Lightlark- The Most Vibrant Display of Overhyped Failure
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- čas přidán 7. 04. 2023
- 7 hours wasn't enough to ask all the questions I had or to point out all the inconsistencies within this book. This is one of those stories that gets worse the longer you think about it. See what inconsistencies you can find!
The Guru on the Beach/How Bad Do You Want Success?
Original-
• Eric Thomas - The Guru...
Edited-
• How Bad Do You Want It...
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Me, watching a seven and a half hour video on a book I've never heard of from a channel I've never watched before, nodding and acting like I have a stake in any of this: Yes, call her ass out, get her.
literally me
I'm doing this too.
Welcome his channel is so fun!
Sames
I could not believe when you said "seven and a half hour video" and had to check. it went by like nothing today!
"She ran like she was running from something."
The editor was underpaid or not enjoying the work by this point, huh?
Given how many times Alex describes something as a "thing" (cliffy thing, yolky thing) I'm seriously wondering if she had an editor at all 💀
You think there was an editor?? Lmao
Bold of you to assume an editor was even involved
🤣😂🤣
@@davidmauriciogutierrezespi5244 Bold of Alex to keep getting rejected by agents and never hire an editor
"even Twilight got people to read, and once they started reading, they learned to read something better" this is gold lmaoo
So true
The thing is that twilight isn't THAT bad. Not like this
@@asherscott3151 so true. Atleast Meyer kept us engaged till the end, and she can write well without using words like "meanly" and "yolky thing"
Or they went on to read 50 Shades and Colleen Hoover 😥
@@asherscott3151 It's definitely not good but this is truly next level
The fact that the ruler of an island is called Isla Crown is so lazy it's actually funny
Like calling a lawyer Mr. Law
Law J McProsecutor, the J stands for Justice
@@thesetwofloofs5397 and his arch-nemesis, Mr. Defense Attour Ney
Lawyers with ridiculous names? Huh, rings a bell...In all seriousness though, Ace Attorney to me is the perfect way to give characters over-the-top names and make it work. "Isla Crown" is a pretty name but it's too on-the-nose; it's too easy.
@@pikapower_kirbyRhythm Doctor does it well too, with Cole Brew (a caffeine addict) and Nicole Ting (a smoking addict) being the two most obvious examples
@@nohintshere Those names are amazing!
Bragging about no one guessing the twist is like a professor bragging that everyone failed his class.
💀💀💀
they have to reach the word count somehow.
Yeah like a professor bragging that they know more than their students
half right. the thing about a good plot twist is, that it should make sense in retrospect. it should be suprising so its not the same
true
Imagine thinking your book going to be made into a 150 minute long movie, and what you get is a singular CZcams rant with thrice the length.
They should just show this review in theatres.
This comment 😂
Upgrades, people, upgrades!
I'd also like to recommend Crow Caller's 4 hour rampage through it
@@deen7530 Or split it into three parts like the hobbit films
i find it hard to believe that in all her years of training, isla was never prepared for having to eat human hearts in front of others
Can't afford to waste the hearts on her I guess, she's only their ruler after all 🙄
@@SpicyButterflyWingsHave her eat pig hearts then. Lie and say it's a human heart, if she hasn't seen them she won't know the difference. I'd worry about her dying of some sort of foodborne illness but considering that every other part of her training just seems like an excuse to try to kill her, why would they care about her health in that regard?
@theflyingspaget Do the hearts have to be eaten raw? If not then I don't think foodborne illness would be much of a problem. But the pig hearts isn't a bad idea. It seems like such an oversight to prep Isla with training for all these other incredibly situational events but not teach her to stomach a heart.
I think it would have made much more sense for Aster to just make the wildlings full-on cannibals. More food to go around for everyone, Grim can still use his little nickname Hearteater, and all they'd need to do to prepare Isla is get her to think of any other kind of meat when she eats.
@@SpicyButterflyWingsThis is a far better idea for a nature curse! In fact, just give them all the most horrible aspects of nature. Some are completely horrible parents, but spout out so many that it makes up for it. Some are dangerous cannibals. And so forth. Making them clearly the worst would put MC in an interest bind.
Before watching the video, I genuinely don't know if this comment is sarcastic or not.
I'm so sick of reading these stories where any other woman outside the main character is either the mean bully/the secret villain pretending to be your friend or basically non-existent
Bill was a sad boy. He got bullied a lot and cried after school.
So, one day, he turned into a tree.
There, I made a twist none of you predicted. I am therefore an amazing author.
Bill Nye the Forest Guy
Quick give this man a movie deal
I’m invested.
I mean, this sounds like a great start to a folk story about how the weeping willow got its name.
Literary genius
The poorly defined "if you love someone they get your powers" mechanic makes me want to write a Lightlark fanfiction about Oro's ridiculously overpowered pet dog. The best little good boy.
i think if your beta readers have enjoyed the twist and mystery you left enough clues. adding more could make it too obvious.
@@ghoulchan7525 agreed, but what does this have to do with the poorly constructed and unnecessarily convoluted magic system?
@@abs-urdity ... Nothing i think i wrote this in reply to someone else's comment. No idea how it ended up here.
Freaking CZcams
@@ghoulchan7525 brilliant website. I’m glad it’s super reliable and stable.
Honestly I'd read that, it'd be infinitely better than actual Lightlark
"I don't eat hearts. But pull that again, and for you? I'll make an exception." is actually a pretty raw line. I know it's one line out of seven hours but it struck me that that's actually pretty cool in a vacuum of heart-eating people.
I had the same thought, that line does kinda rip
He ate honestly
No it's not! It's so lame!
Like, what: You are so angry that you are not just going to kill them, but to eat their organ? You will do what they are accusing you off, proving them correct, because you are angry?
Excuse me, you are correct: It's is a raw line. It's "foooocking raw!"
@@aleahcim24unlike Isla with the heart
It's a surprisingly good line. Also, the way Krimson read it was actually kinda menacing somehow XD
Honestly just hearing an author say 'no one guessed the twists of my book' this proudly is just a huge red flag because it usually means that the twists weren't set up properly and or just thrown in for shock value
It’s like when a teacher/professor says “only 10% of you will pass this class”. Like ok so you’re a terrible teacher then.
I'm really amused by how much of Isla's outfit is apparently secret knives. I have this mental image of her tripping and accidentally killing herself and everyone else in the room.
She trips and knives just shoot out of her clothes like she springloaded them, everyone lives just long enough to yell at her for being a dumbass before succumbing to their wounds. The realms are doomed.
She trips and a bunch of knives just fall out
She tries gathering them back together as everyone else in the room is looking at her like this -> 👁️👁️
Talk about a sharp dresser!
For what it's worth, it is kind-of fun in a really stupid way. Like she's just constantly this massive weirdo that's so paranoid she's just constantly hiding weapons on her body and she's just always twirling swords or fucking with knives or something. She's basically that one kid you knew in Highschool that was super into sword, but they're a bit TOO into it to the extent where it's kind-of lame?
Super unintentional characterization, but it is a bit endearing with just how dumb it is. She would totally be the type of person to just start waving a dagger around at random just to fish for someone to ask about it, lol.
Instead of spaghetti spilling out of her pockets, it’s knives.
This channel feels like an English professor got his tenure and decided to exclusively study and give lectures on terrible books. I'm here for it.
I'd take that elective course. Hell, once I get my PhD, I actually would teach it! I think everyone could stand to learn from the horrible as well as the wonderful. Both offer a level of transcendence in knowledge.
He's better than my actual English professor. Apparently, everything is connected to Frankenstein.
With his trusty assistant ash.
@@becuaseimbored3481mayby shalley is like the mom of modern scifi ,but everything?!
@@marocat4749 it wasn't even sci-fi it was stuff like hellboy and v for vendetta
I think I can see what Aster is trying to do by constantly listing the qualities each realm has. It’s like Hogwarts houses (Harry Potter), godly parents (PJO), courts (ACOTAR), etc. Theyre all categories that fans can imagine and subdivide themselves into. Aster probably wrote her world imagining all the buzzfeed quizzes people will take to determine what realm they are
I’m convinced HP is still so popular because there’s four separate personality tests in it: Hogwarts house, Ilvermorny house, wand, and patronus.
