Diane Spencer 13th Star Sign Ophiuchus! (WTF NASA?!)
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- čas přidán 14. 08. 2020
- My name is Diane Spencer and I am a standup comedian when it's legal! This is an astrology video about Ophiuchus, the brand new 13th star sign and how it has caused cosmic ripples! My comedy is not for children, so if you're under 18 please don't watch.
I have 8 x hour long comedy specials available on CZcams, have a look around my channel, hit subscribe and the notification bell.
Join me on social media:
Twitter @dianespencerfun
Instagram @dianespencerfun
Facebook @dianespencerfun
Website www.dianespencer.tv/
Wall of sponsors (correct at time of creating video)
Thank you very much to the following people:
Simon Inglis, Gaelle S Maquignon, Ian Roberts, Kevin Camp, Chris Butler, Mark "Leucomelanous" Leck, Arthur Held, Nicholas Coulombe, John Hannaford, Scott Bingham, Joshua Budde, Mike Williams, Richard Weiss, Douglas Pintar, Kari Lappalainen, Scott Russell, Laszlo Nevelits, Jerry Lowetz, Andreas Berger, Sheldon Hearn, Ahmet Aydogan
If you would like to become a sponsor, make a donation of your choice to my paypal:
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All donations are really appreciated.
MUSIC and sound effects
All tracks are copyright free. Additional sounds created by myself.
Dance by Bensound, Bensound.com
Get Tough by TrackTribe
Bleep by Diane Spencer in Audacity
Afternoon Crickets by CZcams Audio Library
Chtulthu by Quincas Moreira
Pure Potentiality by Benjamin Martins
Catch Up by Dan Lebowitz
Morning Stroll by Josh Kirsch, Media Right Productions
Retrograde by Spence
Rubbersqueak by CZcams Audio Library
With a Rose in Your Teeth by Nathan Moore
1940s Slow Dance Sting by Doug Maxwell, Media Right Productions
Reference footage/images used from:
Heart.co.uk
The Sun website/newspaper
The Mirror website/newspaper
NASA logo from NASA, who does not endorse anything I do
Nightsky webversion from Stellarium.org
Etsy
ZodiacTattooPictures.com
Tweets from Twitter
Lady Gaga from NBC coverage of the MET gala
News footage clips from various sources including ABC news, Associated Press, Al Jazeera, 7 News Australia. Thank you to all the journalists who allowed me to use their stuff for parody purposes.
Animations by Diane Spencer
Created in Fusion 8
Written by Diane Spencer
Performed/edited by Diane Spencer - Komedie
Thank you, the People's "People's Princess" Di.
Hi Anzan!
"This reminds me of when I used to play Cow Pat Bingo" is my new favorite phrase. I feel like it will have many possible uses.
You know you're putting your money and faith in a big pile of steamin'...
I think the beauty of it is that it sounds like a non sequitur. And it would even work as that, but then there's the punch that makes it even more justified.
Lol oh stop it you are killing me
I love the way you do this , 🤣🤣
Thank you so much! I wasn't sure if these videos were popular, but I like making them, so I'm glad you enjoy them :)
I remember that in the late 80's/early 90's, Alchemy England, a company making tin juwelery, made pendants for this star sign. A skeleton holding snakes.
Love a bit or star sign merch
One of the best redheads in the biz
Thank you!
And there was me thinking the new star sign was pronounced, "Oh fuck us!" 😜🤣🤣🤣
It pretty much is!!
Hello Di!
I'm spreading your charm around Slovenia as much as I can. Your brilliant, wacky humor is so refreshing. Miss your posts, I hope you're OK and writing some new material. Thank god Kevin came into your life, otherwise I'd have to move to GB ;). Take care, greetings from 'The sunny side of the Alps'.
Mike
Thanks Mike! I am writing new material and making new videos whilst this pandemic has reduced my chance to perform live. Thank you for being such a great supporter and sharing my work with people - I appreciate it :)
Continue to love your work, see vast improvements in your videos. You new visual dynamics are impressive and compliment your comedy. You Continue to make me laugh like crazy. Thank you.
I totally love you diane spencer
Thank you John
I'm so disappointed. I thought for a minute that my life was a lie, but then NASA went and told me that nothing had really changed except that astrology isn't really astronomy and I'm just who I an because that's what I did.
You're the real deal. Thanks.
Lol. no worries :)
"Don't touch those, those are my good bongos!" hahaha
Hi Mike! Yeah, you know the type of person... claims they're all free spirit, and they're just pretentious bongo snobs!
