The Toxic Experience As A Female Gamer

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 12. 09. 2022
  • join my discord: / discord
    oh boy. what a video. bring a gamer girl kinda sucks especially in valorant! toxic lobbies, sexist guys, and messy comms! low rank experience and I wanna talk about it!
    f a q' s
    how old are you? 24!
    are you pinoy? heck yeah!
    what editor do you use? Adobe Premiere, yay!
    what camera do you use? sony a7iii。
    where do you get your music? www.epidemicsound.com/referra...
    s o c i a l m e d i a
    join my discord: / discord
    instagram: / inakyu_
    twitch: / inakyu
    twitter: / inakyu_
    tiktok: inakyu
  • Krátké a kreslené filmy

Komentáře • 382

  • @IMNVT
    @IMNVT Před rokem +310

    So many languages and she chose to speak with the truth ❤

    • @MetaKnight964
      @MetaKnight964 Před rokem

      Confirmation bias and anecdotal evidence aren't the truth.

    • @GHOST_M3RK
      @GHOST_M3RK Před 10 měsíci

      Andrew Tate is a goat 🐐

  • @zuzuzu5127
    @zuzuzu5127 Před rokem +31

    There is also another side of the problem. Guys will start to help you, buy you stuff in games, u didn't ask for, be "super nice". And they expect something for than, even if u are not interested in any romantic stuff. And when u reject them, well... U are the evil one. And turns out they never thought of u as a friend equal to other males, even when they act nice :(

  • @strawberycupcake
    @strawberycupcake Před 10 měsíci +12

    I’m 12 and even when i tell people that they still ask for my discord, my socials, EVEN MY PHONE NUMBER. and they still constantly hit on me, harass me, and objectify me to the point where I’m scared to even go outside because knowing how bad these guys are online, imagine what terrible things could happen to me irl? women shouldn’t have to live in fear and constantly be sexualized even when they’re literal CHILDREN.

  • @nick-tz5ur
    @nick-tz5ur Před rokem +132

    That feeling of “if I mess up I’m reping my entire demographic” is SO CRAZY but, as I’ve found, so common with minorities. Or like. Anyone who is not a cis-het white man. If I talk like this ppl will reduce me to my race and not take me seriously. If I act like this people will assume it’s because of my gender and be further convinced of their dumbass opinion. If I speak up against this people will dismiss me as a triggered activist. and it is SO FRUSTRATING. Women are not a monolith. You are acting as YOU regardless of what standards society holds you to. It’s still just you, a complex, unique individual, and you deserve as much respect as anyone else. If anyone believes otherwise that’s a problem they need to work out with themself; you are in no way at fault for their actions.

    • @Scarshadow666
      @Scarshadow666 Před rokem +3

      Definitely agree! Though (even as a somewhat minority myself) I'd say it also applies to cis-het white dudes too, just that feelings with their rep is differently taken than with most minorities. With my cis-het white male friends and some of my family members, they didn't all represent a monolith either - especially when a lot of them varied in money status, neurodivergence, and personality types.

    • @aplace5791
      @aplace5791 Před rokem

      You contradicted yourself

  • @Gobildy
    @Gobildy Před rokem +122

    As someone who mainly plays single player games and when I do play online, the first thing I do is mute all. This helps remove toxicity.

    • @hopelove897
      @hopelove897 Před rokem +18

      Finally found someone smart. One think that I would strongly suggest tho. If you're going to do that, stay off any ranked mode in any videogame that requires some sort of communication. You don't have to talk at all, but if you can't even hear call outs then you just become a burden.

    • @captainngoose
      @captainngoose Před 3 měsíci +1

      Sadly this doesn't help in games that require mic communication.

  • @modalisk
    @modalisk Před rokem +197

    as a guy who plays competitive games I groan when there's a girl on my team, not because of her, but because I know there's at least a 50% chance my male teammates will immediately lose their minds and start harassing her, throwing the game, or getting extremely weird and uncomfortable. It sucks the way women are treated in games

    • @candide1065
      @candide1065 Před rokem

      Really hope she sees this, bro, you seem so desperate to get laid lol

    • @kittyem63
      @kittyem63 Před rokem +10

      ON GOD

  • @AsterLea
    @AsterLea Před rokem +49

    I just found your channel and as someone who's been gaming for decades, it is SO refreshing to hear someone say that we should promote the idea of girls just being *fine* at games. That pressure where you feel like you have to not only not be bad, but be one of the *best* in order for people to take you seriously is too much. It shouldn't be on each of us as individuals just to not be treated like we don't matter, or like we're "fake" gamers. I gave up playing online games awhile ago, other than with a core group of friends that I already know, as playing with randos just isn't worth it. So when people say that they don't see girls or women playing games, that's why.

  • @sonja84755
    @sonja84755 Před rokem +308

    As a girl who also plays videogames i'm glad to finally know that stereotype threat is a thing and im not just being weird and overthinking it lol

    • @candide1065
      @candide1065 Před rokem +5

      But you're being weird and you're overthinking.

