If a Monopoly movie happened, it would have to be at least 5 hours long, and the ending would be everyone deciding that they don't want to keep going any more so let's just say that the plot with the most screentime wins.
My friend and I went to go see battleship a few days after its release, and we were alone in the theater. A man came in once, then quickly left in the middle of the movie. Easily the worst movie I've seen in awhile.
cabin in the woods is amazing! I loved it and thought it WAS original and clever, such a joy to watch and it was very funny. I was gonna answer your question but I dont understand what you mean.
Battleship was not that horrible. Jack and Jill, OTOH……… John Carter is not that bad I thought 2012, which some people think is dreadful, might be listed.
God, I love Wittertainment. Not missed a podcast or broadcast in 8 years. My only disappointment with this video, and it is the only disappointment - no Danny Dyer impression !!!! Don't let your fans down Mark !!
John Carter wasn't a terrible film in the same way that Waterworld wasn't a terrible film. They both had huge overblown budgets but since I wasn't paying I didn't care. John Carter was pretty meh but it was inoffensive and killed a couple of hours. Forgettable sure, but I wouldn't have it in my worst of list.
Prometheus is quite good, during the first half. Then it's just a rehash borrowing heavily from the first and third Alien films. It's just undeniable. Noomi as Ripley. Typical Hollywood treatment. The cast is great and the visuals are amazing. But clearly the screenwriters just used what worked in the past films. Love Michael Fassbender's accent, though =p
Really not sure why the Good Dr has W.E. at number 5. I actually really enjoyed this film. The film DIDN'T ask us to feel sympathy for Nazi sympathisers, but actually showed what happened in a love affair and why Edward had to give up the throne. The film did not attempt to explain or rationalise their Nazi sympathies or ask us to forgive them for it.
To you perhaps ;-). Just because you didn't get it or like it dosen't mean it made no sense, simply that those films were clearly pitched above your head. Prometheus is hard work granted and has some ropey charachterisation in places. Dark Knight Rises however made perfect sense to anyone that was paying attention, and its only serious flaw is perhaps a little too much Bruce Wayne time in the middle. Seriously what was so hard to follow in that film?
Lynn Collins wears a dress that Princess Leia would KILL to be seen in. For this reason alone John Carter enters Top 100 territory. ...Oh yes, I am shallow as fuck.
People saying Prometheus should be on this list can´t eb serious! The list this man made is full of mediocre films, he did great. Prometheus is faaaar from being mediocre. In fact it was great even if it was all over the place in some aspects
Prometheus was a good film. Unfortunately people these days want all questions answered immediately. Watch one of the explanation films on here if you couldn't get your head round it. The original Alien film had just as many unanswered questions, but fortunately there wasn't an internet at the time for clamouring idiots going 'eh?' 'eh?'
Couldn't agree with you more. Hell, the blue-collar workers in Alien were brighter than the apparently smartest people in Prometheus (not counting David).
He's a movie critic, a professional one at that. Making comments about his age is childish and irrelevant. I don't always agree with him but i still respect his reviews.
Wow...that was probably one of the best Worst films lists ever complied. Even the films I didn't see on this list made me hate them just by those short clips!
I never subjected myself to That's My Boy or Project X, so here's my list. 10 - To Rome with Love 9 - Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D 8 - The Campaign 7 - Rise of the Guardians 6 - Ice Age: Continental Drift 5 - Friends with Kids 4 - Cloud Atlas 3 - Smiley 2 - House at the End of the Street 1 - Piranha 3DD
It's really a shame Taylor Kitsch's career hasn't gone anywhere good at all since Friday Night Lights. It's been a while, but I really don't remember him being awful in that. But Battleship, ugh.
Wow Doc, you have it wrong there on John Carter. It wasn't great but it wasn't that bad either. I bet you compare it to all the other genre films of the year and it would be counted amongst the best.
