THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES #2 - Do Not Open - Horror Narration/Horror Stories
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- čas přidán 16. 03. 2017
- MAG002 - Case #9982211 - Joshua Gillespie
Statement regarding time in possession of an apparently empty wooden casket.
The Magnus Archives tells the tale of foolish student promises and we learn the consequences of making a deal with strangers.
Starring: The Archivist - Jonathan Sims
Writer: Jonathan Sims
Director / Editor : Alexander J Newall
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This guy is literally the living embodiment of "it is what it is"
I just admire him so much that he made the coffin his coffee table
"it is what it is" vs. It Is Not What It Is
Sticking the key in a block of ice to keep it from being used unintentionally is an ingenious way to deal with a scenario where some hypnotic force requires a maguffin.
Fr it was so funny- he was disturbed, but just dealt with it. I aspire to be like him.
Ok ima be honest here
the key in ice trick is fucking genius, i'l keep that in mind for the next time i have to deal with some extremely specific situation.
Hahaha, right?
At first, my solution was to drive a good hundred miles and bury it, but obviously that would have been worse as that would end up in the person sleep walking around outside at night.
Same
t-the next time???
What do you mean...Next time...
The only reason we don't hear about Joshua ever again is because he obviously wouldn't fall for other BS the entities get into.
Literally the smartest character in the entire podcast, we love him
We only had Joshua Gillespie for 1 episode, but he might have been the smartest character in the whole series.
The further I get into the series, the more this rings very true. Hope the guy escaped getting marked as well, otherwise he's gonna be finding more of this nonsense very soon.
@@clayxros576 I’m imagining someone reading that who’s only at episode two and going “Getting what?”
@@maxschechter4156
Lol I said it for that reason. Sink the hook deeper
@@maxschechter4156 Hahaha
@@clayxros576 You evil person 😂😂👀
orange juice: *exists*
the thing: *whomst has awoken the ancient one*
😂
I too would be upset if someone were to use my bed as a table for their juice
Iida Tenya
Hahaha, you don't know how right you are ;)
@@frogonthebikeheh LMFAO I NEVER REALIZED I ACCIDENTALLY GUESSED THAT-
the only smart character who makes the right decisions in this entire podcast
i'll tell you what's in that coffin
nun my fuckin business that's what
Take a shot everytime a character says "I knew I shouldn't have"
only one who comes close is the pig guy
The angler fish guy was smart. He never walked over to give the cig
They all do some smart things in these stories, as much as I've listened so far (just finished episode eight). I mean all the characters are alive to tell the story to the institute - that means that each one made at least one right decision :)
This guy was actually pretty smart, like at the beginning he made some dumb decisions but he adapted and handled the situation really well, especially with the key thing.
to be honest if i was offered 10k bucks while broke and high off my mind i would've taken it as well, how he dealt with it afterwards was very smart, i probably would've kept the key somewhere far away, at his work or something. that that may have gotten discovered.
NAH THE KEY THING THAT WAS SO FUCKING SMART
"Fear can become as routine as hunger" As someone with a really bad anxiety disorder, I related to this line
Yup
It's funny considering the later seasons
Hope you’re doing good and staying safe Sammie. Sending support and hearts. ❤❤❤
@@zacharynguyen7286 Yeah I'm doing a bit better now than I was last year thankfully
yeah I just fold like a lawn chair, ignore noise and the outside world for a little, and pop back up like normal
the casket
orange juice: ❌
rain:✅
This dude somehow survived the Buried and the Lonely, with a “don’t see it, don’t care” attitude
the super power of apathy
Oh that’s the buried fellow I’ve been hearing about welp now that monster been spolied darn
@@chaoslord2550 I don't know how far along you are now, so perhaps this statement is outdated, but don't worry, the Buried is far more than just this; you haven't been spoiled much, but do try to keep out of the comments, because spoilers do abound!
@@peculiarpangolin4638 ah thank you
I'll try and keep out of the comments from now on
@@TheGayestMushroom That's the best advice I can give!
Finally someone who isnt stupid in a horror show
Yeah the author's said he REALLY hates that trope and will be avoiding it at all costs
@@theprideling . . . . thats so funny given the mc and who reads him
well, we only get the statments of those who lived to tell the tale after all
I’m not sure whether I should agree with you on that or be offended.
