There’s something I came across a while back that helped me understand meltdowns. Meltdowns can look like tantrums from the outside, but they are very different in terms of their causes. Tantrums are manipulative attempts to get something from someone by using deliberate displays of emotional behavior like screaming and crying. Both children and adults can engage in tantrums. As soon as they get what they want the tantrum ends. Meltdowns are VERY different. Meltdowns / rage attacks are INVOLUNTARY. They are the result of sensory and / or emotional OVERLOAD. They are awful. We are not attempting to manipulate others - we are unable to control our behavior once a meltdown is underway, and they can be terrifying causing us confusion and shame in their aftermath, and driving away the people we love. The key is understanding what they are, and recognizing the things that trigger them before it’s too. It’s important to recognize and communicate that we are starting to feel overwhelmed and to ask for support or withdraw from the stimulus that’s overwhelming us before it’s too late. This is hard. It takes time and patience. But it works. Thank god. As long as we are dealing with people who are acting in good faith.
Yes, when I'm in a meltdown which has happened more frequently in the last 2 years, since my son turned 3 and his autism was more pronounced, and they are terrifying to experience. And the shame that comes afterwards...
Thank you 🙏🏽 I'm glad it could help! That's 5 years of couple's therapy that helped us to trace the origin of each other's meltdowns to events that actually happened 2 days before. We go to a family constellation / systemic therapist. I highly recommend it.
There’s something I came across a while back that helped me understand meltdowns. Meltdowns can look like tantrums from the outside, but they are very different in terms of their causes. Tantrums are manipulative attempts to get something from someone by using deliberate displays of emotional behavior like screaming and crying. Both children and adults can engage in tantrums. As soon as they get what they want the tantrum ends.
Meltdowns are VERY different. Meltdowns / rage attacks are INVOLUNTARY. They are the result of sensory and / or emotional OVERLOAD. They are awful. We are not attempting to manipulate others - we are unable to control our behavior once a meltdown is underway, and they can be terrifying causing us confusion and shame in their aftermath, and driving away the people we love.
The key is understanding what they are, and recognizing the things that trigger them before it’s too. It’s important to recognize and communicate that we are starting to feel overwhelmed and to ask for support or withdraw from the stimulus that’s overwhelming us before it’s too late.
This is hard. It takes time and patience. But it works. Thank god. As long as we are dealing with people who are acting in good faith.
Yes, when I'm in a meltdown which has happened more frequently in the last 2 years, since my son turned 3 and his autism was more pronounced, and they are terrifying to experience. And the shame that comes afterwards...
Love how self aware you are! I can really relate. Thank you for sharing! 💞
Thank you 🙏🏽 I'm glad it could help! That's 5 years of couple's therapy that helped us to trace the origin of each other's meltdowns to events that actually happened 2 days before. We go to a family constellation / systemic therapist. I highly recommend it.
Grateful for your content, as a fellow mom on the spectrum with a child on the spectrum. Blessings to you and your family!
Thank you so much for your kind words! It’s wonderful to connect with other moms on this journey. Your support means a lot!
Very useful advice expressed very clearly. Thanks for the video.
My pleasure really
Well done!!!! Thank you!
Thank you too!
PDA: Probable Divorcee Applicant 🎉
When both partners have it… then? 😂
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