Stephen Has A Prison Tip For Michael Cohen
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- čas přidán 11. 12. 2018
- Stephen offers Michael Cohen advice on how to make a statement in the prison yard on day one.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. - Zábava
Lol, "Wabbit season, Duck season!", had me rollin', so true!
“DUCK SEASON!! FIRE!!”
Individual 1 is probably Individual 2-ing is pants right about now.
Skill Up lol nice
Skill Up you have a cool channel 👍
When isn't he 2-ing his pants?
It shouldn't be weird seeing channels commenting like this but I always find it...idk interesting
Anyway, love your your Skill Up, or shall I say Shill Up. (Insert Sam clip here)
Depends.
3 Years is Not Enough. Jesus, cannabis smokers are getting life sentences.
Steven- I agree with you!!
@Me Here I am sixty and work every day. Every damned day.
@Me Here You may be regarded as unstable to the average person. As an average person myself, I sense your instability with a side order of leaking insanity. Attack someone whose values you share.
life?
Me Here the only reason health insurance costs more is because they actually have to pay out now instead of denying claims and you just paying for nothing. You should be thanking liberals. But unfortunately your probably too dumb and set in your ways to admit liberals were right.
I really believe we're watching history unfold before our very eyes day by day. I wasn't alive for Watergate, but I wonder how many people felt that way at that time as well. Years from now, we'll look back at all of this stuff, the crimes, the lies, the commentary, the defenses and apologetics, the testimonies, "individual 1". And we'll have all these videos from the media and comedians like Stephen Colbert, all giving their unique perspectives to history unfolding in real time. What a time to be alive.
Years from now?
Here is hoping
A) I may love being alive during this more once it’s over. B) I sincerely hope we all live that long (and not in a radiated wasteland).
@@Joe-xo4yg I like to be optimistic and think we'll all still be around for at least a little while longer. Maybe it's a misplaced optimism with the current people in power ignoring science and whatnot, but I'm not ready to give up yet.
I was a teenager during Watergate. Everyday, the hearings were televised. I’d come home and my mom would be glued to the tv-and she almost never watched tv.
It was as bizarre as things are today. Rosemary Woods, Nixon’s secretary, claimed to have accidentally erased several minutes of a tape from the Oval Office-the crucial minutes that might have proved Nixon ordered the breaking. She had to reenact the circumstances of the erasure and it was clear that no one would have stretched their feet and arms out like that.
When Nixon resigned, I thought the country would collapse, but it didn’t.
My family is from Massachusetts-the only state not to vote for Nixon. (I mentally chuckle when someone from Trump’s team calls his win a landslide. 49 states is a landslide.) Mom had a bumper sticker on her car: Nixon 49, America 1.
@@kaivickers166 Agreed on both counts. Like I said in response to the other person, I try to be optimistic about our future. Me personally, I'm a late 90s kid, I want to see what the rest of the 21st century has in store for us. I want to get old and tell young people about that time Donald Trump was president and people actually took him seriously as a legitimate politician (I assume by this time all of the details of Mueller's investigation will be out, Trump will have been indicted and died in prison, and he'll be ranked as one of if not the worst presidents ever).
The only question that remains is, *_will Donald Trump be charged as an adult?_* 😂😂😂
Good one!
Love it
BWAH hahaha.. indeed.
Ok! That is funny AF! Brilliant.
lMAO Too fing funny
As a child, I took my looney toons quit seriously that today was the first time in my life I laughed out loud a "Rabbit Season, Duck Season!"
Ms. M
I knowwwww lol, the wabbit season duck season sparring match was a perfect analogy... HILARIOUS LMAOff.
If Chohen writes a book in prison I hope he names it “Art of the squeal.”
nice!!! 😂
That Looney Tunes was a classic lol.
Bugs bunny for president
No that's the toons, Looney Toons went to university when younger, Google it.... anyways it's funny for sure... the only store I bought something in the 90s and still have it and wear it! I will like your comment, yep! I like it for real. Cheers from the other side of the Atlantic... overseas if you prefer ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👏👏👏
I remember that one! Was probably a little old when I saw it, but yeah. Classic Bugs Bunny.^^
@@jimix5708
That's fine, but I'm voting for Darth Vader!
It really was is lol
That cartoon hit the nail on the head, in regard to trump!.
Yep! 🤣🤣
@@WorldOfARandomVegan And @rhonda sampson, it totally fits into my idea that tRump needs to go for 'Deadeye' Dick Cheney as his new Chief of Staff! Imagine the fun hunting trips!! #CheneyforCOS!
