r/AmITheA--Hole for Becoming a Sugar Baby with My Mom?
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
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0:00 Intro
0:06 We're both sugar babies now
3:22 I fell asleep with my daughter on my lap
4:39 Nurse tells the horrible truth of what can happen
5:52 Husband and MIL didn't save me food so me and the baby are gone
11:37 Comments with the truth
12:07 Poor new neighbors had no idea how crazy OP is about this garden
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
first story: imma guess the mom says "it's different" because she still views OP as a child/immature and not an adult in a serious relationship
Or just because mommy has worked hard her entire life and deserve to be showered in gifts while the daughter havent lived the same hard life and this will 'ruin the daughter so she wont be strong and independant in the future'
@@natanoj16 I think it's a little of Column A and a little of Column 2. I think you're right to some extent, and there are faaaaaarrr too many people who subscribe to this "You need to pay your dues, or else my sacrifice was for nothing!" selfish mentality.
A current example of that is the student loan debt forgiveness programs. For the people who were swindled by the Corinthian College scandal (Ironically partially owned by betsy devoss, the Education Secretary that trump appointed...), when Obama decided to offer them relief, especially after the schools closed and ran in the middle of the night to lessen prosecution, the right wing and some "centrists" lost their fucking minds. "Why do THEY get their college paid for?!? **I** had to pay for mine!!" (Except, most of those publically complaining didn't pay, their rich mommies and daddies did, and the people swindled by CC no longer had "College degrees", so why should they be on the hook for a billionaire family's scam to get more money?)
Their arguments were "**I** paid my dues (**cough mommy and daddy **cough cough**), so why shouldn't they?! Do I get all MY money back? I should get all MY money back if they aren't made to suffer too!"
It's the Crabs in a Bucket mentality. You have to drag everyone else down, so they don't come out better than you, and instead of elevating yourself with them.
he 2nd part, I think may be jealousy and looking down on her daughter. "She _obviously_ doesn't love her boyfriend like her mom does, she's too shallow/too dumb/too immature/etc to love him! But mommy, _genuinely_ loves her boyfriend, so it's different."
A good rule of thumb; whenever someone tells you "It's different!" when it clearly isn't, ask them to explain the specifics on why and how it's different. Don't let up when they scream "it just is! ok!". "But, if 'it just is', then you should have no problem explaining it, right? You can clearly explain why an orange is different than an apple, since they are different. So, if your situation is _truly_ different from mine, it should be a piece of cake for you to describe why and how.". Eventually you'll frustrate them enough to admit it isn't, or to let the real reason slip out.
Don't listen to the rslash prize comment. It's a fake account trying to scam you.
Are we gonna forget she JUST found out about the term "sugar baby"
@@TheOppaiKami honestly not all that surprising. Ik people my age (18) who don't know things like that
in reference to the third story, in my country India we have a tradition, when a baby is born in a family nobody eats before the baby's mother. We only start once she has her fill.
This tradition is followed may be because in olden days there wasn't much food to go around and since the mother of a new born needs sufficient energy to maintain hers and baby's health this practice came into place. For good measures this is still being followed.
Really,Ive never heard,N or S India???
In the Philippines, there's something similar. From what I remember the pregnant mother HAS to eat first st the dinner table or something. I can't remember if the same goes for if the baby is born though
We’ve always done this in our Irish family. Mum gets a nice hot meal, in peace with husband, while someone cares for the baby. Then we do dishes, laundry, housekeeping, errands…all rotate on a schedule that is approved by the mum prior to giving birth! Guess our family is just bizarre that way. And God help you if you show up to visit mum and baby without food! The door doesn’t open. My MIL made the mistake of visiting with no food AND asked me to make her a cuppa!!! I had to get between her and my cousin, it’s hilarious now but oh boy! I have the best MIL too!
Not going to lie, that sounds like an awesome one.
That sounds wonderfull. I can respect that tradition.
But. . . the MIL isn’t helping out OP with the baby or the house. She’s taking care of her baby boy because OP had the audacity to make an entire new human and proceed to devote all her time and attention to the baby. How is this grown man to take care of himself without his wife or mommy to help? Send his spoiled, selfish butt back to his mommy permanently.
Men who care about their mums are good, but that guy? I don't think he ever left the crib.
@@ShiftyMcGoggles I don’t think his lips ever left his mom’s tit.
Time Karen's lil baby boy cut umbilical cord himself and laid off his Mama's boobie milk.
been hearing so many stories of women having kids with mommy boys
Surprised R/Slash didn’t side with the entitled family member like he did last.
I lost almost all my teeth to form my daughters skeleton.....it was horrible. The pain was unbearable, almost worse than the birth. getting enough vitamins and calories when you're pregnant/breastfeeding is truly no joke....always take that shit seriously.
Yeah, my teeth are damaged because I was so sick while I was pregnant that I couldn’t eat much. Then because I struggled to keep down food the whole pregnancy, I had a hard time breastfeeding because I didn’t have enough nutrients to make milk.
My baby was born super skinny without enough fat on him, and after having him for several weeks I’ve never been so hungry in all my life. No matter how much I ate, I couldn’t get full.
If my husband denied me meals in those weeks, I’d have left him too. Even if there were no other issues, and there’s clearly other issues in that story.
I will end up losing all my teeth due to pregnancy. It has taken years to happen, but the damage started with pregnancy. Just because you can’t see the damage right away, doesn’t mean it won’t happen. That hubby is a BH of highest order
I've lost a couple of teeth to each pregnancy... if the whole tooth didnt go it was crumbled enough it might as well have done. One of the side effects of pregnancy they dont warn you about
Yeah. I definitely destroyed my mom's teeth. :(
That's so scary. Never known this and now I'm even more scared of getting pregnant.
Story 3: they knew you were home, they knew you were breastfeeding. They didn't at least ask if you were hungry, and the one thing MIl was actually good for she did not do, if I were you I would consider having a good vacation away from both of them.
Imagine the great difficulty or trudging all the way over to the room where OP was breastfeeding, then having to knock or even open the door to ask OP if she wanted something to eat. A true Herculean effort for husband or MIL. The MIL said she didnt save any food, that implies there was food for OP but was thrown away..... this was nothing but spite by MIL.
Frankly even if she wasn't hungry at that time they should have saved her a plate in case she was hungry later. And when you stay somewhere to help someone it might be good to ask yourself what your are actually helping them with. It seems she is mostly there for entertainment and pampering her own son with total disregard of op.
OP added three updates, the first when people accused her of depriving him of his son, she added: he's more then welcome to visit his son, he just doesn't want to visit because he HATES my mother for some reason. There's other update edits that you can read from the post
MIL with the food: Get out. Get out now. His reaction proves that he is not going to be a healthy relationship.
Stop scamming people!!!!
Guys, What’s a “ op “
@@vaevixis5157 over powered
@@vaevixis5157 original poster
I would try therapy first.
When it came to the food story. I’d be heated enough to take off my wedding ring and throw at the man child and say ‘go marry mommy’
Yes
Totally agree I'm livid.
"go marry mommy!"
love that so much
Story 1: Practice what you preach. Don't disrespect your daughter every opportunity because her boyfriend gets her nice things, while getting nice things from your boyfriend. Also unless your BF is paying for your bills there is nothing wrong with what he's doing.
Like, I sympathize and get where the mom is coming from, but she really needs to relax for this situation.
Sympathy for the path she’s following raising OP
No sympathy for her hypocrisy, it’s not “different” you’re just a [insert word that rhymes with “grunt” and starts with “C”]
@@pandoratheclay Yes, this right here.
It sounds like even though op holds so much reverence for her mother, she only holds resentment and jealousy towards op. I get being a single teen mom is EXTREMELY tough but you should never lament your child having a better life than you and that's the vibe I'm getting. She is blatantly disrespecting op by ignoring her hard work and independence, her boyfriend for simply being well off and loving and their relationship by cheapening to a sugar daddy/sugar baby one.
To add insult to injury, I'm pretty sure the reason she thinks her relationship is different is because she views hers as a real, loving relationship. While she genuinely views ops relationship as glorified prostitution.
She had her at 15, at 14 she discovered the carrot, at 15 she was done with the carrot and made a baby carrot.
Oh gosh, yes, I felt so bad for my mom when she told me the reason her teeth are really bad is because I was such a nutrient hungry baby that I was absorbing the calcium from her body! I also found out later that my dad was trying to control what she ate when pregnant because he was afraid of her getting fat, like wtf?! Thankfully they're divorced, lol. Pregnant and breastfeeding mothers need a lot of nutrients, please don't withhold food from them!
man that's crazy. Its amazing the things you find out about people you grow up around once your an adult.
