Removing psychological barriers to success/creative expression : overcoming trauma, depression, ptsd
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- čas přidán 19. 11. 2013
- Sam Vaknin Richard Grannon Seminar Liverpool March 2019 "How to Manipulate the Narcissist or Psychopath"
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I've realized through therapy that one of my issues is that when I was a kid, my dad would praise me for my accomplishments, but my mother would become jealous of the attention that I got from my dad and others. So I became a tortured people pleaser who hides the fact that I am able and intelligent. I also fell in with a Narcissist and stayed married for 23 years. I'm coming out of all this just now over the last 7 months. Thanks for all your videos.
I was wondering if you might find Melanie Tonia Evans helpful too? She's a coach on narcissistic abuse also here on CZcams. You might be interested in her healing techniques that seem to help people, and that you can do yourself. Best wishes.
I also hid what I knew when I was a child because of my siblings' jealousy.
"Alot of people who you think are your friends are really not your friends."
Yes, this is my experience.
Mr Mysterious yes, true. Applies to family too.
I just watched Lauryn Hill's MTV Unplugged concert and she talks about how the music industry corrupted her, to the point she stopped making music...
"How did this thing that I love so much so easily and so quickly turn to something I loath and hate?"
She wrote several songs about it and performed them while talking about her experience..
And of course media portrayed her as "crazy and emotionally unstable"
+Ilona Takácsová Its funny I often wonder if she was a victim of narcissistic abuse.
Ilona Takácsová cause she didn't just take the money and run, that's what they considered crazy
My inner critic is so stinkin bad right now. Every time I go to do something good for myself I hear, in my head, " Who do you think you are to think you could be great at somethings." Whewww....pushing through that is brutal. It triggers me and makes my brain hurt. It zaps my energy. It's 100 times harder to learn and move forward. I'm pushing forward anyway, no matter how slow the progress is. I think slow progress is better than no progress.
“Heart broken with humanity, heart broken over reality” 😭😭😭
That’s how I’ve felt. I just am sad, and want to be left alone. 😔
The new me is an empty shell. I'm so tired. Used to be energetic.
Since I was a child I never stopped creating art and went on to college for it. I have had a creative block for a long time and have been trying to find out why. I went to a psychologist about it. He had no clue. You are the first person who in a very creative and artistic way explains a creative block!
I'm going through the same thing now.
Me too!! After I discovered I had Trauma I got blocked from creating art. I’m slowly getting back on my writing.
If only there'd been someone like you for me in my teens, I wouldn't have wasted 30 years bouncing from one abuser to the next.
the throat 'chakra' if you wish to use that word, or just consider it one of the main energy centers of the body is one of *The Will*. Your own free will. people who have been abused, and had their will taken away, and someone else's forced on them, may find themselves drawn to singing/becoming singers as it is a way to remind themselves that they DO have a will of their own, and the right to 'voice it', even if they do not know that is what they are doing, or are even singing songs concerning that issue. in the album/movie of 'The Wall' by Pink Floyd, there is a song called 'Mother', where he begins to explain the "sMother" and the damage she causes him... one chorus goes:
"Hush now baby, baby, dont you cry.
Mother's gonna make all your nightmares come true.
Mother's gonna put all her fears into you.
Mother's gonna keep you right here under her wing.
She wont let you fly, but she *might let you sing*.
Mama will keep baby cozy and warm."
as if she has the right into his adulthood to determine if he can fly, or he can sing or not. people having problems with their own personal will, often have throat problems, or involve their throat/voice as a defense mech/therapeutic behavior. just a little wisdom i came across. it is very interesting to me that one of the absolute worst traumas from my mother, was a time that she found out i was doing something she did not like, flew into a rage, and put her hands around my throat actually strangling me... i did not understand for years, but truly, i had gone against her will for me, and she went after the energy center of mine directly.
That makes me think of the cigarette smokers I know-it can't be coincidence they're severely abused people. Keeping secrets of incest.
Stu VS agreed... my mother smokes three packs a day.
Infinite thanks for your comment.! It let me understand a lot about myself. Understanding is the only way for healing. Thankyou.
Omg! This whole thread!
@Harry Munker, in case of my mother it can be many rather harmless things: being more talented at something, not getting a rather complex worldview of her explained in a very short sentence, not being able to "read her mind" (i think this shaped my empathy "talent" as a child), needing time for myself to reflect on something, having different preferences in almost any area (food taste, aesthetics, etc) and most protest in general. Only saying yes is allowed.
Thank you for this great explanation as to why my creativity is shut down in such a big way...
You Richard are one of the truly brutally honest ( in the best of ways) people on CZcams
I used to say, "The light at the end of the tunnel is a train!"
