I was fortunate enough to do cognitive talk therapy when I was 32. I was anorexic, OCD and tendencies toward perfection and at that time I also found out I inherited manic-depression. My starting self- esteem between 0-100 was 27, I loathed myself so much that I would put my makeup on in low lighting because I couldn’t stand looking at my face w/o makeup. He gave me affirmations to write daily.At first I couldn’t write certain sentences ie “ I like myself.” Then he gave me assignments to try during the 2 weeks between sessions. Like taking time out for myself, reading a book etc, up to actually going to lunch or a movie by myself. He taught me I could like my own company. I wish I would have been able to finish the work regarding the abuse but I wasn’t ready then 🤦♀️😢 7:32
Timestamps! 0:38 1. Can you please explain the difference between when it is important to "feel your feelings"/sit with your feelings versus when you should use distraction based coping skills? I feel like I get stuck doing too... 22:19 2. I am wondering what you would constitute an “emergency” that would be acceptable for your client to reach out to you between sessions. I am constantly worried about crossing boundaries and not bothering my therapist, especially... 30:14 3. Could you go deeper into what a flashback actually is? What is the difference between a flashback and an emotional flashback, or body memories. How do triggers come into play also? You have mentioned that with a flashback you go back to another time, a place, do you physically... 41:18 4. Can you talk a bit about the importance and healing power of the therapeutic relationship (specifically for trauma) and corrective emotional experiences with a therapist? I’ve been seeing my therapist for almost... 47:39 5. Do you know what causes such a hollow, empty feeling inside, and how to fix it? I have C-PTSD, depression and anxiety from childhood emotional neglect and am in therapy working on self-worth. I've made a lot... 51:20 6. As a therapist, what would you think if a client told you that masturbation is often accompanied by self-injurious behavior? What is meant by this is that the body performs certain autodestructive actions... 1:04:47 7. I keep hearing that therapy is supposed to be hard work and people have "therapy hangovers" and all this stuff but I don't and I feel like I must be doing something wrong. Is it cause for concern that it hasn’t been... 1:06:53 8. I'd like to hear Kati's thoughts on what to do about passive suicidal thoughts. I feel like because I don't have active thoughts of suicide then I shouldn't make a big deal out of it in therapy, even though it's a big deal to... 1:12:30 9. How do CZcamsrs set healthy boundaries with their viewers and listeners who often emotionally depend on them? I read a lot of comments about CZcams videos helping with anxiety and depression, but does it ever feel like a responsibility to keep up the work?
In bed w covers up to my neck, sick and grieving the recent death of my 88 yr old daddy.Being so sick is making me feel even sadder😭. I’m allowing myself permission to cry and let go of my emotions. Yesterday I handled the death notifications and finances.6:35
My answer to “why do we need to feel our feelings?” Is more on a cellular/scientific level…I’m no scientist but this makes sense to me..that feelings are like energy, a bunch of molecules stirring around..so if we “allow” this energy to stir..witness it..it’s allowed to dissipate. If we repress our feelings the energy isn’t allowed to express itself, causing tension in our bodies..it’s kind of like a pot of boiling water..if you put the lid on it, it will boil over creating a big “mess”…if you take the lid off the steam is allowed to escape and the water will just freely boil away.. no mess..I just made this up..but this is my take on it..an analogy so to speak
Today I'm annoyed, tired, and always overwhelmed. I wish I was one of those people who had respectful emotions instead of full blown meltdown emotions. It's hard to believe I'm the adult here sometimes with how much I just want to break down from how I feel. 😞
Thank you for answering my comment about using masturbation as a way to punish myself. I understand sooo many signs point towards sexual abuse, I do have that hunch but no matter how hard I try I just can't remember anything. Literally nothing or anyone. I had a very unpredictable dad that went from lavish love (bordering on worship) to completely disappearing for years at a time. He eventually committed suicide when I was seventeen. Because of my dad's inconsistencies, my mom acted mostly as a single mom, and was always working and travelling for business meetings. I grew up with my grandparents (mom's side). I don't remember fearing them. Both were pretty loving people, especially my grandfather, who turned 90 last september! However, I have to recognize my grandma was controlling, perfectionistic, and emotionally abusive. The thing is I simply don't have any memories of her being physically abusive nor sexually abusive in any way. I just can't remember anything that would explain why was I sexualized at such a young age. I don't have an explanation. I also don't have any answers... I am trying so hard to work on myself in therapy. And I've made some progress. Anyways, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts about this, I really do appreciate it.