I present to you: legit the only person smart enough to outsmart one of these horrors in the entire damn podcast
I liked the Tax Man dude though! :D He's a close second.
@@-S.L. hm yes, good addition
not true, anglerfish guy got away too and he did not even step into the trap to begin with
@@arianewinter4266 yeah, but he didn't outsmart being stuck with a horror for a year
One word: Monsterpig
i love how it was clearly trying to make joshua open the casket, but he was like "fuck u no i won't"
He said hell nah and I respect him for it
What I gather is that once he used the money it was deemed as him really accepting the deal and he was supposed to fail the test and open the coffin, being consumed by it or whatever was inside, and when they realized he had passed the test they sacrificed Jhon to it.
Exactly. It must be like how some versions of vampires can't enter your house unless you invite them in. I wonder if John expected the vampire to answer the door
This was exactly my thoughts
Honestly I think the thing in the box was creature called a wendigo because, we wendigo's sense movement/heat signals because there blind, what if when it felt the liquid in the orange juice move when it tapped where the movement was it got upset because it realized it wanted to see what was making the sudden movement? So when they opened it and im guessing pushed john in, it ate him and they didnt return, because the deliverymen weren't normal, probably some weird demon things because this is all just weird XD
@@AlexTrumpet12123 it's not a wendigo, you'll see what it is in season three. It's a set of stairs going down ;)
Ooh boy looking back on this comment after finishing the show-
So in this ep of tma: local drug user finds out haunted coffins are awful roommates but at least he wins the award of smartest horror movie protagonist (the reward is surviving)
And all the money.
And the money he used to afford this cool appartment
I still think this one is my favorite. The guy's just like "I ain't gonna fuck with that." And he doesn't.
The absolute king of staying in his own lane. 👌🏼🤷🏻♂️
"original statement given November 22, 1998" happy statement giving anniversary to what might be the smartest character in the whole podcast. i hope you're still alive and thriving in canon, king!
Vague spoilers for season 5:
I pretty sure not a single person or animal I the world could be discribed as "thriving" rn
@@ZeroOhClock continued vague spoilers (also that username, army??)
i was all caught up on spotify when i made the comment lmao, no worries! just didn't want to spoil/scare off new listeners, and tbf there are a couple of people doing pretty good in canon atm which is why i'm holding on to hope for my boy here
Oh hey it's my birthday
@@starsareglowing more vague spoilers
He's probably fine, I don't think most people died. And seeing where he would be, Joshua more so. I mean traumatized as hell, but alive.
@@Not_Lilly42 I just found the Magnus Archives what the FUCK are you talking about
"I wanted to chase after him and return the money, but something WEIGHED ME DOWN, kept me LOCKED INTO my seat."
unbelievable foreshadowing
Pax ASMR omfg 😂 see THIS is why I’m re-listening
Yeah, he worded that pretty strangely and specifically so I kept it in mind
did you hear his stomach grumble after he said that lol
"IN foreign LAND"
And waking up choking
And a little bit less but "Tim did some digging of his own"
Interesting that the coffin alone must be doing all of that tho, since J is related to the stranger
Truly the king of Minding His Own Business
The best, most chilling part was John's obvious surprise to see Joshua in the doorway. I almost wish there hadn't been the whole bit about screaming, since that seemed to make it a little melodramatic, but overall this was a wonderfully chilling story.
I like the idea that “Jon”, being responsible for traumatizing an innocent man and probably had expected a corpse instead of a disgruntled adult, possibly got his comeuppance in the end
Much as there's a lot of eeriness in living it without the screams, the thought of hiding in one's room while screams echo in your living room.... chilling imo
I mean to be fair the screams of from John being, taken I guess, by the coffin, in Joshua's place I would presume.
There are rules and reasons regarding what occurs in this series happens. Though we do not know them, there are laws. Whatever was in the box needed some kind of tribute, and either the courier service or Jon used randos to pay for it. It just so happened they stumbled onto someone who was smart enough to bypass their scheme, and had to pay the price themselves.
@@clayxros576 Cool, but the criticism of melodrama still stands.
