Look For THESE THINGS In Your Future Husband| Advice To Muslim Women
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- čas přidán 11. 02. 2024
- Salam ladies! In this video, I share my personal experience & advice on what to look for in a husband! I wish I had learned this earlier and I hope it helps you!
These are the qualities in a Muslim husband to make marriage successful.
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Here are some bullet points based on what you've mentioned:
- A man who values his relationship with Allah above his desires.
- Someone whose life's foundation is Quran and Sunnah.
- Honesty and trustworthiness, which are important qualities for women.
- Actions speak louder than words, so action over words.
- Masculine yet nurturing: intense and committed with work, but soft and gentle with family.
- A man who takes pride in providing for his family.
- House chores should never be an argument, and the ego of gender shouldn't stop the man from being involved.
- It's not about seeking perfection, but finding someone who is willing to make an effort.
- The initial adjustment period requires patience, understanding, and effort.
- Our culture tends to have a throwaway mentality, but if you make it through that phase, your married life can be amazing, insha Allah.
Pinned!
❤ Mashalla may we all benefit from this advice and knowledge and continue improving in ways to please Allah swt. Jazakum Allah Khayr ❤
Not me taking notes to improve myself as a guy 🌚
That's probably all the men watching this 😂
@@Allanjoel018yeah fax😂
us bro🤣
Yes frfr
Literally bro😂
Good things happen when you least expect it.. Don’t be so hard on yourself if you don’t have a spouse yet. It will come without you realise, so before that day comes.. take risks, be adventurous, learn a language, set up a business, publish a book, be part of your community, help the needy, make an artwork. Most importantly have fun and try not to stress yourself :)
💯💯💯
millionth time i have read this advice and heard from various videos . but after all allah said he will help those who are patient aka sabr. i am 31 and still haven't met any one
@@SYEDSHAZEB46013 Anas ibn Malik reported: A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, should I tie my camel and trust in Allah, or should I leave her untied and trust in Allah?” The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Tie her and trust in Allah.”
.
Dear sister Hazeb, I'm not a sheikh or imam but I can only give suggestions, try asking your friends and relatives/families if there are any single men that they know. Once you got one, plan a gathering or join in an event that he's there too. Introduce yourself and get to know each other for the first couple of months. Once you've background check him, try approach his mum and seek out permission to that ur interested in him. If he doesn't have his parents closeby, maybe close friends or uncles/aunties. And the rest you should know by then! Hope this helps, put in the effort then Allah will answer your Du'a :)
@SYEDSHAZEB46013 In Shaa Allah all in due time brother. Almost 38 here.🫂 Don't worry. ❤
I'm a guy but I'm lowering my gaze and watching this video to take NOTESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! 📝📝📝
Brother please share with me also .
A woman’s Voice is also awrah and there’s another woman’s voice singing in the background. Let’s not forget Music is also Haram.
@@Zazezoo really...I heard no singing
@@Zazezoohow did u go to school and function if you het turned on by voices? 😂
@@naviifra2374my guy is deaf lol that's how he got through life 🤷
This video is for muslim women but it reached the muslim men mostly. Im so thankful this video came to my feed. I know have a blueprint on what I need to work on and the traits I need to do to become a man my future wife deserves, inshallah. These are extremely important and with effort, I will become that man, just a matter of when that will happen.
“I’m a sensitive little gangster” 😂 I never knew a phrase can describe me so well.
LOL It's true sis!
😂
I have a cousin who always says she wants a tall, light-skinned, rich man. I tell her that if she insists on these superficial qualities, she will never find such a man. Instead, she should look for a responsible and trustworthy man who values marriage, possesses true taqwa.
Good thought
quick summary for all the guys taking notes:
Be selective but focus on essential qualities: Emphasizes the importance of being discerning when choosing a partner, urging Muslim women to prioritize core values over superficial preferences.
Honesty and trustworthiness: Highlights the significance of a partner who keeps their word and proves themselves trustworthy through their actions, addressing the common struggle of trusting men.
Masculinity aligned with prophetic model: Advocates for a masculine identity inspired by the Prophet Muhammad's example, which combines strength with gentleness, nurturing, and wisdom, encouraging women to seek partners who embody such qualities.
