let's discuss twilights crimes against humanity
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- čas přidán 19. 12. 2022
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intro music: Louie Zong - Cycad Conga - Komedie
The fact that Anna Kendrick once tweeted in like 2018 "I just remembered I was in twilight" is also iconic
INSANE
I read Anna Kendrick's memoir, which I enjoyed a lot, and she was actually so glad for the money she earned on the movie, because otherwise she would have been financially destitute, even after her oscar nom for Up in the air..
@@laurahandl2815 Robert Pattinson actually said the same - even though he was in HP before Twilight he was basically broke. Twilight just saving amazing actors left and right 😂
@@Avrii and then he went from playing a sparkly human bat to an emo batman, what an icon
She’s such an icon I love her so much
The baseball scene was a cultural reset and we weren't prepared for that kind of film artistry
honestly yes
Vampire baseball will always be iconic.
Also, Muse... I listened to it because I am not like other girls...
I'm one of those 8 out of 10 people who experience a mental illness, except I have at least like 3.
PLsss I still refer to SMBH as 'the vampire baseball song' as a joke and it annoys the hell out of my mum
The only thing I didn't like is that I couldn't listen to Muse and not hear about twilight. Was a muse fan since 05ish
I kinda wish Edward kept spider monkey as Bella’s nickname throughout the series just so we could get posts like “she was his spider monkey // he was her world”
thats so true
Agreed. And even better if he used it every time he had to carry her for any reason lmao then I'd believe he'd have a sense of humor
Carlisle being 23 is beyond what my brain can fathom
it's irrational, i mean, aren't you older after med school? lol
Right! Why. It’s ok to make him in his 30’s, stefffuneeee
wait WHATTTT LMAO i totally forgot that and thought he was like 30
What the actual fuck
Considering Peter Facinelli was 37 at the time, just make him 40 and call it a day. 😂
"i don't think 300 year olds and 19 year olds should be together" is a statement i never knew i will hear in my entire life
taking a STAND
And yet it made sense in 2008 😂😂
I thought esme was 26 when she died
@@meghan5769 she was 19 when they met and 26 when she died
Sarah J Maas needs to hear this
if twilight has ten fans i am one of them. if twilight has only one fan and that is me. if twilight has no fans, that means i am no longer on earth.
yes yes yes
Lmfaoo this was literally me in high school 😭😭 I read every book…twice
@@khalilahd. I read it four times💀
Serve!
is this from fucking Letters To Milena lmaoooooo
I don’t think that Kristen and Robert gave their worst performances, it’s just the way the characters personalities were... so they did a great job really
Extremely awkward and a bit creepy. Not just true to the books, but true to most of our high school experiences. My teen years were very awkward, and there were some really creepy boys and teachers who I thought were cool and now just go _ew_ at.
Maybe Stephanie was onto something..... maybe..... maybe Twilight is a hyper-realistic fantasy version of reality, that everyone thinks is okay at the time, then gets to age 25 and goes _yikes_
Maybe that's how movie characters were written but that's not how they were in the book.
@@cutierenesmeegirl wrong
Kristen and Robert are both fantastic actors, they just had terrible material to work with (both the books AND the movie scripts)
@@thatdisabledprincessAnd with the directions given to them 🎬
Bella not caring about Edward's red flags a.k.a. him saying he's a killer just gives off the same vibes as those internet girlies who are obsessed with actual serial killers
This isn’t a thing. This can’t be a thing. I do not want to believe this is a thing.
@@Hessed3712 sorry
@@Hessed3712 😬😬😬
@@Hessed3712 Bundy, Manson, Dahmer, Ramirez.. they all had fans since their crimes were first publicized 😬 a lot of it is the “but i can change him!” mentality
My absolute favorite joke about this series is "Oh she's like a bull. She sees a red flag and just runs at it." Ryan George Pitch Meeting on this film still makes me die laughing.
i honestly watch twilight whenever a minor inconvenience happens in my life like cmon it's so fun! cinematic masterpiece right there!
i love that!
WHY IS THIS ME?