    • @sonja84755
      @sonja84755 Před rokem +27

      @@candide1065 well yeah i mean true, obviously i do not represent every woman if i lose and feed into the stereotype but like now i know that i'm not the only person who feels this way lmao

    • @fifilulu5999
      @fifilulu5999 Před rokem +14

      @@candide1065 I think what Sonja meant is that being a "gamer girl" har a lot of negative connotations, most of them based off of gendered beliefs of girls "wandering into boys' territory", so to speak. Because of this, it can be hard for ppl to look past the fact they're a girl and view them based on their merits or skills alone, without relating it to their gender in some way (think comments like"wow, you play really well for a girl" or "so did your bf make you play this?", that kinda thing). I hope that makes sense lol

    • @Y0utubeIsFuckingHomo
      @Y0utubeIsFuckingHomo Před rokem +1

      Trying being black and playing online games. And they said racism is over

    • @joyul8216
      @joyul8216 Před 11 měsíci +3

      Bruh, Literally most of the time in the games I play, women are fawned over and treated in a surreal way.
      I stopped playing lol years ago, but when I played I had a lot of friends that I would duo with and they were treated better by the community than I was.And they often offered gifts of skins for the simple reason of being a woman.

  • @lilcup_oftea
    @lilcup_oftea Před rokem +129

    as a girl, this is exactly why i dont play video games that require me to speak to other people...

    • @unixerse297
      @unixerse297 Před rokem +1

      I just mute everyone. Can't hear their shit talking if I cant hear em

    • @magnesg1459
      @magnesg1459 Před rokem +7

      That simple isn't it?

    • @eeeeeeeeeeee321
      @eeeeeeeeeeee321 Před 7 měsíci +6

      @@magnesg1459Well it shouldn’t be that way. Lmao.

    • @magnesg1459
      @magnesg1459 Před 7 měsíci +1

      @@eeeeeeeeeeee321 How can any games or sports be competitive and exciting without its fair share of toxicity? It's obvious that even girls' sports have their own drama.

    • @eeeeeeeeeeee321
      @eeeeeeeeeeee321 Před 7 měsíci +7

      @@magnesg1459 if a man gets insulted over a video game it’s because he’s bad. If a girl gets insulted over a game it’s due to the fact “she’s bad because she’s a girl”

  • @ragsrare3771
    @ragsrare3771 Před rokem +32

    I don’t talk when I play online and always use unsex names. It is better to stay away from this drama,
    If they always insult each other moms while playing they clearly didn’t get spanked enough, what a motherless behavior.

    • @SheIIz
      @SheIIz Před rokem +3

      Bro no one cares man it’s a joke people like u in the lobby make the whole experience so much worst and boring

    • @MaviBlueArt
      @MaviBlueArt Před rokem +2

      I would like it if they'd insult each other directly rather than their mother. I also don't usually give away my gender unless it's asked, it makes it easier to just play. It's not like I'm there to assert my gender, gender doesn't matter, it's usually your damage or success that matters in games.

    • @unixerse297
      @unixerse297 Před rokem +13

      @@SheIIz Ah yes the "🤓 You make lobbys boring because you don't like us insulting mothers"
      A motherless example right here

    • @30ajgo
      @30ajgo Před rokem +1

      @@unixerse297 I mean… yeah. If people are having fun insulting each other’s mothers then let ‘em until their mothers get there. 😂😂

  • @GinaMarieGuyette
    @GinaMarieGuyette Před rokem +15

    The advice continues to be "don't let it get to you" because we don't stop the wicked who give it you.

  • @afy_jb
    @afy_jb Před 7 měsíci +4

    I fully agree with this take. I'm a guy with a naturally high-pitched, feminine voice. People consistently mistake me for a girl when I talk to randoms in voice chats in Valorant. This has given me a very very small fraction of a perspective of what it's like to be a woman in gaming. I've been called names bc of my performance. People have told me to kms bc they thought I was a girl and wasn't having the best game of my life. Once a guy asked me if I was a lesbian bc he wanted to get my snapchat if I wasn't. I'm at the point now where I don't speak in Valorant unless I have at least 2 other friends with me that will defend me if people come for me. A lot of my gamer friends are women. They're also some of the best gamers I know, so to the men out there (myself included), we need to be sticking up for women if we see them being mistreated. There's a mentality that many male gamers share that "Oh, they need to stand up for themselves". Well, that's pretty hard to do when it's 4v1 (and they're supposed to be on YOUR TEAM). The better mentality is if you see a woman or anyone being mistreated unfairly in a video game, call out the person being a dick, not the victim. The gaming community is toxic, but it doesn't have to be.

  • @walkerlocker6126
    @walkerlocker6126 Před rokem +8

    The pack exclusion thing is so true. I've been on teams that almost kinda team up against me when they realize I'm a girl and not very good at the game (most team games rely on shooting and I was raised on platformers and JRPGs, so I'm not so good at shooters because I don't play them much). It's like once they realize you're a girl, the whole team accepts it as a handicap nd bonds over it. I won't sit here and claim I'm the best gamer, but I'd rather someone call me out on my skills versus my gender. If I suck, I suck, fine. I don't represent all females, lol.