Young Scouser, you are a joy to behold. Thanks for your bright (but throaty) insights, and I wish you well always.
As relevant in 2019 as when he released it in 2013! Spot on!
Speaking as someone who has had this kind of pain (I'm TS and a frequent target for narcissists/sociopaths because I often sought out those people unknowingly for many years), I can say that it's that shift from "happy" to "body guard" that people often interpret as crazy. They see multiple parts in you and they think you're losing your mind or just "moody." In my case, a lot of people blamed the hormone pills, but it was much deeper than that. And these sociopath/narcissist types have such a superficial understanding of human emotion that they tend to make a big deal of it when they see that personality shift. They perceive it very clearly, but they interpret it as "mental instability," so I had the added angst of people telling me I was losing my mind and I began to believe it. My life from about 2007 to 2012 was complete and total hell.
BAM! You just answered so many of my questions. Why I've been having a hard time trying to create and I want to be creative I want to create, and I do as a photographer and play around with fluid art and it used to be so therapeutic and so satisfying photography was my passion but I've just I've lost the interest and another example is when I first started doing the fluid art I had "friends" on Facebook page wanting to buy some, so I told them, I'd have to get them ready and varnish and all that and then when it was time to sell them nobody would buy them,.. but oh my God but there's just this block this mental and a self confidence issue, and I've been taken advantage of and not being paid what I should be paid , not being emtionally supported and just feeling used, as a photographer to friends and family this all makes complete sense to me. Fear of being rejected. And the whole charging money became the huge issue with me, stressful.
I clam up I freeze, and wondering if a my photography is even any good.. i have cptsd, bpd, depression, anxiety..
feeling extremely creative... flooded with great ideas... yet feel so blocked as far as my ideas being physically manifested.. right on the edge of a breakthru....yes feeling the hate and jealousy around me... i love your videos they really help me... you are my hero. if i had the money i would seek one on ones with you..... in the meantime doing what i can do for myself.... clearing blocked energy in my body.. thank you so much.... i so value what you are doing.... helps so much.and looking at the comments for so many of us.. and you are quite funny too.... still working on loving myself..... (i like me)..... i'm getting better at it..
This is by far the most helpful out of all your videos to me. Little did I realise that it triggered anxiety for me. All the points you mention are reminders that I must have been surrounded by many narcissists. I am troubled that immediately I got a knot in my throat.
Maybe it's because I have been told:
I cannot sing.
I cannot play bass guitar (wrong gender).
I'm ugly according to guys and girls.
My parents ignored my art and writing.
Siblings copied my entire identity and get credit for the same things where I did not.
My best friend replaced me with a girl that looks exactly like me.
Years later my friends and family follow my old friend;
Who likes the exact same things as me all of a sudden. (All my favourite things).
I got beaten up up as a child for being too white for Asians. (God forbid I say this).
I got beaten up as a child for being too Asian for the whites.(God forbid I say this).
The schools I have been to are like Israeli conflicts.
All white Catholics with a wall to separate an all Muslim school. They threw rocks over the wall. Why the schools were stuck to each other god knows. All in Albion (Clue).
I got bullied for being quiet:
I transfered school and got bullied for being new and became quiet.
The vicious cycle repeated many times.
I tried acting and ran out when they gave me the main role for the sound of music musical...
I quit art years ago because people criticised my work. Someone stole my entire works at the end of the year. My teacher hated me and got the class to join in.
My sister stabbed eyes in all my drawings.
In school thugs scribbled on my artwork put on display. They didn't touch others work.
I did teaching abroad in Asia at 18 and my parents ignored me.
A year later my brother is an expert on travelling and languages.
I wasn't invited to family funerals and only told afterwards.
I cannot draw any more. I cannot write stories any more. I cannot learn languages any more. I can barely pick up my guitar/bass without flashbacks anymore.
I feel like Dave Chappelle but since having been an 18 year old girl.
Maybe it's because my dad said I couldn't play bass properly when I can play a Cliff Burton solo. I sound like a show off but I feel at best nothing when I play. Just anxiety because I was never good enough.
People you want raw? I got raw for you.
I have been following you for months now. This is one of the first times I ever felt moved by a video. This is the first time I posted something like this. I hope this is not too controversial. Do you have any advice to overcome unconscious blocks over an entire personality? Maybe that is too much of a big question to ask.
Two words: Tina Weymouth. Women make EXCELLENT bass players. They know right where to sit in the music. Wishing you much success.
The Wrecking Crew's Carol Kaye. Monster bassist.
Milly Moo Ditto.
