We attempted to explain the differences between our feeling functions and how they show up for us on a day to day basis and in our relationship as INFJ + INFP. Thanks so much for watching :)
@@triplethreat9168 Lol. this info / comment I made is incredibly out of date... That person cheated on me six days in over social media, and then again on a girls night out 23 days into the relationship. She only admitted fault and took responsibility for the severity of the action after hours of talking. We broke up and i've never been happier to not look back.
@@dtf-productions6134 oh my , I’m sorry to hear , glad you discovered her nature early on. So you could move on and continue to maintain peace and happiness !
@aquariuslyem probably because of the deep conversations they(INFJ & INFP) talked about in the video. Also both types have a serious and silly personality within them making them fit in more ways than one.
(INFP) I can sit and listen to INFJ's think or process out loud for a long time. That "working it out loud" builds a framework inside my own mind on how to process my own thoughts; it balances out my Fi. INFP's may be in touch with their feelings more than most but for me at least and well after the conversation is done, the lasting effects help me figure things out for myself with much more efficiency.
@@FlawlesZMa We can think (logic) and recognize patterns internally. It's really more processing our own emotions out loud. We can be so aware of other's emotions and yet it takes a good amount of work to figure out our own personal feelings.
Yeah, I find it a good synergy when talking with INFJs. I can teach or explain a topic to them and keep feeding them with Ne+Te, and they will internalize my "data points" into a more succinct way of understanding my scattered thoughts and reference points into Ni+Ti, which helps me to zoom in more and understand it better myself. And then I get more ideas about how to better give them the proper understanding. It's nice because, as I said, my thinking is abstract with Ne+Te, and I use external reference a lot and don't really zoom in and try to analyse it with logic, because Extraverterd functions are more broad and take in more information, while Introverted functions will try to arrange and analyse it into a framework. So Ne+Te and Ni+Ti is a good combo for gaining a deeper understanding of something, because the other person has your "shadow" in their conscious.
I absolutely love listening to you two. I absolutely love my INFJ. He pulls everything out of me and helps me feel better about having such strong emotions. As an INFP, I’m so in love with being loved by an INFJ. The reciprocity is unmatched by any relationship I’ve experienced or seen.
As someone passionate about photography/cinematography as well, I really appreciate the good lighting, composition, and the out of focus foreground element you have in this video. Most other MBTI videos online are very low quality. This makes it easy for you guys to stand out!
“I love me some introverted feelings, man. They’re just like.... so cute!” I’m an INFJ female and I’ve legit recently said this about my male INFP partner. So true and almost uncanny how spot on that resonates right out of the gate on this video!!
My infj partner is constantly saying the same about me, that I am sooooooo cute and then he is so overjoying while saying it that I think "u r the one who is so cute here!"
The depth of your interactions and reactions has me floored. At times it was like watching a scene from an award winning art house romantic movie, with all the subtle emotions constantly flowing. And then I remembered that you are actual real people and felt... almost guilty that I can see you in such depth. Words can not express how awesome this INFP thinks you both are.
I'm an infj with an enfp partner. A lot of what you talked about in your friendship is true of us (though we're more than twice your age.) We were definitely friends first. The relationship is super special and like no other for sure! :)
I guess Rumi and Shaams tabrezi were INFP and INFJ as well (I've studied a lot about them). Your Love isn't materialistic but spiritual as well, don't let this world destroy your inner peace and deep spiritual love. Greetings from fellow INFP 😀.
Rumi was an enlightened, liberated Being, not a personality/ego! :) You/I/we aren't essentially, innately our personality. The implications of the word personality, persona should make that pretty clear. It is conditioned, it is the form, the comings and goings, not the Self. Rumi was a true master.
Oh my gosh you did an amazing job explaining the functions. I had never put it together that as an Fi user I need time to process my thoughts when someone asks me a question. I dated an ENFJ very briefly and he was very pushy if I didn't know how to answer him right away, and then he would read my face and see how I felt before I could even say how I felt, which was very frustrating. Also you hit the nail on the head how Fi user can feel defensive because we hear the statement and we accept it as fact or truth. Like if I am dating someone and they say, "I could not date someone who was X." Right away I am already deciding I guess this is not going to work out and they are not going to like me. It is a rough thing to feel. I had no idea Fe users are probably just processing how he felt out loud and was not actually tied to that idea.
You guys are adorable! :) I'm an INFP and can totally relate with Brooks! My closest friends are INFJs and our conversations end up helping each other, giving us insights into ourselves. I have experienced maximum personal growth just in my interactions with INFJs. Much love
I am hooked! I am also in a relationship with an infj. I am an infp. And I can really feel the fi fe diffrence. Its also one of the reasons we argue most. Because we just opperate different. For instance: fe users try to control the vibe of the room/make someone feel good again. I like it when she does it for others... but when she does it to me... I can get rather anoyed Because I already know, what to do, to feel better and its my choice to proces it a bit more before letting go of a certain emotion.. I am really curious what you guys think about this and how I should act. Or maybe you have a tip!.. (I might sound negative hehe... but I really love my INFJ gf.) You guys have amazing vids btw.
I can relate to this. I'm not sure you can deliberately do something different, you need to really dwell in certain emotions to function fully. Perhaps you could tell her what you've written her and then reassure her that she doesn't have to worry and that if things get really bad (i.e. stuck in certain emotional Fi-Si loops for several days, or even weeks) you will talk about it with her and share. Helps if she understands MBTI too.
@@yayotwo she knows only the basics. But yes. I told her that I need some alone time sometimes and that I will tell my emotions eventualy when the time comes. This doesnt mean that I am angry/I dont want to share with you. I just need some time. Etc. She understands. Hehe.