It took me getting my dad drunk when I was in my early 20's to finally find out the reason he and mum got divorced (she always said he cheated, but I never bought it as the woman he supposedly cheated with was his best mates daughter and he would have murdered him) turns out she was cheating and also verbally/mentally abusing my older sister, calling her fat and ugly etc. (she was not, apparently mum was jealous of how my sister was 'filling out' in her teens)
Yes, there is a reason, a dad is likely to get fat, when the wife is pregnant. She eats more because she needs it. For reasons, I don't know, the dad also eats more. But he doesn't need it.
So, I think your dad took himself and made him and his wife to eat less, because he doesn't want to get fat.
@@HalfEye79 My dad's been a tall lanky fella his whole life. Even now in his 70s, he's got that pudgy beer belly, but everything else about him is stick thin, and he's a guy that lives on a diet of potatoes and ice cream. He wasn't worried about himself getting fat, but my mom, because he's confessed to me before about not finding big girls attractive. :/
@@mireryn9877
Okay, than it was a wrong assumption by me.
I think, with my mother it was a similar case. Not that her teeth were especially bad, but she lost weight throw her pregnancies. Before the pregnancies, she was very overweight, but after she was very skinny. She is it now, too.
I don't know at that point I think formula would've been healthier.
"If I open my mouth, my husband would start scolding me"
That's the first sign that something is VERY WRONG with this man. And OMG, it only gets worse and worse as the story goes on.
The moment your spouse gets so bad that being with your parents is better, it's divorce time.
This should be a cautionary tale, NEVER date NOR marry men who are mama's boys. They come at a package deal with their crazy mothers.
Story #3: that husband is a Mama's boy and never severed the umbilical cord. This is exactly what ruined my parents relationship. My father always sided on his mother and never considered my mom's opinions. Leave him. He obviously doesn't care about you or your feelings, or even your baby!
oh my god i was looking for something like this off the jump, personally my stance to situations where the child aint seperated the umbilical cord from the parent one of two things gotta happen; either shape up or get kicked to the curb the extra seat are reserved for small children not yo trash ass mama or daddy and especially not for adult children like this
Quite the contrary, OP added an update when people started accessing her of depriving him of seeing his son, OP said he's more then welcome to come visit, but he doesn't want to because he despises OP's mom for reasons unknown, it got to a point where OP's SO will only come visit if her mom isn't in the house
@@Josh_the_jester honestly i wouldnt put it past me to believe its cause OP's husband has exhibited this kinda behavior in the past and so she has a low tolerance for it but meh we arent there so we dont know can only really speculate
Story 3: NTA
OP's husband is momma's boy and does not respect his wife. At all.
Either get him to therapy or get a divorce.
She needs to divorce him ASAP. He's so toxic.
Yeah
Why not both?
@@Lunicia_the_crazy_healer Nah those old babies can not be saved or improved. He will always crawl into mommy's arms and need her to care for him.
He is beyond redemption, look how he lashes out for his precious mommy.
The garden story didn't sound like a lie to me, especially the generations-old garden. My husband's grandfather used to feed his whole family and neighborhood from his garden. It's a thing.
It’s a disconnect from more rural places. People facing gentrification rarely are happy to see ages old landmarks be turned into expensive housing for out of state wealthy people.
Yup
Not even rural, though. Husband's grandfather lived in the South Norfolk neighborhood in Chesapeake, VA. Very low income families then and now.
That's what I was thinking. With the fact that the lands are worth it to buy and build a 2 million dollar home on, you have to know the garden in the back has got to be bigger than the dinky thing most people have in their yards. Plus look at how large cities where neighborhoods get together to build a garden in a small vacant lot or on a flat rooftop go. I've noticed if it doesn't fit into R/slash's very narrow view of the world, then he doesn't understand it, or even try to.
I think the only part exaggerated was the importance in the neighborhood and that all other neighbours were equally outraged. She projected that as I sure it is enjoyable to the others but really is her battle. While I would be upset too, she needs to flow and change like a garden does. Plant lower light loving things on the shaded side and the sun loving things in the sunny side.
@story 2
Op is DEFINITELY NOT the butthole. He FELL asleep, not he WENT TO sleep. He's exhausted! No shit he fell asleep! Is it necassarily RESPONSIBLE? no. But that doesn't make him an outright bad father. This man was attempting to spend time with his child, and accidentally fell asleep. Better that than a man that entirely ignores his child!!!
And as long as Baby is asleep on Dad's chest or shoulder, Baby is less likely to move.
That's what I'm thinking! He's literally an exhausted father. I'm willing to bet if it was the mother people would be so sympathetic saying she's such an exhausted mother.
@@Human-kb6xc Yeah, it's just the typical r-slash mother bias. It's /SUPER/ common for him honestly, and very exhausting. I love his content overall, but the theme of "dad needs to man up, dad bad, mom rarely does wrong" is just so dated and tiresome.
The garden story: I didn't have any BS sensors go off. They had a really nice, big garden, and they gave the neighbors access as well. What's odd about that? I do agree that OP probably values the garden most of all, though.
The complete inability to separate the people who built the house from the people who did nothing wrong by moving into it is a major AH trait, IMO. Just in general.
If you buy the house or rent it you support the people who build it. If you buy something made with slave labour you are also partly at fault for slavery, because you support it financially.
I agree, I think Dabny was being a bit overly critical. Just because his garden isn't loved by the community doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. And a tad entitled when he said they could have just bought the property, like dude the vast majority of people don't have the money to "just buy the property". The only thing OP did wrong was conflating the buyers with the developers
@@TheExtremeIRON dabny
Yeah, I would take issue with the land developers here. Anyone caught in the crossfire is an innocent bystander until proven otherwise. Mouthing off at innocents just moving in, definitely an AH score. The rest is understandable anger.
*But it does leave me wondering about the land developer.*
I got startled with the reaction to the story about falling asleep with the baby. One of my favorite pictures of me and my dad is one of him sleeping with me asleep on his chest when I was a baby. Sometimes you're just tired. I didn't realize this was unsafe...
It's not that unsafe. a little over reaction IMHO. Parents have that 6th sense, when they know when to wake up at just the right time before there's an issue. All 4 of my kids are just fine, along with many grandbabies that have fallen asleep, right along with me on the couch.
The risks of sleeping with sleeping Baby on furniture: Falling, Smothering, and Overheating. These can all be prevented by keeping Baby on chest with arms wrapped around Baby or on shoulder with arms wrapped around Baby, maintaining skin to skin contact, and limiting clothing and blankets on Baby. Put padding on floor in case baby falls. Have a second person in room in case parent doesn't wake up when Baby moves and shifts position to below chest level. Set a 15 minute rotating alarm to prevent deep sleep.
In bed: Firm Mattress, 1 blanket at waste level and/or behind parent (preferably none), curl around Baby as a protective barrier or get a Nest with mesh lining, small pillow for adult's head (preferably none), pillows on ground in case of fall, and mesh siding for bed to prevent fall.
Overheating is the one risk I could only find in articles that support sleeping with Baby that I don't find in articles that don't support sleeping wih Baby in arms. If there are other risks, I couldn't find them in either proponents or opponents articles.
Same here. The thing is at least whoever took the picture was there to catch you just in case or just take you away from him. I understand that the risks are pretty dangerous. Get the baby to a safe place before you crash, but like I said in another comment, you can't help it sometimes. I don't have kids but I fall asleep without even knowing I fell asleep until I wake up. And I will say I've noticed that if I was doing something before I went to sleep I'm usually still in the same position. That's what your body does is just paralyze it so it don't move around a lot when you're sleeping you get hurt. And I know they've been times I've been holding my game controllers or something like that and I'll wake up still holding them. I feel like your body kind of makes a conscious effort to just keep holding on to stuff if you're holding it even though you're asleep. But anyway, yeah. I feel bad for OP. It's dangerous and luckily nothing happened but it could have. But I don't think they should be getting torn to shreds the way they are
See but the difference there is that someone was with your dad. Someone took that picture and was there to see if he was smothering or about to drop you. Sleeping alone with a baby in the bed or on the couch or on a chair is downright dangerous.
@@dontolbert8973 Oh, but it IS that unsafe. Babies literally DIE from parental negligence like this.
Heartbreaking how so many couples have horrific partners and don’t seem to notice/have to ask if there’s something wrong with themselves for their partner’s behaviour.
Agreed.
I'm not saying that it is the case here, but often those of us who grew up in abusive families end up in abusive romantic relationships. We are not only unable to see how toxic the partner is, we have been taught that the partner's behaviour towards us means partner loves us. It is a huge part of the reason that people get stuck in situations of 'domestic abuse' because for us the abuse feels 'normal' and 'loving'.
