"Can I ask to see my therapist every so often after therapy has ended?" AKA 111
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- čas přidán 5. 07. 2024
- Episode focus: THE THERAPY PROCESS
Audience questions for Ask Kati Anything - Kati Morton's mental health podcast | episode 111
1. Can you ask your therapist to still see them every once in a while after therapy has ended? I'm 22 and have been seeing my psychologist off and on since I was 17, but since I've known my therapist for so long, I would miss...
2. You've been an absolute lifesaver, and I mean that literally. So, thank you. I'm not sure how to bring this up with my therapist, but I go through phases of extreme attachment. Like googling her name and finding out as much...
3. You’ve talked about the therapist not working harder than you as the patient but how do you know when you are reaching that point? I struggle really hard with opening up and do a lot better when my therapist asks...
4. How do I talk to my therapist about attachment? I get really easily attached and especially with my therapist because she is the first person who ever listened to me and seemed to care about me. But I tend to make myself worse (ed, self harm) whenever...
5. I hope you’re having a great weekend. My question about the therapy process is this: I’m always afraid that my therapist is going to refer me out to someone else. I read into everything that she says and does, waiting for her to tell me...
6. So I just recently started therapy. When I say recently I mean like tomorrow is my 4th appointment. I was anxious before my first appointment, but I have been even more anxious for the appointments since...
7. Do you have any recommendations for how we should decide and prioritize which topics to discuss in therapy? My therapist uses a psychodynamic approach and although I find it helpful it does mean that I have to guide which topics we...
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Haven't seen your whole podcast yet... But I've seen the part where you answered my question. Thank you so much! I've got new insights (yeey!), but it also confirmed some of my thoughts I've already had about that question. So that is helpfull. Confronting, but helpfull 😄
YB.hello and just like to congratulate you on getting your question though go Kati s podcast it's so difficult for Meany of us to get any likes or comments on our questions and it always comes down to the people who bother to leave us likes so well done
@@nikkimckay860 my question was a follow up answer and question on someone elses. I quess, randomly picked by Kati. And yes, it is hard to get your questions answered. There are a lot of people which drop their questions. 😳
@@yb4691 yeah a lot of people ok well glad you still got a question answered iv tried doing a add on question before aswell as adding my own but I did ask a question recently for her theme questions about anxiety but got only 1 like also got bit confused because I though this week was themed anxiety but she did the therapy topic questions instead so maybe next week is anxity week but it's a shame when you ask a question most people don't bother to give it like or comment guess also some people don't even read it but I understand that's just how it is
@@nikkimckay860 ooh, I also don't get likes, or just a few, on my questions. That's also due to the way CZcams build his app/website. Part of the reason Kati picks 2 other questions I guess 😉
@@yb4691 I understand because I know Kati always picked the question s with the most likes and 2 random questions iv had a question answered before but I had only 8 likes so I was the random person s question everyone else's questions had loads of likes and comments I know it's not Kati s fault if my question doesn't get enough likes she won't pick my question sometimes though when I put so much time and effort into writing my question and it means a lot to me to get it picked but so Meany times my question doesn't it's just frustrating when people don't bother to read it or like it but I get that's just the way it is
1:02:00
Hey here are a few things I do in therapy that help:
- take a cushion and put it on my laps, make me feel safer
- take some scents as in essential oils with me
- I have a 10lbs weight in my therapist office, for when I need to feel grounded, which I will place on my lap
- if I am particularly anxious we’ll go outside and talk whilst walking around the neighbourhood (obviously I told her I am absolutely okay with that and I don’t mind others catching snippets of our conversation)
- on some days I don’t feel like I can even come in to the office, we’ll have the session via telephone and I’ll walk around outside whilst talking to her
Hope this helps! Obviously it took some time for me to build up the courage to ask about these things and EVERY SINGLE TIME she reacted with so much compassion that I now feel like I am more and more able to be myself and that that is okay :)
Timestamps!
1:08 1. Can you ask your therapist to still see them every once in a while after therapy has ended? I'm 22 and have been seeing my psychologist off and on since I was 17, but since I've known my therapist for so long, I would miss...
17:14 2. You've been an absolute lifesaver, and I mean that literally. So, thank you. I'm not sure how to bring this up with my therapist, but I go through phases of extreme attachment. Like googling her name and finding out as much...
