates. We do need to give more compassion. Thanks very much for interview!
This phrase deeply resonated with me too. Thanks for your feedback!
What did he mean by that ? Can you elaborate more ? If we’re not our personality then what are we ?
Yes, especially for those of us who struggle with personality disorders. When the personality is disordered it becomes so much more apparent how fragile its structure this.
Does it mean that whether our perspective is choleric or sanguine or melancholy or phlegmatic it is only a way of communicating with our world and not the entire makeup of our character?
@@bruntbrunette4819 its more of like, you should treat/ love someone as a person not a personality. A person will always remain the same but their personality can change or vary.
I listened to one video by Dr Gabor Mate and it cut so deep. I knew something was happening to me. It is positive y'all. No one has ever gotten me
to feel this gaping hole. All I could do whilst listening to this and to say I am gutted would be an understatement. WOW 🔥 this man is so good. Feeling the pain I feel right now is just what I needed to further embark on my healing journey. It feels like someone just ripped my heart out and I am so relieved. As this marks the beginning of my healing 🙏😭
I am finding my adaptations from infancy through teen was the result of bereft interaction between any maternal to child connection.
Seven decades later my realizations and actualization or healthy activation initiates through the teachings of Dr.
Gabor Mate resonating words of wisdom.
Healing is healing at any age.
Always felt like I was waiting to exhale and now it feels like I am beginning to breathe deeply for the first time. ♡
Dear Rangan and Gabor,
Thankyou so much for this.For helping us all with our humanity and lives. You are indeed brightly shining lights. Thankyou.
I am addicted to Gabor Mate videos!
I love this mans COMPASSION, and mind.
So addictive!
As a Reiki and Creative Kinesiology practitioner, I've experienced a deep connection between emotional trauma prior to the age of 7yrs and physical ailments to the point you can map this onto the body. Each ailment connects with a chakra and the chakra as other various associations, including the most effective route for healing. Talking therapy, energetic therapy, physical therapy ect are all required to shift your perception and your awareness in order to heal. We are multi layered beings and so our recovery must be multi layered.
This video gave me new hope, hope of a life without addiction. Thank you!
howso?
@@boliusabol822 I'll answer for myself: Regarding community, I have found it in the fellowship of AA, and for emotional healing... well, time to get real and dig into the scary traumas of childhood. Both the initial trauma(and subsequent fallout through tainted life choices), and voluntary isolation has kept me stuck. Stuck in the hopeless cycle of addiction. At this point, it is absolutely a choice.. and I chose to accept responsibility!
@@mandeskelton9548 nothing magic in this video. You joined a support group for your alcohol addiction. Such a group would have a therapist running it.
@@boliusabol822 Valid! The change was within, the willingness(I "chose responsibility" to take action). And utilizing help and support has made all the difference 😊 For me *magic*, indeed!
@@mandeskelton9548 please don't credit him for that for goodness sake, it's not like nobody ever mentions the idea of taking responsibility. Every parent, republican, pretty much almost anybody that isn't a cocaine shooting druggie or pop star, talks about that!
Finally I see an intelligent man speaking about these themes.
Addiction doesn't just effect the addict. How does it benefit the addicts children to have their parents ripped away and to end up in the foster system.
That's what happened to me. My mother went to jail but never got any real help. She ultimately od'd and died. I was headed down the same path until someone said to me, "you clearly love your high more than you love your daughter."
It was like I was hit with a 2x4. The shame and horror snapped me out of it and I've been straight for years now, but I'm an exception to the norm. We must deal with addicts differently to break the cycle.
Angela, all love to you.
@@SuperLammens thank you wim 💛
Mother Issues you fat hag why did you even get kids if ur gonna do heroin all the time
Wow....both tilling the same soil. How wonderful is that? Great to see that Dr Mate appreciated your interview. I've watched so many and it's the first time I've heard him make such a heartfelt compliment. I thought this was one of the best. You kept the questions lovely and simple. Brilliant interview!....
"Addiction is not a choice".
THANK YOU. 💙
The mind-body connection is slowly coming into education. I'm currently finishing a diploma in Neuro-Psycho-Immunology after doing a masters in pharmacy. Its very slow progress in the UK, but it is happening. When I see people with physical conditions, they are almost always linked with emotional contributions or root causes and releasing those emotions manifest very quickly into improved symptoms, sometimes even reversal. It's so refreshing to have this talked about openly more and more... Thank you for a wonderful conversation
As a colleague with PhD and sufferer of chronic pain and fatigue, I can totally tell you that my physical dis-eases are manifestation of my strive to perfection and being a high achiever. I was successful from outside but extremely lonely and unhappy inside. I had to give up my career as I could no longer carry the burdens.
