Indiana Jones 1 but 23% Smarter
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- čas přidán 30. 06. 2023
- What else could have happened to the Ark of the Covenant 🤔
With the release of the latest Indiana Jones movie, let's revisit Raiders of the Lost Ark
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Indiana Jones but 23% Smarter
Following the release of Indiana Jones 5 (Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny) we decided to take a look at what would have happened if the military had thought just a little bit harder about the capabilities of the ark
STARRING
David Odom - Indiana Jones
instagr.am/mr.spodom
Michael Adams Davis - Military Officer
instagr.am/teamdavisinsta
Michael Schroeder - Military General
instagr.am/theschroeder
Written by Michael Adams Davis and Michael Schroeder
Directed by Michael Schroeder
Produced by David Odom and Brian Fisher
VFX by Richard Cabrera of Romthirty VFX - @ROMTHIRTY
Cinematography by Ferguson Sauve-Rogan
Edited by Michael Schroeder
Sound and music editing - Brian Fisher
Gaffer - Daniel Kautz
Makeup by Ashley Aldridge
Production Assistant - Max Baker
Indiana Jones theme parody music - Alex Walker Smith
A Warp Media Production 2023
www.warpmedia.com
- The Warp Zone -
Making sketch comedy videos about movies and pop culture since 2010
#indianajones #indianajones5 #newmovie - Zábava
"All our boys gotta do is close our eyes and the box does the rest"
"True. But all the enemy needs to do is close its eyes and the box is useless."
LOL You warp zoned the warpzone
I mean, the allied soldiers know that they have to do that. The enemy soldiers don't and likely wouldn't think that would work
@@zvonimirtomac7896 yeah until one of them actually closes their eyes during the operation and he gets away leaking the information about the new super weapon and what you have to do to not be affected by it
@@zvonimirtomac7896 And ever if they do, how do they immediately go "Clearly by closing my eyes i survived."
I mean at first. It would take several uses before people catch onto the workaround...unless they do have a minimal clean up squad on hand to literally blowtorch the survivors dead to ensure their bodies fit the whole "Light of God smote all present." as you would not risk having signs of ballistic weaponry on the corpses.
Clearly with such a game plan this could work. Also having back ups on hand for the box closer as that is the highest risk of the whole operation.
@@zvonimirtomac7896 Spies are a thing. So is Artillery. Plus all it takes is one radio operation who is manning his station and not looking to rely back to command what happened.
Love how the asylum let him keep his hat on even when straight jacketed. Just like in Arkham, it’s important to give patients a sense of autonomy and identity.
even though Indiana Jones is one of the greatest action heroes of all time, his actual contribution to villain's defeat in the 1st, 3rd and the 4th movies were very little.
I mean he did get the villain to the chamber with the holy grail in last crusade in what was obviously a trap by letting him be stupid to get himself killed because after him and Elsa kill him off, that's when he's like "alright try to find the shittiest cup in the room"
He didn't even have to do ANYTHING in the first one since the Ark would've killed the Nazi's WITHOUT him!
@@BokanProductions ya, except without him, America would have never got the ark
@@TheMonkeygoneape villain would've gotten in the chamber if indie hadn't stolen the journal
5th movie too, not gonna spoil it but it happens there too.
The only thing I don’t agree with is institutionalizing Indy, unless it’s a cover. They’d be better off locking him in a room with all the books they can get to see if he can track down any other worthwhile artifacts.
Yeah they were covering it up. They don't want people knowing it's God doing the work, just American ingenuity.
@@TheWarpZone so you're saying the Republican Party would not use the s*** out of the fact that America has the Ark of the Covenant back their Antiquated religious laws they want to pass?
That's the military alright. Making weapons of everything they can.
Reminds me of the bat incendary weapons of ww2.
TIme to overthink this...