I dated an INFJ for 6 years and for me I felt like he took longer to process difficult emotions than I did. Like if something bad happen he would think about it for weeks or even months. I did not realize that I (as an INFP) actually tend to avoid processing difficult emotions by choosing not to think about it, and then it hits me a year later where I finally process it. So that was the difference for us. He the INFJ would process it right away whereas for me it was always delayed. So it looked like he took longer processing and it was always out loud whereas for me it was more internal. I had to learn the benefit of talking out loud my emotions. I am curious what you mean when you say how she made you feel. Did you feel like she was controlling you? I know as an INFP I don't feel good if someone is telling me what to do or how to feel. I think I am very stubborn. And yes I can be very defensive. Lol! But I don't feel like I am being defensive I am only stating how I feel.
@@XavierGuillaume not necesary control me. But she just wants me to feel better. Because she can see that I am dealing with something. I mean.. yes I deal with something. But I dont like it when my emotion is affecting someone else. Because its internal... emotions come and go. Sometimes I dont know what a certain emotions is that I am feeling. So I need space and time to figure it out. As a fellow INFP u might relate. This is also when I am most inspired. I can create art. When someone keeps asking me whats wrong. I feel more worried aboyt that person.. so I cant focus on the feeling/emotion that I am dealing with/try to figure out. She feels guilty and starts questioning if its her fault. If she did something wrong. When I say: no u didnt. Its just something personal. She sometimes doesnt believe it. Starts assuming things. Haha. I think its funny hehe. She just cares alot. I appreciatie it. And in the end I still tell her how I am feeling. Because its what we need to have a healthy relationship I think. Idk if I answered your question. Oopsss. Also do u have instagram. Would like to talk more. Hehe.
Hey, so if you (or anyone who stumbles upon this) wants a tip for dealing with that dynamic, I have a few: 1. Understand that Fe will torture its user if there’s tension they can’t resolve or avoid. So, when an INFP shares a relationship and a space with an INFJ, the INFP has to be cognizant of how their disposition impacts their INFJ. Make a habit of tuning into how they are reacting to your emotions, to start with. 2. INFPs, you should have your processes down well enough that you can approximate the time and steps of your own emotional maintenace. If not, become aware of those things and communicate it to your INFJ, ALWAYS. You don’t have to explain your feelings right away, but you can always tell your INFJ that you a) Have stuff you need to process. b) What the catalyst of this maintenace period is, in general. c) What you intend to do to process it. d) When you’ll be done processing it, for now. Even if you don’t know how long it will take, estimate and make sure you check in with them at that time, even if it’s just to update them on needing more time. So an example of it all together is “(a) Hey my INFJ darling, after dinner, I’m going to need some time to decompress. (b) It’s nothing serious, just stuff from work today that I didn’t have time to think about earlier and I don’t want it distracting me later. (c) I just want to listen to music in the bedroom and zone out for a while. (d) I’ll be back out in time to watch the show we always watch at 9:00.” 3. INFJs see patterns in people like nobody else. Their world is patterns. INFPs have a uniquely frustrating inclination to conceal their Fi to *near* invisibility while visibly thinking as they explore with Ne...all very quietly. So to an INFJ who loves them and wants to understand the INFP’s “pattern” to better anticipate them for the sake of harmony...all they get from the INFP is “I’m fine” while the INFP makes that trademark face of contemplation that looks like they’re losing a war with their own brain. So INFP, give them a better pattern to work with. You don’t have to betray your every emotion as you have them, just try to create some apparent cues that are consistent enough to follow. When you are distraught but *actually* not at all because of your INFJ, then try something like: turning deliberately to face them, making eye contact, smile (don’t ham it up, just whatever amount of smile you feel is sincere), and then tell them something specific and affectionate like “I love you, thank you for putting up with me when I get like this.” By combining several things and being consistent with using them under the same circumstances, your INFJ will have a pattern to work with. It almost certainly won’t help you the first time you do anything like this, but it will set you up better each subsequent time. Here’s the best part, INFJs are so damn good at keying in on the patterns of their loved ones, that this deliberate pantomime will allow them to pick up on the meta-pattern of when/why you do this ritual. Meaning that your INFJ will pick up on days like this as soon as they see you and will probably pick up on something you do when you are thinking about starting to turn to face them for that whole spiel. 4. INFPs, your INFJ is going to try to cheer you up whether or not you believe that they can. An INFJ can absolutely learn to accept that their person needs less from them than other people and they can absolutely learn to accept that they have “done enough” to make their person feel better even before they see that person’s disposition improve-sort of like talking a job-well-done on credit. But your INFJ might not be able to feel okay with themselves if they don’t contribute to their person’s happiness at all. INFPs, invite your INFJ to participate in your emotional recoveries. Be specific in the way they can help you in a given situation even if you know you are doing the real work internally. Use your Fi to relate to them the deeper symbolic meaning of certain things that help comfort you and probably tie that into your Si sentimentality. For example: If you tend to process your harshest emotions by reading and writing poetry by yourself, then the next time you need to do that, invest some time explaining that process to your INFJ. Explain how you started doing that, and tie it into a childhood memory if it at all applies. Explain why writing poetry helps by detailing the emotional release it provides. Explain who your favorite poets are and why; be sure to mention if there’s anything they’ve written that you wish you had copies of. Explain why the paper you use is or isn’t important, explain why it feels wrong unless you have a certain type of pen. What are the things that could be added to this process that would increase your comfort? You don’t have to pretend that drinking your favorite drink will help you solve your problems faster, but if it facilitates your comfort then it facilitates your ability to heal. Use the gifts that INFPs naturally have to express the depth of meaning and vivid emotional coloring of your healthy coping mechanisms...so that your INFJ can use their gifts of practically improving world through a compassionate intuitive process. The next time you need to hibernate with your example poetry, your INFJ will probably have found a book of poetry you don’t have, bought your favorite pens, and left both of them with a note about how much they care in the place where you go to be by yourself. Go make yourself feel better, then *thank* your INFJ for helping you. Emphasize how the small things are more impactful than they seem (because I know you think they are). In this way, you will probably notice the most immediate and consistent easing of tension created by the differences in how these types process their emotions. Ultimately, there’s nothing either partner can do individually in an INFJ/INFP relationship that will compensate for both partners not resolving to understand each other completely. It’s like both desperately want to be understood and speak the same language...except some of the most important words have been switched around. So communication seems effortless at first, only to hit bizarre roadblocks that don’t make sense to either. These are two types that want each other badly but can become prematurely discouraged because the things they are best at without effort when interacting with any other types, is suddenly a skill set that can be rendered useless in this pairing. An INFJ might lose self-esteem when they find they can’t alleviate tension of a type they can’t predict. An INFP might lose hope when the person they had the most in common with was the type that had no pieces in common with them. Be good to each other. It’s truly worth the work it deserves.