Im not going to bother explaining everything that is wrong with that statement but I am going to explain that Every single movie has plot holes and mistakes and flaws but good characters setting and directing can make you forget. If people pointed out that Prometheus was bad because the characters were bland or Ridley Scott did a poor job with the mise en scene, I would say fair enough. But people insist on bitching about how they got lost and that's where I call shenanigans.
Why do people always put movies like John Carter and Battleship into these compilations? It is like complaining that the cheese sandwhich you had for lunch wasn't as good as the 5 star dinner you had last night. These are fluff movies, eye candy, something so people can go...look at the shiny shiny. Was looking at the shiny shiny distracting for a couple of hours....yes. Did the movies therefore fulfil their objectives...yes.
I've never even heard of Keith Lemon. Guess that MIGHT be lucky for us folks over here in America. Surprised Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance and A Thousand Words didn't make the cut.
(10) Gone (09) The Experiment Who's Watching You? (08) Life Of Pi. I disagree on Keith 🍋 The Film Though saw a bit of Jack And Jill on ITV 2 and changed the channel
Three movies don't belong on your list. You obviously didn't "get" Piranha 3DD. It was exactly the movie they meant to make -- a send up of the 80's horror movies. With that in mind, it was a fun comedy. Battleship was not great cinema, but it was a lot of fun...assuming you didn't have a stick up yer butt. And John Carter was great. Worth watching over and over, in fact. If not for the marketing mistakes, I guaranty we'd be watching a sequel this year. Ta-ta
John Carter was awesome. I love it. Doesn't belong on the bottom 10. And I disagree about Taylor Kitsch. He does have charisma. Admittedly, Battleship was pretty stupid. But I still think there were much worse movies this year.
I've been buying a lot of DVD movies lately in the cheap movie sections b/c usually any movie is pretty good in my 51 yrs of experience. However, I end up with some horrible movies mostly made by BBC Films and/or with British actors/actresses. These movies are absolutely the worst movies I have ever seen. The Brits are great at a lot of things, especially singing - Elton John, Beatles & many others, but they are terrible at making movies, or at least the ones I have seen.
I did not too badly this year. The only two of these sh*tholes that I saw were John Carter and Gambit. Thanks Kermode. ...But you DID recommend Prometheus...
he's just a guy with an opinion, and what is wrong with black and white films. Im 27 and I enjoy watching movies from the 80s and even the 30s (one of my favourite movies is the 1935 version of "The Raven" with Bela Lugosi) so whats your point?
John Carter and Battleship? Nonsense. Flawed for sure but the former was great storytelling and the latter just great for kids. The rest I have no particular argument with.
John Carter and Piranha 3DD were indeed dreadful, dreaful films. I haven't seen any of the others on that list. Of the ones I have seen this year Prometheus was one of the worst, its woeful science was unforgivable to me. The Man With the Iron Fists was also pathetic. As too was The Dark Knight Rises. I hated it for the reason Kermode hated Gambit, that with all the talent behind it it was such a major fail. Total Recall and The Expendables 2 were also terrible.
I hardly watch any new movies, so maybe I'm not as picky as some when I do see something. I liked John Carter, it had a lot of heart, and was pretty weird. I thought it was pretty gutsy, but I liked Waterworld too.
I'd rewatch John Carter a few weeks ago and to be honest, it's actually not that bad and certainly it didn't to deserve to be a box office bomb. Let's wait to be wowed by Star Trek into Darkness.
If a Monopoly movie happened, it would have to be at least 5 hours long, and the ending would be everyone deciding that they don't want to keep going any more so let's just say that the plot with the most screentime wins.
I feel cheated that we never got a proper review of That's My Boy, but grateful that it failed to break the top 10.
"What could be worse than a film with Adam Sandler in it?" - Adam Sandler is in Punch-Drunk Love, which is awesome!
Reign Over Me was decent too, as was The Wedding Singer.
