Therapist's need to train cops and detectives. I went to a precinct to file a battery report (out of statue of limitations) and the detective said "saying mean things" isn't abuse. It was insensitive and incorrect since what also makes "mean things" abuse is the age of the victim and the length of time, plus how much of a hostage situation the victim was in. Blatant-ness, etc.
Hello and good morning kati and good evening from UK I had a very bad day I lost my phone and I had a panic attack I'm just glad I could still watch and listen because these podcasts really do help me get though my struggle
Question 4 is the best❤ omg I’m 33 too. I will Leave my relationship bc I get not understanding but not trying is another thing:( 😢 ❤ I told my counselor when I started counseling 2years ago I was a “baby” now I found my words and im in the process of talking about bpd in sessions. I’ve been communicating too but it feels like people dnt believe u as well. I hate when people think I should work smh 🤦🏽♀️ im still struggling. P.s ty Riley for the index of questions 🤗 ❤
There’s a wonderful book ‘Heart Dog: how to survive the loss of your canine soulmate’. I lost 2 pups in a fire and a veterinarian friend sent a copy to me. I even handed it to my therapist to read to help her understand things from a pet parent vs a human parent. I wish you well as you process your grief.
I asked the first question and girl you’re spot on - I’m a people pleasing highly sensitive person with boundary issues 🥴🤣 Thank you so much for your response! I did end up talking with her about it and she made it clear that it had nothing to do with me and that she didn’t want me fretting over how what I say affects her! And hasn’t bounced her leg since!
Thank you for the disclosure and for speaking about this! But wouldn't that be harmful to her? Knowing that she had to work and/or harm herself by letting it not show to keep you from fretting over the effects on her of your words?
Question 2 is definitely me to an extent. I can have bad days or certain things on my mind and then often when I get to therapy I almost forget or just feel okay. Definitely need to start writing things down during the week.
I just wanted to let you know that persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia) was listed instead of dysthymic disorder in the DSM-5 and the newest update removed dysthymia from the parentheses as well, so it is no longer in the DSM.
I love the book thing around question 4. My boyfriend bought himself a book about borderline and after the first chapters he called me to thank me that I am not extremely toxic. The more he reads the more he understands how hard everything is and his compassion grows every time (get yourself someone like this!)
I procrastinated going on my run the entire day cause I knew your podcast is coming out this afternoon … gonna go lace up my shoes now haha ;) no excuses 🥰 P.s this has got to be the favourite time of my week, running whilst listening to you and having a self care sesh afterwards :) aka long bath, reading my book,… Hugs from a fellow health professional :)
I think being fine the day of therapy can be explained by all the points Kati made. I would add the possibility of confirming the feeling I am a fake, that I am making something out of nothing. It is also a feeling that I am not believed or really understood. It can be giving up or self-sabotaging. I also feel the therapist is bored by me and not interested and that I'm just repeating myself.
Great podcast. As a person who struggles with PTSD, I feel incredibly weak knowing someone could be fine because they are more resilient. Sometimes it makes me feel worse. Am I alone?
You are not alone. From what I understand, lots of things are built into our DNA and therefore are not our responsibility whatsoever. You didn’t choose this. And once we can wholly accept this, we can get to work. 💛
Hello everyone and good evening to you all its 18:01 here in uk hope people are doing ok really been needing this new AKA today had a panic attack today and my anxiety s been bad lost my phone today and too just thankful the temporary phone I'm useing I could still watch and listen to kati
I am sorry that your day was so shitty, but I am glad that this day nearly over now. Maybe you feel less alone when I tell you about my day… cause I fucked up a math exam… I love math and usually am about an A+ (15NP). It feels like I lost one of the only things I can do. It was also my last exam before my finals (that I have not learned for yet because I am so scared) … but I believe that we both will get through this. I send love and hugs!😘
I don’t understand how you can say “we can’t make people feel a certain way”. Are you just referring to mentally healthy people? I know that other people’s words or actions can definitely influence my emotions and make me feel a certain way. I am a people pleaser & highly sensitive person, though. Thank you, Kati
Other people do things and you tend to feel a certain way. BUT they could not decide “J must feel X way” and make that happen for sure. Maybe your therapist teaches you a tool to be less affected by that thing they do and your feelings no longer go the way they expect. They don’t have control over your mind. And you don’t have control over theirs.