@@laughingseagull000makes for easy merch too
I can just imagine what it'd be like in a world where Lightlark took off.
"Haha, don't take me personally. I'm a Sunling, so I speak my mind no matter what!"
*Skylings Are The Most Powerful Race In Lightlark, And Here's 10 Reasons Why:*
"Uh, you can't have two powers and two curses. This is a lore-accurate roleplay server, so follow the rules!"
@@deen7530 Usually, if you can't quantify it into a computer MMO character creation, the power system is broken.
It wouldn't even work because nightshade is so obiously the best realm
Isla: “Hey Oro, have you ever heard of the bond-breaker?”
Oro: “No- wait, don’t you mean the bond-MAKER?”
[Roll credits]
all the obstacles just feel like a bunch of kids playing an imaginary game and where one says "i fireball you!!" the other just goes "nuh uh, i actually have fireproof armor 😌"
This is such a beautiful representation
So like South Park: The Stick of Truth, got it. 🤣
Or my favorite: “Um I’m actually invincible 🤪”
As someone who has been molding my own story concept (that I first came up with when I was 12, supposedly the same age Aster was when she began reaching out to publishers about Lightlark,) it's likely not an accident that the vibe is "kids roleplaying a fight."
Editted some phrasing to clarify my statement, because no matter how many times I reread my original comment I couldn't grasp what my original thought was.
Also adding, my story idea when I was 12 also sort of gave this "poorly constructed anime fight scene" energy that I've worked really hard to avoid having at all in more modern renditions, even cutting more than half the combat to focus solely on character interactions, since those are more important to the story than the fights are. Given that this story I consider my brainchild first started when I was twelve, I can see in Aster's story what pieces likely remained somewhat the same over the course of time. It makes sense that her fights play out like that, because I feel like when you're young and inexperienced as a writer, you tend to accidentally make things very "Animal Jam Warrior Cats RP in Sarephia Forest." As in, "he bleeds out. Actually, he missed and can't die. Actually...etc."
Kids want to make stories and fights interesting, but instead they tend to write themselves into corners or accidentally break their own canon and then write themselves out of corners with bs logic because...they're kids and that makes sense to them. What I was trying (and failing) to say is that it feels like too much of Lightlark's story/fights/characters never evolved past her earliest drafts, since a lot of these issues cropped up.
@@ixeliemayou sure you won’t suffer he same faults? Let’s hear this story concept?
Me: I can't start a new TV show, they take too long to watch.
Also Me when I see a 7 hour book review: Don't mind if I do!
Mood lmao
I feel seen.
Great minds think a like
I have a final essay worth 30% of my grade due on Monday that I need to finish and yet I'm sitting here starting a 7.5 hour long video.
Edit: Thanks for the advice, everyone, I turned it in this morning. I'm hoping for a solid B.
Yep, agreed. 😂
"Where darkness meets light" is clearly Isla as Oro and Grim plow her at the same time.
Im not fearful of the love triangle of book 2 becoming a weird polygamy plot
I would write this smut
it’s not a place or a time but…. a person 😨
@@lighthouse6543I am always for encouraging young writers but …. But I honestly think this world is not ready for that fanfiction genre.
I am we were not even ready for Lightlark so a story were Isla and those two will probably destroy the internet😂
Why did you say something when you could have said literally nothing. That thought needs to be locked away for the safety of man, should any of its many limbs reach out into the universe they will usher in many dark eons, locking the universe in its slimy grasp forevermore.
The fact that Isla is in her 20s while most of the other characters are hundreds of years old, yet she still managed to hold her own against them, genuinely bothers me. They have had HUNDREDS OF YEARS to master their skills. Imagine facing someone in combat who has had centuries of practice. No twenty-something can beat that. This is something that the worst-thought-through vampire novels have managed to get right and brings Mary Sue who a whole new level.
I don't even think she's 20-something, I heard that she's 19
@@tealrootsgwhy are they always so young? every isekai romance (acotar for example) seems to make their female protagonists like, 17-20 and its actually so lame. then they just proceed to make the dumbest decisions possible. it’s especially uncomfortable given how often the male interests are hundreds or thousands of years old. i want a middle aged protagonist who actually makes rational decisions and acts in a mature way.
@@quanticflowers4264 agreed, a fantasy book with characters in their late twenties/thirties would be a nice change
@@quanticflowers4264 because younger protagonists appeals to a wider/younger audiences
The reason the protagonists are in their early twenties/late teens is because the intended audience is ALSO that age.
When I hear "star stick", I think those cheap gold glitter star wands they sell to go with fairy and princess Halloween costumes.
Yes!
She definitely could have used an object name generator (they're great to get started, and for a good laugh sometimes) if she couldn't think of anything better, it would have helped her stuff not sound so childish. 👀
Even star wood sounds better.
good. Someone here has to have a clear mind. Cause i'm think of a whole different kind of "star stick"
honestly, all I can picture is the Star Rod from the Kirby games. Stripes and everything.
The biggest problems with this story are:
1.) The worldbuilding is like YandereSim, adding a bunch of cool shit cause it's cool without making sure you have something that actually works
2.) The plot regularly possesses the characters to make them say or do whatever it needs
3.) I could describe every character with a single word
Isla: dumb
Grim: edgelord
Oro: old
Azul: gay
Cleo: bitch
Celeste: bitch
Ella: disabled
Juniper: expostitory
Terra and Poppy: bitch
Allow me:
Isla: overpowered
Grim: horny
Oro: annoying
Cleo: bitch
Azul: huh?
Celeste: evil
No, YandereSim is too far-at least the creator actually finished the book instead of making endless excuses for over a decade.
It's feature creep but for novels
When you said the nomenclature was very immature and childish, I was like “Oh wow, that’s really hyperspecific, I wonder what stuff is named to generate that comment because I’ve never heard someone say that specifically about a book before.”
I was not fucking prepared. Literally Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Clyde, residing on Ink Island, Blink Island, Pink Island, and Clyde Island. I named shit like this when I was EIGHT and saving my stories to a FLOPPY DISK.
If you are following the naming convention, it should be Clde island.
@@leotamer5 hahaha Clde island
I see I'm not the only one rewatching this video to remember what the fuck happened in the first book before watching the second. I've got a lot of really slow shifts this week and I'm just playing this at work
@@DarkSlayer9587 yeah I'm trying to finish this video before going to the second
I can vividly imagine Krimson stumbling out of his editing room covered in blood after all of this was done and just groaning, "Well that was tedious."
Aside from the blood, that actually did happen.
@@KrimsonRogue Sure. 'No blood'. Wink-wink.
>.>
i heard that in his voice
The Infinite One Rodin of book reviews!
XD
I feel like authors sometimes get so wrapped up in their ships they forget the reality of boundaries. It's actually very invasive for a stranger to press chocolate up against your mouth and feed you from their hands, no matter how attractive they are. Like I get it, we wanna get to the cute stuff, but it's very strange for something so sensual to be happening right away. I wouldn't buy this level of physical comfort even if they'd slept together immediately.
Especially since that scene seemed to be written in a "platonic" way. I wouldn't even be entirely comfortable with my partner feeding me chocolate like that. Even my closest friends wouldn't be allowed to do that. Also Islas reaction was weirdly sexy
@@harveyhaslostit Plus, they’re in public. It’s already weird but Isla is orgasming over chocolate in the middle of the marketplace
@@harveyhaslostit how about your grandma
@@harveyhaslostit how about your dog
@🌸 𝐄𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 🌸 problem is that kawaii anime romance is so incredibly unrealistic and arguably in some cases harmful of the younger folks who watch it (especially of a large chunk of their adolescence was spent in lockdown and not socialising outside and learning how to socialise with members of the opposite (or same) sex.
The only time I hand feed my partner is when I'm in the passenger seat and going on a very long drive and he's driving and wants a snack or some sweets.
According to a study the human heart contains roughly 650 calories.
According to the math each adult actually does need to eat three human hearts to reach their daily caloric needs.
The requirement is *literally* three square hearts a day.
Tbh that's the worst kind of critique. Cinema sins vibe.
This is a magic world not our plain physical world.
Human hearts sustain them because they are required to eat it because of magic, not because they need nutrients.
