Let’s talk headship: A Conversation (Part One)
Vložit
- čas přidán 26. 10. 2022
- Let’s be clear- headship and dominance are not the same thing. Christ-like headship requires two things that may be difficult for some husbands: sacrifice and vulnerability. We chat about what real headship is, what it isn’t, and why it can be scary.
If you'd like to support With The Perry's in any way, feel free to give here: paypal.me/withtheperrys?
www.withtheperrys.com
www.jackiehillperry.com
www.preston-perry.com
I think the biggest issue for men is summary is to submit themselves to Christ first. If you can't submit to Christ's headship how are you going to lead your wife? Through a man's unsubmissive behavior, he desires Christs headship which is above his own. When we look at Christ's leadership, like Preston was saying, He submitted his authority and power out of love for us. So if you're a guy, learn how to submit to Christ, learn the characteristics of Christs leadership in your life, submit your authority and power out of love for your wife, and lead from that posture.
Aaron, this is so good! As a woman, I agree this is the biggest issue. What do you think will help solve this issue? Can the church help? Do you think men should mentor other men on this topic?
@@msm41009 Ultimately, I think the issue as a whole won't be solved until Jesus comes back. Man's desire for himself to be God is inevitable and unavoidable. However, Discipleship and mentoring like you suggested is probably the biggest thing that can help specifically from the church. Discipleship outside of church (if church is a people not a building) is probably not ideal and probably not healthy. Men need other men to show them how to live. I think the lack of discipleship 1. in the home and 2. in the church is the biggest cause of unhealthy christian men.
@@aaronbulleman3648 Agreed. Such a great point! Definitely a HUGE need for men to be disciplined by other men in this area (and manhood as a whole). 💯
Amen!!!! Powerful Word! you are Preaching!!!!! wow!! so well said 100% God bless you!😀
In the age of the manosphere. Men who are looking for manly advice can find it in submission and humility to Christ. Christ was both God and man .Why wouldn't he know more about us as men than we understand ourselves.
“Most of us are regular faced” 😂🤣😂 I felt that!
bruh that got me because I just recently accepted that I am just regular/average and thats okay
@@masegoramasodi1278 Definitely! Someone called me ‘basic’ years ago, & at the time I was super hurt & offended. Now I embrace it! 😂 Jesus loves me, & I’m happy & confident in who I am. That’s all that matters!
Please don’t ever think this podcast isn’t doing WORK because it 100% is. Jackie can speak about the things in my heart so well and Preston helps me see the ways that marriage is hard for my husband. Can’t thank y’all enough ❤ y’all are my therapist(s) 😂
Like legit agree with comment 100%😩😭❤️🤣
Amen
Same sis 🙏🏾
I’m glad I have access to this while single. Thank you guys so much for this!!. God bless y’all
Same !! To God be the glory ❤
Sameee❤
Same here!
Love that men that are lamb.
@Delise I hear ya! My little bit may be smaller than your little bit.😉 It’s tough out here in these streets with these grown boys!
Preston, Jackie's look is that "That's my man!" look. 😆
“Your sins are in the sea of forgiveness… but I swim in them some times.” 😂😂😂😂😂😂
This is why it is SO IMPORTANT to be careful who you marry. You have to make sure that you talk about as much as humanly possible regarding a wide variety of issues that you are going to encounter over the next 50 years.
Amen!
Im so happy I'm.not a man because being the Head is a huge responsibility. Your wife and kids life is literally in their hands, Dominance/Headship is actually a humble role.
Yes!!
@@WithThePerrys Thanks for replying. (Cousins in my head)& 4 kids where ?🔥you look Amazing Jackie
It is! Some men allow themselves to feel intimidated by the role, which is unfortunate, as God will equip and enable them to live out the role the way He wants if they put their trust in Him vs themselves.
Such a great point, Dashelle. My husband often says being a husband creates a challenging dynamic because... on one end, he has to LEAD/LOVE his wife as a representation of Christ's love for the Church... and on the other end, he has to SUBMIT his own life to Christ (as a "wife" to a husband) in order to be used by God for the former 😅... definitely not an easy thing to do and why it's important for us to lift our men up in prayer!
@@MarriageInsideOut and he gotta die lol.