@@anniekate76 hello again didn't see your name here the first time watching kati how have you been doing I had a very bad day lost my phone had a bad panic attack while I was out coming back from a appointment anxiety been bad today
I too am a person who notices my therapist's body language and thoughts about it and what it might mean plague me and distract me during the session as a regular thing. I struggle with executive dysfunction and auditory procesisng as an autistic person and figured it was that. In my daily life I have always had to closely monitor other people's body language because i misinterpret what they really mean when they say words and forget the gist of things without those visual cues.
Thank you to who ever asked question 3 about what is high functioning depression this was a good question and informative to me and helped me understand it better I just know I have depression I don't know what type I can take your advice too because I could relate to the question 💓
I have moments where I wonder if my depression can be high functioning. Today was definitely not high functioning. I am working through emdr and after a difficult session I have spent the whole day in bed. So I wonder if a person can flip flop between high functioning and no functioning. Good sharing though Nikki. It's great you are identifying and finding what is helpful!
Thanks for the answer to Q4, you have definitely given me something to think about in terms of there needing to be a next step. I don't suppose you'd consider doing a video on what exactly facing a phobia *feels* like, that I could share with them 🤣? And if we wanted to get weirdly specific, on having medical focused phobias during a pandemic, where even psychologists falls into your brains category of "medical" things/people/situations to avoid. I think moving forward it's probably a good idea to let my psychologist have a crack and bringing my partner to a session, I like the idea of letting her do the heavy lifting on this one and give my own tired arms a break 😜. Thanks again for the answer, wish me luck!
Dear Katie I think I have persistent depressive disorder and/or autism. My therapist doesn’t think I have autism but I’m 22 now and have suspected that I have autism since I was 16 so. Idk how to bring it back up because on the first appointment he kind of immediately was like “you’re not autistic. Why do you think your autistic?” And he described autism in a way that seemed very outdated to me. So idk how to bring it back up now PS I’m a female and I know autism can present itself in different ways with different sexes so I’m not sure if maybe he’s thinking of male autism because of how he was taught I have no idea but it’s been bothering me and isk how to bring it back up
I suddenly feel better when I go to therapy or completely go blank when I really need to talk about it and I remember as a child my stomach would hurt in class and on the way to the nurses office I would feel better and I feel like that’s some how related but idk how
I'd just like to share on here because with my temporary phone I can't get Instagram or other apps I went to see s good Dr at my local hospital the other day who I shared everything with and thank full she is going to help me get back into therapy
@@OTDM I love the color of your shirt and how it matches with your eyes and hair. The video started and it was one of those “damn yes” moments for me.^^
How long does it take for therapy to start working and really helping me? I started it about 6 months before I have to leave for an exchange year because me and my family thought it would be good to deal with my anxiety and stress before I leave. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep in contact with my therapist online when I’m gone and so I wonder if it’ll even be beneficial for a such short period of time
Ujala Bashir ch. Hello sometimes it can take a few weeks before your question is on the podcast if it was chosen it all depends on how meany people like your question or leave a comment also depends if your question can relate to what other people are suffering from sometime s getting your question picked you just have to wait or keep trying again each week in hopes people will give you alout of likes kati picks the question s with the most likes and 1 or 2 random questions this only advice I can give you
I like your question, I found it on the most recent post and left you some thoughts. Keep trying, a lot of what gets a question enough community likes to get answered is just adding your Q as soon as Kati posts!
Hey Kati, I am 64 and I started having flashbacks about childhood sexual abuse when I was 45. I started therapy when I was 49 and had a great therapist that I saw for about 4 years. I also had been in an abusive marriage for 20 years that my therapist also helped me to leave and recover from. I started having issues in my new marriage (Of three years) sexually and disassociating again when we are intimate. I also started having panic attacks. I started back in therapy with a new therapist about a month ago and just cant believe that i am still dealing with this stuff. Is this normal? I feel emotionally overwhelmed since I went back into therapy. I am just wanting to feel normal, is that even possible at my age? LOL I just want to see a light at the end of this very long tunnel.
