What type are you? I am an ENFJ, although I do often wonder if I am really an INFJ with massive Fe because I use my intuition non-stop all day every day. It is terrifying for real. I have some legal matters at the moment (civil action not criminal) my attorney is an INFJ which man oh man is that a perfect match because I was prepared for the typical ISTJ or ESTJ attorney who might not be good at "hand-holding". Anyways it is a non-stop balance of worrying but also wondering and analyzing in more and more exciting ways! The legal matter I am dealing with involves a state statute that has no case law to it with serious constitutional problems so naturally, I want to prepare legal arguments for every issue....an odd mix of excitement and terror lol. My attorney has been a defendant before personally and has been great with relating to that as he enjoys taking novel cases and making successful but strange and novel arguments. I think this experience has shown me how easily you can go from analyzing something to over-analyzing to the point of anxiety!
Stoicism can also be helpful for single deciders. Acknowledging what is and isn't in your control in relation to other people can remove stress and confusion.
IxxPs can use stoïcism as an excuse to double up on ego/identity stack and just disregard everything that happens around them and not take responsibility for how they treat people, but just say to themselves ''I'm only responsible for myself.''
You just need to decide to let go of your first function and SEE that it's alright you'te not gonna die AND get comfortable in this space (the space where you don't align with your first function) And every morning you have a choice either leave your mind on autopilot OR you choose to not identify with it and be mindful of yourself
ISFP here. We prefer to know some stuff in advance, but in such an ever-changing world where the unexpected keeps coming, there isn't a lot to really build on, so we accept it. I don't get the people who don't have the need to study themselves and make peace with themselves. I mean, out of everything that's in my life, I'm the only thing that's guaranteed to be there 'till the end.
EJ here. I love to what’s coming, but it’s not an obsession. When one has quicker access to the Oe function one can quickly adjust to chaos. Matter fact apart of me expects it. I may not know what KIND of chaos, to the tea, but I expect it and I calmly know what to do about it in the moment. As a double observer it just goes back to not being afraid of things and being balanced with knowing what to sensor do while seeing the bird’s eye intuitive view of what’s going on and knowing this problem WILL get fixed. To me this seems incredibly simple. Seems like a normal part of adult life. Observer problems continues to baffles me. I have two IJ sisters. I realized I need to embrace the super power of double observing and stop envying their double deciding super power.
Love you guys!! As an infj this just helped my endless struggle of having to go through the same mechanisms daily. Nice to know im not alone and felt at ease. Lovey to hear your experiences and coping with it Dave!!! Love love loves this video❤❤❤
yeah yeah .."ride the horse the direction that it's going". also we can't always control our thoughts and reactions, so that's another layer of letting go.
I've got my type down to INxJ, trying to work out which. This video relates so much with the control and OCD like symptoms. I've always had the need for order, i.e.: - having volume on a 0, even number or multiple of 5 - organising my bookshelf by genre, then within that by author then ascending date etc. - anticipating as much as possible about social situations, having multiple plans, even convesations - having a stack of books/items all face up, and lined up without one being pushed out - having a place for everything and everything in it's place - when packing for holiday, I had everything packed one week early (until I realised this wasn't normal), then would have everything unpacked first thing getting home Also: Derren Brown is amazing, got to see one of his shows.
Soooo true, I’ve come to the same paradigm through different things, but the point is right. I’ve been noticing in myself that when I feel this anxiety and over controlling terminator mode, like you can even feel that your body is so tense, once I noticed it, I say to myself fuck it, stop, maybe it’s more funny and interesting to see what will happen (only if you calculated that the worst thing that could happen is not so terrible), so why don’t have fun 😀
People see me as an optimist, but realistically I'm a strategic pessimist that strives for inner homeostasis, which IS an optimistic goal to me...I think lol. I am an EP tho, so I guess I would naturally think differently (not crave as much control as a typical IJ), but I followed what he was trying to say... can't control everything, which is why whenever I do feel anxiety/anger etc, I try my best (not always successfully) to rationalize the situation that's giving me anxiety/anger. Then I'm back on "autopilot."
Love this video! The tumor analogy for Ni control is on point. There is no way I can't remove the impulse to control the future, it's within me, and trying to ignore it makes me even more anxious. lol. The best I can do is train myself to tame it and get comfortable with it. Thanks for the video!