Like Kati said, most people don’t have long term adult-style memories from early childhood. We are learning a lot at that age, and so there would be other types of memory, including procedural and emotional learning about what is safe and normal and what is not. So it makes sense that you would not be able to remember anything in the sense of “I have a movie I can play back in my mind or a story I can tell that makes sense” from before age 4. It would be normal for a child that age to touch their private parts because they happened to discover that it feels nice. Then the normal parenting tactic is for the parent to gently explain that this is a normal thing that feels nice but we only do it in private, just like going potty. But what you describe is really different from that. It’s not proof but it seems like strong evidence that something should be investigated. Maybe you could find other evidence if you have any family or other people you could talk to who knew you as a child - but don’t get back in contact with anyone you don’t feel safe around.
Hi dear, as one of the commenters said, it is a normal part of childhood development to learn to touch themselves, it can also be a way to self sooth, or relieve anxiety when a child is too young to know how else express their feelings. ALSO, children who experience neglect and/or abuse, who become traumatized, feel a lot of shame and guilt, we internalize that abuse and neglect, think it’s our fault, think there’s something wrong with us, so it makes sense that you would feel the need to punish yourself. What you’re writing about here, seems in my unprofessional opinion, more enough to prompt these feelings and behaviors you describe. Maybe something happened you don’t remember. But don’t let anybody try to convince you of something that you’re not sure of yourself. I just went through that myself, trying to remember something that didn’t happen, it made things worse. Focus on what you know, focus on how you feel now, and what you can do to lead a life worth living.
A discussion about parasocial relationships would be pretty interesting. Often, I'll joke about my "internet friends", and while I do have channels I'll watch pretty regularly, there's no belief that any of the people on them have any obligation to some random person that comments on their videos.
One night I woke up and sat straight up in the dark bedroom , my heart was racing but I couldn’t move as I heard what sounded like voices in our LR and the sound of someone trying to open the bedroom door. My husband was in another BR and there wasn’t anyone else in the house. I just sat frozen in place until it went away🫢. The only “ body memory” I have is the feeling of a heavy weight on my body and feeling scared but I don’t have flashbacks about who, when or where. I hope someday to have the time to finish my healing for the sake of our 44 yr marriage 😢 7:08
Thank you for talking about children and their parents and sharing about emotions with each other. My parents usually hid their emotions and we did not talk freely about them. We've tried to be opposite with our children and I can tell that we are all closer because of that. It's one thing I feel like I'm doing ok at as a parent.
Well done for highlighting an aspect of parenting you think you're doing well. I find it allows others to dare to believe they are doing alright, even on days where it feels like too much. Good positive parenting vibes
New podcast. Yeey! Thanks Kati! About 'feeling your feelings' vs 'distraction'. I'm amazingly good at building up stress. I'm using a 'stress-scale' from 1 to 100. 1 is 'I am super relaxed and bored or falling asleep' and 100 is 'it is too much to handle. I'm panicking'. If my stress is at +/- 75 or higher, I am using distractionskills to bring down my stress/anxiety. If I try to feel my feelings at that point... Then it is too much to handle. If I'm lower on the scale I'm able to feel my feelings and investigate what the triggers were.
The feelings wheel was a major contributor to some of my healing. Once I identified the names if the feelings associated with a traumatic wound, that wound was accepted as part of my history and integrated into my being.
Good afternoon to all you Kati followers and watchers also Any of the Kati community👋 if you are here and hello to any of my friends iv made .Though my time following and watching AKA podcast. The time now in uk is 5:08pm I'm watching and listening now seems I'm 1 hour late and missed. The live AKA still I never miss this I need Kati s podcast every Thursday as part of my week. Share how's everyone doing right now?