Can't relate to abuse. But can to wanting to feel normal. Abuse was 20 years. Therapy 4 years. So yes, it will take time to get over or at least be less triggered by it. Think of it like grief it has stages & will come and go in intensity.
Saying that high functioning alcoholism isn't a problem is very insulting my former step was sort of a high functioning alcoholic meaning he drank alcohol everyday but but still got up and got up for work everyday and also did things around the house but he couldn't control his alcohol and alot of problems came with that like he was also mentally and physically abusive to us and he would steal money from my mom for his drugs and eventually led to him doing more drugs so yah Saying that's not a problem well that's really beyond insulting so yah high functioning alcoholism is often a real problem
Good morning everyone!
Therapist's need to train cops and detectives. I went to a precinct to file a battery report (out of statue of limitations) and the detective said "saying mean things" isn't abuse. It was insensitive and incorrect since what also makes "mean things" abuse is the age of the victim and the length of time, plus how much of a hostage situation the victim was in. Blatant-ness, etc.
Hello and good morning kati and good evening from UK I had a very bad day I lost my phone and I had a panic attack I'm just glad I could still watch and listen because these podcasts really do help me get though my struggle
Time stamps!
Q1 1:39
Q2 9:49
Q3 21:09
Q4 33:55
Q5 40:32
Q6 50:23
Q7 58:10
Q8 1:01:31
Q9 1:09:34
Thank you. I love time stamps.
Question 4 is the best❤ omg I’m 33 too. I will Leave my relationship bc I get not understanding but not trying is another thing:( 😢 ❤ I told my counselor when I started counseling 2years ago I was a “baby” now I found my words and im in the process of talking about bpd in sessions. I’ve been communicating too but it feels like people dnt believe u as well. I hate when people think I should work smh 🤦🏽♀️ im still struggling. P.s ty Riley for the index of questions 🤗 ❤
I always feel fine the day of therapy. Thanks to whoever was question 2
Haha no problem it was mee 😊💕
There’s a wonderful book ‘Heart Dog: how to survive the loss of your canine soulmate’. I lost 2 pups in a fire and a veterinarian friend sent a copy to me. I even handed it to my therapist to read to help her understand things from a pet parent vs a human parent. I wish you well as you process your grief.
As a therapist I can relate to everything you are saying. Thank you for being professional and not judgmental towards other therapists 🙏🙏🙏
I asked the first question and girl you’re spot on - I’m a people pleasing highly sensitive person with boundary issues 🥴🤣 Thank you so much for your response! I did end up talking with her about it and she made it clear that it had nothing to do with me and that she didn’t want me fretting over how what I say affects her! And hasn’t bounced her leg since!
Thank you for the disclosure and for speaking about this! But wouldn't that be harmful to her? Knowing that she had to work and/or harm herself by letting it not show to keep you from fretting over the effects on her of your words?
you are such a clever therapist, the way you explain things makes everything so much easier to understand
My autistic brain was so happy with all the funny noises Kati made in this episode 😊
Question 2 is definitely me to an extent. I can have bad days or certain things on my mind and then often when I get to therapy I almost forget or just feel okay. Definitely need to start writing things down during the week.
I just wanted to let you know that persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia) was listed instead of dysthymic disorder in the DSM-5 and the newest update removed dysthymia from the parentheses as well, so it is no longer in the DSM.
I LOVE THE PUFFY SLEEVES
I love the book thing around question 4. My boyfriend bought himself a book about borderline and after the first chapters he called me to thank me that I am not extremely toxic. The more he reads the more he understands how hard everything is and his compassion grows every time (get yourself someone like this!)
Therapist leg bouncing could very very well be simply COFFEEeeeeeee .... it's taken me a while to learn to manage my caffeine intake to minimize this.
I had to quit caffeine completely to not go crazy with my anxiety and raised heart beat.
