No Perfect Parents: My Sons Weigh In On How We Disciplined Them | Moms of Men | Lisa Bevere
Vložit
- čas přidán 5. 07. 2024
- When it comes to discipline, the why behind the what is crucial.
In this discussion, my sons and I offer strategies and insights that will help you discipline your sons in love and choose your battles wisely.
Watch the full course on MessengerX: go.MessengerX.com/momsofmen
#lisabevere #lisabeveremomsofmen #momsofmencourse #havilahcunnington #lisabeverestudy #lisabeverecurriculum #parentinghacks #raisingboys #parentingtips #parentingadvice #parenting #strongwomen #parentingcourse #christianparenting #christianstudy #moms #mominspiration #bravewomen #howtodiscipline #discipliningkids #motherhood #trainingmen #addisonbevere #austinbevere #alecbevere #ardenbevere
______________
Chapters:
0:00 - Lesson Teaser
0:26 - Lisa’s “Favorite” Phrases
2:12 - Disciple Isn’t “One-Size-Fits-All”
5:38 - Let’s Talk about Spanking: Don’t Discipline in Anger
10:26 - Forms of Discipline
13:20 - The Power of an Apology
15:23 - There are No Perfect Parents
______________
Stay Connected:
Follow me on Instagram → / lisabevere
Follow me on Facebook → / lisabevere.page
Follow me on Twitter → / lisabevere
______________
For information on my books, resources, speaking schedule, and more, visit LisaBevere.com
You know you are doing something right when ALL your kids are loving and serving thr Lord and are 'pastors kids'. I hope I can sit around the table with my kids one day like this. Thank you so much for this!❤
Yes!!! 😊
Praying!!
Our doing as parents and importantly God's doing with them!We can't doing all by ourselves.😊❤
Oh me too. My daughter's are 11, 9 n 6 n its so hard❤. I got disciplined n punished. I want to draw the balance but its sp hard❤. Oh Jesus help me pls.
Thiiis
Don’t even have kids yet but I love seeing how it is possible to raise Godly children 🥹🥹Can we please have a conversation about raising teenagers.
Ggl
Awww, this is just so precious, seeing brothers talking about real things. God protect your beautiful families.
This is very wholesome to see families talking ❤
Lisa, the greatest thing that strikes me about you and Mr. Bevere is the way that your sons have turned out and the blessings of God on your family even unto the next generation. I think a format of this sort where your whole family comes together and shares insights on different topics would be SO helpful- especially in todays society where we need some answers from someone who has done it well. Please consider doing more of these family chats because its incredible.
Love hearing the boys talk together,, have 3 boys and a grandson,and seeing family be able to sit together and admit wrongs and right and laugh about it together and grow together is so precious
Wow what a legacy.. Thank you for this testimony. These guys are truly corner pillars in your house
I have 4 boys and I love this family show. So inspiring. And yes my boys, the youngest is a teenager now, love to talk about how we spanked them and they felt they deserved it. I learnt from Dr James Dobson's book "Dare to discipline" not to discipline when angry.
This was relatable and helpful. It was also confirmation to some things I'm already doing right!! Thank you for this video!
my mom used the same phrases too!!! All the way right away with a happy heart and a happy face
and that song.. oh boy :)
I love this. Thank you for sharing how you discipline your sons...it's the right thing to do for kids to learn and to save parents from shame in the future.
Discipline out of love not out of anger that's what God emphasize in the Bible.
We grew up in a home where our parents disciplined us till you had wounds. Till date we have scars.That's how they were brought up.
we however still love our parents so much.
You are such a loving family full of laughter and peace. I remember my days as a kid getting spankings. That discipline helped shape my character. I'm grateful for my parents then and now.❤
Loved watching this! love watching these young men makes me laugh! Reminds me of my own. Raising 6 sons! Wish had it 15-16 years ago we made a lot of mistakes 😢💔 God bless you all continuing to pray daily for ours and mistakes we made
this is soooo beautiful.... A home that loves the Lord..... I am not married yet but I already looking forward to a happy godly home !
Each perspective of discipline is very insightful. We don’t spank and really try not to yell in our house because it never felt right to me as a parent because I grew up being punished that way and it was always out of anger. I agree with consistency. We give extra chores as a consequence or taking away screen time and explain why’s ect. We also ask our kiddos if it’s a on going behavior like what you were saying, Addison would ly about stupid little things. Our 11 yr old son does that and it scares me that if he lies about stupid little things and sometimes bigger things telling half truths not taking responsibility that we feel we can’t trust him. He is very smart and we think he thinks he can debate us and he won’t get a consequence because he will try to convince us he’s right. We tell him to pray about it because we want him to want to be honest. In my opinion it is such a important quality to have. Is this asking too much for our 11 and 9 yr old? How do we navigate discipline in this area?