This is where we make the distinction between aggressive and assertive. I like an assertive man when leading me!!
Lol I’m with Jackie but I wouldn’t say aggressive. I like assertiveness. Let me know what it is and stand in it! Say it with your whole chest…ya know. I love y’all talks, it feeds my soul.
This
You really have to be “whole enough” and healed enough, confident in the lord and your identity enough… to trust and submit to the lords model of submission as a woman, and proper headship as the man. Ultimately the Holy Spirit gone check both to keep them in their perspective roles. Humility is key. Excellent conversation as always 😊
Amen❤
Why am I smiling for 30 minutes like a full blown idiot? The Perrys are bomb. Mat God bless your home.
It’s not just you ❤❤❤❤
Great convo! My husband is the leader but I handle certain things. We consult each other before making big decisions but if we disagree on something and can’t compromise (which is rare) he makes the final decision. He makes it easier to submit because he is an awesome husband. I say EASIER not easy because the sinful side of me wants to run the show at all times lol
This is how it should be! May you marriage continue to be blessed, you two sound like a great team
Submission is one thing I struggled real hard with. At first you couldn’t tell me nothing, I never wanted to submit but i prayed to God to soften my heart. I’m still learning to put it in a practical sense
That's amazing, Winifred. So awesome how The Lord is able to change our hearts/minds!
So good. This is a convo to have before marriage. So much strife would not exist. Whew.
Grateful my husband and I figured it out over time. But that was 5 years in! This topic is such a perspective changer.
As a single, I looked forward to submitting to my husband because that was something I didn't see modeled by my mother in my upbringing. Fast forward to now being 10yrs into marriage. It's challenging to submit to a man who isn't submitted to God. It makes a difference.
“It’s exhausting to always have our sins put before us. Relaxing and becoming a safer space leads to trust”
Not the exact quote but this is so real and can be applied to all of our relationships with others.
Ooooh! Yeah that was a word! Trying to balance out this one in my parenting…not being my child’s “friend” because, well I’m the parent, but at the same time being able to have healthy exchanges that don’t always result in me pointing out flaws or creating that “unsafe” to talk feeling. That was so profoundly on point for me too!
@@K2dakay Dope!
“Being humble enough to meet them where they are.” That’s good Preston! 👏🏾 I’m learning to not force my husband to talk when I’m ready but when he’s ready. Thank you both for sharing this
Respect to Preston 👏🏾. Your voice needs to be heard EVERYWHERE. homes, businesses, Hollywood. May God open the necessary doors.
If this how yall talk on a regular basis… yall are great at conversation
“Your sins are in the sea of forgiveness but I swim in them sometimes.” That’s understanding actual forgiveness but our human nature in holding onto things. That’s a real struggle. Thank you so much for the grace y’all consistently show each other and the transparency you choose to have with others.
I grew up without a father and didn’t see healthy, affirming examples of manhood until I became an adult, which is pretty recent. I watched the lives of the most important women in my life be made worse on every level from submitting to faulty men. My biggest gripe when it comes down to this convo is that not much grace & reasoning are given to women who don’t want to submit or do want to, but have perspectives similar to mine. I don’t want to lose my identity in marriage and I fear submitting to the wrong man. I appreciate the way y’all framed this convo & I look forward to part 2!
When i read this: i don't intepret it as you "dont want to submit" BUT rather that "You Are Afraid of submitting" due to what you saw. I say this because truly if Jesus came and said to you "This is your man, i created him for you and he is truly submitted to me, my Spirit and my Father plus he knows what you've been through and he will lead you well. At times he will make mistakes but the grace is there for both of you." I don't think you'd say NO. I hope I am correct 🤷🏾♀️
I love ya'll's theological wrestling as much as I love the free flowing banter! Thank you for blessing us
"When he sees Eve, he sees someone who he can love and fulfill the will for his life" 👏 yaass Pres. Say that!
Ya'll betta talk good saints!!! This wisdom and real conversation is so needed for our generation!
I love seeing REAL relatable Christian couples
Not just a lion but a lamb! That’s good.
I love the perspective of reality that culture equates a personality trait passivity or authoritative.