Same. I've been struggling with a long term project (20 years) that I try, "fail" to finish, abandon and then come back to try again. If I let go of controlling the result, and just control my participation in the process, I MIGHT actually be able to feel more accomplished - even if I never finish it? The thought of that still makes me want to puke... lol... but maybe that's OK.
Is an observer-type anxiety about needing to know the outcome of a decision in order to make it indicative of Ni or Si? My biggest trouble over the last few years has been decision paralysis because of this. I have to know what will happen in order to make a big decision, but I can’t know what will happen until I make the big decision. Cue stagnation and missed opportunities. I seem to fear both the concrete and the nebulous, but “scary negative possibilities” as an idea breaks down into real-world specifics, all the things I am afraid of… damaging my health, ending up alone, backing myself into a corner, doing the wrong thing, regret, breathing in something toxic, chores. I’m so colossally bad at control but I feel like I need to know everything before I do anything big. It’s like I’m trying to write my life story before it happens. That’s not how it works!!!
Ni is planning for the self. The out of control chaos is Se, trying to provide sensory for the tribe. SE is not don't control me, that is Ni (I already have a plan). Ne is creativity for the tribe, with Si being internalizing the sensory. Fe, Te, Si and Ni observe the world. Fi, Ti, SE and Te are the self acting for the tribe.
My friend who I typed INFJ has been procrastinating his entire life. Big ambitions, never going anything. Just watching personal development stuff all day, every day, never doing anything. He has this shiny fad syndrome. Always searching for more. Instead of just doing something. Also a perfectionist.
Your description makes me think that you have Blast low on your animals stack. A demon Blast person, and especially if they have Blast last on the order of animals, will struggle with getting started before doing the Consume, i.e. fearing the unknown and needing to know what they are about to face before actually facing them.
Every time I think I'm lead Ni you put up a video that makes me think I'm lead Ti. Every time I think I'm lead Ti you put up a video that makes me think I'm lead Ni. I'm probably lead Ti though, because Fe depending on other people is something I always try to avoid at all costs. Se gathering the facts is just a time-consuming bore but not an actual fear.
It applies to single deciders as well - accepting that other people are what they are, or you are what you are, and there's limited control you actually have over both, so just do your best and don't stress about it so much
Calvinist, You just need to average 51% to make sure you're going the right way. When you don't care about anything, you're also then willing to do anything. Stay late? Na I'm good, I got a big conference meeting tomorrow about the chosen few I've selected to ensure they're predestined for exceptional razzle dazzle and boogie woogie, sing it with feeling this time. Jeezes Walk the walk, not talk talk the talk all day long.
Speaking as an IxxP, probably to stop thinking about yourself and your perspective first, and how you would do or approach something, and think of it from the other side. I know for me I've had to stop expecting others to come to me, (which never happened anyway and lead to huge disappointments) and rather be the one to approach them. To be less conscious of yourself. To *show* interest in other people (and not just playing it out in your head). To stop thinking of what others can do for you and to consider what you can do for others - and then do it. That has lead to some of the best moments in my life. It's always gonna be a struggle, but it's worth it in the end.
The way I deal with chaos is I just pretend that it's all part of the plan, by adapting the plan to the chaos, so I look at all the crazy shit that's gone wrong in my life and just say ''how do I incorporate all of this into my future and life as a whole?'' So I basically just adapt my life philosophy to my life reality and account for everything by making in fit into an ideology somehow. So: start from the assumption that everything in life was always going to happen (some people say everything happens for a reason or whatever) and then make sure that my understanding of the world and how things should be matches that somehow, so I make sure my ideology is within the realm of possibility. Then that has it's own problems, because I'm always dragging behind myself and I'm still nervous to commit to a plan because of all the chaos I just assume will happen (ExxP approach?), but that's how I do it lol. And then I still freak out when the train leaves early, or a shop is closed even though it said open on the website :/
So true. stoicism is the bro philosophy for a generation that hates to read books.. There’s real philosophy, then stoicism which is just for workaholics and zen/enlightened philosophy which is for condescending jerks.
