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#8 NO CONTACT WITH THE NARCISSIST what happens when you break that rule
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- čas přidán 14. 08. 2024
- The key when leaving a narc is no contact. Here's what happened when I didn't follow that
Don't forget to like my page Narcissists Schmarcissists
Buy my book in paperback or Kindle here; www.amazon.com/dp/0578673517/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_eQILEbJF7VY9W
That's my thoughts too. No one sees emotional abuse. Unless you've been their, you don't take it seriously. There are no physical bruises or scars. Only the scars on our heart
Heartbreaking to see his damaging impact written all over your face and soul. I know exactly how it feels, when you momentarily lost that sense of self and integrity. It is so painful and takes away your dignity. Thank you for sharing. It shines a strong light on my own situation🌟
Thank you💕
Even though this is a few years old, my heart still goes "Don't be [hard on yourself], mama! They suuuck!" They kind of remind me more of psychic alligators (alongside psychic vampires)...sitting there, creeping under the water, waiting for you to get close, so they can pull you under.
We just need to get more practiced at being like the long-legged bird that uses them as a lily pad--seriously, how badass is that and are they!? We just don't realize we can easily fly away and not take their threats seriously, as they're largely a joke. We just have to learn how to deal with them, and hearing other peoples stories is So incredible and such a tool of healing for Everyone!
Thank you for sharing your story and experiences! Glad you got out, so many people don't.
Please remember that I narcissist will always implode they have the emotional capability of a six-year-old it's like living three different lives at the same time it's exhausting for them to never be wrong to constantly try to manipulate everyone they burn themselves out
They provoke u. When u understand the behavior it’s GAME OVER for them.
When you went through this awful day/time it was two day before I left my Narcissist using a safe plan after our 30 year marriage. I wish I had made videos of what I was going through like you did. I cannot even believe that I survived. He was more of a Psychopath according to Dr. Ramani's definitions of personality disorders.
Boy can I relate to that! How many times do we here just get over it! I am a Christian and many Christian women in my family have said well there's nowhere in the Bible that says you can leave your husband for emotional abuse. I disagree with that. If my husband had not been willing to go to deep therapy for his issues I would've been out of there with no regrets! He is still a work in progress and we have yet to see if we will make it that's why I've been slowly working on rebuilding my career which is going great! Of course as all of us victims know we have to be very careful about this as they will become immediately suspicious of drastic changes we make & not only will they exert their control but that's when the berating starts to try and diminish our self confidence in our endeavors. You are courageous u must know that and believe that! I always say you're beautiful and you still are but you look so drained that look is so familiar to me that's what they do to us
look for me on Facebook, my profile and page. Nora Rodriguez (Narcissists Schmarcissists) I'd like to use that to communicate with everyone. It will speed up response time for me :)
@@NarcissistsSchmarcissists I cannot comment on Facebook. First, he may find it. Second it has been counseled to me not to discuss this topic on fb right now.
They need an exorcism not just therapy
I think you benefit from mistakes and history. You know that history always repeats itself and especially for a narcissist. Today was affirmation again.
I am so sorry. It happened to me too. I really reacted badly. Mine ...26 years married. Gay in closet. Blamed me saying that I didn't try to prevent it. What?? So much more of course. Omg! It's a total nightmare
Narcs whether mother, siblings, friends, partners, ex never want to see you happy and growing in life. We must all protect ourselves first and put ourselves first.
I agree!!! You can't pour from an empty cup!
You're courageously courageous. It's hard to take real encouragement after narc abuse. Please receive it!!
Only found your channel recently and think it's really good.
Thank you so much for the positive feedback! Let me know if there is a particular topic or question you have for future videos. nmarie350@gmail.com
@@NarcissistsSchmarcissists I may be emailing you
I'm sorry he rattled you. He's been doing it for 24 years so he knows where the buttons are. I wonder if this was a set up. You went during the day to get your things from your home. You had a right to access your home and retrieve your things.
I wonder if someone tipped him off so he'd be there, or if he has been waiting for you to come back. I would assume that he set everything up to set you off and call the police.
