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Aaackkk!!! Please recall that the absolute best things in life come BECAUSE of the bounty of an ADHD (or other ND) brain. The brain is not the problem: society and imposed norms are the problem.

When my girls were small and would make a lot of noise, I just put cotton balls in my ears.

Trouble is that a lot of these symptoms can be signs of borderline personality disorder or other mental health issues.

This is all so true. I'm a late diagnosed ADHD parent of neurodivergent kids. What's interesting is that this is the first time I've considered that my mother probably had ADHD too 😂

Jesus christ, me and my son both have ADHD and I struggled with all these things but fully got myself diagnosed at 23 and my son at 8. So we've always grown up understanding each others short comings, and supporting each other when we see our ADHD is being disruptive in the home. God, I'm so grateful. It wasn't just me or just him. Not sure if that's weird, but yeah. We've got a great relationship and even share adhd memes with each other, lol.

I think there’s another side to this- I’d like to hear more about why neurodivergent parents are great! I know I’m a great mother, I’m not at all worried about negatively impacting my children, because although sometimes I get overwhelmed or shutdown or avoid situations I know I’d struggle with, the positive massively outweighs those things. Examples: I’m really considerate of their needs for one thing, I’m a guide to help them figure out accommodations for themselves, in a way that no one helped me as a child. I have a lot of alternative ideas about what a good life looks like, we live very intentionally, appreciating all the small pleasures, we live at the pace that suits us, we home educate (and yes, they have got plenty of friends that we see very often). Giving them a great experience of childhood is my chief special interest!! I’m really creative and fun, I haven’t lost that childlike joy. This isn’t supposed to be bragging, but merely some examples of why having an AuDHD parent can be wonderful 🩵

This made me cry.. i dont know if i have ADHD or not but can certainty relate to some of the symproms.. disorganisation in mornings, inability to focus when there are too many tasks. I organise but to a certain degree. Cant organise completely

Is the the meaning of procrastinating? You sound anxious. I only at the beginning of the video. Judt finished the video. Glad you found some help in your perceptions beong projected on your son. I appreciate your emotions being shown. I hope you find being able to express them on video shifts your awareness to them. I could not express myself over my life and found when i did i experienced a shift in my awareness. My anger found a release . Good luck

SO VALID. This is EXACTLY the feeling being late identified and having undiagnosed family members.... I feel like my role in the UNIVERSE is to break generational patterns and NOT raise my kid the same! "You're FINE! BE GOOD! (or else...)" is medical gaslighting to a neurodivergent child presenting VALID special needs... Ignoring the kid's life experiences only complicates the unpacking in adulthood when it's EVEN HEAVIER DAILY DUTIES (as we know)! Much Love NDM! Thanks for the vid! <3

Just found your channel a couple of weeks ago. I am a senior that only recently found about being on a spectrum. It was great to find this about myself although being much older now I cannot find the endurance needed to implement remedies. I find connection with you when your emotions arise in your talks . With all these years of therapy I had the therapists never appeared to understand my emotions. Thank you

Yeah uncomfortable, very uncomfortable. I think it's basically my worst fear that I'm not a good mom, that I'm doing damage to my kids. I know things that have happened r very bad, like things I have said, and my daughter will probably remember, maybe not my son, maybe they won't remember but they'll probably remember some stuff. I so often say things impulsively, I don't really filter, the idea of trying to filter what I say feels threatening in fact because I think if I tried to b more in control of it I would just b so in my head I'd completely stop being authentic, almost say nothing. People seem to often encourage really thinking things through before u say it but that's too much for me. I'm really feeling very anxious lately. Some stuff from my past is sort of affecting me, about my parents. I don't know how to handle it. I've been writing a lot, which is definitely good but idk, things r really hard right now.

Hi I'm a neurodivergent mum to two neurodivergent kids I wanted so much to say thankyou for talking about the things most neurodivergents seem afraid to talk about I've been waiting so long for someone to really address the issues experienced my neurodivergent parents, autism advocacy communities rarely address these topics. Many will feel uncomfortable with what you have to say, but know that there are those of us who feel truly seen and heard by your words. Please don't stop talking about these issues even if it makes other people feel uncomfortable sometimes people need to hear the things that make them uncomfortable.