You are so right Stu. One more thing Rage. I am a musician and I have never seen more criticism , more jealousy or more I am right and you are wrong than in the musical field. Musicians can be like babies. If you don't stroke their egos they will deliberately bring you down to get their fix. Not all of them mind you.....just a generalisation and not meaning to offend anyone.....but it is true. When you play..play for yourself to please yourself and no one else.
Richard is a blessing
Wounded. In the cave. Creatively stomped on.
Natural state is wondering around the house and staying in bed.
+Kymberly Byerly yep
+Kymberly Byerly there now trying to get out and also understand hw so smashed by refusal of loved ones hearing I am in great pain, physical and doing classic reaction of nothing med marijuana helping pain of loss of trust in family is soul searing pain
+Be1More searing pain not new; just exhausted of being able to manage such obvious
Same. I feel like I can't begin a book I'm working on because my daily life is so uncertain and chaotic. It's like that part of my brain was never able to switch on for very long before it goes back to the fight or flight or freeze mode. I either feel safe and able to make notes and outlines my novel, which is when I am most happy by the way, or I'm trying to figure out where I'm going to live, how I'm going to get a good job at age 41, if I should take some more classes, how long it'll take to get my divorce settlement, etc. and if my brain isn't thinking about all of this logical planning type stuff, I'm completely shut down due to CPTSD emotional abuse and depression. That's when I sleep, self-isolate, and obsessively listen to audiobooks/watch therapy videos to keep from thinking.
I hope you're feeling better one year later.
How are you today, Kymberly? That is me. This is the only forum where I feel people gets it. Richard is a( for lack of a better word) a God send.
I understand the What and Why of my trauma and it has driven me underground as you have described.
This internal conflict that I have that prevents me from doing what I love I have distilled down to, in my head, a vital part of the male existence.
The Warrior Spirit. I can't find it.
This spirit exisits in all people but I am speaking to the man here. I see this spirit as a flame that burns inside of us. So, to speak metaphorically, when I watch this channel then I watch your other channel a see a man who has mastered the art of flame management. You have built a raging fire that you stand guard over and protect. This fire keeps away evil spirits and things that go bump in the night. It is the place where you and your tribe feel safe. Sure, sometimes the fire may dwindle due to a passing rain storm but you have the tools to gather more wood and get it raging again. Always controlling it to keep it from burning your huts down.
Me, I have a candle that sits upon the cake at a child's first birthday party. Easily blown out by the newly formed lungs of the toddler. To start this fire again requires the use of rubbing two wet sticks together. I used to have a raging fire but the evil spirits have taken away all of the good firewood, in my mind.
Is your Warrior Spirit solely strengthened by you alone or are there other men in your tribe? Do you maintain this Spririt by teahing others how to be Warriors? Who do you sit around the fire or go hunt tigers with?
I am lacking this and at this stage of my recovery this is what I long for. I want to be a Warrior and be surrounded by other Warriors. Now, I surround myself with no one because the men I come into contact with are impotent and weak. They go along to get along. They look at me like I am retarded when I speak of this Spirit.
My dream is to start a Men's group where we engage this Warrior Spirit. We have initiations, do things as a tribe, push rocks up a hill, beat our chests, help eachother heal our wounds after a battle. It would be a sacred group where outsiders know nothing about our traditions and customs. This is what my life's work will be but like you mention in this video, well, here I am.
Where do I find this Warrior? These Warriors?
This is how I deal with my trauma. I see myself as lacking and I believe it to be the truth.
Great questions, good topic for a video.
***** Thank you for the kind words, I am touched. Your acknowledgement and understanding mean a great deal to me and have made my day a much brighter one.
*****
Yes, my own strength waxes and wanes at times. It is lonely without a tribe. Other warriors that to share experiences with. It seems that within a tribe it is easier to stabilize and keep a steady energy level. You get what I am saying?
Jason Holmes
wow love your warrior spirit speech...I would liken that to a curled up coil of power inside you that will slowly be awakened...it is in you and everyone we just get used to feeling disempowered and weak, might not like it but its a comfort zone...maybe find ways to start to tap into that power little by little so you feel more comfy and at ease with it
Jason Holmes Do something you've never done to find yourself. If you're family is traitorous, your so-called friends, etc.; look to a new venue to allow your "tribe" to find you. Its so ironic that westerners thought they were so advanced and ahead of "primitive people." It turns out those "primitive people" had it right all along. They are so fulfilled without all of the consumer junk that "we" require to obtain "pseudo-happiness."
To the point, I am eventually going to create a forum for people to share their experiences and insight. Your family has nothing to do with blood. That's a blatant lie.