Dealing with lies among my girls too. 9 n 6. The 11 yr old is too smart, she acts nauve or forgetful.
I appreciate these talks! And including the single moms in this conversation is so appreciated. Thank you!
😂😂😂😂😂I have two boys. I love this conversation
I have 6 sisters and 3 brothers!! Watching this reminds me of how it was back then living with all the siblings and constantly getting into things lol
A great reminder to take time out before the conversation or giving out consequences if emotions run high.
I would also encourage all parents to consider alternatives to spankings - The Whole-Brain Child approach is helping me tremendously as we speak! 😊
Stunning family. Amen. God Bless you all...
Great fun. Thanks. Lots of good sense. I have one child, a daughter aged 5.
It wasn't an accident I found this channel. 💝
Thank you for talking about this! I only have two children, which we spanked, and it’s so effective (when done in love and explanation) that early on you get to the point to where your “word” is respected and there is a reverence to Mom & Dad. ♥️ I just don’t see the same affect with time outs. 🙏🏽 (Humble personal opinion.)
They are all so handsome and godly!!!!! Wow ✝️❤️
Lol 🤣 one of my daughter's has the same lying problem. And yes, she will lie about the most trivial things. I pray 🙏 she grows out of it. She has had a lying problem since she was little. I'm glad I'm not alone in this. I got thrown in jail in January, because I took a phone away and she beat me up to get it back. She lied to the police so as not to get herself in trouble 😵💫 Those we're her exact words when her dad asked her why she lied. Please pray for her. That's what God spoke to me when it all happened.
This was beautiful to see. Love all that you have instilled in your children. God Bless ❤️
Excellent Talk!, everyone!- Excellent! I learned so much in the short time that all of you chimed in on parenting. You know Lisa, it’s quite obvious that you and John did a great job of raising your sons because they each exhibit maturity on several levels. Kudos to you for a “ job well done “!!!👸🏻✝️✝️✝️🎤🌎🇺🇸✔️✔️✔️🥁✝️✝️✝️👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👊🏽
Thank you for this! So very encouraging 🥹💗
Wow!! This is my favorite!!!
Glory to God!!!
Sending love from India❤
This was so great! Great content!! God bless you!
This was so good! Thank you!!
So precious! 💝
Loving these conversations
I love this 😂! My cousins and i talk about discipline with laughter, is precious. I am so greatefull.
I love this convesation, i am not married nor have kids but this is an important topic.
One,to realize we are sinners and will make mistakes but if we choose to stick to the word of God and his teaching with love, it will bring great blessing.
The way we where braught up and what i have read in Gods word helps me be a better sister, understand my parents way more, even tho sometimes is hard, and be able to take care of children and love them and work with them.
And yes, for some reasone we always choose father for spanking 😂
Lisa's smile is so beautiful
Loved this. Thank you
I loved the "All the way, right away, in a joyful way"...I really wish I knew the song! :(. I can only imagine the sighs when she said, "Discipline is your friend."
God is called our father. Children learn that relationship by the shadow of this parent/child earthly relationship.
I don't think "Because I said so" is all bad. Abraham didn't really understand the "why" behind his wandering, but trusted God would reward him in the end. Why did the Israelites have to march around the walls of Jericho 13 times? Why did Naaman have to dip 7 times in the Jordan? Why are we baptized to be saved (Mk 16:16, Acts 22:16, I Pet 3:21)? Because God said so. We teach our children "because I said so" because sometimes God says "Because I said so" and we don't completely know the why. We are teaching them the authority of God.
In the same vein, I am not greater than God. How many times did God get angry with the Israelites and punished them in his anger? Nadab and Abihu, Uzzah, Ananias and Sapphira, Korah and his followers...all felt God's wrath. Clearly, God is always right and we aren't, so we have to be cautious and not sin...but our wrath at their sin is a shadow of God's. When they see us get upset with them, they learn how upset God is when they sin and seek to avoid his everlasting wrath. We shouldn't beat ourselves up over normal responses to breaks in the relationship.
Great videos; keep them coming!
Soooooooo amazing 😭
*We were wrong in how we disciplined our (now-teenager) who has grown-up in European culture. She grew up with parents praying everyday, trying to live up to Christian values-but we almost never spanked her because we wanted to show that GOD doesn't punish physically. But we tried to show her that GOD is forgiving, and kind and patient.But now, we are still learning to keep our hands-off when our teen-ager lives this phase of her life with her non-Christian friends. Hoping that one day when she matures, like we did, she will realize and learn and change mindset from an immature teen-ager to an adult who has seen her parents live up to Christ the best we can. Praise The LORD Amen!* 🙏🙌
Great video
My mom didn't only spank me, she hit me with everything she found😂 yeah some bruises here and there all the time. But you know what? many kids don't obey with only lovely words, and i was one of them, so i had to be hit 😂. But it helped, and I'm a better person because of my beautiful mama❤
❤❤❤❤❤
What about if you have foster children. So by law I can not spank them. Does this mean I cannot biblically discipline ? Also what about biological children. I feel like spanking my bio child and never spanking his other siblings that this will cause him unnecessary resentment
There are other ways to discipline... and I agree that spanking your biological son under this circumstance may be harmful to him. I suggest exploring other means of discipline.