  • @tl740
    @tl740 Před rokem +18

    Which is why I usually try to not show that I'm a girl. If possible, it's pretty easy to pretend that you're a man, pretending to be a woman (if you have already set your gender as female and cannot change that)
    But usually, I never talk. I don't want to cause any drama (+ I enjoy being silent most of the time anyways)

  • @qbz4386
    @qbz4386 Před rokem +17

    "i feel like i represent every female gamer when my genders revealed" yes yes its so annoying i feel u

  • @weevil8025
    @weevil8025 Před rokem +98

    Honestly, it's important for us guys to call out other men that behave this way too. I see too many friends ignoring their friends misogynistic behaviour in the gaming community.

    • @x-man9473
      @x-man9473 Před rokem +5

      No its not. Women are adults. It's their job to stand up for themselves and each other. Men need to focus on helping themselves not helping women.

    • @gem0.079
      @gem0.079 Před rokem +32

      @@x-man9473 like they will listen to us, as humans we need to help each other whether its men or women, calling out bad behavious is basic human decency maybe you didn't learn

    • @simranverma7078
      @simranverma7078 Před rokem +6

      @@gem0.079 yup

    • @mexicanweaboo
      @mexicanweaboo Před rokem +3

      @@gem0.079 preach

    • @joyul8216
      @joyul8216 Před 11 měsíci +1

      ​@@gem0.079What you suffer, we also suffer in games, but what changes is that women are more emotional, so we men end up not giving importance to aggressive comments against us.We are used to dealing with it every day.

  • @meh4294
    @meh4294 Před rokem +28

    As a gamer girl ,your favorite ships are downplayed,having more girl characters than male characters to apeal to thier "horny demographic" forgetting that women also play these games ,and don't get me on competitive pvp games,I personally don't play them bc of that reason,I always try to hide the fact I'm a girl ,but honestly there are men that also respect and appreciate the things we like and appreciate in the games ,and we need more of that

    • @SheIIz
      @SheIIz Před rokem

      How u think game companies make money they know if they have a sexy skin or a sexy girl that’s bank for them cos guys will buy that shit

  • @qbz4386
    @qbz4386 Před rokem +14

    4:12 my dad said i got a C in maths bc i was a girl and girls can fall back on being a girl and dont have to try hard at anything. dawg im just passionate abt product design and hated wordy math. IM FUCKING GOOD AT NUMBER MATH

  • @kakloin421
    @kakloin421 Před rokem +17

    Whenever I play games I never disclose my gender because I know how toxic these people can be. And guess what? No one ever called me a noob or told me that I'm bad at it lmao.

  • @GrandArchPriestOfTheAlgorithm

    Note to self: Use the "Drop the sexism, you'll play better" line more often.

  • @KizuiVT
    @KizuiVT Před rokem +159

    Gotta support the girl 💕
    P.S. female harassment is ridiculous. I’ve cried after matches, and it nearly stopped me from playing Valorant.

    • @candide1065
      @candide1065 Před rokem +14

      Oh no, someone hurt its feelings, sacre bleu

    • @2crisp63
      @2crisp63 Před rokem +33

      ​@@candide1065 point of this comment?

    • @PickleRicksFATASSCOUSIN
      @PickleRicksFATASSCOUSIN Před rokem +19

      @@2crisp63 it's a troll bot, don't fall for it.

    • @MetaKnight964
      @MetaKnight964 Před rokem +13

      Everyone with voice chat faces harassment, that's how it is, get used to it.

    • @MetaKnight964
      @MetaKnight964 Před rokem

      @@PickleRicksFATASSCOUSIN You don't know what a troll bot is so be quiet.

  • @tarikcavalcanti4867
    @tarikcavalcanti4867 Před rokem +80

    i can imagine it sucks. I am male and I really suck at basically all games being usually the worst in the team in multiplayer games. If I was a girl I might have stopped playing because of the stereotype thing. Anyways, hope you can find good people to play with so you can actually enjoy the experience.

    • @dashycorn
      @dashycorn Před rokem +2

      and thats a whole other issue too right? Being a girl or boy or nb, why are ppl so salty over you being bad at games like geez... 1) Im having fun 2) Im learning??? I had a lol match with a friend lately, it was blind pick and my friend was level 1. We talked over discord and I was just teaching her the game, which was difficut for her, because its her first time playing this genre. ANd people started being toxic, so I was like sorry guys its their first time...and they were still toxic???

  • @mistermittens2430
    @mistermittens2430 Před rokem +12

    As a girl who plays league of legends, I feel this in my soul.

  • @cr34tvenuff91
    @cr34tvenuff91 Před rokem +9

    I play Overwatch and I haven't had too much harassment just because I'm a girl. BUT anytime multiple people on the team are underperforming (or more commonly not working towards the objective because they think they're playing COD), I notice that I get grilled way more quickly than the guys. This is especially true when my team is losing because my team members are focused on their stats and not actually winning the game (completing the objective). I also find myself not using a mic as often unless I feel like I'm playing well that day. It's unfortunate because Overwatch is meant to be a team game but I just want to have fun and avoid conflict if possible since gaming is supposed to be fun.

