Truths About Marriage (sorry if I am being harsh)
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- čas přidán 22. 05. 2024
- Hey my loves!
Welcome to my CZcams channel! In this video, I talk about marriage. If you enjoyed this video, please don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe ♡ ♡
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FAQ
Age - 25
Camera - Sony ZV-E10
Editing - iMovie & CapCut
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Timestamps
0:00 - intro
1:20 - truth #1
2:58 - truth #2
4:30 - truth #3
5:42 - truth #4
6:37 - truth #5
7:34 - truth #6
8:09 - truth #7
9:08 - truth #8
10:05 - truth #9
10:27 - truth #10
12:12 - bonus truth
12:51 - outro
I agree attraction is important to me. I dont expect a model at all but I want to find my husband attractive to me even if others dont think hes attractive
Isn’t that just a basic thing to expect from a marriage? Lmao funny how we’ve made it into some kind of unexpected thing we need to accept
“Take advantage of five before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before your busyness, and your life before your death.”
- Prophet Muhammad ﷺ
How relevant is this hadith today?
No
@@Emptytopfloor yes! Most definitely! The truth has spoken!
yes
Very relevant
Very relavant
1 its important who you marry not when
2 families need to like each other and you. love between you and spouse is not enough
3 marriage is not gonna save your live
4 attraction is important
5 you need to know how to communicate before marriage
6 don’t think too much about celebration dress location
7 take advantage of your life now don’t wait until marriage to do certain things
8 you need to have hobbies/
Sense of community
9 partner needs a relationship with god
10 healthy coping mechanism (no drug addicts)
thanks for the summary
You really cooked with the "Trying to cheat off each others exams- when were taking completely different classes" the marriage journey is most certainly not linear 🙏🏽
That is BS trust me. She was on point on the part of the manners of the man before marriage and the meher. The rest, she doesn't know what she is talking about. I also doubt she tried these things. Don't be her experimental mice.
The attraction part is soooo true men would never marry a girl who is not attractive to them so why would I marry someone who I don’t find attractive lmao 😂
Absolutely there should be a certain degree of attraction but that’s not everything. ❤
And attraction usually also a sign that he is your future husband
Yes girl, believe me I was engaged to someone who I wasn’t attracted to, not that he was ugly but he’s not my type. Everything else was also un compatible, but it still bothers me to this day that I gave time to someone I wasn’t even attracted to 💀
Exactly!
Men can definitely marry someone they’re not 100% attracted to because they might want something else from her but women are waaay more visual than men
I've been going through anxiety because of society pressure of getting married but after listening to this something eased. Thanks sister 🤲
Marriages don't work nowadays!
its not society sweet heart. let me be honest. its called biology
6:15 so real finally seeing Muslim women speaking about it I can’t nd that’s one of the reasons why I’m single I literally can’t be with someone I’m not attracted to I tried but it doesn’t work we gotta let women have their own preferences when it comes to physical attraction
It’s not about him being so handsome or whatever no just I have to be attracted to that man that’s it
Tell me about it. My mom tried to give my number to her friend’s son so I asked for a picture to see what he looks like before I agree. How is she calling me shallow for caring about looks 😂
this is why it is important to seek knowledge on our deen. attraction is an important matter in islam, and it is a valid reason for to reject someone for it. as attraction can influence a lot of things, and not being attracted to ur spouse can effect ur marriage in a negative way. so while choosing a husband or wife, consider also if u feel attracted to them or not.
And I thought I was weird I didn't want to get to know anyone that I didn't find attractive. We are conditioned to think that as women.
But I personally cannot imagine to do the deed with a person that I am not attracted to at all and marriage does consist out of that for a major part.
Especially in Islam, where your duty as a wife is being available whenever your husband wants you to but no one is speaking about that 😂
THIS!!! I was introduced to a few and was told to get know them and give them a chance. But I didn't even want to entertain the thought of giving them a chance. I just simply wasn't attracted to them.
What hurt the most was some of my family members pushing me. They just didn't understand and told me it isn't all about looks and deen is the most important thing to look for in a spouse.
But see, beauty IS an important criteria to look for as well.
If I can't even imagine holding hands with this person (let alone doing the deed) what makes you think I'm gonna give them a chance?
It's sad how men in some cultures just gets to pick and choose a girl they're attracted to and now the girl just gotta be grateful to even have been picked and have to get to know him...
If men were more visual than women they’d care about beatifying themselves and their homes etc don’t let ppl fool you men will sleep with anything, they care about what a woman can do for them whether that’s looking after them, have their children or for their reputation they are more driven to make choice based on service and honour a woman can provide not looks, she can be very average, divorced, has children etc it’s not important
This!!! I always think about and it's better not get married to a you aren't attracted to than to get the angels curse you.