Something I look forward to each Thursday morning
I procrastinated going on my run the entire day cause I knew your podcast is coming out this afternoon … gonna go lace up my shoes now haha ;) no excuses 🥰
P.s this has got to be the favourite time of my week, running whilst listening to you and having a self care sesh afterwards :) aka long bath, reading my book,…
Hugs from a fellow health professional :)
Wow that's so cool I also always listen to the podcast while running💕🏃
VERY helpful! Addressed so many issues I wanted to hear about. Just at the right time. Thanks
I think being fine the day of therapy can be explained by all the points Kati made. I would add the possibility of confirming the feeling I am a fake, that I am making something out of nothing. It is also a feeling that I am not believed or really understood. It can be giving up or self-sabotaging. I also feel the therapist is bored by me and not interested and that I'm just repeating myself.
Thank you Kati! Always enjoy listening to those❤️❤️❤️
The variety in the questions lately are incredible!!
Great podcast. As a person who struggles with PTSD, I feel incredibly weak knowing someone could be fine because they are more resilient. Sometimes it makes me feel worse. Am I alone?
You are not alone. From what I understand, lots of things are built into our DNA and therefore are not our responsibility whatsoever. You didn’t choose this. And once we can wholly accept this, we can get to work. 💛
Hello everyone and good evening to you all its 18:01 here in uk hope people are doing ok really been needing this new AKA today had a panic attack today and my anxiety s been bad lost my phone today and too just thankful the temporary phone I'm useing I could still watch and listen to kati
I am sorry that your day was so shitty, but I am glad that this day nearly over now. Maybe you feel less alone when I tell you about my day… cause I fucked up a math exam… I love math and usually am about an A+ (15NP). It feels like I lost one of the only things I can do. It was also my last exam before my finals (that I have not learned for yet because I am so scared) … but I believe that we both will get through this. I send love and hugs!😘
Thanks for the answer about pets it hits close two home as I lost two pets Who passed away within a month of each other.
Always look forward to these! 👏🏻
Allison Williams.👋 Hello again nice to see your name again how have you been doing
Hi, Patrick at Mind Life Flow here...another great video answering interesting questions in an honest and authentic way!
You’re voice is so relaxing.
I love your videos!
Stephen Behr. Completely gree with you kati always calms me and makes me feel relaxed every time I hear er voice iv always loved her videos too
I don’t understand how you can say “we can’t make people feel a certain way”. Are you just referring to mentally healthy people? I know that other people’s words or actions can definitely influence my emotions and make me feel a certain way. I am a people pleaser & highly sensitive person, though. Thank you, Kati
Great podcast.Just found it😊
Other people do things and you tend to feel a certain way. BUT they could not decide “J must feel X way” and make that happen for sure. Maybe your therapist teaches you a tool to be less affected by that thing they do and your feelings no longer go the way they expect. They don’t have control over your mind. And you don’t have control over theirs.
@@jewelsbarbie Hello didn't see your name here when I was on here the first time how u been? X
@@jewelsbarbie Sorry my bad wrong person
@@anniekate76 hello again didn't see your name here the first time watching kati how have you been doing I had a very bad day lost my phone had a bad panic attack while I was out coming back from a appointment anxiety been bad today
I too am a person who notices my therapist's body language and thoughts about it and what it might mean plague me and distract me during the session as a regular thing. I struggle with executive dysfunction and auditory procesisng as an autistic person and figured it was that. In my daily life I have always had to closely monitor other people's body language because i misinterpret what they really mean when they say words and forget the gist of things without those visual cues.
Post Secret! they have a website too where they post weekly secrets
Thank you to who ever asked question 3 about what is high functioning depression this was a good question and informative to me and helped me understand it better I just know I have depression I don't know what type I can take your advice too because I could relate to the question 💓
I have moments where I wonder if my depression can be high functioning. Today was definitely not high functioning. I am working through emdr and after a difficult session I have spent the whole day in bed. So I wonder if a person can flip flop between high functioning and no functioning. Good sharing though Nikki. It's great you are identifying and finding what is helpful!
Thanks for the answer to Q4, you have definitely given me something to think about in terms of there needing to be a next step. I don't suppose you'd consider doing a video on what exactly facing a phobia *feels* like, that I could share with them 🤣? And if we wanted to get weirdly specific, on having medical focused phobias during a pandemic, where even psychologists falls into your brains category of "medical" things/people/situations to avoid. I think moving forward it's probably a good idea to let my psychologist have a crack and bringing my partner to a session, I like the idea of letting her do the heavy lifting on this one and give my own tired arms a break 😜. Thanks again for the answer, wish me luck!