Trump 2020 vote
Stephen is our only glimmer of hope in these shameful times our country is going through.
i wouldn't call stephen a moral arbiter he is a catholic that never used his platform to fix the problems with his religion.
lol, that guy is only critizing, how is that hope?
stop joking around, there is way more impactful people out there
Dont worry, betrayal fades with time. Trust me im french! 😀😊
@@supermojo9672 what? you are clearly not. stop bullshiting and go back to your toys:/
no french people would say something like that
@@vertsang5424 you need to checked your history: it s not Just ww2, the jews, the haitians, joan of arc, président Macron Or Napoléon ( yes, the ont that said de " have thought about it And im bringing back slavery: sorry black People!) it s Just us! And yes im french.
Ah man I want this charade to end, but at the same time this is a golden age for comedy.
2:05
Oh.... so THAT'S why Eric keeps replaying the '"I am your father!" bit from Empire over and over and over again while gently weeping.
New Message Daddy nooo!
Mike_Pence.exe - System Error
This application failed to start because Mike_Pence.dll was not found. Re-installing the application may fix the problem.
Use mother.exe to boot :p
@@sumitarora5861🤣🤣🤣🤣
windows users. smh
Sumit Arora omg!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
error 404...brain cannot be found
.........incredible what going on in the USA, no script writer could make this stuff up.
Stay tuned. It's about to really hit the fan.
If this happened on a TV show, we'd be calling it unrealistic
The writers really jumped the shark with the porn star storylines.
Zael Slyte We’d say it was way over the top!
"We fell in love" Direct quote from Donald Trump, saying to a crowd of thousands that he fell in love with Kim Jong Un, the dictator of North Korea.
Asked for comment, Vader stated "Loooooook, at least I can manage an organization and a timetable, and I have more than one kid who turned out alright."
And I suppose the two Death Stars under his command that were blown to smithereens were just "fake news"? 😜
well technically one. the other is palpatines fault.
@@retnavybrat What Death Star? That is true fake news. The idea that top military equipment the size of a friggin' moon that shoots planet destroying lazers not only would it be too ludicrous to exist, but the empire's well disciplined storm troopers would NEVER leak such sensitive information.
That doesn't mean I support that religious nut, Vader. Seriously? A mysterious power called the Force? I never in my life heard such ridiculous, incomprehensabaACK ACKCKCAACCKCCKACKHKACKHKAAKKGHGHAAAA
aaa...
Jim's videos ℹ️🚻🚻🇮🇨
@@retnavybrat at least Vader never went bankrupt.
GEEZ Colbert's writing staff are just so good! Man they work so much into 10 minute monologue !!! I had to get out my inhaler! LMFA0!!!
Best talk show everr
Their average quality is pretty high, but this one made me really LOL
Maybe if you like to be spoon fed B.S. anti American propaganda. It amazes me that even with all the TV stations on your side that other than C.A. and N.Y. most people see right though the lies and still make the right call. I can only have nightmarish ideas of how bad of shape our nation would be in if the majority thought like you all in your fringe group "Democrats". Thank god they didn't let the elections in 2018 get rigged like they did in the primary. Trump has saved this great nation from going down a horrible path,the people spoke and said " we want Trump and we want the wall" to do anything other than that is against the people and democracy. I'm sure you think I'm the brainwashed one, but unlike you all I don't non stop consume media with an obvious political bias. Try to get out of your bubble,hell just look at the facts and numbers of how well we're doing under trump compared to the last. It would probably surprise a lot of you Colbert viewers.
@@normalhuman9260 bs propaganda? You mean like a wall that doesn't exist and then does, when really it doesn't? You mean like that? 🙄 Just one of so many lies you couldn't not know about unless...well, you were brainwashed.
... "My only crime was blind loyalty to Donald Trump" (Michael Cohen) "which we now know is a feolony." (Stephen Colbert). I almost spit out my drink. ROFL
At his rally's he'll cry :"Their coming to get me!"
or "let me out! let me out!"
They ice Pence every night.....like a salmon 😳💀💀🤯😂😂😂
That Salmon comment hits hard since they are responsible for destroying the LAST & ONLY natural spawning ground of Wild Salmon in the World. Pebble Mine with a disgusting poison pond in a pristine place that Salmon, Bears, migrating birds, and so much more will die from. Then add the earthquakes and aftershocks, WHY does this even get permits? Oh, because of Trump. THANKS TRUMP! Idiots abound
oh nonononononononononononononononoononononono
trump aint no darth vader! thats just offensive to sith lords everywhere.