Understanding of responsibilities and duties: Stresses the importance of a man who takes his duties seriously, particularly financial stability, and is willing to fulfill them with pride and dedication, even amidst challenges.
God-consciousness (Taqwa): Urges women to seek partners who prioritize their relationship with Allah, as it reflects in their behavior towards their spouse and ensures a healthier, more respectful marriage dynamic.
2:11 starts
Here to improve myself as a future husband Insha’Allah. May Allah help me and guide me, Ameen.
May Allah make me the type of husband that I want my sisters to have.
may Allah keeps the Evil one away from your wealth OR she will be taking it all of it from you. I wish you a good luck for sure. but be very very careful women can change their words at any time. they can't be trusted even if they pray 6 times a day. money more powerful my friend.
35yo and still single. InshaAllah kheir Allah delayed this for me. InshaAllah now I feel more ready to be married than ever. May Allah ease the path to our little piece of Jannah (reference to Imam Omar Suleiman 's ramadan series 😅) here on earth. Ameen.
Ameen ya rab ❤️
How did you find your spouse? I am 31 male and based in canada . I gave up online way and i guess gotta wait for parents to reach out
She needs to be physically attracted to who ever she is marrying ,
@@purplelove3666 i guess average people wont get married then
Oh yea his ramadan series is fantastic
I'm so happy to know that I have all these qualities, and I am just 18. Seems like my wife is going to have good marriage InshAllah
May Allah provide us all with a rightious spouse (Aameen)
Tbh you dont need to tell us. its better to keep things like this in private.
brother, better to keep that to yourself.
you never know when this could also turn into a test.
May Allah help us all.
This comment screams "Please pick me"
Just Don’t be a dayooth, like this sister’s husband allows her to show herself on social media, watched by millions of strange men. This is not permissible!
@@Zazezoo Brother, be careful with your words in describing other people. It might come and bite you big time on the day of judgment. Secondly, I did watch this video like you and other men. However, the reason I watched this video was purely for educational purposes. And I believe most men who watched it share the same intention as mine. And tbf, her target audience is mostly women, so if men are watching her content, it's not her fault, it's men's fault. Also, the sister is dressed modestly alhamdulillah wears a proper hijab mashallah and she's not wearing makeup (I think, I was lowering my gaze throughout the video )
I knew you from TikTok but you randomly popped up on my yt feed and now I’m binging your content. Great content ❤️
Thank you for this sister i needed this. My Allah bless you in your marriage. 😊
So glad I saw this. The main thing I was trying to check off was that he just has to be completely kind and religiously inclined but these personality traits are so important to see. Ego issues and being responsible and also soft at the same time. Totally passed my mind
Sis said come here and I just pressed subscribe🤣, there’s something about your energy allahuma barik! Can’t wait to continue watching your videos ❤️
LOOOL. Alhamdulillah, welcome to the fam, sis
These are incredibly good tips.
great video mash'allah. I think you really covered some very solid traits that are required.
JAK!
May this show up on his feed 😭🙏❤️
😂
Ameen
@@romabukhari5468 ty alhamdulillah 😂
😂 aamiin
Loveeee this video !
Very well said ❤
sis it's so comfy out there😭😭 thanks for your advice!!!
You’re welcome! Where is it comfy sis?
@@alasryh i think she means the video is relaxing and calm 💛
@@windysolitude oh 😫
thank you for the tips, i have spoken to and let go a few brothers now who approached to discuss marriage and it is difficult not to be frustrated with the process and with the prospects that show up, inshaAllah with your advice in mind it will be easier to have sabr as i go about trying to find the right one 💞
In sha Allah sis! May Allah make it easy for you 🙏🏽
Love this! Can you make more videos on these kinds of topics (finding a husband, qualities or lifestyles to look for)?
I have a few videos already but more on the way isA
Jazkillah and May Allah SWT bless your marriage more and grant y'all Jannah. Ameen.