Thank you so much for answering my question. Your videos and the community are and always will be a great resource and they always show that none of us is alone and there is always someone somewhere in the world who has a very similar problem. This takes away that heavy feeling and it helps immensely to feel connected and no longer alone, especially when it comes to the "tough topics". Thank you for bringing a little more clarity to our thoughts and our personal stories every week. Many greetings from Germany
I am certain nothing happened to me as a kid, I would still randomly find myself doing weird things, it was more wierd then, not like it is as an adult, but here and there I would explore random ideas that I have no idea where they came from I am a believer all of us are a product of a wider range of community, I certainly cannot explain some of my strange behaviors as a kid, but I remember them fairly vividly, nothing happened directly to me, no more then what any other kid is/was exposed to. Being, or feeling like such a strange person all on my own has led me to feel uncomfortable about sharing that side of myself with anyone, ... that has been a real struggle, in part likely because I did not have a father. Personally believe in a spiritual side of life, not going to dig into that here... Love the honesty explored in these videos
Lilbees Baylin. hello and welcome to AKA podcast and to Kati I agree her advice is always so deep and helpful very informative she's helped so Meany of us to feel calm and relaxed with her voice and just how she explains everything 😊
I have always been really afraid of talking about a specific thing that kept happening to me throughout my early childhood. I have never told anyone and I think about it every day. It effects my daily life as I will be doing some random task and all the sudden I will remember it just disrupts everything. I have always been told I am too sensitive and I blow everything out of proportion so I’ve always been afraid of sharing this part of my past with my therapist. What should I do? What if I am making a big deal out of nothing. Thanks so much for everything you do.
Thnx, for answering question 6. It became a main topic in therapy recently, and struggling as I find the shame and guilt to be quite intense. I was told before it is a fysilogical response, but with even logical knowing that I still find it quite hard it happened during the abuse. I find afterwards my sh is quite bad and don't feel any pleasure of it (it refers to physical sexual touch). And was looking with my therapist for a support group of people who have gone to similar things. And was wondering if someone in the community knows of these? I'm from Europe but an online English speaking group I'm fine with too.
Another super episode.💜Thank U Kati so much for your time,thoughtfulness,experience & skill. It shows how much you care about everyone & want the best health for everyone 💜
Watching this 7 months late but the discussion around when to call your therapist in an emergency kind of blew my mind. What would you think about a therapist who has openly stated she does not and will not respond to texts, calls, or emails between sessions. Basically if you’re in crisis you’re on your own. She has openly freaked out on sessions over the concern I wasn’t going to magically be ok by the end of the session and instead of helping me come up with a plan or tools to cope she’s demanding to know if I’m safe and telling me if I’m not she’s calling the cops. I find it very confusing and tried to talk through it with her but she didn’t seem to get it or just repeated she’s an outpatient therapist. I didn’t think this was so outside her scope and all crisis lines and even hospitals do in the end is turn you right back to your therapist so… I had myself kind of gaslit over what was normal or not anymore since I’m basically seeing this therapist to heal from a very harmful and abusive therapist I had a very screwy boundaries were all crossed kind of relationship with. But I never found it strange that she would’ve been who I reached out to an emergency. I thought that part was pretty normal. Then again, I was doubting myself because I spent years in therapy with someone I knew had screwy ethics but kept convincing myself was a great therapist. I realize that could be a concern of my current therapist. Not wanting to cross boundaries because of how badly harmed I’ve been by that. But it felt absolutely awful and like I was being told no one cared for me at a time when I needed to hear it most. And I don’t feel like my current therapist is actually my partner in this journey or whatever. Seems like she’s just a person who sits on the opposite end of the room taking notes and witnessing me rambling my traumas out loud. So I don’t know which of us has problematic expectations here. I don’t know what normal is in therapy anymore. Or how to trust my gut when something feels off. I don’t know. I am seeing this current therapist twice a week. I’ve never done that before. So tossing that out there if that would change how you view this. Because eh maybe there’s a point to be had that if I’m needing more help than those two hours a week maybe I do need something else. But is the problem the therapist or me? Is that expecting too much from an outpatient therapist?
I agree with the person that said the crisis text line isn’t that helpful…I mean it did keep me from cutting twice but it left me feeling like I still needed more conversation before they abruptly ended the conversation. My therapist is amazing but not the type to text with clients between sessions unless it’s during business hours. Those are just her boundaries.
Thanks Kati, this was wonderful! God bless you for your work ❤ In therapy, should I only be bringing up one thing I am struggling with in each session or can I bring up multiple things? Me and my therapist talk about a range of different topics each session e.g. my trauma, anxiety and addictions etc. Is it better to only focus on one topic and work on healing in one area of my life before bring up something new? I feel like we don't spend enough time on each topic and address it properly. Thanks heaps!
