LGBTQ Meeting the Family | Happiest Season Review
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- čas přidán 5. 09. 2024
- Communicating with your partner about their family and friends (and setting boundaries) can be really intimidating. Watch this video to learn from our mistakes and gain some courage! Oh yeah, and we review Happiest Season (there are some spoilers- watch at your own risk!).
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My biggest issue with Harper was not that she was closeted, it was that even by the metric of Abby being her "roommate" she treated Abby terribly. You don't invite someone to your family's home for the holidays and then abandoned them at parties where they know no one, or pawn them off of your sister (who you don't even get along with). You don't hang out with your high school friends until two in the morning without them. You try to make them feel included. I don't have a lot of family and have actually been lucky to be invited to spend holidays with various friends and their families, and I have never had anyone treat me the way Harper treated Abby. I wouldn't have put up with Harper's behavior from a completely platonic friend, I certainly wouldn't put up with it from a romantic partner.
Exactly
You guys pointed out the biggest issue a lot of us had with Happiest Season - the character of Harper is so unlikeable it’s hard to root for the Abby-Harper ship. Everyone liked Riley better. However, the movie has several good scenes and it’s awesome to see a holiday romcom movie with lesbian main characters.
Harper's open denial of their relationship and her sexuality was extremely painful to watch, and that is the reason why Riley seemed like a more compatible match for Abby.
Honesty and communication are critical elements. As with the case of Abby and Harper in Happiest Season, when honesty and communication are absent the relationship can begin to break down and end quickly.
No, Abby should be single instead. I don’t really the reason why, Abby should end up with Riley. Beside Harper is a terrible person and girlfriend.
Plus, I saw nothing to suggest they were into each other and plus they. Hardly know each other as they only knew, each other for a few days ago.
I wish I had seen this video long ago. I now see through your discussion what went wrong in my situations like this, and I begin to understand how to know my feelings and communicate them in a respectful and kind way. Thank you.
Great video! I agreed with everything you mentioned and loved how you broke down how all the issues could have been handled in a more healthy way. Yet, I do understand how this film could easily happen in real life. Our upbringing really influences us on a deeper level that we often don’t realize until we see the issues start to arise. That “perfect family” perfectionist, competitive family dynamic set the stage for that selfish and narcissistic behavior. I myself have been realizing the trouble my “people pleasing” upbringing has caused in my own happiness. It’s all about being able to recognize and address the issues hopefully before they cause harm. Keep up the good work ladies!
actually a very helpful video. not dealing with any of this personally bc i know better, but this outlines good ways of thinking about these issues to maintain healthy relationships and deal with conflict in a way where you can recognise feelings your partner or you yourself might be feeling that are directly related to you/your actions and the ones not related to you. helps not to take things personally and keep a good outside perspective on the situation
Although I didn’t think the movie was a huge waste of time, I stepped away feeling sort of meh about it. There were also some stereotypes that were played into. I thought Aubrey plaza as Riley, and Mary Holland as Jane, really stole the show.
Initially I thought that Harper was shallow and vapid. Asking someone to go back into the closet even if only temporarily is very difficult. But in the movie, Abby does agree to go along. You mention this as well. Setting your personal boundaries is key. It took me a long time to become comfortable in my own skin, to become honest with myself and those I love. And, to set boundaries with which I am comfortable.
When you are able to be more honest with yourself and others you can live your life more authentically. To be more you. If people don’t love you for who you are, it’s okay to stay connected, but you know how close to allow them to come to you and your partner. Honor your own feelings, set healthy boundaries, I promise it gets easier each time you do it. Sounds easy, but it’s a journey, I still struggle. And another quick thought about honesty, when you’re not honest, you actually deny people the opportunity to get to know you. You take it out of their hands, you’ve already decided that you know how they’ll respond. There have been some pleasant surprises in my life, and times when people have said, ‘I’ve thought about what you said and realize I was wrong”. Not a lot, but still!