THIS IS A VIDEO I WILL SHOW TO A GUY WHO SHOWS INTEREST IN ME. I ALMOST CRY WHEN YOU EXPLAIN IT ALL SO WELL ESPECIALLY THE PART ABOUT MUSCULINITY AND SFOTNESS. I love a soft man and I hate how society put them down as in not masculine enough. As long as he follows Islam, Quran, Sunnah, Prophet, he is more masculine than anything, even if people call him simp or whatever. I hate seeing some men who like you said, has big ego and not flexible and then gives only reasons that it's wife's duty or Islam allows to marry 4...It makes me sad and really untrustworthy towards men.
I'm straightforward and honestly I am very self aware of my flaws and weaknesses because of my upbringing and personality. I know what I'm capable of and what I'm not, what I want and what I don't want. I will say it outright but I would try not to hurt when I start to love that person but if you're a man who shows interest in me, I will show the worst of my, tell you all of the weaknesses, ask you intense questions, what you know, what expectations all of the questions that can determine the balance, compatibility and how far of your willingness to go in the marriage and if it suits me. I think a lot to the point it makes me really cautious and fearful sometimes how a marriage will go. When I tell this to some men, they call me hard to get but my brother who is already married and has a kid told me I know what I want and smart enough to know it, even if its difficult. He wishes for me to find someone of course but he also knows my predicament of my cautious and perhaps insecure personality. I don't have anything against marriage and would welcome it if I see a suitable guy, but even if I don't get married, I am fine with it. I will accept whatever Allah gives me and even if I choose wrongly or let go of the opportunity, in the end, I'll just stick to Allah rather than torture myself or someone else, making more sins instead of good deeds.
Asalam Aleikum habibty, big fan of your content - just subbed!
If I could point out one thing, the intro music should be avoided, jazak Allah khair
Love this video so much jazakallah! I see lots of success and growth coming your way inshallah!! I thought you had like 1M subs haha. Hope to meet you some day! Do you have an intro video?
Wa alaikum asalam my dear, in sha Allah one day it will be a Million subs and you will comment to remind me of your sweetness.
I will have to film an intro video now because I don’t have one!
IsA, the best place to interact with me is here and on my newsletter (it’s linked in my bio). And I’d love to work with you and meet you! Please feel free to look at my coaching options isA. Otherwise, make the intention, one day we will meet.
Thanks. May Allah find me the best forever spouse for me.
He Must be kind. He Must thank you for each thing you do. He must Love Allah and his and your parents as much as he loves you. He must say yes more times to you than no
Yeah, if you dislike something about him. Look for something you do like. In it you may find much good
I know, he must love Allah above all
He must he must he must….What do you must??
@@adamopez5815bro take it easy
@adamopez5815 That's not the point of this. Her comment in no way implies she intends to sit around and do nothing. I mean, why did she write that she wants a man to be grateful for the things she does if she doesnt do anything? Take your negativity somewhere else bro. Dont come to these videos just to complain.
really informative mashAllah
Alhamdulillah, thank you for watching!
Tysm girlie
You're welcome, girlie!
Thanks sis.
Sister Hana!! This was such a good one. Loved how you described the prophetic model of masculinity. Can't wait to watch more ❤
Thank you so much habibti!
13:14 i think this one is understood but just to reiterate, sisters should look for a man with no detrimental bad habits/addictions. VERY IMPORTANT!
And as you've Masha Allah mentioned in another video, even the men should be aware of their areas that need healing because one way or another, for both parties, unhealed childhood wounds will certainly show up in marriage unless previously healed from or currently in the process of healing. So crucial. Taqwa in every sense of the word will truly help both parties to grow and benefit the marriage and most importantly the children will see the same and In Shaa Allah will grow up respecting the oppostie gender.
A subject with high value
Keep up and stay blessed !
Thank you so much!
@@alasryh Asalama alaykum Hana
Don't mind me I'm just taking notes ✍️🧐
Jaza'Akallah sister Hana. Can you please make a video about this: Look For THESE THINGS In Your Future Wife| Advice To Muslim Men
Wa iyakum! I have a video on this, it's older but solid czcams.com/video/Me0z5Ze7Np4/video.html
I really really loved your videos and want to be one of your community, but can you please shut down the music in the background. (its in a loving way, like from sister to sister). I know its just the intro but shaytan is good at developing things
Noted with thanks 🎉
🙏🏽
now do a video for guys on what too look for in a future wife
No, there's videos on CZcams for that
@@purplelove3666 i know that and i browse reddit marriage frequently but i am sure she can upload or make that too. Theres tons of this specific content too fyi so why did she make another one when there are plenty OF CZcams videos for women seeking a muslim husband ?