    • @ashleyy9982
      @ashleyy9982 Před rokem +1

      SAME.
      I would rather spend time typing than use my mic anymore 🥲

  • @DarkDealer666
    @DarkDealer666 Před rokem +6

    Awesome video. And yeah, that sucks... a lot. I'm not really into those kinds of really competitive games for the most part. But the fact that something that is supposed to be fun can be ruined like that... And yes, I fully agree that more of us guys should speak up in those situations.

  • @Otaku_Loaf
    @Otaku_Loaf Před rokem +1

    I must say, you’ve hit the nail right on the head Inakyu. I stumbled upon your channel and checked out your video on the male gaze as well as this one and I agree 100%. I’ll never know the full extent of what women and girls go through in anime, gaming and just general online spaces but that doesn’t mean I can’t offer my support. Your videos are great with great editing and even greater points being made, 100,000/10, truly an amazing video. And furthermore: Girls shouldn’t have to feel like they represent their entire group simply for being of that group when playing, girls should have to feel like they can’t screw up at a game simply for being a girl and it’s messed up that that’s the current state of play but I do hope things get better and that gaming and anime spaces become safer and more friendly towards women and girls in the near future

  • @FJLink
    @FJLink Před rokem +11

    Can't say much since I don't play online games, let alone with strangers, but I liked how informative it was. Keep it going :)

  • @jinx9252
    @jinx9252 Před rokem +6

    Oh my god, I never would have thought to put this into words but it is a very real thing that I have always experienced, especially playing with my mostly male friends. I am always worried about them judging my skills against toxic stereotypes about female gamers.

  • @Sean-hl4bm
    @Sean-hl4bm Před rokem +4

    Me and the ex wife played games, mostly mmos, together and sometimes apart together. Only thing I can say is that she was herself .. she played to have fun. She got good at what ever character she played and didn't try to do anything that wasn't going to be fun to her. I used to worry about her getting the harassment you describe ( btw, that sucks ) but she always was good at dealing with situations head on. She blocked people, told off people and reported as needed but she often used the approach of just saying, " hey that's not cool" and the behavior usually stopped. I wish you well in your endeavors and though she is the ex she was still a good gamer that just happened to be a girl.

  • @Sean-lo8yh
    @Sean-lo8yh Před rokem +67

    Hello Inakyu. (I'm a man writing this) I found you through one of your anime recommendation videos that popped up in my feed. Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences. I learned something, and I will act on what you said and be outspoken if I ever hear women facing harassment in any gaming situation. Also, I sent it to some of my female gaming friends who most likely can relate to you. Have a good day.

    • @MetaKnight964
      @MetaKnight964 Před rokem +1

      Men face harassment too, where's the outrage?

    • @liquidsweg4858
      @liquidsweg4858 Před rokem

      Simp

    • @polidon1577
      @polidon1577 Před rokem +30

      @@MetaKnight964 Speaking as a man that often gets harrassed in game, the cause of the harrassment isn't usually because of being a man. The second a woman speaks in game everyone just starts harrassing her just cause she's a woman, that's the difference

    • @spacecatmeows
      @spacecatmeows Před rokem

      @@MetaKnight964 you don't face harassment for being a dude, in fact you're the dude harassing everyone else. so go be outrage at your own inadequacy. All that privilege and you still amounted to nothing

    • @dashycorn
      @dashycorn Před rokem +1

      @@polidon1577 I dont think that the person you responded to can read but good job trying

  • @sohanicridland9116
    @sohanicridland9116 Před 5 měsíci +1

    I hear you girl. I have had some disgusting experiences playing video games in a predominantly male environment both online and in person. From family members to friends to random dweebs online. It’s the misogyny and internalized misogyny that has people dismissing and derailing the conversation with bullshit reasoning. If you’re going to bullshit, then just keep it to yourself. Everything inakyu said is true.

    • @mediamilitia7572
      @mediamilitia7572 Před 3 měsíci +1

      If you can’t handle the heat stay out of the kitchen!

  • @melvin9463
    @melvin9463 Před rokem +10

    I’m so sorry. This is so wrong. No one should be discriminated or be treated less because they’re not a man or because of their race or anything. Everyone is human. ALM❤

  • @eyesyt7571
    @eyesyt7571 Před rokem +4

    It's because there are too few women who play. It's not possible to tell what race someone is, but it is possible to tell someone's gender from their voice. Everyone notices female gamers because they are like unicorns to them. When women start playing more this won't be an issue.

  • @walkerlocker6126
    @walkerlocker6126 Před rokem +4

    It was even more wild in the mid-2000s, when I was a teen. Going into a game with other people was like preparing yourself to walk down Cherry St in the sketchiest of cities. I'm not even exaggerating. I had to mentally prepare myself every time I played. Some people will read this and find it ridiculous and laugh at me, but I really am being straight up here. It's bad. I used to justify it because everyone heckled everyone, however the comments aimed at girls was so different. Instead of insulting my gameplay or decisions, it always came down to my gender. Like dude, if I made a bad play, call me out, sure. Why bring my gender, body, and sexuality into the equation? It's... so odd.