Did I have ADHD; Or did I have too much responsibility and little support/inconsistent support from the other parent?

My family all have undiagnosed ADHD and myself I feel such a failure and so guilty for not being the best mum for my children

When I had issues growing up - I was calmed down by my mom who would say "I was just like you, your grandpa is even worse", then my daughter had issues too. Turns out our whole family tree has ADHD! My grandpa was extremely talented in several art-fields and math but also a hoarder and sometimes dysfunctional. And we all are very talented, so everyone around us would go about any issue of ours "Yeah, that's expected from creative people" "They're this messy family of artists and musicians", I am the first person to ever even hear the term ADHD...

Your mom said autism traits exist in the general population.

This may help with my relationship with my children

Bless your heart and give grace. Mom’s are falling asleep because we are tired as hell. While the kids sleep in until 8 am Mom (and dads) are up at 4 trying to workout, pack lunches and get a head start on a work project so they can get off early to pick up the kids to drive them to tutors and soccer and band and finish homework and cook. They are not going to bed until late because they need to get the kids ready for bed and read those bedtime stories (can not focus because I have been up since 4 am and I still need to clean the kitchen so I am not a bad mom). Sorry got off track must be my ADHD. Maybe the mom is crying or being emotional because that is how she feel and everyone think parents are not human and not allowed to say being a parent is hard work. Maybe out of the blue she threw the family in the car to take a trip to the beach without planning it out because it’s hard to find the perfect time because life is busy and sometime you just have to drop life to go have fun instead of planning it all out…..let’s just go do it. Maybe there is a pile of laundry and dishes on the sink but did I go to work to make money to take care of my kids, are my kids need met before my own……yes absolutely ….everyday all day. But I completely understand your need for routine because you are on the spectrum, my son is on the spectrum. And the ONE thing that I made sure he did not have on purpose was a routine…..because that is not how the world works. To survive my kiddo needed to be able to adjust. At age 3 he was non verbal. He is now a college graduate living on his own and is able to adjust as life dictates. Parents do not have ADHD. We have love and trying to do our best and because it’s not perfect and in order and not completely done all the time does not mean there is something wrong and we need medicine and a label. We need Grace and a Nap.

Ur th first Person to KNOW what I Am talking ablut & th first to Truly empathize. Im sure You can imagine th challengez of mating w a PDAer.. Thx for seeing Me. Alwayz learning & doing My best to Be My best Aloha

My keiki'z Dad iz so PDA Autistic - I Am so greatful for leaening of Otherz experiencez.. I brought up th concept to Him about 3 yearz ago & He waz like... ooooh! Yeeea... & had this wave of relief. Of course accepting th label iz tranzient, az Hiz nature to rebel iz inherent it seemz.. Mahalo

I'm the mother. Why are you talking so loud at me. Lol

Thank you for your excellent video! I totally understand why you felt the way you did in relation to your Dad's reaction when you told him you're autistic etc as my Dad reacted in a very similar way when I told him I'm autistic and, guess what? I think he may be autistic too!

You're welcome. Helped my kids understand either, because I apologised and explained it in a child friendly way

Huh, I am a parent who was asleep on the third paragraph of bedtime story. But, I was so sleep deprived then, it's crazy I was able to even open the book.

i love your channel

please can you timestamp the video, thanks

Ohhhh thank you! It’s been so hard to find information and support to try not to screw my kids up because I struggle so much w ADHD…I never know if their behavior is their ADHD, learned behaviors from inconsistencies in my parenting because of MY ADHD, or what! I can find loads of information on how to support and help my kids, but very little for ME to regulate myself and build healthy habits for them and me… it is exhausting! It is sooo exhausting trying to do all the things that seem so easy and obvious for other people. Thank you. I can’t wait to see more of your channel

You say ,you hope your kids understand it when they grow up... Why don't you explain it to them now ? Even if they're little, you can explain it in a childfriendly way and it will help your kids.❤

My mom is in denial that she has it but I’m pretty sure she does. I got diagnosed last year at 32 and have been sharing about it with my family. She knows her sister has it. She has so many of the signs but will not accept that she might have it. I just hope she can accept it sooner rather than later, and get help.