Dear sister Dua for me,Allah give me this type husband.😊
🤲🏽
Beautiful
Can you plz explain in a video how to identify a person that we look for marriage fakes to be a nice, pious person. It is very important topic!!!!
In sha Allah in the future !
@@alasryh thank you
@@alasryh thank you
The two halves of the marriage is the husband and the wife taking care of each other and them taking care of their kids.
Thanks for the video, it was beneficial! Can you make a video expanding on identifying red flags before or after marriage? 10:48
Of course sis! I’ll put it on my list in sha Allah❤️
@@alasryhThanks sis ❤
Yes I agree! I would also love to see a video about red flags to watch out for when vetting a man for marriage. this was a great video thanks!
@@numberone22459 in sha Allah! Working on it!
Any advice on how to meet your partner if you are living in a non muslim country? are there tips ?
Dear sister, I appreciate your effort and in sha Allah you benefit many. Please replace de music with some halal background sound. Particularly the one you choose, is very distracting.
Unfortuantely can't replace it after the video has been uploaded but it'll be avoided in the future isA
Marriage is also for the next generation. Choosing the right spouse is very important not only for the next generation but, also for the afterlife.
Yes!!! 🙌🏽
This is going to sound crazy but here it goes. My good friend and coworker Mohammed is looking for a good Muslim girl but where we live there's very few Muslims. He's a wonderful person,works,goes to school,plays soccer and comes from a good family. He was talking to a Dominican girl who wanted him to break his fast during Ramadan. I care far to much about my friend to see him compromise his beliefs for anyone. If there are any suggestions on how I can help him meet a good Muslim girl to have a future with I would greatly appreciate it. I'm sorry if this sounds crazy. I just want to help.
I agree on most points from a guys perspective but there are a couple of things that need to be expanded on:
1. As you are newly married, the dynamics of the marriage will change massively over the years, especially as children enter the relationship, all of this has to be pre-empted BEFORE marriage
2. There are a list of 70 questions that a man has to ask the woman, including her family, he should not enter into marriage before ensuring that these have been answered
E.g. Question to the family:
If me and your daughter were to have a serious argument, who in your household can we turn to, to advise us and bring us together and resolve the matter?
If the family take exception to this type of questioning... Walk away
This is one of many that need to be discussed directly with the potential future wife and future family.
The main breakdown in relationships is that people are chasing happiness, when happiness is a temporary feeling, nobody can be happy all the time, what you need to focus on is contentment in your marriage. Big difference.
Hana, my dear sister. What if he leaves on his own for the past 12 years from age of 17 in a whole different country to his parents? He seems so kind and on the deen yet not being in the same country is a little red flag to me? He has a past and tattoos from the past over 10 years ago when he wasn’t practicing.
I think you forgot something and I really noticed that exactly it’s really really important to feel comfortable with how they look one time I talked to the guy I wasn’t completely comfortable but after estekhara I got nauseous and cried so I ended it the day after right away they came to visit me I didn’t even want to look at him feeling comfortable is so important that happened with me twice and it’s not about how they look one of them he was tall handsome girls likes how he looks but it didn’t feel right and I wasn’t comfortable at all
Very important!
@@alasryh ya rab grant me the man of my dreams
I saw the video the one you talk about a dream you had about your husband
I had many dreams of the same guy I make duaa everyday dreamt of his name the one I noticed the most is the dream he came to me said hi how are you I don’t remember exactly but then I walked and I needed help on the way so he was behind me and helped me gave me a bush after I woke up and prayed and made duaa right away can’t wait for the day I see him as my spouse inshaallah
I have an issue to TRUST men
Sister what's that with the music???