  • @KrasserWitz
    @KrasserWitz Před rokem +2

    I mostly play games with friends and/or non-competitive so it hasn‘t been so bad for me in gaming. But I still feel you on so many levels. Like, I play Baseball in Germany in a small city, so there is only one team that is „mixed“, with mostly 90% men. And the need to prove that I am as good or better than the men is constantly dragging me down, especially when there are unnecessary sexist comments or the opponent just assumes for example that I can‘t hit that far. I feel so validated knowing that stereo type threar is a common thing not only I struggle with

  • @belladonnaoaisling
    @belladonnaoaisling Před rokem +7

    Yessssss. I don't want to be bad at a game because I'm a woman. I want to be bad at a game because I'm me and I have a dreadful sense of direction.

  • @kurisuchiinu1206
    @kurisuchiinu1206 Před rokem +4

    This is exactly why I don't play games that needed interaction because I seem to attract bullies wherever lol.

  • @rowansaro2458
    @rowansaro2458 Před 8 měsíci +1

    Really appreciate this video! I play games, but for the most part have always played solo games or local games with friends and family. I can’t imagine being actively harassed when I’m just trying to have fun during a hobby.
    I’ve played Valorant once or twice and not wanting to be a girl bad at playing definitely holds me back on playing more often.

  • @snowyetie8799
    @snowyetie8799 Před rokem +7

    I’m just really glad I’m not the only one that feels I kind of pressure to represent. Thanks a lot ❤️

  • @chrimsta1714
    @chrimsta1714 Před 7 měsíci +1

    i'm actually writing a paper on this for one of my college courses! though it's not as specific as i want it to be because of deadlines lol. but this i'm definitely citing this video for as a source because you just word things so well.
    and i'm so glad you brought up the idea of stereotype threat! i've experienced it myself and never knew there was a word for it. do you think that intersectionality has a play in affecting the severity of the feeling also? (being woman + poc, i am korean lol)

  • @swagingexo_osh8487
    @swagingexo_osh8487 Před rokem +3

    Thank you so much for this video u expressed so many of my thoughts so well that I wasn't able to put into words💝

  • @winnamm
    @winnamm Před 10 měsíci

    In 11:34, the only experiences related that hasn't happened to me and every man who plays online competitive games thousands of times was filled with phrases like "[thoughts] seeping into my mind". Not the rape threats, not the exclusion, just the response to what we've all experienced. I wish this obvious point was acknowledged more explicitly, but I'm glad you realized that at all.

  • @dashycorn
    @dashycorn Před rokem +2

    stereotypical gamer boy: stinky, doesnt go outside, has no social life, has no other skills than playing games,makes memes to cope about that "haha so funny I dont touch grass haha"
    Stereotypical gamer girl: Gorgeous, make up is rocking, pretty outfit, smells great, can cook and clean, can play games and has a social life
    So,I think they are just jealous

  • @Brandon-es1rd
    @Brandon-es1rd Před rokem +4

    Binge watching ur videos b/c you’re on point with the content!

  • @racheltadeu346
    @racheltadeu346 Před rokem +3

    Don't play much online anymore but in my teens and 20s I did a lot and the stereotype threat definitely was strong sometimes. Playing with a core group of friends in which my gender wasn't really a relevant consideration to them definitely helped me a lot.

  • @krono5el
    @krono5el Před rokem +5

    Remembering the og xbox days before private chat on xbox 360 was insane, with all the european kids from all over the world just going mega hard on the racism, it was like disneyland everyday for them. then many years later more girls started gaming and oh man they opened up the hate on them like no other. once private chat was implemented we never used a open mic again and cant imagine the shit those kids say now : P

  • @ProfDrLaeradr
    @ProfDrLaeradr Před rokem +21

    "I'm not trying to take down the patriarchy with this video"
    WHY NOT THO

    • @unixerse297
      @unixerse297 Před rokem

      Yesirr Matriarchy for the win

    • @adrianopinaffo
      @adrianopinaffo Před 10 měsíci

      Because the patriarchy is a myth?

    • @777holy67
      @777holy67 Před 9 měsíci

      ​@@adrianopinaffoyou toxic fuck...

  • @rawtoast1112
    @rawtoast1112 Před rokem +35

    i (man) absolutely loved this video thank you so much for teaching me something today

  • @skyrimnerdofficial
    @skyrimnerdofficial Před rokem

    Absolutely love this video, please make more!

  • @blackvixencrypt
    @blackvixencrypt Před 10 měsíci

    so definitely joining that discord group when I get on the pc later. Thanks for the heads up!

  • @kawaiifortheculture
    @kawaiifortheculture Před rokem +1

    I just found your channel, and I love it ALL. I’m a gamer and my podcast and content is in the anime realm….it’s so hard sometimes.

  • @Dsonsee
    @Dsonsee Před rokem +12

    My sister named herself "xXxOverlordDestructxXx" or something along those lines and she never spoke on the voice chat when she played multiplayer games. Her experience was of course much better than that of women who revealed themselves as such, but it sucks she had to resort to that

  • @CharmingGal
    @CharmingGal Před rokem +3

    When I played games (I am Woman by the way) That never happened to me, guys and girl is very nice and sweet to me.
    I am so Lucky to talk to wholesome guys ❤️

  • @mselmo2744
    @mselmo2744 Před rokem +1

    Kinda sad how this is the case with most nerdy/geeky things. At almost every convention theres a guy coming up to me and quizzing me about the character I'm cosplaying or trying to point out stuff I got "wrong". 🙄
    Like I didn't spend hundreds of euros on this cosplay, and didn't look at that characters feet for 10 hours to get the shoes exactly right.