Sometimes it takes a big event, like MIL and husband ganging up on exhausted breast-feeding wife, for the person to even begin to think that something isn't right. I hope always at that stage the trapped person is able to get help and support not just to leave the toxic relationship but also to learn healthier relationship patterns.
Story 4: If you know that your relative, SO, etc. is running late, save some food for them, and if you forgot, just go get food for them. It seems that both the Husband and MIL don't really respect OP and are controlling, not wanting OP to leave the house and stay with them forever.
Hopefully Op sees the light with these comments and learns that bratty Mama's boys don't make for good husbands and fathers and entitled Karen's also don't make for good mil's and grandmother's.
She is just their baby maker.
That'd be story 3 though.
OP added three updates and apparently OP's SO hates her mom for reasons unknown, and she stated that he's more then welcome to visit his son, but he just hates OP mom for some reason, and OP is in the process of getting the rest of her and her sons personal affects to her mom's house, some in the post claimed unfaithful, but I agree that you shouldn't have to live in a house where your MIL is a toxic narcissist, and your SO is an unsupportive mama's boy
The 3 story, not only the husband isn’t just super toxic he’s a mommas boy. I know when you’re a guy you’re supposed to take care of your mom and SO but you’re SO is the most important woman in your life take care of her
Even ignoring the whole "not leaving food for your nursing wife", MIL's a guest at their house and blatantly disrespects OP, while not really helping out and her husband is an enabler. That's enough in itself for them to be the AHs.
The husband just defends her behavior because he is just too lazy to help out. Take note that he "scolded" OP for calling the MIL out, it's not a stretch to say that he is abusive and controlling too.
Both of them can get the hell out of the house with attitudes like that! MIL and her stupid son should be ashamed of themselves!
I have nothing against Mama's boys; just the really bratty and toxic ones that were probably never told the word "no". I'm sure Op signed up to raise one baby not two babies (one of them happens to be a grown man) and stingy old hag.
A mother is more important than a wife
Story 5: The neighbors did nothing wrong. All they did was just move in. The developers on the other hand built a house that blocked half the sunlight to OP's garden. OP seems to be so angry over the loss of sunlight that they are taking their anger out on innocent neighbors and most likely badmouthed them to everyone else.
Op is being a huge asshole by blaming the wrong person over a shadow.
That's my take. All the new neighbors did was buy a what they thought was a nice house in a what they thought was a nice neighborhood.
I dunno, it's giving me strong gentrification vibes. In which case, I don't care for the new neighbors. 🤷
@@turrboenvy4612 exactly they couldnt go around every good neighbour hood to meet their holy ORACLE and listen to their prophecies and the things that the neighbour-hood cares about so as to make sure that they wouldnt piss of the people over there, bs
The thing is, there has to be demand for that. The neighbors do fuel some level of demand for buying properties and destroying the neighborhood.
Although they didn't do anything wrong on the surface, the developers wouldn't do what they did if it weren't for the neighbors.
It is gentrification, and it is destructive so some communities, as it screws up costs of living, which is a more long term problem, and there is a huge change in culture as things shift dramatically, which although isnt necessarily bad on its own, it depends on how the culture shifts. If its a gradual "hey this is different but cool" then thats fine. But if its assertive to a point of being over whelping. Not everyone is willing to accept that. Especially if its 2 mil home type culture.
Story 2: the MIL should get at least 4 as a score. She had at least one baby, so she is KNOWINGLY and MALICIOUSLY treating the OP like crap.
And I doubt regretting it for a second
The last story reeks of venom. Op is literally bullying these innocent neighbours who's "crime" was moving into a house OP despises. They didn't build the house, they didn't ask for it to be made in a way that blocks OP's garden from sunlight. Yet OP has the audacity to verbally attack them when they ask about it and then keep badmouthing them to other neighbours.
What "research" were they supposed to do? Does "is this house blocking the sunlight on a community garden that is very sentimental to one person" turn up any results?
@@turrboenvy4612 there would be records if the neighborhood really tried to fight its building. Beyond that nothing
I mean to be fair they might have bought the property and orchestrated the development of that house, but yeah, I think op needs to take a chill pill on this especially with badmouthing them to the neighbors. If the neighbors all feel the same already then it is what it is, they aren't ahs either.
I couldn't agree more. As someone who loves gardens and gardening. I'd be really sad if something like in the story happened. But it isn't the new neighbours who bought the lot and built the house. They've no fault in this, and don't deserve being met with unfriendlyness like that.
@@jasonwethy8360 This might be true, but if it’s in the US, that info is likely only attainable through a stupid amount of FOIA requests that could take years. Especially if the real estate company was well connected to the local government.
I"m a man so I never breast fed obviously, but not leaving me any dinner?! I would cut these people out of my life
Yeah, exactly, even if she wasn't breastfeeding and was just stuck doing work or whatever, it's tacky.
its 2022. mEn cAn BrEaStFeEd, your being TrAnSpHoBiC! REEEEEE
Third Story: DEAR GOSH, that husband is toxic as hell. I would divorce him without a doubt. Good god, both OPs husband and his mom are bloody psychopaths.
Story 2: ESH, the wife should KNOW that if he has such a work schedule, and is soo tired, that she shouldnt leave the house to hang out with her friends. When my wife couldnt get proper sleep when our child was first born, I canceled all my appointments with my friends to make sure SHE could get sleep at certain moments, that otherwise would not have been possible. You DO NOT leave your partner alone when you are seeing your partner is clearly overwhelmed!
After I started to working again, and I had to shell in extra time, she canceled her appointments to make sure that I could catch sleep on my off-days! Dear lord!
fr also i dont think the father knew about that thing with sleeping babies so i feel like its not his fault, sometimes after work I tend to just pass out doing some things around the house and you cant really help it I kinda feel like the 3/5 was a bit much
Agreed, I think the mother deserves the same score or worse for deciding that her girl's day out (don't even get me started...) was more important than her spouse getting the sleep he needed to keep them in the black. Welcome to parenthood, lady!
@@WhitShiro yes exactly
I feel like it’s more of a mistake not like it was on purpose if he know which it seems he didn’t then yea maybe 2/5
At most
2nd story - in the 50s/60s my mother worked for her ob/gyn. All of us were born by c-section which was a minimum 5 day stay. It was not uncommon for my mom to fall asleep while we slept on her chest after feeding with her arms around us. More than once roommates would call the nurse worried she would drop us. The nurses would assure them that she wouldn't and to prove it the nurse would attempt to lift the baby off her chest. Her arms tightened enough making it impossible. The nurse would then say "Joanne it's time for the babies to go back now." My mom's arms would loosen enough for the nurse to lift us off. My mom never woke up during these "tests."
And don't go to Asian & Eastern European countries where co-sleeping is the norm rather than the exception.
I slept with all 3 of my children at some point when they were babies as well as my grandchildren. I've never not woken up when they moved, dropped or rolled over on them.
The last story literally is:
“You took everything from me.”
“I don’t even know who you are.”
About the last story, it's actually really common to have stuff like that in the neighborhoods, especially big family neighborhoods. My neighbor had a massive garden that turned into a community project for all the kids to come and work on, and we had a lot of fun. The parents would chat in the backyard while the kids ran around the garden and learned how to tend to plants. It might sound weird, but neighborhood gardens are fairly common. I'd be pissed if someone built a boxy house that blocked out most of the garden there.
story 3: I'm wondering if the husband had previously exhibited such behaviors before they got married because there's no way he started acting like that right after the baby was born right?
some people do wait until they are certain that their SO is "trapped" with them before showing their true colors.
My brother-in-law bought the house next door to his mother. Every night he would come over to her house and she would cook him dinner. She even cut meat into small pieces for him like he was a toddler. When he got married, he was looking for the same treatment. His wife left him a few years later. In later years, my MIL moved in with my family. We had to be really careful with how she interacted with my son because she was trying to do the same thing with him. It was fairly obvious and even his sisters noticed how grandma treated him like the little prince.
Youd be suprised how men get after pregnancy. Its weird asf. My wonderful loyal husband turned into a completely self centered selfish asshole and literally attempted to cheat on me and was doing cocaine with his friends in the basement while I suffered with the baby. It blew my mind that he was even capable of doing that
I was read the 3 update OP added and she made it vary clear that her husband is more then welcome to visit his son at her mom's house, but he doesn't wanna do that because he apparently despises her mom (the irony) and dictates that he'll only visit if her mom isn't in the house, and OP refuses to kick her mom out of her own house, and is currently in the process of getting the rest of her and her son's things out of that awful house hold
@@Josh_the_jester omg? Thank you for the update. Wow what a garbage man. I hope OP is able to safely get out there and that relationship cuz that sounds like it's more trouble than it's worth. I can't imagine what she must be going through. I'm glad she at least has her mom by her side.
guess im the asshole, my daughter slept with me multiple times like that. sometimes you cant help where you fall asleep.