37:57 3. You’ve talked about the therapist not working harder than you as the patient but how do you know when you are reaching that point? I struggle really hard with opening up and do a lot better when my therapist asks...
43:00 4. How do I talk to my therapist about attachment? I get really easily attached and especially with my therapist because she is the first person who ever listened to me and seemed to care about me. But I tend to make myself worse (ed, self harm) whenever...
49:25 5. I hope you’re having a great weekend. My question about the therapy process is this: I’m always afraid that my therapist is going to refer me out to someone else. I read into everything that she says and does, waiting for her to tell me...
57:21 6. So I just recently started therapy. When I say recently I mean like tomorrow is my 4th appointment. I was anxious before my first appointment, but I have been even more anxious for the appointments since...
1:03:11 7. Do you have any recommendations for how we should decide and prioritize which topics to discuss in therapy? My therapist uses a psychodynamic approach and although I find it helpful it does mean that I have to guide which topics we...
anniekate76.always thankful of your timestamps was honestly sad because I took the time and effort to wrote in a question for AKA of Kati s theme about anxiety getting only 2 likes honestly bothered me sadly with the different themes topics always changing I can't post my question again was a good AKA about therapy though
Hi everyone! I hope your day is going well! Thanks for watching :)
Hi Kati 👋💖
I watch all these videos in two times speed and it’s really funny to hear the beginning and end credits two times as fast. Also when I slow it back down to normal speed you sound like you’re talking super slowly and it’s really funny. Thanks for the series, it’s really comforting especially with a therapist who has been out in my real life.
Thank you Kati!
I adore you! I just love how you are protective of your followers when they mention the shitty things their therapist have said. I love how you are angry for them. You continue to impress me with how thorough you are in addressing all the possibilities that could be going on with someone. You are a good therapist.
Before I started seeing my first and only therapist of almost 4 years I had a problem of getting attached to different people in my life. Now that I’m in therapy, I’m attached to my therapist. We are working on it. You’re not alone. It’s painful to have to be vulnerable but I’m lucky to have a wonderful therapist. I’m very much attached.
Pissed off, righteous indignation Kati is def a top contender for my favorite version of Kati, out there delivering throat punches of justice ♥️
Attachment indeed comes back with any therapist. It has been a bit of a struggle for me, though I am very grateful for the insight my previous therapist gave on this. I am struggling with cptsd and attachment issues and she actually said that it is very good that I was able to get attached to her and that she could fill that mother role for a while. Because she could be that for me for a while, it gave more space for the inner child work and to eventually take over that role from her (like a child leaving home to go to college). Still, because there are moments when my inner child desperately seeks for care and my 'Healthy Adult' is not giving it to her, I will find myself to get drawn towards my therapist, needing that validation, looking them up (don't you love this new day and age where you can find anything on the internet) etc. There is self harm involved and that is when I know it is never specifically about them. It is about my inner child that is not getting from me what they need. And so I can then find myself much milder towards the attachment issues, as I actually know where it comes from, that it will subside and that there is nothing wrong with me. It is okay to feel attached to your therapist, it is healthy, it is just important that you get strong enough to fulfill that role yourself at some point.
Thank you so much for all this info you share with us. It’s been so helpful either directly to my mental health or to my therapy experience 🧡
Thank you for grouping these questions by topic.
Thank you so much for answering this for me! This was very reassuring and very very helpful. I am so grateful you took the time to read and answer my question! My therapist and I have begun to work on this and you're right, it wasn't really about what was going on there but about the instability that I felt at the time. Thank you so so much for all you do.
Kati Morton. good evening to you and good to see you. Again been struggling .Though my week😢 I always look forward to your AKA podcast every Thursday. Listening and watching you helps calm me . this podcast topic theme. Was very helpful and the .Answers you give to. Add as mentioned before passed. My mental health assessment .And waiting on starting therapy .Again love this podcast about everything therapy and the prosses ❤️
Thanks for answering my question!!! My current therapist is incredibly supportive!😍
This topic was so helpful! Could you please do more episodes on this? I have so many questions about the therapy process; I’m sure I’m not the only one!