Speak for yourself meatheads I love my ni. I love everything about me. I just want to get better at the stuff I suck at. My ni is always right. I'm new to fi as my 4th but I already love her too. Start admitting you love yourselves people. You chose to be you every morning till now. Denying it only makes you look like the emperor has no clothes. We can all see you love yourself so just lean into it. Stop trying to chip at what you already are just git gud at what you aren't.
is it possible for our second savior function to change? i was definitely an infj with fe savior but after some real hard times, which eventually lead me to mbti, i feel like i use my ti way more than i used to, but my fe is still strong. my guess is that my fe is stronger than i think and that my ti is still my demon that got developed pretty well.
Dropping the Ni at times is something I'm currently learning. It's terrifying, like a leap forward with no Ni net prepared. But I'm less anxious also.
What type are you? I am an ENFJ, although I do often wonder if I am really an INFJ with massive Fe because I use my intuition non-stop all day every day. It is terrifying for real. I have some legal matters at the moment (civil action not criminal) my attorney is an INFJ which man oh man is that a perfect match because I was prepared for the typical ISTJ or ESTJ attorney who might not be good at "hand-holding". Anyways it is a non-stop balance of worrying but also wondering and analyzing in more and more exciting ways! The legal matter I am dealing with involves a state statute that has no case law to it with serious constitutional problems so naturally, I want to prepare legal arguments for every issue....an odd mix of excitement and terror lol. My attorney has been a defendant before personally and has been great with relating to that as he enjoys taking novel cases and making successful but strange and novel arguments. I think this experience has shown me how easily you can go from analyzing something to over-analyzing to the point of anxiety!
Stoicism can also be helpful for single deciders. Acknowledging what is and isn't in your control in relation to other people can remove stress and confusion.
Yep, I can't change people. Just work on myself and accept how others work as simple facts...
IxxPs can use stoïcism as an excuse to double up on ego/identity stack and just disregard everything that happens around them and not take responsibility for how they treat people, but just say to themselves ''I'm only responsible for myself.''
@@amidreaming333 IxxPs can use ANYTHING for that 😊
@@5idi yep :)
You just need to decide to let go of your first function and SEE that it's alright you'te not gonna die AND get comfortable in this space (the space where you don't align with your first function)
And every morning you have a choice either leave your mind on autopilot OR you choose to not identify with it and be mindful of yourself
Well said. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
very true!
I don't understand how non IJ's don't need to know what's coming so they can plan and be ready. That baffles me.
ISFP here. We prefer to know some stuff in advance, but in such an ever-changing world where the unexpected keeps coming, there isn't a lot to really build on, so we accept it.
I don't get the people who don't have the need to study themselves and make peace with themselves. I mean, out of everything that's in my life, I'm the only thing that's guaranteed to be there 'till the end.
@@5idi I do respect that from the IxxPs. EJ here.
EJ here. I love to what’s coming, but it’s not an obsession. When one has quicker access to the Oe function one can quickly adjust to chaos. Matter fact apart of me expects it. I may not know what KIND of chaos, to the tea, but I expect it and I calmly know what to do about it in the moment. As a double observer it just goes back to not being afraid of things and being balanced with knowing what to sensor do while seeing the bird’s eye intuitive view of what’s going on and knowing this problem WILL get fixed. To me this seems incredibly simple. Seems like a normal part of adult life. Observer problems continues to baffles me. I have two IJ sisters. I realized I need to embrace the super power of double observing and stop envying their double deciding super power.
Doing all your work while no one is looking so no one comes to blow you and your plans up is so painfully accurate 🤣
Love you guys!! As an infj this just helped my endless struggle of having to go through the same mechanisms daily. Nice to know im not alone and felt at ease. Lovey to hear your experiences and coping with it Dave!!! Love love loves this video❤❤❤
yeah yeah .."ride the horse the direction that it's going".
also we can't always control our thoughts and reactions, so that's another layer of letting go.
I've got my type down to INxJ, trying to work out which. This video relates so much with the control and OCD like symptoms. I've always had the need for order,
i.e.:
- having volume on a 0, even number or multiple of 5
- organising my bookshelf by genre, then within that by author then ascending date etc.