  • @Theonetruesona
    @Theonetruesona Před rokem +3

    When you said half of all gamers are women, combine with I already knew about female toxicity in gamers made me very angry. Because women not being comfortable to speak is effecting the gaming community. HALF OF OUR COMMUNITY ARE BEING UNDERREPRESENTED. Like I’m missing out on meeting new friends online. Which is what gaming is all about, making new connections. But half our players being treated like garbage is unacceptable and as a man imma do better and tell others to.

  • @lvn4229
    @lvn4229 Před rokem

    i cant really relate, but i do hear conversation from friends about the toxicity in league of legends. i mostly just play puzzle games or board games because i get motion sickness pretty easily, especially with fps games (i can only last about 5-10 min before i feel like hurling)

  • @John-hz8xy
    @John-hz8xy Před 9 měsíci +2

    2:52 - 3:41 To the guys watching this video, it's important to remember that she, or any woman really, sharing their experiences, does not invalidate your negative experiences, unless they blatantly say that men's issues are not a problem.
    When she said that "you (men) will not have to experience this at all", she is referring to what women are experiencing, i.e. joking to the women to get r*ped, abused, etc., which, as a guy, would acknowledge is something I don't have to worry about.
    Do men face shitty experiences in gaming? sure. The thing is that that is not the topic of this video, so don't push it in the comments.
    It's ironic that some guys will say that men are trash talked for being shitty in the game. Well, who do you think talks trash for being shitty? I bet it's not women, but other men. And if you ask me, I think it is ALSO an issue worth talking about, just not in this video.
    Lastly, not being allowed to say slurs and swear words in some games is honestly a good thing and it's a hill I'm willing to die on. Sportsmanship has entered the chat.

    • @mediamilitia7572
      @mediamilitia7572 Před 5 měsíci

      Bro get off that soy she ain’t sleeping with you or your ilk!

  • @PeppermintBiscuit
    @PeppermintBiscuit Před rokem +2

    I finally have a word for what I've been feeing! "Stereotype threat"

  • @elvinasimx
    @elvinasimx Před rokem

    I agree 100% … I experienced a horrible game chat and I’m scared to play with other people that is not my bf or my friends.

  • @sm1purplmurderedme583
    @sm1purplmurderedme583 Před rokem +1

    as a girl i really wanna start online games but i’m genuinely scared. the normalisation of misogyny is so sad

  • @z_lila
    @z_lila Před rokem +2

    I'm scared to play video games with voice because even though I love video games, I really suck at them and there's always a feeling that people will think all girls aren't good at video games because of me
    to get not suck-y, I have to practice, but I can't do that
    I seriously hate it

  • @iroh3160
    @iroh3160 Před rokem +3

    The next time someone asks if you're a girl, just be like "no this is Patrick"

  • @kittyem63
    @kittyem63 Před rokem

    I try to just give comms and be chill but everytime Im doing bad at the game or I just have a bad game and then its "Wow, youre so boosted!! LOL w gamer girl!!" Like is it possible to maybe just play the game the same way my male friends do and not have to be constantly called out when I do bad. I peaked plat and it does seem to get better the higher you go but it does still happen. It's very annoying!!!

  • @bvick0035
    @bvick0035 Před rokem +3

    Oof, what you described in this video is bad, downright misogynistic. I have never come across this toxic behaviour, mainly because I like to play story driven single player games and multiplayer games don't hold my attention for long (also I'm not a competitive gamer by any means). I only tend to play multiplayer games in short intervals and I don't put voice chat on simply because I'm not interested in hearing other people speak ( I don't mind messaging in the chat box though). Now speaking as a guy, if I did encounter a female gamer, I would be delighted because nearly none of the girls I grew up with had any interest in gaming, so its nice that someone of the opposite sex can enjoy the same hobby as I do.But instead of embracing them(female gamers), toxic male gamers treat them like crap instead.
    Another thing you brought up is stereotype treat, which also sucks. I have to imagine that constantly being reminded of your gender and feeling the need to represent said gender is one of the worst feelings you can ever have and is completely unnecessary, as at the end of the day most games (especially multiplayer games) are ultimately created with the intention of players to have fun, regardless of who or what they are!

  • @petrolandcoffee
    @petrolandcoffee Před rokem +7

    why is gojo bald though

  • @ThumbWar2012
    @ThumbWar2012 Před rokem

    There is a reason why I play Overwatch with my friends and don't touch competitive. Toxicity is one thing, but as soon as a whiff of femininity gets in some ppl's nose...they toxicity becomes a whole different thing. And you wonder why my mindset drifted from being competitive to "I'm just playing to have fun" "I can flex" "I can support". I don't know if that would have been my mindset without that influence.
    ASIDE: DPS Only! is a super recommended webcomic from the perspective of a female player and an online competitive game. It's very good. ❤️