You lost your job? Twilight. That time of the month? Twilight. Someone cut you off in line? Twilight. 😂
Preach
@@amberoliver9759Finished the Harry Potter movies again? Twilight.
thinking about that time i had a twilight themed party for my 8th birthday.... nothing will ever compare and I didn't realize how iconic it was at the time
omg thats actually so iconic
I now want to have a twilight themed 28th birthday party 😂
@@loftyradish6972 do it
@@loftyradish6972 yes. i'll gladly be there in spirit
STOPP i had one too when i was 9💀 my invitation was so iconic
not to expose myself LMFAO but i read a fanfic about jacob/edward bc i WAS CURIOUS??? and the one thing that stuck out to me was edwards siblings were like “yeah idk man she just seems obsessed with turning into a vampire idk if she actually loves you.” and now every time i think about/see anything twilight i just think about bella having a hard on for turning and that being her whole thing
okay love this angle
sure, i just feel like if Edward could become human she would give zero fvcks about him
@@fcd1996 I agree
So like… what’s the fic name?
I remember rewatching the films after like 10years and SEVERELY mishearing a line (I was eating w/o subtitles) and thought that when Bella asked to be a vampire, Edward’s one condition was “an end to forever” (pretty sure he just says marriage. Don’t ask me how I got there) which led me down a spiral of they never loved each other they just loved what the other had I.e mortal/eternal life and so the deal would be thatBella gets to be a vampire with him but the moment that they start regretting the ~unalive~ but then I replayed the scene and got disappointed with what actually ended up happening.
Bella was so depressed throughout this series that she just doesn't care about anything... "I can read minds" "ok", "vampire" "uhm, my cousin Hall likes to pretend he's a vampire that's a tuesday", "I want to eat you in the most literal way, I want your blood in my mouth" "yes, that's ok, just do it" ????????????
I think everyone should watch twilight just for the Bella, where the hell have you been loca!
iconic moment from new moon
Bella, an empath, sensing there's danger in the room when Casper tries to kill her
CASPER 😭
It hits different when I view it as a documentary. This is fully Animal Planet stuff and we never realised, they just went with it.
i love that
Bella is giving the “go girl, give us nothing” vibes 😂
Bella really said "Who said I can't wear my converse with my dress??!?!!?"
Can we also talk about the fact that in one of the later movies (I think it was Eclipse?), Jasper busted out a random southern accent that he didn’t have in any of the other movies 😂😂
I'm dead
Well we gotta keep the Confederate Vampire trope alive and well. It's kind of like in Wizard Boy where in the early movies Lavander Brown is portrayed by a black girl in a glorified extra role. Then when we get to the point where the character needs to be a major player they recast her with a white blondish girl because Turf author finally gave her a description as being white in a book.
Battle scharsssss
I honestly think it's so funny but also he barely speaks in the first two movies 😂😂
@@kevinsmahomie i think he was preventing himself from opening his mouth too much and breathing bc he would smell bella’s blood. in the last film bella has to not breath so she won’t kill her own dad.
"When you're about to get hurt, but thank God your stalker was there!" So true! 😂
That Jasper scene is in the beginning of New Moon,where she gets a papercut from the gift she was given on her birthday.
i know im sorry i mandela effected it into this movie
@@uncarley I thought it was this movie too lol
I literally paused the video to ctrl+F "papercut" and find this comment
I need a New Moon review…the drama in these films is camp
omg yes
When you said Carlisle is a crusty old DILF, I was borderline offended
But then I realized I’m attracted to AND inspired by the likes of Geralt, Aragorn and literal Dracula from Castlevania
I’m currently looking at my shaky hands, questioning myself like I never did before.
"a little known band called the Beatles" the main character in Again, But Better is FLABBERGASTED that another character in the book has even *heard* of the Beatles, truly a wild read
i LOVE that
I binged the entire series in high school when the last book came out/right before the first movie. The way I was obsessed is deeply disturbing to me now lmao. I remember when New Moon came out in theaters, the entire theater (including me🤦🏼♀) SCREAMED when Taylor Lautner took off his shirt......
OMG
HOW DO YOU BREAK OUT OF THE OBSESSION HELP
i love the way you dont take yourself too seriously ahahha
@@Daemonussy you gotta go through to get out....I called it OTD (Obsessive Twilight Disorder - read it in a blog, not my invention). I reread the first book approx 4 times, had the movie on constant replay back when....
I think a deeply rooted sense of taste saved me in the end. The books are SO badly written. Adverbs galore, and always the same (I actually did a Word search count on several...😆).
I kept thinking - couldn't he use his superpowers for good? Why high school? Homeschooling not an option in Washington, or Canada?
Get well soon, it's an affliction with guilty pleasures. Go cold turkey if you have to. 🍀
I went with a girlfriend because she had an extra ticket. I had immediate regrets upon arriving. Our theater did the same thing. These women were comfortably middle aged, and the actor, even if not an actual High Schooler, was a very young guy. I was so grossed out.
