What No One is Telling You About Trauma and Addiction | Gabor Mate & Joe Polish
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- Äas pĹidĂĄn 4. 12. 2022
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We are working to change the way people view and treat addicts: with compassion instead of judgement. We help find the best forms of treatment that have efficacy, and share those with the world.
Genius Recovery is a safe place for those in recovery and those who support recovery, to connect, collaborate, and contribute. We share the mindset that recovery and addiction should be viewed with compassion, not judgement.
We ask âWhy the pain? Not, why the addiction.â This is hub to share experience, strength and hope, and a place where the worldâs top recovery experts frequently share strategies and resources. Genius Recovery helps heal the pain, and saves lives.
Rather than offering quick-fix solutions to these complex issues, Dr. MatĂŠ weaves together scientific research, case histories, and his own insights and experience to present a broad perspective that enlightens and empowers people to promote their own healing and that of those around them.
After 20 years of family practice and palliative care experience, Dr. MatĂŠ worked for over a decade in Vancouverâs Downtown East Side with patients challenged by drug addiction and mental illness. The bestselling author of four books published in over thirty languages, Gabor is an internationally renowned speaker highly sought after for his expertise on addiction, trauma, childhood development, and the relationship of stress and illness. His book on addiction received the Hubert Evans Prize for literary non-fiction. For his groundbreaking medical work and writing he has been awarded the Order of Canada, his countryâs highest civilian distinction, and the Civic Merit Award from his hometown, Vancouver. His books include In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction; When the Body Says No; The Cost of Hidden Stress; Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder; and (with Dr. Gordon Neufeld) Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. His next book, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture is due out on September 13, 2022. His second next book, Hello Again: A Fresh Start for Parents and Their Adult Children is expected in 2023. Gabor is also co-developer of a therapeutic approach, Compassionate Inquiry, now studied by hundreds of therapists, physicians, counselors, and others internationally.
* Why Gabor wrote his new book The Myth of Normal and the common myths that keep us sick
* What trauma is, where it is rooted, and how we try to heal it in maladaptive ways
* Gabor explains if there is a difference between childhood trauma and adult trauma
* How to change the atmospheric conditions of your life when life is challenging
* Insights into the topic of workaholism and healing compulsive work addictions
* The root causes of depression and anger, and the best ways of coping and healing
* Gabor's perspective on how A.D.D. and A.D.H.D. develop and how to best handle it
* Root causes of anxiety and fear, and the best ways of managing and dealing with both
* What psychedelics can do for you under the right conditions AND what they can't do
* The most important lessons Gabor has discovered about addiction and recovery
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Gabor MatĂŠ deserves a Nobel prize for his work.
I agree
He should run for president...and change the medical mental health system...before he leaves earthside MAY God speed him to us in Australia đŚđş đ he saved my life and my dog cooper xxx
Agree wholeheartedly.
đŻ
I really love Gabor, early childhood development is so important, Dr Spock said the same things but sometimes life happens, but I believe genetics do have a factor nature VS nuture. It is so hard raising children these days so many outside influences such as social media funny I am on it right now, I notice the more I am on social media the more my mental health broke down.
His soft-spoken voice is healing on its own.
Yes very much so!!
i know right!!!?? Sometimes, I just play his videos just to listen to his voice, even though I have repeatedly watched them so many times.
he is 79 yo? i mean thats impressive. hes got a solid wired physiology. does he drink alcohol ?
Yes! â¤
Without a doubt. Such a warm caring tone.
Psychedelics saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 12 years and after psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Iâve been looking to try shrooms. Anyone knows where I can source?
The use of magic mushrooms can completely help one get over addiction and depression. It totally rewires your mind
..crazy where the Comments went... I just wanted to wish you an awesome Life without addiction đ
They definitely saved me in my darkest times. I was really hoping they would help me with my addiction but unfortunately not. I was doing great with depression for a solid year after my ceremony but it's slupping back in. Man, you don't notice how truly broken you are until it gets really bad.
Congratulations....... Wishing you the best.
Totally agree - trauma disconnects you from yourself.
@lucas shut up please
Yes, the false self shows up
What is âtrauma?
@@couldbe8348 a wound, ...when you are unconscious , you get wounded.
@@NiKi-ij2ln not understanding can you give an example? Donât we all get wounded?
The opposite of addiction is CONNECTION. â¤
Omg yes.
So hard to connect because ,trauma ,abuse mental and physical abuse on top of my addictins has made me connect with those who have manipulated ,my natural human gut instincts in a way to where the normal things are harder to survive normal events that seem like it's a derversion to make u respond in a way that an emotionally traumatized addict would ,same as a normal person would if I said right .But so hard to explain when Noones has survived this long and is facing what is un none to addicts or
Teachers of man
Omg
Pray for me ..
â¤
You are not alone ! So many of us are still trying to heal from our trauma .
Letâs heal together and letâs start by being kind to ourselves first . Then weâll see how to extend that kindness to others with proper boundaries where we look for our wounded child first .
