Marriage Tips 20 Years In | Self Love | Lessons Learned
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- čas přidán 10. 05. 2021
- #maritaladvice #relationshipadvice #selflove
This advice is aimed to help develop self-love, healthy relationships, and to share my experience and lessons within my own marriage. I hope by sharing my perspective that this message is helpful and relative. See you in the comments.
xoxo,
Rachelle
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Hey Everyone! I just posted part 2 of this video here=> czcams.com/video/EykjzCPLKas/video.html Check it out and I hope you enjoy!
@borderhammer, let’s chat! Boy do I have some things to share and understand, lol! Been married since I was 19. Now, 40. Thanks for the advice!!!
Lol, I know the feeling about counting the time. I wish I could be that girl. I see women who know the anniversary of dating , I applaud them.
Congratulations on 20 years girl, 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😊😊
Borderhammer can you please make a update video of your hair
34 years married. Still happy.
28 years and I co-sign on all of this! You also have to know that people change and grow you have to be prepared to get to know them as their new selves.
Hello
How are you doing?
When I see you...i remember when CZcams was CZcams...luv u girl!!!
Yaaaasssss!!!!
Me too
I agree, you're so right I was thinking the best same thing.
Yesssssss 😪😪😪😪😪😪
Yes so true
The CZcams algorithm came through with another timely recommendation 🙌🏾 🔥
Yes..me too! I am happy i clicked on it as well. Definitely subscribed to this channel
What you talked about in the beginning is called “parenting your inner child” and it’s extremely helpful.
WoW this is quite interesting. Maybe this is what I need, I'm 10 years in. Thanks for the tip.
Yes , so true
Most people enter into marriage without realising this .... and then they have to parent the hubs and the 5 children...the home....and keep their jobs..... no way.
OMG! You are the epitome of "black don't crack!" How you been married that long when you don't look a day older than 25?!
I was thinking the same thing! She looks great! 😍
She looks good!
I am actually confused. She is stunning?
*!!!
See the glow when ur happy in ur marriage? She looks lovely. I’m 18 years in and still have a lot to learn. Finally something positive on CZcams. 🙂
Married for 13 together for 15 yes ma'am, everything you said is true. Partner ship, value, honesty...... My husband supports me and is sooo patient with me and I took it for granted. Be willing to go through the ups and downs..
OG CZcamsr! Glad to see this video from you.
Right??? I'm always so excited when I see a video from her 😂
@@TheResetWithEmi Amy!!!!!!!!!
@@SisiYemmieTV Sisi mi ooo 🤗🤗🤗🤗
Definitely an OG
Subscribed to u just now
Those expressions are on point as a sister. She haven’t changed after all these years. Gotta love her.
My husband is an incredible man who has put up with my crazy ass for over 23 years 🤪..I am blessed! 💖
And you know you crazy!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
Lol, I’m crazy too 🤪
Amen! 😂😂
I’m 1 year in. Married at 40. I watched this video twice already. I’ll probably keep watching every time I wanna run 😂
Girl I married late too. One year in as-well and I’m 39. We can’t run yet😂
@@sherine202 🤦🏽♀️😂
😂😂😂You just can't run! It's a forever task🙏
What about when he runs?
I'm 40 and just been married a couple months in and whew! Something led me here...
Whaaaatttt? I screamed because I’ve been watching you for years and I had no idea you were above 30. Wow 20yrs married! I’m impressed, thank God we still have people like you. 😍😘🥰💃🏾
My parents 52 years this coming August. :) I'm not married myself (and their only child). But yes, you barely see that anymore. Used to be people chose one another and stuck together through thick and thin! Especially out of respect for the children. Nowadays? I don't know *what* is going on! :(
@@amixeblu Yeah but I also think that woman back then stayed married because they had to. I know my grandparents where married 50+ years but my grandfather was abusive. My grandmother did leave but they were legally still married. I think alot of younger couples don't even have great examples of a marriage sadly..oh and Hey Marleen!!!
@@annettemint Yes, provided you have a pretty good marriage to begin with. I totally get it! :) Hey you, Viv! I'll be over for one of your vids pretty soon, it's been hectic, what with us getting to go get vaccinated and all. Real life has been a "chore". I will be back soon, I'll see what I can do, but man, time constraints! :)
Right I looked at the title like did she get married out the womb!
MsLexpeacenlove 😂😂😂same
I agree! been married over 30 years and it is a lot of work! Love, respect and commitment. No name calling and deal with issues as they arise! Don't keep bringing up the past.