I know it’s cruel of me to ask but can you please do all of the twilight movies??? This was so funny; I need this to live on the internet forever 😩😂 Do it for the culture I beg 🙏🏾
@@ElianaRosalind I WATCHED ALL OF THEM LOL. Even Mike's Mic. I NEED MORE! 🤣
@@acbrand03 have you watch the cinema therapy ones? They sum twilight up as "magic girl fix broken boy" I laughed so much.
Why did I expect you to say: "Starring everyone's favourite lesbian Alice Cullen."
The gay panic Alice and Bella have over me since I was 12 years old will never leave me.
Alice was the reason I finished the film and books even if I felt that the whole series was a dumpster fire. She's probs one of my gay awakening moments.
No literally like it’s obvious Alice is fruity from the way she dresses, her hair and the way she talks… especially in the books. Girl literally declares her love for Bella multiple times and I’m here for it (she was also my reason for reading the books as a kid and I remember even reading the part of new moon where she came back TWICE cause I was so obsessed)
@Peut-être toi Best moment in the entire series! And all the E-Mails Bella wrote to Alice? These moments live rent-free in my head.
TEAM ALICE
Yes, I literally watched everything Ashley was in afterwards, was so obsessed with her.
As a twihard teenager in early 2008 I was completely obsessed about every inch of this. It was never a good movie but in my case... it was a way to embrace my "sad girl" vibes. Bella Swan was my hero and nobody can deny that the soundtrack and score are a bang even nowadays
Legit bought my 16 year old sister the New Moon soundtrack so she can have a proper musical education 😌
@@jessica23claire 🤩THA'S WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. The musical impact that new moon' soundatrack had on me, it is still my fav from the whole saga
This was me too! I loved every bit of it’s toxic representation of a sad teenager
My obsession with twilight started when I saw a lot pictures of a sparkling white man in my moms college notebook (she printed them and took them with her everyday) when I was 6.
We watch the entire saga every year since then.
i love this
your mom is an icon
I recently turned 25 and decided I wanted to force my friend to watch all the twilight movies with me. My birthday gift to myself was getting to see their face as they learned jacob inprints on a baby for the first time. 10/10
Can you believe my English teacher didn’t want me to do a report on Stephanie Meyer. He says I have to do a report on someone who actually contributed something but if she wrote the book this movie is based off of than yes she did contribute.
Yes I can believe that
But that's a short report 😄
She had a dream, she wrote a book based on it.
Then she changed the book and made it into 4, adding a love triangle because YA fiction IS love triangles. Ka-ching. Lots of Mormon values in her books. Bad writing style. The end.
No, no, he has a point
She definitely contributed to many things, it could actually be a really strong report since it is a book series that possibly created the most fierce public discourse about healthy/unhealthy relationships, and hey, its over a decade and we are still talking about it and analysing the relationships within it. I think it could make for a fantastic report.
Also, I was a teen with dyslexia who hated reading. Twilight got me to love reading and then I graduated onto better books. Now I'm that person who has over 1000 books in my kindle library, and a bookcase stuffed full at home too (and I read them... multiple times), and it was Twilight that started my love affair with stories. Credit where credit is due, she helped turn a generation of girls into readers.
officially finished my bachelors degree as of last night... this video is a great gift thank you bestie
CONGRATULATIONS!!
CONGRATS HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE THOUGHTS IN YOUR BRAIN?
I DID ON SUNDAY OMG SLAY TOO
GO OFF ACADEMIC GIRLIE WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT!! ❤
Gongrats!
"Her name is Bella ⁓ . Make her spaghetti ⁓ " - I got a stomach cramp from laughing so hard... 🤣
I truly will never stop loving Twilight, absolute comfort movies and books for me and I am a full grown adult
love this journey
twilight scratches my brain in so many ways it’s like a drug
Twilight is our own personal brand of heroine.
The first movie was amazing. The colour and vibe of it was so mysterious. The whole green blue lights were depressing and sort of went well with the vibe of Forks and Bella's depression about having to live there tolerating cold weather new people around her. It was very on theme. The rest of the movies felt like the first harry potter movies. And the Catherine Hardwick one is like the azkaban one lol idk
I hate to be that guy but: Bella getting a paper cut and being almost murdered by Jasper is part of the second movie which basically sets up its entire plot...