“You actually became heartbroken with humanity itself.” Yes. Perfectly stated. That is exactly what happened and why I’ve retreated into my cave. And the other quote that was really good, “You’re promising, you’re promising, you’re promising but the unconscious stops you.” It’s like you read my mind. I’m glad I’m not the only one, but it’s sad that so many people have been cut off in their prime like this. And it’s so true about the safety thing. Truer words have not been spoken. I’m still having a hard time wrapping my mind around that one.
Of all the people out there trying to help others heal, I love that Richard's approach is not to get people to linger in their afflictions, but to get them to heal and move on, enjoy their lives. Such integrity is not always present in modern healers. Forever grateful that some people honor their integrity. Thank you🙏
Best lecture I ever heard from a life coach. Thank you so much
+Kat Ali I'll second that!
Yes...yes... This is where I'm at right now, just gave up my business, I had soooo much passion for it and now I can't stand to see hear or go near anything relating to it, like it was part of my life whilst I was with my ex husband. I just feel stuck.
Would love to hear more on this in the future if possible.
Love and respect Sally
I truly enjoy your videos Richard Grannon. Such trauma and pain in my life lately but you just have a way of teaching that cuts through all of that and causes me to laugh. Thank you for your work and dedication ❤️
Thank you so much for this video.. This is exactly the problem I'm having as I struggle to regain what was once easy.. There have been a few times in life my as a musician and ski instructor that have been derailed by jealous types who to my shock would go out of their way to sabotage my success for no reason... Now that I understand Narcissist better I realized these where toxic people that I allowed into my life who ultimately betrayed me to the point of questioning my own sanity.. Gas lighting and the human magnet syndrome explained many of the problems encountered in the past.. This concept hopefully is the final issue that will end this struggle... To maintain a connection with music I work locally as a live sound tech and notice these issues don't affect most of the successful touring artists I work with.. I'm sure that has to do with filtering out and recognizing those narcissistic jealous types and surrounding themselves with positive and supportive people...
I'm sharing this video with some of my musician friends who are also stuck in a cave and hopefully we can create a supportive environment free from outside negative influences and get back to doing what we need to do...
Thanks again for finally talking about the one thing I could never understand...
Again, great stuff. An hour can just go by watching these videos ... very engaging.
I too, am learning how to overcome what has kept from...so much. I always offered whoever I was around. Money, recognition, privileges, avenues they'd never have visited if it wasn't for my accompanying them. The food, the cars, the lifestyle...all for friendship and support in my goals. Those productive goals no matter what they are. I wanted to achieve the most. With the security of those I'm around supporting and protecting me. I thought if I gave them what they wished for. It would work. What a ship wreck with each. I do have my productivity down. Now it is to do something with what I've worked so hard for. For myself.
Wow, I know this is an older video, but talk about great timing! Thanks! Explains so much. I’m creative, can draw etc, my narc sister caused so much trauma and not only that has started imitating my drawing , she could never draw and was always jealous of my ability, the trauma and the fact that she has tried to morph into my creativity and sort of take it over has immobilised my art...it’s like I felt she was stealing my identity. She’s really conniving and she would know that me seeing her do art, in any way, even teach to small groups like I used to, would affect me. Now I’ve seen your video I’m so grateful to you for explaining this to me and it’s feeling like I actually can take my power back, whereas before it felt like she stolen it. Sounds a bit strange I know, but I grew up being conditioned by a jealous manipulative mean abusive and violent narc sister and my folks enabled her. Thanks so much for all the free stuff you put out there, I appreciate all your hard work. Respect from an Aussie!
I look at people like you as if you are an angel sent from heaven. Thank you!!
"Fear of Success" you've described my cell. Failed Purpose/Victimized from first bout of fame. "What did I learn, what new boundaries will I set?" THIS. -Glad these older vids come up in the channel feed; I hadn't seen this one. Thank you, Rich.
Richard from the past. Watching this now, doing "the discipline" course you created with Layla Loric. Seeing the Man you've gone through hell to become. I feel inspired. Thank you Richard for never giving up on yourself. The world needs you :)
Wow. I would love to hear more about this. I've been trying to achieve something for a long time but you're right there's a part of you/your subconscious that's saying no because you've let yourself down so many times never finishing what you start and all the hard work that gets put in goes to waste. Your subconscious is not wanting to go thru all that crap again for it to just end the same way. But how to not let it end the same way is the biggest struggle of all.
I just want to say thank you to you for making your youtube videos. I started listening to understand more about how to handle a narcissist/borderline character and now listen for my personal growth and expansion and because of the humour you bring to some heavy topics. Respect and appreciation.