Okay, and in the movie there were a lot of red flags, I probably wouldn’t have gone in the first place, but I sure would have left a lot sooner.
What I really appreciate about your videos is talking about how important communication is, the genuine concern in how you talk about it. It’s not always easy. Just hearing someone say these things gives everyone hope and helps them to know just how normal they are. We all have similar struggles whether you’re queer or straight or otherwise. The struggle is real, gah!!
I find myself looking forward to Sundays and your videos. keep up the good work ladies.
I don’t think that Harper was put Abby back in the closet, Harper was put and hiding herself in the closet.
Haven't seen the film yet, but heard and read enough reviews to understand the storyline.
Your review was the best I heard so far and it totally confirms my view of the storyline. Many were mad on Harper for acting this way or calling it an outdated coming out story. I basically see it as a film about communication snd non-communication. This just shows how important communication is within a relationship and to set priorities.
What i've learned from this video is that i am a very harsh and insensitive person, thanks.
Now I understand why people had those reactions after we'd met.
Thank you for righting all of the wrongs of that movie. This is the best thing to come out of that experience and so helpful to me - a person who is still working on figuring out communication and boundaries.
You ladies are so wise. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💕 Wish this video was made many years ago. ☺️. I hope many, many people see this now and in the future. Spot on and Well done. 👍
The movie is not perfect. But it's relatable. And that's what made it effective. I love Abby & Harper. ❤ Yes, Harper had so many flaws but that doesn't mean her feelings are invalid. There are a lot of people who identifies with her and that's real. Anyways, I love your take on the storyline. There's gotta be a sequel so we can discuss more about it! Lol! 😅
Loved it ladies!! Awesome video for sure.. You two are so great!! There were interesting points you two made.. And looking forward to watching Happiest Season later.. You two gave cool reviews.. So thanks for everything.. Much love to you both.. Stay sweet and keep on rockin!!
First, shout out to H & S's Book Shop link.
I have purchased several books through it and the prices are competitive and the shipping very quick. I am happy with my purchases and Book Shop's customer service. And I like supporting independent book stores whenever I can.
Second, I agree completely about boundaries. Boundaries are about love and respect and caring for yourself and others. Also agree about knowing what and what we aren't responsible for. I am responsible for myself and my actions. I can't control how others feel or react. Certainly, my actions can help or not help or exacerbate how another feels, but that is not in my control. Ultimatums aren't helpful. Boundaries are. It's complicated and hard to sum up in a few sentences.
Finally, I agree that continuing communication is the key for a healthy, successful relationship, full stop. All relationships but especially one with a partner.
Thanks Hannah and Sadie for another great video!
A good and healthy relationship needs open and honest communication and your advice and explanations were gold and so good so thank you for this loved it.
Another great video you guys are so amazing
I suppose the same drama is repeated in other situations, such as with skin color, religion, politics. I wonder until when? And that we are going towards the fourth part of the 21st century, imagine what other people went through 100 or 150 years ago! I just finished Ammonite, where there is another story, other dramas, another very different time. In those times it was logical that there was no happy ending, women were "a man thing" but today! There are several with "happy ending", my favorite is "Kiss Mig" Regards from way down south :)
Big big hugs 🤗🙏😍🎁🎄🎅🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 Love you girls thanks for sharing. Marry marry Christmas. And all that.
You guys should let the puppy walk around 😆
Your both beautiful hope you both have have a great beautiful Christmas love you Hannah and,sadie awesome video
So, it’s La Cage aux Folles/The Bird Cage, with women. Seen the play, the original film, and the Robin Williams remake, so I’m good.
Team corduroy !
Hey loved jane. Loved she wrote a book that saved her family. Loved jane. Regardless
And now, the opinion no one asked for. The one from the straight guy.