But how do you deploy the ark? They say in the movie an army marching with the ark at its head is unstoppable, but does it account for modern means or is it more of a magical destiny of victory thing? Like the walls of Jericho, the hebrews were carrying the ark and playing the trumpet and that eventually brought the walls down. Maybe its military powers can be exploited outside the blasphemy of looking at the wrath of god. Then comes the question of how you deploy? By road with trucks or with a parachute landing (really dangerous)? You have a small unit of US soldiers that are deployed to actually use the ark, bring it to a battlefield, open it, close their eyes... How do you make sure that the enemy doesn't just shoot at them before they can open the ark? Or is the ark just at the head of a column and everyone needs to close their eyes? In that scenario, who watches your flanks? Does the ark count only direct gaze as a sin, or is it like a basilisk with loopholes for reflective surfaces? Getting back to the first deployment, the small unit needs units to protect it when it can't open the ark, some armour, some infantry... Maybe air cover. That is a good question: how do you account for air cover? A pilot may not be able to see the content of the ark but may be able to just chuck bombs at it. When Indy threatened to destroy it with a bazooka, Bellocq clearly believed the ark was in some kind of danger, so it may be destructible. Then what happens when you destroy the box? Do the cherubims and the wrath of God just lay waste to all surrounding humans and stay put? Do they lay waste to all humanity? A simple accident can wipe down your whole unit. Now let's say the ark is impervious to explosions, then the enemy just has to kill the men from afar with bombardment or artillery fire and get the ark and they just have the Ark and you don't. There were fear during the bombings of Nagasaki and Hiroshima that the bombs may be duds, not explode and then the Japanese would have a free bomb to reverse-engineer. But in this scenario the americans would still have the atomic bombs, more of them ready. Now, imagine you lose the ark, the enemy has the supreme weapon and you're left with fuck all.
Now the range of the wrath of god doesn't seem that big so you would have to move it around a little. There are always going to be some enemy combattant that has his eyes closed or just wasn't in the visual field. If you don't catch these guys, they will tell their generals, that or smart archeologists like Indiana Jones will figure it out. Once the enemy catches on to this little nifty counter, they will just institute Ark drills where everybody closes their eyes until the supernatural screams are over. Then the power is nullified but it opens up some interesting tactical opportunities. Once the Ark is a known factor, the Americans can play on that, create fake arks moving around the front to keep the confusion. Some can even imitate the lights and sounds. That way when the enemy is closing their eyes, US soldiers can advance and kill them. That can get old fast but the overwhelming threat of the ark can be made to be even scarier with a bit of agressive propaganda. Then the Ark is not a secret anymore and you have every religious leaders and probably a large part of the population that is unhappy or believes the end times have come. You have to deal with hysteria at home and the Pope and the jewish authorities asking for the ark for their own personnal religious use. Maybe a constitutionnal crisis about the separation of Church and State with some lawmakers wanting to legally make the US into the Kingdom of God. You may have sparked a new religious war.
Conclusion this power of the ark, the melting face seems uncertain, difficult to use and dangerous for everyone involved. Much better to just use it like the biblical jews did and just carry it near battlefields so that it makes miracles happen in your favor.
This has been my overthinking.
I pity the fool that read all that.
You my friend are a true military nerd. A for effort!
@@TheIllusiveMan11Did you read all that to check that?
@@thestormwar I did, he deserves A marks for effort
@@TheIllusiveMan11 I'm more of a nerd that asks weird questions about fiction. Thanks at least I know some people read and somewhat understood what I was going for. It was a stream of consciousness thing, so the whole flow is not that fluid. Plus english is not my native language and I'm pretty sure I left some typos in there. But I was understood by somebody else and I got an A apparently.
@@arthurbriand2175 that was a great ride thanks buddy
Why is it always 23%? And what goes into that math?
The math is we needed a number but didn't want to do a round number.
@@TheWarpZone I'll allow it
@@MrSiriusABSuggests whatever title only needs the characters to be slightly smarter to solve any of the issues they face.
@@TheWarpZonethe triple of that number is much better.
It is a round number, it has no decimals
Edit, whole not round, realized literally seconds after posting lol
Ok, I thought Jesus was gonna walk in and say, "Yeah sorry but that thing belongs to my father and you can't have it anymore, bye bye"
His general is the role he always wanted to play
"Franky, baby! Good thing you're always sitting down..." I wonder how many people that joke will go right over their heads. 😂😂😂
I don't get it
@@mr.nobody4529 Franklin D. Roosevelt, paralyzed from the waist down, always sitting in his wheelchair.
2:40 Shouldn't Indiana Jones go back to exploring around the world and putting more relics he discovered to the museum?
I think he spills the beans because he hates the US Military’s abuse of power with the ark & the military “shuts him up” for speaking out.