Agree. đ
âAddiction begins with solving a problem, and the problem is that of human pain, emotional pain, first question is not why the addiction; it's why the pain? And from my perspective, it's always rooted in childhood trauma, either overt or covert.â
- Dr Gabor Mate
In my experience addiction starts and is driven by pain âŚemotional and or physical. As Dr G says body and mind are one. One step higher and humanity is also one collective. Layers of interconnection in our body, societies, nature, earth and universe/galaxies. Many believe our next level of growth will come when we the illusion of division or separation. My pain is yours and vice versa. If I hurt you, I hurt me. Even those we disagree with and or really donât like (just mirrors or lessons.) No light without dark. Def not easy to live on this tiny planet. đ Namaste âď¸đ
@@bpassion4fashion581
Agree. đ You may find some books and talks by late Jiddu Krishnamurti of help. Iâve never looked at life or human condition the same. He has no modern equivalent and seen as one of greatest teachers/thinkers of 20th century by Dalai Lama, Ghandi and others. Try âHappy is the one who is nothingâ and âThe book of life.â Not to replace Dr Mate (his work is invaluable) but for a diff broader view. Search his bio and quotes to see. âď¸đ PS news for D Lama. Why I donât idealize any human.
Yes, yes, yes!
I have been listening to Dr MatĂŠ for years, and I am finally able to grieve my buried fears, angst and sadness - all of my small-t traumas that had haunted me for so long! My parents loved me and did the best that they could. I now see that they were, themselves, also traumatised, as likely were my grandparents who were immigrants in the 1890s.
Learning from Gabor and now being able to reconnect to my emotions which I had numbed as a young child, has finally set me free of lifelong depression. I am now beginning to live the real me at 71! Thank you for your work and wisdom, Dr MatĂŠ!
Iâm 55 and thought it was too late to âstart living lifeâ ... your story has inspired me that itâs not too late! I havenât missed âtoo muchâ of life to start all over again. Thank you â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
@@purch3176 it's never too late EVERđđ
im 52. socially, mentally, economically, physically broken. if theres hope for me, i cant find it.
@@SCORP1ONF1RE compassion to you.
I donât know but sometimes a big depression comes in on top of everything else.
@@SCORP1ONF1RE , yes! Listening to Dr MatĂŠâs explanations has helped me to have compassion for myself. I have learned to reconnect to my lost, buried self and have reclaimed all of my emotions, including sadness, fear, anger, grief, etc. I now feel alive and excited every day I get up.
Donât give up in your own healing. The answers are all inside you. Get to know the real you, and have courage and compassion to be vulnerable with yourself. NO ONE IS PERFECT!
Best wishes in your your healing! đ
I worked as a medical provider in prison for 10 yrs and that was the exactly the truth. I was able to see through the inmate tough guy and got to know a lot of them. Building trust was my goal. I didnât look at them as inmates, but rather patients that had some horrific pasts. I just hope I had a small impact on them. Gave them hope of a better future. I loved that job! That fulfilled me -then we closed. Lost another identity of myself.
I worked 60 hrs a week and took call for my own patients every day. Workaholic!
You're a hero... an angel.
You were a social worker of the Holy kind. đ
God bless you đ
@@witchywisdom4505. Thank you. I feel everyone deserves that no matter the circumstances. I learned a lot about their pasts and if everyone could understand this (these inmates I got to know never had a chance at the life we have) - society could do so much better. Appreciate your thoughts!
âIf u understood the Atmosphere and conditions of someoneâs life it makes sense why they do what they do â. âŚ..,..What a great statement
I learnt that in Primal Therapy 40 yrs ago.
This man talks a lot of sense. This world needs healing â¤
Every time i read his book, hear his book or listen to him talk i cry. So many emotions run wild in my head and i cry not only for me but every other person i know whose sufferings i could recognise and yet cant help directly. He is the only one who has taught me unconditional kindness
I really love this guy. I had a rough childhood and grew up being open and vulnerable because I didnât want to suppress my emotions and develop unhealthy anger. I was hoping that me sharing my story would illicit some empathy and compassion. I did get some understanding but ultimately some folks used parts of my story against me or to fuel gossip. In reflection I wouldnât have done anything differently but I do appreciate speaking about society and culture. In the states itâs deemed sacrilege to criticize the larger culture. Just because a lot of people do something doesnât make it inherently good or bad. America could use an inner upgrade. The incarceration rate, poverty rate and addiction rates are ridiculous for us being the âwealthiestâ nation.
â¤â¤â¤â¤â¤
He's just the most amazingly wise man of our time.
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by having a traumatic event take them by surprise, unexpectantly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death.
While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of âdiseaseâ, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you canât sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes.
Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way.
Itâs not a âfluâ, itâs not something you âcatchâ. Itâs biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
@@AgendaInMind đđ
Parents need to ensure their primary schools/ teachers understand this. Teachers are perpetuating this by suppressing childrens emotions and also labeling behaviors as âbadâ. Parents needs to voice their expectations if they notice & also discuss the teachers response to childrens emotions before the start of the school year.
I agree and I am a teacher! I did not get along with one superior because she was a dictator and she expected that from us. I will NOT run a classroom of scared kids. We arrived at school and those children were getting off the bus, head down and shoulders slumped! How many more clues does an adult need? It should be a happy, nurturing, educational space. I work on the reward system and get children to participate in a group. The whole school had behavior issues but they refused to look at their own behavior towards children. I did teach K-12 grade. I think a 12th grader sometimes needs as kind of a hand as Kinder child. Just talk to the children, we ALL deserve to be heard plus they are individuals. Yeah well no surprise I moved schools, I had to for my own sanity. Toxic. Our teachers believe they have to be mean to get children to Co-operate. Not true, it is easy to be the âBossâ of a child, pick on someone your own size. We should not be wounding kids to make ourselves feel â importantâ.
@@carolinefeherty4061 Thank you so much for this wonderful and informative response. I wish many more teachers had this powerful awareness - so they could bolster ALL children (not just ones who have experienced trauma) and aid in preventing this cycle. đđź
Gang-stalking and the surveillance state and the hidden harassment...they never address that. By ignoring that and offering any advice, they heap up even more victim-blaming.
