If you are going through a speed bump... |
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 29. 09. 2022
- DISCLAIMER: Not medical advice. Everything on this channel represents personal opinion and experience and is provided for informational purposes only. The author is not a medical doctor, psychotherapist or any other licensed professional. Any information on this channel does not constitute and/or substitute medical, psychotherapy, counselling or any other professional advice and treatment. It is not intended to treat, cure, diagnose any medical or psychological condition or disorder. Always seek professional licensed help if you have any health concerns.
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Hi I am currently going through a speed bump. Feeling very disillusioned and anxious again but this video gives me hope. Thank you so much
I am no longer afraid of sleeplessness, sometimes when I have things on my mind when I go to bed it takes more time to fall asleep, these things are not the fear of sleeplessness so I fall asleep in spite of these things. Thank you Alina for your channel.đđ€đšđŠ
Gosh this is amazing and this is so deep â€
Thank you. You are very good.
I've had awful insomnia for nearly 2 years , getting better for sure, but every speed bump does feel like the worst. You can't use your frontal lobes properly in an anxiety state..
Excellent analogy!
Hello Alina! I donât know if I should call it a speed bump but last night I thought âWow! I have slept throughout the week without any difficulty for the few times in more than a year. May be tonight a speed bump will happenâ. Then I reminded myself of the things you have said in other videos. I fell asleep but I woke up at like 3am and couldnât fall asleep again. I came back to watch your video and remind myself that âI am not interested in this pattern and I am ok with the possibility of a speed bump happening againâ. I feel way more calm and confident this time.
So glad to hear that you found capacity to remind yourself that speedbumps are allowed! When something is forbidden, of course, it creates so much suffering!
Is your insomnia mostly maintenance?
Thank you Alina. That is SO encouraging.!
Hi Alina, your videos have helped me so much!!! Thank you for all that you do! I have one question, you may have answered it before. I have been for the most part better with my insomnia thanks to your tips but i still have situational insomnia, ie: when I know I have a friend staying over at my place. I use the tools that you taught that wakefulness is OK but I wonder how do I eventually stop fearing this situational insomnia?
Hi Laura, that is very common to fear special events. You know, I briefly touched the way how our brain perceived changes in this jet-lag video czcams.com/video/KMvXel90EpE/video.html it is not really about the special days but the approach is pretty much similar. Or an instagram post about sleeplessness before a big day: instagram.com/p/CdLwnUntL8-/
Hope this helps!
hi alina
ive had this insomnia for few months now, but the thing is ive had insomnia a few years back and i gained my sleep back bc i educate myself but it hits again few months ago.. i thought its gonna be easier this time bc ive experienced this before, but the reality right now is complete different.
i already know all these things but im still not sleeping its so frustrating, ive accept all my problems but still not sleeping.. im not even waiting on sleep anymore im just chillin but still none.. right now i already lost interest about everything.. i dont wanna looking for tips and all bc i know what they gonna say and guess what? still not sleeping.
im so tired, im so frustrated. idk what to do and dont wanna do anything. i cant even cry anymore. i have given up on everything but still nothing happens. no sleep. im so tired.
- im so tired of closing my eyes and nothing happens. im so tired had to tell myself im ok. im so tired of given up on everything and still nothing happens. im so tired of had to wait 12 hrs to sleep time for just to closing my eyes and not sleep. im so tired of getting help. im so tired of everything.
Sorry it's been tough for you. A few pointers I noticed that may help you discover a hidden effort/expectations:
- "im just chillin but still none.. "
- "im so tired of closing my eyes and nothing happens."
Chilling is not a condition for sleep. We can chill without sleeping.
Closing eyes doesn't guarantee sleep. Even for the "best" sleepers ever.
I would shift the narrative from "I chill/close eyes to sleep" to "I chill/close eyes to rest". That can remove pressure and help to feel safer. And self-kindness, tons of self-kindness. It's not your fault you can't sleep! But sleep will come when you least expect it. But don't try to not expect it on purpose :)
@@FearlessSleep thankyou for replying alina â€ïž, my hypnic jerks really wont let me asleep too its been 2 days.. it wont stop and im not resisting. any thoughts on that? thankyou again â€ïž
@@newvolumee773 That's pretty cynical. I haven't been around long but I doubt that Daniel chose his path on the basis that "Martin had CBT-I locked up". I think he was becoming more aware of the pitfalls of CBT-I, the many insomniacs for whom CBT-I was not working. So far, I have not done well with anything and am feeling hopeless, but I don't fault the coaches for doing their best (nor for making a good living).
@New Volume (E:) As a guest of one of the Daniel's success stories in the past, I am here, creating this content, sharing my journey and insights, replying to people's comments. You keep asking for facts, proof, etc but I know whatever I will say or any other person who completed the journey will say - will not be enough for you because you are coming there with an already made decision: "insomnia will never go away, I haven't seen it for myself and therefore it is not possible for anyone. Everyone else is lying"
I'm not even sure what kind of proof are you looking for from people who recovered.. inviting you in their house and sleeping with them in one room to see that they sleep?