@@jareya if there are other ways to displine then why spank at all
@@mrs.meowgi4879 Because it can be effective when done properly, with wisdom, love and grace as discussed in the video. It's just that in your case, I think it's tricky because your biological child may feel singled out if he's the only one that ever gets spanked. But as mentioned in the video, disciple does not equal spanking. As they discussed, whatever you choose to do, it's more important to have clarity of communication, vulnerability, honesty, boundaries and consequences.
Thank you for response
Discipline doesn’t equate to spanking or hitting your child. It is not a biblical discipline to physically inflict pain on a child as a form of correction. Times were different back then which is why generations need to learn from the previous. The older generations used “spare the rod spoil the child” this doesn’t translate to inflict physical pain. Talking, time out, child proofing homes, firm tone when correcting, having patience to explain consequences are more effective ways of discipline. People laugh at gentle parenting but the Lord calls us to be gentle and have patience which are the fruit of the spirit ❤ I don’t think you can spank,hit or beat a child “out of love”, because in the end it inflicts physical pain on them.
The Lord does discipline even physically painful aas you put it, go read about how he dealt with the children of Israel when they continually disobeyed him. So yes, discipline isn't just spanking or hitting a child but it is necessary at times and should be done with the right intent not on an emotional basis.
God has shown us multiple times that willingly inflicting pain can be a form of punishment or a consequence of wrong/sin. For instance, when Eve wronged/sinned against God, her childbearing pain was multiplied. When the Israelites sinned against Him, He allowed their enemies to capture them (am sure they suffered physical pain in captivity). In some extremes, when Ananias and Saphira lied, He killed them. Am sure you can give a few examples where He has allowed you to experience physical/psychological pain. Yet in all these cases, they were still His children and He loved/loves them/you extremely. So yes, you can spank a child out of love. If spanking them will remind them that stealing is wrong, it should be done before they are old enough to understand the concept of jail/prison. As adults, there are things we do because we are afraid of the consequences and not because someone talked to us and we understood. For example, how many of us pay taxes because we are afraid of going to jail and not just because the government has told us about the benefits of taxes. So then, why do we expect that children will always do the right thing by merely talking to them or being patient with them? Sometimes they will do the right thing because they are afraid of a spanking. As they grow older (because there is a time when they will be too old to be spanked), they will learn that doing right has benefits.
God has shown us multiple times that willingly inflicting pain can be a form of punishment or a consequence of wrong/sin. For instance, when Eve wronged/sinned against God, her childbearing pain was multiplied. When the Israelites sinned against Him, He allowed their enemies to capture them (am sure they suffered physical pain in captivity). In some extremes, when Ananias and Saphira lied, He killed them. Am sure you can give a few examples where He has allowed you to experience physical/psychological pain. Yet in all these cases, they were still His children and He loved/loves them/you extremely. So yes, you can spank a child out of love. If spanking them will remind them that stealing is wrong, it should be done before they are old enough to understand the concept of jail/prison. As adults, there are things we do because we are afraid of the consequences and not because someone talked to us and we understood. For example, how many of us pay taxes because we are afraid of going to jail and not just because the government has told us about the benefits of taxes. So then, why do we expect that children will always do the right thing by merely talking to them or being patient with them? Sometimes they will do the right thing because they are afraid of a spanking. As they grow older (because there is a time when they will be too old to be spanked), they will learn that doing right has benefits.
@@phyllisfreelancer7052 wow I never thought of it that way, this is true. From my point of view however i don’t agree with it for children because they are not adults. They are navigating the world and learning things for the first time, they will have to make mistakes and I don’t think it should be reprimanded physically.
@@Gabi-yx7ek I know this will not change your mind much but look at it this way...the world does not care that they are children. It will reprimand them physically without any love. So by you inflicting pain lovingly, you are protecting them from experiencing the unloved kind of pain. Remember there are prisons for children and people out here who prey on kids and induct them into gangs, drugs and all sorts of stuff. So if you find your child hanging with wrong company or doing certain things where "sit at a corner and think about what you have done" will not work, you will slap him/her if it will mean stopping him/her from experiencing the worldly pain. Of course I don't mean spanking them because of every wrong thing they do every time they do it. I mean taking out the big guns when it is the right time.
In our church, its so hard to talk about spanking, because of past generational trauma of bad spanking... wich actually was abuse.
I love hearing this and realating to this video so much, and see so many similarities 😂