Hey, you, extraverted feeler!! 😉 To get manipulated less and anyways... focus on your introverted thinking (feed the analytical part of your brain with knowledge on bad/difficult/unhealthy people). Together with your intuition it's going to be very reliable and you'll know how to keep yourself safe. Even others but Infjs often forget to start with themselves. Hihi. But yeah, most of all I wanted to get across that Infjs are thinkers more than they are feelers so thinking is a strength and it makes us more assertive and get to where we deserve to be surprisingly fast. Take care! And thanks for being so warm and open. The insight you provided is definitely going to be helpful for me and my favourite Infp. ❤️
Ok that was helpful. Especially the dynamic where he will stuff something that may be bothering him about the relationship. But actually he is emotionally wrestling with it, crossreferencing it with his unique set of values. Then when he has finished going through that process, which is one that is very difficult for an infj to grasp, then he brings up what was bothering him in the first place. This then may catch the infj off guard just to hear something they missed, which INFJs are naturally hard on themselves for missing things or being imperceptive, because usually they are very perceptive. And of course they are hearing it from the person they care about most and spend the most time with. So yeah, it can kind of shock the infj into a defensive, and what may be interpreted as a somewhat frightening offensive, interrogation of the infp. But the infj is really just talking it out, questioning it to get to the bottom of it, reduce it down to something that the infj can work with to try to address it properly and transcend it. This I think is a process that the infp may not relate to. It is important to be aware that when the infj is doing this out loud questioning they are not accusations, and they aren't so much interrogating their partner but interrogating the situation in real time, but they're also freaked out because they're so used to having this magic vision to read people which has suddenly failed them. Infjs, when they find someone they are compatible with tend to get very comfortable with them, they open up and free associate, and let their guard down, and yes take off the masks, so it's only natural that they might miss something, so dont be so hard on yourself when it happens. Infjs always seek to get to the heart of the matter. Infps are always checking with their heart to see why something matters to them. Sorry for journaling in your comment section. lol. Thank you!
That helped me. I will use this next time I feel offended when my fiance is asking me questions about why I have a problem with him. I can understand he is reacting this way then and be more patient. It always hurts me to a point I am afraid of telling him what bothers me. But he also says he always wants to know. Now I understand. Thank you.
I talk out my feelings. It can come off badly if people don't understand you. I sometimes have to preface that, so I don't offend people. What I'm saying isn't always the end point, sometimes it's the beginning of me trying to get to how I truly feel. I'd love to find a partner who I felt accepted and understood me.
Fe is called the auxiliary function but I (INFJ) feel like it's actually a curse. Always being concerned with others emotions, who's gonna aks me about my own? My boyfriend is INFP as well and often times I feel like: He's concerned about his own emotions, I am concerned with his emotions as well due to my Fe, so if you do the math, there are two people caring about his and none taking care of mine.
If INFPs fall in love, they will love their partner and care their partner feeling as much as they love and care theirselves. But as FI dom, their feeling often hide from themselves and of course from everyone. I know, it's really difficult having FE. You need FI to help you more care with your feeling. Just say about this to him, say everything you want him to know, about your feeling, your thinking. I believe he will try to more open his feeling to you and will help you balance your FE with his FI. I wish you and him all the best 💜 in relationship, communication must be maintained properly
Thats is... I always get the impression that I'm being a bit "selfish" and my infj friend is constantly looking out for my emotional needs and it pains me to realize that I'm not paying enough attention to his emotional needs either, so I always try to think about that and give what he deserves, but never feels like it's enough, I feel he deserves more
If INFPs fall in love it's like "loving you has become a part of who I am" they feel all of your pains, your struggle as their own, and also your happiness as well.
Great videos on your relationship and the functions! These are helpful for friendships too. I’m an INFP with some of my closest friends being INFJ and other fellow INFPs. The inner process on feelings for me with Fi is right on. I frequently look back on what I said/felt and have had the same experience of realizing that I felt too pressured to process and to reach what felt true for me in the moment. I also take longer to find the best words. I have told friends or other people later, after I had time to process my feelings, what I couldn’t get at in that moment we were together. Which brings me to trying to articulate my love for my family and friends; I’m still trying to figure out how to articulate, adequately, the deep love I feel for them, but am still having difficulty doing so. It’s helpful to know how Fe processes, so I can be more understanding of my friends and how we process differently. It can be both energizing and challenging. Some of my best conversations come with other INFPs and INFJs. ❤️
A lot of people get this wrong about Fi/Fe. Fe is actually the one who can feel the depth of the emotions, that's why we mirror people, and it's hard not too, because we can see what others are feeling clear as day. Fi on the other hand don't. They often are romantics in the traditional sense, flowers, poetry, but not so much knowing their partner deeply. They can feel their own suffering, and they end up constructing value systems on the traits that has made them feel good in the past, like kindness. They prioritize people who share these values and judge those that don't. But a lot of this is a misunderstanding. Simply, Fi is I am happy/sad (or insert whatever word you want here), and systematically tries to keep themself safe socially. Fe's feel pain, in oneself, and everyone else, and that is why they end up empathizing and knowing people deeply. An Fi is sort of trapped in a box in a way because they don't have Fe. So they end up grieving their own reality, alone instead of understanding everyone else around them is also experiencing this. This is why Fe's are a lot chipper. They don't feel alone. They see suffering all around. Fi's are often plagued with stuckness and depression for the very fact that they can't see other's emotions or sometimes even understand their own (hence all the time they need). But ultimately they kind of just move towards what feels good, and avoid what feels bad and call it a value. Fe's do the opposite, they move towards the bad, out of that empathy. So yes, they often get in unfulfilling relationships with Fi's who can't understand them back. And it's pretty draining and unhealthy to not be equally supported. I am an INFJ in a relationship with an INFP, and it has taken a lot to understand this and work through our issues. For those who just want the short meaning of the functions, I would look at it like Fi's feel deeply internally, Fe's feel deeply for others. Hence the initial magnetism.