@@s_f5914 because men think they own woman
@@fadilabsadiq3539 that hadith is false by the way...
atleast check your facts people. You really think God would let the angels curse you if you were tired and didn't want to have sex? That wouldn't be fair الله حرم الضلم على نفسه.
omd, so real girly! Especially, the part about being attracted to your future husband. I feel as a girl, I just have to accept any nice guy even tho I am not one bit attracted to him :-(
No no nooooo, why do people think like this 😢
Don't
I am married at 21 my husband is 27, to expect that the other partner has to be this has to know how to communicate is unrealistic if you yourself can’t do those things. Sometimes it’s best to learn together and grow together and SubhanAllah that love you build doing that is priceless. Some women have too high expectations when the real world functions a bit differently.
It’s not a high expectation to want a husband who knows how to communicate. Also, communication is not an unrealistic expectation in a partner. If you chose to marry a man who didn’t know how to communicate and was willing to stick with him while he learned then I admire your sabr but I don’t think you should advise women to lower a very minimal standard.
When our prophet PBUH married Khadijah radiallahu anhumaa she was the wealthy one
New revert here. Loved how you articulated yourself and you gave me so much to think about. I’ll gladly subscribe. Thank you for this message. Alhamdulillah
I’m a Christian woman but this was so helpful, a great reminder honestly. Thank you 😊❤(this is the first time I’m on your page so I’m not sure if it a religious page, like how Christians have Christian related advice on their CZcams channel but yeah, that’s why I said what I said)
hello, I really do think that you can apply everything to the Christian faith. Its really similar and both hold beauty in itself. Best wishes
The bonus truth got me XD. You have a good sense of humour !! I was recommended this video by the algorithm and I'm so glad I watched it. It was like getting useful life advices from an elder sister. I hope you get all the success and happiness that you deserve :)
نصيحة جميلة اتمنى ان يرزقنا الله ازواجا صالحين
mA can't help but notice how crisp the quality of your video is! You are flawless
Very well spoken sister, very articulate and clear. Girls listen to her advice all of it is true.
GIRL I LOVE YOUR VIBE SOOO MUCHH! TAKE LOVE💞💞
She speaks facts mashallah! As a couples counselor, I concur these things are very important.
What a spitfire, so true 😂. The one about potential is something I need to work on coming out of my previous relationship, and being a better partner to myself instead of prioritises someone else and their life goals in the hopes that they will respond in kind. I could totally see myself being friends with Jemila, what a great video. I also agree with the point about attraction, I would be happy with 5ft9 since I'm 5ft4, and the beard is a whole thing!
Sis you dropping gems I tell people these things all the time being marriage looks perfect but it’s not it’s work and you definitely have to make sure your picking the right spouse and I tell my girls to make istikhara for it and your challenges won’t completely change because of marriage!
This is just super nice and relatable!!!. I will save this. I especially agree with communication and hobby part. The family part would be my biggest concern as my family is not the most tightly knit type and I think it does not totally make or break the marriage but it can strain it. Thanks for sharing these!!!!. Barallahu fih!.
Jemila when I tell you I’m obsessed with your CZcams channel. I can see a reflection of myself in you & the potential we have to thrive as Black Muslim women when we are honest with ourselves & center our beautiful faith. Love you fisabilillah habitbi, keep being amazing!
Why are you bringing your colour into it?
Ma’Sha’Allah great video with great points
Love your advice once again :) many people need to hear your point of view.
Thank you sister subhannallah i needed to hear that! Keep going you're amazing
You ate this video up Allahumma Baarik
I love the video, it was very eye opening, keep it up girlie, excited or your new videos
A message everyone in the Ummah needs to hear
Nope
@@ahmedmohammed5350 what's wrong?
This is so good, everyone should watch this ❗️
MsA, you’re very articulate, wise, and to the POINT 👏🏽 Keep it up!
MsA??? just say MaashAllah 😭
May God bless you. This is the first video I watch of yours and it summarizes all I’ve been thinking about in one nice video 🤍
your videos are so amazing Allahuma’barik🫶🏻 may Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى reward you for helping sisters out
Just found your account and loving the videos! Almost feels like I’m having a one-on-one with a BFF. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
You’re beautiful sister. Both in the way you talk and the way you look 💓
Amazing advice ❤❤ love the watermelon plushy 🍉
Insightful stuff! Truly enjoyed this video sister Mashallah!
Sooooo helpful and eye-opening! Thank you
This is actually an amazing video & kind of different from other marriage talks.
Love ur energy❤
Most friends tell me to not get married because the guy usually doesnt help them at home allthough he promised it to them before getting married, even when both are working full-time
Put the agreement in your marriage contract. If he breaks it you can easily divorce him if he won’t change his behaviour.
I cant fanthom getting married, both of us are working plus I have to do most of house chores. I hope your friends are not contributing financially even a bit
You're friends are right!