Finally a muslim woman who i can agree with and who is among the non pick me's
Boys in comment section ❤❤ 😍😍
Bois we now know the secret code 😂
For the taqwa part, what if the guy says he will improve his prayers after marriage because he does 2 jobs and basically can't pray so he says to wait until after marriage, but he is in general a good person. He doesn't pray jummah sometimes too and missed his fasts in ramadan due to his 2 jobs and that he can't cook anything for himself and also doesnt have time. Should the girl reconsider because his level of deen puts her off and she wonders if this is the reason why she doesn't feel any attraction towards him from the start of the engagement.
This is going to sound cruel but so be it. He’s a liar with a weak excuse and this is the kind of man who is weak and isn’t fit to be a husband. Jummah is required. Salah is required. If he can’t keep simple promises to Allah, why in the world would he keep them to you. If he doesn’t care to disrespect Allah with pathetic excuses, why would he respect you? Islam is clearly not his guide. Perhaps in life, he will improve. But you shouldn’t hang on to that and if you enter into a marriage with a man without taqwa, you do so at your own risk. I’ve seen how that worked out for women, their lives were destroyed.
If Allah commands it, we should move the mountains to make it happen. My husband had 3 jobs before he met me. Worked like a dog. Still had time for salah. I know Muslim surgeons and physicians. I worked in busy clinics seeing patients. We still prayed. Nobody is working every minute of every hour of every day. You can take 3 minutes for a break.
@@alasryh THANK YOU for being so straightforward about it, i really appreciate it. But i am in a difficult situation and you kind of answered my question that i asked on your other video of your story of meeting your husband.
Can you please respond to that as well as that will give you more background info of my situation. (I am wondering if i should consider this as a sign of istikhara).
I am having trouble finding the comment though I vaguely remember reading a comment that disappeared about having a dream and then meeting someone you knew for a year? Feel free to reshare here@@sem_786
@@alasryh Hana don't forget about me and please remember to give me some advice :)
@@sem_786 please remind me of the situation you’re asking for advice for
Please do not say that the Prophet was in tune with his femininity that goes against the characteristics bestowed upon him by Allah. That goes against the ‘Shan’ of a prophet.
„A sensitive littlle Gangster“😂
Can someone please give me some guidance? I have a proposal from someone who has good qualities, but my main issue is I am grossed out at the thought of him touching me. I dont know if it's him specifically that Im grossed out by or if I'm averse to the thought of this happening with any man (I somewhat think I wouldn't feel this way about someone else but I havent thought too much about that in the past so i dont know). Is this normal? Have other sisters felt this way before they got married to their husbands?
Salam! Not normal sis, it’ll be a good thing to explore this with a therapist and learn what the roots are. Is it discomfort with physical intimacy in general, is it a silly ick or does it make you actually sick to your stomach. You might be uncomfortable, that’s a normal feeling especially for Muslimas who maintained their modesty, but you shouldn’t feel grossed out. Attraction is important for a marriage to thrive.
Where do I even find one to begin with
Same😂😂😂
Unmarried folks out here, here's a bit of hope for y'all. Recite this dua to get a pious spouse in which we all could find peace in. I pray we all find the missing part of ours soon, In Shaa Allah..
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ "
" وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
(“rabbana hablana min azwajina wa dhuriyyatina qurrata A’yunin waj’alna lil- muttaqina imama”)
“Our Lord, grant us from among our pious spouse and offsprings comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.”
(Surah Furqan:74)
🙏🏽🙏🏽
You never truly know someone until you live with them and after marriage. Up until that point, unfortunately many men and their families put on their best face and fake personality.
How do you know if a man is honest until his lies have been caught? How do you know if a man is truly religious and god fearing until you have lived with him? Yes you can do your due diligence but in the end it is always a guessing game and a play of luck.
I agree, you never know someone until marriage. So is Allah and Islam basically telling us that since we can’t live together before marriage, just throw caution to the wind because it’s impossible for the majority to tell anyways? It’s about stacking the odds in your favor and like you mentioned, due diligence. Unfortunately, many women who found themselves in that situation have admitted (both personally to me and publicly) that they saw red flags and ignored them. You need time to see a person lie. You need multiple scenarios. You need other eyes on them. Etc. People can fake a personality but there will always be holes in it for the vast majority of them. So this is a reminder to us to not rush in, take time, consult Allah, ask your questions, let the person show themselves. As a community, we have in place norms that make it easier to overlook these things. We need to change that.