Aww, a new video about you guys. ^^ Love the dynamic, speaking as an INFJ :) Thank you and please keep uploading such fascinating and interesting, but most importantly, romantic and sweet videos.
A pattern that i noticed between INFJ, ENFP, and INFP, is the INFJ and ENFP are shadow types. This means what is conscious to the INFJ is unconscious to the ENFP. Where for the INFP, like myself, can relate is I relate to both the INFJ and ENFP terms of creativity and possibilities; I can hold on to both and the same time. And it hard for me to understand the INFJ’s logical and orderly thinking process. With all that said, the INFP is a rearranged version of the ENFP.
I can relate strongly to the need to ask questions to be able to understand what the person is feeling...I ask not for myself but to help find a solution to their problem...INFJ the counselor 😁 I believe that other Personality types are more empathic than we are...we are Empaths not emphatic there's a big difference between those two 🤔 I care...kind of...but I only get involved if the persons state of mind affects my life...I don't have the need to make every person happy 😬 I mean...I'm not an ENFJ 😁
Well said! My main function is introverted feeling (Fi). And i think it is true. Sometimes i can't tell someone is sad but when i do, i can feel them deeply but not in the picture of them, like you said "cross-reference" so true! 😂. But with that, our logical thinking (Ti) sucks 😂. Thank god we have you guys INFJ/ENFJ.
Have to talk about your emotions, can't keep them inside. Especially if you're unaware of your emotions by being either in negative emotions or positive emotions.
as an infj i really enjoyed this video. more brain food rlly. I was wondering, what are yall zodiac signs? my guess is Virgo & Taurus hahah sorry i just got curious bc ive been rlly into astrology along with mbti lately :)
I’m so conflicted with trying to figure out why I feel like I am 60/40 infj/infp because I do both depending on the situation and also feel maybe I changed from infp to infj from traumatic experiences in my life I’m ready to go see a damn therapist it’s bothering me that much i have so many thoughts about all of this fml
Sadly no, we r emotionally manipulated very easily though we process through when we r alone and look through and find out that what was said is not correct. But in the first place it's very painful and hard because infps r asking themselves Constantly if it is true what other people think on the behalf of the infp. Out of my own experience I can say I was emotional manipulated and it was the worst feeling I ever had. I sometimes am very confused if I am infj too because I do a lot of things infjs describe. I can't agree on the recognizing if someone else is feeling bad instantly, I do know. I just don't get hooked on their emotions so fast, but I know instantly too. And I ask people if they r alright but I also know that people r drawn to me in a very weird way to tell me automatically if something is off. My infj partner is talking too less about himself, I know he is over thinking all the time, he is stressed very easily and even has insomnia. But when he tells me something he more talks about others instead of himself, what he is thinking about, what is going inside of him. And I don't know how to make him talk about himself a bit more... I wanna know about him, not others so much. When I ask him directly he mostly says "I don't think something special" an answer I know well as a mechanism because I say it when I assume people r not interested in what I say anyway or might not understand or feel overwhelmed. But I get him, I wanna listen him out and understand him. I don't know how to reassure him he can tell me all and I will never judge him in a way bad because of it.
I was talking to an INTJ for almost 2 years but yeah that's the main problem we have he is fi user and i am fe user because i am INFJ too. I am jealous too why he seems to always know what he feel while me i was having a hard time what i am feeling and it end up being in chaos because he push me harder because he get mad at me thinking i am a phony but tbh i was really confused too myself because i don't see anything wrong with me i was just trying to fix the situation with what is right not who is right. 😒
Do you know your shadow functions, btw, @A.J. Azure? (Ne nemesis (worry of perspectives), Fi critic (self-worth), Te trickster (unawareness of thoughts of others), and Si ("demon": bad memory).)
I've listened to c.s. joseph talk about the shadow functions and I definitely relate to what he describes. Wish I knew more about them and how they show up for me
Just started dating a female INFJ as a male INFP... NEVER BEEN HAPPIER IN MY LIFE ☺️😊🥺 ✨MAGICAL✨
Can you share a few reasons why? I am an INFP partner INFJ 🥰. Interested in relating
@@triplethreat9168 Lol. this info / comment I made is incredibly out of date...
That person cheated on me six days in over social media, and then again on a girls night out 23 days into the relationship. She only admitted fault and took responsibility for the severity of the action after hours of talking.
We broke up and i've never been happier to not look back.
@@dtf-productions6134 oh my , I’m sorry to hear , glad you discovered her nature early on. So you could move on and continue to maintain peace and happiness !
@@triplethreat9168 absolutely yes! My life is so much better off! ☺️
I’m dating a infj and it’s magical my infp self feels super understood😭✨
Aquariuslyem because INFP's and INFJ's make deep spiritual connection. Greetings to both of you.
@@haythamkenway9894 this comment very true , thank you
@aquariuslyem probably because of the deep conversations they(INFJ & INFP) talked about in the video. Also both types have a serious and silly personality within them making them fit in more ways than one.
I'm dating an INFP and it is so easy going about 90% of the time and we work well at wading through the other 10%. 😊
Didn't expect to find you here... Love your content ❤️
(INFP) I can sit and listen to INFJ's think or process out loud for a long time. That "working it out loud" builds a framework inside my own mind on how to process my own thoughts; it balances out my Fi. INFP's may be in touch with their feelings more than most but for me at least and well after the conversation is done, the lasting effects help me figure things out for myself with much more efficiency.
Thank you, @Papa Romeo INFJ here :)
Appreciate that very much, too rare probabably, perhaps that's why I appreciate it so much
thinking things out by talking as you go is this a INFJ trait?