JDINCINERATOR and now Uncut Gems
The Meyerowitz Stories is also rad
Yes the films that don’t exist as vacation shoots for Adam Sandler and his friends can be good
Kermode opens every Sandler review with how much he liked Punch-Drunk Love.
That Keith Lemon trailer at the end looked absolutely hilarious. Like a fake movie inside a movie
that tree behind him is the worst Christmas tree of all time
I feel violated seeing that little clip of Keith Lemon the movie. And I fit in the target market of the film with being 17 years old.
That 'doo-doo' joke was clever
I haven't seen any of these movies and I wouldn't have even known about most of them if it hadn't been for Mark's reviews.
My friend and I went to go see battleship a few days after its release, and we were alone in the theater. A man came in once, then quickly left in the middle of the movie. Easily the worst movie I've seen in awhile.
john carter was not that bad haha
Why is Hollywood solidly making BAD movies one after another?
WHY!?
WHY/!
Always a pleasure to hear the good Doctor.
Bottom 10 worst cardigans of 2012 - here is Mark Kermode with his entry.
The ending was great :D I haven't seen John Carter but I doubt it's worse than Keith Lemon: The Film.
cabin in the woods is amazing! I loved it and thought it WAS original and clever, such a joy to watch and it was very funny. I was gonna answer your question but I dont understand what you mean.
Jack and Jill came out in 2012 in the UK in the cinema
Love these reviews! So much comedy and insight. The only thing I don't like is spitting out precious beer when laughing....
That top spot...glad not every film makes it overseas.
WOAH WHERE THE HELL WAS TAKEN 2! You guys slated it when it came out!
Hey, I found a mistake in your video!
At number 8, you put Battleship, isn't that meant to be put in The 10 Best Films of 2012?
It was. But it wasn't released in the UK until February 3rd 2012.
Battleship was not that horrible.
Jack and Jill, OTOH………
John Carter is not that bad
I thought 2012, which some people think is dreadful, might be listed.
Red Tails was THE worst thing I saw this year...it is near impossible to sit thru.
God, I love Wittertainment. Not missed a podcast or broadcast in 8 years.
My only disappointment with this video, and it is the only disappointment - no Danny Dyer impression !!!!
Don't let your fans down Mark !!
shhh don't you know David Cronenberg is an ARTIST. He could throw poop at a white board and some critics will still claim it to be a masterpiece.
LMAO - John Carter was supplanted by something that looked ostensibly worse :D
John Carter wasn't a terrible film in the same way that Waterworld wasn't a terrible film. They both had huge overblown budgets but since I wasn't paying I didn't care. John Carter was pretty meh but it was inoffensive and killed a couple of hours. Forgettable sure, but I wouldn't have it in my worst of list.
There's a shot of the films poster with the release date printed too....
Prometheus is quite good, during the first half. Then it's just a rehash borrowing heavily from the first and third Alien films. It's just undeniable. Noomi as Ripley. Typical Hollywood treatment. The cast is great and the visuals are amazing. But clearly the screenwriters just used what worked in the past films. Love Michael Fassbender's accent, though =p
Am I the only one that actually enjoyed John Carter?
Really not sure why the Good Dr has W.E. at number 5. I actually really enjoyed this film. The film DIDN'T ask us to feel sympathy for Nazi sympathisers, but actually showed what happened in a love affair and why Edward had to give up the throne. The film did not attempt to explain or rationalise their Nazi sympathies or ask us to forgive them for it.
To you perhaps ;-). Just because you didn't get it or like it dosen't mean it made no sense, simply that those films were clearly pitched above your head.
Prometheus is hard work granted and has some ropey charachterisation in places.
Dark Knight Rises however made perfect sense to anyone that was paying attention, and its only serious flaw is perhaps a little too much Bruce Wayne time in the middle. Seriously what was so hard to follow in that film?
Lovely, sweet, clever, stylish, hilarious, stimulating Mark Von Kermode!
Lynn Collins wears a dress that Princess Leia would KILL to be seen in. For this reason alone John Carter enters Top 100 territory.