Judge Kati!
The book/website is called Post Secret.
Great content, love your input.
Dear Katie
I think I have persistent depressive disorder and/or autism. My therapist doesn’t think I have autism but I’m 22 now and have suspected that I have autism since I was 16 so. Idk how to bring it back up because on the first appointment he kind of immediately was like “you’re not autistic. Why do you think your autistic?” And he described autism in a way that seemed very outdated to me. So idk how to bring it back up now
PS I’m a female and I know autism can present itself in different ways with different sexes so I’m not sure if maybe he’s thinking of male autism because of how he was taught
I have no idea but it’s been bothering me and isk how to bring it back up
I suddenly feel better when I go to therapy or completely go blank when I really need to talk about it and I remember as a child my stomach would hurt in class and on the way to the nurses office I would feel better and I feel like that’s some how related but idk how
I'd just like to share on here because with my temporary phone I can't get Instagram or other apps I went to see s good Dr at my local hospital the other day who I shared everything with and thank full she is going to help me get back into therapy
This color is crazy beautiful!!!!!😍
Hi! What do you mean?
@@OTDM I love the color of your shirt and how it matches with your eyes and hair. The video started and it was one of those “damn yes” moments for me.^^
@@natascha_mephisto I agree with you kati did look nice in that top and matched her eyes and her hair kati always looks nice 🙂
How long does it take for therapy to start working and really helping me? I started it about 6 months before I have to leave for an exchange year because me and my family thought it would be good to deal with my anxiety and stress before I leave. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep in contact with my therapist online when I’m gone and so I wonder if it’ll even be beneficial for a such short period of time
Yes it would be beneficial. Even 3 months. Any less & its less helpful. Takes a while for information to be understood & acted upon & form new habits
Hi Kati. Please select my question for the next episode. I've commented on your previous posts where you ask for questions.
Hi Ujala, the audience picks the questions :)
Ujala Bashir ch. Hello sometimes it can take a few weeks before your question is on the podcast if it was chosen it all depends on how meany people like your question or leave a comment also depends if your question can relate to what other people are suffering from sometime s getting your question picked you just have to wait or keep trying again each week in hopes people will give you alout of likes kati picks the question s with the most likes and 1 or 2 random questions this only advice I can give you
I like your question, I found it on the most recent post and left you some thoughts. Keep trying, a lot of what gets a question enough community likes to get answered is just adding your Q as soon as Kati posts!
i love your shirt/dress :) (i cant see if its a shirt or dress or not) it looks lovely on you
Hey Kati, I am 64 and I started having flashbacks about childhood sexual abuse when I was 45. I started therapy when I was 49 and had a great therapist that I saw for about 4 years. I also had been in an abusive marriage for 20 years that my therapist also helped me to leave and recover from. I started having issues in my new marriage (Of three years) sexually and disassociating again when we are intimate. I also started having panic attacks. I started back in therapy with a new therapist about a month ago and just cant believe that i am still dealing with this stuff. Is this normal? I feel emotionally overwhelmed since I went back into therapy. I am just wanting to feel normal, is that even possible at my age? LOL I just want to see a light at the end of this very long tunnel.
Can't relate to abuse. But can to wanting to feel normal. Abuse was 20 years. Therapy 4 years. So yes, it will take time to get over or at least be less triggered by it. Think of it like grief it has stages & will come and go in intensity.
Lol I was spanked but I deserved it. However I use to get so mad my face would get red and I would hold my breath.
Could a poor dealt past mental health issue, turn into trauma
That introduction song is depressing to me.
Saying that high functioning alcoholism isn't a problem is very insulting my former step was sort of a high functioning alcoholic meaning he drank alcohol everyday but but still got up and got up for work everyday and also did things around the house but he couldn't control his alcohol and alot of problems came with that like he was also mentally and physically abusive to us and he would steal money from my mom for his drugs and eventually led to him doing more drugs so yah Saying that's not a problem well that's really beyond insulting so yah high functioning alcoholism is often a real problem
I did not hear her say it isn’t a problem. She just said it means they are still holding down a job and their family has not left yet.
She basically did say it's a problem but I meant alot of people around the world say it isn't a problem and well they are dead wrong