@@FlawlesZMa We can think (logic) and recognize patterns internally. It's really more processing our own emotions out loud. We can be so aware of other's emotions and yet it takes a good amount of work to figure out our own personal feelings.
Yeah, I find it a good synergy when talking with INFJs. I can teach or explain a topic to them and keep feeding them with Ne+Te, and they will internalize my "data points" into a more succinct way of understanding my scattered thoughts and reference points into Ni+Ti, which helps me to zoom in more and understand it better myself. And then I get more ideas about how to better give them the proper understanding.
It's nice because, as I said, my thinking is abstract with Ne+Te, and I use external reference a lot and don't really zoom in and try to analyse it with logic, because Extraverterd functions are more broad and take in more information, while Introverted functions will try to arrange and analyse it into a framework. So Ne+Te and Ni+Ti is a good combo for gaining a deeper understanding of something, because the other person has your "shadow" in their conscious.
I absolutely love listening to you two. I absolutely love my INFJ. He pulls everything out of me and helps me feel better about having such strong emotions. As an INFP, I’m so in love with being loved by an INFJ. The reciprocity is unmatched by any relationship I’ve experienced or seen.
As someone passionate about photography/cinematography as well, I really appreciate the good lighting, composition, and the out of focus foreground element you have in this video. Most other MBTI videos online are very low quality. This makes it easy for you guys to stand out!
Thanks so much!!
“I love me some introverted feelings, man. They’re just like.... so cute!” I’m an INFJ female and I’ve legit recently said this about my male INFP partner. So true and almost uncanny how spot on that resonates right out of the gate on this video!!
My infj partner is constantly saying the same about me, that I am sooooooo cute and then he is so overjoying while saying it that I think "u r the one who is so cute here!"
The depth of your interactions and reactions has me floored.
At times it was like watching a scene from an award winning art house romantic movie, with all the subtle emotions constantly flowing. And then I remembered that you are actual real people and felt... almost guilty that I can see you in such depth.
Words can not express how awesome this INFP thinks you both are.
Wow, I love that. Thank you. Means a lot to know the real us can be heard and seen in that way.
Such an infp comment I love it
-me, and infp
As an infj with a close infp friend, it definitely rings bells. I would never have thought I would be the bouncy/talkative one in the situation.
I'm an infj with an enfp partner. A lot of what you talked about in your friendship is true of us (though we're more than twice your age.) We were definitely friends first. The relationship is super special and like no other for sure! :)
Love, love, love this video!
Your interaction is wholesome, honest, bare, real, and sane.
I guess Rumi and Shaams tabrezi were INFP and INFJ as well (I've studied a lot about them). Your Love isn't materialistic but spiritual as well, don't let this world destroy your inner peace and deep spiritual love. Greetings from fellow INFP 😀.
Thank you 😊
Rumi was an enlightened, liberated Being, not a personality/ego! :) You/I/we aren't essentially, innately our personality. The implications of the word personality, persona should make that pretty clear. It is conditioned, it is the form, the comings and goings, not the Self.
Rumi was a true master.
Oh my gosh you did an amazing job explaining the functions. I had never put it together that as an Fi user I need time to process my thoughts when someone asks me a question. I dated an ENFJ very briefly and he was very pushy if I didn't know how to answer him right away, and then he would read my face and see how I felt before I could even say how I felt, which was very frustrating. Also you hit the nail on the head how Fi user can feel defensive because we hear the statement and we accept it as fact or truth. Like if I am dating someone and they say, "I could not date someone who was X." Right away I am already deciding I guess this is not going to work out and they are not going to like me. It is a rough thing to feel. I had no idea Fe users are probably just processing how he felt out loud and was not actually tied to that idea.
You guys are adorable! :) I'm an INFP and can totally relate with Brooks! My closest friends are INFJs and our conversations end up helping each other, giving us insights into ourselves. I have experienced maximum personal growth just in my interactions with INFJs. Much love
I am hooked! I am also in a relationship with an infj. I am an infp. And I can really feel the fi fe diffrence. Its also one of the reasons we argue most. Because we just opperate different. For instance: fe users try to control the vibe of the room/make someone feel good again. I like it when she does it for others... but when she does it to me... I can get rather anoyed Because I already know, what to do, to feel better and its my choice to proces it a bit more before letting go of a certain emotion.. I am really curious what you guys think about this and how I should act. Or maybe you have a tip!..
(I might sound negative hehe... but I really love my INFJ gf.)
You guys have amazing vids btw.
I can relate to this. I'm not sure you can deliberately do something different, you need to really dwell in certain emotions to function fully. Perhaps you could tell her what you've written her and then reassure her that she doesn't have to worry and that if things get really bad (i.e. stuck in certain emotional Fi-Si loops for several days, or even weeks) you will talk about it with her and share. Helps if she understands MBTI too.
@@yayotwo she knows only the basics. But yes. I told her that I need some alone time sometimes and that I will tell my emotions eventualy when the time comes. This doesnt mean that I am angry/I dont want to share with you. I just need some time. Etc. She understands. Hehe.
I dated an INFJ for 6 years and for me I felt like he took longer to process difficult emotions than I did. Like if something bad happen he would think about it for weeks or even months. I did not realize that I (as an INFP) actually tend to avoid processing difficult emotions by choosing not to think about it, and then it hits me a year later where I finally process it. So that was the difference for us. He the INFJ would process it right away whereas for me it was always delayed. So it looked like he took longer processing and it was always out loud whereas for me it was more internal. I had to learn the benefit of talking out loud my emotions.
I am curious what you mean when you say how she made you feel. Did you feel like she was controlling you? I know as an INFP I don't feel good if someone is telling me what to do or how to feel. I think I am very stubborn. And yes I can be very defensive. Lol! But I don't feel like I am being defensive I am only stating how I feel.
@@XavierGuillaume not necesary control me. But she just wants me to feel better. Because she can see that I am dealing with something. I mean.. yes I deal with something. But I dont like it when my emotion is affecting someone else. Because its internal... emotions come and go. Sometimes I dont know what a certain emotions is that I am feeling. So I need space and time to figure it out. As a fellow INFP u might relate. This is also when I am most inspired. I can create art.