Finding that success had unexpected negative consequences is the equivalent to being punished for being right or for getting the highest grades in a test. Or like being dumped for being the most supportive and inspiring boyfriend ever... for respecting someone and wanting to assist them in their success rather than subtly undermining their confidence in themselves and dismissing their needs, putting them second every chance that presents itself, (like the previous boyfriends from the past by all accounts.) and for that, being cut off forever and called pathetic and told that the only thing that is wrong in her life is the fact you exist or have ever existed, as she runs back to the one who was still holding on after two and a half years while everyone says you are pathetic for "holding on" after week! And for having valued the time you had as if it had been good, means you are not worthy of being respected or of having your voice heard or of being given anything but instant dismassal and exiled from everything that you were involved in because you see clearly that nobody wanted you there and they cannot be trusted. Being ridiculed for having protected and defended the relationship that you had and not accepting the bullshit that she replaced it with in order to justify her own self sabotage... Told your boundaries are poor for standing up for what you believe in against the wishes of everyone else and demanding they answer your questions, means you are people pleasing and had unhealthy expectations...???..... wtf???! and losing everything because what is worth going through that for? Who wants their hard work to end in seeing everything just trashed on a whim because she wanted to sabotage herself. Who wants to be blamed for something they actively campaigned against and resisted every step of the way?
Who wants to be me? I did and look what that got me.... If Mike Tyson's modern equivalent is waiting to knock you down every time you stand up, how many times does one try before deciding it might be time to give up? And, before you think to say, "as many times as it takes," what I mean is how many times before you learn the lesson that life is teaching you? That's another fucking annoying suggestion when it discounts the responsibility being with anyone else.. But seriously there's got to be a point where it's insane to do anything other than stay fucking put... and not even think about doing anything other than that.ever again.
5-6 years since this video came on here...the complex dynamic I'm trying to come to terms with is in the title, and so many on my feed of yours in a row, hit an angle, a piece of this puzzling life experience, and i trust you. your offerings here are the definition of a true blessing
This is 4-5 years old..but the timing of when this came into my life is impeccable. I'm always amazed at the accuracy of your vids...there's just nothing like your stuff on youtube. I'm so grateful that you do this....even years later, your video has an impact. How wonderfully crazy is that?
Uau!Impressive how you can analyze everything with such a clear mind and strike the nail in the head at every step. I had one wow moment after another
You are brilliant and never let anyone tell you different. I am so grateful to you because watching your videos has helped me work through unconscious blocks in at least three different areas of my life. Thank you x
Dear fellow, you have just explained to me in this session why I find it so debilitating to even think of taking up my career again. My partner and I moved interstate and I have been making many excuses about why I have not found another position. The truth is exactly how you explained it. Your detail and humor makes it very easy to listen. Thank you barrel loads.
These videos are REALLY helping me bc you speak what goes unsaid but goes around in my mind thousand times a minute! YESSS I have a MAJOR block & before my husband left me I got recurring throat infections & hadto have my tonsils taken out stage 42!!! Throat chakra muh?!! Unfortunately I did not know about the chakras back then. But I do now. Thank you for what you do. I have more hope. You are a light worker.
I CAN believe how much your videos help me. Your humor is the key. I've always been fun and funny and just the last few years it's difficult to even smile...due to two family members. Both narcissists. One covert, one overt, both sociopaths. I feel like I have been under surveillance all my life and there is no end in sight. So leaving is my only option and it scares the shit out of me. 55 with no real job, no savings, no money and now no family. Just learning about the covert within this last year and ONLY because I'm living on their property and I witness the day to day horror. I would never have known if not for being here and that's why I don't get any support from my siblings that I raised...because she's so good at hiding who she really is, endless triangulating and smear campaigns.
My mom was just the baby maker, I was the caregiver and mother to four...six if you count me and her.
You explained that whole mother, baby thing so well in one of your videos and it made such sense now that I know what she is. She's always saying that she loved being pregnant and having babies. That's it. Now I know why she loved it. God life can be damn harsh.
Thanks to you I'm doing my best to help myself out of this nightmare she groomed me right into. My brother is a groomer too. Same kind and another kind too. Sick.
What an amazing video! Yes, I've definitely struggled with this. I couldn't figure out what was going on with me and why I felt so depressed. I'm typically an ambitious person. This past year I've felt so unmotivated to do the things I loved, but I realize it's because of various situations I've been in where people have either spewed their venom or took advantage of my gifts. And it left me feeling depleted and no longer wanting to pursue certain goals. Thank you for this video. I now understand what is going on with me.
I love this video! I come back to it over and over.