Came here to say this 😅
I could literally talk about twilight forever i love it sm
my ted talk should be about twilight
Are we talking about when Edward is at the hospital pretending to be asleep while Bella’s mother is in the room, one of my favorites scenes, when I noticed that I laughed so hard
I love that you casually accidentally threw in the inciting incident from the second movie in there by accident 😂😂😂 Carly you are SO hilarious, I think you may have my favorite sense of humor on this platform
PLEASE do the rest of the movies! I need to hear your thoughts on “where the hell you been loca??” And CGI baby reneseme 🤣 also I’m glad u acknowledged the Italian scene that’s gotta be one of my favorite scenes in that movie.
The fact that I watched New Moon because I wanted to see Taylor Lautner's abs but I was also in denial of being Bi at the time and did mental gymnastics on why that is absolutely Not the reason I wanted to watch New Moon 🤣
I was obsessed and repulsed by this franchise and I am not ashamed to say that I will one day get myself to read all the books
so just yesterday i DID binge all of Mike's Mic's videos about yes, the very same franchise, and now this, and i think this is the universe signalling me that I have to go rewatch this movie again (also bestie can't believe you didn't mention the iconic blue filter that was used for the entire film that they never brought back for any of the other movies, i felt like i was sitting in a rainforest watching this movie)
YES REWATCH YOU NEED TO
@@uncarley ALSO THE OST. HOW DO YOU MAKE SUCH A TERRIBLE MOVIE WITH POSSIBLY THE BEST SOUNDTRACK I'VE EVER HEARD
@@Thevitan13 THIS!!!
@@Thevitan13 THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING *BEST* SOUNDTRACK !!!!
(of a live action movie, spirit canNOT be topped)
this, every time i watch the newer movies, i change the levels of my screen to be as blue as possible. not the same effect but it’s close enough :’)
dying for a follow up on the sequels. it doesn't get any better from here out, and i love it for that
My biggest accomplishment in life is that I made my whole class watch Twilight at school during music and boys were INVESTED. I love it
The most unrealistic thing in Twilight is that there’s anything to do at night in Port Angeles (other than bowling).
Had to pause this video to watch the iconic baseball scene. Twilight is kinda turning in to a christmas time movie for me now...... Another 10/10 video
its got winter vibes!
Edward telling Bella he can read minds and her immediately believing him and the same vibe as me at 12 convincing my friends I was a mermaid.
i just woke up from surgery, so my experience watching this chaotic masterpiece is iconic itself
Get well soon✨
@@supritis.004 🫶
I love both but I can’t help but be offended on the hunger games behalf for being compared to twilight in the camp department 😂
I've seen a lot of Twilight commentary videos (and lived through being a fan at 18 myself) and I did NOT believe in 2023 that I would see someone still able to add commentary on it!!!! Love it ❤️
Making fun of twilight has become one of my new hobbies. It’s just so enjoyable and easy!!
its so fun
We need all the twilight movies! ‘Bella has never had a thought in her life and we love her for it’ 😂😂
her name is bella
✨🧑🏻🍳 🇮🇹👌🏻 make her spaghetti 👌🏻🇮🇹🧑🏻🍳✨
i said what i said
I really thought there was gonna be a point in the end but there wasn't, this was just a very entertaining recap of Twilight, and honestly, we stan. 10/10 would watch you do this for every movie
Vamps don't like period blood because it's dead blood.
Also the paper cute scene is new moon.
And jasper isn't the newest vamp. He's the newest vegetarian
Okay, Carley, but please make this into a series. This commentary is just too good to end here. 🙏
Ok I'm obsessed with your jacket but the real star of this show is that blanket. Iconic.
omg thank you so much
You did not just call Carlisle crusty!😂😂😂
IM SORRY
When one of my best friends was getting married we watched twilight and breaking dawn part 1 ( aka cutting the bs) on the bachelorette weekend during various hungover/getting ready periods. Then the night before her wedding we watched breaking dawn part 2 while stoned. 10/10 would recommend cried laughing several times.
I convinced my old neighbor that I was a vampire for over a whole month and she genuinely believed me and was preparing for a vampire werewolf war that I told her was happening
I couldn't stop laughing throughout this whole video. I've only seen Twilight once and it was major cringe (I was already in my 20s when it came out), but I really need to watch that baseball scene again
omg thank you! you should rewatch its a RIDE
Doing a first time read of the book at the moment (had an anti twilight phase when it was popular) and the amount gaslighting when Edward saves her is insane. She does not give up
My mom was the biggest twilight fan when the books came out, and we just watched this video together and died of laughter; so thank you for the immense joy Carley ❤️🫡
i just rewatched this movie 2 HOURS AGO. impeccable timing, i can feel the girlboss energy synchronizing
what a beautiful topic of today’s discussion. thank u queen for your creativity
class is in session
honestly i got into muse before i knew about this film and most muse fans hate that its the "twilight baseball song" but i think its something to be PROUD of, we made it into the twilight movies THREE TIMES babey!!!!
remember how bella brought the pepper spray to meet draco malfoy at the ballet sudio 😭
I remember reading the books in high school and being OBSESSED then going to the movie premiere with all my friends and everyone in the audience SCREAMING for the entire two hours (including us)
Okay I am LIVING for the books in the fireplace behind you. Thats sickening. I adore it.