@@alqualonde2998 Critique?
@alqualonde2998 I would normally agree that this is a nitpick if the author even bothered to explain this. Maybe they do need 3 hearts a day, maybe one a week? We don't know which it is because she never tells us, and the fact that calorically it matches up to the joke is a hilarious coincidence, a coincidence because I refuse to believe the author put even that much thought into this
@@alqualonde2998 seemed less like a critique and more like the joke coincidentally lining up with reality.
@@alqualonde2998even so that still means you need to be able to support it.
Where do they get the hearts?
Imagining someone just hanging out and all of a sudden they sneeze and start their period and just like fireworks or fire erupting from their crotch is hilarious to me
The image of a stray tampon acting like a flare is..
An interesting thought 💀
Everytime she wrote "Fisted" to mean someone is making a fist is a curse even Lightlark won't break
Ew
this books biggest crime is going "the protagonist comes from a people that eats hearts. she doesn't do that tho"
just disappointing, think of all the good heart gore it could have had
And reading this comment made me want to get Pandora's Tower. 🤣
A major plot point of the game is *feeding the hearts of monsters from a dangerous tower to the protagonist's cursed girlfriend.*
her having the curse but no powers would be so interesting, and ngl since shes half nightshade you could even make her being kept inside work. since oro stays indoors mostly her mentors could have just tried to convince her to stick to him so she never finds out until their plan has worked or she goes out at night and oro saves her for drama. man it would be so easy to make this book work by simplifying
at the beginning she has no powers and no curse, but later it turns out she has all power, no curse tho
it's such bullshit, i hate it, i don't like calling characters mary sues but i have no other word to describe her character, she's a mary sue who has powers with no setbacks other characters have
fun fact:
In the very first Final Fantasy game, you could eat parts of monsters to turn into them and gain some of their abilities.
Not entirely though, you'd basically become a hybrid. You'd have their form, but retain all your mental abilities.
That game also involved sci-fi time travel. Truly a masterpiece of weird.
What irks me isn't just the fact that she specifically doesn't have the non-thematically appropriate curse, but the fact that she doesn't even remotely behave like someone raised in a society where that curse has existed for several centuries.
No one behaves like anything in the world has happened. It's just set dressing.
When Krimson mentioned that the rulers (except for Isla and Celeste) are hundreds of years old, I pictured them to look like they’re 50-70. I imagined them with wrinkles, some of them with greying hair, and that Cleo had a cane, even though one was never described. This mental image of the characters worked against me as soon as Grim started flirting with Isla and later Oro joined the love triangle.
I kept imagining Oro as looking like King Henry the 8th throughout the entire reading lmao
I always imagined him as a 40-something black man, probably because Sun Realm = hot land in my head
@Ellisepha Personally, I pictured Oro as Mansa Musa, the ruler if the Mali Empire, a kingdom rich with gold. Cause, you know, Oro literally means gold, and Mansa Musa had a shit ton of gold.
@@Queen_Cnidarian Yeah, I also had a sirta Mansa Musa type oc character in mind for him!
I pictured Oro looking like the Ice King from _Adventure Time_ but OrAnGe, Grim was just non-descript “dark knight”, while both Cleo and Azul looked like the azure rainbow fairy from _Barbie: Fairytopia_ (Azura) in my head. I’ve never read the book, I don’t intend to, and two characters looking the same except they’re sometimes a little greyer than each other is infinitely funnier to me.
Edit: I also thought Oro’s name was spelt Auro until I finally got a glimpse of it in the video. Can you tell I don’t speak Spanish?
At this point, I’m convinced Aster saw Divergent and really liked the scene with all the kids pouring their blood into different bowls of stuff: rocks, coal, water etc. and figured she would use something like that in her book. And then forgot about the elemental blood when it was inconvenient for the plot.
I thought the exact same thing when the fear mirror came up, an aspect that was also very prominent in Divergent!
Reading this book is like being invited over to that annoying kid in your class's house and when you start playing pretend, he starts making up a bunch of shit that gives him more powers than you in order to beat you and then progressively throws more of a fit when you outsmart him and you're not old enough to drive so you have to stay there until your parent picks you up.
so glad others had this experience as a kid
This is too accurate 🤣🥲
Yes! I thought exactly the same!
This technically should have been released on Sunday.
"And on the third day, Book Jesus rose again."
On Easter too, damn.
One day early, he rose before Jesus
@@lazarus9581 Tbf, He isn't shown going outside
If it helps, it is currently Sunday in Australia hahaha
Cringe
Isla could have been soooo interesting if she was affected by the curse. It would be so refreshing to see a monstrous protagonist in YA. I wish everyone was a little stranger and more unnerving. The vibes would be so great.
And the "killing the people you love" thing could have brought such tension to the romance! And the "eating human hearts" thing could have been a way to say that, even though she does something many would consider horrifying and disgusting, that she's still just a person affected by the poor circumstance of the curse, and would make us root for her to break it.
Instead, having her be the only one not affected by the curse makes her the peak of "I'm not like other girls".
You’d love the book I’m writing then lol. All my females (ew hate how I said that) literally have a “curse” (I’m not specifying cause I wanna get it published and have it be a surprise but they’re nasty) and yes my mc does have good traits but all of my characters are some sort of wretched and it just makes my story ten times better.
This book sounds to be about 95% exposition and 5% backtracking
The idea that Aster kept pressing on her story to be published so much that her agent literally quit (according to her) is incredibly funny
Yeah... and not something she should be smug about. You're not a 5 year-old, Aster!!
Maybe this is because I'm not overly-blessed with self-esteem, but if I had to work THAT HARD just to find someone willing to publish my story, I might think maybe the story is the problem here. 😅
@@TheAdrift narcissism at its finest, the narcissist us never the problem, its everyone else!
I find it amusing that Isla is revolted by a glove made out of human skin while her entire realm sustains itself exclusively on human hearts.
kind of like when a person watches gore without blinking but cringes and gets nauseous seeing someone hawk a loogie
I mean, seeing as she herself doesn't eat human hearts and has been sheltered her entire life, it would do shit to you seeing it irl compared to just knowing about it
I decided to scroll through the comments before the video officially started and seeing this comment without any context from the book made me chuckle for a good while. This is a really stupid book isn't it?
@@NA-ANsame
@@OROZWBRAZELno. that's valid. spit is vile.
A better moonling curse would have prob been a werewolf situation. Once a month, everyone morphs into mindless beasts. The culture could be intricate; every household had reinforcements from strong doors to sturdy prison cells. Women and children, though also beastly, would be sparse and require even greater protection. Staying inside wouldn't be enough. They would be powerful but lack control. Other clans could try to exploit them, even, or traffic them for war purposes. So much potential but nope. Just... spooky ocean tides.
I was thinking a better curse for the Moonlings would be they become hypnotized by the full moon to seek out the ocean (or any large enough body of water) and drown themselves in it. Would still carry a tangential relation to the moon affecting the ocean tides. And it would still functionally be similar enough to the current curse that not much would beed to change plot wise. When the full moon comes all the Moonlings would lock themselves away indoors, completely block out the windows, and hunker down until the moon sets to avoid mindlessly killing themselves. If only this was a better book, both of our ideas work so much better than what Aster went with.
Why would women and children be sparse? Because they'd be eating each other?
Doesn't really match with the moonlings' water/ice motif. A curse like that would better suit the wildlings. Especially since they're supposed to be viewed as dangerous, maneating monsters. You could even keep the heart eating thing by having that be the only way to stave off the transformation.
Personally, I think the biggest fumble was having moonlings and nightshades. Two groups associated with the night is a bit… weird, especially because there are sunlings, people who are associated with the sun and have power over fire. I think it would have been better to combine the moonlings and nightshade into one group, and then have earthlings or something of the like fill the role of Cleo and keep the number of groups even.
Separating moon and night is fine, especially since we have stars and sky.
If anything wildlings are the odd ones off since everyone is based on celestial objects, the sky or the concept of night which could tie into being outer space.
You know, a story like Lightlark would actually make for a hilarious isekai or reincarnation story. You have the big bad who lays out all the plot twists meant to shake the main character, but the protag is like 'That doesn't make any sense according to the rules of this world' and ends up unravelling the whole plot.