As someone who’s currently engaged and has endured long time exposure to the toxicity of my parents’ divorce, I can’t even begin to tell y’all how much this episode means to me. Only God knows how much this podcast has blessed my life. I appreciate the way in which y’all never beat around the bush. It was edifying, convicting and encouraging as per usual. May God continue to bless y’all. Patiently waiting for part 2.
Just wanted to say, God blesses me sooo much through y’all’s marriage/ministry. I love you guys and I’m praying the Holy Spirit continues to empower you to talk through these things. It’s healing generations❤️🔥
Such a divinely beautiful conversation!
This is definitely a preacher/pastor’s 30 minutes. 😂, I love you guys and your conversations are always full of wisdom and freshness.☺️
Preston doesn’t understand how key this was for me, it’s hard to find brothers that will open up in such a vulnerable Christlike way, this was more than a blessing, it was a necessity
Yes Jackie he said “stifling” correctly ! It was funny when he called you out about correcting him. I could see how “muffle” would also work in the place of “muzzle”. Love this! 😂😊
@WiththePerrys Thank you for this dialogue! My wife felt I am/was a jerk, critical, unloving, unlistening for years. I'm one of THOSE MEN that just want to lead well. I WAS DISCOURAGED by the way my wife wasnt submitting to me or simply being nice/non-petty towards me. She states that Im narcissistic and passive aggressive, but believe she's simply looking at a mirror and seeing her actions but then putting my face on it instead of adjusting her behavior. I WILL say PRAYER DOES WORK! There has been much improvement, but still there are times when she'll be upset and telling I cause drama when I literally and calmly asked one question.
I serve and follow Christ and want my wife to join me instead of doing her OWN thing with Jesus. When y'all saud "If you dont feel vulnerable often, then you atent leading as Christ" I felt that! It IS SO HARD to keep being vulnerable...whew thank you... lol maybe too much sharing, but I truly appreciated this recording so IT WAS NECESSARY to comment.
You two look great, rested, and are just such a blessing. What a start to Season 5!
This is beautiful Preston and Jackie, you guys are helping me to understand my husband and myself better.
Such a good convo! Seen too many women be upset with scripture/leave the faith due to having horrific examples of Godly headship that has been corrupted with worldly male dominance. And I’ve also seen way too many men commanding submission from women that they aren’t even married to, and worst yet they aren’t even saved / aren’t submitting to God first. More people need to see this!
Whoa whoa Ms Jackie said “Submission is going to come against what YOU (selfishly) want and what you wanna do” 😰 I felt that
This was excellent truths that will benefit all men, women, married and wanting to be married. The humor is the cherry on top🤣! Jackie is a comedian and doesn’t even know it! Or maybe she does😂
The only podcast that I’ve listen to that talks about “equal submission”. God my god, thank you!
I think Preston is good at using semantics in a way that is tactful and disarming to women who struggle with submission. I think according to his analogy with the district manager though it would be unwise to hand over Authority blindly if you are in charge. Don’t get me wrong you can receive your wife’s counsel but you better put some thought into it less you be reprimanded by YOUR boss if it goes wrong…
Absolutely LOVE 30min with the Perry’s. PLEASEEE post more often🙏🏼🤩 both of you have so much wisdom to share !!
They are much wiser than their age!
Can we take this show on the road ?!! We need this live!
Yess to what you said about what a leader is and also so true …I think men forget or don’t realise that for a woman to submit and trust she first had to feel safe which means the man has to put in effort to be that kind of leader - a loving one. It’s much easier to follow someone when you know that they are also thinking about your well-being and not just their own and are adaptable and open.
The degree of transparency in this discussion is so encouraging! Minister Jackie you ask great questions and Minister Preston your accessibility and willingness to give a Man's perspective from the natural to a Christ-centered approach.
Preston painted a beautiful picture of what true headship is, it's sacrifice, sin did mess up all things, and when man fell he became less of who he is and more of who is isn't.