This was great, I'd love to see you do more stand up kind of videos on different things like this.
thank you! i love making these ill def do more soon!
This video just cured my burnout from 3 months 👏🏼
I just recently rewatched the movies and the DILF thing is REAL.
Back in the day, when I was a teen, Jacob Black was everything to me but today, with 32 years old... I need a Carlisle or Charlie spin off 👀
This is the video that i have been waiting for that I didn't even know i was waiting for
so happy to help out
@@uncarley paying the contributions to society that we need
As someone who read all the books as a teenager and went to all the midnight premieres (I was 14/15 when the first one came out and yes they were actually AT midnight back then lol), this is all so full circle to see 😂
My biggest flex is I went to the school where they filmed the cafeteria, science, and locker scene and every once in awhile I’d be walking around and then remember and be like ✨supermassive black hole🧛🌲golden onion🌝it’s the fluorescence 👀and I don’t just surf the internet🏄♂️who’s he🫦✨ but now they tore it down and rebuilt it so historical monument gone🤷😔
The hunger games comparison was uncalled for lol the hunger games is just good. Not even bad good.
I feel so blessed to be a zillennial so this could be my entire childhood and adolescence. The fact that someone has a sleepover in 6th grade that was twilight themed and during it I made a facebook account will always live in my heart.
i lived and breathed twilight as a teen, i thought it was immaculate and any one who criticised it had no taste😂 now i see how BAD it is but it still has suchhhhh a special place in my heart, its my comfort movie
the way that this wasn’t really bad acting but more robert and kristen acting their characters exactly the way stephanie meyer wrote them
I just finished reading the twilight series for the first time. great timing for this video
omg iconic
This is my intellectual study of choice
absolutely
Carley caught me washing my face and now got me pausing every second laughing my ass off 😂 ❤
love a skincare moment
I love how much the fandom both loves and hates Twilight
Edward: *transports*
Bella: ur rlly fast 🤔
Edward: mmm nope
edward: youre crazy actually
i remember as a 12 year old all my classmates even my cousin used to to be obsessed with this series that i once looked it up on youtube and watched some romantic clips between bella and edward but till this day i never get to watch the series and i'm turning 21 next year
hahahaha i love that
I just binged all of the movies back to back marathon style and there is a lot to be said about religious/spiritual manipulation and teen dating abuse!!!!
yessss. i never knew i needed this until u posted it
honestly glad to provide this service
Omg Bella is a total the smiths girlie for sure
heaven knows shes miserable now
carley coming through with two videos in the span of a week is better than any christmas gift idc
🥺🥺
I followed you initially for the book humor but I’m so glad you’ve branched out and do whatever tf you want now because no matter what your content is I want it
Cowboy boots, Garfield shirt, flowers - a whole vibe, 10/10 would wear, if I went out ever.
I'm so glad someone pointed out the period thing cuz I wonder that about Vampires but to ask that I'd also have to accept the level of unhinged I am 😂😭
This video was also a cinematic masterpiece, the screenplay *muah* no but seriously Carley i love u and ur content so much! i will always pick up what u put down cus u slay very hard :’)))
Dilfs, the untold reason I was obsessed with Twilight.
Wait, I never read the books, is Jasper the newest turn??? I thought he was a confederate soldier??? How does that work??????? 😭😭😭
we weren't ready for the iconography that would result from alice's high kick in the baseball scene
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I love your video so much - you say everything I've ever thought about this movie and more! And still... every so often I get the urge to watch Twilight and I don't know what sinister part of myself this desire stems from because my head knows full well that it is BAAAAAAAAAD. Especially acting wise.
I don’t trust people who don’t like twilight… like no one is saying it’s the best quality film but overall it’s peak cinema. Like the blue filter?!?! The drama?!?! The bad acting?!?! 10/10 film series
the blue filter is everything
@@uncarley omg 1 yes it’s so incredibly iconic and 2 I cant believe you replied ilysm!!!
13:50 "Her name's Bel-l-la, make her sp-a-g-g-hetti-i." Carley's humor is so underrated.