  • @4thswagkage
    @4thswagkage Před rokem +10

    Girls taking an interest in gaming is a good thing. More players the better and I personally don’t care about gender. You’re good you’re good. If a girl kicked my ass on Mortal Kombat, Demon Slayer (Hinokami chronicles), Over Watch or any game then I’d say GG. I Had fun and you had fun. Hope we’ll play again soon 😊
    I’m terribly sorry for the female players getting harassed, Belittled ect. That should never happen to begin with. The flow of time waits for no one and if my fellow guys don’t get their shit together then we’ll all be dead before the Aliens, Zombies or whatever comes for humanity

  • @russelhundchen8000
    @russelhundchen8000 Před rokem

    I play only single player or games where you don't really have the ability to communicate with the randoms you are playing with to avoid this toxic enviroment

  • @liandoaethend2403
    @liandoaethend2403 Před rokem +3

    The opposite in my home country
    The men became simps when the girls started speaking lol
    Then at good times its just "hellow", "hi :)"

  • @2KoolFaSkool
    @2KoolFaSkool Před rokem

    Crazy I'm just coming across this video. My wife recently stopped playing video games in general because of this nonsense recently. She got in to COD and was ridiculously good for someone who had never even picked up a controller before. After a couple months of constantly being harassed by loser guys she just decided it wasn't worth her time.

  • @leftturn8016
    @leftturn8016 Před rokem +2

    Hopefully women get used to it because it's not going anywhere:(

  • @malcolmisgee
    @malcolmisgee Před rokem +12

    I’d like to know what I can do as a man who doesn’t and haven’t ever belittled or trashed anyone for their genders I always try to say something but it usually isn’t enough

    • @lubieszafki6313
      @lubieszafki6313 Před rokem +16

      I think the best you can do is just react when you hear someone being sexist. You should also remember that you can't fix everything, so just try to focus on the situations you're a part of and don't beat yourself over other people being awful

    • @malcolmisgee
      @malcolmisgee Před rokem

      @@lubieszafki6313 I try to not be the hero but try to point out how much of a di cc head or asshat that others are being and point out then unnecessary nature of their comments are I find the best option I have is to make them feel dumb or reflect as to why they say what they say

    • @catalinazuniga2406
      @catalinazuniga2406 Před rokem +1

      Thats great, a think you can star with your friends, tell them whats wrong about it if you ever hear some one making sexist coments.
      That being sayed, we know every one gets bad coments in general, and then again, thats not an escuse, it only make it worse.

  • @joshakins4923
    @joshakins4923 Před 9 měsíci +1

    Honestly guys call each other horrible shit while playing online. Girls are not unique or special it's just the toxicity is more gendered, like r*pe and other bad shit. Guys get shit on too and online gaming in general is pretty toxic to begin with. All the stuff in your head about being a stereotype is a you problem. Give yourself more credit. If you truly enjoy the game it doesn't matter if your good or bad. Just be you and don't let stuff get to you as best you can. I'm a guy and this is literally why I turn off chat in games like dead by daylight. Toxicity sucks regardless.

  • @pattongilbert
    @pattongilbert Před rokem +1

    I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t find much toxicity when playing games, and that kind of worries me.😥 I’m so sorry that other people do so often, especially women. They already go through enough harassment.😓

  • @reality6506
    @reality6506 Před rokem +1

    which server do you play in apac or na, mumbai has no dissemination people get same Toxic Experience either boy or girl , just joking 🤣

  • @sliseluib1136
    @sliseluib1136 Před rokem +1

    I don't know what to say about this topic, but as a man who has play all kind of games since elementary school i can assure you, if they can use a motive to be toxic they will use it, if is not gender they go for race, preferences or even how you speak (in my case in Latin America, they use a lot of sexual jokes/issults even to men). So the best advice i can give you and anyone who sees this is, Don't give them importance and don't let them affect you or be sad because of that, because they get what they want if you do, always remember people in the online don't fear consequences of their actions (even more in a videogame that is normally used to vent their frustrations).
    If you want a true relaxing experience of videogame play with friends or single player, and if you want to know new people then only be aware that those isues will present therself.
    So take care :)

    • @sliseluib1136
      @sliseluib1136 Před rokem

      Pd: YT just recommended me on of your videos, so i didn't know this channel existed, there's a lot of interesting topics you talk about.

    • @sliseluib1136
      @sliseluib1136 Před rokem

      Another advice: I f you feel someone is harassing you multiple times in different plays or games, or tracking or doxing you, tell your parents or tutor if you're a minor and if you're an adult report them or block them (if persist contact police)

  • @hazelene_
    @hazelene_ Před 5 měsíci

    I met some friends online and someone them are kind of mean and some of them are absolute gentlemen. Many people thought I was like a really young boy when they first met me but I don't actually care about that.

  • @erynflynn8467
    @erynflynn8467 Před rokem

    I've never been much of a multiplayer game lover, but for a while I did enjoy Overwatch. I quickly got tired of the comments I'd get when other players heard a feminine voice and I stopped playing with voice. Then I stopped playing altogether.
    I really dont like the idea of 'don't play with voice chat then' because if you're not interacting with your teammates, you're basically playing a single player game. I go to multiplayer to have fun interacting with others, not to sit in silence and fear.

  • @ColleensMangaRecs
    @ColleensMangaRecs Před rokem +3

    Great video!!