Imagining Darth Vader being voiced by Donald Trump...can't get the image out of my head now...
Right, he's not that honorable! All hail the "orange-$h!t lord"
Vader brought order with an iron fist. Trump brought chaos with a greasy burger paw.
No he's #DarthPyrite
And yes folks your eyes do not deceive you. We're not even through the first half of his first term and we've already crossed the LooneyToons Event Horizon.
We're going to build a death star, and its going to be the biggest, the best deathstar that ever existed. And we'll make the rebel alliance pay for it
Mr. Colbert, you missed the perfect joke by not playing the song dirty deeds done dirt cheap by AC DC!
Also using Pence's face in a "Weekend at Bernie's" scene
@@scottcobra1 You Win!!! 🤣✌🤣😊🤘🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💨
Probably a licensing issue
Besides, 130K doesn't seem very cheap...
Love John's subtle Jailhouse Rock at 0:23
0:24 Jean Baptiste playing Jailhouse Rock to Cohen's Arrest hahahaha
+ Hank The Tank Cohen finally snapped and pretty much begged to be sent to jail. He didn't negotiate for a shorter sentence and - unlike David Pecker, Michael Flynn, and everyone else in this sorry mess - he didn't try to get immunity of any kind. He's hoping to start his sentence so he can do his time and then figure out how to spend the rest of his life because he will NOT be practicing law (also, his business partner - who owes money everywhere - is currently in jail in NY for failure to pay child support).
3 years? Not long enough.
In prison... 3 years will feel like a life time.
He sang
I don't think prison time is a priority for Bob Mueller. He cares more about getting cooperation from witnesses who could provide info on Trump and co., and it's easier to convince people to cooperate if they know they can get a low prison sentence by being truthful. That's what happened with Flynn, what would've happened with Manafort if he hadn't been trying to pull a fast one (Mueller is a god, you can't fool Bob Mueller), and what probably would've happened here if Cohen hadn't committed so many other crimes.
@@ugladden but they will still continue to be the same way. 18 years sounds better. Trump deserves 90 years.....maybe more with his family and his supporters.
@@michaelgomez4405 Fairly arbitrary numbers you're citing there... you know the law prescribes a maximum penalty right?
6:14 "ohhhh, what a #maroon!"
(firstly: that Looney-Tune moment, perfect,
AND= throwing 'maroon' in there, to boot:)
"That man lives in a fantasy world!"
Yes he does! Lol😅
I would like to live in a fantasy world but hateful reality has me by the throat.
I loved that cartoon clip from my childhood.
He should have made Mexico pay off those women
lol
And spend time converting pesos to dollars? We know if there's one thing Trump hates doing, it's...well, anything related to work, or having to expend brainpower, or having a brain period...
Most Hated Brilliant!
😂🤣😅😂🤣😅🤣😅🤣😅
Lol.
🎶Dirty deeds done dirt cheap, dirty deeds done dirt cheap🎶
Actually, dirty deeds done for about $130,000.
I kept expecting them to play that!
tinaloveseddie, don't you just love vintage AC/DC.
*done with sheep
I was expecting Colbert to sing that song.
My favourite Bugs Bunny skit
did you notice how at 00:42 stephen, a devoted improv guy, made it rain and then took the money clip and clipped his tie? that's some smart work
Absolutely Brilliant, Stephen
AGAIN!
I WISH Khaleesi could deal with Donald. I mean, I wouldn't want her children to eat him or anything. They might get serious indigestion. But they could at least see how flammable his hairspray actually is...
"Dracarys!"
I would love to see Drogon turn trump into a pile of carbon dust.
That Rabbit Fire clip was pure genius.
Cripes. Who did that courtroom sketch, Edvard Munch?
Francis Bacon
@The Rogue Wolf Quips like yours are the reason I peruse the comments section. Well done, you!
The Rogue Wolf Very good! It will haunt me tonight! 😂
Pence iced down "like he's a salmon". I'm the corpse here.
The liar in chief is a felon.
Wrong TRUMP 2020
lol "i chose the darkness over the light" get tf out of here michael cohen, you're not anakin skywalker
Would someone please help this stable genius 😂
AnD a vErY STABLE gEnIuS At tHAt
Stable Genius is in trouble! Not to worry! His faithful sidekick, Hidden Genius (aka Jared Kushner) will come to the rescu- and I'm just being told Hidden Genius has been indicted too. Well gosh darn it!