Absolutely â¤
The education system needs to be overhauled. From the time a child goes to school up through University, the things Dr. Gabor talks about and teaches need to be taught. Teachers ought to be trauma informed to teach in schools. I learned nothing at school that did me any good in real life. I needed this teaching about 49 years ago. Just starting to heal from old wounds from a traumatic childhood, and learning to have a love and value for myself now at 64. Your never to old to learn. I thank Dr. Gabor for his insights and lived experiences on Trauma and being a beacon of light and hope to myself and to so many others that it IS possible to heal our wounds and have a good life. â¤
Gabor Mate is a rare visionary. I hope generations of Mate thinkers and feelers rise. Thank you Dr Mate!
It's down to us to take compassionate action and live from love, sharing what we learn with the world and ensuring it ripples outwards from our presence and deeds. Share the love! đ
It's so interesting how this maps onto my family: I have three older sisters (9,8,5 years older). My parents were never extremly connected but my sisters had a fair run at life early. When my mom was pregnant with me, my dad started to gamble and become extremly domestically violent (projecting his shame and rage onto her). I grew up with extreme dysfunction and adversity as a "normal". And you can tell that I'm different from my sisters, struggling with personal relationships, job security, ADHD, depression and what not. I'm also the only one looking at our family story, and have done very well in terms of emotional awareness (I'm an academic and a writer). And yet, superficially, you can tell from my general life struggles how my early early years have hurt me in comparison to my sisters.
I'm really interested in your story..as a person diagnosed with ADHD 7years ago,I have been through it all not to mention addiction was my number one coping skill..my culture is very reserved and as such the whole mental health is a no no.. someone could have a PHD but they could never comprehend Mental illnesses.such is my struggle.. and also was brought up with similar circumstances of going through traumas on my own..but this has in away opened my eyes in various ways and looking into my family's history.. individually
I always thought it was nonsense that human nature is reportedly âselfish, aggressive, and competitive.â and I appreciate that MatĂŠ brings this question. Any mammoth will tell you that humans are very fragile, and would only survive by being fraternal with other humans.
Thanks for the point made at 8:45⌠that our trauma is not a place to live. When weâre triggered itâs time to move forward and discover how to heal. We are not our trauma.
What he said about gangsters and hardening up is so true. As an adolescent I wanted to become a ganngster like the woman I would see in the neighborhoods I had live in, but no just any I wanted to be feared. So I started intentionally hardening myself. Now I figured Im not really like that once upon a time I was the loveliest 6 year old. đ˘
ganngster like the woman I would see in the neighborhoods?
Ariana, you are the same body and soul as that little girl. She is in you, you built your house on her foundation. Itâs never too late to protect her inside you, and empathize with the pain she went through and the ways she learned to cope.
I work in a child residential care home. Your work inspires me and I try everyday to help the kids in my care to look at the world in a different way and to accept what has happened to them and to let go of the past and hopefully give them the guidance to move forward in life. Thank you x
That's amazing! Thank you for what you do đ â¤ď¸
Acceptance is a process, not just a choice to be made. If you never process the trauma, it seeps out in unhealthy ways. So just telling someone to accept their past seems too trite to me, considering the subject.
I disagree with the idea that weâŚpeople with horrible childhoods are not capable of love and compassion. I suffer so much pain but given the opportunity to compassionately care for another person who suffers , share the love I have for humanity those are the most precious moments in my life. I can do it and Iâm at peace when such an opportunity comes.
He never said that people with traumatic childhoods are incapable of love and compassion. He said that SOME peopleâs natural capacity for compassion has been negatively affected by childhood trauma. His goal is to help such people recover that natural ability that we all have. If people were incapable, thereâd be no way to help them, and his efforts would be futile.
We, who had a traumatic childhood, are very much able to love. We seek love and we do too much in chase of love. We give too much to the people who are not worth it.
Itâs our own responsibility to cultivate and nurture peace within ourselves. đ§ââď¸
GOD BLESS YOUâŚ.yes taking responsibility is necessary
What does that mean? That an unconscious mind is responsible for becoming conscious? Easy words
Getting to know ourselves is probably the best lesson we will ever attain in this world. Thank you !!!
This needs to be studied by everyone! I love this immensely! Gives so much hope for the healing of people and rendering a better world in the future.
Yes, share widely!
I was abandoned by my mother and put into a group home at 12 she lied about me that I was so horrible and she canât handle me anymore thinking back I wasnât even bad I didnât smoke weed or drink yet I had a friend over that told me the smell of crack cocaine and I didnât know what it was till that day and I was so embarrassed about it and my friend being there knowing what it was I got upset and told her to stop smoking it in the house and called her a drug addict I was hurt and scared already embarrassed because I knew now that people were going to know she was doing it and in the house with my friends over after I got mad about it her group of friends left my mother got mad and called child protective services to come and get me say I was out of control and she couldnât gain control over me I was so bad she couldnât handle me and so on they came picked me up took me to the group home my mother smiled and waved bye to me as I was crying in the car this has been a situation that caused me to have severe abandonment issues I donât know how to love myself I am always trying to understand why I wasnât good enough to be loved by her so I been surviving on my own since the age of twelve and still have trauma till this day trying to understand what I did so bad why did she think I was so horrible and unlovable?? Questions I still at 37 ask myself and try to figure out every day because I have lived a lifetime of trauma in the system I was already broken when I was put in it at 12 afterwards I had to survive and I did start getting myself into trouble and into the wrong crowd I have been traumatized over amd over again throughout my life and not one therapist has ever talked to me about trauma and how I developed addiction to numb my life of feeling like Iâm not worthy or lovable by anyone I hope trauma is something that the mental health and addiction services will pick up and take a good look at the connection maybe then there might be hope for me
You Are The new system x
Thank you for sharing your story. I highly highly highly recommend the organization aca. See if there is one close to you and go to a meeting. You are not alone, you have worth, you are not what happened to you. I love you and I support you and we can get better. There is hope. I love you
There is so much hope for you. You articulated your childhood trauma perfectly and im so sorry you went throughthat. It's heartbreaking that you have not yet found a doctor that is in tune with trauma. It's absolutely pertinent that you look for a doctor who has studied or specializes in childhood trauma. The Dr's that do would be able to help you so greatly. Keep searching. You deserve to begin your healing.