One Isekai story at least has the gall to outright justify summoning heroes to the world because the Demon King has 100% unassailable unbeatable plot armour which can only be defeated by summons who are given powers outside of the world's internal logic. The MC of the story isn't even the Hero(who had previously been summoned to the world and are still active), but just some rando from Earth whom the Goddess of Reincarnation is using as a hotel room to take vacations from her duties.
@@YDV669you just described the plot of most isekais
This is actually similar to the plot of Scum Villain's Self Saving System! It's very funny, the main character gets isekai'd into a book he HATES and is forced into the body of the villain that dies horribly, so much of the story is him making fun of everything around him while also desperately trying to change the plot so he wont die at the end. It's also a gay romance and parodies both straight harem series and infamous gay tropes. Highly recommend!
@@WalkInMyPawsteps Then meets the author who also got isekaid lol And has his own romance
@@WalkInMyPawsteps I really love MXTX novels this SSVS is awesome, funny. Very creative way to write.
Let's appreciate how "Hearteater" must sound to wildlings. And imagine same plays-on-their-curse names for other islanders? Sun-coward? Wave-victim?
I would be dead if I was drinking water while reading this comment.
Sun-coward is so good
@@jojol.2630that's just what I'd use to bully a vampire
AU where Isla is a Starling:
Grim: Hello there, Dead-Child.
@@deen7530 how, er, romantic?
Have I read Lightlark? No. Will I watch every BookTube video talking about it? Yes. Will I tell my whole family I'm sick so I can stay in bed and watch a 7 hour Krimson video? Absolutely.
I had raging tonsilitis all week and now I'm wishing I caught it later than I did
We have strep throat going through our house atm, so it's not exactly a lie but I may be playing it up a bit 😅. I hope you're feeling better!
@@klane2004 I finally started recovering yesterday, but it was six days of misery before that. But I'm feeling well enough to go to my Easter gathering tomorrow. Thanks for the well wishes!
I always love listening to very long videos
@@DragonSlicer same!
I love how the comments have come together and literally written a better book than the one being reviewed.
And they'll do it again 😎
Isla is *100%* a Mary Sue; even when she fucks up due to her own stupidity, the plot bends over backwards to make sure she gets out as cleanly as humanly possible.
She ends the book with ALL OF THE POWERS by ACCIDENT
The same in Acotar, crescent City and etc... all the woman protagonists need to be like a Super Sayajin without trainnig
@@xiexielianIt's really not about her being a woman; this happens to non-female protagonists too.
just realized it would be so fucking easy to fix the double curse thing: just make wildlings crave the taste of their beloved's heart in particular. make it a self control thing
That also gets rid of this weird exception (don't know if it's explained why they're an exception later tho)
@@C.C.353 Yeah, you could twist it into a loveless marriage trying to combine two realms' powers.
edit: and going by the taste thing, maybe make any regular old heart taste disgusting. maybe there's an underground group of wildlings that's so depraved that they run an organization centered around making hearts taste the best; aka either purposefully helping their clients love their victim while forcing said victim to endure prolonged captivity and possible torture or a hitlist system where you can hire people to kill and take the hearts of people you love, yet consider expendable enough to kill for momentary satisfaction. Sounds contradictory, I know, but the level of detatchment from morality and common sense it would take for someone to be capable of regarding love as a tool for self-satisfaction at the cost of murder would *actually* make the wildling's reputation as monsters believeable.
You can also explain how the wildlings don't starve this way, they can eat normal food just fine but the second they fall in love the only thing that can save them from starving is their lover's heart.
@sparksparkle i'm a writer by hobby so this is really nice to hear :)
@@theflyingspaget That also works, but if you want to enforce the narrative that Wildlings are seen as monstrous, it's best to write a reason to see them that way. The more choice you give them in the matter, the more reason the other realms would have to hate them. Starvation as an effect of love is especially cruel and definitely fits the narrative, but other realms' perception of them would need to change accordingly.
Thinking how the rulers have overall remained constant throughout the centennials makes it all so much funnier/worse. Just the same people in the same room showing off their powers which are the same as last time they went through this weird summer camp talent show
Hahaha, maybe that’s why all the demonstrations were kinda dull, they’ve run out of ideas over all this time
It would've made such a good book (or better at least) if they showed how they're all basically exhausted emotionally and mentally by doing this BS every year and nothing changes, and yet now suddenly it's culminating into seriously immediate danger and they've been out of ideas of centuries already.
It would be so much better if they decided that so much if the rules might just be for show and they had to figure out what rule was okay to break and how to work together to beat this BS.
The exhaustion and ennui of living for so long could make an interesting discussion. As well as a sort of railway track philosophical conversation between leaders about how on earth they could try to save the most lives possible.
But that's potentially too thingy for stereotypical YA? When the typical tropes are love triangles and young woman who does good fighting in a fantasy land that's all dystopian and the ruling system is generally awful.
😭😭😭
A good twist is one you almost see coming.
A great twist is one you didn't see coming.
A bad twist is one you couldn't see coming.
A bad twist is also one you saw coming a mile away. It’s a balance.
@@Queen_Cnidarian I feel like a good twist is one that makes SO much sense when it is revealed as the truth has been there openly and clearly from the beginning, but the author has deceived you just enough for you to come to the wrong conclusions and think it *must* be the other thing.
this feels like the kind of book I'd find at the Scholastic Book Fair when I was 11 years old and read it front to back in 2 days and then gush about it to my parents and have them feign interest because they can tell its bullshit but don't wanna squash my love of reading
It honestly does! Plus the fanfic you would write for yourself soon afterwards. No one wants to hurt your feelings but can never find a good way to say that both need serious work and editing to fix!
Lolol so true. I miss when I was a teenager and had honestly no taste in reading. Literally anything was art back then - and I mean ANYTHING.
Every time Krimson explains more of Isla's 'training', I think the 'training' was actually a series of elaborate assasination attempts that she survived through plot armor and dumb luck.
It can't have been plot armour because there is no plot
Aurora: "Raise this child and I'll spare your race."
Terra and Poppy: *Abandon the child in a hurricane, stab it multiple times with spears, etc* "Are we doing it right?"
"We abandoned her on that branch 10 hours ago and she's still holding. If we get her down now and tell her it was training, she might spare us."
"You'll be learning how to hold your breath underwater for a long time. Now that we've chained you to this rock...."
It sounds that way with her clothing too. A blade around her neck?
Krimson: makes a 7+ hour video
Also Krimson: So you gotta watch this at least twice
And you know darn well I’m gonna! I love listening to these during long gaming sessions (Stardew Valley or Terraria or Skyrim, usually)
Currently doing just that!
@@LittleCircuitBreaker Same! I finished the video yesterday at the end of the work day and I am compelled to listen to the video again to pick up the things I missed the first time around.
Me: Sure thing!
Deal, but the 2nd watch is going to be in 4-ish months when I've forgotten a lot of the details and can be surprised again.
THE MIRROR TEST IS LITERALLY A STORY ELEMENT IN DIVERGENT LMAO. did the author just take plot points from every ya book in existence ??? LOL
Sometimes predicting the twist before it's reveal is just as exciting as being blindsided with it. I've had plenty of moments while reading where the, "I KNEW IT All ALONG," was better than the, "I never saw that coming."
I personally love guessing a twist, especially if it’s logical and required a keen eye. I feel like a genius.
It really depends on how well seeded the hints are. The Ace Attorney franchise is a great example of this. Early on, the endpoint is laid bare, so the gratification lies in arranging the breadcrumbs to that endpoint. Later on, even in the first game, piecing together all the evidence towards that ultimate "Gotcha!" moment becomes the reward.
If the twist is lit by neon signs, it's boring. If the twist is subtle enough to have multiple possibilities, it is rewarding to have chosen the right one.