When someone keeps asking me whats wrong. I feel more worried aboyt that person.. so I cant focus on the feeling/emotion that I am dealing with/try to figure out.
She feels guilty and starts questioning if its her fault. If she did something wrong. When I say: no u didnt. Its just something personal.
She sometimes doesnt believe it. Starts assuming things.
Haha. I think its funny hehe.
She just cares alot. I appreciatie it. And in the end I still tell her how I am feeling. Because its what we need to have a healthy relationship I think.
Idk if I answered your question. Oopsss.
Also do u have instagram. Would like to talk more. Hehe.
Hey, so if you (or anyone who stumbles upon this) wants a tip for dealing with that dynamic, I have a few:
1. Understand that Fe will torture its user if there’s tension they can’t resolve or avoid. So, when an INFP shares a relationship and a space with an INFJ, the INFP has to be cognizant of how their disposition impacts their INFJ. Make a habit of tuning into how they are reacting to your emotions, to start with.
2. INFPs, you should have your processes down well enough that you can approximate the time and steps of your own emotional maintenace. If not, become aware of those things and communicate it to your INFJ, ALWAYS. You don’t have to explain your feelings right away, but you can always tell your INFJ that you a) Have stuff you need to process. b) What the catalyst of this maintenace period is, in general. c) What you intend to do to process it. d) When you’ll be done processing it, for now. Even if you don’t know how long it will take, estimate and make sure you check in with them at that time, even if it’s just to update them on needing more time. So an example of it all together is
“(a) Hey my INFJ darling, after dinner, I’m going to need some time to decompress. (b) It’s nothing serious, just stuff from work today that I didn’t have time to think about earlier and I don’t want it distracting me later. (c) I just want to listen to music in the bedroom and zone out for a while. (d) I’ll be back out in time to watch the show we always watch at 9:00.”
3. INFJs see patterns in people like nobody else. Their world is patterns. INFPs have a uniquely frustrating inclination to conceal their Fi to *near* invisibility while visibly thinking as they explore with Ne...all very quietly. So to an INFJ who loves them and wants to understand the INFP’s “pattern” to better anticipate them for the sake of harmony...all they get from the INFP is “I’m fine” while the INFP makes that trademark face of contemplation that looks like they’re losing a war with their own brain. So INFP, give them a better pattern to work with. You don’t have to betray your every emotion as you have them, just try to create some apparent cues that are consistent enough to follow. When you are distraught but *actually* not at all because of your INFJ, then try something like: turning deliberately to face them, making eye contact, smile (don’t ham it up, just whatever amount of smile you feel is sincere), and then tell them something specific and affectionate like “I love you, thank you for putting up with me when I get like this.” By combining several things and being consistent with using them under the same circumstances, your INFJ will have a pattern to work with. It almost certainly won’t help you the first time you do anything like this, but it will set you up better each subsequent time. Here’s the best part, INFJs are so damn good at keying in on the patterns of their loved ones, that this deliberate pantomime will allow them to pick up on the meta-pattern of when/why you do this ritual. Meaning that your INFJ will pick up on days like this as soon as they see you and will probably pick up on something you do when you are thinking about starting to turn to face them for that whole spiel.
4. INFPs, your INFJ is going to try to cheer you up whether or not you believe that they can. An INFJ can absolutely learn to accept that their person needs less from them than other people and they can absolutely learn to accept that they have “done enough” to make their person feel better even before they see that person’s disposition improve-sort of like talking a job-well-done on credit. But your INFJ might not be able to feel okay with themselves if they don’t contribute to their person’s happiness at all. INFPs, invite your INFJ to participate in your emotional recoveries. Be specific in the way they can help you in a given situation even if you know you are doing the real work internally. Use your Fi to relate to them the deeper symbolic meaning of certain things that help comfort you and probably tie that into your Si sentimentality.
For example: If you tend to process your harshest emotions by reading and writing poetry by yourself, then the next time you need to do that, invest some time explaining that process to your INFJ. Explain how you started doing that, and tie it into a childhood memory if it at all applies. Explain why writing poetry helps by detailing the emotional release it provides. Explain who your favorite poets are and why; be sure to mention if there’s anything they’ve written that you wish you had copies of. Explain why the paper you use is or isn’t important, explain why it feels wrong unless you have a certain type of pen. What are the things that could be added to this process that would increase your comfort? You don’t have to pretend that drinking your favorite drink will help you solve your problems faster, but if it facilitates your comfort then it facilitates your ability to heal. Use the gifts that INFPs naturally have to express the depth of meaning and vivid emotional coloring of your healthy coping mechanisms...so that your INFJ can use their gifts of practically improving world through a compassionate intuitive process. The next time you need to hibernate with your example poetry, your INFJ will probably have found a book of poetry you don’t have, bought your favorite pens, and left both of them with a note about how much they care in the place where you go to be by yourself. Go make yourself feel better, then *thank* your INFJ for helping you. Emphasize how the small things are more impactful than they seem (because I know you think they are). In this way, you will probably notice the most immediate and consistent easing of tension created by the differences in how these types process their emotions.
Ultimately, there’s nothing either partner can do individually in an INFJ/INFP relationship that will compensate for both partners not resolving to understand each other completely. It’s like both desperately want to be understood and speak the same language...except some of the most important words have been switched around. So communication seems effortless at first, only to hit bizarre roadblocks that don’t make sense to either. These are two types that want each other badly but can become prematurely discouraged because the things they are best at without effort when interacting with any other types, is suddenly a skill set that can be rendered useless in this pairing. An INFJ might lose self-esteem when they find they can’t alleviate tension of a type they can’t predict. An INFP might lose hope when the person they had the most in common with was the type that had no pieces in common with them. Be good to each other. It’s truly worth the work it deserves.