Just diagnosed at 38. My son is 2. I'm working really hard to be a good Mom for him and I tell him i love him every day. Organization, task completion and time blindness are my challenges. I am really good at keeping a routine because it makes me feel good. I don't get rage so that's never been a problem.

Growing up, from not wanting to take naps in kindergarten and being the only one awake during nap time, to becoming a teenager and trying to convince my friends and cousins to stay up past midnight during sleepovers (they could not last and would end up falling asleep before me), I remember feeling very lonely while the rest of the world slept and I was up. I despised naps and sleeping growing up and truthfully to this day, although I try to force myself to bed earlier as a responsible adult, I naturally still dislike going to sleep. There is always something interesting for my brain to engage. On the bright side, this could be beneficial for certain things such as late night exam studying or career such as a detective. 🕵🏻‍♀️ Now that I understand how important sleep is to the mind and body, I make the effort to value my full night’s rest but it is still challenging to this day. My goal now is to go to bed earlier so that I can be up really early like 5am instead.

I am Latina. I wonder if the struggle your dad had is that he may have blamed his wife for their daughters being autistic but then you say you are so now he doesn't want to admit he is the common denominator. My parents also divorced when I was 3, when I told them I was autistic they blamed the other on where it may have come from. Before they were perfectly fine knowing I was weird and quirky. They were boggled on why all my kids are on the spectrum but for some reason when I told them I was autistic it was like "No, you are weird but you are not autistic."

I have Bipolar and these symptoms fit that too.

Wait wait wait, is it not something every parent does regularly from just being overwhelmed ?

I found your video about 14 signs of having ADHD Mom. It made soo much sense to me. I had kind of a pass off from a doctor "You have ADD" and that was all I ever was told. No medication. Nothing else. I had my son and I had my sisters and my parents around when these Rages hit me. I would always say sorry to my son for the way I acted and him having saw me. To this day I still feel bad about my rages . I never hurt him during them or anything like that. Well not physically . I sometimes wonder mentally though. He is 22 and we have a good relationship . As I got older I learned to control my rages. I just wish I could have helped my younger me. Or that CZcams had been a thing then. Thanks for your videos ! New Subscriber !

My mom almost certainly has adhd which is why it took me so long to get diagnosed, cause all my symptoms were normal for her… I definitely relate to most of the things in the video and when I got diagnosed I remember how frustrated my mom was because me being diagnosed reveled she had it but her thing was “what’s the point of getting diagnosed now”

I got my ADHfD diagnosis in my late 50's and of course....I can see in some of my family, especially my mum and a sibling. My dad was more ASD, I think some of my siblings have both, like me, or lean more towards one than another. Of course, my mum has poo-pooed it 🤔

Thank you ❤ Believing in God is my anchor in my chaotic life 🙏

Just subscribed. If you can help me, it’ll be good

😢 I am a mother with adhd. Man, that’s frustrating AF

This sounds like my house except its my kid and the dog. I had to put the dog in the bathroom and i had my x place an ad on ffacebook to rehome him so the screaming and growling will stop.

Hormones are the worst for adhd😢 especially when meds are the first reccomendation and we are pregnant or breastfeeding so thats just not an option.

Thank you for this video. I agree as an adhd mum of 2 adhd kids.