Absolutely. I prefer it when a book has the foreshadowing to keep me guessing - it becomes an exciting guessing game and I feel like Hercule Poirot when I'm right. If a story becomes too hard to guess the twists, I find myself zoning out and just waiting for the reveal sometimes, and that's not nearly as fun
She started querying at TWELVE?! Yea, no wonder she got rejected. The agencies and publishers are not gonna risk anything on a kid. I was published at 17 and got rejected repeatedly just because of my age. I started to query at age 15 and it was a very hostile environment. Now I'm 29 and still working on getting books published and when people ask me if I think they should try to get published as a teenager I tell them:
*"No. Spend a few years tweaking, beta workshop in your manuscript and learn about the industry. Wait until you're a bit older and then try to get published. The industry is not kind to young authors and agents and publishers can and will take advantage of your inexperience. I know personally how it can go."*
Thank you for this, i feel like there's this real attitude of start young or you'll fail forever. I feel better about not rushing myself now
@@rowanquynn9964 No problem. I wish you the best of luck in your writing ❤
I remember my father trying to publish my unfinished book when I was 14 because he said I would only be successful if I published young
@@gloriafrimpong17 A lot of people think that. I've noticed it becoming a trend and it's a worrying one because the publishing industry is extremely cutthroat and honestly isn't a good idea to be published young.
@Odd Eyes94 would you be interested or willing to drop some more advice for aspiring writers? If you're not no pressure
The fact that the sequel got announced so close to the release of this video has me deeply worried for Krimson’s sanity.
Wait What?😅
14 hour sequel review, let's go!!!
My guess is it's going to take him quite a to get around to the sequel when it comes out.
@@gracekim25 I think it comes out in November… I facepalmed so hard when it showed up on my Amazon page 😅 poor Krimson 😂
@@alexjewett7455 He joked that he would have a video out in March/April of 2024, a full 5 months after release
1:00:00
“The Wildlings only need one heart to live a year. They trade their gemstones for the prisoners of other kingdoms, which is seen as beneficial for both realms”.
There, I fixed it 😂
Back again to throw hands about how the author deliberately picked a name that is commonly pronounced as is (Eye-la) says "I pronounce it differently" (eyes-la) and then has the audacity to say "I didnt expect so many people to get it wrong."
"They are ONE WET FLOOR away from a realm wide GENOCIDE" is now officially my new most favorite out of context quote. Thank you Krimson!
Didn't watch the video yet, I'm now assuming it's about a tribe of sock wearing jedis :O
**On the brink of turning to the dark side
No joke, I have a list of weird lines that I want to include/allude to in my own WIP, and I just added that one after watching this video :v
At the very top of my list, and I'm not making this up, is a _testimonial_ about a US congressman from the late 80's, who became so enraged at the ballooning budget of a scientific megaproject that _"he became non-linear"._ Goddamn, I love that description.
@@StrunDoNhor Gilmore Girls, 1st season, when Rory misses the huge Shakespeare test they have been working so hard for :
"We have stretched ourselves as thin as humanly possible without going completely postal!"
For the sake of anyone curious and for future reference: 1:37:45
I'm reminded of a Splinter Cell shitpost that was just called "Causing WWIII by dropping a single bottle" or something along those lines.
I always hate the “no one can guess my plot twist” having the murder in a true crime story be a dragon is also a twist no one can guess. It also ruins everything
... Now I just wanna read a fantasy murder mystery
Elder scrolls: am I a joke to you?
(No really, the dark brotherhood has dragons)
I mean, fantasy crime novel where a dragon IS a murderer?
@@StardustCorvidMay I direct your attention to the Dresden Files?
@@secondsea2 I will check that out when I can, then
Another plothole that (I think) hasn't been brought up yet: Isla's ancestor lost a hand and therefore had to produce an heir lest their disability put them at a disatvantage and risks killing houndreds of people, but Oro's poor health literally caused a palace to crumble, and nobody, not even he himself thinks "hey maybe 500 years were enough, you should have kids and die my dude." ????
This whole story feels like someone flicked thru a recipe book and picked every single ingredient they liked the sound of, and tried to bake it into a cake. There are individually a lot of intriguing ideas and aspects to this story but it's lost in the hodgepodge of a recipe cut and pasted together like a ransom note
That sums it up exactly. Booktok authors (not just Alex Aster) cherry-pick what tropes they like and shove them in their books without first crafting a story and THEN adding the tropes in.
This is why a lot of the books that are marketed in Booktok are cheap and pretty writing with no substance. They’re just a bunch of pretty Pinterest aesthetic pictures with no real context behind them.
"She can travel to all these different places endlessly, meet new people, and has to get back before her guardians find out"
This sounds like it should have been a book series with that being the first book so we see her learn about the world and then build up to the larger plot where that knowledge gives her an advantage over others
Wow! A good idea, no wonder why it wasn't in this book.
This could've also been a good way to keep the grim plot and then it ends with her losing her memories of him and coming back home for the centennial (if the plot was even kept) like, bruh
7 hours? Holy mother of all that is holy, KrimsonRogue is truly sacrificing his life and blood and tears for us
Oh yes sure bullying a writer that was 12 years old when she wrote this book is so heroic, are you daft?
yesssss he is!!!!!!! the most complex movie marathon ever.... condensed to a book!
I've never been more ready!!!
KrimsonRogue's going to need lots of catherapy after this video...
You can see Krimson's locks and beard grow in real time:)
2:27:00 this honestly reads to me like she loved that scene from Hunger Games where all the contestants display their unique abilities before a bunch of judges so they can get a score, and Katniss shoots the apple from the roasted pig's mouth. It's like she loved that scene so much that she thought up the moment with the throwing star and king's crown, then worked backward from there to create the rest of the scene to justify it, never realizing that it makes no sense in context. The whole scene only makes sense when you as a repeat-reader (or author) already know that it's just a framing device for that single throwing star moment.
The thing about Lightlark is that it has a very strong idea that has too much added into it.
I think that the story could work if the curses were just spun *very* recently, and the realms are in shambles. Make the curses *unlivable*. None of this avoidable crap. The Wildlings, consumed by bloodlust, are ripping each other to shreds in the streets, the Starlings are experiencing a mass extinction event, the Moon Isle is being decimated by natural disasters each phase of the moon, etc. Then, the prophecy comes. And all the rulers must now come together with the solemn understanding that they have to decide which of them will die if *any* of the realms are to survive.
It could set the stage for a really interesting intrigue plot. Have the rulers opposed on what should be done-- most of them agreeing to seek out an alternative solution to the problem while some scheme to assassinate one another just to put an end to it. Idk, I'm not a writer. I just think the entire concept becomes so much more interesting if the threat of the curses is immediate and pressing.
honestly, this is probably what happened in the first centennial. except the rulers figured the best course of action was attempting to slaughter each other until they said "fuck it let's let our kids handle this" and killed themselves
New fear unlocked: writing a book and ending up in a KrimsonRogue video 😅 these are great advice on what not to do.
as an author, yes 😭
@@hagfish2201 on one hand I'd love an in depth critique like he does but preferably before the publishing happens xD
I dunno...I think it'd be nice to show up as a positive comparison to a bad book. He does that quite often. Is a small shout-out, but a nice little dream.
Same 😂
But breaks are important too ❤
That's a valid fear I'm kinda developing myself. Honestly this kind of critique would be more than beneficial before I publish the book because when I do it at least I would know I published something decent...and not a second draft at best with whatever Lightlark has going on.
I will NEVER get over feeding her chocolate with 'two ENORMOUS fingers' it's SO UNNECESSARILY DISGUSTING way to describe that moment holy shiiiiit
I'm imagining screaming onlookers as he shovels chocolate directly into her throat with his bare hands- her exaggerated violent gagging mixing with the screams in a cacophony of confectionary sin.
man compensating for something XD
Man got yaoi hands
That whole scene grossed me out 💀
@@saintdude6032 ah hell naw man 💀
I've only made it to 3:24:14 but I've just realized that Isla having no powers also relates to how she has no actual governing powers, despite being the "ruler". She's being watched and controlled all the time, so who's doing the actual ruling?
I hate to inform you that with that train of thought alone you put more thought into this world than the author did.
An eagle kept in captivity is still just a bird in a cage
@@ygthemoth9425lol true 😂
And that happens when the author is two focused of the love story of her characters?
Like that is a really good question. Who is the diplomat? Who is the one who works her ass of while she flirts with her shadow daddy??!
the actual ruling is done by her guardians actually! Terra and Poppy, it's been mentioned a couple times. Surprisingly, that's one plot hole the author thought about..