Oh hang it. I'm just going to take a day off, start from the beginning and binge watch all Dr Mate's interviews, talks etc. Call it addiction, I don't care lol.
Lol! I hope you did it😁
This really gives understanding to why we’ve been addicted, obsessed with “more”...things to anesthetize us, soothe us from our own woundedness most of us not knowing we even had any scars...And why we’ve brought our Consciousness to the awakening happening right now and the collapsing of old paradigms.
A relief to hear Gabor choose the word life over lifestyle...
Floored by this conversation even though I have been following both of you on You Tube for quite some time :-). Heartwarming to witness the respect and understanding you have for each other - and your authentic concerns for patients and anyone else who is hurting including yourselves. This type of content develops when people take it upon themselves to dig deeper, look for causes and find answers that present a potential for long lasting solutions.
Hi, neighbor. Lol.
I just lost my mother my only family and now I have Crohns disease and I am so depressed.......I wish I had a family or a husband.....we need people around us.........
We sure do, try and find a management group for your disease so you can talk to others with the same health issues you have.
Talking and being heard may help. Sending you blessings into your life for strength health and love in your life 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
I’ve just lost my mother to so I know how your feeling. I pray you find a companion god be with you
Diane, maybe a good church can help. Loneliness is a killer.
Your not alone, I have same ISSUES, I walk around and talk to all the people I meet, in the park or at a place where I can sit and people watch, the beach or river...I pray to Jeh God and ask for help, I gave my best to both my kids, 18/20...but alchohol is a drug and being a glutton is a drug, cigarettes is a drug also, my father has been smoking even when he has lung ISSUES....
Dr Mate is a super hero💞
He is great isn't he!
@@DrChatterjeeRangan Thanks for sharing the interview with us, I truly enjoyed it. Another well done job from you.
What a great interview, Dr. Chatterjee and Dr. Maté. Thank you. I missed Dr. Maté during the Online Trauma Summit but now I get to see him. My son's delayed development (possibly mild autism) from birth on started a difficult journey for me that took me right to my own traumas 2 years ago. I'm so grateful to hear more and more specialists talk about the connection between trauma, childhood and health. Dr. Chatterjee, I admire your work and the mindset you put into health. Knowing everything you do as a functional / integrative doctor and now complemeting the picture with trauma, that's just amazing. I dream of becoming a therapist and (functional) health coach one day. It's interviews like this that keep this dream alive because it's so going to be worth it. Keep up the good work, Dr. Chatterjee. And thanks for sharing your own story. I had a feeling watching earlier interviews with you that you were working on your own past stuff, too (and IFS is a brilliant method). A big fan from Germany.
Appreciate your feedback and kind words.
Hello! If your son has mild autism, you might listen to Tony Attwood who has made an amazing and positive lifelong study of Asperger’s and autism. I have Asperger’s and have found his work and explanations very helpful. Best wishes with your studies.
@@DrChatterjeeRangan I wonder how your proffessional and personal lives now?...so much has happened since this was aired and I saw it three years ago. Now it seems even more relevant with what I see as a fairly world wide trauma to most people either consciously or unconsciously.
After WW2, when the men came home and got back to work...the corporations kept the women who were covering for the men at 1/2 the wage and paid the vets 1/2 of what they used to get. This made sure both parents had to work. This is just another corporate crime.
One parent should get to stay home and the wage of the working parent should suffice to care for the entire family.
Free parenting classes should be available as well to break any negative cycles.
pudbass Well said, mate!❣️✨👌🏽✨❣️
🌷🌹💐🌹🌷
Peace, Love & Many Blessings!!! 😘
I do not believe your statement. Can you justify it with verifiable stats? I don't think that they would have put up with that...especially since many were union workers. So, no corperate conspiracy and we need not play the victims in your scenario.
Norman Van Rooy It isn’t a complicated concept, what happens when you double the supply of a product..? Yep, demand goes down, whereby so does it’s value. If the product is labor and the value decreases because of a large influx from an additional labor force (women are more than half the population) then wages will decrease. With a decreased wage it then becomes difficult to have a one provider household. Simply look at wages compared to the rate of inflation since WW2. This isn’t rocket science.