Kati Morton. I'd just like to say hello and good. Afternoon from Nikki you look much better hope you are fully Recovered now hope you have a nice morning.And good day with what ever else you are doing today ❤️
Allison Williams. Good afternoon hello a name I always see and recognize how are you doing how are you feeling this morning or afternoon as I don't know where you are from ?
HEY KATIE! Love your videos 💚 I've been following you for a 3 weeks now! I wished I found you years ago when I got medically discharge from the military, which distoried me because thats all I've ever wanted to do, I'm also was adopted into a military family so it was my identity and still makes me angry today that i failed my family to be a soldier! I saw a college therapist years ago did 4 session and I felt a bit better and left! But I also sechuldel my first therapy session because I'm going back to this angry self loathing, empty person that I don't like or I just don't like myself! The session is in a week from now, but I might cancel because I don't feel as bad as I have been and I don't know why!? But maybe I'm making myself feel better so I wouldn't have to go to therapy?! Or is it possible that all of my problems have gone away? I'm burned out by my 2 job have been for years and its ( probably) high functioning depression, I work 55 to 65hrs a week, I'm a workaholic, I push people away, this might be because I've moved 4 times in my life's and I was adopted, I don't like intimacy, but i wished i had friends but I was bullied all my life, and was bullied at my last job, I moved to a different state a year and half ago to start over a new life (or ran away), lonely but love it at the same time, I bottle up my emotions and I love my day dreams, which I've been doing for 20 pluse years now and I feel total numb now, and 100% anti social!! Why do I feel totally fine now? I love my daydreams and maybe I like being depressed which sounds aweful, but I dont want to do anything, but stay in my room all day except work! why do I feel fine now? Is it the work or just the thought of getting better scares me because what I feel now all these things have been my normal for more than 2 decades, i don't want to change? I'm an over thinker and I'm thinking this is to long, I'm sorry! Thank you for all that you do!
These comments about childhood masturbation are grossly inaccurate. You of all people should know that its very common. It can be a way to self sooth due to stress, and have nothing to do with sex or abuse. It’s part of normal childhood sexual development, no one needs to be taught, it’s instinctual 🤦🏼♀️
Many times when I sit down to "feel my feelings", I just feel a lot of pain that lasts for hours. It's like the feelings are stuck and they don't move anywhere. After a while, I give up and distract myself. Am I doing something wrong? Is there something I'm missing in this process? :(
When you say pain, is it emotional, physical or both? For me it's emotional pain that turns into physical pain and it's a similar experience except I end up counselling myself through it or dissociating, the pain doesn't often dissipate without this. Just wondering if your experience is similar
@@nikkiellery759 I would say it's emotional pain that I feel physically as well. I try talking myself down and it's better than nothing, but it doesn't snap me out of it. I dissociate too if it lasts a long enough time. I guess it depends on the intensity. I'm sorry you experience something similar. :(
It's alright, I like to think of hsps or people with bpd as the people of the world that feel deeply for ourselves and everyone else. Not in a martyrdom way but it's a skill to feel these things and show up everyday, I like to think of it as the power of depth.
re flashback question. A representation similar to my one flashback linked below (from west wing tv show) czcams.com/video/E-kj4naK5zs/video.html I describe my flashback as watching an IMAX movie of the event while strapped into a rollercoaster - full sound, colour and emotion .... I was along for the ride. A very unsettling experience. Triggered by watching an episode of 24 that had a scene that reminded me of the event.
I was fortunate enough to do cognitive talk therapy when I was 32.
I was anorexic, OCD and tendencies toward perfection and at that time I also found out I inherited manic-depression.
My starting self- esteem between 0-100 was 27, I loathed myself so much that I would put my makeup on in low lighting because I couldn’t stand looking at my face w/o makeup.
He gave me affirmations to write daily.At first I couldn’t write certain sentences ie “ I like myself.”
Then he gave me assignments to try during the 2 weeks between sessions.
Like taking time out for myself, reading a book etc, up to actually going to lunch or a movie by myself.
He taught me I could like my own company.
I wish I would have been able to finish the work regarding the abuse but I wasn’t ready then 🤦♀️😢 7:32
Timestamps!