I literally imagined Oro as an old man the entire time. It just kept becoming more and more uncomfortable lmao
oh yeah! it seems like i missed the part where his age was mentioned so i also imagined him as an old man like Gendalf😂
@@xsanderlyhe's...not gandalf aged? Dear god.
@@DarwinRoger893I’m not so sure now… I haven’t read the book and I’ve watched this video in parts, which took three days, so I might be mistaken🥲
Authors never wanna think about how periods work for their characters with wacky blood effects, and for that, they are all cowards.
taking “fire crotch” to a whole new level
@@REDACTEDboxoh the poor sunlings..
@@jaslikeart Does no one want to talk about the moonlings and their frozen crotches?
King: *coughs violently*
The people: "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!"
King: *gets papercut and starts a fire in the library*
Least insane monarch:
Sorry you said King, and I was thinking Stephen King and how hilarious it would be if he were to just absolutely roast the ever loving hell outta this novel.
Maybe Nightshade island is gone because Oro banged his shin on the coffee table once.
While there are many, many, many problems with the magic system in Lightlark, the one that strikes me as the most frustrating is the Wildling curse. The heart-eating aspect is dead in the water and only relevant for shock value and the Wildlings reputation, while the need to kill someone they love comes across as a contrived obstacle for the love triangle.
Since the connection to animals is never utilized, I think it would've been much stronger for the Wildling curse to be that their presence drives animals into a violent frenzy. Although the civilization of Lightlark is very poorly fleshed out, it seems likely that they would be dependent on animal power for agriculture, transport, etc. Magic can't replace everything.
In this way, giving the Wildlings a curse that makes them incompatible with wildlife could simplify the story without changing much. They could still be outcast and hated for disrupting the flow of every day life every time they get too close to work animals. It could explain their harsh training, which would be necessary to defend themselves against wild animals. Or you could go the other direction, creating a cultural belief that wildlings are too delicate to defend themselves. This could also add depth to the Wildling emphasis on natural beauty, functionally objectifying themselves as an attempt to prove some sense of worth. While I don't understand or like Oro, his motivation to protect Isla from beasts on the island can remain mostly unchanged.
It's pretty stupid that Isla's exempt from the blessing and curse, but even if you wanted to leave that in with these changes, why not make her an animal lover? It appeals to the audience, but it provides opportunities to create conflict between Isla's personal desires and the secrets she needs to uphold. For example, you could set up a scene where a stray animal approaches her with interest, but she has to shoo it away before someone realizes it's being friendly instead of violent.
Doubt anyone will read this but it's fun to talk (or type) these things through. Aster's complete disinterest in internal logic is simultaneously painful and my new favorite playground. Who knows, maybe I'll go off the deep end and try to write LarkLight, where I just try to fix everything I hate.
Finished the audiobook today after watching this video and honestly the entire thing is meh. I would have been pissed about the so called twist if I hadn’t known but honestly? It’s an average book, clearly written when she was younger without ever going through the proper editing channels or accepting any kind of criticism for it. I know that, because I have a shitty novel written from when I was in Sophomore year of high school that will never see the light of day because I was self aware and self critical enough to realize that it wasn’t good. That no amount of rewriting could fix the problems. So I plucked the characters I loved and put them in different settings with new characters to see how they react. Currently, I’m nearly 50k into this novel and loving it.
@@JuniBeeReads That's the same way I like to go about making characters and stories. I'm a comic book artist but I have all of my old sketchbooks dating back to freshman year of high school, and its kind of cool to see how some old characters got redesigned and changed into what they are now.
I always have a good time dissecting bad media and why it fails at its goals, but when the issues overlap like lightlark it definitely loses its appeal.
Anyway, good luck on your novel! It's always a good sign when an author (or any artist) has enough self awareness to reflect on problems in their own work 👍
I read it- and I think you make some really good points 😄
I recommend doing it as a writting exercise. I did it once for a movie I watched and hated, and it helped me improve my writing style.
@@vibesvibeman6722I do this as well, to an extent. I am an aspiring writer and Tabletop Role-playing NERD, so there have been many character concepts I've come up with before I knew how horrifically bad they were. However, I've kept most of them around and tuned them over time, so that they are much more rounded than the flat Mary-Sues they once were. Even characters I've based loosely on myself (my username being my longest running persona) I have tuned to be flawed people to help prevent that type of flippant criticism.
Aster never bragged about A movie. She bragged about an entire damn movie FRANCHISE 😂 I'm not kidding, I lost count of how many times she mentioned a "movie franchise by the producers of Twilight!" on her sm. BEFORE THE FIRST BOOK EVEN CAME OUT!
Damn I'm starting to feel a little bad for her for being such an unrealistic dreamer, as one myself.
Krimson single-handedly keeping Post-It and Staples in business.
Nah they would be fine. You will be surprised on how much it is still used.
Krimson and poorly written books
Imagine Krimson getting a t-shirt from Post-It and Dtapples for his million purchase
@@rizkyanandita8227 Really? I've been to every staples in the world and they all said the post-its were sold out because of him. Maybe it was just after he'd seen booktok.
I always find it weird when writers brag about how not a single reader guessed the twist in their story. If done right a plot twist consists of clues and foreshadowing throughout the story, the final piece given right before the reveal in the narrative so the reader can puzzle the whole thing together themselves and feel vindicated. Not just... not giving any information and being smug about it.
Like, I'd guessed the Celeste is the final boss twist, but only because "bff turns on the protagonist" is such a recurrent theme in female lead stories that the moment Isla and Celeste were described as "juming in a small cirkel, laughing" and "having slumber parties" I just knew.
i actually had said offhand to a friend of mine early on in the video that, had i written this story, i probably would've made poppy and terra the villains, and i REALLY don't like that that ended up being Not Wrong
Also, I feel like twists can have LAYERS to them, too!
Like, just using an example from a recent game I played with a friend: we KNEW from the start that there would be a twist with the mayor plotting something to take over the state and start some war shit, but what completely took us by surprise was that one of the guys we had basically blindly trusted was directly involved too, and you just stand there going "WHAT" about it, but the context is there, you just overlooked it because the mayor was such a giant fuckin foreshadowing curtain in your face!
Or another part where an unexpected party joins your team, and you KNOW he's hiding something. You think you know what it is only to have that completely subverted by the end. I fucking love that shit. You never quite know what to expect, but at the same time you don't feel like your intelligence is being insulted; the writers are just great at drawing your attention to one thing and then making you overlook other things.
That’s why I like the Alex Delaware novels. I like a good detective store where you’re worried about the characters and guessing who the killer is. But the twist makes sense
@@fallingstars5683 Ayo what the fuck?
@@LuneEvenfall Wow, the game sounds interesting. Mind telling it's name?
I'm self proclaimed an Annoyedling after this super dumber plot twist
As somebody who worked in a bookstore when lightlark came out, I promise you your book isn’t a dud. The curling on the edges was a HUGE problem we had with the books when we got them in on the trucks, and I also have never seen covers do that before or after those books were in the store. They were a nightmare to shelve without ripping too, all of us refused to buy it out of spite
I've had that happen to paperbacks, but afaik it only happened to the series I read a lot, even in the bathtub (and it shows 😂)
"An immortal Kung Fu Monkey; _weird,_ but there's something you could do with that"
This really do be a Journey To The West moment.
An immortal kung fu stone monkey even. Who fights god. But also wacky shinanigans.
I though the same XD
The whole description just sounds like the sum of every anime of the era.
@@marocat4749 add talking pig, demon that trying to become a good "person" and a priest too.
@@marctaco2624 i mean journey to the west was a massive source of inspiration for shonen anime
So Lightlark is basically the literary equivalent of when the Powerpuff Girls tried to make themselves a new sister by throwing everything they liked into a pot, only to come out of it with a deformed mess of a person no one really wanted to put up with?
And then blew up.
