Parenthood, Video Games, & Sanctity w/ Fr. Boniface Hicks, OSB
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- čas přidán 22. 06. 2024
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Lenten Retreats with Fr. Boniface: stemma.org/events
www.fatherboniface.org/
0:00 Intro/ Producer change
1:38 Incense and its symbolism for our wounds
11:32 Moving from Structure to Relationship in the Faith
17:59 Dealing with Fear in a healthy way
20:07 Reconciling our Expectations with reality
26:03 Loving the other as who they are
28:12 Spiritual Parenthood as medicine for the Celibate
30:29 Parents condescending to Children’s interests
35:12 Mutual accustoming of us to each other
36:45 Leading prayer in the Family
43:19 God’s whispers and shouts
44:36 The consequence of Internet on Parishes and Ministry
50:37 The responsibility of those with large audiences
53:57 The history of Boniface Wimmer
58:07 Idealization of Monastic Life
1:00:57 Parenting based on how we were Parented
1:03:06 Loving before judging in the right way
1:08:38 Break
1:12:02 Glasses
1:12:58 Being passionate and idealistic when young
1:15:27 The difference between religious orders/ encouraging children to consider it
1:20:33 Structured prayer
1:29:30 Bringing Small children to monasteries
1:30:44 Understanding the silence of God
1:33:17 Dealing with diabolical images during prayer
1:35:45 Sin in the eyes of the Culture
1:37:30 St. Mark Ji Tianxiang
1:39:01 Fr. Boniface’s Books
1:40:02 Father’s upcoming events
1:41:50 Father’s Beard
1:45:00 Insights into St. Joseph
1:47:31 The difference between Men and Women
1:49:48 Father’s amazing quote retention
1:50:50 What is a Hemina?
1:52:30 TV chat
1:56:30 Movie chat
2:01:40 Appreciating difference among humanity without pandering
2:02:34 Video game chat
2:12:35 Pre-evangelization and being a light in the darkness of the internet
2:14:18 Gaming Socially with others
2:16:15 How streaming changes our engagement with media
2:17:11 Matt and Father’s first experiences with internet
2:19:01 Can you live without a phone today?
2:21:17 Phones affecting our focus
2:24:14 Why a smart watch
2:24:49 Google culture and knowing everything
2:25:50 Traveling and experiencing different cultures
2:30:27 Largest geographic diocese
2:31:33 Locals Plug
2:32:45 Difference between the spirit and the soul
2:34:21 Is Harry Potter okay for Catholics?
2:36:12 St. Emma’s Monastery
2:37:14 Discerning while dating
2:41:50 Favorite Snacks
2:44:22 Matt’s deciding to pursue Cameron
2:48:05 Showing the CFRs love
2:48:55 Matt’s trip to Abu Dhabi
2:51:31 Persecution in America?
2:54:26 Wrap Up
Something I would love to see more allowance for is a willingness from people in positions like Matt's, to be able to share personal/moral struggles the way Matt does in this video. I get the impression that for those reacting negatively to this video that you think Matt is advocating some kind of liberal, anything-goes attitude in parenting. Instead, what I hear is Matt sharing his own struggle of having been too tightly wound up and idealistic with his kids - which puts a lot of pressure on them and can frustrate their emotional and spiritual development. He's not saying, don't have standards; don't have rules. He's saying, I didn't get the balance right. And that's something I can relate to. Virtue is a balance between a deficit and an excess. If someone says, I was too excessive about discipline, that doesn't mean he's saying the deficit is better - just that he didn't find the right balance. We need to do a better job of appreciating that distinction and not jumping to short-sighted conclusions.
I think this cuts to the source of Matt's success as a podcaster. His honesty in his struggles is typically the source of the best moments on PWA
Well said Brian, keep up the good work on your channel.
Thanks Brian, you definitely get it. I love listening to these good men. Honestly sharing parenting struggles and the balance there in …shows Matt’s humanness seeking redemption and balance …humility mic drop.
I'm curious: how could there *possibly* be "more allowance for ... a willingness from people in positions like Matt's, to be able to share personal/moral struggles the way Matt does in this video"??
Well said, Brian, and I completely agree. My husband and I have gone through that same journey of learning to balance perfectionism and idealism with leading with love.
Fr. Boniface is like the male version of Sr. Miriam James. They both speak with such gentleness.
So true!!!!
Addressing the awkward silence after the movie reference, Thursday, His Girl Friday, Cary Grant, Rosalind Russell, classic movie, great movie. Thanks for the mention. I got it.
I saw OSB and thought “hmmmm…. I wonder….” And yes!! He’s at St Vincent Archabbey!!