0:38 1. Can you please explain the difference between when it is important to "feel your feelings"/sit with your feelings versus when you should use distraction based coping skills? I feel like I get stuck doing too...
22:19 2. I am wondering what you would constitute an “emergency” that would be acceptable for your client to reach out to you between sessions. I am constantly worried about crossing boundaries and not bothering my therapist, especially...
30:14 3. Could you go deeper into what a flashback actually is? What is the difference between a flashback and an emotional flashback, or body memories. How do triggers come into play also? You have mentioned that with a flashback you go back to another time, a place, do you physically...
41:18 4. Can you talk a bit about the importance and healing power of the therapeutic relationship (specifically for trauma) and corrective emotional experiences with a therapist? I’ve been seeing my therapist for almost...
47:39 5. Do you know what causes such a hollow, empty feeling inside, and how to fix it? I have C-PTSD, depression and anxiety from childhood emotional neglect and am in therapy working on self-worth. I've made a lot...
51:20 6. As a therapist, what would you think if a client told you that masturbation is often accompanied by self-injurious behavior? What is meant by this is that the body performs certain autodestructive actions...
1:04:47 7. I keep hearing that therapy is supposed to be hard work and people have "therapy hangovers" and all this stuff but I don't and I feel like I must be doing something wrong. Is it cause for concern that it hasn’t been...
1:06:53 8. I'd like to hear Kati's thoughts on what to do about passive suicidal thoughts. I feel like because I don't have active thoughts of suicide then I shouldn't make a big deal out of it in therapy, even though it's a big deal to...
1:12:30 9. How do CZcamsrs set healthy boundaries with their viewers and listeners who often emotionally depend on them? I read a lot of comments about CZcams videos helping with anxiety and depression, but does it ever feel like a responsibility to keep up the work?
You’re the best!! 💗💗😉
Anniekate76. thank you as always for the timestamps to each question very helpful 👍😊
@@Katimorton I know you are but what am I? @Nikki hi again! Hope this week has been good for you!
Thank you needed this!
In bed w covers up to my neck, sick and grieving the recent death of my 88 yr old daddy.Being so sick is making me feel even sadder😭.
I’m allowing myself permission to cry and let go of my emotions.
Yesterday I handled the death notifications and finances.6:35
My answer to “why do we need to feel our feelings?” Is more on a cellular/scientific level…I’m no scientist but this makes sense to me..that feelings are like energy, a bunch of molecules stirring around..so if we “allow” this energy to stir..witness it..it’s allowed to dissipate. If we repress our feelings the energy isn’t allowed to express itself, causing tension in our bodies..it’s kind of like a pot of boiling water..if you put the lid on it, it will boil over creating a big “mess”…if you take the lid off the steam is allowed to escape and the water will just freely boil away.. no mess..I just made this up..but this is my take on it..an analogy so to speak
Agree
Today I'm annoyed, tired, and always overwhelmed. I wish I was one of those people who had respectful emotions instead of full blown meltdown emotions. It's hard to believe I'm the adult here sometimes with how much I just want to break down from how I feel. 😞
Thank you for answering my comment about using masturbation as a way to punish myself. I understand sooo many signs point towards sexual abuse, I do have that hunch but no matter how hard I try I just can't remember anything. Literally nothing or anyone.
I had a very unpredictable dad that went from lavish love (bordering on worship) to completely disappearing for years at a time. He eventually committed suicide when I was seventeen. Because of my dad's inconsistencies, my mom acted mostly as a single mom, and was always working and travelling for business meetings. I grew up with my grandparents (mom's side). I don't remember fearing them. Both were pretty loving people, especially my grandfather, who turned 90 last september! However, I have to recognize my grandma was controlling, perfectionistic, and emotionally abusive. The thing is I simply don't have any memories of her being physically abusive nor sexually abusive in any way. I just can't remember anything that would explain why was I sexualized at such a young age. I don't have an explanation. I also don't have any answers... I am trying so hard to work on myself in therapy. And I've made some progress.
Anyways, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts about this, I really do appreciate it.
Like Kati said, most people don’t have long term adult-style memories from early childhood. We are learning a lot at that age, and so there would be other types of memory, including procedural and emotional learning about what is safe and normal and what is not. So it makes sense that you would not be able to remember anything in the sense of “I have a movie I can play back in my mind or a story I can tell that makes sense” from before age 4.