Mental health issues and neurodivergent thinking and behaviour continue to carry a huge stigma that is perpetuated by misunderstanding, misinformation, and (sometimes willful) ignorance. That is why your content is so important. It helps breaks down this stigma and spreads awareness and knowledge and, hopefully, understanding. By way of helping you understand your father’s internalisation of this stigma and why this may cause him to reject discussing Autism, I’ll tell you about my experience with my ex-in-laws who were born in the 1930s: My ex-husband’s family had an extremely pejorative way of describing his first cousin. My ex-parents-in-laws always summed up any conversation about this cousin by concluding that he would not have become such an anti-social and unpleasant adult if he hadn’t been coddled by his smothering mother and rebuffed by his overbearing father. Their theory mirrored the popular psychological theories of the 1950s that attributed mental health issues to parental neglect or abuse. When I finally met the man in 2008 (then in his mid-40s) I immediately thought his interpersonal behaviour seemed to match the stereotypical descriptions I had read of males with Aspergers (the term used at the time) and someone with contamination OCD. When I gently suggested this idea to my in-laws, they vehemently rejected it and doubled-down with more detailed examples of parental neglect and of their nephew's irreversably damaged psyche. I must have planted a seed, though, as my ex-husband recently mentioned (not directly to me) that his cousin was eventually diagnosed with Autism years later. The sad thing is that he died in 2022 and never really had the chance to recover from the damage of not knowing for most of his life that he was Autistic. Countless lives across multiple generations have been ruined by the false and horribly misleading explanations created by psychologists and psychiatrists to describe behaviours and brain development they did not understand, and the treatments they devised to “cure” or mitigate them. Taking this historical context into account, I understand why many people do not wish to acknowledge and embrace neurodiversity in themselves and their younger family members, or others they interact with. I gauge the attitude of each individual (including mental health and medical professionals) to decide how much information I share with them. But their beliefs do stop me from seeking knowledge and treatment for myself and my children. And when I think it is warranted, I plant small "seeds" of enlightenment where I hope they will grow.

I would greatly appreciate any neurodivergent parenting content on how to help support weak executive functioning (including emotional regulation) and how to teach our children these skills once we’ve learned them ourselves, as well. Also, content regarding how to identify, evaluate, and break away from unhelpful values and ways of thinking that we have internalized from our parents and culture that impede us from accepting and helping ourselves and our neurodivergent children would also be extremely useful. General parenting advice is so fraught with high expectations, that those of us who struggle to meet them feel judged and ashamed. Thank you so much for your content. Neurodivergent people often need to start from a place of radical acceptance and self-love before knowledge and understandingly can be fully internalized and manifested in positive change. We very much need compassionate fellow neurodivergent therapists such as you who are brave enough to unmask and share their vulnerability with us to show us the way to accept and even appreciate our neurodivergence and become better parents.

Thank you so much for validating that this is real issue for neurodivergent mothers who struggle with emotional dysregulation. We feel deep shame about it and we know the negative impact it has on our children. We need help and understanding, not more shame. It is a physiological response that is worsened by stress and we need to learn how to reduce the built-up stress and “circuit-break” our trigger response. My « hair-triggered rage response» (rapid emotional dysregulation) is always worse when my weak executive functions are maxed out because I’m overwhelmed with all that I have take care of, when I‘m physically stressed (e.g., I need sleep, nutritious food, more alone time (I’m an introvert), reduced sensory overload) and when I’m emotionally overwhelmed (e.g., relationship conflict, grief from death in the family). Hormonal fluctuations due PMS and perimenopause also made my emotional dysregulation much worse (I’m now postmenopausal and I feel much more emotionally stable). Finally figuring out at 50 that I have ADHD and how it impacts me has been absolutely key. I’m finding resources to help me understand my brain and body. I’m learning Cognitive-behavioural and Dialectical Therapeutic techniques to reduce my emotional dysregulation, and I’m also learning to use practical ADHD-friendly skills to support my weak executive functions. It’s never easy, but it is getting better and I hope to pass along everything I learn to my kids who also have ADHD. My Dad also had rage issues and probably had ADHD, but I am striving to break the intergenerational cycle. Please keep producing your very valuable content to spread awareness and knowledge to help mothers and their children!!!

Those signs are also signs of extreme stress and many other things such as trauma too and that can be caused by many factors including poverty, the overwhelm associated with overachievers and also impoverished for different reasons but causing same symptoms. Dont’ know why these days we have to but labels on things that are very much environmental ..being the child of an immigrant in a new country and so many things but we put it on the individuals…missing the cause and therefore the treatments/solutions.