I like to think if I ever got involved as Idiot A in some horror movie plot, this is how I'd handle the situation. Except my immediate reaction wasn't "freeze in ice", but "concrete, use concrete."
My solution would be to lock the coffin with extra measures that I could just destroy the keys to it.
My thought was just to switch the lock on the coffin.
@@b.n.d1540 but that would momentarily open it lmao
@@joroi1083 not necessarily. If you put the new lock on first then take the old one off, it's locked the whole time.
@@b.n.d1540 you right, didn't really think like that. Knowing these horror characters they wouldn't think about that either pfft
major props to Joshua, resisted an eldritch entity's influence for such a long time
the super power of being very apathetic
Honestly, I’m jealous. I couldn’t even resist an eldritch fog in the span of a couple months. 😔
In hindsight, this was almost a warning to Jon not to 'open' the box, or in his case, "don't look" would have been applicable.
Jon, the guy that watched a giant spider eat his childhood bully: Always nice to hear my hometown has at least one spooky story to tell. Gotta appreciate the shout out.
me, who's only two eps in: A wot.
@@Asherlololkkme who's also only 2 episodes in: huh???
I think him spending the money was a sign that he took the deal. Whatever was in the box was sent there to feed. John got feed to it because the other guy didn’t open it
That's actually a really good theory!
Hahaha, you're quite right...
"fear can be as routine as hunger" sure hits different when you've heard season 5.
Oh god.....should I be scared for season 5????
@@poets_and_books5523 you should be scared in general 🙃
That line also applies on people with severe anxiety disorder that just go on with their lives like it's part of the routine
Don't be scared, give them nothing to feed on.
Magnus archives 2: the worst housemate ever
My cousin uses her spare coffin as an ice box at parties. She is an undertaker.
Why the fuck does she even HAVE a coffin 😬
I would like to know why ur sister has a spare coffin
So wait... What does she use her MAIN coffin for? Table???
@@asoaringheart One of my brothers' brothers, Polo (I have no full siblings, only half ones), is a mortician and he uses extra coffins for everyday things. One is a a bookshelf, another is the fridge, one for his goth son's bed, daughter's dollhouse (that one's purple with Catra stickers on), and then, yeah, there's one for his kitchen table, +etc 😊
@@TheXuJasper that's fucking metal dude
Man: **just living in his apartment**
Coffin: ⚰😩
Coffin: ⚰️
Coffin when it rains: ⚰️ 🎤oooOOOoooOoOooo
Coffin when it's raining: It's ability swift swim double the speed of the pokemon under the rain
It’s raining
Coffin:😩😫😩😫
Spoilers
This episode only gets funnier and funnier as you watch the show more and more and realize that this guy had what is essentially the mouth of one of the 14 eldritch ancient fears, delivered by 2 immortal har angers of doom, and this guy used it as f*ckin coffee table and lived to tell the tale.
I'm new to the podcast and have no fucking clue what you're talking about. Does that get cleared up at some point?
@@headofathousandsheepswool yes. Give it time
Maybe put spoilers up, just in case
@@cheeselord3655 good call actually
I would probably use the coffin as a table too
Thats just how it be in Netherlands
That's flat out horrifying!
Wait Shaw what are you doing here
I did not expect to find fanders here but I'm delighted
Two episodes in and already obsessed. The quality, the immersion and overall everything is incredible.
I especially love the effort put in beforehand to explain why the audiobooks are being recorded - it really set the tone.
My dad recommended this to me and I decided to finally start listening while at work. I'm already super captivated and the stories are very interesting to listen to and actually helps me work better as well
Oh, those stories are the best
@@ThePegasiPony I'm starting my 5th re listening to this wonderfully unnerving podcast! I just can't get enough. Every time I finish episode 200, I feel lost and don't know what to do next so, I just start it over again!!
@@mistydevillier2197 i'm glad it's not just me
Everybody in the comments already praised Joshua for not being an idiot so the only other thing I can add is that the dude did not get paid enough for this shit.