Iâm sorry that you experienced that. May you take that pain and alchemize it for your spiritual evolution and to be an intergenerational trauma cycle breaker for those that come after you. You are not alone. I see you and know that this work is sacred. â¤
Honey there was nothing wrong with you there was something wrong with your mother her addiction was so powerful it made her choose addiction over being a mother and even that itself can cause abandonment issues I know because my parents did the same thing and I ended up studying and working in the field of psychology. Addiction can really change their brain but the point is there is absolutely nothing wrong with you that makes you unlovable and you're continued Quest I would really focus on studying and practicing mindfulness for resiliency from trauma that is what has helped me and others as everything I learn and practice myself I began to teach. I am so sorry that happened to you my mom used to threaten me with she would take me to the shelter if I ever told that they did drugs and just the threat was scary enough I can't ever imagine it actually happening thank God I ended up bouncing from house to house when their addiction got so bad when I was a teenager and then eventually mom died of cancer and then I was on my own it was hard I ended up in a bad relationship where I was getting abused but we can and will heal and we do heal I know what healthy relationships are now and that it did not make me less than or it was not my fault that my parents chose their addiction over me to them it's not even a conscience choice they feel like they are imprisoned by it their addiction that is but her waving at you seem to be spiteful that's her issue so don't take them on to yourself God I'm so sorry that happened to you how horrible but it sounds like at least you are self aware and you do try to continue your healing process so you are doing good give yourself credit for that the most important thing is loving yourself forgiving yourself for anything you think you've done wrong and loving yourself and then the right person will come learn to form healthy relationships I just studied and read about it and you know make sure you really know the danger signs of red flags if someone is going to be abusive to that way you can cut it off before it gets bad but half the people aren't doing as good as you in regards to being self-aware and trying to heal so give yourself credit where credit is due continue growing on your journey and continue to remind yourself daily if need be that there was nothing wrong with you that that was the monster of addiction and her own possible mental illness I hope this came through okay I do talk text because of severe arthritis and sometimes with my accent it makes wonky words I love Gabor mate I love the mindfulness in regards to the yoga and Tai Chi as it relates to Healing from trauma and addiction I like that one Doctor Who is real popular educating about narcissism Dr Romi I believe her name is. Also in regards to spirituality not religion spirituality in regards of universal truths things of that nature I really love Teal Swan and she really hits the nail on the head when it comes to things like trauma and how it affects our behaviors and she is not afraid to call out the elephant in the room and call out bad social practices that would allow us and actually prefer for us to suffer in silence instead of speaking and living Our Truth so really check her out her name is Teal Swan all of these people can be found on CZcams
My mom was pregnant with me while she studied for and took the bar exam. Before this video I never put it together that an experience like that was a major risk factor for my mental health...
A bad relationship is always the reason because you can't shut the front door on them when your stuck indoors with your abuser..
Totally agree â¤
Thank you guys!!!
My mom was drunk before I was born and until I was 8.
She raged if she was awakened while drunk, I learned very quickly to not make noise.
âŻď¸
â¤
I canât imagine what that would have been like, and I feel like this shyt hit hard when you grow up and realise the full extent of the situation. Wishing you only love and wellness!
The rage did my mother was terrifying and she was teetotal, sane feelings as you in a different set up. Very damaging curcymstances for a child. I wish you healing and peace. God bless you,
â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
He speaks so beautifully.
I have done some mind altering drugs, lsd and mushrooms Mda in the late 70's I was at my doc the other day and asked her if she had a good couple of weeks off.. She told me she was taking a course on macro dosing mushrooms. She had asked me if I had tried them . I am happy she is going in this direction. She is 10 years younger than me and I am 64...
When he sat crosslegged on the chair..he became my Guru.đđđ§Ą
I do appreciate the way Gabor is sitting, my most comfortable way to sitâşď¸
My journey at 60+ started with Dr.Bruce Perryâs âThe boy who was raised as a dogâ. Dr Mate has continued this journey. Dr MatĂŠ explains how childhood pain relates to adult behaviour. And how childhood coping mechanismâs become a pathology later on. In my role as a nurse I have now been able to guide people to get help because I could recognise their pain. I would like something (a book a film, a dvd) that showâs what a great childhood looks like so that we can start showing children and adults what is needed. Thank you for your book and thank you Joe Polish for your honesty. I love the showâs format. â¤
What a brilliant idea - follow it up! If you don't have the skills, find someone who does. Maybe Gabor would be open to this!? Trust your instincts đâĽď¸
It isn't lost on me today, as much as I adore Gabor, that women have been talking about trauma for generations, mostly quietly, often publicly, but it takes a team of men to really bring it mainstream. To make it really real. Women have had the choice to keep it quiet and have a life, or bring it forward and often lose everything, including family, employment and community standing.