Love this! I’m 12yrs in know each other for 18yrs. I love my hubby so dearly but the name calling, abandonment(no partnership, letting me handle household things alone(not bills) is beginning to affect me badly to the point that I kind of feel like giving up. How can I stop myself from remembering/bringing up the past?
@@TheDELE1960 you need to do less talking, level up and change your looks/wardrobe. Lots of self pampering. Don't force him to do anything, do what you can and relax, don't try to do everything at once. If you can get someone to do the major cleaning once in a while do it. Focus more on yourself, Complain less. Your husband still loves you but might have taken you for granted. Don't scream, yell or raise your voice, master emotional control. Lastly do lots of praying. It worked for me. Good luck
@@hdiamond7365 Thank you kindly for your advise!!! I’m going to implement this. I forgot to mention that he has raised his hands on me as well in the past and recently. Should this recommendation still apply? We once separated for 6 months and reunited to work on our marriage again but it seems like I love him more than he does. Should this still apply? My 6 years old recently asked me “mommy why can’t you just choose someone else who doesn’t shout” I was shocked! I didn’t know what else to say to her as it took me by shock but I said “ I’m married now perhaps if I was still dating then I would go for someone else. Not the best but that was what I was able to come up with at that moment. I’m praying for God’s will and confirmation as well. I love good, healthy marriage and LOVE as I was raised in a lovely home.
@@TheDELE1960 physical abuse is a no no. When he says he is going to hit you or threaten you. Look him deep in the eyes do not flinch or frown just deep stare with a straight face and say this with a cool calm voice "The next time you raise your hands at me or threaten me again will be the last thing you ever do". Then walk away and continue like nothing happened. The problem is that he is not scared to loose you. That is what you need to work on sis. Love yourself more. Pay him less attention, There are several level up and self love tips on CZcams.
@@hdiamond7365 oh sis!!! You just nailed it. HE IS NOT SCARED TO LOOSE ME. Imagine me an ex-super model. It’s well. Thank you very much🙏🏾
You have such a beautiful spirit. It radiates though the screen! God bless.
This is the first time I'm seeing a vid from you. I am married 9 years and I love to watch vids where people speak about marriage that are in it for a while (longer than me), I am all about learning and improving my marriage. Thank you for sharing.
The part about giving the person room to grow was on point I needed that
“Let them be them too not just yours...”
I'm more of a conservative/classy/sophisticated type of woman and I still attract red men who aren't good for me whether they're attractive, unattractive, Christian or not, have kids or no kids. I realized that I settled in the past but I know what I want now and I'm not budging. My family made me feel like my standards were too high yet GOD showed me they were just right and to never lower them. I'm learning to put myself first and not care about what others think and that it's okay to be selfish when it comes to self love.
This is so my life now. Thank you for sharing. God confirms and validates our personality strengths through predestined gifts he's birthed us with. The world will rather have us shrink ourselves and settle for less than. I thank God for being awakened and standing up for self-love
Don't listen to people because when u cry in your marriage they won't be there. I went with God's standard and trust me the challenges life have presented me with required me to go through it with a good husband. I am thankful to God
Being in love is not enough to be married. That’s a word right there!
Thanks for this conversation.
Fact
Good advice my husband and I been together 22 years and married 20 years our birthdays are 2 days apart making us both Virgos. He was very flashy when it came to clothes and had no patience. When I had more patience but flashy when it came to my personality. We have grown so much together over the years with the good, bad and ugly but I love him and he loves me and we make it work thank god lol.
found your account today, you're officially my auntie for life.
Thankyou for this video 💕 I’m 21 yrs old married for 2 yrs now.. love is definitely NOT like the media shows it. Much more real than that .. love is hard. But I love my man & I kno he loves me so the trials & tribulations couldn’t even compare to the love/joy we have being married to one another
1st: I missed seeing your videos!
2nd: I’ve been watching you from the very beginning. Because of you, I gained the confidence to quit my job and start my business 7 years ago. Best decision ever!Now I’m newly married and we are experiencing the “first year” 😳. So this video was EVERYTHING to me! Thank you for always being open and sharing. I feel like you are my virtual big sister ❤️
You are so welcome! I’m here anytime and congratulations you got this!! ❤️
If you're a woman seeking marriage relationship advice, the best place to get it is from the woman in your circle who know you and are in long successful marriages. If you don't have those people, this is a good place to begin. You definitely don't need to be humiliated by a male CZcamsrs who hasn't modeled this success.
It sounds like so much work! We should be okay being single and not feel pressured to be in a relationship. If it comes, let it come naturally! You sound so real by the way! Thank you for sharing! :)
Needed this 29 years old turning 30 in a few months and just out of a 6 year relationship
This too shall pass ❤️
The best is yet to come sis. Glad you focused on the best project which is you
Omg yes SAME. Just turned 31 in may and ended 6 year relationship as well. Best decision EVER
Same dear!