And for the small small percentage of women that truly did do their due diligence and still ended up in that situation, they accept it as Allah’s test isA and are rewarded accordingly.
In short, this is about your husband. Not everybody has this type of privileged life to check all these characteristics. Secondly how is it possible to know about their spouse before living with them for a period of time?
Alhamdulillah, I'm certainly blessed but a man doesn't have to be privileged nor does a woman have to be to care about character and values which is what this video largely discusses. In fact it's the most accessible asset in the world, nothing to do with privilege whatsoever:).
Considering Allah doesn't allow living together before marriage and Allah isn't unjust, there are many ways to know the values and character of a person before marriage in most cases. From behaviors, questions you ask, reputation, how they live their life, treat their family, their past, etc. And of course, a ton of duaa to Allah to protect us from evil men who don't have good character or deen and that is the most powerful thing anyone can do.
@@alasryh
I understand that we can know about a person before marriage. But it has a limit. Ultimately we put our trust in Allah. That's what we can do. And as you said make sincere Dua.
Sis, how do we know if one has taqwa?
only Allah SWT can tell if someone has Taqwa. All we can do is judge by what is apparent
Quran tells us a lot about this. They honor Allah, hold tight to their duties and the rope of Allah, make tawbah, do not seek to harm others, work on their character, etc.
i think you can just ask and test his level of knowledge about Islam. People who truly care about their religion will put their heart, mind, and soul above everything else. He doesn't have to be a scholar, but he puts effort into learning about it every day and he is not arrogant. It's important to ensure he is a humble person, as opposed to being arrogant. Arrogant individuals seldom admit their mistakes, and that's a significant problem in any relationship.
I am interested in someone but he’s not ready for marriage yet, any advice? ❤
I’ve got the best advice for you. Tell him ok, you’re going to explore other options and you pray for the best for him. A man who is not ready (for whatever reason) will do nothing but waste your time, trust me. One of two things happens when a woman accepts she can’t have a man who isn’t ready to commit. 1) she finds a better man. 2) that man wakes up.
But to chase a man who isn’t ready ends up in nothing but heartache. They will either drag you along their road or they’ll commit only to blame you for things being too hard (because they actually don’t want to commit).
@@alasryh Mashallah thank you so much sister ❤️❤️❤️
hii can someone give me some advice??
so i never dated and i only want to direct marry instead of these haram stuff,and i am also a very religious girl and my type of men i wanna marry is someone who is religious just like me,and prioritizes his relationship with Allah,so i like a guy and ik that guy does too but unfortunately he rarely prays,didnt even fast this time cause his "exams' was going on saying that he will makeup for it later by fasting another month,and he tried all diffn type of alcohol just for the sake of trying once and when i told him that his prayers wont be accepted he was like Allah will understand,i don't wanna take the burden of his religion and after marriage forcing him to fulfill his IMAN,should i stop talking to him
Girl, run.
@@alasryh yes trying to do that,i just dont know how to do it without hurting someones feelings 😭😭
@@coolcoolcool8272 don’t worry about his feelings sis, he needs to worry about his akhira. Many scholars wouldn’t even conduct a marriage to a man who does not pray and fast and drank, he doesn’t care about deen at this time in his life, he simply doesn’t have a moral compass. What do you think happens to the woman who married him? You think he’s gonna listen when she says something is haram? What happens when he has kids? You think the kids are going to want to be Muslim? Marriage to these men is disastrous wallah.
You’re a beautiful practicing Muslima. Hold yourself out for a good brother who deserves a practicing muslima.
And ask yourself why you were even attracted to him initially, it may be some healing that needs to happen.
the fact my wife barely let's me go to the bathroom alone tells me I'm the one.
@@sf2explus184where did I mention her commanding anything from me? or telling me to do anything? sorry you don't have a wife or husband to love you enough to follow you around the home hugging you and admiring you. that's true love my man.
Or she wanna run that gawk-gawk 2500 😂
She watches you take a dump?