U mean steal
I thought Indy was going to deliver it to Hitler for an encore.
I love your skits/music videos sooo much!!! Thank you for making them!
Y'know, despite the tenancy to weaponize magic stuff, this version of the USA came out waaaay better morally in a world with a cancelled nuclear arms program.
Except that the Russians would have continued theirs and likely used them out of fear of an America that has a super weapon that they're running around using willy nilly.
I suppose accidentally preventing the nuclear bombing of Japan counts as being better morally? Though using God to commit untraceable assassinations is still up there. Especially if this version of the US military decides to use it on civilians.
I mean with that much power it would tip the balance at United nations which was foarming at the time
Nuclear weapons were inevitable, as was the catastrophic damage. The world literally didn't know what would happen if we used one until we did.
America wasn't the only one working on nuclear weapons. We were simply the first to succeed.
The government would totally do that.😂
Why am not surprised 🤣
Amazing how the general made that call without even dialing a number. 😂
I am sure the girl of thr line connected him beforehand.
The Arc does have tremendous destructive power, but getting it close enough to the enemy front lines for Axis troops to clearly see it seems extremely risky. I suppose you could tie it to the top of a tank or truck, but that would leave it vulnerable to getting shot. Not to mention that all it takes is an unwittingly well-placed Axis artillery hit on wherever the Arc is being stored to unleash literally biblical vengeance upon the Allies.
Never look into the Ark of Covenant or else you get a mind blowing experience that pierces your soul.
WZ do Indiana Jones, Patton and Oppenheimer in one vid. They are truly spoiling us with such riches.
But hey. We trust them with being "safe and effective".
Great video warp zone on you're take on Indiana Jones is superb would you do a video when the series is done on Marvel's secret invasion?
Yup. It totally makes sense that the US finds the source of ultimate power and then we do a complete 180 and use it as a weapon.
To be fair, it wasn't the kind of power you could just hook up to the Grid
Yeah I'm American and I agree
In the last newspaper it cuts off.
"Earns him a reputation as a".
as a what?
What reputation did Indiana Jones earn!?
The world has to know!
I wonder what distance does the ark work on...
Love your videos!!!
Question. If all this death and destruction is legit the power of God, then what would the Big G himself have to say about that? I can't imagine him being all too pleased with someone using his Ark all willy-nilly as a WMD 🤔
Unless that's exactly his will. If he didn't want the ark to be found then no one would have ever found it. But then it could have been a test, just like the apple.
"As serious as the heart attack your 'official' cause of death will be if you don’t get the fuck out of my office right now."
Damn that a cool threat.
1:25 Halfway in!
Please do more of these they are amazing
I like this more than Indiana Jones.
that general is wearing both ribbons and medals
and those birds on his chest are colonal ranks
I just watched Raiders yesterday (deciding to watch a REAL Indiana Jones movie while a fake was in the theater). I've always thought Indiana should've mailed the Ark to Hitler.
I can’t wait for the sixth part.
Indiana Jones and the Escape from Dementia
exactly let Hitler have it he will more then likely kill himself and most if not all the nazi high command
he really wanted that autograph
Come on, Dial of Destiny wasn't that bad
@@dankiumzed2831it was a good movie, it’s just nostalgia is a double edged sword where if anything new to a series is added old fans will automatically hate it, like have you noticed that no one ever says why the movie is bad
All of the general's uniform issues aside, the thing that is making my eye twitch is the National Defense Service Medal in-between two ARCOMs...
I really appreciate that you took the time to actually write for the articles. thanks for not just lorem ipsuming it.
Hilarious, but one detail to make it 10% smarter. DON'T TOUCH THE ARK EITHER!
Yeah, a part of the movie is that Indiana Jones didn’t succeed. He was supposed to bring the arc to the museum, not the government.
God may get angry if America tries to weaponize his wrath.
If they ever tried something like this, there would be a gigantic natural habitat around it where nobody dares to enter.
How long did that scientist wait to tell General Vaguely Patton about the Ark? Raiders took place in 1936 - Manhattan Project didn’t start until 1942.
these videos are fun. hope u guys will make more of these
I don’t think I’ve ever heard Raiders referred to as Indiana Jones 1
The Warp Zone did Indiana Jones better than Disney ever did.