Just need to mitigate the risks. Have a responsible party in the same room when you do and it should be ok
Second story: I think you are being too harsh Rslash. It wasn't exactly on purpose. I know this stories kinda get you hard, but OP didn't intend on falling asleep when the baby fell asleep. It doesn't take out that what OP did was dangerous, but he didn't intend it to happen.
I agree plus mans sleep deprived ac working extra shifts and not sleeping cause the baby love his channel but he misses the mark a bit also I doubt he knows that sleeping with a babies dangerous quite alot don’t know
Did anyone else notice that rSlash called OP a women, when the text clearly says male? ("I [m27]")
ye this one kind of bugged me. If she did the same he blame the husband. OP tired, it happens.
That’s exactly what I was thinking. I was just a bit too worried to post a comment lol. I’m not saying what OP did was the best thing ever. While OP could’ve found a better spot for his daughter, he obviously (from the sounds of the post anyways) didn’t intend to fall asleep with her. All of us have had that moment, at least once, where you’re tired and don’t always think right. Also, OP’s wife most likely knew that OP was exhausted and left him and their baby alone in a house. Idk if it’s just me, but if I had a baby and my partner was that exhausted, bro I’d be too anxious to leave them home alone.
100% agree. Especially with a new parent who's just starting to figure things out.
Story5 : It really makes me think that based on the way OP spoke to the neighbours, OP wanted to sound like a hero and come and tell that story on reddit (FINALLY a way to get his karma up), because it doesnt make sense at all to shun someone who didnt have a slight clue of what happened / or what couldve been the consequence of that property being built there, plus it also sounds like OP is just being Spiteful towards them because its a "2 Million Dollar" Home.
It’s not that , the op has every right to be mad . But the main reason everyone is shunning them is because of gentrification. Which is what’s happening here . The neighbors are willingly taking part in it .
Well, with these two million dollar homes being built in what sounds like a regular neighborhood living expenses are going to skyrocket. These people won't be able to afford living there, they'll have to sell and move which sucks. And then more two million dollar houses will be built. And more people will be forced out.
It'll keep going until that neighborhood is gone and it's a bunch of mansions and all those families displaced. So yeah, it does suck andi can't blame the OP for being angry. It's only a matter of time until they get priced out, have to sell, and try to find someplace else to live.
Why shouldn't thay. The neighbors are participating in a fucked system. Thay should be shamed. Soon people how work normal jobs won't be able to afford to move there because of people like them. We can't go after the realtors city's can make money off them so thay won't do shit. Its up to people like op to show them there not welcome. That's the only way to hurt a realtors pockets.
@@izraelburgess937 idk I don't get the sense the neighbors are rich and tbh for me at least OP comes off as someone that believes everything is about her ( which it isn't) i wouldn't say OP is 100% entitled but she sure sounds like someone that thinks everything revolves around her.
also OP is more angry about house blocking the sunlight then anything else and I'm pretty sure if the other neightbors are shuning them it's more then likely cuz OP is badmouthing them. but that's my take on it
@@YuriKaroki19 They (two young 20-somethings!) move across state lines in to a newly built McMansion and you "don't get the sense that they're rich"? These kids obviously have generational money.
The OP in the last story sounds like a massive Karen. Actually their behaviour reminds me of the middle aged/elderly people in our village. We moved here from a city that's nearby because we wanted a family house and we kinda expected that the people here will be the same or very similar to people from the city. Those two locations are 3km from each other. Oh boy, how we were wrong. Village people despise anything new. They think that just because something used to be certain way it'll stay that way forever because "it's for the best". When we expressed our desire to put fence around our garden our new neighbours were so mad that they can't go to our garden anymore to pick whatever they wanted. Like excuse you, it's not our problem that you can't steal here anymore.
Yeah, OP is definitely in the wrong here, but I can slightly understand the anger. Gentrification is a massive issue around the U.S. (not 100% sure about other countries), and it's really tragic imo. Even still, that doesn't justify OP's actions.
Although yes OP seems like a "not in my backyard" type, I also get it. I lived in a city where things were, all things considering affordable and people got along. But then some houses started being destroyed for condos, large houses, you name it. Next thing you know things changed so much purly because rich developers and rich people buying these properties changed so much that it wasn't recognizable, and changed for the worse.
Like, im absolutely fine if some places change for the better, say converting 8 lane highways into 2 or 4 lane car highways, bus highways and train rails. It ends up functioning better.
And even with certain neighborhoods, a mix of apartment buildings, duplexes, mixed zoning works far better.
But, the changes to the neighborhood op described seemed to be gentrification type changes, which are almost always harmful. Yes OP is a bit of a NIMBY. But, id probably feel the same myself, especially if those developments have nothing good to offer for the neighborhood.
I agree. She sounds like a Karen. I’d say middle to upper middle class neighbourhood. It doesn’t have to be new for that, large backyard where most new homes have small ones, good school district, amenities like a city park or close to shopping, mature trees. You’ll see older homes basically falling apart next to newer houses (40-50 years not 70), next to something build or remodelled in the last yen years in neighbourhoods like that. Especially since they said the neighbourhood was affluent. That’s not a place undergoing gentrification. Just like a Karen lies about being hit in a grocery store, no way she’s being honest about the cost of the house or how much of neighbourhood treasure her garden is.
It’s the way she talks that gives it away. The conversational 180 to look at my garden while the couple was asking why people aren’t very friendly, then temper tantrum about how it’s a neighbourhood treasure and everyone hate them for blocking the sun of her garden. Talk about main character syndrome
OP's answer to demanding an apology should've been "sure, I'll apologize, mom... after you apologize to ME the amount of times you called me a sugar baby."
OK... I feel weird about the 3 out of 5 score for the second story. Yes, it was dangerous, and I agree that he needed to be more careful. The mom was justifiably worried. But 3/5 sounds like he was fine with doing this. It sounded more like he was confused about why he'd get so much flak when he didn't *mean* to fall asleep when it happened. It sounds like it was an accident, not "Meh, she'll be fine. Zzzz" Again, he's the antagonist; I get that... But I think he is more thrown off by how angry the mom was.
Lemme try this... If hypothetically I came home to find my gf caring for an infant in her lap, sound asleep, I wouldn't presume that she did it on purpose. I'd immediately grab the baby and assume she just couldn't help falling asleep from being exhausted that day. Would she be the antagonist? Yeah, I guess. I'd freak out, for sure, and I'd insist that she find a better way to watch the kid. But 3/5? Ida know about that. What do you think? 🤔
I partially agree with you. I have my husband watch and sleep with my 7 month old on the couch since infancy. When he just dozes, I just check to make sure baby's still breathing every 15 minutes amd get back to work cleaning the house. If not for him, I'm stuck on the couch with Baby since she hates being out down, especially to sleep.
ok so for story 2: when i was a baby big enough to crawl around but not enough to stand and walk, my dad fell asleep while watching me and i crawled out onto the balcony and there were big gaps between the bars. it definitely couldve ended worse clearly nothing happened and i dont hold it against him just be careful of your surroundings if you fall asleep while watching babies xD
The garden story, op is the AH. They didn’t build things to cover the garden and really it’s their property and didn’t know any better. I didn’t realize “researching” a neighborhood was an expectation???
Yeah, all they did was buy a house. It's not like they build the house.
yeah, i didn't think that when researching a neighborhood people needed to look in depth on the history of their maybe neighbors. 🙄
@@tamsel814 exactly
@@abiean222 I certainly would not look into what was on the plot of land previous to the house in intending to buy. Well unless I had suspiscions it was a graveyard or a serial killers home.
@@abiean222 let me crack open this book called “the history of OPs garden” that I found in my local library in a different state!
9:45 yep. My older sister had her teeth crumble and fall out because she couldn't keep anything down during her pregnancy. She was calcium deprived.
Wow, for real? I feel terrible for your sister, that must've been horrid
The second story, I don't quite see the issue because I was a clingy baby and slept in my parents bed, in his arm, he always slept on his back. When my mom first had me in the hospital I wouldn't sleep unless I was being held, and she would doze off when I was in her arms, my dad was there the whole time and so were nurses. I think your giving him to much of an a-hole score because of that.
Agreed
I'm guessing because of the dangers. There's tons of times where if you do sleep with baby you'll be fine but sometimes they can get really hurt. Can overheat or get crushed. Basically in some cases it's life threatening and rslash just had a baby so that must be clouding his judgement.