Gurls listen If he has an ex and he left bc of a personnality issue he isnt serious and gonna do the same to you
Can you elaborate "personality issue" please?
Things that doesnt matter.. Normally if he loved her he sould have outlook her defaut and stayed with her.. for me that proove unloyalty u know what i mean?
What are your views in multiple wives?
Women want a guy that just 'gets it' and that can read between the lines.
I don’t think I liked the way you said “he had men doing his bidding”. Something about your phrasing just doesn’t seem right. People loved him pbuh more than themselves. He was the last prophet of Allah…why wouldn’t the men of the time listen to him?
Edit: Any recommendations for books?
Someone may get married to a man who is an absolute gem, however all your dream can shatter if you have to live under a roof with a vicious mother in law.
Girllll if that isn’t true, I don’t know what is. Can literally disintegrate a marriage faster than anything. Husbands have to learn boundaries and the rights of their wife. Cultural expectations wreck this
And here is what they will look for sister for your education:
1. Money
2. Money
3. Money
4. Money
5. Money
Hope you learned something.
Haha who hurt you
Is not everyone who is interested in money,Deen and love must be the main thing
Fun fact : this is video is meant for woman but men are watcing to improve themeselve 😂
lol Alhamdulillah that’s the best thing
I hate to disappoint all those watching this -- but 98% of men won't qualify the high bar set by the standards mentioned here--how ever great they are. And I'm afraid a lot of sisters will end up staying single if they pursue these standards (except for Taqwa in Allah swt). And guys will just marry those women whose bar isn't as high.
These things worked for this sister as she found a husband who met the criteria (or vice-versa, the criteria was set after meeting the husband as husband is used as the protagonist and basis). Not all men are corporate leaders who manage people and teams. Not all men diligently workout. Not all men know exactly how to articulate what they want. So, no, not all men will meet the standards of OP's husband.
The Prophet's, peace be upon him, bar is faaar low: “If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry him.” [Sunan ibn Majah]
Yes, character and religious commitment are subjective--and you define those in a simple way -- but the Prophet, peace be upon him, certainly didn't give this complex list (which is sadly trending across all social media platforms).
Please be careful.
Salam! I actually love this comment because I think it’s a really powerful discussion to have!
I think it begs clarification from my end though. I use my husband as nothing more than an illustration, not the “basis” as you described. The basis is the prophet SAW’s recommendations, on you described in your comment: deen and character.
Essentially the conclusion is find someone who is 1) able to provide financial stability (this standard is found in the Quran) 2) has Taqwa (God-consciousness, also a standard from the Quran) which the Quran regularly beseeches all of us to have, 3) exemplifies or strives towards prophetic masculinity (from the Hadith, ie a man who has Gheera, who is good to his wife, etc). To say 98% of men don’t meet these standards says something very sad about the way you and others may view the quality of modern men (not sure your gender) but I also don’t agree with that percent number either.
As for a fear tactic (you might not marry they’ll marry others), I really reject that in my content because 1) to hold reasonable standards (these aren’t actually high standards) is a manifestation of hope in Allah and His mercy, we pair it with dua. 2) to tell women to settle because marriage is better than singleness is actually something that I think can be dangerous, reality is a man who can’t provide stability and who has no taqwa… yeah, that’s the marriage that leads to divorce and by the words of many women in those marriages and who divorced from those marriages “I wish I would’ve just stayed single.”
Also, marriage is a strong sunnah, but it’s not a requirement by most scholars and incredible things can be achieved that are pleasing to Allah with and without it. But life’s too short for a garbage marriage, so I want women to stack the odds in their favor.
As for a complex list, the prophets complex list is actually in his hadith, in his sunnah and across the example of the sahaba. We just compile it in a way that hopefully resonates with our audience. And it all exists on a spectrum. I held out higher than normal standards because I wanted that for my marriage. But a man can have taqwa that doesn’t do all the things (Tahajud and regular quran, etc). So consider them benchmarks and checkboxes. No disrespect, I actually genuinely appreciate the comment and think we agree on many premises without realizing. Salam!