The idea of submission, coming from the Nigerian culture, was akin to "slavery". To begin with, the girl child was viewed as subpar - she added no value to the family since she would be married off someday anyway. Women were told not to buy expensive cars, or live in comfortable homes in good neighborhoods because that would deter suitors. Even in church, women were taught that submission meant if you had a higher paying job than your husband, you would do well to leave that job for one that paid less than what your husband earned. There are many stories of men telling their wives to quit their jobs because the pay was too high, it would make a wife proud and less submissive. So, even though as a believer I understood what true submission in marriage through Christ was, I rebelled against it because of what it would mean to my life, being a Nigerian.
Yes sis Nigerian culture with marriage is toxic. From polygamy to the verbal abuse that women are taught to stay within. It’s very sad that some Nigerian men would rather starve their families then allow their wives to work sufficient jobs and hold some power and weight to their name individually. Im glad things are slowly changing with the new generation!
@@asiaa8267 I'm telling you! Toxic!
@@swatkasham5509 Wow... so interesting to see how this plays out in a different cultural context. Definitely a lot to consider... thanks so much for sharing!
@@MarriageInsideOut my pleasure!
Thanks for your honesty. I hope that you are able to separate Christ's view of submission with that of Nigerian culture.
It's how real and sincere you guys are for me 😂 feels like a safe zone ❤ where we share, laugh, and get healed 😊.
Thank you for the conversation. I learned an important thing that I knew, but did not know could be applied broadly. When they talk about what is historically true, i realized they are falling into the same trap modern people fall into about modern day relationship. Historically, there were bad men, good men, bad women, amd good women. Who are you choosing to focus on? If you think men are historically bad, then you will focus on all the bad men and that will be your model of men.
"Whatever With The Perry's" ABBA Is building a tremendous depth of understanding in Our Young People... You both have come a very long way. YISSIAH is doing a marvelous work in You Both through Your family. I must say that this is part of the great loss we suffered as a Hebrew People when we became Slaves... The things that Abba Yah gave us in His Laws, statutes, and commandments, (TORAH) along with the wisdom and understanding of our elders and Ancestors, was lost in the chain of development that Our YAH instituted as our guidance. The effects of our separation from knowing who we truly are as a People, has bankrupted our lives in ways that has devastated our culture as a Hebrew and ISRAELITE Community, in a massive way. I have found you both and your family again,,, it is quite wonderful. I was qurious, about how YAH would grow Jackie when He allowed her to birth a son,,, I saw that there would be great nuggets there... But to see how YAH is growing Preston and developing his custodianship over his family and mentees is amazing. I am convinced, that the story of your family is indeed a declaration of YAH'S Grace and blessing towards all People, both Straight and LGBTQ People who do not yet know OUR ABBA YAH. I have said in the past, that molestation of our young people is driving the growth of the LGBTQ community. Some People with conflicted genitalia are a special People who YAH has made for Himself. Anyone between these poles,,, Yah can and will restore to Himself and grant an amazing life of testimony of His GRACE.... May ABBA'S Name be Lifted High in Praise and ADORATION for His love and Wonderful Salvation Plan In YISSIAH The CHRIST,,, now and Forever More. We LOVE 💕💕💕 YOU LORD YAH and YISSIAH whom You Have Sent... Amen. May all LGBTQ People,,, Call upon the Lord while He is Near... He will hear YOU.
I LOVE the way Preston put everything. What a wise perspective 💯
I love y’all’s transparency!! This is such a blessing to my 36yrold single Christian life😊. Thank you for letting the Father use you all❤
Trust! When he said that- I was like ahhhhh- That’s the key- make sure you trust your partner or spouse. Also, having that safe place in a person is so important ❤part II please!!!😊
This was so convicting, and I definitely look forward to part two when it comes. I was most convicted by how Preston says he was early on in his marriage. I heard him describing me, help Holy Spirit
To whoever is reading this keep going, you’re doing fine! No matter how slow your progress, each new week is filled with tiny steps forward. Be proud of yourself you got this.
Headship is indicative of authority. We all have a headship given to us, in loving God above all things. This is the first and greatest commandment. When we make this the focus, everything else is worked out.
Both spouses are to submit. Eph 5:21 KJV. However, we as wives are to submit to a husband that submissive to God. Wonderful conversations between the two of you and I love these discussions.
Oh my gosh you called him out on his flatulence. 🤣 Terrible but funny. Thank you both for sharing. I'm going to ask my husband to listen to this podcast. We both need to grow.