@@bryn1063 I agree with you on the dangers. There are preventative measures a parent sleeping with a baby alone can take. Baby stays on chest or shoulder. 15 minute repeating alarm to keep you awake. Padding on floor just in case baby falls (I use pillows. I also wake up whenever baby moves). Skin to skin contact (shirts and baby clothes off) with a blanket that goes no higher than Baby's waist (or wearable blanket). Mesh sided Baby nest secured to couch. Boppy-type arm rest "thingy" to support your arms while holding baby.
I prefer when I have someone with me but sometimes it can't be helped since Baby wakes up with slightest noise and movement. Got a Snoo to help Baby sleep in younger years.
@@iyaayas I think this is a great idea! The person being with you is a nice touch so that way there will be no way of injury. But sadly tho in this situation one wrong move and the baby could of been injured. I'm glad that didn't happen but with this tip it'll probably never happen again. So I'll save this when I have my own kids. Thank you!
@@bryn1063 Absolutely! Thanks for recognizing the ideal situation and actions don't always happen. Awareness of the risks and options is the key when the ideal doesn't occur.
I figure OPin the last story is just taking anger out on the neighbours. It means a lot to them, but doesn't mean as much to others.
Husbands like the one in story 3 make me mad. Marriage is meant to be teamwork. Having a little baby means a lot of extra work, and it's the husband's duty to shoulder at least some of it. Usually, the mother cares for the baby, and the husband cares for the mother. If he fails so miserably and then makes a big scene about it... it does not bode well.
yeah that last story, it feels like OP is puffing themselves up to make it sound like the garden is a bigger loss than it really is, and I would go as far as saying it's mainly OP who has a problem with these new guys instead of everyone in the neighborhood
Story 3: NTA; just cooking isn't helping out when the MIL is causing OP unnecessary stress so soon after giving birth, and frankly, I pity OP having a husband like this who doesn't care about how his wife feels over his mother.
The one about the baby. If so many parents don’t know the risk it seems like they aren’t being taught or helping each other. Awareness for this needs to be made more available, IMO.
All the information is out there, what with Google and other social media platforms. People just don't do research.
I used to fall asleep nursing my daughter at night. It was never intentional to fall asleep but it was due to exhaustion from recovering from childbirth and caring for my older children during the day.
@@evanperlman8495 Yeah.....a surface search of Google says, "Don't sleep with baby on bed because baby could fall, be smothered by parent, pillows, blanket, or soft mattress." Each of those things can be avoided by using a small pillow for Parent's head, keeping blanket behind parent and no higher than the waist, sleeping in the middle of the bed, putting up a mesh barrier, using a baby nest with mesh sides, or having a firm mattress for parent's bed. The risk is reduced when Mom is breastfeeding successfully.
Sleeping on recliner or couch: "Falling or Smothering." Put padding on ground to prevent injury in case of fall. Keep Baby's head above the couch cushions by holding baby to chest or on shoulder. Have an alert person in same room as sleeping adult holding a sleeping baby or have a rotating 15 minute alarm set to prevent deep sleep.
I had to do a couple hours worth of digging to find an article supporting safe co-sleeping on the same bed with baby. That was the only article that mentioned the risk of overheating the baby. All the other articles that said, "Don't do it at all because Baby might suffocate or fall" never once mentioned the risk of overheating. Shutting down the conversation completely won't stop people from sleeping with Baby. It only puts them into hiding because they think they've assessed all risks and did everything possible to prevent Baby from getting hurt while sleeping with Baby.
Reality is, people will sleep with their Baby for their own reasons. Yelling and shaming only puts them in hiding and completely closes off the conversation. People like you think you've saved lives and pat yourself on your back but in reality, it just puts more lives at risk.
You sound like the "Abstinence Only" crowd on the topic of Sexual Education and what should be taught in public schools.
I agree with this more parents should know also I kinda can’t blame the guy the post says he hasn’t had like any sleep and for all we know he basically just passed out
TBH yes they need to know but the wife should have seen how tired OP was instead of going out with her friends. OP said he hasn't really slept due to the baby's feeding times so my question is. Is the wife helping with the baby? Im just saying. Ive seen people do it all the times. Yes he should of put his baby in a safe spot to sleep but who is thinking when running on no sleep
Third story: OP should divorce her crappy husband, file for full custody of her son, and get a restraining order for him, his hellish excuse of a mother and any other member of his family. He and his mother are straight up psychopaths.
1000% facts
@@thetruth1816 User name tracks
Your husband should divorce you
@@IamtheSpy2005 what ??
@@thetruth1816 what.
I fell asleep one time with my daughter laying on my chest while we were in a recliner.
I was BEYOND scared when I woke up and started checking her. Luckily I was only asleep for 5 minutes and my mom was there and lightly shook me awake when she realized I had dozed off. I started chugging coffee and all forms of caffeine after that
Yeah, that must have been scary for you. Glad you have help!
Difference is you mom gently woke you up and didn't start screaming at you and presumably waking the baby
It's not just dropping or suffocating risks. Overheating risks are also present. It's so much easier to sleep with baby while in recliner. If you have someone in the room with you while you sleep who agrees to monitor you, you can mitigate the risk of dropping or suffocation. Just don't overdress Baby too much.
Good ending yay
But don’t fall asleep with your child in your arms people really need to learn that op isn’t a huge a hole but I’d say learn from that situation and put the kid in their crib next time
In the first story OP says "showers them with gifs" and call I can imagine is the boyfriend printing out memes on paper confetti and throwing it over her.
Story 2: I disagree with R Slash. There will always be risks with anything involving infants and injury and death are likely in any scenerio. Throughout my now 7 month old baby's life, whenever I put Baby down after B falls asleep, B will wake up and cry. Any movement will wake B up and B will not return to sleep.
In the younger months, I would ask someone in the house with me to be alert that I'm falling asleep on the couch with sleeping B in my arms. It was the only way I could get any rest. I discovered that when B moved, I would instinctually wake up every time.
Now that B is older, I feel more comfortable taking naps with B on couch. It's a matter of positioning, support, and temperature regulation (avoid overheating B.....the other hazard). Never once dropped B and I always wake up in the same position.
These warnings have made me paranoid as I analyze the risks and hazards. If Baby is fine while I'm aware and won't suddenly stop breathing while I'm fully alert hold B in same position and circumstances, what will stop B from breathing if I doze off holding B in same position the whole time. Instead of just saying no, discuss all the risks. When the listed risks are mitigated, discuss the other risks. The only one I'm most concerned about is baby overheating to the point of non-responsiveness.
Seriously, new mom thinks she's entitled to a girl's day out and to Hell with her husband getting enough sleep to function? Not a criticism, but a cold, hard statement: Some people aren't ready for parenthood and it smacks them hard.
Might I add the wife was able to go out all day and have fun the argument she could be sleep deprived kinda goes out the window also kids priority one don’t leave it with your husband who hasn’t slept
The only time I have fallen asleep with a baby on my chest, I was 15 and helping out in the nursery at my church. I was sitting in a rocking chair with the only baby we had at the time, we were situated very comfortably and I dozed off.
Thankfully, the older lady I was in there with was there to keep an eye on us and make sure we were both okay. Not sure why she didn’t wake me, but the baby and I had a nice nap.
probably cause if she did the baby might wake up
Also, she watched you both resting peacefully. She was there to catch Baby if Baby fell or was about to get stuck.
@@iyaayas yeah and there was nobody there with op. Still the mother shouldn't have been screaming at him and instead explain calmly why it's a bad idea. Also she left a baby with a sleepy person what did she expect?
Seriously, the mom shouldn't have "went out for the day with friends" in the first place if her spouse is exhausted from working extended shifts and not getting enough sleep on top of that. I'm not saying she doesn't deserve some downtime, but welcome to being a parent.
@@Brigand231 fr and the fact that R/slash ignored what OP said yet the mom didn’t even help out
I don’t think the sleeping one is his fault if he fell asleep on accident. He sounds like he needs more naps
Yeah, it's not like he's tired from working extended shifts and his wife just went out for the day with friends, leaving her exhausted spouse alone with the kid... oh wait, that's exactly what happened.
@@Brigand231 exactly and he also doesn’t seem to know that babies sleeping with parents is a no no
@@cvrriculum1322 so he wasn’t tired as heck and not thinking clearly due to lack of sleep and did it outta malice?