Worse case scenario, just Mut'ah until you find a good one. Make her your maid while still looking for a wife on the side. Then lie to your wife & find a next miskeen women to enjoy abroad & Mut'ah that one too. Simple. She enjoys-He enjoys, everyone happy.
Did you get your marriage advice from shaytan? I heard he does free sessions.@@UnderTheBridgeLiving
Marry off the ˹free˺ singles among you, as well as the righteous of your bondmen and bondwomen. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His bounty. For Allah is All-Bountiful, All-Knowing. 24:32
@@ibnAlOusoudAlHassaniso what is stopping u guys from marrying us
I keep meeting insecure, unreliable, intellectually and spiritually immature (though outwardly religious) men who want to be an authority in my life and mould me into their 'perfect' version of a wife. If it wasn't for the prophet (as)'s sunnah I would think there is something wrong with me and what I want in a husband.
Preach it sis… it’s an unfortunate reality.
Sister why do you put background music on your video.. music is haram. Fear Allah
There is some pain... or sorow in your voice.
I wonder about it.🤔
Aww, I promise there wasn't, sometimes I'm just less expressive, but no I was actually in a really good mood that day :)
@@alasryh
Maby you were just relaxed and i precived it wrong.
The breaking voice of a coked up person, sad or happy is similar to the voice of a still sleapy person early in the morning.
...
I've got some atention to pay🔎📖
what do u mean he’s going to school? how old are u guys 😭
People go to school at all ages 😫
@@alasryh in the uk we call school like only high school 😭 after that its uni or college
@@zara-cm3kv ohhh, that’s why. School is any age in the US.
As salaam alakum Auntie can you make a video for us a nephews and brothers because I honestly don’t know what type wife I need
I want to get married to a sister that is a doctor, engineer or an Islamic scholar
Auntie also she has to speak Arabic because one of my goals before I pass away I want to become fluent in Arabic and it would be beneficial for my kids studying Dua and the Quran will be easier for them
But I also want my wife to be a stay at home mom InshAllah because my mom was a stay at home mom, even though she’s not Muslim no more and she left at my family long ago.
I still cherish the memories the way how I grew up and how my mom was always there to take care of me.
I want to same for my kids, but InshAllah there mom stays Muslim Ameen
Basically, find a man who's perfect. Who's financially stable, emotionally stable, behaves like the Prophet and has taqwa.
Not find a man who is perfect, that doesn't exist. But find a man with solid values, of which there exist many.
8:51 The way you present this part is kind of apologetic. I don't understand why you have to be apologetic.
It wasn’t 😊
Your husbands seems like he cleans the floors and changes the babies diapers
Not sure if this was a diss but if it was, you gotta do better lol. We don’t have kids but he helps with the chores, he’s following the sunnah of the prophet SAW. Side note, a man who takes care of the child he helped make isn’t something praiseworthy.
He is always the ONE! Is she the one?
Anyone who thinks that a person, man or woman, has impunity based on gender without analysis of character, deen, goals, has a lot of maturity to develop. This is a dangerous mindset. The prophet SAW himself advised women to turn away from certain men for marriage based on their poor qualities, why do you think your approach can differ?
naaaaaaaah.
@@alasryhI like this message. Alhumdulilah
@@alasryhim going to use this because I want to approach someone and ask her hand in marriage but would like to speak to her father who I don’t know of
@@HK00088 May Allah make it easy for you!!! The dua from the Quran ربنا هب لنا من أزواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعيُن is very powerful too! Never stop reading it
8:13 So when it comes to talking about providers you have no problem identifying which gender is responsible yet when it comes to cleaning you don’t wanna talk about it 🤦🏾♀️ I thought when I reverted I bc escaped feminism 🤦🏾♀️ clearly not 🙄
Mmm… lots wrong with this comment, lest its rude nature, but also because it doesn’t distinguish a role mentioned in the Quran from a role speculated by convenience.
be able to cook, thats really just all it takes
Haha a man that can cook is definitely a plus for many women 👌🏾
I really like your videos but could you please not put music in it? Thx🫶🏼❤️
Actually working on avoiding music in the future isA :). This was an older video of mine
Darling i love watching ur vids so much just if u don't use songs 🥹💗