Whatever it takes to get us here though, is better than not at all.
đđđđ If wanna get any psychedelics product,DMT mushrooms,LSD, candy bar đŤđŻ,,,,,
Iâve lost everything family housing my kidâs being open about trauma and getting help with my mental health and addiction Iâve been stripped of everything which has traumatized me over again they didnât take my kid till I was already clean working on myself and I have spiralled out of control panic attacks scared to get help now because I lost everything being open about my trauma and my addiction I had under control at the time theyâre backlog in the system is making it impossible for me to prove my urinalysis testing takes 7 weeks or longer to get results now so Iâm not going to have my baby for his first Xmas because of a backlog in their system this is all trauma for me my tests are clean and Iâm not able to prove it I fell off because Iâm overwhelmed and scared to get help now because this is what honesty got me opening up about it all this needs to change Iâm not the only parent that is going through this over getting help and being open about trauma and still nobody is ever tried to help me from a trauma standpoint sadly itâs ruined my life I fought so hard to have again leaving me completely hopeless broken ashamed confused devastated this is a problem parents are scared to get help because they come take youâre children even if you are clean they want you to prove it with tests that can take up to a year to get all five in and get the results 7 weeks is ridiculous I have no results to have my baby for Xmas and itâs not my fault or in my control this is traumatic so itâs trauma on top of trauma fir being open about it this needs to change
Youâre right that there are more men shining a light on trauma, but that is because they have had most of the power for a long time, but that is thankfully changing as women are slowly beginning to realize that they have always had power over their own bodies ⌠what they choose to believe and what they choose to reject. Oprah Winfrey exercised her personal power to co-write an amazing book with Bruce Perry called âWhat Happened to You?â Also on the subject of trauma. Weâre getting there, slowly but surely. đđť
@@valtracey6180 that was exactly the point I was making, yes.
It'll be interesting to see how much influence might shift to people other than men in this process.
@@NaStashaLeBlanc You're not alone out there. Reach out to free local programs and be vulnerable with others who have truly come to terms with their addictions and traumas, not just covered them up. Keeping things "under control" just sets us up for worse later and our kids follow the same patterns.
Pray for your baby and work toward being the mom you want him to have when he's able to be with you no matter how long that takes. My daughter as an adult loves that I kicked some bad habits and continue to not give up on trauma work.
It gives her hope for her own demons.
Feel All Your feelings..Process them..Forgive and Stay in Peace! Peace is the Healthiest State for the Mind..Heart..Soul and Body.
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by having a traumatic event take them by surprise, unexpectantly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death.
While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of âdiseaseâ, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you canât sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes.
Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way.
Itâs not a âfluâ, itâs not something you âcatchâ. Itâs biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
@@AgendaInMind Jesus Keeps me Safe and Free and He Gives me Love and Peace..Everything I Need! He is my Source of All Good things. I tested positive for having Covid and was never even sick..is just the latest example. I have been very Blessed đ
@@AgendaInMind
Thank You so Much for that Beautiful Explanation. I am having Paralysis due to Trauma. I really believe what you are saying is the Cause. I have a little bit of coughing and cold hands but that is minor to the paralysis. I am doing the Sedona Method..of Letting Go and achieving a Peaceful state as much as I can. I have noticed that my body does want more protein. Thank You so much..This has been so Helpful. My father and mother were a murder suicide case when I was seven years old. I donât whether that could be a cause this late in life..I also married a very selfish religious man and had to do many things I feared. I have had a lot of trouble with fear my whole life..especially when on my own.
2022 and women's work, housework childbearing etc is not even recognised... Its terrible......
Tack Garbo Mate do har hjälpt mig att fÜrstü varfÜr jag behÜvde missbrukar i 35 ür .
Idag är tacksam fÜr allt. Smärta jag har burit inom mej kunde jag inte fÜrstür.
Jag är dyslektiker. Fick aldrig hjälp med det .
Tack fĂśr jobbet du har gjort.
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â¤â¤â¤đ đ đ đ¤ â¤
I love his truth. â¤âŚI come across people all the time, in depths of their trauma, after a whole life of being the black sheep. A family doesnât speak to the person saying, he/she is this or that and they donât deserve a relationship. I see his as in their trauma the inability to see things the way The black sheep may. I Spent 18 months in us immigration custody. After 20 years of picking up other peoples trauma. Then deported. Separated from everything. I am not innocent, I am a recovering addict. I have accepted my short comings and forgive the past for what it is. The hard thing is for anyone who thinks they are a productive person of society, gathering a wage that helps them forget the reason they are doing what they are doing. Covering up with material possessions, passing everything they donât like to the labelled black sheep suffering from the result of other people inabilities to deal intelligently with a given situation. Living in an environment that they are accustomed too. What is right or wrong only reaches as far as education and experience allows. đ.
You so right, Dr Mate' is beyond amazing, what a wonderful soul!!!! I just discovered him recently, as I have close family with addiction, and have fought it myself, although I myself also in the medical field, do have a fair amount of knowledge, but this guy, just has such a wonderful way of getting the message across, I love you Dr Mate' bless you đđâ¤ď¸
Life is complicated and our system tends to punish and use fear to propell people to meet it's demands. To cut us off from our own faculties of discernment and intuition is the problem which this man seems to emphasize. The more I explore my experience and triggers the more hope I have that I can heal. But I must admit the story of trauma extends deep and I have many trust traumas that were made worse in my attempts of joining certain support groups. Finding the right people to help me heal has been trauma triggering. But I have learned that people are all on different levels of empathetic capabilities.