@@bibigamer502 ? No he def was tired
@@cvrriculum1322 ya he was
Personally I believe the garden one. My childhood home was in a neighborhood of small-medium sized houses from the 1950s. The lot next to my childhood home was forested. The lot was owned partially by the town, partially by us, and partially by the neighbors. We had a treehouse with swings, and a garden that my mom spent years cultivating between the forested area and our house. Because of the treehouse and garden and forested area, our house was THE spot for neighborhood parties. All the neighborhood kids would come and play in the treehouse and the trees. Eventually someone bought the land that was owned by the town and cut down every tree(including the treehouse tree that was technically on our property) and destroyed the garden in the process of leveling the property to build a bigass house. The exact same thing happened when the owners of the house moved in. Everyone hated them, not only because a lot of the neighborhood enjoyed that forested area and garden space, but because we were devastated and everyone felt for us and the pieces of our property that were destroyed. I 100% believe that story and op is definitely not the butthole. Harsh, but not the butthole.
I should add what happened to my childhood property was illegal, they trespassed to cut down trees and level ground that wasn’t on their property. It doesn’t sound like anything illegal happened to op but it’s still just as devastating.
I fell asleep nursing my babies. With twins I couldn’t help it.
I did too at night, often.
I did the same with my only baby. I had to dig hard for the research because all the "rules" say, "No....not at all. It's not worth the risk" without telling you exactly what all the risks are and how to mitigate them.
Baby might fall? Ok, I'll put a barrier in place or sleep in the middle of the bed to prevent falling.
Baby gets stuck in between couch/chair cushions? Ok, I'll keep baby up above the couch cushions if I find myself dozing, set a 15 minute rotating alarm, and/or have someone in the room with me to make sure Baby and I are safe (I choose 2 things in this list). I can even use a baby nest and secure it on the couch next to me.
Baby might get smothered by me while nursing? Non-sense. I curl up and form a protective barrier and position to prevent me from rolling onto baby. It's comfortable enough to doze but too uncomfortable to go dead asleep and lose all awareness. I eventually want to move and when I do, I put baby back in bassinet and go back to sleep.
Smothered by pillow or soft adult bed? Use minature pillow just big enough for the head. My Sleep Number is set to 70 to have a firm surface for baby. Blanket goes below my waste and a chunk of it is bunched behind me for comfort.
The hazard I never heard of (until my research) is overheating. If you put too many clothes on baby to keep B warm, B might overheat to the point of not waking up and dying or suffering major brain injury. I'm sure other hazards exist that I'm not aware of but shutting the conversation down without full discussion doesn't stop people from sleeping while holding their sleeping Baby(ies).
Actually yea you could the safety of your children should override and push you to make them safe before you fall asleep you absolutely could you could have killed them
Same here
Apparently that doesn't matter and you're a terrible parent according to this channel unless his comments are meant to be sexist and just aimed at men.
Not really. I don't get how people can judge a parent for being exhausted with a newborn. Just about every single parent has had this happen. Especially those with twins.
On the 3rd story, this is a giant red flag, he doesn't help out with the baby, let's him and his mom walk all over his wife, and then is mad when she just wants some space for the night. Something is definitely off her and I personally would be planning a divorce
Seasonal depression has been kicking my ass, but having your videos everyday helps me keep on some type of routine and always cheers me up as I get ready for my day, thanks a lot!
Sending Hugs
Feel you summer was a load of shit for me
Mine hasn’t gotten too bad yet try taking victim D it’s helped me in the past, just want to help someone with the same struggle
Yeah, unless she had some million dollar garden with elegant topiaries, a fountain, humming birds frolicking, and a koi pond I don't believe the last story either. I think she's projecting.
I'm having a hard time visualizing the problem that OP is having. My neighborhood is filled with three story homes and my garden is to the north of these homes. I don't have any problems due to shade.
Years ago a couple I knew bought the vacant lot next to theirs and fenced it as an extension of their back yard. No construction next door. No neighbors on that side. Huge back yard for the pets. Great resale value when the time came.
I seriously hope I'm never in a situation like story 3. Hopefully I'd end up snapping and telling him to go marry his mother.
The story with the baby sleeping on husband’s chest. Looks like posters are forgetting the mom LEFT him alone,knowing he’s tired and worn down due to him overworking but still goes out with friends. The mom gets a 4/5 asshole score alone for that.
Agreed
Disagree. Both parents are overly tired and worn down. They are in the same situation. It's about giving each other rest times where you can recharge your batteries.
IMO neither get AH scores.
@@heart.9889 that argument could be disproved because she went for like all day out with friends and had fun idk anyone who does that when they’re sleep deprived
@@cvrriculum1322 i don't think it's possible Not to be sleep deprived an exhausted when you care for a young baby.
Also, I don't have kids but spending time outside the house with people my age is very much something that recharges my batteries, personally. And it's not like she went partying and drinking, it sounds more like a brunch situation to me.
@@heart.9889 who knows but I do see you can be re charged
Christ 3rd story makes me just appreciate my husband even more than I already do. He made every single meal for me the first 3 weeks of our son's life, the reason he didn't longer was because that's how long his paternity leave was.
good morning rslash im horribly hungover but ur video being uploaded at 9 a.m on schedule as always makes it better
Someone goes hard on a Tuesday lol hope you had a good night at least 😂
Third story: OP is NTA. She's literally been doing all the heavy lifting in regards to handling their newborn. If her MIL wasn't willing to save food for her, her husband should have done so proactively. Her husband is also TA for defending his mother. He's going to lose her and his newborn for good once OP decides to divorce. The edits clarify that OP's husband is allowed to come to her mother's house to see the baby, but he simply refuses to do so. This matter is even more complicated because her husband is a police officer, so who knows how far this will escalate as there is an extremely high rate of domestic violence among cops. I just hope she's safe.
Story 1: NTA; for the mom to not see that they have similar situations and she has been demeaning her daughter the whole time.
🤣
Rslash going off on Husband / Dad rants is always so much fun to listen to. I just picture him sitting up straighter in his chair as he's filled with Familial Indignation until moving onto the next bit and slumping back down.
Rslash gives off incel vibes. The dude definitely struggled in high school. He looks like he got bullied as well 😂😂😂
@@TheUnpred1cTable Define Incel
@@TheUnpred1cTable
Do you know the core component that makes one an incel? How does Rslash give you "incel vibes?"
@@luvondarox he even admitted in his last post that his wife watches his content. Thus, he approaches these posts as if he’s being monitored by his wife. Dude is on a leash and his wife controls him LOL
@@TheUnpred1cTable Honestly, dude, that comment makes _you_ sound like the incel. Or some low attempt at "alpha" whatever. That "dude's on a leash, lol" mentality is kind of sad, man. You might wanna check that misogyny a bit.
Story 4 nta I've heard this one. Morale of the story don't marry a mamas boy.
Everyone is technically a mama's boy or girl.
@@songohan3321 if they're like this? Clearly they don't need a partner, they just need their mama.
So second story sounds like op works and takes care of the 7 month while wife does as she pleases. True it is dangerous to sleep with babies but so is allowing someone to become so worn down they fall asleep whether they want to or not. I dont feel like they were intending to doze off to begin with.
Last story:
I can see why OP would be upset that a huge house was erected & blocked sunlight to their garden, because that would suck, but like you said, it's not the new neighbors fault...
It reminds me of when we bought our land....
The guy to our west wanted to buy it, but didn't have the money, but he had all of his hunting stuff here.
Feeder, blinds, etc...
When we moved in & started building, he came over to brag about almost dropping a 14 point buck "right where you park your cars"..... Cool....
Now he treats us like crap because we weren't interested & wouldn't let him keep his stuff here.
He's even shot my dog from his property while my dog was in my yard.
Glad he's a bad shot because my dog is family.
See the issue here isn’t just the garden , the garden is the symbol . The issue is gentrification. That’s the subtext of the story . So while yeah , the garden might not be a big deal and it’s not the new neighbors fault. They are still supporting gentrification which will harm the lives of the people who live in that area
the neighbors also tried to blame op for having their garden there like it wasn't there before their house
When my youngest daughter was three weeks old she developed a terrible cold. I took her to the doctor and she was prescribed medication. I had to sleep on the recliner for three nights with my baby on my chest so she could breath better.
Your second story is wrong. You can sleep with a newborn in your arms or on your chest as long as you’re in a safe place because it’s proven safe. used to do it all the time when my nephew was a baby
The second story reminds me of my dad. When I was a baby my dad fell asleep on the couch with me on his belly. Well apparently I woke up and managed to roll off him and to the flood. But he woke just as I was falling so he saw me tumble to the ground. He felt awful about it but i was completely fine, just upset
There's a simple solution to sleeping with a child on your chest. You talk to your wife and ask if you can get either of their parents or hire a sitter for a day or two and let OP catch up on some sleep because it would be rude to let his wife watch the child all day and not get to do anything for herself or get sleep but it's just as unsafe to let a sleep deprived person watch a child. Any other number of things could happen while OP is lacking sleep.