@@DianeSpencercomedian They're in my family, pretty easy to spot!
I bet you have some amazing crystals tho!!
You're getting really good at these! X
Thanks Iain, without having live gigs to do I'm funnelling my funny into these. Makes me feel good :)
So refreshing for a stodgy Brit! Thank you!
Stodgy!!! That's just my food :)
The ending ! ! ! 😂 😂 😂 OMG, the ending !!! 👍👍👍
You mean the gemini or the necklace?? XD Thank you
On the case :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian The "neckleace collection" one 😂
i hope ur staying safe and well and cant wait for next special. you are amazing and crack me up
Thank you Steven, I hope you're well too! My next special, gosh, I will start thinking about that once I've done my first gig "back" so to speak! I haven't been able to work live for months, but this Saturday that changes! So onwards and upwards :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian thats exciting. good luck and stay safe
Loving this topical format. Hope you do more of these!
Thank you! (Libra Zebra ARGH) :) That's my plan. This was what I originally envisioned when I made the diabetes one back in november.
@@DianeSpencercomedian Well to be fair it does only work if you pronounce Zebra the way the Americans do lol
Yay for more Di-sections of current topics!
Hilarious! Always Great to see you again Di. Been wondering! Lol! Fantabulous Video! Especially that ending! :)
Thanks Kevin! Just took me a while to make it. It's all the colouring in :) Do you mean the "necklace" bit? Or the gemini bit?
@@DianeSpencercomedian Totally, Fucking Up Someone's Necklace Collection! How you just "Dropped it in there" almost as an "After Thought", PERFECT! Excellent! Loved it darlin" ! :) In MY Opinion; "worth the price of admission" for the whole show!! Sort of the Icing on the cake! Perfect!!! :)
Wondrous!!! Thank you Kevin :D
That last line freakin' killed me 😂
Almost literally, I laughed so hard I stumbled off my ladder
LOL! You're watching me whilst you're up a ladder...?! What are you doing?
Stripping textured wallpaper off a ceiling, and it would've been unbearably boring without top quality comedic content like yours!
arguably less life threatening tho 🤔
I feel your pain. I had talk radio on for hours and hours when I was painting the hallway up a ladder.
Thanks for brightening up this alleged Libra's otherwise uneventful Sunday morning. There may be more constellations now, but there's still only one sun, and you're a ray of sunshine.
You're most welcome. I love that phrase "alleged Libra" like you're committing a crime
@@DianeSpencercomedian Thanks, I suppose (I was until your reply fully unaware of the criminal nature of star signs)
Love your stuff.
Thank you David :)
Hilarious!! Thank you for the laughs!
You're most welcome Darla! Thank you for letting me know :)
Apparently I have the same birthday as the prime minister so thanks for letting me know I am now a Taurus
You're most welcome! You are a survivalist!
So glad to be alive and laugh at your comedyyyyy
I am so glad you're here too :)
Your editing and video presentation has gotten awesome with this one!
I signed up for the one hour specials, enjoyed the Live Streams immensely (especially the second, with the occasional KevCam bits!
I'm so glad you're enjoying my channel! Thank you Dan. Trying to do what I can. I should organise another live stream, I'll talk to Kev. :) Look after yourself buddy
@@DianeSpencercomedian By the way, I saw "Hair today, gone tomorrow" today! (I'm good friends with Andy O!) :-D
That was really great. Just found your channel, what a talent !
Thank you very much Steven! Welcome aboard! I hope you have a nice time watching my various bits and bobs.
@@DianeSpencercomedian Really enjoying your content. Just a thought, might do a bit about ASMR, I do not understand it . It us supposed to relax , create " tingles" and help you sleep. Watched more than a few, no result. Tapping, odd sounds and in one case just staring. This has got to be good material for your very special comedy. Considering some have over 700k subscribers, what is going going here ? All good thoughts.
3:32. Ahh, I can help you with that one Di. Making shit up.
*cough* how dare you
i love u diane and you are amazing. thank you for making videos and staying positive and questioning things
Thank you Steven, you're very kind. Curious minds I suppose :)
Thank You for Your Service ❤️
Posting on Facebook!
Hi Don! Thank you!
Oh the innuendo 😁
Oh god, I hadn't heard about this. This is how I get my news now
Comedy news :) I do the same thing with Jonathan Pie or John Oliver.
Now it all makes sense. My ex wife used to tell me her jaw was clicking again.
