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"Concept of people who over-function and people who under-function. I learned that my over-functioning is one of the ways that I cope with being disconnected. Because it makes me feel busy, it makes me feel productive, like I'm doing something. It's a way we're trying to regulate ourselves. But we're oversourcing by over-functioning. Coping mechanisms are not inherently bad, it's just are they useful at the time, healthy? To stay protected" Love this. I see it in toxic coaches - they give advice for socially anxious to be busy. Yet - people who struggle with anxiety issues - do over-think. They are already too busy. So this "advice" to be busy and find something to work on obsessively confirms their intrusive worry and inner critic to stay stuck in hypervigilance mode. "Disconnection from yourself is the ultimate trauma. Authenticity versus attachment. Authenticity gets sacrificed when attachment is threatened. “I won't be loved so I'll suppress my true self”." Thank you for this. This reminded me what I have forgotten when I started to learn about Complex Trauma. One commentator on my social anxiety reddit forum told me that she does not understand how to be truly self, authentic, what does that mean. And this is common question to anyone struggling with social anxiety - due to ACE and AcoA - where we were exposed to operant conditioning of punishments and criticism 24/7 and fault finding and catastrophizing daily errors and events. This is deep - being authentic and trusting our Self - means that we do not listen to CBT which explains social anxiety as being over sensitive and as our imagination. Trusting and validating our Self - means trusting our anxiety. It is there for a reason. When we struggle with anxiety - it means that there are toxic people out there. And trusting our feelings - means that we do not suppress them as CBT explains to socially anxious. And this is where it gets deep. When we validate our emotions and feelings - for the socially anxious it means that we need to investigate where we live and what toxic ambient it around us. Chances are we are in dysfunctional households and shame based culture country - where people are intrusive and shaming. And this means that - trusting our feelings and emotions of anxiety means tectonic changes ahead - cutting toxic people and relocating from the toxicity. Because everyone knows that we cannot control other people and we cannot talk or communicate with toxic people because they are stubborn and ill. And this is now problem if we are unable to move away - due to finances or contract or red tape. And that means - that the only way out is to become "crazy". IF we no longer suppress our anger and feelings of terror as reaction to abnormal and aggressive and intrusive and sick people - we will become crazy ourselves. Borderline. I believe trauma occurs when we try to block our natural reactions to abnormal people - and we end up being stuck in fears and panic and anxieties due to our attempt to regulate our ambient and to fix people around us who are the cause of panic and fears. We twist ourselves into pretzel - and that is the trauma. The solution is - to move away from toxic people whenever possible - and if we are not able to do that - we need to allow ourselves to get angry at people who are terrorizing us through micro-aggressions and childish behavior which we learned in ACE childhood to internalize and personalize as our fault and duty and obligation to fix. I see self-awareness about what is happening - that it is not our fault and that we do not need to twist ourselves to please others as healing from trauma - and then slowly moving away from toxic people - instead of trying to please them and fawn to them. That would be true self and being authentic.

At 14 my first goal I ever set was to have 3 meaningful conversations a week. I knew if I could accomplish this goal it would be a great week. Now I just talk or not with myself. Happy to subscribe. Hungry for real talk.

Gabor’s words and work have helped me to initiate the discovery road to healing. Thank you for the great question on how the disconnect presents itself now, wanna use it in my daily life.

Yes, yes, yes! I ❤ you and how you inspire me to be brave. I'm entering my "unraveling era" (nod to Taylor Swift). I'm looking forward to stillness, slow progress, and re-remembering who I am. 😊

You shut the information away. It can come back in deep Meditation. I'm speaking from experience.

True beauty is internal and radiates outward. You are radiating! Good talk!

Have started experiencing this pain as well. And the change happened rather rapidly. Guess we have to try a little harder, and if we don't care we simply won't hold the info. Oh well.

Thank you for this. I have discovered you recently and find you very likeable and different from other "motivational coaches": I am looking forward to seeing what you may post in future. Much love to you and have a great day. <3

You are wonderful. Thank you for your wisdom and insight. Also, you have a very pleasant voice! Have a great weekend. <3

Hi

Short & sweet! Thanks for sharing IFS with the world! 🥳

That's beautiful, thank you

34 minutes. Omg

Super love it when you fractal infinity connect.

I love it when you come in with "it's gonna be really good."

Love this!!! :) Thanks for doing what you do.

This is really inspirational Allison....I've been considering IFS training and this now feels even more clear as an ambition🙏 Thank you.

I totally relate regarding looking at coaching differently now that I am trained in IFS. Love the insight about relationships being what it’s about - inner relationships

Than You very much for this

“Our parts are frozen in time”. 😮

I’m always in awe of the dynamics and synergy of Groups.

0:23 chat-elegant-girls.online

Thank you.

I remember those fairies :)

loved this.....fellow coach who needs to daily give myself permission to be more myself. Love it.

I have a great resistance against the cookie-cutter models for business. I like your approach a lot better.

Wow, sacred contracts, I just learned that from you. Thank you, love your posts

Wowzers! Just listened to your scope on the way to work. Such great information and insights. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge, skills, and world with us!

This is my favorite of all of your videos ever. Just saying.

How could there be NO comments here!? LOVE LOVE you, sista!!!!! YOU are amazing.

Really inspiring video. I'd love to do the same.

Great message to hear for the day. I promise not to be a secret.

You may have no make on, but you sure have a gorgeous smile! Thank you for this... I needed to hear it

Love the Friday FB Face!

Thanks for sharing Morgana.... It was actually a metaphor I first learned from a writing teacher about writing and then I realized it worked for money too! Funny how there really are no new thoughts. I'm thankful to be introduced to your work. Thanks for the comment.

Hi Allison. I think you got the idea from me. I started teaching this idea over a decade ago. (Here's my PBS interview from 2006) I'm glad it's working for you! Warm regards, Morgana Rae morganarae.com

I'm releasing something big, as soon as I can get those words across my lips

I'm not a fan of the cookie-cutter model either :)

What if money were your lover?