I own businesses and I can tell you that if I had to pay everyone as much as you are saying, my businesses would close. Also not everyone deserves that much money because not everyone contributes the same. Most people work for small businesses and your plan cannot happen under the current government/tax situation. Stop blaming businesses and realize that the federal reserve and government have made our money worthless and taken our kids to school all day so both parents work and pay tax and they control our children. Hang the politicians, not the entrepreneurs.
He's 100% right. I do drugs, I'm an addict & I know the reasons why, I also know I'm not a criminal !!
What a powerful compassion-filled conversation… thank you 🙏🏻
An emotionally unavailable mother is sort of a subterranean "hell on earth" .
Wao You should write..good phrase
A mother is a double edged sword.
John choquette I had an emotionally unavailable mother. she was damaged from being in a home with nuns. she came out hating women and I was targeted most of my life.
Subterranean is a good term since the pain and trauma we experienced from the lack of love from a damaged parent is stored away in our subconscious early in our childhood and saved for later when our brain can bring those subconscious thoughts out into our actions and further authenticates the pain and trauma through our actions in late teenage/early adulthood years.
You've nailed it ... omg
This topic is real, insidious and rampant. It can also feel overwhelming when we begin to acknowledge our childhood traumas And the way the have shaped us. I choose to remain aware that all things can be made right. It is the nature of our universe that All things work for good. There is always hope. Please keep the hope that it too can be overcome.
Dr Gabor helps my inner never understood child find such peace. Every lecture is incredible, most beautiful insightful mind.
Thank you Ranjan and Gabor. I am an alcoholic and heavy smoker. I’m currently sober but I could easily relapse if I feel emotionally abandoned or rejected. I drink to numb emotional pain, I smoke because it helps to distract me, it’s also comforting in some way - a bit like a child sucking their thumb. I don’t want to drink and I don’t want to smoke , I’m aware of the likely outcomes, but I can’t bear life without some sort of “comfort blanket”. I was abused psychologically, emotionally and physically by one parent and neglected emotionally, subtly put down by the other. All I ever heard was criticism, except on very few occasions when I’d made my parent (s) look good in front of other people, then I’d probably get a “well done” . My parents both had pretty harsh childhoods and were jealous of a sibling who appeared to be the “golden child”. My parents weren’t bad people, there were things they could have done better and things which they could have chosen not to do, which would have made my life and my siblings life better, but they thought they were doing things right, they didn’t realise how much damage they were doing to their children. They could be cruel which I don’t entirely understand, but I think it was similar to a person who is bullied unconsciously needing to bully someone weaker than themselves to shore up their own self-esteem and to feel less powerless perhaps. I’ve forgiven them because I don’t think THEY made a choice to be crappy parents - rather the opposite. They also got some things right, such as discussing value systems and I chose a different value system from them, because I wasn’t (entirely) brain-washed by religion, despite attending church every week. I’m terrified that my husband or children or other people I like and love will reject or abandon me. I have quite severe social anxiety, OCD, generalised anxiety (anxiety about how MY children are going to cope in the future with the way things seem to be going in the world and also how I might have damaged them. I can love and forgive others but I really struggle with being kind to myself in any way. Self-love, is still beyond me.
Have you ever read the book, "The Deepest Well"? Also, look up ACES: Adverse Childhood Experiences. Quite eye-opening. I wish you well.
@@bookwoman7803 Many thanks, I haven’t- will look for it 💖
GABOR MATE is just a legend, so helpful to open us all up, especially Men
“Once you shed light into darkness, the darkness becomes light.” 🙏🏻
For those of us who have difficulty concentrating on or even holding an actual physical book, Dr. Gabor Mate's book "When the Body Says No" is available on Audible. (Unfortunately, I don't know whether it's available on Audible UK.) I'm currently listening to it & highly recommend it.
Thank you both for your compassion and humanity.
I hope he narrates it...about to look for it
Wow! What a great conversation! Every time I hear Gabor speak it makes so much sense. Thank you! I'm subscribing!
My sister and I were badly abused by the rest of the family. We were scapegoats. My sister spent most of her life trying to get their approval. I gave up a long time ago and worked on myself. She died last year of cancer. But now I, too, have cancer and realize I must face my past in order to survive!
I pray you overcome cancer and find the healing you are looking for.. I’m so sorry you were abused as a child.. no one deserves that..