As an infp i can tell aside for something awful he will love you for life
Hey, you, extraverted feeler!! 😉 To get manipulated less and anyways... focus on your introverted thinking (feed the analytical part of your brain with knowledge on bad/difficult/unhealthy people). Together with your intuition it's going to be very reliable and you'll know how to keep yourself safe. Even others but Infjs often forget to start with themselves. Hihi. But yeah, most of all I wanted to get across that Infjs are thinkers more than they are feelers so thinking is a strength and it makes us more assertive and get to where we deserve to be surprisingly fast. Take care! And thanks for being so warm and open. The insight you provided is definitely going to be helpful for me and my favourite Infp. ❤️
Ok that was helpful. Especially the dynamic where he will stuff something that may be bothering him about the relationship. But actually he is emotionally wrestling with it, crossreferencing it with his unique set of values. Then when he has finished going through that process, which is one that is very difficult for an infj to grasp, then he brings up what was bothering him in the first place. This then may catch the infj off guard just to hear something they missed, which INFJs are naturally hard on themselves for missing things or being imperceptive, because usually they are very perceptive. And of course they are hearing it from the person they care about most and spend the most time with. So yeah, it can kind of shock the infj into a defensive, and what may be interpreted as a somewhat frightening offensive, interrogation of the infp. But the infj is really just talking it out, questioning it to get to the bottom of it, reduce it down to something that the infj can work with to try to address it properly and transcend it. This I think is a process that the infp may not relate to. It is important to be aware that when the infj is doing this out loud questioning they are not accusations, and they aren't so much interrogating their partner but interrogating the situation in real time, but they're also freaked out because they're so used to having this magic vision to read people which has suddenly failed them. Infjs, when they find someone they are compatible with tend to get very comfortable with them, they open up and free associate, and let their guard down, and yes take off the masks, so it's only natural that they might miss something, so dont be so hard on yourself when it happens. Infjs always seek to get to the heart of the matter. Infps are always checking with their heart to see why something matters to them. Sorry for journaling in your comment section. lol. Thank you!
That helped me. I will use this next time I feel offended when my fiance is asking me questions about why I have a problem with him. I can understand he is reacting this way then and be more patient. It always hurts me to a point I am afraid of telling him what bothers me. But he also says he always wants to know. Now I understand. Thank you.
I talk out my feelings. It can come off badly if people don't understand you. I sometimes have to preface that, so I don't offend people. What I'm saying isn't always the end point, sometimes it's the beginning of me trying to get to how I truly feel. I'd love to find a partner who I felt accepted and understood me.
Fe is called the auxiliary function but I (INFJ) feel like it's actually a curse. Always being concerned with others emotions, who's gonna aks me about my own? My boyfriend is INFP as well and often times I feel like: He's concerned about his own emotions, I am concerned with his emotions as well due to my Fe, so if you do the math, there are two people caring about his and none taking care of mine.
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If INFPs fall in love, they will love their partner and care their partner feeling as much as they love and care theirselves. But as FI dom, their feeling often hide from themselves and of course from everyone. I know, it's really difficult having FE. You need FI to help you more care with your feeling. Just say about this to him, say everything you want him to know, about your feeling, your thinking. I believe he will try to more open his feeling to you and will help you balance your FE with his FI. I wish you and him all the best 💜 in relationship, communication must be maintained properly
Btw, I'm INFP~ so I really know how infp's feeling when they're falling in love
Thats is... I always get the impression that I'm being a bit "selfish" and my infj friend is constantly looking out for my emotional needs and it pains me to realize that I'm not paying enough attention to his emotional needs either, so I always try to think about that and give what he deserves, but never feels like it's enough, I feel he deserves more
If INFPs fall in love it's like "loving you has become a part of who I am" they feel all of your pains, your struggle as their own, and also your happiness as well.
Great videos on your relationship and the functions! These are helpful for friendships too. I’m an INFP with some of my closest friends being INFJ and other fellow INFPs. The inner process on feelings for me with Fi is right on. I frequently look back on what I said/felt and have had the same experience of realizing that I felt too pressured to process and to reach what felt true for me in the moment. I also take longer to find the best words. I have told friends or other people later, after I had time to process my feelings, what I couldn’t get at in that moment we were together. Which brings me to trying to articulate my love for my family and friends; I’m still trying to figure out how to articulate, adequately, the deep love I feel for them, but am still having difficulty doing so. It’s helpful to know how Fe processes, so I can be more understanding of my friends and how we process differently. It can be both energizing and challenging. Some of my best conversations come with other INFPs and INFJs. ❤️
A lot of people get this wrong about Fi/Fe. Fe is actually the one who can feel the depth of the emotions, that's why we mirror people, and it's hard not too, because we can see what others are feeling clear as day. Fi on the other hand don't. They often are romantics in the traditional sense, flowers, poetry, but not so much knowing their partner deeply. They can feel their own suffering, and they end up constructing value systems on the traits that has made them feel good in the past, like kindness. They prioritize people who share these values and judge those that don't. But a lot of this is a misunderstanding. Simply, Fi is I am happy/sad (or insert whatever word you want here), and systematically tries to keep themself safe socially. Fe's feel pain, in oneself, and everyone else, and that is why they end up empathizing and knowing people deeply. An Fi is sort of trapped in a box in a way because they don't have Fe. So they end up grieving their own reality, alone instead of understanding everyone else around them is also experiencing this. This is why Fe's are a lot chipper. They don't feel alone. They see suffering all around. Fi's are often plagued with stuckness and depression for the very fact that they can't see other's emotions or sometimes even understand their own (hence all the time they need). But ultimately they kind of just move towards what feels good, and avoid what feels bad and call it a value. Fe's do the opposite, they move towards the bad, out of that empathy. So yes, they often get in unfulfilling relationships with Fi's who can't understand them back. And it's pretty draining and unhealthy to not be equally supported. I am an INFJ in a relationship with an INFP, and it has taken a lot to understand this and work through our issues. For those who just want the short meaning of the functions, I would look at it like Fi's feel deeply internally, Fe's feel deeply for others. Hence the initial magnetism.
Wow as an infp it was nice to feel understood
Hi...I had an infj best friend and I miss our friendship because of these points! Kudos to you guys❤
You're amazing guys❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤... We need more videos ....
This is so beautiful.... I had to subscribe cause I could relate to so much.