Then she has to stop working and ask him to spend on her. Easy. Don't do extra and ask for more.
@@Jahannam.BS. They are not right. They simply can stop working and stay at home and ask their husbands to take full responsibility
This was very educational, may Allah bless you with a beautiful spouse 🤲🤲
Wow! I really loved this video Jemila! Mashallah!
Sis u speaking factssss❤❤❤❤
This is amazing ❤❤❤
Love your sense of humour lol ❤😄.. Ma shaa Allah.. great content
Love your videos girlie
Very inspiring and great advices 🎉
Thank you ❤️
Really helpful advice thank you sister 😍🤲🏼
OMG YESSS I needed oxygen today!!! 😊❤
i’m an atheist…..but I would NEVER cheat on my significant other. Why would you even marry someone if you are just going to cheat on them. If you love someone you would NEVER cheat on them, and if you don’t love the person you are married with, even praying can’t help you. Guys who cheat… girl… they ARE going to cheat AND pray like wtf???
I’ll be honest- I was skeptical when I saw this video on my feed (you know since the marriage topic is oversaturated like you mentioned) but this video is bars 💯 you’re wise. And girl the attraction- we women always have our lack of attraction to a potential dismissed in a way that would *never* be the case with a man
Not the case. Plenty of mn marry based on factors other than beauty
And the topic is oversaturated in what way?
Very wise words!
Beautiful video❤❤❤
Becarful when it comes to marriage!
Woow we have same name Jamila ❤ happy to see you dear
Who think that marriage is to fill up your life , i would say that it can be other ways too
You have to lost something too
You have to dedicate too
You have to accpet the change of your couple when getting older
Marriage is not easy for me
Attraction 💯
This video was well done.
I was looking for a vid like this for ages
Alhamdullilah.🎉 found this channel. I automatically subscribed.❤
Rule:1 Both parties should fear Allah (SWT) should’ve been the first one
Thank you
My cat got startled and woke up at the alalalaalaa at the end😂
mashaAllah sister thank you so much for this video 🙏🏻🤍 Allah y jazik khayran. 🤍
watching this to cement my delusions 🙂↕️
I agree with every single thing u just said 👏👏👏
hi darling, bye darling... love the energy
I'm 38 and you schooled me
Great 👍🏽
10:43 so true and coping mechanisms that aren't great don't all have to be haram. There are guys I know who are gamers who rather spend time with the an xbox than their wives and turn around and say that they aren't doing anything wrong.
Subscribed coz you COOKED
the bonus truth was the most important one hahahahahaha
Marriage feels like a jail sentence 💀
Its half of deen for a reason 😊
@@authoisaifyhalf of Deen is jail?😅
@@authoisaify marriage is not affordable now days, but Muslims with wealth should definitely get married
Then you need to change your mindset.
My uncle is 32 and he has a lot these qualities you are looking for babes reach out to me before it’s to late 😭😂😂😭❤️
But why dont I hear any reference to Qur’an, Hadith or Islamic tradition. Why I don't hear the main purpose of marriage, and what roles are we supposed to fulfill?
7:05 how i can work on my communication? Like what should i do?
How about stop being so obsessed with marriage? It's not the end all and be all of life, a lot of humans regardless of religion need to stop being so Disney brained
There is a perfect time to get married. With each passing year, getting married for a woman becomes harder especially after 30. You are giving terrible advice. I agree totally with the families getting along if that's possible.
I'm guessing your "perfect time for marriage" is probably younger than 30. I know someone who got married at 19 and ended up with a divorce at 22 because her husband kept on drinking. She's saying we should focus more on the type of person we are marrying rather than at what age. I don't think it's terrible advice at all , sure it does get harder to get married once you're in your 30s but just because you think getting married younger would be "perfect" simply because you have a higher chance of proposals does not mean that those men who are showing such interest in you are actually going to be what you want in a marriage. Please don't hate, I'm very grateful for her posting this advice from what she has learned because I'm 21 and kept telling myself I have to get married before I'm 25 otherwise that will be too old. Her point is that marriage is not always everything. I know plenty of people who got married young , put up with so much over the years and are now divorced and suffering the consequences. Ofc there are those of us who still do want to find a real love-match in marriage and a fairy tale ending but life is unexpected. I say don't give up hope but I hope you get the point.
If all we are focused on is what age we are when we get married then that will lead us to becoming desperate for anyone for as long as we at least get that proposal. There is no rush , legit just find the right person who you know can treat you right in one. Imagine being in a marriage at 20 with someone who is treats you horribly and when you're finally divorced you wish you never entered that marriage with that person in the first place. That's her point.