This is one beautiful woman. My face when you said you have days when you don’t feel pretty 🧐🥸😳
I think self love becomes more important when you in a relationship. Having that good, solid circle around you of friends and family becomes MORE important when you in a relationship. So that person doesn't become your everything. Because relationships test you like nothing else and you gonna need that support and that life outside outside of that other person. You got to be an individual first. whole and fulfilled.
It's such a great moment when the OG's show up. 👋🏾
I am single but I pray that I have a 20+ year marriage. Thank you for this video.
Me too
"they're not going to be perfect, just because you showed up" a word. Jill scott says that alot in her podcast. That were people and have layers and stuff. We have to give people space to be people. Love this. Thank you.
Absolutely true! Marriage is the hardest but you have want your marriage to work and put in work!
14 years and counting 🤗
I’ve been married 18 yrs, been together about 25 also. Have had ups and downs, have only one child and she’s about to be three in October. No other baby mamas or baby daddies. Yes look for the signs very important. Great video and advice.
God bless you sis! Any signs you think are big ones... x
Agree, Agree, Agree! Will be celebrating 5 years in August. I always say that if you aren't sure about who you are, a relationship can really mess u up. I love myself & I love my husband. There are times of up & downs..We have/had communication issues at times because different ppl understand things differently. It requires work. There are days that he makes me so sick & others where I can't stop thinking about how much I love him...it is crazy but that is what happens when you are in love for the long haul.
Yep yep!! You have to love yourself because if you don’t you are looking to your mate to fulfill a good that they sometimes they can’t and that can cause all kinds of problems..
I'm single, no kids, never married. This is the realist I've ever heard about marriage. I'm a realist myself, this was music to my ears. Thank you💕 I'm preparing to meet my spouse.
You should listen to Devon Franklin and Rabbi Daniel Lappin ...same message👌👌👌👌
Hi Tara, thanks for sharing
How are you doing?
This helped me.... Love yourself, have patience, respect is important, don't lose yourself
14 years this month. I completely agree sis! Good to see you! 👑🖤
The most honest marital advice!!!
Been married for 20years? Girl I'm subbing for the beauty tips. Clearly you've found the fountain of youth. 😍
Lol🤣🤣🤣🤣 camping for the fountain of youth too🥰
Wow you look like you're not a day over 25. I would never have guessed that you would have been married for so long Congratulations 👏.
So happy that you’re back !! I hope you’re here to stay !!
Thanks for this, I’m engaged and it’s always so useful getting insightful real conversations from people who’ve walked the path.
Congratulations!!
Saaame, I feel you girl.
Me too
You spoke the ABSOLUTE TRUTH in this video! Loved every minute of it
Something about you, the lighting and this video is sooo warm & comforting! 💕
"I'm good enough." 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾I felt that!!!
💯 % on point for EVERYTHING you said! Almost 14 years of marriage and... My Lord, you have encouraged me! This is absolutely a Marriage Manual! 😊
Girl I love your personality! You are so down to earth!
So glad I found your channel today. You’re so genuine; It’s truly refreshing!
Self Love is so very important!
Thank you for these tips. I took everything in. One thing was clear to me. When you said “ don’t get too familiar” that is strong.
You spoke. the. TRUTH. 18 years for my husband and me and this is spot on! I have to say one of my favorite videos of yours from years ago was a q&a, maybe a tag or whatever was on YT at the time with your husband. I laughed so hard! The commitment, love and respect that you have for one anther was radiant!
I'm so glad to have found you again. Thank you for this, we as women need self-love so we can heal and manifest better for ourselves. Blessings Sis.
You are stunning. That’s a blessing to be together for a long time.
Married for 8 years so far and everything you've said is absolutely true!
These feel like universal life messages. Relationships and soul.
Thank you for keeping it so real, transparent and open. Self love is more important than being in a relationship just because or just for love.
Thank you for sharing your transparency. So glad you're back. ❤️
This video was so good. I’ve been a subscriber for years and will continue to be. Too many people out here looking at these social media relationships that are only highlight reels (and some are fake highlights). This is why people are so quick to be out..... I appreciated your message.
Your candour makes you so beautiful, so alluring, so poised, so magnetic! Already adore you. Thank you for beng so authentic and humble and generous
I got this; I tell myself every day since my therapist told me the same things you said, hug and love yourself. It's a must-do.