Many thanks for the work that you do! I would really be up to see a video on inner child work and learn how to go about it as I think that would really help!
Hi Kati and others on this channel - what interesting questions are being asked and answered! This is a good question as I think many clients have these questions in their minds but don't often ask them directly...
Thank you. This AKA was super helpful.
Glad it helped!
Once I told my therapist that I sometimes have the urge to harm myself. She asked me a lot of questions about it and then said I shall never do this while being in treatment with her. When I mentioned it, she always asked to see the "wound", but there was nothing to see because I didn´t do it deep enough.
I always asked myself, why she asked to see it and why she wanted me to promise that I would hurt myself. I mean sometimes it is hard enough to cope with life and additionally I cannot break a promise because I think they are somehow important.
Another week, another great episode :)
Hi Sean👋
One of my issues involved an exciting academic theory I had been studying. It dealt with psychology. In our sessions, I mentioned how it factored in. In our final session, I gave him a gift by pointing him to resources about it.
LOL @55:14 "This lady sounds like an asshole and she sounds like she doesn't know what she's doing... I don't like her at all" GOTTA LOVE KATI!!!
This has nothing to do with the video’s topic but I just wanted to say that I’m really impressed about therapy regulations in the US. I think they’re very precise and strict to be a therapist. I live in Mexico City and we have nearly no regulations in therapy practice in the private sector. You just need your college degree and then you work by yourself. Which isn’t as good at it might seem cause I feel like it can lead to a lot of malpractice 😖😖
Hello Kati, thank you for doing these podcasts. ❤️I have a question about what you have said @ 1:06:30 where you say you contain the part at the start but then you move onto the more important things. The problem I have is that I find it difficult to stay on topic. How would you deal with this?
Hiiii, I like the themed episodes but I also have some non topical questions and it does suck to not be able to write in on them and have to wait for a theme or have already missed the theme the topic was on. Perhaps a mix would be good? Like the last 2 questions aren't necessarily specific to the theme? Idk just thinking
Quick question...hope you see it.
I noticed a micro expression or gesture that my therapist made. Palm of hand to base of neck over the clavicle notch...means one is uncomfortable, anxious, smitten or needs to calm. I don't remember the context of the conversation as I was dissociative. My gut says I said something that worried her, but truly unsure...so I asked. Still waiting response. However the conversation that we had that got me dissociative was about her not responding to emails...I asked her in en email if she can help me remember and what she remembers her reaction was too. Do you think this is okay to ask? Is her response the micro expression something that I can ask her about, like what was she feeling? What was our conversation about? I was dissociative so I truly don't remember and yet also fear her response to be it's all one mind it's in there you know the answer. I don't . So I'm asking....DID sucks!!
About question 2. You were talking about attachment I believe. The person asked about looking up her therapist.. what does it mean to want to look up people from your past and present. Not all did I have a friendship/or relationship with but I’m wondering about idolization. Can you elaborate on this. I was diagnosed with BPD originally the was switched CPTSD. My therapist said I have BPD traits. Why do I keep looking up these people from the past? Some are popular people from school, ex boyfriends that hurt me and some people Are old co workers. I don’t know why I do this.
Hi Ms. Katie
I love your channel and I know we are trying something new which is to have a theme in each podcast. Many people possibly like this format, but a lot of us can't ask questions because it's not relevant to the theme. Could we go back the podcast's original format or have the podcast theme once a month, please?
Thanks!
And have a lovely week!! :)
Luna de blue. Hello seen your name here before so I remember you I love Kati s channel too I also understand and agree with you about the theme topic podcast s Kati s now doing and trying something new true some of us like the new them topic questions and some of us don't like it so true we can't ask questions about any mental health issues anymore only theme topic so we can only relate and post question s or write comments about that theme topic so Meany of us can't ask a question until the top we have a question about comes around it would be nice if Kati went back to original podcast questions about anything or purhaps just do the theme topic podcast once a month 🙂
I actually enjoyed listening to the old format better too. The variety was fascinating. Sometimes having and hour of a certain topic is more than I can submerge myself in (was it just depression week recently?).