"And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!" -Stable Genius
Sheron Franklyn
Dirty deeds💩
hummm,
the genius must be mucking
in a horsey stable😹
N O P E
They ice him down like he’s a salmon. 😂
i know huh? like a salmon hahahahaha
This video is golden. Laughed so much.
The president of Mexico should agree pay for the wall but as part of the deal, Mexican citizens are granted passage through it. That's how it should work right? You pay for a bridge you get to cross it, so if you pay for a wall you get to go through it.
Here's an even better idea: Mexico pays for the wall, but it locks only on the Mexico side! That way, they can keep American criminals out!
SwiftBlade4 Awesome!! Great idea! I'll vote for that!
No... Blacks built America but are told we're lazy. Lol so no. America loves to screw people. Reducing that chance of happening is smart. Especially if people arnt so supportive and consistent.
SwiftBlade4 •
Bahaha brilliant
PCBacklash _ the Mexicans are gonna build the wall the US is gonna pay Mexico for the wall drug are gonna keep coming in there’s gonna be a lot of rich Mexicans man 5billion dllrs equals a lot of pesos😬😬😬
Love the "Jailhouse Rock" chords from Jon Batiste.
Mike “Weekend at Bernie’s” Pence
Gb
Jko0 bj
3 years is NOT justice.
When young men are imprisoned for 20 years for sale of marijuana, and a traitor to our country gets 3 years, it is NOT just.
Downfall of Democracy v. Getting High
The courtroom artist bit!😄
“Trump’s personal cryptonite - opening his mouth”. LOL!! It’s so true!
Why has nobody else thought of calling him Daffy Donald??? Colbert, I think you're on to something...
5:53 loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool
I've to say.... this was spot on....... omg i died!
BRILLIANT POLITICAL SATIRE AND PARODY!!!! BRAVO STEPHEN!!!!
Omg the Bugs and Daffy clip! ROTFLMAO!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Read The New Yorker article comparing trump to Kaiser Wilhelm "What Happens When a Bad-Tempered, Distractible Doofus Runs an Empire?" By Miranda Carter,June 6, 2018, "During Kaiser Wilhelm II’s reign, the upper echelons of the German government began to unravel into a free-for-all, with officials wrangling against one another....One of the few things that Kaiser Wilhelm II, who ruled Germany from 1888 to 1918, had a talent for was causing outrage. A particular specialty was insulting other monarchs."
I expected Cohen to walk out of the courtroom in handcuffs escorted to federal prison...Found out that he doesn’t need to “report” there until MARCH, so he can spend the holidays with his family! How is this fair?! 😡
There are two sets of rules, one for the rich, especially if the rich person is white and male, and one for the poor.
Golightly True dat
that's messed up...what are the odds he runs?
Normally I would be upset too but what he did wasn't that bad. He paid off a porn star for a moron. Let him stay home for a while. Working for Don all those years was punishment enough really, it had to be hell.
@@mellymel6543, I wish because I have a short pier for him, and for Cohen I might even come up with a life jacket..
"Chuck got me this time, using my own personal kryptonite: opening my mouth." Hah! 👏
"Dirty deeds done dirt cheap...". So much for THAT song...
I'm Dreaming Of A Non-Orange Christmas . . . !
Saint Nick for Prez!
@@lobonoble2072
Mueller for Santa Claus!
...I’m ready to go Mueller Christmas caroling with you! This song, sounds like a classic! There are so many excellent Mueller Xmas tunes on CZcams.
Shout out to Jon Batiste for playing 'Jailhouse Rock' right on cue :)
He went to a party in the federal jail! there he had to stay 'cause Trump wouldn't pay his bail
Elvis Presley sang with all his heart after Martin Luther King Jr passing and someone else.... the problem, racist problem's name was"colonel parker", so Trump is a disgrace, very well done Colbert. I'm liking your comment as well, 22nd like
Right on cue. Like he didn't know that was coming. It's right up there on the board moron. This nitwit needs a shout-out for doing what he gets paid for and being annoying along with IT . SMFH
@@n40tom calm down brother it ain't that deep.
@@dlilwon
I was wondering why you are sticking up for Stymie and then I seen your photo. Birds of a annoying feather.
"My heart and actions are utterly unclouded. They are all those of justice"
"The corpse of Mike Pence" - this is one of the funniest lines, in the context of the clip, that there is on CZcams. Absolutely perfectly timed and coming so quickly after, "who is this sorrowful creature?" gag - kills me dead, every single time. What a monologue clip! Intense.