It seems these days that narcs call the police very, very easily over nothing.
Ollie Matthews would have told you to tape the whole thing. Tape going to the house and what you took. It would have caught the scene on tape and shown him bating you.
It's hard to keep the cool, I wonder how will I react if I run into him. just 2 weeks since I left him.
Remind yourself that you took his power away by leaving. You're in control now. ;)
I really feel for you. I can see the exhaustion on your face in some of your videos. You are showing an incredible amount of strength whether or not you think you are. A) Were those police officers men? I think that this is a relevant question because they really don’t understand the impact of abusive relationships on women especially, or perhaps on anybody, even themselves, at least, not initially. B) Most police forces don’t really have much or enough training in this area and this is why they don’t support women especially in these types of situations, unless they see bruises and broken bones etc. (The one thing I believe is that laws were written by men, for men. They have never protected women and children as well as they seem to protect men. And male police officers always seem to give husbands a pass in so many ways when dealing with relationship issues/conflicts.) I don’t believe a lot of people understand because they haven’t lived it. It’s difficult to recognise the impact on the one who has been abused because perhaps it’s not part of their life experience. Those of us who have lived it, really do understand. If I could offer one line of encouragement, I would say that it’s crucial to remember that your soon-to-be ex-husband got to you for part of one day. One day. That’s it. He hasn’t won at all. Think about all the days you’ve been happy since he’s been out of your life, (more or less). Even though he looks like a smug bugger who’s enjoying your distress, I have no doubt he’s really seething inside and will be for a long, long time because you dumped him and are divorcing him. The best way to keep him off balance, if that works for you, is to live your best life and enjoy the new relationship you have now. That is how you keep your ex out of your head and have him wallowing in his. Good luck and God bless! ❤️💪🏻🙏🏻
💯
What happens is that Gods Grace comes in,
understand this and choose life, Jesus said that life and death is in the power of the tongue 💯
Hello.. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing your story.. I needed to hear this and going through this right now. :-(
I’m so sorry for you ! You are entitled to your things ! Yes their hateful to the core ! So predictable and pathetic running to the police over that. God bless you.
I suggest everybody to learn and master a technique called ODA “Observe Don’t Absorb”
Mainly related to the Start Trek character Spock 🖖🏼
This has been used to recreate and simulate the lack of empathy providing the tools and self awareness to not be triggered and create a very good protection from every interaction with Cluster B personality disorder.
You are welcome! 😃
Absolutely Mark, totally correct. My ex rushed my car once hoping I would crap my pants, he ripped open the car door and I didn’t move and the wind went right out of his sails
Of course he pushed those buttons and got those reactions!!! He installed the buttons! He installed the program!! Evil.
You nearly quoted my book! I mention that in there saying HE created them, all the buttons be persistently pushed! It’s sad we know them so well. You are obviously speaking from some experience and I hope you are healing💖 ~ N
@@NarcissistsSchmarcissists
That is such a good statement. He created the buttons so of course he knows how to push them. My head is still reeling after 9 months after being discarded. I still question if it was me after all.
It was his bad AROMA that caused the problem. There lies the importance of staying no contact. ☠☠☠
They LOVE to see you react!! Especially negatively smh I know this feeling/experience all too well. Shame how they do any and every thing to disturb your peace for their own self and sick enjoyment!
NO CONTACT🙌😉
I feel your pain. Because in addition to my experiences, I dated a real piece of trash. Just leaving a path of chaos. But at one point I texted him after some time because I was so angry and thought I'd need therapy to deal with my anger against him. I proceeded to tell him he was trash and all the reasons he was. He told me enough so I had enough ammunition to know he's a piece of shit. After all that, I felt such relief. A weight had been lifted.
they make you react on purpose so they can feel like they are superior to you. Its so sad!
Thank you for your comments. No contact is the only answer.
I’m soooo sorry to hear about your day. Just think of it as a gift of thank you to get you super pumped about life W/OUT him!
You have other Sisters out here girl.
it happens because he goes right back to where he legt off. Humiliation, putting he ugly hateful opinion on other about me. its ugly so I confronted. him. he just mafe me feel ugly.