@@maggiejeuena5679 hello yes last week s AKA podcast was depression topic theme questions I also can understand and agree but these theme topic s are very helpful to those who it relates to but true not everyone can't relate to the theme topic s I still like watching and listening to people s questions and Kati s answers about the theme topic
Hey Kati
Just found this AKA from 4 months ago. THIS is what bothers me most about myself. I have BPD and get super attached to anyone who shows any sign of caring about me / having sympathy for me because of the trauma in my past. I actually do kind of stalk people... but I don't mean them any harm... I just want closeness... You said talk to your therapist about this. Well the problem is that my therapists keep dumping me... the latest one was really sticking in there and being supportive and talking openly with me about my stalkish tendencies but now she is not responding to my emails anymore. Do you think it is possible to work through this issue with the same person who you have the attachment to? Or should I look for a therapist that I won't (hopefully) get so attached to? And how do I stop it... I hate this about myself. Much like one of the people who commented on the original question that you were answering, I feel like I need to punish myself for doing this to people. Like I want to say "WHY can't I leave this poor woman alone??" I really wish I could find a way to stop doing this.
Is transference a type of attachment disorder?
I'm here spreading care support and advice to anyone who needs it ❤️
My therapist used to attend the same church I did and it didn't go over to it so great so now we don't go to the same church anymore. It was very awkward for me.
I understand that talk therapy is useful, but I rarely got feedback from my last LCSW talk therapist. The most he suggested was keep a journal...but then what? I want to find someone that has actual tools to use. Am I wrong wanting this?
@msfaerywing, I'm not Kati and I'm no therapist, but you are absolutely not wrong for wanting this. YOU get to decide what it is that you want/need out of therapy.
Wanted to know about therapy goals
Hello and good evening everyone Nikki here from uk it's 21:46 pm what time is It in your country?for where you are from? just started watching and listening to new AKA podcast little confused at first because thought this week s topic theme me mental health questions was about anxiety then I looked at the weeks questions before last week ant the topic questions was about starting therapy the therapy prosses and what it's like ending therapy I understand now these questions are about therapy how's everyone doing ?
@@Mark-fx3pp hello I can see the comment
Wait. So should I try to pick a therapist I might would be more attached to or less? Because wouldnt i be more comfortable talking to a therapist I am attached to? And then I have the chance to work on my attachment issues WITH the therapist? I am thinking about finding one but I wonder which age and gender might be best for me. Or should that not rly matter? Hmm..
She’s such a cutie! That’s what drew me in😄
Can you see your therpist once a month if you are finished theapy
How are you Kati?❤️
Doing well. It's a rainy day here and I'm just working away at my desk. Hope you're having a good day :)
If attachment w your therapist is so commom, why don't therapists screen for it and bring it up themselves if they suspect it?
I'm almost 3 months in to a new therapist and I still get EXTREMELY anxious before sessions. I like the guy, I think we have good rapport, but since therapy in the past has been used against me, it's hard to relax. My gaslighting ex kicked me out of the car in front of the state mental hospital, saying I needed to check myself in because I was crazy. I had to run after him and apologize, saying I'd be better. But he was always 'consulting with the experts' who agreed that I needed serious mental help. Eventually he told me that I was so screwed up no one would ever love me, that he tried to help me and I refused all his efforts, so I should kill myself and all the reasons why. Drama ensued and I ended up at the psych ward in the local hospital, trying to 'fix myself' so that he would love me again. Pfffft. Anyway, in my last session with my therapist, he mentioned something about letting my guard down, and apparently my mind freaked out and after days of debilitating anxiety, I was struck with the rather ridiculous fear that my therapist was going to manipulate me into hurting myself. Talk about wonky transference! As much as I realized the fear was ridiculous, part of me was still terrified. Thankfully I do trust my therapist enough to tell him about all this (as I literally just did an hour ago) but OMG it was so hard to do!! Hopefully tho we can go from there. I just wanted to share my weird therapy anxiety issues in case it might help someone else 🙃
It took me so long to notice you said Sean has a lot of patience and you don't instead of Sean has a lot of patients and you don't😂. I was so confused for a moment
I’m picking back up with therapy after a 4 year break and this theme was super helpful to feel refreshed about the setting and what to expect, questions to ask and different ways to approach it. TYSM!! 🫶🏼
Happy mental health and BPD awareness month! 💚🖤🤍