Agreed. I have a 5 year old cousin that stays with me half the time and even if I'm tired I'll get our grand father to look after her for me to nap. I work very stupid hours and suffer from insomnia so my sleep pattern is extreamly wonky. Ops wife in that story should have handled that situation better because a sleep deprived person will fall asleep the minute they get comfortable. I know it happens to me. OP is only a mild idiot but that's unavoidable with sleep deprivation.
rSlash, the garden probably provided a lot of food for the people, and was a good opportunity to teach kids about gardening. If it's one that's been there for decades (the garden not the plants) and is an activity a lot people enjoyed, than yes they'd be bummed if something like this happened.
Yes their beef should be with the developers not the owners.
In regards to the second story, the OP is definitely NTA! he fell asleep with his SEVEN MONTH OLD daughter laying on him! not seven weeks, but seven MONTHS! after month 2, they aren't considered newborns at that point. anyone who thinks OP is TA needs to go back and reread the part where he clearly states SEVEN MONTHS. at that stage, she's already learning how to hold her head up on her own and sit up (with help).
Baby can even move around enough to wake a sleeping parent. My now 7 month old has been doing it since 4 months (I have other risk managment things in place like a second adult in the same room or repeating 15 minute alarm).
I wonder if the people in the last story are pissed about the type of house that was built. I know that in my city there are neighborhoods filled with beautiful old homes that have been kept in pristine condition. When developers bought up older homes tore them down and built massive three level "modern" boxes it completely destroyed the beauty of the neighborhood. I can't afford any of those homes either way but it is sad to be driving through a neighborhood looking at all these classic homes then bam! There's a giant ugly house that stands out like a sore thumb.
Lol at Rslash calling OP a liar though because what? It never occurred to him that some neighbors do actually get together and spend time doing community gardens or something? There are some neighborhoods with multiple generations growing up over the years in the same houses. It's not as strange as he seems to think it is🙄
for that last story, my neighborhood also has a house that has a sizable garden that everyone does love. they throw parties (or threw, before covid and all of that) and let the neighborhood kids play with their chickens. im not sure if op is lying, but even if they are they're still ta, but not because they were lying. or maybe im seeing this wrong, idk, but i wouldn't immediately call op a liar.
The garden isn’t even gone. It’s just getting less sunlight. I feel like OP in the last story is the only person who’s affected by the new home
Op was the AH but i do get where they’re coming from, a lot of plants can die and get sick due to lack of sunlight, especially fruit or vegetable plants, it’s heartbreaking to see ie. a tree that’s been there for generations slowly die because of terrible circumstances, I’ve seen it and it’s just heartbreaking
the neighbors were blaming op for their garden being there like their house was built before the garden and it wasn't everyone sucks
Story 3: I really pity OP, also it wasn’t that OP’s husband ate all the food, it’s implied that MIL threw away leftover food. Why? Spite? She’s got her mommy’s boy toxic ass son to help her, OP needs to kick husband in the nuts and have him shape up or move on
Yah the mum in the first post is definitely being hypocritical. Damn that's crazy young to have a kid I can't even imagine and also how she didn't have help at 15 with a newborn? I highly doubt that.
On another note, y'all stoked for Halloween 🎃
I imagine that OP's mum got help from her parents in raising OP.
Story 3: There's a bunch of edits but it basically goes like this. OP's husband claims that OP is keeping away their son from him by being at OP's mom's house. OP's husband has full access as long as he visits, however he chooses not to because he hates OP's mom, OP clarifies that her husband hates her mom and relatives on her side for no reason. Afterwards, she is feeling a bit sorry for her husband, OP sends some pictures of their son sleeping to him. What does husband do? He basically text her back saying she's a b*tch, berating her left and right and says that she's rubbing it in his face. Her husband sends "revenge" pictures of his mom and him making dinner, trying to rub it in that they're weren't including her. OP decided to get the rest of her stuff. And the final edit so far, OP's husband basically makes a condition that he'll come to OP's mom's house if and only if OP's mom leaves the house for 2 hours. His logic goes that he'll see his son and to have a "talk" as long as OP's mom isn't in the house, OP hasn't answered, and refuses to go with that outrageous condition. Comments tell her to save the text and divorce him, or try to get her to realize how abusive the situation is.
😆😆 revenge photos! He really thinks what he and his mom have together is some hot sh"t
I have a suspicion that Op's side of the family saw through him and warned her about him being crap, but she was deluded by love and thought he would treat her as good as he treats his pos mommy.
Duh why are these momma's boys getting married? They look for a mommy with benefits and a slave. I wish more women would see them as the walking red flags they are.
Maybe the other wife shouldn't be out hanging with friends if her wife is so exhausted she's falling asleep with the vaby in her arms. As someone with two small children AND a sleeping disorder, I feel for that mama.
R/ misread. OP in that story is male and is the one not pulling his weight.
@@Ikajo where did you get that from, i legit went to the post and didnt see anything about that. For reference i mean the pulling his weight bit
@@Ikajo wdym not pulling his weight he is tired from working so long to pay for the child and their expenses
@@Friendlyneighborhoodgarbagebin Just because he's going to traditional work, does not mean he gets to turn off right after he gets home. Housekeeping and child rearing is work as well, and the stay at home parent needs a break as well. Too many working partners think they can just stop when they get home, like their partner isn't just as exhausted.
@@DaniS398 Seems like he was pulling his own weight taking care of the kid while his wife went out to have FUN listen to the story before speaking
If you have a garden and you want to protect it one of the ways to protect it is see if the local nature protection agency can come look at your garden some times there is something near extinction in your garden. One time I read a story about someone who had one of these agencies look at their garden and they found a bird that they thought was extinct and protected the garden fiercely
Fourth story: OP is TA. The neighbors didn't do this to OP's garden, the developers did. They didn't build the house in that way. Furthermore, I get the feeling that OP turned the neighborhood against the new homeowners out of spite.
yeah but the neighbors are blaming op for putting their garden there like op did it after the mansion was built
Last story, you're completely right about OP. I'm having similar discussions with my mom, she's growing all kinds of produce in her garden and always talks about it as if it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. It really isn't, at least to me. It's a bunch of hard work that pays off for her, but not for me. Every time she asks why I'm not having a garden, I tell her that I value my time more than the few veggies I can harvest after all this time and she takes it as personal as if I'd insult her directly.
Both of you sound like you need to understand that something can be meaningless or pointless to you, but important to others and vice versa. Just be happy that she has something joyful in her life, and having a garden doesn’t have to be profitable, it can be something that brings other joy. I don’t want to have a garden either nor am I interested in caring for one, but I see the way my family members that have gardens talk about it as if it’s their pride and joy, and I’m just happy that they are happy and it makes me happy to see them talk with enthusiasm about me starting a garden. The reason she probably pitches you the idea is cause she knows how much joy it brings her and she wants you to be happy.
@@inoghmia8937 Sorry, one sentence was a lot more negative than I intented. I know that she really loves it and it brings her joy, this is great, but it's just not for me. I enjoy crouching over a table, armed with a soldering iron in one hand, solder and flux in the other, a few measuring devices around me and then searchimg for what makes this device not so what it's supposed to do. She doesn't like to do that herself and I totally respect that. The point I tried to make is that some people see their hobnies with rose tinted glasses while they look down on other hobbies and others opinionnon their hobby without considering that they are completely different people.
@@Donnerwamp i get that and youre totally in your right, it just sounded rly hateful in your og comment
How tf are there so many MILs who do not understand that the new mom needs so much extra help? She was literally in that position at least once herself!
So true...my mom lost a lot of weight while she was pregnant with my brother and me (twins). The doctor put her on meat and potatoes to help her put weight on. She lost her teeth because due to lactation for us. This was before they came out with all the pre/post natal vitamins. Her teeth didn't stand a chance against two healthy and hungry full term babies. We stole everything from her.
story 2 let say the wife didnt know that op is sleep deprived then the real problem is that op cant speak what up or she knew it and didnt care wich one of them. the real problem is something else
I work at a infant/child care facility. My boss offers new parents classes on how to care for an infant so they DONT kill their baby. It would shock you how few people know child safety
My mom lost her teeth after having me 🥲 because I snatched up all her calcium and nutrients etc. 😬 - She was only 24 when I was born.
I was 19 when I had my daughter and started losing teeth, I'm now 24 and have had surgeries to remove most all of my teeth....it's honestly nice to be reminded I'm not the only one. I appreciate your mom.
@@rhianawilk315 You are definitely not alone! My sisters teeth are not doing well either, since having my niece. It's honestly crazy how much pregnancy and breastfeeding affects the body!