Dude got a siren-esc. thing in a box and ligit said “cool cool. I’ll just ignore this”
“It sounded almost like singing, if it was muffled by 20 feet of hard packed soil.” MAJOR FORESHADOWING
Do you know my favorite moment in this? It’s when evil John, in utter shock that Gillespie was not eaten by the coffin, immediately resorts to British pleasantries. “He hoped it hadn’t been too much trouble”??? AHAHAHHAHA
Dude may be part of the Stranger now, but he is English first.
As somebody who's read a bunch of Creepypastas back in the day, my mind immediately went to "Oh boy, he's going to open the coffin majorly fuck something up". Really glad to see a horror story where the main character actively tries to resist doing something stupid.
The Man In The Tan Jacket, Holding A Padlocked Coffin
Is that a reference to my favourite desert town I see.....?🌵📻 👁☁️
@@sarahgrace3488 desert bluffs😍✨
@@tristemandarina9687 :/ I. am. Descustád
The coffin rattles, like it is filled with flies.
all hail the glow cloud
Yep. This is probably singlehandedly this most talked about audiodrama in the places I've looked, and I honestly get why. Only two episodes in and I can tell that I love this one already.
Would you like another here. Welcome to night vale.
I punch the window from the outside and yell “AND ITS GAY”
two years later from this comment being made and I feel the exact same way, like I was expecting something catching but this is another level
An absolute mad lad, the only victim with a brain cell, cannot describe how lucky this guy was
why have people in episode two already forgotten the guy from episode one? Who also did the smart thing and did not enter the trap in the first place?
@@arianewinter4266 literally?? Like that was ONE video ago 💀
Johnathan starts using a spooky narrator voice during his closing statement. Some might say that was the VA breaking character accidentally, but I like to think that Johnathan has a flare for the dramatic.
Yeah. People keep on saying he's a theater kid
@@cheeselord3655 oh he definitely is
Bro said “I aint fucking around and I ain’t finding out “
This guy is pretty smart. Props to him. Especially since John was surprised to see him.
the eldritch horrors can have a little orange juice, as a treat
"Nice too know ghost stories exist in my hometown" God, season one Jon is soo ridiculous, the denial is adorable.
Damn I'm such a people pleaser, that if he told me "hope it wasn't too much trouble" I would reply "oh no, not at all, thank you for coming and getting it."
"I can't tell if his voice is calming or sad," - my bestie while listening to this episode
both! it's both!
I fell asleep to many a TMA episode
I just finished uni in Bournemouth, this show is surprisingly accurate with the locations, etc. Used to go to the triangle every day for a cuppa'. c': And my brother lived on the same Edinburgh street mentioned in episode one. Spooky coincidences, or will I be showing up in the archives of future? who knows.
Jonny definitely does his research! It's cool none of these are approximations and rather backed by experience
Are you an archive yet?
The ads kill me
He's talking about sleepwalking and its all creepy and the music is playing and then I just hear
RAYMOUR AND FLANNIGAN
And I practically jump out of my chair
To this day, this guy remains the smartest character in this podcast.
So nobody remembers literally the FIRST ARCHIVE or what 💀💀
I LOVE this story. Spoiler warning:
I love how it reads at first glance like a vampire story. But its not until much later we find out about the coffin and that's not it at all. The moans are those in the Buried searching for water. So fucking cool the way this was written
Yep. I assumed vampire. I love how they don't use the 'regular' horror monsters.
That's what happens when you open DIO's coffin: you blink and you find yourself already dead inside the coffin :3
Glad it wasn't only me who thought of Dio 😂
@@therakshawolf Ayyy same!!
WRRYYY!!!!
My daughter recommended this to me, so glad she did.
did your daughter like it is that why?
Coffin just wants some num nums
After finishing tma and coming back to the start I gotta say, they should’ve hired this guy into the archives, so much could’ve been stopped sooner if there was SOMEONE WITH A BRAINCELL
joshua gillespie. winner of the idgaf war
Feels like a Pandora's box
"Some might call me a coward"
Something that's supposedly survived for weeks within a closed coffin that has carved into the lid Do Not Open. Seems to me like not opening it is the only rational choice here bud.
This guy absolutely scared the shit out of whatever John was. That was peak ‘what the fuck, humanity, why are you like this?’
I have the sudden urge to close the outside doors and windows and sit in front of a secure wall instead of in the middle of the room.