You want a magic wand, or someone to come and fix your insomnia, can't blame you, insomnia feels terrible. But there are no quick fixes, at least I haven't found any. And if this content doesn't resonate with you personally, then I am completely sure this is not what you are looking for.
Hi Alina, this makes total sense.
I think the brain wants to test how scared you are. If i keep having a productive/active day despite of how much i sleep and accepting nights of few hours of sleep, the brain perceives that you are not afraid anymore, what do you think?
I sometimes have the thought âfear of fearâ; like when I know that fear would affect I feel afraid,, is there any idea of how I can deal with it?
Many teachers say that a good night comes from a good day. Do you go by that? Does how you react to a bad night affect sleep? Or do you just go with the "nothing can bring you a good night sleep" more?
I separated sleep as an outcome from any other things like how I spend my day, how I feel, etc. because if you still think that good day leads to good sleep, you may begin to expect good sleep because the day was good. - and that expectation will play a trick on you. Now, I react to a âbadâ night like I did before insomnia - if I feel good the next day I donât even ruminate about the past night, If I feel tired, sleepy, etc - I take care of myself (and again not ruminating about the past)
@@FearlessSleep That's makes a lot of sense and feels very unattatched/peaceful. Thanks!
I have a tendency to be indecisive about waking time like I mentioned. When that happens, for example waking up 6:50 or 7:00 to get out of the house at 7:30 should I go on the earlier side? I know you made a video on it. But do you feel like that 10 mins later of waking is me protecting sleep and should I not do that?
What I've been doing is picking the number in between so I don't have to decide since a few minutes won't do anything to my sleep or make me earlier
10 min is insignificant time for recovery, i think
So Iâve hit another speed bump. Previously the speed bump last for a couple of days but this time the struggle is way longer? I get anxious if Iâll stay in this loop forever.
Does that mean I need to fix the anxiety associated with my sleep?
This is going to sound silly but I have a set of pajamas that I believe Iâll either get a very good or a bad night wearing it. The pajamas itself definitely does nothing to my sleep. But thereâs a fear and hope with it. I have been preventing wearing it because of this. But this makes my brain believe that things can control sleep and losing it is not okay at all. Should I continue wearing it so often to show thereâs nothing scary with wearing it and that it does not control my sleep?
You may :) But be mindful of expectations that by wearing it despite anything will help you sleep - that's a potential trap. Pajama is pajama, if it's comfy then it's all that matters :)
@@FearlessSleep Yeah. It's actually not very comfortable and so I decided to just not wear it lol. My brain will eventually see that pajamas are just pajamas, I hope.
Hi alina ,,iam in that stage now where i feel fatigued the next day even thou i get 7 to 8 hours of sleep ,, does dis go away with time?
Absolutely. You can help yourself by allowing yourself to be tired in spite of how much you sleep and take care of yourself on those days. It all will pass
Congrats! You used to ask whether getting 7-8 hours was even possible while you were getting only 6! So why are you still making a fuss when you got what you wanted
@@johnmonk3381 hello John pleased to see your positive comments & feedbacks for us. Being ex insomniac you told in comments that pick 6 hr sleeping window. N follow that can you tell me if I go to bed very late 3 AM. N still can't feel sleepiness should I just rest or stretch Being awake?; also I most of the time I go to bed at 12 AM n read books n watch YT videos till 3 AM. My question is till how many hrs I should wait for More gas (sleep drive)
Omg I'm am here now! It's so scary. just extremely weak and tired!
Are speed bumps inevitable? Ever since hearing about them itâs made me feel worried that my good nights sleeping (when I get about 5 hours) are inevitably soon to be followed by more sleepless nights .Now, to hear that there could be hundreds of speed bumps before my brain recovers is alarming and devastating. On the days after getting some sleep and feeling somewhat rested, doesnt my brain see that my life is going well and there is no threat? Why would it disrupt that positive situation . After about a 10 days of 5 hours sleep, part of the reason I did not sleep last night was because I was worried about speed bumps. I told myself they are NOT inevitable, itâs just the experience of some people, and though I cannot know if I will sleep, there is no reason I should not sleep well, and that I can let the speed bump worry go. Ultimately, I did not sleep.
Thank you for your thoughts.
Another issue thatâs coming up is the seeming split between what I want (a few hours sleep) and what my brain wants. Are we separate entities? I know my brain is trying to protect me, but who is the âIâ itâs trying to protect? I feel like Iâm split in 2.
This is a normal reaction from the brain to the idea of speedbumps. Naturally it doesn't want to feel discomfort. What is usually not being realized that the journey isn't ONLY speedbumps - there will be a lot of good stretches too. It's not a big chunk of dark suffering - its a dynamic process. The reason it is good to validate speedbumps is because the reason that they happen is the desire not to have them... So how are we going to get rid of them if we keep trying to not have them? But again, nothing what I say or others say about their recovery path means that it will happen to you. I see different recovery processes, and all are normal :) Listen to what makes sense to you â€ïž