@@marctaco2624 poor bunny 😅
thats amazing
That is genuinely a great analogy
RIP Bunny
“Heart-Eater” deadass sounds like a slur 😂😂 it caught me off guard the first couple of times I’ve heard it in this video
With the hard R 🤣🤣
@@washingtonotters7816 yep 💀
I'm watching this video for the third or fourth time right now, and honestly it seems like "Hearteater" should _definitely_ be a derogatory term for Wildlings in this universe. Same with Isla calling Grim a "demon" after one of the demonstrations, since Nightshades have all sorts of creepy and infernal abilities.
The brooding loner love interests make me think back to Hunger Games, because Peeta wasn't that at all. He's just a sweet & kind boy who survives by hiding and being friendly. Actually having contrast between him and the other love interest who is a lot closer to Katniss in disposition makes things more engaging. It's not about the flavor of loner, but about choosing whether your partner is built similarly or as an opposite.
I'm not the only one who wanted to tear their hair out every time Aster started listing stuff about the realms, right? "The Sunbutts had X, the Moonlips had Y, the Borlings had Z." Infuriating.
I need to go to sleep because I lost it at “sunbutts.” Just glowing cheeks. No, not those cheeks. _Those_ cheeks. Holy shit. I just saw moonlips. Full lips. Wax lips. Okay, I seriously have to sleep
@@alexwyatt2911 "sunbutts". Those for whom 'the sun shines out of their arse' isn't just a turn of phrase
You don't see GRRM going "A trout for the Tully, a giant wolf for the Stark, a lion for the Lannister..."
It's exausting. And she keeps adding things, like the blood, to hammer home each realm's element. It's not even creative, it's exactly as one would expect. The characters feel like the fairies from that Barbie movie about a magic rainbow
Sunbutts made me pee myself
The sol-arse system
Weird thing I noticed that confused me: Wildlings supposedly wear cloths that emphasize their natural beauty so why would she roll her eyes or be aghast at revealing clothing? For her that should be the normal wardrobe and wouldn’t be anything of note it be like me being scandalized about getting a t shirt as a gift
Uh, because she's Not Like Other Girls 💁♀️
I remember looking at some passages describing the island of Lightlark, and it honestly sounded really cute and whimsical, houses held up by trees, quaint shops styled to look like teacups and chocolates, shimmering street lamps that attract fireflies... this revelation that she originally did fantasy for children makes it all click for me. I bet if she pivoted into writing short stories for kids, she'd be a lot more comfy than writing about sex and murder.
An author breaking the rules of their own universe for plot convenience would be like Hitchcock turning off gravity every time Stewart had vertigo.
“Gravity? Who gives a crap about gravity?”
"Do you believe in gravity?" @@laughingseagull000
The 'death tournament' is more of a talent show for rulers than anything else.
Yeah, this wasn't exactly Squid Game, the Hunger Games, or even the Tournament of Power.
And the Tournament of Power ends with all the universes restored.
Yeah, it's like if Hunger Games had the tournament just as the opening ceremony, interviews, and training scores. No arena, no fighting, just the set up with no pay off
Gotta have that tournament arc in your anime - I mean book. Anyone else get odd 'weeb' vibes from Lightlark characters? (I mean the author being kinda 'weeb')
New title: LightLark's Got Talent
Convinced that the author has never seen any sort of blade before. She cuts vegetables with a sharpened spork. Possibly, she's never seen metal before, either.
This comment is golden
@@raineatscheeseAster: "This comment is what?"
Man, it must be really tough for the skylings to be a democracy in a world where the ruler needs to have powers and those powers can only be passed through blood. If only the world had some sort... artifact that could pass a ruler's power on to someone else... some kind of... bond-maker if you will.
I can't be the only one who thinks it would make way more sense if the bond-maker was something invented by the skylings to facilitate their democracy, and Celeste/Aurora learned about it through there. In which case, she could have just encouraged Isla to do the whole "seduce Oro" plan that she needed in order for her plan to work while she got the bond-maker, 'cause if Oro doesn't fall in love with Isla, Celeste/Aurora doesn't get all the powers ever, which is why it makes no sense for her to tell Isla to ignore Oro and focus on getting the bond-breaker! I know this is off-topic from the original complaint, but can someone tell me what steps Celeste/Aurora took to make Oro fall in love with Isla?!
Based on what I've heard I'm guessing the Centennial is a place for a boring protagonist to hook up with fantasy kings that are 20+ times her age
It's just Love Island but with lives at stake
@deen7530 so love Island but good
So let me get this straight... the first page of this story STARTS with a protagonist with a questionably-unpronouncable name (unpronouncable because not even the book keeps it straight) using an item of unlimited magical teleportation with few restrictions on range and for no cost? And you're telling me this thing WON'T be solving all the problems?
**checks timestamp**
There's still SEVEN HOURS of review to look forward to?!
**straps self into cockpit**
My body and soul are ready.
*Irish names exist* (I had to say it because the top comment said unpronounceable 🤣 it was a reflex cuz I’ve Very used to people getting my name wrong. It’s why I’m called Grace online…also I couldn’t resist)
It's true, they do, but when the reader doesn't know how to pronounce Cú Chulainn or Siobhán (especially if some of the characters in the book don't either), you end up with what I like to call Hermione Syndrome: you can't tell me you knew how to pronounce that name when you read it the first time unless you knew someone with the name before reading it. And it was frustrating to me that everyone in the book knew how to pronounce it when I didn't. I felt I'd missed the explanation, even though there wasn't one.
It's just odd that even the name "Isla" is complicated for this particular book. It's like Aang's name (reading it without knowing how it's said in the cartoon, is it Ah-ng or Ay-ng?) Or is it said with a certain accent, like the name Hermes (reading it without knowing how it's said, is it Ehr-mez or Her-Meeze?)
Gotta make it clear. It helps for authors to say their characters' names out loud themselves, IMHO. Soon and often.
@@gracekim25 You're giving Aster too much credit by assuming she understands name conventions.
😂😂 this is hilarious and accurate to what we all felt. It's giving the eagles from LOR
@@birdjericho Aah, good old Hermyown. As an Aussie though, the name Isla is quite familar thanks to the actress Isla Fisher (aka Mrs Sasha Baron Cohan)
As for Hermes, in my mind the designer bags are "Er-mez", the Futurama character is "Her-meez"
“Spicy things aren’t stuff you’d usually find in a young adult novel.”
Sarah J Maas: “You are not prepared.”
I think Acotar is more new adult than YA
@@robertacivitiello1869 it is?😅
@@robertacivitiello1869 it was originally in young adult, winning at least two goodreads award for the YA section before being move to adult fantasy with new covers
I read the Throne of Glass series and I vividly remember the scene where Aelin hooks up on a beach, catches fire, and turns all the sand around them into glass.
@@deen7530 CATCHES FIRE
0_o
I think a good way to describe the lore and world building of the story that was said by another CZcamsr who reviewed this book is that it's a collection of Pinterest aesthetic images, it's just supposed to be very cool or pretty without much substance.
Me - “this 2 hour movie is too long” also me -“let’s watch this 7 hour video analysis of a book I refuse to read because of the reviews”
2:47:09 Every TTRPG player knows a story of a game master who really just should've written a book.
Aster is an author who really should've just ran a D&D campaign.
This is...the best description of this book honestly. Probably would've been a more enjoyable experience too!
@@maideninorange240 She has some interesting, if not particularly ground-breaking, ideas in her worldbuilding. If the world of Lightlark and the concept of the centennial was pitched to me as a D&D campaign to join, I would probably be decently enthusiastic to create a character with the theming and basic building blocks given, and use the societies and aesthetics to create something of my own, influenced by those things but not defined solely by them.
Alex is not. She's clearly very interested in worldbuilding, and good at creating complications and rough plot beats, but isn't interested in how to solve them or in building characters within the societies she sets out for herself. Isla effortlessly conquers every obstacle because Aster wants to move on to the next description, worldbuilding element, cool challenge, and not linger in what the choices and actions of the characters mean so they barely make any.
She genuinely seems like she'd have decent chops as a homebrew DM, or at least as a campaign setting writer if she lacks improv skill, but her lack of interest in narrative moment to moment and in fleshing out characters dooms her as an author in the genre she's trying to establish herself in.
@@aurora5481 Honestly, you summed up Ms. Aster really well with that, and that's been my takeaway from this whole book. She has some interesting ideas, but none of the skills to properly make use of them. At least not in the form of a book.