What are you doing on about?
Did you see Dial of Destiny?
They say that with everything Disney does.
@@RiggedFem Not yet. But I already know that people are saying it is the worst one before it was release.
@@RiggedFemThat movie does not exist in reality I am. I borrowed Thanos Infinity Gaunlet to erase all bad movies in my timeline.
That was good. I love yalls stuff
I like how our top general looks like any foreign top general. Nice touch.
It is weird seeing Davis on the other side for once.
That headline at the end! Bwahahaha!
Yeah, I think this is a bit too optimistic of an interpretation. As history shows, giving military, especially the U.S. one, weapons of mass murder doesn’t usually end well.
HOLY SHIT. It's a good video, but 'Frankie, baby! Good thing you're always sittin' down --' has got to be one of the best lines I've ever heard.
(And the rest of the line comes a close second.)
Not first, but still really early. I can dig it.
Close!
I wouldn't be used, because it could be stolen and used against them, if it cant be destroyed, being shoved into a wear-house somewhere and forgotten about is the next best option.
Bro that general is both five and four star and a medal of honor recipient?
grass, any of many low, green, nonwoody plants belonging to the grass family (Poaceae), the sedge family (Cyperaceae), and the rush family (Juncaceae). There are many grasslike members of other flowering plant families, but only the approximately 10,000 species in the family Poaceae are true grasses.
I’m wondering if there will be follow up videos with Temple of Doom and Last Crusade but 23% smarter
Indiana: Don't look, Marian! Keep your eyes shut!"
Marian: "But I'm pregnant, Indy!"
Indiana: "Well, maybe just open them a little..."
I was thinking of the Family Guy cutaway just as I started watching this.
America would definitely use the box in real life 😂
"Good thing you're always sitting down"
if you can put the ark to hitler's line of sight, you'll propably just shoot him instead.
Considering Warp Zone's history with Game Of Thrones, could we get a series of "Game Of Thrones, But 23% Smarter"?
Archaeologists usually carry shovels and brushes, not guns and whips...
2:34 That guy looking like he wants to commit more war crimes.
However, Lost Ark took place in 1936, several years before World War 2 or The Manhattan Project even started.
Are we sure the General is not Dick Richards great great grampa???
They should have made a movie of the aftermath of Indiana Jones' adventures and recovered artifacts.
I'm a little rusty on Ark but how did they even close that box & get those things back in it??
In the movie, the top automatically leaps back on top closing it.
Good vid broskis
Get me a cinematic version of this instead of "Indiana Jones And The Diarrhoea Of Disney".
But I mean.... is this worse? Like no nukes seems like the better timeline
Dunno..it means in that universe there’s also super creepy aliens with crystal skeletons who manipulated our advancement.
@ObsessiveGeek better them then the lizard ppl we have right now I say
@tylerstokes4124 That's just humanity, unfortunately.
Maybe a super advanced race controlling us wouldn't be so bad actually now i think about it.
Atomic research was being pursued by many parties besides the United States government. Someone was going to split the atom. And if Yahweh is behind the Ark of the Covenant, he's done worse to people for less than abusing his relics.
Heres somethin for the og fans:
Lately ive been ive been losin sleep,
wreaking havoc on the world i see.
But baby ive been ive been jackin cars,
i wont be countin dollars,
ill be rackin stars.
yeah, ill be rackin stars.
I've played this heist,
like a hundred times,
yet i always seem to die,
but since ive got infinite lives,
ill give somethin else a try.
Kill
just for the thrill.
All through the Rockford Hills,
and i dont think ill stop until,
a lot more blood is spilled.
I...
Fell something so right,
when stuff is exploding.
And i...
Feel something so wrong,
when grinding through story.
I cant deny...
Cant deny...
Cant deny,
everything that i kill,
makes me feel alive!
Lately ive been ive been losin sleep,
rampaging out in the
Los Santos streets,
and baby, ive been
ive been jackin cars,
i wont be countin dollars,
ill be rackin stars.
I know your type,
and im concerned.
Guys like you will never learn.
Your not skilled,
Your just disturbed.
You kill hookers,
watch em burn.
I...
Feel something
so wrong
in mindlessly raging!
You should die!
Should die!
Should die!