You are amazing! I've been struggling with (Severe) Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD for almost 10 years now and am still stuck. The past few years I keep thinking that I'm 75% healed, but that last 25% just won't let up. I am stuck, believing that I'm unable to work due to the 5 Back Surgeries, Staph Infections, and Septic Blood Stream Infections that I've endured. After I watched you're video I realized that although I might have moved on and forgiven the Surgeons who screwed my back up for life and literally let me die, that there are still other factors at play.
Your video showed me that the other parts of my trauma which involved my step-daughter stabbing me in the back and manipulating my husband, his family, and even my own family to believe that I turned into some kind of lying stealing abusive monster; during a time when I needed love and support more than ever. All of these people know me and my integrity and character, but allow a 14 year old at the time, to believe that every fiber of my being and character changed enough to send me off to a program to get help. I did learn there, that I associated my physical pain with dying. (long story) and my anxiety in the 99%tile of the women's population with not feeling heard. None of them heard a damn word that I had to say.
I feel like I'm unable to work which makes me feel like an incompetent loser. The more I do around the house, the more my assaholic husband criticizes, belittles, and berates me. I have two of the best sons in the world who are 11 and 13. I've wanted to leave this marriage for 5 years, but feel trapped because I don't have any financial independence. I was always a very hard worker before I had my kids and then came the surgeries, which changed everything in my life. I need to find a way to release the rest of this BS, and go out and be successful. I need to empower myself and get away from this unhealthy marriage, with my pathological step daughter who still stays with us when she comes home from school during the summer and every holiday.
Why am I so afraid to take the 1st step? Why can't I just go make something work?
"Because you need to re-map your Brain dumbass" Oh, I drive myself fricken crazy!!!
Anyway thanks for the great insight. I look forward to going and checking out more of your videos.
Great points about suffering from PTSD, never thought about that, as a way of psyching myself out, looking back on my life as a musician, the saddest day in my life was when my song became a big underground hit (success). The instant pressure that I felt to surpass this pleasant surprise, which was really nothing more than a fortunate mistake, was so mind-boggling and frustrating, it eventually drove me out of the business. I did have two other hits after that, but they were so contrived and I could never shake the feeling that I was nothing more than little Tommy Tucker singing for his supper!
"The instant pressure that I felt to surpass this pleasant surprise, which was really nothing more than a fortunate mistake, was so mind-boggling and frustrating, it eventually drove me out of the business." thats a perfect example of what Im talking about here
I am so hopeful watching your videos. Just being understood by someone who has empathy and insight means the world right now. I don't have this all figured out but I am getting there. I am sorry there are so many people with this issue and then again I am grateful to know I am not "crazy" even though I have been told I am for most of my life.
Thank you for this video Richard. Gleaning little bits of info from every video I watch..I'm still looping but doing your emotional literacy course is helping me to step out of the cave for longer periods...
A thousand and one thank you's for being available and invaluable.
Again, you give me so much hope. Thank you. 🙂
Thanks Richard. Your knowledge is deep and generous. Professional musician, successful many years, but a victim of narcissistic abuse all the years I made music. The abuser was always lurking in the background and, according to him, I was never good enough. Of course, I can do it now, make money at what was my first love--music-- but I'm blocked because the trauma I experienced with first, my mother and father, then husband. I now associate trauma with music. It's complicated. Literally heart pounding. This was a great help today. Thanks.
I love your message Richard Grannon. I am publishing 10 books in the US next year about this subject and I am your biggest supporter. I hope to meet you June 2018 at a book signing in Liverpool. The Warrior
Thank you very much. You are very insightful, energetic, open and honest. Your appreciation of though in different subject areas is very rewarding for listening. Great work and a good job well done, as I enjoy other videos as well.
I saw this in self, I had thought people were intrinsically good, and poured energy into everyone, believing a rising tide lifts all boats. I was the naive codependent, became the "sad baby" lol. Now I fear success, but because it makes greedy people try to take what I have, and jealous people beat you down or slander you. They might hate another's joy...anyway, spot on. there's more, you've opened one hundred doors of understanding. My father and younger(middle) sister were malignant narcissists, he raised her to become one, and she feeds off of everyone around her in everyway to this day. I was afraid to admit or show belief in self, believing that if I didn't put myself down, or give everything away, someone else would knock me down and take it, it would hurt less if I kept me head down, and call it being humble. Well, that's ramble, but anyway, thank you. I don't worry at the moment that this isn't good enough of a comment, lol. just thanks.
Thank you for being such a gifted teacher. Your addressing how to unload the mysterious heaviness I carry is 1st lesson I'm learning, practicing, developing & look forward to more in the future. In gratitude, I am happily a new subscriber ✌️
Thanks for recognizing the inner conflict of not feeling able to do something you excel at because of a traumatic experience. I still have a desire, however as you stated. my motivation to 'get back on the horse again' has me feeling more than a bit nervous. You weren't forthcoming or particularly positive about re-entry or return to an old avocation, yet I find my self in a position to return to work similar to what I was doing. Your thoughts about how to navigate internal conflicts are most welcome.