This is so goooooooood! This episode seriously gave me the chills. I love this sort of horror where you’re left in the dark as to what was really going on, but sometimes gives you tiny clues to make a bigger picture. It’s super intriguing!!!
Elegantly told and very, very frightening. This plays cleverly with various folklore elements embedded in our subconscious: the Faustian pact, the command that Bluebeard gave to his wife etc, and then subverts them by having Joshua win (sorry, that's a spoiler) through prudence and ingenuity.
Also, just a side note, but the background audio is impeccable.
it reminds me of that one folk tale, where the husband tells his wife "have anything you want, but don't open that door." Of course she opens the door, and finds the corpses of previous wives.
@@marymills3581 I think that's the blue beard story that their talking about. It terrified me as a child
Writes down a spoiler and only calls it a spoiler after already making it. Real great idea.
well, if he hid not win, there would not be a statement (probably)
I got here from Overly Sarcastic Productions, I've already listened to episode 1 and started episode 2, I'm loving it so far!
Ayyy same! I’m on twenty now and going back to write down some important details.
Ayyy! OSP gaaang!!
Same I’m on 175 I think
SAME!!!!!!
LOOKS LIKE "WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE" HAS A TWIN!!!!!!
Same!!!
Oh my goodness, his voice is so soothing and soft that when the ad came on toward the end it was very loud and made me jump
Jonathan Sims could sing me a lullaby
okay, i love the duality of the statement giver's extremely bad judgement in accepting an absurdly sketchy offer, and his ingenuity in finding a practical solution to a really spooky and dangerous situation. warm coffin that moans when it rains and scratches at stuff put on top of it has started making you sleepwalk to go unlock it? freeze the key in a bowl of ice! i love how unprepared this john guy was for him to actually survive his time with the coffin. sounds like it caused him to lose a pretty rough bet. i don't really know what to make of the closing notes? the defunct shipping company is intriguing, but what does it mean that this guy spent 2 years living in an otherwise empty apartment building? also, nice to get a little detail of the narrator's life! don't know if it'll mean anything, but now we know he grew up in a beachy coastal town.
THIS IS LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON WITH COMMON FUCKING SENCE IN THIS WHOLE PODCAST OH MY GOD
IKR?!?! I JUST FINISHED LISTENING TO ALL OF IT AND BRUH HE IS THE SMARTEST ONE OF ALL!!
Really liked this. I was washing my car just listening and finding myself stopping at times to listen closely.
when I first read this I thought you said you were driving the car and stopping to listen closely and was rather concerned
Ah yes, Architects. The most sensible people to have in a supernatural situation. Also the profession I chose to pursue.
Epic.
The creepiest part of this whole thing has gotta be that he was living by himself in a deserted building😭 like was he even aware?? And was it intentional??
This episode gets funnier every time you relisten to the series
Nah when they said that the other seven flats in the building were vacant I felt chills down my spine 😓
I was literally just thinking that he should try freezing the key in a block of ice (its what my parents did to prevent easy use of their "emergency" credit cards) when the character actually goes and does just that. Love when character in horror stories actually think and make smart decisions.
It’s 11 at night, I am doing my workout routine. I can’t stand repetition and my mind gets very bored very quickly so I was looking for an immersive podcast to listen to to get my mind off of the mind numbing movements. I’d heard of this so I thought I’d give it a try, but you know what? Not tonight. I’ll wait until tomorrow, in daylight and around people, before I finish listening to this. I’ll go back to Critical Role for now.
Kinda creepy I was just watching critical role
@@fauxflame5309
It begins
Working out at night is a bad idea. It screws with your ability to sleep. You should try to do it earlier if you can.
Ofc he's English lmao! Anywhere else the coffin would've been open on day 1. He just turned the Telly louder to ignore the ominous sounds. I'm laughing so hard!
We're listening to this series for like the 7th time with some really high quality headphones is a trip. 5:02 you can hear creaks in the floorboards under Jon's chair!
Took me 3 listens to hear this and now I'm only listening to the podcast with earbuds/headphones
King of “let me mind my own business”. Love that for him.
Incase it in ice, smart as hell.
Even if his sleeping self would go to break it open, the cold wakes him up first. This man is big brain to say the least.