It happens and some mornings it hurts!
Only if everyone could have your humor. It would be fun, that's for sure. I love listening to you. Have a great day.
Thanks Randall, I am about to go for my daily walk in the rain :) But I live on an island and have a rain mac so it'll all be good. I hope you're well :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian walking in the rain isn't so bad. It's even nicer when you're walking with someone else that enjoys it. The rain don't bother me unless I'm trying to do a job. Anyway, it's always good to ear your jokes and just knowing you are alright makes everything in this world better. Have a really great day.
Love you Diane!!🤣❤
Love you too buddy, I'm so happy I made you laugh!
So in essence The Sun has become The Onion and Skeptic Magazine combined.
What do you mean, "become"?
I too spent 4 years in Bahrain when i was 4 to 8 years of age
Gosh, do you remember much of it?
Yes ,my father was a meteorologist for the m.o.d .omg i could tell you a few stories
Now any time I hear something click....I will be thinking about you 😂😂
Bellissima e bravissima!
Grazie!
Hilarious Di. Cracked me up, as ever. Thanks for the laughs. Need to weigh up if I’ll stay a Libra or not?
So glad you liked it! Be both
I love how geeky and learned you are. And I mean this sincerely. ❤
LOL! Thank you - I have accepted I am a big ol' nerd :)
So funny 😂
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Right on Hehehehe.
Thank you!
No you got it wrong....NASA just forgot to clean the lens!!
Guess what Diane? Pisces and Scorpio (and cancer) are water signs and match each other perfect! By the way, I´m Scorpio and love the dark 🙂
I've learnt more about astrology since making this, and love it! Scorpio is my rising sign!
Lovely @@DianeSpencercomedian
Hey my lovely friend. How have you been? Busy I hope. I've gotten behind on your work. Two back surgeries later I was just diagnosed with two, not but two different forms of cancer in my bladder. It would seem my impeccable past of being healthy, forward and a force to deal with doesn't promise you a place in the future as a healthy specimen. But, I'm a very optimistic person. I am sagittarius after all. Lol I really look forward to your comedy. Love ya, friend.
Hi Randall, Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, cancer is a ... well I want to write many MANY rude words, but that's for talking, not writing. I'm glad you're optimistic, plus you generally seem to have a joyful disposition, and that always seems to favour people in situations like this. Sending you all the good and healthy thoughts and vibes I can. Di x
@@DianeSpencercomedian as long as you continue being funny then the world is a good place to be. I am like a wild animal though. I hate being caged. But if it's for the cause I'll just have to deal with it. Besides, as long as you're on CZcams I'll make it. Anyway, you have a marvelous time and I hope the sun shines for you.
I am so happy
For fun, look up "obsolete constellations". Bufo is the Toad. Aranea is the Spider (but nobody has seen it recently).
Ooo!!! Ta :)
As usual, I had to watch this four times to benefit from your narrative. Your eyes are just so entrancing that I lose concentration and have to start over.
Bless you Jay! Thank you :)
came for the star talk, stayed for the clicking.
LOL!
Your interesting 💚💫🐍
💗
You are still the lovely looking ginger I love to see on CZcams. Great country music parody, also.
Thank you Larry! I really like country and western music. Doug Stone is great.
@@DianeSpencercomedian exquisite color scheme here of your ginger hair, fair skin, and very red lipstick.
That's some Pavlov's dog trickery
??
@@DianeSpencercomedian It's about the "getting hard when hearing jaw clicking" part.
Ah! Ha! I always have the memory of the video as a whole, so sometimes it takes me a moment to work out things :)
Thanks Diane... from one of your VIRGO ex fans lol xx
LOL! Oh Roger, will you ever forgive me... NO! Cos you're a virgo! :p XD
@@DianeSpencercomedian your a bit fishy anyway xx
Diane , any idea as to when you and Kevin will do the next live stream ? ;-)
No plans at the moment - I'm working on another jokes video and he's enjoying VR poker!!
So once again, astrology doesn't really click is what you're trying to say. I get it!
Boom! *Jay drops mic*
I was a Virgo, now I'm a Leo - I think it's an upgrade 😂 Plus now me and my fiancé are the same star sign 😜
(to be clear, I don't believe in horoscopes, I just find this kind of stuff "ocationaly amusing")
You can now get legit matching Leo t-shirts and it suits you with all the cats!!