The pencil eyebrow reference has me wheezing! 😂😂😂😂😂
I'm glad I kept listening. The 'wow' moment came when Brother Preston said "true Christian headship is just as scary as submission"... incredible!
What an Honor to be a Patreon member👏🏾
I love the genuine authenticity of this conversation! Very cool! Y’all talk about things we should talk about more in church, in families, in marriages, and among friends. ❤
Sooooo excited that season 5 is already here 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 thought I'd have to wait longer...lol
Thank you to the Perry's for pouring out your heart.
Preston looking fresh
Gosh this is so good. I felt the fear of the Lord for any man who practices Christlike headship. Beautiful conversation and exchange Mr. & Mrs. Perry! :)
Such a great discussion on such a challenging topic. A total tangent, but I think this is the first time I’ve seen Preston without a hat on 😂
Jackie is cracking jokes and only chuckles while I laugh for a minute😂, thank u guys this is informative ❤
Just a really all around great episode. Preston did a great job at breaking down headship and how we as men can do better. I love the balance between you two 🙌🏾
Minister Jackie "It's in the sea of forgetfulness.... which I sometimes swim in" 😆 🤣 😂 😹
The way Preston breaks it down, does it for me!!👏🏾👍🏾💯
I have been watching you since I rededicated my life to Christ. I am 51 years old and I enjoy every video. You guys have some common sense. I see God glory leading your ministries. You are treasures to my soul. I watch you all the time.
This episode was well needed 💜🔥‼️
Jackie helps me articulate my heart in a way I didn't know possible. I love their relationship, banter, and flow.
The district manager example is spot on. Beautifully stated!
Yes please with part 2 Perry's! Thank you for your show!!
Thank y’all for this 🙌🏾❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing! Blessed! 💜💙💗
Whew, I cannot thank you guys enough for this podcast.
I appreciate these conversations so much. ❤
Thank you for the wisdom and the laughs, it’s like I’m right in the room with y’all. ❤️
This is so good. Its always a pleasure to listen these two.
This is sooo good. Thank you and God bless you.
Thank you two for being obedient to the Lord in your ministry (and marriage) and for being transparent about your journey! So many nuggets of wisdom dropped here!!
This was so good!! I appreciate the openness you two share.
I'm not excited about submitting to my husband. I feel naturally my first response is to tell him no or do the opposite of what he suggests.
Is it about being excited or is it about acceptance?
Thanks for your honesty. Have you tried discussing this with him? If so, what was the outcome?
Also, does he submit to God? If so, would you feel better that what he's stating is also God's intention for your marriage?
@@BluDrop5 I've mentioned it once back when we first got married but not since then. Are you asking if he has a relationship with God? I think he used to but I'm not sure. He reads his Bible a lot and I imagine he prays. We don't do that together so I'm guessing.
Thank yall so much for these conversations. Very helpful.
What I notice is the harmful submission is highlighted in the world. Submission is so complete and specifically mentioned in the word of God as love that balances the relationship. One that has each other serve one another, ultimately both depending on Christ and the trust of Christ in one another. Yet, like Jackie said, your flesh can often be irritated about what you are supposed to do.
What a beautiful conversation that many more ears need to hear! ❤
So glued to this☺️
Thanks for having this convo, guys! ❤
I was laughing WITH y’all when Preston kept saying things wrong. 😂
It really feels like we’re in you guys’ living room just hearing your hearts. Love you guys, God bless! From, Miami FL. 🤍
New here but appreciate this conversation. What most will miss and what is most overlooked is that the fall came at Adam's eating of the fruit. As Preston pointed out, the instruction was given to Adam. In order to be the head, you must be operating above the expectation/standard of your counterpart.
THank you Jackie and Preston
idk what yall did in between szn 4 and 5 but yall are HILARIOUS!! So excited for the content from yall.
Absolutely love listening to y’all before going to work😂 blessings! 🤍
This discussion is amazing! You two are such a gift 👏
thank you so much Jackie!!!
Timely discussion, thank you for sharing so much wisdom with us, can’t wait to hear part II! 💜
Y’all make my heart glad 🙂 ❤
This was great. Thanks so much for having this conversation!