As always, great content and hilarious video! Thank you sooooooo much Richard!
Resonated with me! “War or art” was a great read on resistance and this point but you nailed it in a way this book didn’t and I wasn’t able to express to others when they asked me why I wasn’t singing or when am I going to get on stage? “you’re just too lazy to sing again”.... thank you for this video!
Always thankful man! Very insightful! I think I have to watch it couple of times again to understand the concept and ideas better!
Thank you . You're helping me . Helping us . Helping me help others .
Thank you. I'm finding my way through, and you're a big part of that.
Thank you for making these videos.
Thank you for your wisdom, Richard.
This resonates with me.
❤️
Thanks for the dark cave and wounded animal analogy. You say the things I feel inside, but have no words for.
Thanks for your words, they are helping
This subject resonates with me thankyou for covering it. I keep finding how deeply jealous people become with the success of others and I don't understand how they can't see how distructive this emotion is, it's toxic. It makes people bitter and cruel.
This video is extremely... EXTREMELY valuable! You just helped me answer so many major questions that I’ve had. Thank you for this!
i love what you said about Dave. Thank you.
For all that u do too!
Thank you...some of the things you said gave me some clarity.
These videos are really amazing. Without going into personal things (which I learned from this channel) I'd just like to thank you.
Great comments, made sense. Good information and you hit the proverbial nail on its head. Thanks.
Your great knowledge is so healing. Thank you
This is excellent! Your best one so far, in terms of content!!
Wow! This video really hit home -- to the point and very helpful. I'm a creative person who got totally burned by a psychopath -- and a life history of betrayal. Presently holed up at home with no motivation at all -- burnt out completely. Thanks for helping me to understand what the f-ck is going on -- and hopefully move on!
I definitely go underground when it comes to singing. But I've never had success like you described with Dave and the Karate Coach. Growing up in an environment where being vulnerable was the worst thing to do (all I knew as a child was survival, escapism, abuse, trauma and loneliness), my brain now subconsciously stops me from becoming vulnerable and allowing any form of rejection (why I haven't had the success you described). Singing is a vulnerable thing to do, in my opinion. I'm exposed, seen, heard... telling my/a story.
I have a life coach, who has given me the tools to work through it and shift it. It's very challenging though, but I'm up for the challenge. This video was fantastic, having more understanding and insight definitely helps.
YOu're really good. I am super excited at what the future holds!
I fell asleep listening to another of your videos and woke up to this one. But before waking up, you were in my dream asking me: What is your inner bodyguard telling you? And I amswered: my inner bodyguard always comes when I am the happiest or having fun, to make me serious. Then I cried. After that a whole bunch of people with you, started dancing and singing. I walked out and passed a play park with lots of happy children and they were dancing to a song that came out of the speakers and they all started doing the same dance routine that all kids seemed to know but one. The other kids didn't mind but smiled and said: Its the first time you are doing this, isn't it? And the kid nodded and they kept dancing. When I woke up I realized that even as a kid playing, I was in my mind afraid of and thinking of being punished. This has become my inner bodyguard. But this bodyguard is taking his role to the extreme and can't see the difference between life threatening and when to let the star out and play.
Im currently living in a cave .. Thank you. .. Xo
Seriously thank you ...
I really appreciate your story of Sally the karate instructor, and I enjoyed hearing you talk about Dave Chappelle. I haven't worked in my former field of study in almost 20 years, and I find the things you're saying to be very healing, and validating.
I can totally relate to this. I had a lot of "aha" moments while listening. Like I knew this but didn't really know I knew until I heard it spoken in this way. Thanks for the mind pops - and sanity.
*Kimberly Byerly Got it Right. = How I and I'm sure others currently feel. My dreams of Becoming either a successful Singer/Dancer, A Writer, Graphic Artist and or Oil/Canvass Artist (or Narcissistic of me?) ALL of those things (balanced out of course) have been compromised and/or put on a Major Hold. What's great is I never will give up on hope faith and love for myself and others as I learn these vital tools for now to be a better Human Being towards #1. ) Myself 2. ) Others. I've made some bad choices and decisions from *MOST that you cover in your vids. I'm listening, I'm still learning, I see more than you are aware of! Thank You! If it gets any worse I Promise to arrange a 1-on1 appointment immediately!! Again, You're inspiring me and provoking thought through humor and information broken down to where I get the self examination on a clearer level so Thank YOU!!!! I'll be Watching! *SUBSCRIBED* *LoveandLight!*
I liked this video a lot. Thanks.