@@ladybug4499 these things aren't mutually exclusive. My wife married me at 18, she's still married to me. I don't drink. Maybe she shouldn't have married someone who drinks if that's what matters to her. My first wife married me at 25, she's still married do me. Both were young and both have children and both don't have mental issues and baggage because they only ever knew one man. This is European cultural nonsense this girl is talking about here. The advice actually in Islam is to marry young.
@@coachdebruynsWell said
@@ladybug4499The Prophet Muhammad SAW asvice was to marry young. And we should give preference to righteousness
Great video 🤍 Are you married?
Salaams sister! I have the same name Alhamdulliah ☺️. Inshaa Allah we have to be mindful of wearing makeup in front of strange men.
What are you talking about? I kinda get what you are saying but time matters. The older you get, the harder it gets. So girls should not delay marriage on purpose. Check if the boxes are ticked then try. You can also divorce.
Many men also delay marriage on purpose. It’s not a one-sided issue.
1st 🎉
Ahahahaha so real about chatgbt 😂
50% discount 🤣😭😭😭
50% discount 🤣🤣
What makes a man attractive?
Salams jamila u r beautiful ma sha Allah no need for make up and causing fitna
Love love love this video BUT WHERE ARE YOU FROM YOUR ACCENT IS CONFUSING MEEE 😭😭😭
Where are you from
Attraction is so important 💀 my 19 Yr old arse giving advice, but anyways, I've had a proposal that ticks all of my boxes except his looks and it's not that I'm a fickle person, Astagfirrulah, I'm not, but if I'm not attracted to you then I'm not gonna put in everything for a relationship, like don't be the prettiest person but yk like atleast fit this, I don't want to ever feel less than beautiful for my spouse, so I don't want to marry someone who's not it for me.
Yeah, attraction is important but the attraction can come from other than looks. Don't marry someone you are not attracted to. Make sure you're attracted to him.
Hello/yurr. No assalaam alaykum? 😂😭
Sisters marry knowing you’ll need to keep your nafs in check, to not have any expectations, to forgive and let go continuously and aim to consider the more positive opinion of your spouse regardless of what negative thoughts which come up . (If in a healthy relationship)
I think it’s very reasonable for women to hold their standards in marriages. Obviously you want to give your husband grace when minor mistakes happen but the narrative of women needing to be unconditionally forgiving keeps women in emotionally and physically abusive marriages. I think it’s important in your statement to make the distinction that minor mistakes are expected but if your husband is disrespectful then you shouldn’t tolerate that.
Remember, our beloved prophet pbuh was gentle and caring towards his spouse, we should hold the same expectation for our brothers to help encourage the sunnah
@@MK-sh2qm His spouses were also caring and loving towards him
@@MK-sh2qm And don't call us your "brothers" when you see us as your enemy
@@MK-sh2qm With your mindset which has clearly been shaped by wesrern ideologies, no doubt you're 🌈
I'm 6'4 which is 99th percentile and im definitely not marrying 5/10s, sorry sister jemila 🤷🏻♂️
6’4 but leaves incel comments on CZcams… that makes you a 3/10 brother lol. An easy pass
@@MK-sh2qm how come he is an intel while being 6"4
@@MK-sh2qmWhat cmnts? Do you even know the meaning of that word?
@@MK-sh2qmEven if he is celibate, Atleast he isn't 🌈 like you!
@@MK-sh2qmAnd don't call him "brother" when you see him as your enemy
are you married?
She sounds a bit westernized 😮
🍉🍉🍉🍉🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸❤
Why has the video been cut so many times?
And here iam planning to marry a 43yr old Muslim man while I’m 29 cus I can’t wait anymore 🤣🤣🤣 not joking.
Why ??
May Allah make your marriage successful and long lasting, 😂😂😂
Pray two rakat before you get married inshaa Allah , and ask Allah SWT to decide what is good for u. remember nothing you ask Allah SWT is too big for him . He is the best planner and he can make any dream come true for you ,that good for you ❤
Is he attractive?
@@naimasophie yes☺️
Sister do not beautify urself online you’ll get sins for it whenever a non mehram sees it.
She's wearing very basic makeup. It's not tabarruj. Sit down and calm down bro
@@miakamei1751 makeup in front of non mehrams is haram regardless of whether it’s basic or not. The whole point is that it’s beautifying oneself in front of a non mehram. And I was advising her and it was towards u so dw abt it. U can do ur own research and you’ll find that scholars will say it’s haram.
@@miakamei1751we get sins for whatever man sees us Allah commanded us to veil our faces. if 3 men see us they get One sin each but we get 3
So if you have makeup on it increases the amount of men who see you- Allah says cover your beauty but we’re simply adding artificial beauty to our natural beauty - of course do it when at home in front of your husband not in front of everyone and anyone
@@miakamei1751
So you call foundation + highlighter + lipstick + blush + mascara + eye shadow basic ?
Wonder what a heavy make up look like for you...