Women (& moms) are champions! ❤
I’m only 18, but I still have all my teeth. Neve had any children and never will. My lactose intolerant self needs all the calcium I can get 😅
Second story- the husband isn't an asshole, he just needed to know why his wife was going off on him and how dangerous that was.
Actually in the 2nd story the narrator said 27 year old woman, so if the transcription was a mistype, then they are a married lesbian couple.
If they had the kid via surrogate, I’m gonna assume that the wife who yelled was the one who carried the baby for 9 months.
@@abinashmishra329 First line reads, "I (m27) have a 7 month old daughter with my wife (f29)." It's just Rslash misreading.
@@RewindOGTeeHee he’s been reading a lot of posts about lesbian couples, so it’s possible that he misread
Yea I agree he isn't the asshole he works long hours and barely sleeps if your man is tht tired the wife should have canceled going out so he can get alil rest and then if he was good she could have gone our she makes him seem like a monster for falling asleep for being tired I know the baby was in his arms he should have been like let me put her down but when it comes to some infants the slightest move8wakes em up and have them crying like crazy
Hearing Dabney in dad mode is really nice to hear. You just know that Lily is in good hands.
The last story definitely didn't sound like a lie to me. Misplaced rage, maybe. The thing you need to understand about neighborhoods, ones that have been around for a long while, have a community- and with it, a beating heart. It could be a place, a family, a single person. That lifeblood can become a rallying point when unexpected change comes along.
Having a 2 million dollar McMansion suddenly pop up in your neighborhood right on the hearth of your community is definitely one of those rallying points. They lost the fight against the developer, so for a lot of them, the next logical step is to alienate whatever poor sap moves in. Unfair? Absolutely. But it happens in more neighborhoods than you'd expect.
About 20 years ago we had the same kind of thing happen in our neighborhood. We live in a typical 1930's-1950's style suburban ranch-style housing neighborhood. There was a small farm on the edge of the community where this really nice old couple lived their whole lives. They'd been there long before the neighborhood and steadily watched parcels of land get sold off and built on, which didn't really faze them, in fact they embraced the change. They'd have regular parties, welcoming neighbors to their neck of the woods, they held workshops on the weekends teaching neighbors how to grow and harvest crops, care for all manner of livestock, DIY repairs for the home and so on. This family and their home was the heart of our community for decades, everyone loved them.
Then the developers came along. They'd bought up a home immediately bordering the little farm and tore down the house for their eventual McMansion. At the same time, they also started making offers on other houses in the area, including the farm because they saw it as an eyesore that would drive down the property value. When that couple turned down the offer, the developers started using every trick in the book they could to get them out of there. It ranged from "accidentally" crossing over the property line with their construction efforts, to getting city officials involved. Harrassment from the police for noise complaints, lobbying for new ordinances to limit the kinds of animals they could keep, and more.They even tried to start rumours about the couple being less wholesome than they appeared in an effort to poison the community against them. None of this worked of course, but it did leave the entire community with a deep hatred for those developers, and with that McMansion by extension. They had tried to fracture the community, to use whatever sleazeball tactics they could think of to turn our nice little neighborhood into a gentrified, sanitized space that would be safe for their rich, white clientele.
In total, 5 of these McMansions were built, but most of them got a pass. The one that didn't was the one built on the edge of the farm. Everyone hated it because it was a constant reminder of all the turmoil that the community had gone through over the year it spent in construction. Even though it really shouldn't have, it passed on to the new residents as well. Everyone was cordial enough, but most kept their conversation to hellos and goodbyes, and maybe the occasional quip about the weather or sports. There was no welcome to the neighborhood party from the old couple. They didn't bother to invite them to weekend workshops, either, even after they expressed interest. The neighborhood had made it clear in every way besides outright saying so, that they weren't too terribly welcome here. In the end, the couple that bought the McMansion stopped trying. Instead, they'd host their own get togethers for others in their social sphere. Honestly I'm sad they weren't welcomed to the neighborhood, because most of the families here are genuinely kind, wonderful people. A grudge and spite combined with more than a little stubbornness has created a massive rift though, and in 20 years I think it's only gotten wider. At least there's no outright hostility at play, since we mostly just ignore each other.
the 3rd op needs to run and run fast. the husband shows where his true allegiance lies and it's definitely not with op or their baby which should most definitely be a major red flag
That MIL isn't there to help, she's there so she can SAY she helped. As a breastfeeding mother good nutrition, decent sleep and as little stress as possible is all important. OP, stay with your mother, get a divorce, and a therapist. Do not go home while that witch is still taking up residence in your home.
The crazy mil came to take care of her old baby.
The last story is hard. op says the house has been in their family for generations. I think they are more hurt because of the loss of a family Heirloom (the garden). i also risagree with your claiming they are lying, as there are communities that bond over gardens like OP describes. as for your suggestion that they could have bought the lot? Most likely no, they couldn't. There would be no way they could outbid a large real estate firm without putting themselves so far into debt that they'd lose their house eventually.
Story 2: Did she......did she just say that 27 is young....for having a child.....? What?
OP is a guy, it said 27m. But yes, he said 27 is young to have children. The whole post scream of him being a deadweight partner and whining about having to do anything for his wife and baby.
Sleeping with your baby in your arm sitting on a couch... Only in America can it be as dangerous as you make it out to be🤣🤣
LOL! What country you from? I'm in America and do so from time to time but I don't advertise it too publically.
@@iyaayas Norway. We are WAY more liberal with just about anything here compared to the US.
Just about every morning I got up with my kids(3) we'de lie on the couch watching cartoon network og Disney. Many times we both fell asleep. Them on my chest. Never a problem.
@@jonnybjrkhaug9711 Thanks! Would be nice if the US had more civil discourse. I find people prefer to shut others down instead.
2nd story, he's not the butthole
Hey R-slash, theres a telegram bot using your pfp in the comments . There are some younger people that watch your videos that might be tricked by it so I would personally make an announcement about it.
Just thought I'd let you know, love your content!!
Or just block them. Pretty sure that's possible.
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@@Ikajo
Well, that's of course if the channel-owner does any blocking.
Though the "YOutubeSpammerPurge" certainly makes the job a lot less of an hassle
( and can be used by non-owners to report the spam ).
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@@Ikajo yeah that would definitely work too if thats an option
I recommend all three solutions simultaneously. Blocking one bot doesn't stop another.
Reporting them sure does nothing
Story 4: rSlash is probably right about the garden being way more personally treasured than communally. What the rest of the neighborhood is most likely upset about are Mc Mansions (the process of tearing down old homes to put grossly over priced modern homes on the lot) driving up the cost of living via property value. It's gotten so bad in my city that even if you work above minimum wage you can't actually afford even the rent inside city limits or surrounding towns. Obviously this isn't the only factor but even my small condo went from 80k to pushing 300k, which btw is more than what my parents paid for their own 5 bd 3.5 bath home.
I really love this series as a soon to be father from Very dysfunctional family it’s great to hear tips that will keep my baby safe and me out of hot water with the wifey, I didn’t know it wasn’t okay to sleep with a baby that old ,I remember my mother sleeping with my siblings on the couch all the time
Idk Dabney on the second story I wouldn't call OP the AH here. He's overworked and low on sleep. And I know in your case you look at it from the prospective as a new dad yourself but remember. Your workplace is in your house and a support system. It doesn't sound like OP has that or he wouldn't be falling asleep with the baby like that. :/ but that's my opinion.
OP in that story isn't usually caring for his daughter, and he whines about how hard it is to look after her for one day. Not caring for her for one day. Watching her. You don't think the mom is tired? Also, R/ is right. Sleeping with your baby is dangerous. There was a healthcare worker in the comments, top comment, that explained why.
@@Ikajo Where was the whining in his post? He says it's been a struggle since he picks up more hours to support the family and he is having a hard time adjusting to the sleep schedule these things are normal. If that's whining then you are cold hearted and I pity you and your family. People struggle that is when spouses and family stand up and help out. Mom's are not the only ones allowed to struggle this is why men have a hard time expressing their feelings because they are ridiculed for it.
@@CelesteMinerva He is 27 and claims that is too young to have a baby. While his wife is older than him. He doesn't care for his daughter, he is "watching" her the one day his wife wants time to herself and see her friends.
Or do you really think she is doing less work than him? Who do you think has to take care of the home _and_ the baby while he is working? Do you really believe he is the only one experiencing sleep deprivation?
He is whining and unwilling to take legitimate concerns seriously. If he had apologised to his wife, admitted he did something wrong, he wouldn't have been as much of a butthole. Instead, he doubled down and claims his wife overreacted.
@@Ikajo I refuse to argue with someone online. Please find someone else to fuck with today.
@@Ikajo Internet armchair psychologists on their way to call somebody a psychopath becuase they don't smile at dogs :