Same with my college education and teaching. It was such a draining time (toxic relationships in family and in love, undiagnosed hypothyroidism, a workplace bully, and constant money worries) , I get sick thinking of doing it again. I know I'm in a better place in life to do it again and be successful, but I'm paralyzed with fear of it. I know it's just flashbacks. So, I keep on with my cleaning business where I feel safe. I do love it too.
Watching this now! So many things are helping me on my journey of ‘healing’ and ‘happiness’ and actually many of the things I am educating myself on have similar parallels! However, one thing about u mate is u keep it ‘REAL’ and really make me laugh! Refreshing! Plus the content makes complete sense to me! Keep doing what u do as u are doing it well! U have helped me a great deal! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 THANK U 🌈🤘💫
Wow! Hugely insightful. You have helped me get through the day.
Enjoyed watching this video. Going through my own creative block right now for various reasons. And the painful neck painful swallowing thing. I can relate in what you were saying. Change is having to happen for me and although it is probably the right path ahead for me for a new start, I am deep down struggling with the changes that have to happen. I started a really good how to channel on you tube a while ago, and I have not been near it for months.... want to do it so much, but I seem to have got stuck in a holding pattern ! I have listened to a number of your videos and I can see a few things that resonate with me. And I do share your video's as well .
You are brilliant!
Thanks! Helped a lot, great video.
Subscribed and shared
Damn! Richard, you just read my life! Different profession, but boy! You hit the nail on the head!
Thanks for this🙏
Thank you very very much for describing just what I am going through. Something in my brain just went click and I was like, "hey yeah, that's exactly it". Nice one! x
feck even just hearing your pretend story brought up a boat load of fear of success relating to other people's responses...love your vids, keep em rollin
thanks revive
You did more for my heart & mind in 25 minutes, than 5+ years of therapy. As a writer, I connect to painting pictures with words & creating analogies that provide a gateway to deeper understanding. Ye have a gift for storytellin’, as most Scots dae. 😉
This quote came to mind during your video... “And I felt like my heart had been so thoroughly and irreparably broken that there could be no real joy again, that at best there might eventually be a little contentment. Everyone wanted me to get help and rejoin life, pick up the pieces and move on, and I tried to, I wanted to, but I just had to lie in the mud with my arms wrapped around myself, eyes closed, grieving, until I didn’t have to anymore.”
-Anne Lamott
Thank you for this one, Richard. When I was living in a "former life" I wrote constantly, keeping a blog. It was in a miserable marriage and couldn't see a way out. My stories were not about misery, but about many themes, some of them uplifting and hopeful. Most were good fiction and observances. When I did manage to get out of that life and built a new life, I quit writing.
I'm going to try again, referring back to this video. I think you're right. I feel so safe where I am now, and perhaps I don't want to risk returning to that state of mind I was in when the creative juices were flowing so freely.
The purpose of the blog exercises was to get my chops up for writing that might make me a living if I could get away. I got away, but I am making a good living another way, financially secure, in fact. But I miss the creative outlet.
I'm going to put the Mac back on the dining room table today and see if I have a different perspective.
Again, thank you.
love your mind!
How do you know my life? How did I even find this channel? It's like you're describing my experience! I am that karate teacher!
And it's mad hearing my local accent on this topic.
#Scouse #Scouser
I've watched a couple of your posts and what you're telling me here is the same theme you were talking about in a post you made about self assertiveness and what blocks us.
So the theme from what I can see (as humble yet as insightful as I can contribute) is that the positive becomes a source of supply for the negative! So much so that the positive can no longer perceive itself as such but moreover a weighted force perpetuated towards the neutral extended across time and space.
You are clearly an avid proponent of Martial Arts. Bruce Lee would be a great reference analogous to your topics!
Great job man! I'm learning a great deal from you!
You are such a treasure.
thank you, you're great. I got a lot out of this.
Thank you, as always, Richard. I had to quit my job because of unrelenting harassment by a very envious physician (it was actually mob bullying, but the physician is a psychopath and was the ring leader). I am an expert in my field which is very new to him and it infuriated him that I knew what I was doing. He has a history of chasing threats out of the organization, everyone knows he is "a bad apple', but everyone is too afraid to do anything about it.
At this point I feel that no one is trustworthy except my son.
I am changing fields now because my expertise has caused problems in the past. Unfortunately, I have been struggling with my focus (almost like I have ADHD) and am not working/learning as quickly as I normally do. Now I know why.
I know you aren't coaching anymore, do you think your Discipline class will help?