Being in recovery for the last 8 years I have so much respect for this man I wish you and your family peace đđť
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Have been following Mate for a few years and completely agree on trauma being the cause of addiction. The 12 step community needs to wake up to the fact that there is no disease and people are not defective. There system elevates the shame and shuts down the deep feelings that have been pushed down because they are so painful to re-feel after a long time. The definition of sober is soundness of mind , not abstinence from a substance or other diversion that keeps people away from their authentic selves .
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I disagree that 12 step elevates the shame, if anything it makes me feel accepted and helps me discover the root trauma. Have you been through a 12 step program?
Not a fan of 12 Step programs either due to the group think and religiosity. Plus it has a total monopoly in treatment centers. I prefer Charlotte Kasl's 16 steps that I read about in her book; Many Roads, One Journey. The language is very proactive and emphasizes each person's intrinsic worth and power rather than relying on an external higher power. It's a more mature approach to recovery that I wish had as much familiarity as AA does.
Conditioned self: "You're sober now. stop acting strange and start acting normal. no funny shit."
Reminder to self: "the harder you try to be normal the more you kill your spirit. you drank to conform & now you're free. get weird."
Whoop whoop! đâ¤ď¸
There are several articles about 12 steps being bad for trauma. I tried 12 steps many times. It was a dismal failure and a self fullfilling prophecy.
I once worked for a boss who was a "workaholic." He seemed to me to be overjoyed by work and personally felt great being connected to it. But how did it affect others on the team? For me, his work ethic exacerbated my own trauma. I felt like I was never doing enough. I remember feeling frustration and even anger toward him quite often, even though he literally said on more than one occasion, "he didn't expect the rest of the team to work as hard as he did." Thanks for the discussion.
You are expressing some similar things to what am feeling. It is very hard to set our own firm boundaries surrounded by people with similar wounds as our own. It is hard to make sure you are not overexerting yourself when that is the work culture and directly or indirectly expexted of you.
Important to learn how to detach your feelings if there are no repercussions for not emulating the same hours. That's their problem, not yours, especially if they admit it's their problem.
I have not been emotionally growing and being stuck at the same level for a long time numbing myself throw substance is just so much bad for mental health
I wish Gabor would list HEALTHY coping mechanisms and Therapies versus not healthy coping mechanisms and therapies-!!!?? đ¤đđâ
There is no quick solution. Start asking the questions, read, listen to all his stuff on CZcams. Spend time in nature, deep breathing, talk to someone(friend, family) mindfulness. This has to be your number 1 priority list. Keep asking the questions compassionately. It's not quick or easy but you will get results.
Accept all of yourself, good bad and ugly
Listening and learning to Dr. Mate is fabulous. Iâm not an addict,believe in self care, going deep emotionally to find answers and try to be empathic.
Every one should listen to this enlightening theories.
Teaching in our classrooms is a great idea , in place of some of the nonsense that happens now.
Thank you Dr. Mate and Mr. Polish for this lecture. I would love to go to a lecture live.
Thankyou for the quote " painting didnt open up the gates of heaven to welcome me in, it opened up the gates of hell to let me out" thankyou, what I go through is this and Im not alone, much love.
I love Gabor, he helped so much on my journey. I'm forever thankful for his work â¤
"Arrogance serves no one. Humility serves all."
"To walk into my own rocky shoals, is to trace, and unlace, the soles of another."
"Cry not, woe is me. Ask, why is he? Why is she? Pain, collectively, is a cry for understanding, towards healing."
"For those who (seemingly) harm me, I assuage my judgement. For I have harmed myself and others -- unintentionally, and intentionally. Search your sufferings, and find liberation."
"Within yourself, leave no stone unturned. Having done so, you will not stone another."
"As within, so without: self-care = other-care; self-understanding = other-understandng; self-growth = outer-growth; self-harmony = outer-harmony. Divine & boundless is the journey of the self. In deed, and indeed, self-care is a gift, unwrapped & boundless."
"Our planet, our society, does not need more takers. We desperately need more caretakers. Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are the caretakers for they will create Heaven on Earth."
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to see to your self and part, in the sea of humanity."
"Not one, not thousands, nor a world.. can step back from an awakening."
~ Paul Jung
I'm so thankful you put so much incredible information out into the world Joe... you're truly a gift to the world đđđ
Oh my goodness!!
Brilliant!!
Itâs not the hit, itâs the concussion đ¤Żđľđđđ
Heard him for the first time tonight! LIFE CHANGED!!!!!
Thank you I so appreciate everything I have heard. Please keep focusing on kindness and people. Thatâs what matters
42:57 sign that Gabor is still physically strong and healthy hence he'll still be here comforting us
yeah its incredible strenght to sit like that?
I always love listening to Gabor! Amazing insight. And I love the new book. Transformative !
Thank you both for a wonderful and informative interviewâŚ. Dr. Gabor is an Incredible Gift to all and our mental healthâŚGrateful
He's so great, so glad to hear his message. It has helped me. The host is incredible as well. Much thanks â¤
Every word Dr Mate speaks has so much value and relevance. Thank you for posting this.
0:53 "We're more wired for love than we are for selfishness, if our needs are met" That's one of the MOST important reasons I believe to be financially successful... people say money can't buy happiness, but it literally does. Being without money can feel like suffocation, and it's so hard to not be selfish, insecure, and down in a position like that... but I find being successful at least to the degree that you can not only take care of yourself, but take care of the people you care about... it's so important...
I'm excited to hear the rest of this interview already đThanks Joe!