1 joint = life sentence ...corrupt the government = 3.5 yrs in a federal clubhouse for rich people
That sketch artist makes me feel good shout my drawing skills! 🎨
CZcams removed the late show from my recommended even though I'm subscribed. Fishy af. Legit haven't seen this Colbert on my feed for months.
HAHAHA!! When he said that meeting reminded him of a certain scene, the bugs bunny literal twist came to my mind almost immediately! What a coincience!
But Trump hires the very best people! Believe him!
I think his very big brain is at war with his even larger gut.
Trump keeps his campaign promises? Why hasn’t Mexico paid for his wall yet?
Only three years give him 10 days and impeach Trump I'd rather have that.
Courtroom sketches are looking more like Night Gallery paintings. All that's missing is Rod Serling presiding
Ha! When Stephen announced Cohen's sentence, did you hear Jon start "Jailhouse Rock"?
25TH AMENDMENT. IT'S THERE, JUST DO THE DAMNED PAPER WORK. FOR FUXXX SAKE!!!
The Trump administration needs a new theme song. I suggest "I fought the law, and the law won".
HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT LORD VADER IN SUCH A MANNER
0:24 // hahahaha! opening riff to "JAILHOUSE ROCK".
Much respect to Jon Baptiste ladies & gentlemen.
Only thing is,
Darth Vader still had some good in him,
Trump has never had any good in him...
The Angry Dudeist trump is emperor palpatine
Dylan Kaiser That is an insult to palpatine. Trump can't plain for the next hour let alone decades.😀
@@dinobotful
I think i finally figured it out-
Trump: " Me sa gonna build a wall!!!!" Lmao
ifn he was poor or working class citzen and stole a bubble gum from a old lady with no teeth he would've went to jail for 5 life sentences
Zezeee Betaa 7 if he was black or Latino
... would've GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stephen: Mr. Dirty Deeds
Me: Done Drit Cheap!!!
best part of the day: comin home, warming up some food, kickin up my feet, and lettin that colbert croon sweet sweet justice...
Don't drag Darth Vader into this bs.
He was a waaaaaaay better father.
When is Trump getting sentenced?
Christmas :)
January 21st, 2021, if we're lucky. This upcoming election could literally be a matter of life or death for Trump. Win and he gets to put off his date with justice for another 4 years, lose and he's a dead man walking.
Haroon Abdul Majeed no one said Pence couldn’t join him. Beside, Trump has committed other criminal offenses. I just asked when, I didnt ask for what.
@Marissa Steffani .. never, this is America and he is too rich to go to jail
Not soon enough !
The bugs-daffy at 5:30 is priceless
Steve's zingers are legendary! "Dirty Deeds was Stormy Daniels Co-star" classic
Lock up the Trump Crime Family.
Lock you ☝
kim jong long dong
Clever
Lock them up lock them up lock them up......
I'm happy that one of Trump's henchmen got served, but I'm saving my Millers for that true red white and blue Muller time...when Trump goes to prison!!! 🍻😂😂😂🎉🇺🇸
That sketch looked more like Manafort.
I’m in Canada and I’ve been rooting that you Americans get the justice you deserve. It’s so nice to see laws actually being used against the rich and “untouchables”.
BRILLIANT!!!!
Mike Pence looks like he came out of the movie WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S
Courtroom Tom Brady did have a deflated head because THE MIAMI DOLPHINS speared right through it in just 4-error-free seconds to come back and WIN a game that looked hopeless. It was the most beautiful and well-executed play that was pure joy to witness live!!! Even more bc the Pats get the loss.
Completely lost it at the Darth Vader part 🤣🤣🤣🤣
mike pence was the white noise in white house :)
One down, many more to go......
0:18 As soon as I found out, I already heard this ovation in my head😹
Anyone notice Jon playing the first chords of Jailhouse Rock as soon as Steven said "3 years in prison"?
DARTH VADER !! Love Colbert !!
Donald Trump, known to the Sith as Darth Tax-Evader.
With the amount of pornstars he has screwed, it should be darth siphilis.
The undertaker's work on Pence's body is nothing short of superb.
Stephen, you really nailed it today. You had me cracking up! I really enjoyed this ( especially the court room sketches) keep up the great job!
Trump sure throws people under the bus and then distances himself from them. I'm guessing the Repub senators will do the same when shit hits the fan.
In the Woods
Oh no doubt, it’s what people do no one wants to be associated with the bad guy.
03:37 Who drew that sketch? Edvard Munch?
"Look, Mexico's gonna pay for the wall and it's gonna be made of ice, and there's gonna be dragons... Mmm Kay? " frggin hilarious!!!
Another brilliant monologue!