@@DianeSpencercomedian there are so many cats in our life's - our moms both have cats, Dorian's grandma has two, he has one, I have two, my best friend has six (and two kids!)... Dorian's cat is extremely photogenic, but I still can't convince him to set up an Instagram for her...
Also, everyone born in the same period of 30ish days having the same traits.. Yeahhhhh...
Yeah... hmmmm....
where do you hold your shows? I want to come to see it alive
Well, when not in lockdown, wherever I can Zean! Mainly in the UK, but sometimes I do comedy festivals in other countries, and I will perform in other comedy clubs in other countries if I am invited :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian which bar do you host in uk? I want to see your show
Oh fuckus
😂😂😂😂
Thank you for watching this!
@@DianeSpencercomedian Your very welcome. It was Awesome ❤️
in deed 8:35 , they always have been taurus, or the Sun was in he Taurus constellation at hey birth, as you say, its easy to check, literally just go outside and watch
you amazing lady, why aren't you making more of these videos..? are you also busy in changing your sign!
This is the plan - make more of these. Learning how to do it has been part of the process. Still learning really :) Also, what with covid cancelling all live standup that did something too!
I know you read every one of these and since I have no opinion on astrology, here's a ginger joke:
A redhead came home from an all night squawk early in the morning to her roomate's anxious rebuke, "Where've you been? I was worried sick."
The coy redhead repsonded, 'I shagged a Brazillian man last night. No worries.'
The blonde roommate puzzled over this for a moment and said,
"How many is a Brazillian?"
Ah ha! The joke is that the redhead has to pay for the sex! Which of my ginger groups would you like me to share this to?!
@@DianeSpencercomedian
I'm gonna skip right over the part where my male ego tries to rewrite that joke for a professional comedian. And I learned a long time ago to NEVER correct a redhead. So, in response I will simply presume that your 13th house is in conjunction with Sagittarius and the next time we chat, I will have a better joke.
Now that's something I can use lol! Next time someone cuts me up in traffic, scream out the window "hey, your 12th house is in conjuction with Sagittarius arsehole" that'll learn em
Confirmed as a virgo am a wanker!
Today I learned something, thank you Diane. Will you now be be doing Physics collabs with Neil deGrasse Tyson?
LOL! Maybe that could be the next video... "astronomy vs asstrology" lol!
Even without Ophiuchus the dates are all wrong now anyway since they aren't updated for the precession of our orbit.
I would put up with the clicking
He does... LOL!
Diane Spencer Stand-up Comedian he’s a top man
Excellent nonsense debunction (its a word now.) More please :D
Dual Universe is out for cheap in about 2 weeks. I'll be taking a punt on that for sure.
Nice!
sod that i'm staying a Sagittarius
Wtf a little mouth lol
i'm a virgo....jeess......what eva we did i'm sure we didn't mean it....lol...
Hey, you know how to make the best out of solo time, ain't nuthin wrong with that!
Hahahahaha so astrology effect on psychology is full of shit, who knew lol
I love this woman with all my heart and laughter
So glad you enjoyed it! What a lovely thing to write, thank you Mexican Panda!
Bugger me suddenly things make sense.
Not gonna lie, I am more than content with my Scorpio discourse, but what if I could be an Ursa Major?! Why stop at 13?
Actually, I'm sticking to the original horoscopes or they can throw in the whole constellation. Scorpio describes me way better than Sagittarius does and NASA can't change that.
You stick with Scorpio!
The car park of fuck this....going to put that in the Satnav
The Car Park of Fuck This. How many times have we ended up there...!
Diane Spencer Stand-up Comedian how did you get my address!!
of course the jaw-clicking pisces had to be the one to whine about us virgos.
Enjoy your trade
Thank you Carl
Mrs Diane , you've been away too long !!! so happy to see the new video / but / Kevin did a poor job of the lighting for your face through
most of the video :( right off the bat you reminded me of Morticia Adams !! who I like but nowhere near as much as I like you
She's from the UK, so she has the pasty white gene... It makes it difficult from a lighting aspect... My ancestors are from the UK and northern Europe, so I have the pasty white gene also. I made the mistake of going outside the other day and now I'm as red as her hair... It will be peeling off soon enough and I'll look like an albino shedding snake soon enough... :(
I'm so happy you enjoyed the video. I do the lighting for this! And I actually have TWO massive lights in my face :D I am also genuinely VERY pale. Morticia Adams has a tan next to me.
I am paler than some walls lol
I was once informed that I'm a Virgo with Virgo rising and Venus in Virgo. How much of a w****r does that make me?........ Also Mars in Sagittarius......