...Oh yes, I am shallow as fuck.
People saying Prometheus should be on this list can´t eb serious! The list this man made is full of mediocre films, he did great. Prometheus is faaaar from being mediocre. In fact it was great even if it was all over the place in some aspects
Ouch! Don't do that again you silly man. We could have lost many further years of wit.
Prometheus was a good film. Unfortunately people these days want all questions answered immediately. Watch one of the explanation films on here if you couldn't get your head round it. The original Alien film had just as many unanswered questions, but fortunately there wasn't an internet at the time for clamouring idiots going 'eh?' 'eh?'
Couldn't agree with you more. Hell, the blue-collar workers in Alien were brighter than the apparently smartest people in Prometheus (not counting David).
He's a movie critic, a professional one at that. Making comments about his age is childish and irrelevant. I don't always agree with him but i still respect his reviews.
Wow...that was probably one of the best Worst films lists ever complied. Even the films I didn't see on this list made me hate them just by those short clips!
Couldn't the makers of Devil Inside have used the INXS song of that name over the end credits?
People are too harsh on John Carter
I never subjected myself to That's My Boy or Project X, so here's my list.
10 - To Rome with Love
9 - Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D
8 - The Campaign
7 - Rise of the Guardians
6 - Ice Age: Continental Drift
5 - Friends with Kids
4 - Cloud Atlas
3 - Smiley
2 - House at the End of the Street
1 - Piranha 3DD
Wow that bit with the oxford dictionaries could have given him a blood clot, then again so could 30 seconds of Keith lemon.
It's really a shame Taylor Kitsch's career hasn't gone anywhere good at all since Friday Night Lights. It's been a while, but I really don't remember him being awful in that. But Battleship, ugh.
Why don't you do a Top 10 best list f 2012?
Wasn't jack and jill from 2011?
The UK release date says February 2012.
Wow Doc, you have it wrong there on John Carter. It wasn't great but it wasn't that bad either. I bet you compare it to all the other genre films of the year and it would be counted amongst the best.
Old people really shouldn't judge.
I
Im not going to bother explaining everything that is wrong with that statement but I am going to explain that Every single movie has plot holes and mistakes and flaws but good characters setting and directing can make you forget. If people pointed out that Prometheus was bad because the characters were bland or Ridley Scott did a poor job with the mise en scene, I would say fair enough. But people insist on bitching about how they got lost and that's where I call shenanigans.
Why do people always put movies like John Carter and Battleship into these compilations? It is like complaining that the cheese sandwhich you had for lunch wasn't as good as the 5 star dinner you had last night. These are fluff movies, eye candy, something so people can go...look at the shiny shiny.
Was looking at the shiny shiny distracting for a couple of hours....yes. Did the movies therefore fulfil their objectives...yes.
At number one - the only film to get zero percent on Rotten Tomatoes.
im sure he didnt want to go and watch it in the cinema. so he waited for it to come out on dvd to watch it. it came out on dvd in 2012.
John Carter worse than That's My Boy, Jack and Jill, and Battleship? You're way off, Mark.
I've never even heard of Keith Lemon. Guess that MIGHT be lucky for us folks over here in America. Surprised Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance and A Thousand Words didn't make the cut.
OF MARS!
(10) Gone (09) The Experiment Who's Watching You? (08) Life Of Pi. I disagree on Keith 🍋 The Film Though saw a bit of Jack And Jill on ITV 2 and changed the channel
Three movies don't belong on your list. You obviously didn't "get" Piranha 3DD. It was exactly the movie they meant to make -- a send up of the 80's horror movies. With that in mind, it was a fun comedy. Battleship was not great cinema, but it was a lot of fun...assuming you didn't have a stick up yer butt. And John Carter was great. Worth watching over and over, in fact. If not for the marketing mistakes, I guaranty we'd be watching a sequel this year.