It would be normal for a child that age to touch their private parts because they happened to discover that it feels nice. Then the normal parenting tactic is for the parent to gently explain that this is a normal thing that feels nice but we only do it in private, just like going potty. But what you describe is really different from that. It’s not proof but it seems like strong evidence that something should be investigated. Maybe you could find other evidence if you have any family or other people you could talk to who knew you as a child - but don’t get back in contact with anyone you don’t feel safe around.
Is there a way media (films, images, magazines, ...) or conversations with peers could have had any influence?
Hi dear, as one of the commenters said, it is a normal part of childhood development to learn to touch themselves, it can also be a way to self sooth, or relieve anxiety when a child is too young to know how else express their feelings. ALSO, children who experience neglect and/or abuse, who become traumatized, feel a lot of shame and guilt, we internalize that abuse and neglect, think it’s our fault, think there’s something wrong with us, so it makes sense that you would feel the need to punish yourself. What you’re writing about here, seems in my unprofessional opinion, more enough to prompt these feelings and behaviors you describe. Maybe something happened you don’t remember. But don’t let anybody try to convince you of something that you’re not sure of yourself. I just went through that myself, trying to remember something that didn’t happen, it made things worse. Focus on what you know, focus on how you feel now, and what you can do to lead a life worth living.
I love how you were like ‘we’re all adults here’. I wonder how many teens are here. I’m 16
I'm 18
I see you as an adult 👍
@@handlemonium well now I’m 18
A discussion about parasocial relationships would be pretty interesting. Often, I'll joke about my "internet friends", and while I do have channels I'll watch pretty regularly, there's no belief that any of the people on them have any obligation to some random person that comments on their videos.
One night I woke up and sat straight up in the dark bedroom , my heart was racing but I couldn’t move as I heard what sounded like voices in our LR and the sound of someone trying to open the bedroom door.
My husband was in another BR and there wasn’t anyone else in the house.
I just sat frozen in place until it went away🫢.
The only “ body memory” I have is the feeling of a heavy weight on my body and feeling scared but I don’t have flashbacks about who, when or where.
I hope someday to have the time to finish my healing for the sake of our 44 yr marriage 😢 7:08
Thank you for talking about children and their parents and sharing about emotions with each other. My parents usually hid their emotions and we did not talk freely about them. We've tried to be opposite with our children and I can tell that we are all closer because of that. It's one thing I feel like I'm doing ok at as a parent.
Well done for highlighting an aspect of parenting you think you're doing well. I find it allows others to dare to believe they are doing alright, even on days where it feels like too much. Good positive parenting vibes
New podcast. Yeey! Thanks Kati! About 'feeling your feelings' vs 'distraction'. I'm amazingly good at building up stress. I'm using a 'stress-scale' from 1 to 100. 1 is 'I am super relaxed and bored or falling asleep' and 100 is 'it is too much to handle. I'm panicking'. If my stress is at +/- 75 or higher, I am using distractionskills to bring down my stress/anxiety. If I try to feel my feelings at that point... Then it is too much to handle. If I'm lower on the scale I'm able to feel my feelings and investigate what the triggers were.
The feelings wheel was a major contributor to some of my healing. Once I identified the names if the feelings associated with a traumatic wound, that wound was accepted as part of my history and integrated into my being.
Good afternoon to all you Kati followers and watchers also Any of the Kati community👋 if you are here and hello to any of my friends iv made .Though my time following and watching AKA podcast. The time now in uk is 5:08pm I'm watching and listening now seems I'm 1 hour late and missed. The live AKA still I never miss this I need Kati s podcast every Thursday as part of my week. Share how's everyone doing right now?
Thank you so much for answering my question. Your videos and the community are and always will be a great resource and they always show that none of us is alone and there is always someone somewhere in the world who has a very similar problem. This takes away that heavy feeling and it helps immensely to feel connected and no longer alone, especially when it comes to the "tough topics". Thank you for bringing a little more clarity to our thoughts and our personal stories every week.