You love alone time (Venus) early in the morning (rising). You get angry (mars) but you're stubborn about it (sagittarius). :)
There are in fact 15 constellations on the galactic plane, visible from the Earth. There are of course many others, but only the ones along the galactic plane move across the sky in a way that’s suitable for use in horoscopes. So yes as you say, the Babylonians just happened to pick the 12 that best fit with our 12 months of the year....which by the way, is itself an arbitrary way to split the year, invented by the Sumerians around 4000bc. So our way of measuring time across the seasons and the star constellations we associate with them are all arbitrary and invented by humans. Next time an astrology nut tells you it’s all true, tell them this and ask them to explain how. 🤣
I don't begrudge people something like this to help them get through the day! :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian You obviously have a great deal more patience with people who choose to delude themselves. So wise...you're like a hot Yoda! ;)
I must be a wanker! I know I am the best I have ever had!
That's the spiriti!
Is it just me or came her Last predigtion true 😂
Weird isn't it?? Patterns are emerging!
@@DianeSpencercomedian
The world is turning crazy and the comedians become the sane ones....
#dianespencerforprimeminister
What a mess we could be in...
The ph is pronounced f, the I is silent & the ch is pronounced as K
😜
When does the sun pass through a black hole
I think Tuesday. I'll check.
i have a new star sign for NASA which only consists of only four stars i believe they missed it....
(diagram) _L
(name) idgaf
Sorry i cant answer the survey
That's okay :)
Hmmm... but Ophiuchus is a constellation - not a Star. So therefore does not affect the Star Signs. And anyway - Ophiuchus is an informal member of the zodiac.
So Boris went from being a Tory to a Taury? I'm not sure how to tell the difference 🤯🤪🤯. No wait, I found it. I just don't care 🐱🏍🚬
YES... love that wordplay!
Did you mean tawdry...it all works. And they complain about Clinton
1 because of Stellar drift the maps they are using are out of date
2 because how far the stars are away and the speed of light some of those stars are not there so the maps have always been wrong
Transzodiacians?
Maybe transdestians sounds better.
I like Transzodiac.
Yeah, some cultures favored 12, perhaps because it's divisible by 2, 3, 4, and 6. Yes I use an Oxford Comma, sue me.
I am delighted you use the Oxford Comma, even though I have no idea what that actually is.
It's not that easy to follow "my" destiny. 🤷♂️ Not many women around in central europe with that name, let alone one that wants me following her... 🤔
Wah waaaaaah...! XD
Astrologers are not having a good year. Not only did we learn that a 13th star sign was suppressed by the Babylonians, but the sky has changed since traditional Astrology was developed. The earth spins, and like any top, its axis precesses. Constellations rise and set weeks later than the dates predicted by Astrologers. This is very disruptive. At this rate, we may have to start relying on Tarot or Runes for our divination!
So for the record, you won't felatio a man, because your jaw clicks? Yet carpal-tunnel is ok?
Well actually my dear (also let's be clear, it is not any man, or a man, it is my husband who I adore), it is the time of day. First thing in the morning, YES I choose carpal-tunnel over jaw clicking, because after I have had a cup of coffee, the jaw clicking subsides. First thing it can be very painful. Whereas muscular cramps in my arm are something that I also get when making cakes - also something my husband reaps the benefits from, so yes, if we add the time of day into your questions, and the clause "my husband" I am happy to state my preferences. *sips coffee*
@@DianeSpencercomedian Been watching you for a bit . Keep it up . Love your outlook!!
@@DianeSpencercomedian AH, well that makes sense. Smokes cigarette in agreement.
Lmao, comparing a handy and baking! Cheers and stay safe!
You are both girl and women and
Of course Britsh.
Yes. I am these things!
SJW has gotten so bad there is an extra star sign now
Lol
Dear Princess Diane, NASA deals with Astronomy, not Astrology! And besides, as you are in Europe, shouldn't you be complaining to the ESA?
Oh few cuss, but mostly we go on as NOTHING RYMNS WITH LIBRA!!!
I rymned with a Libra once. It was incredible!
Zebra.... someone pointed out... Zebra!
@@DianeSpencercomedian Had to go all the way to the end of the alphabet to find one.
@@DianeSpencercomedian But only in America, I think.
was quite funny but i feel like you were forcing it. Let it go let it go...
If you wish to generate motion in an immovable object, some force must be applied.