You are right that most people are unable to get their physical needs met without financial resources. Just don't fall into the trap of sacrificing your emotional ,spiritual, and healthy human connection needs so that you can make money. Also, dont justify making money in a way that is hurtful to yourself and others by telling yourself you then have extra to give to others. You can be creating more damage than help if your way of making money perpetuates evil. If you are in that situation already, make a plan to get out so you can build a life where all your needs are met ( financial, emotional, spiritual) while your work perpetuates good for humanity. Above all, forgive yourself and know that you are loved and that you are not what has happened to you. You can change your life trajectory when you are ready. You are worth it!
Excellent show we never cease to stop learning â.
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Thanks for this! Dr. Mate, so much yes! Thank you!
Amazing people here for what you all and me survived.
Immense thanks for your presence in this man-made world. May your insights bring insight to people without.
Thank you for this interview. Thank you Gabor Mate. đđđ
This is amazing! You guys helped me go through my fear of abandonment today. I worked with a life coach using the same philosophy but tonight this video reminded me a lot about self validation and I found self soothing through this.
Thank you!
Thank you for doing the work of our Soul, our Collective Soul!
Such amazingly helpful information, and so much compassion!
I'm so happy I made productive decisions about my finances that changed my life forever. I'm a single mother living in Melbourne Australia, bought my second house in January and hoping to retire next year at 41 if things keep going smoothly for meâşď¸
Wow that's really nice! But how did you manage to achieve all that even as a single mom? please I'll appreciate vour assistance on how to go about it,
I'm desperately looking for a way to pay up my debts and also achieve my goals.
Well I will gladly share some tips to you, I used the F.I.R.E movement to put my finances in order. Then Invested in stocks, cryptocurencies and real estates though it's the assistance of an Investment lady who helped me make it this big
@@mariotyler7735 I will forever be indepted tođ daniellasimtion, you've changed my whole life I'll continue to preach about your name for the world to hear you've saved me from a huge financial debt with just little investment thanks so muchâdaniellasimtion
Thank you so much I'm really fascinated about
Investing and I'm lucky I saw your comment. I will look up for her and drop a message. You really inspired me. God bless you.
Same here $ 14,000 weekly profit irrespective of the economy downturn crypto markets regarding investments has brought me great achievement in life
For me this Gentleman really does have foundational insights that most damaged people intuitively plug into. Sir, you have been very helpful to me and my Family.
I love listening to Gabor Mate. I first heard of him through the RichRoll Podcast.
Softly spoken quiet words of value and with meaning that on the contrary will echo through the centuries loudly, forever! Thank you Doc! You've helped turn the tables on my life around already, just by your kind example of how you care about others. That resonated so heavily and struck a chord so deeply with me that I no longer could sit with my inauthentic nature. Much love, respect, and appreciations â¤
Iâm 59 and always was a sensitive kid/person. I was told hundreds of times before I can even remember that âI was nothing â. âKids are sh!)Iâ how do you break free of that kind of programming? Iâm screwed cause I have tried sooo many things to let go of this crap.
Have a look at Carol Tuttleâs works, you can find her on CZcams or she has written many books on healing, wellness and uncovering your true nature. đ
Take accountability for your part in believing the lie, then forgive yourself then understand and accept that poop happens and all we can do is clean it up and learn to be better via growth. You got this!
Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R Hawkins
If you saw someone treating a child how you were treated, would you allow it to continue?
I bet you would be angry at the people bullying that child and you would protect that child. That is how I would respond.
There should have been somebody to protect you. But the fact that there wasnât doesnât reflect anything about you, your value, or your character. It reflects the character of those around you, both those who were cruel to you and those who stood by and allowed it.
Loving yourself means loving that child who is still a foundational part of who you are. A huge part of loving yourself is regaining the anger you were denied as a child.
Something really helping me is reflecting on my childhood from the lens of a protective guardian over myself . If I had been there when I was a little girl being hurt, I would protect her.
Make right the injustice against the child you once were by defending yourself now, because that child is still in you and deserves justice
You donât HAVE to let go of this crap in order to thrive. Actually, allowing yourself to truly grieve is healing itself
@@jerrylyns7331 I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to write out such a thoughtful answer and it really helps I'm gonna try that
Dr Mate, my all time favourite
Wonderful talk. Thank you so much for your time. đšđšđš
FANTASTIC interview! THANKS SO MUCH for posting this!
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..I am receiving a completely new and compassionate perspective of âinheritedâ diseasesâŚsuch as alcoholism and its impact on everyone that get touched by it.
And it offers me a lot of compassion towards myself.
Iâve only listened to 40 minutesâŚThank you Dr Mate.
I have just started watching this video and haven't reached the part where alcoholism is inherited ..is alcoholism inherited?
Thank you Dr. Gabor Mate! so grateful
Very very positive and powerful speech. So eye opening
His voice is therapeutic in itself. Trauma and the way he explains it totally resonates with me. I am currently reading his new book having read the others. I survived traumas as a child and now have crohn's disease fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis. This has had a profound impact on how i see myself. It all makes so much sense. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Dr Gabor Mate â¨ď¸đâ¨ď¸
Wired for love. Speak in everlasting words.
Omg a 4 year old - my heart breaks. My children knew I was their protector and biggest fan. I knew that they could be brave but they were never cowards? How painful to hearâŚ
Perfect background for a talk that opens with drug overdose info.
Im so very happy you exist in this world same time as me â¤ď¸
You have seriously helping me. I never thought this would happen
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my CZcams channel 7 months ago about self development. Now I have 719 subs and > 200 hours of watch time. I know itâs not comparable with others but Iâm still proud I started because Iâve been learning so many lessons that I could havenât learned without getting started in the 1st place.