Many greetings from Germany
I am certain nothing happened to me as a kid, I would still randomly find myself doing weird things, it was more wierd then, not like it is as an adult, but here and there I would explore random ideas that I have no idea where they came from
I am a believer all of us are a product of a wider range of community, I certainly cannot explain some of my strange behaviors as a kid, but I remember them fairly vividly, nothing happened directly to me, no more then what any other kid is/was exposed to.
Being, or feeling like such a strange person all on my own has led me to feel uncomfortable about sharing that side of myself with anyone, ... that has been a real struggle, in part likely because I did not have a father.
Personally believe in a spiritual side of life, not going to dig into that here...
Love the honesty explored in these videos
Wow! Just found you. This format and your advice is wonderful and so insightful. Deep thanks.
Aww yay! I’m so glad you found it helpful!! 💗💗
Lilbees Baylin. hello and welcome to AKA podcast and to Kati I agree her advice is always so deep and helpful very informative she's helped so Meany of us to feel calm and relaxed with her voice and just how she explains everything 😊
Yaay thanks so much for this podcast again! I always love to listen to it on Thursday nights💕 It really helps and gives a little consistency.
I have always been really afraid of talking about a specific thing that kept happening to me throughout my early childhood. I have never told anyone and I think about it every day. It effects my daily life as I will be doing some random task and all the sudden I will remember it just disrupts everything. I have always been told I am too sensitive and I blow everything out of proportion so I’ve always been afraid of sharing this part of my past with my therapist. What should I do? What if I am making a big deal out of nothing. Thanks so much for everything you do.
Thnx, for answering question 6. It became a main topic in therapy recently, and struggling as I find the shame and guilt to be quite intense. I was told before it is a fysilogical response, but with even logical knowing that I still find it quite hard it happened during the abuse. I find afterwards my sh is quite bad and don't feel any pleasure of it (it refers to physical sexual touch). And was looking with my therapist for a support group of people who have gone to similar things. And was wondering if someone in the community knows of these? I'm from Europe but an online English speaking group I'm fine with too.
Had to laugh a bit. Kati said the beauty of CZcams is that you can listen at 2 in the morning. How did she know that's when I listen?
You are so helpful-low energy or not. Just began this video and already grateful i tuned in.
Thank you for being our "resource", I always find it very insightful :)
This week's questions are all good but questions 5/8 stick out for me
Another super episode.💜Thank U Kati so much for your time,thoughtfulness,experience & skill. It shows how much you care about everyone & want the best health for everyone 💜
Great video!!!
Watching this 7 months late but the discussion around when to call your therapist in an emergency kind of blew my mind. What would you think about a therapist who has openly stated she does not and will not respond to texts, calls, or emails between sessions. Basically if you’re in crisis you’re on your own. She has openly freaked out on sessions over the concern I wasn’t going to magically be ok by the end of the session and instead of helping me come up with a plan or tools to cope she’s demanding to know if I’m safe and telling me if I’m not she’s calling the cops.
I find it very confusing and tried to talk through it with her but she didn’t seem to get it or just repeated she’s an outpatient therapist. I didn’t think this was so outside her scope and all crisis lines and even hospitals do in the end is turn you right back to your therapist so…
I had myself kind of gaslit over what was normal or not anymore since I’m basically seeing this therapist to heal from a very harmful and abusive therapist I had a very screwy boundaries were all crossed kind of relationship with. But I never found it strange that she would’ve been who I reached out to an emergency. I thought that part was pretty normal. Then again, I was doubting myself because I spent years in therapy with someone I knew had screwy ethics but kept convincing myself was a great therapist. I realize that could be a concern of my current therapist. Not wanting to cross boundaries because of how badly harmed I’ve been by that. But it felt absolutely awful and like I was being told no one cared for me at a time when I needed to hear it most. And I don’t feel like my current therapist is actually my partner in this journey or whatever. Seems like she’s just a person who sits on the opposite end of the room taking notes and witnessing me rambling my traumas out loud. So I don’t know which of us has problematic expectations here. I don’t know what normal is in therapy anymore. Or how to trust my gut when something feels off. I don’t know. I am seeing this current therapist twice a week. I’ve never done that before. So tossing that out there if that would change how you view this. Because eh maybe there’s a point to be had that if I’m needing more help than those two hours a week maybe I do need something else. But is the problem the therapist or me? Is that expecting too much from an outpatient therapist?