We've always been told leaving a partner is the most dangerous time for a gal trying to get away from him. Were you ever fearful of your physical safety during this time period? I can't imagine leaving my narc without him wanting to cause physical harm in retaliation for leaving.
I wish that language was clean with no foul language.
But it is what it is.
This is me...I am desparately trying to get away..
Good luck to you! Stand strong! You deserve to be happy!
They seem to keep a mental tally of our vulnerabilities, not for the purpose of a partner caring or empathy (they don't have it), but to use against us at some point in the future. The way to win an argument or one up us when they need it. Hit below the belt. I've come to realize that this is actually enticing us to sin. To bring us into their ugly, painful gutter with them. Don't beat yourself up. We just have to stay out of their traps.
Your right thanks
thank you for these videos. I was with my narcissist for 4 yrs off and on. I found out 1 yr into relationship he was married. Eventually he divorced but his ex would not leave him and he didnt really leave her. She and I had a weird relationship almost friends. We'd call each other to see where he was. This was so messed up. Eventually I felt I was going crazy and cut him off getting a RO when he got physical with me. It's been 1 month and so far no contact from him.
This is a warning for the abused to get your things out of the house before you leave.
Just found your site. How helpful you have been! I am going through this now, no contact is best. How did you get your personal belongings in the end?
Thank you! Legally, through the divorce proceedings
Hey, I am going through a similar issue. It's about a car he drives that's under my name...I have the insurance company send him the renewed policy every six months...and I am afraid to tell him that he needs to get his own policy. Very difficult to approach this without him hurting me emotionally again.
AngelaFromFlorida my initial thought was.... Report the car stolen and have I'm arrested. Sorry. Talk to your insurance company about this. Sounds like a huge liability for you if he's not covered. I'm really sorry you're in that situation
After a few years of no contact my Narck ex-wife finally got in contact with me I don’t know how she got my number but is soon as she got on the phone she bombarded me with all her lies and her deceit all her games all her gaslighting it was actually comical to hear my only response to her was I literally believe nothing that you’re saying to me right now what I’m gonna say to you next is only a person who has survived narcissistic abuse could understand that person today lent money to pay me back I make sure that the overdrive button on the cart is always on oh and I had a child I literally told her I don’t believe you had a child I believe nothing that you’re saying to me right now she had no response and I hung up
It sucks girl i know
How did you get your things? Did he get to keep them?
In the end, I got everything and I wanted and more! Without the dead weight of that loser. Funny, none of it really mattered by the time it was over. I was already building a new life and didn't really want the old reminders. I hope others learn from my videos and they help to give clarity about what is really important. Freedom. Freedom from the abuse is what matters most! 🙂
Oh and yes my ex-wife was physically abusive to me she would pinch me so hard never hit me but pinch me so hard she would draw blood from my arms God for bid if I ever did that I’d be in jail right now oh and yes she would also tell me in that conversation The last post that I did before this one how she still kept shoplifting everywhere she went with her newborn child because in the end I couldn’t go anywhere with her without her shoplifting I would have to walk on egg shells that’s her that’s my nark
Franklin Bujans yup, they are crazy!
That really is crazy!
so sad
Why did he get the house
He was in it during the separation because I left his sorry &$$! It was sold and split in the divorce😉
Dont worry. They feed of the emotional reactions. Narcs are demons. Natc women and natc men.
Ok; so how did u two meet in the first place anyways?
When I met that loser he was selling shoes. Yes, love is blind and dumb! He'd still be selling socks and shoe inserts if it werent for me coming into his life! LOL
Hey I need your help can you please respond back.. Thank you
Hi Janique
I feel your pain. Because in addition to my experiences, I dated a real piece of trash. Just leaving a path of chaos. But at one point I texted him after some time because I was so angry and thought I'd need therapy to deal with my anger against him. I proceeded to tell him he was trash and all the reasons he was. He told me enough so I had enough ammunition to know he's a piece of shit. After all that, I felt such relief. A weight had been lifted.
No contact is the only way to go.