  • @floofyguinepig9795
    @floofyguinepig9795 Před rokem +5

    Honestly Ive been wanting to play valorant for a long time but dont want to because I know I cry a lot, Ive heard bout the toxicity and since I also avoided fps games my whole life for this reason I didn't want to drag down the reputation of female gamers, the pressure is real...

  • @rangertuck9158
    @rangertuck9158 Před rokem

    I always have my mic on mute

  • @snufflesTheArticulate

    Honestly I didn't know that this even happens

  • @millzinh0
    @millzinh0 Před 10 měsíci

    I mean, i play a lot and use discord to chat with the boys but if I was a girl I would actually being a little scared to go on in a random call with a bunch of guys. Obviously there's cool dudes around but I'm pretty sure that i would face some asshole sometime. Sorry for any English mistake , I'm still learning.

  • @mistresspaige2670
    @mistresspaige2670 Před rokem

    Always mute yourself when playing online. Learnt that the hard way.

  • @Terminario
    @Terminario Před rokem

    I know what I'm about to say doesn't relate to the video but I love your voice 😅

  • @thechickencow6470
    @thechickencow6470 Před 11 měsíci +5

    Trans-woman here. I literally cannot use my microphone because of the sheer about of insults, slurs, and other bull crap that’s just slung my way :(

  • @sakurameadow
    @sakurameadow Před rokem +7

    I find in many of your videos, you have a way of explaining things I haven't necessarily been able to put into words myself. The part about being haunted by gender awareness, then going further into the why, was well put and spoke to much of my personal experiences in gaming. I refuse to accept that these toxic environments are inherent to gaming communities, and I believe discussion is integral to healing them.

  • @gabrielgray2345
    @gabrielgray2345 Před rokem +3

    I truly don't understand men having a problem with women in gaming. Idk if it's similar but I feel similarly as a gay gamer because I feel like broey straight guys are gonna act like cause I'm fem ill be bad at the game. However my voice doesn't give it away like for women, which sucks. I unfortunately ended up not playing alot of mmo shooters I like tho cause I don't like the guys.
    It truly just doesn't make any sense because, at the end of the day, the best smash bros player I know is a super femme trans girl and any toxic straight guy would weep in a game against them XD (our gamer group is all LGBTQ tho so hasn't happened yet)

  • @honeybee6166
    @honeybee6166 Před rokem +2

    this is literally so true!

  • @eksbocks9438
    @eksbocks9438 Před 10 měsíci

    It's a given when you're around Internet trolls a lot. I've seen the same thing on Reddit.
    If you're a guy, they trash talk you a lot. Beat you down as much as they can. But I've seen them pick-on women in a completely different manner.

  • @xianxiaemperor1438
    @xianxiaemperor1438 Před rokem +1

    Good video

  • @ashqly73
    @ashqly73 Před rokem +3

    im a gamer girl and this is so relatable
    i cried on the vc and I got harrased more :((

    • @LowResLeafa
      @LowResLeafa Před rokem +3

      Lol

    • @ashqly73
      @ashqly73 Před rokem +3

      @@LowResLeafa rude

    • @magnesg1459
      @magnesg1459 Před rokem +2

      Most guys won't sympathize even for a bit because the scene is competitive itself. Just like any sports, it's mostly toxic without discipline.
      Just play other games, like most people do.

    • @digitalisss
      @digitalisss Před rokem +4

      @@magnesg1459 no. Not “just play other games.” This person wants to play these games, and we should look to make the scene less misogynistic instead of driving women away from video games.

    • @magnesg1459
      @magnesg1459 Před rokem +1

      @@digitalisss Why should we focus on this instead of playing the game? All efforts would be meaningless at the end, because the scene would be nonexistent without toxicit and competitiveness. It's the reason people are attracted to it.
      Might as well just choose other cozy games to play.

  • @cass8139
    @cass8139 Před rokem +1

    This is why I go don’t show my face lol. I’m a girl and I love playing video games but I won’t be bullied for it smh.

  • @jaxbau3
    @jaxbau3 Před rokem

    why did i get removed from the discord server i loved it so much

  • @generalfeat
    @generalfeat Před rokem

    I haven't shit in a week, does that hold issue too? I feel like I can't talk about that stuff when gaming and a chick pops up.

  • @robmarney
    @robmarney Před 6 měsíci

    So true! For a shooter game where a woman in the lobby is treated no different than a man, I suggest Destiny 2. It's mostly a cooperative game, and the median age is like 30. There's a lot of crying babies on the mic, but not a lot of slurs.

  • @stephenandolino
    @stephenandolino Před rokem +4

    Thank you for making this video! Please make more like it.

  • @oh_hi_andre2379
    @oh_hi_andre2379 Před rokem

    Lmao i have to act as masc as possible and I have to drop my voice in order to just make a call out

  • @imeldaromera3
    @imeldaromera3 Před rokem

    oh no

  • @notaninquisitor7274
    @notaninquisitor7274 Před rokem +2

    Wish I could be a positive force against toxicity in games, but whenever I hear/see mistreatment toward others and myself my brain disassociates into a fugue state. Unresolved ptsd from childhood is a pain.