Fi critic comes to me as feeling worthless, inadequate and overall self-deprecation/loathing. I'm very critical of myself.
You both are great. Also, the background adds a nice vibe to the video.
Aww, a new video about you guys. ^^
Love the dynamic, speaking as an INFJ :)
Thank you and please keep uploading such fascinating and interesting, but most importantly, romantic and sweet videos.
A pattern that i noticed between INFJ, ENFP, and INFP, is the INFJ and ENFP are shadow types. This means what is conscious to the INFJ is unconscious to the ENFP. Where for the INFP, like myself, can relate is I relate to both the INFJ and ENFP terms of creativity and possibilities; I can hold on to both and the same time. And it hard for me to understand the INFJ’s logical and orderly thinking process.
With all that said, the INFP is a rearranged version of the ENFP.
“Connecting the dots” of possibilities is a good way to describe the INFP.
I can relate strongly to the need to ask questions to be able to understand what the person is feeling...I ask not for myself but to help find a solution to their problem...INFJ the counselor 😁
I believe that other Personality types are more empathic than we are...we are Empaths not emphatic there's a big difference between those two 🤔
I care...kind of...but I only get involved if the persons state of mind affects my life...I don't have the need to make every person happy 😬
I mean...I'm not an ENFJ 😁
Yes! Exactly the same for me.
Well said!
My main function is introverted feeling (Fi). And i think it is true. Sometimes i can't tell someone is sad but when i do, i can feel them deeply but not in the picture of them, like you said "cross-reference" so true! 😂.
But with that, our logical thinking (Ti) sucks 😂. Thank god we have you guys INFJ/ENFJ.
Have to talk about your emotions, can't keep them inside. Especially if you're unaware of your emotions by being either in negative emotions or positive emotions.
This helped me understand so much thank you ❤️
So interesting video, opened me up for so many new thoughts
as an infj i really enjoyed this video. more brain food rlly. I was wondering, what are yall zodiac signs? my guess is Virgo & Taurus hahah sorry i just got curious bc ive been rlly into astrology along with mbti lately :)
Hahaha thats awesome! Who do you think is who?
@@infjAJ maybe you're the Taurus and ur bf is the Virgo? sorry if I'm wrong 😅
@@alli1012 no thats great 😂 I'm a pisces with a Taurus moon and gemini rising and Brooks is a Capricorn!
Any updates? I love hearing your videos !!
I’m so conflicted with trying to figure out why I feel like I am 60/40 infj/infp because I do both depending on the situation and also feel maybe I changed from infp to infj from traumatic experiences in my life I’m ready to go see a damn therapist it’s bothering me that much i have so many thoughts about all of this fml
I am an infp verbal processor.
22:10 and around. Yes, Fi and Si! :)
Sadly no, we r emotionally manipulated very easily though we process through when we r alone and look through and find out that what was said is not correct. But in the first place it's very painful and hard because infps r asking themselves Constantly if it is true what other people think on the behalf of the infp. Out of my own experience I can say I was emotional manipulated and it was the worst feeling I ever had.
I sometimes am very confused if I am infj too because I do a lot of things infjs describe. I can't agree on the recognizing if someone else is feeling bad instantly, I do know. I just don't get hooked on their emotions so fast, but I know instantly too. And I ask people if they r alright but I also know that people r drawn to me in a very weird way to tell me automatically if something is off.
My infj partner is talking too less about himself, I know he is over thinking all the time, he is stressed very easily and even has insomnia. But when he tells me something he more talks about others instead of himself, what he is thinking about, what is going inside of him. And I don't know how to make him talk about himself a bit more... I wanna know about him, not others so much. When I ask him directly he mostly says "I don't think something special" an answer I know well as a mechanism because I say it when I assume people r not interested in what I say anyway or might not understand or feel overwhelmed. But I get him, I wanna listen him out and understand him. I don't know how to reassure him he can tell me all and I will never judge him in a way bad because of it.
I was talking to an INTJ for almost 2 years but yeah that's the main problem we have he is fi user and i am fe user because i am INFJ too. I am jealous too why he seems to always know what he feel while me i was having a hard time what i am feeling and it end up being in chaos because he push me harder because he get mad at me thinking i am a phony but tbh i was really confused too myself because i don't see anything wrong with me i was just trying to fix the situation with what is right not who is right. 😒
how do 2 introverts get to meet each other?
Common interest was how we met! Doing what we both loved ❤️
This is great :)
Very helpful.
More videos like this!!
that is cute, i am an infp and can relate to him
INFP’s Fi, as all cognitive functions, completely opposite INFJ’s Fe. How do they react similarly as NFs?
Sweet video. I wonder how it would look like if the roles were switched, him an infj and she an infp 🤔
That is my situation. As an INFP I don't know how to explain it though. Still processing.
Yeah I’m INFJ and my gf is INFP, getting thing out of my gf’s mind takes some hard work...it’s kind of hard for her to just express things out.
Me(infp) am currently engaged to an intj. So I’m curious on how you both deal with it
Considering the meyers briggs scale why is infj less common than infp?
How she talks calms me down idky.
If u break up...I'll feel very bad
Do you know your shadow functions, btw, @A.J. Azure? (Ne nemesis (worry of perspectives), Fi critic (self-worth), Te trickster (unawareness of thoughts of others), and Si ("demon": bad memory).)
I've listened to c.s. joseph talk about the shadow functions and I definitely relate to what he describes. Wish I knew more about them and how they show up for me
is bad memory a INFJ trait?
I subbed
what are your zodiac signs!!!
I’m a Pisces sun, Gemini rising, Taurus moon! Brooks is a Capricorn sun!
God hes cute!
The worst possible thing about Introverted feeling is the Fi Si loop. Basically being stuck in a rut. Also, what is brooks' enneagram?
He is a 9w1 :)
@@infjAJ thanks ^^
YOU ARE SO FUCKING CUTE GUYS! =)
Aww THANKS! :)
I get strong INTP vibes from your husband. Your description of FI also is not Fi.
you are so different in clothes
Pls dont