This video deserves more than a like it deserves a ❤️!!!! Especially when you said the 80/20. So true. Been married 9 years known each other 15 & I wish I had known about the self love portion before. But wouldn’t change a thing because I learned & he was very patient when I went through it.
This video is just what I needed. I'm not married, nor engaged, but these were worries I had moving into this role one day. You confirmed that my fears are valid. I needed to hear and understand this. I truly appreciate your transparency.
Thank you!!!
Yay! My girl is back!!! ❤️
This conversation is EVERYTHING!! ❤️
So glad that you are back!
10 years in and I can co-sign all that is said here - definitely 80-20 depending on what it is
I’m 17 min in.... and I’m locked in on these jewels. Don’t know how I “stumbled” upon your page... but THANK YOU!!! Divine alignment on their beautiful Wednesday. Blessings 🦋✨🦋
One of the few OG’s that I still watch
Thanks so much for these tips they mean a lot especially in the world today. Often times in this internet world, life, and fake dating coaches we are bombarded with negative messages. Rarely do people give marriage advice and tips, not our family members, no one. This was needed and trust me it will change lives even myself. I enjoyed this a lot!
2 minutes in and I just want to say thank you❣️ May the most high bless your abundantly 💞
Yeah miss lady, I told someone that loving one’s self is the most inpatient thing in a relationship. I was questioned so much. You are awesome girl. Love yourself.
You are dropping knowledge. Best video I’ve seen in awhile. Thank you for always being authentic and loving. I’ve been subscribed for years.
You are EVERYTHING!!! Advise like this is NOT often found!
This is one of the most realest videos that I have seen. We are going on 10 years on September and the bad seasons (years) definitely happen. It is a rollercoaster ride but, the journey is very adventurous. ❤️
Always loved your videos. This one fell into my lap exactly when I need it. 💗 Blessing to you and your husband!
Came across this video and I must agree as a married woman and me and my husband have been together almost 20 years as well and listen it’s no cake walk you are constantly learning and evolving and choosing to love and stay together. That part opposites❤️
Blessings Queen.
This is the best marriage advice I've ever heard! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I've missed you. I haven't seen your vids in years and this popped up. I love how genuine you are. 13:03 - 15:28, you broke that down beautifully. I've often reflected on that and given relationship advice to others trying to convey that same message.
You may be opposites, but the core is the same. All these gems! 🙌🏾
Love your first tip already!!!!!!!! So important ❤️❤️❤️
Girlll!!! I so agree. We chose this together. This was a great video. You remind me so much of myself. It's so important to come into a relationship whole and remain whole. If you don't value yourself, we can't expect others to honor our value. Keep up the encouraging videos. They are needed.
I’m on my second Marriage, I’ve always said you have to embrace the Queen you are love yourself!!!
I appreciate you doing this video because all these are facts. Nobody really prepares people to understand the truth of what it really takes to be in a healthy committed relationship
Talking about missing someone...gurl praise God you are back 🙌🏿💯❤️
Awesome advice! I’ve been married for over 20 years myself.
Oh wow. I no thats right sis. I love when people speak from experience.
So good to see you… it’s been awhile. It’s like talking to an old friend who you haven’t heard from in awhile yet it’s still great conversation ☺️
I don’t know you but I just love your personality and spirit. It’s good to see you back 💕
Thank you for this ❤. Just celebrated 10 years and all of this is so true!
@Light4you thank you ❤
THANK YOU QUEEN I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 28 YEARS AND TOGETHER FOR 32 YEARS; AND YOU TAUGHT ME A LOT TODAY 🤣🤣🤣 GOD SENT YOU TO TEACH ME OL G SOMETHINGS!! GOD BLESS YOU. YALL HUMBLE YOURSELF AND LEARN.🙏🏾😁💕
It is so good to see you again!
My Absolute Fav!!! I missed you so much, glad to have you back
Very refreshing perspective. Thanks for sharing! Great to see you💕
Nice video Rachelle. 32 years married, this was a great description and very good advice.
Right on time! I love this message ❤ thank you.
I have been married for nearly 27 years. This is great advice. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
With all due respect to you and your husband, you look gorgeous! You look so youthful! Keep up whatever you’re doing!
You are on point! I’ve been blessed to be married for 24 years and enjoy having a life partner. You said it, when you’re in it for life the concept of years isn’t as relevant. Most importantly, know your worth! Knowing effects your the choices you make! 💖
Best marriage advice I've heard. Hands Down. This is Real Stuff. Thanks for putting this out into the world.
You are so real. Love it. This video blessed me today. I'm very hopeful to meet someone and remain my authentic self while recognizing I have to embrace his authenticity as well.