This chapter/case-file took on a tone I was not expecting.
The direct predation of the "Anglerfish" was not present here. Instead, it delved into the sensation of curiosity, but one that required active suppression because of something akin to a lulling siren or pied-piper.
Common threads I've noted:
The PoV/victim is inebriated, lost, and lured. The subject is mostly concealed, making eerie vocalisations.
At the end, it is a trap that leaves no trace of an individual.
Maybe the inebriation provides clarity into "elsewhere", and maybe being lost leads our PoVs closer to wherever this "elsewhere" is, if it even is a somewhere. If it's an in-between, then it'd makes sense that their pursuers need to coax them to the otherside. Somewhere that's much harder to leave once you're there.
I'm excited to continue listening, and maybe I'll narrow in on the nature of these mysteries, or if they're connected at all.
[23:A:31:01-21=10] "Do Not Open"
Im not usually a fan of horror or stories with no ending but, I love this series!
There is, absolutely, an ending.
There's an ending, and the story is convoluted AF but oh so addictive
Episode 2 of a long crusade to watch all of this. I'll probably be an archivist meself when I get to the end.
How's it going?
@@BeautifulEarthJaVery well, I am an intern assisstant in a Geneology and Heritage archive. And am in the process to apply for a more prestigious institution while I transfer to a new college
Oooooh
I see. Interesting story. Very refreshing protagonist too. A very adaptable and smart cookie.
Joshua has self control I could never dream of. I would've opened it even with the clear signs telling me not to.
Oh, Joshua. None of us know what happened to you, but we wish you the very best for the rest of your days.
Clever! Very clever, and quite a bit of fun. Did roll my eyes a bit as soon as we started detailing the Amsterdam trip, but it fit the character so well in the end that I really don't have a gripe with it. Loved the smashing of the ice as well - "ah yes, thank you for the abomination. no it was FINE." *snicker
Ah yes, the only answer expected from a british person receiving a coffin : let's make a cuppa tea xD
Reminds me of that one meme that goes "Oh no! Anyway"
I was listening with my eyes closed with my game headset on 😭 and an ad played really loud. I almost shit myself lmao
My guy actually was smart unlike all other guys in similar situations
This is my favorite episode. Joshua is truly a King for resisting *[REDACTED]*.
Joshua is the best horror protagonist ever
Just came here to say this is the best episode of the podcast . When he starts waking up with the key to the coffin in his hand I started freaking out it’s SO GOOD
The horror protagonist we all needed.
this is probably my favorite episode still. it's just so creepy, especially the realization towards the end.
Damn, the man in this statement was so smart that even the guy who gave him the money for the package and the two delivery guys were suprised.
The undead couldn't harm him because it was in the *living* room - duh
SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE SHOW
I've never seen anyone mention this but is the empty apartment complex The Silence (Peter Lukas' ritual)? The whole empty apartment thing has always stood out to me because it's the only part of the story that doesn't get explicitly explained later. John and the Coffin are related to the Buried. Breekon and Hope are part of the Stranger. An empty apartment building is not either of those entities' M.O; it's a lot closer to The Lonely.
I read a comment that mentioned that instead of succumbing to the buried, our boy and been, if not, then in a closer bind, to succumbing to the lonely. Though I didn't expect that this was the site of the silence ritual, even upon my second re-listen. God, I love how you can see the sprinkled details like how John is described to have a heavy presence and that the singing from the coffin were those of its victims or how the rain would invoke the scratching as how it would the "worms" in the buried's domain after the Great fear feast. I truly love this show.
My sister is obsessed with this series so I'm here because of her. So far I'm enjoying it, uhhh DaughterofSomnus sends her regards.
Oh the songwriter. Tell her I loved her songs about TMA. Especially the one about the End
third time im listening to this podcast in one month. Jonny's voice is so addicting.
(21/7/21 9:09 AM) The iced key part was GENIUS
A coffin in the living room. Quite ironic
Voice of the Contrarian: But what if… we DID open it? Or better yet… THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW?!
Thank goodness he was tenacious enough not to open the coffin.
I don't blame Joshua for being pissed off though. He was clearly being set up to die.
23:45 The fuu-