I agree with the person that said the crisis text line isn’t that helpful…I mean it did keep me from cutting twice but it left me feeling like I still needed more conversation before they abruptly ended the conversation. My therapist is amazing but not the type to text with clients between sessions unless it’s during business hours. Those are just her boundaries.
Thanks Kati, this was wonderful! God bless you for your work ❤ In therapy, should I only be bringing up one thing I am struggling with in each session or can I bring up multiple things? Me and my therapist talk about a range of different topics each session e.g. my trauma, anxiety and addictions etc. Is it better to only focus on one topic and work on healing in one area of my life before bring up something new? I feel like we don't spend enough time on each topic and address it properly. Thanks heaps!
Good job, very informative and learned some new pieces.
Glad to hear it!
You can use spaining toy to try to focus you on the moment
Kati Morton. I'd just like to say hello and good. Afternoon from Nikki you look much better hope you are fully Recovered now hope you have a nice morning.And good day with what ever else you are doing today ❤️
Yay!
Allison Williams. Good afternoon hello a name I always see and recognize how are you doing how are you feeling this morning or afternoon as I don't know where you are from ?
HEY KATIE! Love your videos 💚
I've been following you for a 3 weeks now! I wished I found you years ago when I got medically discharge from the military, which distoried me because thats all I've ever wanted to do, I'm also was adopted into a military family so it was my identity and still makes me angry today that i failed my family to be a soldier! I saw a college therapist years ago did 4 session and I felt a bit better and left! But I also sechuldel my first therapy session because I'm going back to this angry self loathing, empty person that I don't like or I just don't like myself! The session is in a week from now, but I might cancel because I don't feel as bad as I have been and I don't know why!? But maybe I'm making myself feel better so I wouldn't have to go to therapy?! Or is it possible that all of my problems have gone away? I'm burned out by my 2 job have been for years and its ( probably) high functioning depression, I work 55 to 65hrs a week, I'm a workaholic, I push people away, this might be because I've moved 4 times in my life's and I was adopted, I don't like intimacy, but i wished i had friends but I was bullied all my life, and was bullied at my last job, I moved to a different state a year and half ago to start over a new life (or ran away), lonely but love it at the same time, I bottle up my emotions and I love my day dreams, which I've been doing for 20 pluse years now and I feel total numb now, and 100% anti social!! Why do I feel totally fine now? I love my daydreams and maybe I like being depressed which sounds aweful, but I dont want to do anything, but stay in my room all day except work! why do I feel fine now? Is it the work or just the thought of getting better scares me because what I feel now all these things have been my normal for more than 2 decades, i don't want to change? I'm an over thinker and I'm thinking this is to long, I'm sorry! Thank you for all that you do!
These comments about childhood masturbation are grossly inaccurate. You of all people should know that its very common. It can be a way to self sooth due to stress, and have nothing to do with sex or abuse. It’s part of normal childhood sexual development, no one needs to be taught, it’s instinctual 🤦🏼♀️
Reference: American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)
Many times when I sit down to "feel my feelings", I just feel a lot of pain that lasts for hours. It's like the feelings are stuck and they don't move anywhere. After a while, I give up and distract myself. Am I doing something wrong? Is there something I'm missing in this process? :(
When you say pain, is it emotional, physical or both? For me it's emotional pain that turns into physical pain and it's a similar experience except I end up counselling myself through it or dissociating, the pain doesn't often dissipate without this. Just wondering if your experience is similar
@@nikkiellery759 I would say it's emotional pain that I feel physically as well. I try talking myself down and it's better than nothing, but it doesn't snap me out of it. I dissociate too if it lasts a long enough time. I guess it depends on the intensity. I'm sorry you experience something similar. :(
It's alright, I like to think of hsps or people with bpd as the people of the world that feel deeply for ourselves and everyone else. Not in a martyrdom way but it's a skill to feel these things and show up everyday, I like to think of it as the power of depth.
re flashback question.
A representation similar to my one flashback linked below (from west wing tv show)
czcams.com/video/E-kj4naK5zs/video.html
I describe my flashback as watching an IMAX movie of the event while strapped into a rollercoaster - full sound, colour and emotion .... I was along for the ride. A very unsettling experience. Triggered by watching an episode of 24 that had a scene that reminded me of the event.
Question 6: czcams.com/video/YCd2E5gINXY/video.html
Thank you!