Ok,
screw it,
kiss your ass goodbye!
Lately ive been
ive been losin sleep,
huntin this guy whos on a
killing spree,
and dude i dont know,
dont know who you are.
I bet 100 dollars,
i will rack more stars!
Lately ive been,
ive been
blowin steam.
Destroying everything
in front of me.
And baby
ive been,
ive been jackin cars.
Said no more countin dollars,
ill be,
ill be rackin,
stars.
Take that car
and watch it burn,
add to the carnage
2nd star earned.
Take that bus
and watch it burn,
add to the carnage
3rd star earned.
Take that tank
and watch it burn,
add to the carnage
4th star earned.
Take that plane
and watch it burn,
add to the carnage
5th star earned.
Everything
that i kill,
makes me feel alive!
Lately ive been
ive been
losin sleep.
Been wide awake for almost
2 whole weeks!
Cause baby
ive been
ive been jackin cars,
i wont be countin dollars
ill be
rackin stars.
Lately
ive been
ive been losin sleep.
And slippin deep into insanity!
And baby
ive been
peein into jars,
could really use some dollars.
Im still rackin stars!
Im still rackin stars!
If Genshin Impact has taught me anything.
"Do not f*ck with God Remains. It does not end well for anybody"
Usable as a weapon indeed
That general dude after dying of old age: I was hero of the war, they will let heaven no problem
St.Peter: we're you the guy who used the ark as a weapon?
General dude: yeah? Why?
St.Peter: well, have a wonderful eternity in hell "presses button and unlocks trap door"
It's just called Raiders of the lost ark.
Indiana Jones 1? You guys know that Raiders of the Lost Ark takes place after Temple of Doom?
I’m surprised that whole “collateral damage to the environment” line got in there, since not many people knew of climate change… I assume.
I guess we're just gonna ignore all the collateral damage from civilians who don't know they're supposed to close their eyes.
Don't make me pause the video to read the newspapers!
I was kinda hoping they were gonna have a marvel reference there. Top guys guarding it.
1:48. 2:11
Not sure they would commit Indy. It could actually make people suspicious of what happened. I could see them paying him off for his silence though.
It's nice to see the newspapers calling Indy by his preferred name instead of that ‘Henry Jones Jr’ bullshit. They still have some respect for the man!
I like that it turns out the most responsible thing to do was actually put it in a warehouse somewhere to collect dust and pretend it didn't exist.
The most responsible thing would have been to send it back to Jerusalem and seal it under tons of steel so nobody can move it.
@@molybdaen11it always funny, if u hav a brain.
He is stealing culture relics…nothing more.
One of the reason I don’t like this movies. The USA world start WW3 if my ass would go around and steal historical stuffs from the USA and displayed in my country
Sad thing is i can totally see them doing Indy dirty like that. 😮
wonder what would happen if the US military got ahold of the Holy Grail?
Fun Fact: the first one is called Raiders of the Lost Ark not Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
I think the title was changed, or at least the logo, in the same way the title of the original "Star Wars" was changed to "A new hope"
It was renamed to “Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark” around the time that Temple of Doom came out
Even Funnier Fact:
Raiders of the Lost Ark is actually Indianas 24th adventure, including Temple of Doom which is set before the events of Raiders.
@@ObsessiveGeek
that count includes the TV series, I presume?
Maybe some other stuff too
I won't call this "smarter" just... accurate to real life.
-Tucker
Fair. But we already named the series but smarter 🤣
The psychological damage to your surviving enemies alone, would make it worth it.
Can you guys do a Supergirl recap raps?
They still claim this is a kids movie.....
Legendary Indiana Jones!!! ✊🏻🤠✊🏻
This makes total sense 😅
What’s dude’s bros everyone I’m back your fan is here
Power of God. No mortal should use.
So this doubles as both Indiana Jones and Oppenheimer but 23% smarter. 🙂
the '*TOP. MEN.*' excuse never made sense cuz indy was the top man they went to to recovering the damn thing in the first place. if they had a topper top man, they woulda gone to him instead.
Do the other indie movie
Makes sense.
Oh my god...
Are we gonna get more Melvin vids ever again?
Melvin's still in space
IM IN LOVE WITH HALOOOO
Nice video keep up the good work! Also can you do a recap rap of Solo A Star Wars Story!