It definitely would make for a fun campaign as long as the DM knows what they are doing, since this plot screams that it would work best with others to drive itself forward, and not just the will of the author. In it's current form, it just feels very clunky at best and downright inconsistent at worst. What a shame, since I really like the concept of a whole society being forced to adapt to a curse and would've loved to see it explored further.
@@aurora5481 she'd be better off teaming up with someone who hates world building but has great prose while being a realist to prune things.
@@ayajade6683 If what you mean is a ghostwriter, then yes. Because no author in the world looking to make a name for themselves are going to split the credits with someone who just had ideas for a neat world and left them to do 90% of the rest of the work.
As a hobby writer myself, I think of writing as the study of everything. There's a saying "Don't make characters who are smarter than you", which I think is just off base; It should be "Don't make a character who knows more than you." You can make a character smarter than you, by just having them put the pieces of a problem together faster than you would have done it. If you make a character that knows more than you, you have to make stuff up, and you run the risk that whatever you make up will actually be stupid. When writing a character, who was a heart surgeon, I read a bunch of medical text books, so that I could make sure that he knew what he was talking about, and knew what he was doing, whenever he did something related to his job. I still remember some stuff from reading about a double by-pass surgery, though only enough to know how to kill the patient faster.
This 🙌
YESSS
as long as you know what pieces your character is putting together, even if you wouldn't put them together fast or at all, then you're good. If it's sound logic and you know what you're working on.
I was writing a fic where a character figured out that she was dead and was kind of a clone situation in about ten seconds flat after gaining consciousness, and could I do something like that? eff no, but she did have the information required to figure it out, and was a really smart character so I let her.
The only thing preventing you from writing a book like this is having extremely rich parents.
People actually say that???? Nah.. How boring would death note have been if the characters weren't smarter than the writers I'm-
This author is in no fear of writing a character smarter than herself, if that is even possible.
58:48 You gotta love how, almost as soon as the heart thing is introduced, Aster tries to handwave the moral implications away by saying "Oh, everyone who got their heart eaten by wildlings totally deserved it! They were evil people trying to steal their precious gems!" nevermind the fact that we just learn that wildlings just see those same gems as pretty rocks because they're so plentiful on their land. There's not even a thing where they feel a cultural connection to them as a reminder of the days before the curses when the wildlings were apparently super powerful.
Does Isla or anyone else ever take a moment to question whether Terra is wrong in her assessment that everyone whose hearts her people eat are evil and stupid thieves? Like, maybe there could have been some travellers who got lost or stranded who were mistaken for thieves? Or maybe asking if the thieves weren't desperate in people trying to get out of a bad situation by taking some of these gems that are considered to just be rocks to wildlings anyway? Or hell, we learn in the sequel that slavery exists in the Lightlark universe, so does anyone ask if the thieves couldn't have been slaves made to steal the gems by the people who were actually gonna profit off of them?
There is something to be said about having your main character come from a people that does such a taboo thing as eat the hearts of other humans for sustenance, and then make said main character the only one who doesn't do that, but to then also try and soften the impact of the whole heart eating by trying to justify it through villainizing the victims of it? If Aster was uncomfortable with the implications of eating human hearts that much, maybe she just shouldn't have put it in her story? Or was she just really attached to the aesthetics of eating hearts? I mean, considering that Grim is one of the love interests and he seems more like he should be a parody of an edgy dark love interest than taken seriously... It's all just so juvenile that it wouldn't surprise if this was the same story she tried to get published when she was 12 and she has done nothing to change or revise it in the years since then.
Perusing your older content, I am so impressed this video has nearly a million views. For a 7 hour video, that's incredible. A testament to your ability to entertain as well as your ability to turn mistakes into opportunities to educate. It's genuinely so helpful for my easily distracted brain.
Same though. I couldn’t handle 1 hour long videos yesterday but here I am watching a 7 hour long video 3 hours in😭
Concerning the rags to riches story she touts, it has to be stated that her parents own one of the biggest and most successful car dealerships in the country and both she and her sister grew up being in their commercials. The loan you mention her sister got to start Newsette came from her parents. Alex received a similar loan herself. There’s also the fact she treats this book as her debut when this is her third trad pub book.
its not rags to riches at all. but she did become famous on tiktok by her own savvy. and that's what made her successful. her first two books were only picked up because of the "latinx" fantasy angle. it was a diversity publish. it went nowhere. the author smartly pivoted away from that.
Of COURSE it was some upper class type claiming to be "rags to riches". The fact that this video keeps getting weird comments from a barebones blank channel seemingly humblebragging and supporting the author's decisions also makes one activate the almonds on just how massive of an ego is involved here.
all that money and they never thought to get some creative writing classes 😭
@@noneofurbulllllll I think it may also be a case of not reading enough novels herself. To be a good writer, you have to be a good reader.
This book is so densely packed with information and lore that it feels like Aster accidentally published a fandom wikia instead of a book
fr. its overthinking and underwriting but also _underthinking_ and _overwriting_ at the same time. reminds me of the """fantasy novel""" i was writing when i was younger. got so tangled up in the lore and drawing maps nobody would ever see i didn't write more than like 60 pages in the _six years_ i actively tried to work on it, and i never even figured out a plot to write! it was all worldbuilding and creating characters who then did nothing! how stupid is that?
i mean, what's the point in creating a universe that you don't tell stories in? how is it interesting to hear about a stagnant, intricate-on-the-surface world where _nothing_ is happening and the "main character" is so bland they're barely even flour needed to make the proverbial white bread??? you're not writing a textbook, or a brochure, you're writing a goddamn novel! the story should be the main focus, the rest is set dressing
@@ps1hagridoufofcharacter It's not stupid if you're having fun worldbuilding I suppose :)
@@__a_4444 that's true! it _can_ be very fun in itself, it just probably won't spawn the novel i set out for haha
@@ps1hagridoufofcharacter SAME... listening to the plot of this book was giving me flashbacks to the bloated novel i tried to write for most of my teenage years.
@@__a_4444 It's stupid if your main intention is to write a story. If you only intend to worldbuild, then ofc that's fine
It reminds me a lot of Divergent. Factions who wear different a specific colors, and personalities based on where they are born. Even the fear trial also happens. I haven't read Lightlark but everything I hear about it reminds me of another book
Most underrated joke of the video is "Please send all hate mail to:" and it being the IRS LMFAO
Re: the dressmaking scene.
I'm a dressmaker and there is a precedent for draping the clothing directly on the person who will wear it. However, it is of course done with a lot of care and there are still trial-and-error steps where you take the fabric off, assemble it, test the fit again, and so forth. Making a dress (especially a fitted one like Isla's) is a complex endeavor. If the Starling magic is purely about telekinesis, there's no way a regular human being could keep track of all of those components simultaneously, especially without accidentally stabbing the client with needles.
But then, having the magic handle all of that could also explain how a society of only young people can manage the expertise necessary to have master tailors. Remember, this dude also can't be older than 25. You can find a few master tailors or dressmakers at that age, but they are rare, and they're not going to get there without plenty of older masters to learn from.
As for a technical quibble, she mentions that the dress has a built-in corset, but it's also implied to be made of nothing but fabric and ribbon. Corsets by definition are a structured bodice that use a strong, inflexible layer of fabric (the satiny stuff mentioned does not qualify) supported by boning (flexible steel is the common modern choice for boning). It's *possible* that the boning and strength fabric just wasn't mentioned, but given the amount of detail given to the rest of the garment, it seems a large oversight to me. But my secondary specialty is corsetry, so I'm inclined to pay attention to those details.
As I'm continuing, the commentary on Starling's "unparalleled metalwork" is also a huge problem when they can't live past 25. The early death curse is terrifying on a personal level, but the story could have so much potential by exploring how it upends the civilization that endures it. So many traditions lost, a society that once created great things but now barely gets by. Think of how the Lord of the Rings contrasts recent crafts with high Numenorean skill, but even more intense. That's what Starling craft should be like.
I mean there are corsets that are structured through cords. But they wouldn't have been very ... aesthetic. Corded corsets were definitely only underwear because the cords were very near to each other.
Oooh I love when experts come to pick apart bad descriptions and explain the actual process. Thanks!