- anticipating as much as possible about social situations, having multiple plans, even convesations
- having a stack of books/items all face up, and lined up without one being pushed out
- having a place for everything and everything in it's place
- when packing for holiday, I had everything packed one week early (until I realised this wasn't normal), then would have everything unpacked first thing getting home
Also: Derren Brown is amazing, got to see one of his shows.
Soooo true, I’ve come to the same paradigm through different things, but the point is right. I’ve been noticing in myself that when I feel this anxiety and over controlling terminator mode, like you can even feel that your body is so tense, once I noticed it, I say to myself fuck it, stop, maybe it’s more funny and interesting to see what will happen (only if you calculated that the worst thing that could happen is not so terrible), so why don’t have fun 😀
People see me as an optimist, but realistically I'm a strategic pessimist that strives for inner homeostasis, which IS an optimistic goal to me...I think lol.
I am an EP tho, so I guess I would naturally think differently (not crave as much control as a typical IJ), but I followed what he was trying to say... can't control everything, which is why whenever I do feel anxiety/anger etc, I try my best (not always successfully) to rationalize the situation that's giving me anxiety/anger. Then I'm back on "autopilot."
Love this video! The tumor analogy for Ni control is on point. There is no way I can't remove the impulse to control the future, it's within me, and trying to ignore it makes me even more anxious. lol. The best I can do is train myself to tame it and get comfortable with it. Thanks for the video!
Strategic pessimism. 😂. I'm making no promises......
Oh my God he's saying the same shit as Viktor Frankl and Sadhguru and Jesus and Buddha. The INFJ teaching
I was just thinking this as well! haha So reminiscent of the Frankl video they did recently.
The basic white guys starter pack
Dear old observers
That's actually surprisingly helpful
Same. I've been struggling with a long term project (20 years) that I try, "fail" to finish, abandon and then come back to try again. If I let go of controlling the result, and just control my participation in the process, I MIGHT actually be able to feel more accomplished - even if I never finish it? The thought of that still makes me want to puke... lol... but maybe that's OK.
It definitely is a daily struggle, and I'm trying to stay in the now so I don't worry about what's coming that I can't control.
Formula of life is: do not mess with a garbage. Control good stuff. Let go useless stuff. Learn to see the difference.
Thanks !! ✍
Be like water, just go with the flow
Is an observer-type anxiety about needing to know the outcome of a decision in order to make it indicative of Ni or Si?
My biggest trouble over the last few years has been decision paralysis because of this. I have to know what will happen in order to make a big decision, but I can’t know what will happen until I make the big decision. Cue stagnation and missed opportunities.
I seem to fear both the concrete and the nebulous, but “scary negative possibilities” as an idea breaks down into real-world specifics, all the things I am afraid of… damaging my health, ending up alone, backing myself into a corner, doing the wrong thing, regret, breathing in something toxic, chores. I’m so colossally bad at control but I feel like I need to know everything before I do anything big.
It’s like I’m trying to write my life story before it happens. That’s not how it works!!!
Absolutely. I managed to figure this out in my own life as well.
Ni is planning for the self. The out of control chaos is Se, trying to provide sensory for the tribe. SE is not don't control me, that is Ni (I already have a plan).
Ne is creativity for the tribe, with Si being internalizing the sensory.
Fe, Te, Si and Ni observe the world. Fi, Ti, SE and Te are the self acting for the tribe.
Thank you for this, very helpful
Does that mean IxxJs have problems getting started? ie. Fear of the unknown, and making mistakes?
Research research, need more info?
My friend who I typed INFJ has been procrastinating his entire life. Big ambitions, never going anything. Just watching personal development stuff all day, every day, never doing anything.
He has this shiny fad syndrome. Always searching for more. Instead of just doing something.
Also a perfectionist.
Your description makes me think that you have Blast low on your animals stack. A demon Blast person, and especially if they have Blast last on the order of animals, will struggle with getting started before doing the Consume, i.e. fearing the unknown and needing to know what they are about to face before actually facing them.
love the way you analyze things 🤣
Every time I think I'm lead Ni you put up a video that makes me think I'm lead Ti.
Every time I think I'm lead Ti you put up a video that makes me think I'm lead Ni.
I'm probably lead Ti though, because Fe depending on other people is something I always try to avoid at all costs.