As someone who has never had to do this, I have mixed feelings about Harper. After meeting her family, seeing Jane’s constant grabs for attention and validation, seeing the sibling rivalry with Sloan, and her parents, I understand why someone like Harper would have trouble coming out. I also think Harper did treat Abby as an afterthought at times. I think in the car ride, they should have had some discussion about rules and boundaries. Of course, that might take away from the fight at the end.
While I get everyone saying Riley would have been better for Abby, I disagree. Their relationship is important to the movie, but I think it’s more of a therapist/patient relationship. Riley is the one person who knows what Abby is dealing with, and the only person Abby can actually be open with. It leads to a good friendship, but I don’t know if it could be more.
I did feel bad for Harper at the end when Sloan outs her at the party. Obviously, Abby feels rejected, and rightfully so. But, Harper, in front of, basically the whole town, is in an absolute lose/lose situation. If I was in that situation, I can’t say I might not do the same thing. I have absolutely no idea. I just felt bad for her at that moment.
While the movie was fine as a cookie cutter romance, I thought it was set up almost perfectly to have a discussion on toxic relationahips. We see that Hapers parents withheld and gave affection based on their children meeting expectations they had for them, and they could have shown Harper doing the same to Abby.
I think adding a short scene at the beginning where we see Abby at their appartment making a reservation at a super swanky ultra exclusive very hard to get into restaurant because she wants to do something special with her girlfriend before Harper goes away to be with her family for the Holiday. Then Haper gets home from her work, Abby tells her about the reservation, and Harper says "I'm tired I'm just going to go to bed" because she doesn't want to go to the restaurant, so Abby suggests the holiday tour, and since Harper loves everything holiday related, she gives Abby a big affectionate hug and says yes, then we continue right where the movie began with them on the tour.
When audiences first see this scene it won't seem all that out of the ordinary; but as the movie progress' we can understand it in the context that when Abby made the reservation that didn't interest Harper, she withheld her affection. But when Abby agreed to do the holiday tour that Harper knew would make Abby sad (because of her parents death), Harper gives her affection. We can make this connection because we see the parents doing exactly this to their kids.
Then in the parking lot scene at the end, if they go with Abby taking back Harper, they could add in her making a demand that if they get back together then Harper needs to go to couples therapy with Abby. And then in the slide show they put in at the end they could show Abby learning to be more assertive with what she needs in the relationahip, and Harper learning to be responsive to her partners needs and not to only her own through that therapy.
Haven't seen the film yet but I will and that's because of Kristen Stewart ! Thank you for your review it was a help ! Am a fan of Christmas movies be they Hallmark or Lifetime but especially when the gay community is included ! Nobody seem to like Harper at all from all that I've read . And I can see that neither of you guys liked her either ! What are some of your favorites lesbian movies ? One of my mind right now is The Glass Room ( English subtitles ) !
Great job!
I think Abby should be single instead, I don’t really the reason why Abby should end up with Riley, beside Harper is a terrible person and girlfriend.
Plus, I saw nothing to suggest they were into each other and plus they. Hardly know each other as they only knew, each other for a few days ago.
Exactly, I totally agreed.
We watched the movie as well I love Kirsten Stewart like yous I was slightly disappointed, if you are looking for a good movie to watch check out ......... More Beautiful For Having Been Broken (Director Cut) the story sucks you in and that little boy was a gem and how the 2 woman fall in love is so genuine. I love both of you ladies I love how Hannah hangs on your every word Sadie I look forward to your videos.. Hannah when you and Sadie were split up for the month is your videos of you singing still on and if so where can I find them....... I love listening to you both singing stay safe love and look after each other Roberta from Scotland 🏴xx
I watched because my girlfriend wanted me to watch it with her. I would not have watched it otherwise. I am not a fan of Kristen Stewart as an actress. She has played these waffley timid passive aggressive roles that toy with the other character's emotions. I did not like the Happiest Season on its own merits. Predictable toxicity. Abby should have left Harper and been with Riley. Abby also should have spoken up for herself. I didn't respect or like many of the characters in the show.