Ta-ta
5:54 that’s how why’s I feel about nostalgia critic review of Jurassic World
And no Twilight on this list. Bella = Ripley? Seriously Mark?
John Carter was awesome. I love it. Doesn't belong on the bottom 10. And I disagree about Taylor Kitsch. He does have charisma. Admittedly, Battleship was pretty stupid. But I still think there were much worse movies this year.
didn't do the Danny Dyer voice, I am disappointed.
Jack and Jill is a 2011 movie. That does not count for this year
People also forget that even the scientists in Alien were idiots (except for Ripley). :/
My thoughts exactly, Mr. Kermode. I was really disappointed by Gambit.
I've been buying a lot of DVD movies lately in the cheap movie sections b/c usually any movie is pretty good in my 51 yrs of experience. However, I end up with some horrible movies mostly made by BBC Films and/or with British actors/actresses. These movies are absolutely the worst movies I have ever seen. The Brits are great at a lot of things, especially singing - Elton John, Beatles & many others, but they are terrible at making movies, or at least the ones I have seen.
Jack and Jill is not a 2011 film because it came out in february 2012
I did not too badly this year. The only two of these sh*tholes that I saw were John Carter and Gambit. Thanks Kermode.
...But you DID recommend Prometheus...
he's just a guy with an opinion, and what is wrong with black and white films. Im 27 and I enjoy watching movies from the 80s and even the 30s (one of my favourite movies is the 1935 version of "The Raven" with Bela Lugosi) so whats your point?
John Carter and Battleship? Nonsense. Flawed for sure but the former was great storytelling and the latter just great for kids. The rest I have no particular argument with.
What was bad about the newest Twilight movie?
Surely Rock of Ages should have been in there somewhere...?
Jack and Jill came out 2011
John Carter and Piranha 3DD were indeed dreadful, dreaful films. I haven't seen any of the others on that list.
Of the ones I have seen this year Prometheus was one of the worst, its woeful science was unforgivable to me.
The Man With the Iron Fists was also pathetic. As too was The Dark Knight Rises. I hated it for the reason Kermode hated Gambit, that with all the talent behind it it was such a major fail.
Total Recall and The Expendables 2 were also terrible.
I hardly watch any new movies, so maybe I'm not as picky as some when I do see something. I liked John Carter, it had a lot of heart, and was pretty weird. I thought it was pretty gutsy, but I liked Waterworld too.
It was probably released in the UK in 2012.
You can download the podcast for free, regardless of where you are, I think.
I'd rewatch John Carter a few weeks ago and to be honest, it's actually not that bad and certainly it didn't to deserve to be a box office bomb. Let's wait to be wowed by Star Trek into Darkness.
thumbs up if you think the battleship doing a hand brake turn was the best part of the film
As it is HIS list AL the films belong on the list. They may not belong on YOUR list...
Couldn't have been that good if you forgot the title.
jack and jill shouldn't be on this list because it came out in 2011, and thats my boy was actually a very funny film
there are so many movies on this list ive never heard off and dont want to see thank you
Were can I find his top 1o of 2012 ?
Wait, didn't Jack and Jill come out last year?
Cloud Atlas does not belong on that list at all.
no a christmas story 2 lol?
I bought John Carter and Battleship BD for my dad when he got a new 3DTV and he now think 3D films suck lol
wasn't jack n jill a 2011 film?
The movie felt rushed in the 2nd and 3rd acts, almost like there was about 45 mins trimmed off the running time.
Jack and Jill came out in 2011...
You forgot the horrible new spiderman Kermode.
And I was so hoping that John Carter (of Mars) was going to be a good film.
He's done this in his other top ten films for years. He's still showing clips of the movies so your comments irrelevant.
I'm quite glad I didn't see any of those movies.
Agreed. It's right up there with Transformers.
no wrath of the titans ?
W.E. and Jack and Jill were 2011 movies.
Ah, have seen most of these! New Years resolution - waste less time on rubbish!