Se gathering the facts is just a time-consuming bore but not an actual fear.
Looks like you’re definitely in that quadrant.
I’m 100% with Shan. Don’t believe in observers and still dumb founded by their problems. 😂
You need to double decide a little and maybe you'll get it 😛
I agree, 90% of observer problems aren't problems - they're already technologically solved, or solvable through decider methods.
@@5dlovelight 🤣🤣🤣
@@5idi Absolutely. 💯
Honestly I never really get these types of videos...maybe because I'm not a single observer haha
It applies to single deciders as well - accepting that other people are what they are, or you are what you are, and there's limited control you actually have over both, so just do your best and don't stress about it so much
Calvinist, You just need to average 51% to make sure you're going the right way. When you don't care about anything, you're also then willing to do anything. Stay late? Na I'm good, I got a big conference meeting tomorrow about the chosen few I've selected to ensure they're predestined for exceptional razzle dazzle and boogie woogie, sing it with feeling this time. Jeezes Walk the walk, not talk talk the talk all day long.
Really interesting video, as always! What would dropping Fi look like do you think?
Speaking as an IxxP, probably to stop thinking about yourself and your perspective first, and how you would do or approach something, and think of it from the other side.
I know for me I've had to stop expecting others to come to me, (which never happened anyway and lead to huge disappointments) and rather be the one to approach them.
To be less conscious of yourself. To *show* interest in other people (and not just playing it out in your head). To stop thinking of what others can do for you and to consider what you can do for others - and then do it.
That has lead to some of the best moments in my life.
It's always gonna be a struggle, but it's worth it in the end.
@@writerducky2589 oh nice, i think that will also help me ☺
The way I deal with chaos is I just pretend that it's all part of the plan, by adapting the plan to the chaos, so I look at all the crazy shit that's gone wrong in my life and just say ''how do I incorporate all of this into my future and life as a whole?''
So I basically just adapt my life philosophy to my life reality and account for everything by making in fit into an ideology somehow.
So: start from the assumption that everything in life was always going to happen (some people say everything happens for a reason or whatever) and then make sure that my understanding of the world and how things should be matches that somehow, so I make sure my ideology is within the realm of possibility.
Then that has it's own problems, because I'm always dragging behind myself and I'm still nervous to commit to a plan because of all the chaos I just assume will happen (ExxP approach?), but that's how I do it lol.
And then I still freak out when the train leaves early, or a shop is closed even though it said open on the website :/
That’s cool. Very interesting.
Fell asleep listening to that guy.
Yep, if it wasn't for the subtites, I wouldn't register a word. Even with them it's a blur
Got annoyed listening to those two
You guys still have your camera on autofocus?? Change that s*** to manual.
can we really control out thoughts though? not really
Marriage update: it's all good
is it possible for our second savior function to switch with our third function?
How about do a video on INFJ and their goddamn obsession with stoicism
So true. stoicism is the bro philosophy for a generation that hates to read books.. There’s real philosophy, then stoicism which is just for workaholics and zen/enlightened philosophy which is for condescending jerks.
Speak for yourself meatheads I love my ni. I love everything about me. I just want to get better at the stuff I suck at. My ni is always right. I'm new to fi as my 4th but I already love her too.
Start admitting you love yourselves people. You chose to be you every morning till now. Denying it only makes you look like the emperor has no clothes. We can all see you love yourself so just lean into it. Stop trying to chip at what you already are just git gud at what you aren't.
is it possible for our second savior function to change? i was definitely an infj with fe savior but after some real hard times, which eventually lead me to mbti, i feel like i use my ti way more than i used to, but my fe is still strong. my guess is that my fe is stronger than i think and that my ti is still my demon that got developed pretty well.
Maybe you're a INFJ jumper or you have masculine Ti or you have double activated Ti.
Hard times will pull out that identity function period, especially if it’s a demon function.
@@diplomat2623 what is the identity function?
@@Brickwilliams Ti or Fi
@@diplomat2623 ig it’s a good thing right? i feel like i’m less outgoing than i used to be but more sure of myself
Boop
what animal do you mean at 5:30
Probably Blast and/or Play.
He is INTJ not INFJ
infj's are more analytical when it comes to social environments, he's infj