What a privilege to witness these two caring humans have a conversation. Hope and Gratitude unlocked.
I want to ask the question “What if the addict is actually a bad person?”. I have an issue with my brother and for as long as I can remember, he has been addicted to illicit drugs, and I think for how he has treated my Mum, my other sibling and myself- he needs to be punished… He emotionally abused me from a very early age, which has really left me with a very low self esteem and difficulty in social relationships and being able to connect with people in general. I have so much empathy and given him so many chances but he keeps manipulating, and gaslighting. I won’t continue to play his game. Sometimes I feel people need to hit rock bottom before they turn their life around.
The medical system needs to be revisited and reinvented with this new information. Go where the help is for sure. Thanks Gabor for your life and your experience. It will serve humanity well.
I like this ' when the student is ready, the teacher appears'. The teacher is really within ourselves as we open up to learn.
I was born and raised in the US and still live in the US. I completely agree with your assessment of this so-called "great" country. Something has got to change.
Gabor is a breath of fresh air!
He is the air
I chose addiction when it was introduced to me. It helped with my symptoms of depression and anxiety. My "addiction worked for me". There it is. People pick something that makes symptoms go away. Unfortunately it had severe side effects. It bled all over the place and I still found it "helped". It served a purpose, but it also created more issues for me that I needed a "fix" for. This is why we get going on the path. That is all.
What a beautiful human being is Dr Gabor Maté - so intelligent, enquiring, and gently loving. Thank you for this great interview.
great interview, this is priceless knowledge derived from personal experience and observation. This guy is AMAZING. i will buy his book "the myth of normal, illness and health in an insane culture".
Gabor inspires the deepest respect in me. I resonate so much with what he says, and look forward to reading some of his books...
I have a malignant narcissist for a mother. I distract through food. It's definitely an addiction. As a teenager before I turned to food I used self harm and shopping. He is spot on
I wonder if we are all traumatized….we live in a traumatic world! Just think of natural disasters, the animal kingdom hunting each other to survive, our survival instincts, diseases and I could go on. I see us all as victims in this cruel trap on earth. Yes, we can be comforted by love and understanding yet life will be so cruel and harsh.
This guy is seriously amazing. God really blessed us with his words. Incredible man
Amen
The biggest and the most impactful thing on every individual is the conditional love from earliest childhood given by the parents/caregivers.
It all starts there.
I so respect Gabor and his work.
A tiny point, but it is glaring to me (as an American) that such a learned, wise, and compassionate individual cannot separate a country's people from its politicians. 🤔🤔🤔
Fascinating! And LOVE that Dr. Chatterjee stayed with families to really understand their health. When I was a psychotherapist, I really felt like I needed to do that. But it was considered "bad boundaries" unless we were observing a child in class or at home.
This was a wonderful dialogue between two delightful doctors, who both see their patients as whole beings, not just organs, as specialists do. Loved this!
Dr Chattergee, thank you for putting out these great podcasts on health.
Fantastic interview... I love Gabor's work. This was a fantastic interview. It is especially meaningful in 2020, and the current disruption to community and social development. As someone who works with kids, I have seen the dramatic effect the Covid response has had on kids. I think Gabor's work is more critical now than ever.
Really beautiful interview, such sincerity and wisdom, huge thanks to both of you
Isn’t it wonderful? In reframing the definition of addiction from the physical substance or behavior to the essential internal dynamic Gabor puts us all on the same playing field, able to understand each other and to apply what we learn about each other to our own pain and problems without prejudice. I find this so beautifully healing. We all have alcoholics and drug addicts in our lives, as well as workaholics etc. Now we can understand each other without fear and judgement. And heal together! ❤️❤️
I love this guy, such a sweet image of someone as brilliant as he is skiving off to shop when he should be working
"All drugs and all behaviours of addiction, all of them soothe pain directly or distracts from it. The first question then is why not the addiction but why the pain?" - Dr Gabor Mate
Zac
🥺
lfty - It's a Great question, but it does not address what to do about the pain?
You're such a gift to the world, Dr. Gabor!!! Bless you :) Learnt so much through this discussion!
I have listened to this video a couple of times now, and I am struck by how much deep wholistic knowledge there is in this talk if you really listen! Thanks so much for this! ❤️😊
I love Dr. Gabor Mate. He is spot on, and it's refreshing to see an intellectual have such a compassionate view on addiction.