With the music in the background and his lyrics makes a great song.
Thank you so much, Dr. Gabor Mate for your knowledge and experience, and thank you so much, Joe Polish for inviting him and for an excellent interview. God bless.
I love this! This is really helping me! Thank you so much!
Pleasant gathering, nice dynamics. Thank you both! đđ
đđ
Thisâs blessed mo so much!
Thank you both
God bless you everyone
This is the third time I'm listening to this xx â¤ď¸
I learn so much about myself from you Dr. Mate. I am learning to forgive myself which was the hardest thing for me ...
What has assisted you with this? I'm in the same boat tbh
You were hard to ur self?
Iâve watched many talks by Gabor on CZcams, and theyâve all hit me in different ways, but none like this. I suppose this is my first time really listening to what he has to say about addiction. Iâve known I was an addict (and perhaps I shouldnât even say âI AM an addictâ, as if to identify myself with my coping mechanism and therefore make myself inextricably tied to it when thatâs not the case; I am me. My methods are not.) for some time now, trying to escape in games and work and even in these therapeutic videos, in ways. But Iâve never⌠Iâve never ever thought about what was right about it. I never thought of it as me trying to solve a problem. I just thought of how I shouldnât do it and Iâm trying to escape and thatâs not good and I should be in reality because this doesnât solve anything, and all the blah-blah-blah about what I should be and what a proper human being does⌠shaming myself about how Iâm not âbeing human rightâ. But when he said that⌠âThe addiction wasnât your primary problem. The addiction was an attempt to solve the problem.â I, for the first time, asked myself what problem I was trying to solve through my addiction. And suddenly I was overwhelmed with an uncontrollable urge to cry. Things slowly came to me while the tears fell: emotional pain, anxiety, aloneness⌠in simple terms, and without having dived extensively into what it really is, all its nooks and crannies and history in my life, these are at least some of the things I feel on a constant daily basis that Iâm trying to numb out from. Because I never learned how to cope with these feelings or sit with them and feel them without turning self-destructive and wild.
I just wanted to say this⌠this talk, and that moment, feel like balm for the soul. I feel like I can finally see someone down in the depths, a light is shining on them for the first time in so long, and now that I see them there I feel like I could reach down my hand to them and connect to a part of myself that I havenât connected with in years, the part thatâs crying, if I just have the bravery to courageously face myself through the pain⌠I hope I do. I hope I donât give up and just turn to the addictions like I always do. I hope I sit and think and soak this in so I can finally reach myself for the first time ever.
All the best with this! I am rooting for YOU!
@@bluelinebabe1 Thank you. Youâre very kind.đ Iâm trying my best to stay rooted in reality since this talk, and find the origin points of my pain and process them, as well as learn to know myself. Got his audiobook, too. So hopefully this goes well!
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What a wonderful realm we live in.
Indeed. There is so much wisdom in his words. It should be easy to understand. But the world around is not willing to accept love. An excuse is permanent not to be empathic and socially concern for inequality, poverty, human suffering, the immigrants, the oppressed. But always willing to support war and political conflict instead of social spending on the people. Race, religion, hate, prejudice, the other, always on the way of love.
Thank you for this gift. đ
Thank u for posting this, Joe!
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"Trauma isn't what happened to you, it is what happens inside." Can someone explain this to me? I get it to some extent, but I'm pretty sure it's only a half truth.
Itâs not half the truth itâs the whole truth. Letâs use an example of an adult with cPTSD from childhood abuse. The abuse itself is a traumatic event, or traumatic situation. The TRauma though, is the reaction within the child as a result of the abuse. Maybe that adult child of an abusive parent had to learn to tiptoe and people please their parents in order to avoid further pain. So the trauma in that case would be behavioral, social, and cognitive changes as a result of the traumatic events
Dr Gabor you are an amazing soul
Gabor Mate is brilliant!
Love this man. I know he is right about all this. I have ADHD and only recently diagnosed at 55. I always wondered why. My mom was not a baby person. He talk in the book about how important the mom looking at the baby and not looking away first. I am the oldest of three. I was a little mom to both my sister's so they didn't have it. Loved mom but I doubt she connected with me as an infant plus she was 20.
As an adult I have autoimmune as well now linked to people pleasing codependency
I'm addicted to meditation and learning everyday something new, not just one thing but several and writing vigorously about experiences in depths and, again, learning. And, also, I am becoming at addict at dropping old bad habits and NEVER quitting the really crappy ones, which I pick up NOT with the same regularity (I've never been "intense" about smartphone usage or nicotine or caffeine, or worse of all alcohol, but kind of a mild user), but yeah, if surrounded by toxicity, like at a party with friends and/or family, I am well capable of enjoying myself once or twice a month every other season, so in essence, I get to drink the equivalent of ten alcoholic drinks every two months (five or so per month), but I can go MONTHS without any alcohol and if I do indulge, I do so with the pace of a social drinker and pick up a cigarette while at it. It's meditation and sleep and eating right that get me worried, but because I do think that there's such a thing as being too much of a good thing. Am I wrong, or what? Regardless, I'm gonna keep up with it. Oh, and avoid toxic people like the plague, never ignore your gut feeling, and being neutral, NOT positive or negative, NEUTRAL.
@Shaved Balls What in the world are you saying? I meant to point out in an ironic way that healthy habits like exercise and meditation can be quite addictive. They just take a lot more effort initially. Get a profile picture and maybe a real person name, then talk.
Toxic people can be worse than drugs sometimes x