I live 7 minutes from the Basilica (4 if there are no red lights.) I can see the Basilica from my house. I’ll be there tomorrow at the basilica for the penance service. Hopefully I can get my brother to go. He seems interested in Catholicism (hasn’t been to confession in years). Prayers would be appreciated
Darn. I surely wish I had heard this conversation about 20 years ago. What a sadness in my heart for not having these pearls of parenting wisdom. But despite my stupidity, praise God, my 5 children are so deeply in the arms of the Church. God is merciful indeed.♥️
God bless and beautiful journey Neil. You were wonderful to help. Say an Ave for Neil his future wife and their journey if you see this.
This was like chicken soup for the soul .. my first time seeing Father Boniface.
Parenting is the ultimate teacher. It is so difficult as a mom raising two boys alone, and In Christ, in these days!
Matt Fradds parenting advice has really helped me to rethink a lot. My son just turned 2 today and already I’m trying to find a way to balance relaxing and discipline.
We went with negotiables and non-negotiables strategy. eg non-negotiable we attend Mass weekly as a family. Negotiables sorted out in our one hour family meeting, I'm big on monthly family meetings even if formalities only last 10minutes and we just end up eating ice-cream, playing scrabble and talking NBA for the rest of it. Everyone has a say in our family meeting, whoever has the rosary talks for 5min max, we decided when kids reach 3yo they can give their opinion/suggestions too but at the end of the day the "magisterium" mom/dad decide.
My son is 25 and still lives at home, he lives in his room playing video games until late in the night. He built his own computer system just for the video games. The other day he came down so depressed and admitted he has to give up gaming as it is ruining his life. Now we are trying to help him as he gives us this addiction. It really started during the pandemic. It is very sad!
This interview with Fr. Hicks is like an early Christmas present.
Joyeux Noël 🥳
I could listen to Fr talk all day
Matt, your interviews never fail to ooze the grace of God. As a father who struggles in many of these things, I thank you and Fr. for this.
Oh my! I NEEDED to hear the part about suffering and having the Lord love us out of being stuck. Having been wounded in my childhood with sexual abuse, I know logically to invite the Lord in my suffering, but now I know I need to make more of an effort to invite Him in, not be so afraid, and let Him love me out of that place. Thank you!
I love this. As we do this experiment of unschooling (yes unschooling) in my family, I find more and more prominent Catholics talking about this sense of falling in love with the passions and talents that God has given our children. It’s really beautiful.
I unschool my child as well and she loves Catholicism. She is getting confirmed a couple years earlier than usual because she asked to be. She does novenas and consecrations on her own or asks if she can join me. She is already very good at evangelization. She is not afraid to defend the faith in person and when she is on her games. She also defends the unborn unapologetically.
@@laraluna9365 hopefully she’s defending Jesus Christ and the Gospel because he’s the only way to the Father ✝️
@@Proverbs--tx6yr tell me you’re a prideful Protestant without saying so is basically your comment. Nice try troll.
@@Proverbs--tx6yrcan't defend Jesus if you cherry pick your words to create a religion that puts you at the center.
@@laraluna9365imagine your entire religion being in protest of the Church that Christ built.
The peace and joy of Christ emanates from Fr Boniface....and you too Matt.☺
I often listen to Fr. Boniface on We Are One Body radio. What a blessing he is.
What a lovely, gentle soul.♥️
Haha! Father is awesome at not falling into Matt's pitfalls! Good on you father!
Absolutely love it. I have so many "aha" moments. I understand so much more so much better. God bless you Father Mike.
Yes! Love hearing Fr. talk about Catechesis if the Good Shepherd! Such a great solution to our catechesis problem in our church!
I had such a feeling of peace in listening to Father's voice and approach, such a loving approach (!) and Matt, as always, amazing! I will share with my grown children who hope to have their own families one day. Thank you!! (and all this without even getting one third through the podcast so far! :)
So emotional watching this. Beautiful
Fr Hicks is an amazing shepherd 🙏🐠🕊️
Thank you Matt for this interview. Fr Boniface is a wonderful spiritual father.
The body is connected to the soul is connected to the spirit, I believe
Loved the first sets of questions about God as distant and disturbing thoughts during prayer. I'm personally so glad someone asked those things. It's really hard to be honest about the stuff we find so disgusting about ourselves and the answers were incredibly helpful to me. Great interview.
I do love these long form discussions on PWA. I've been introduced to so many interesting and inspiring people. I love how folks like Fr. Boniface and Sr. Miriam James Heidland can translate spirituality in such human terms as to make it accessible and doable. I'm also very okay with all the side roads that Matt can tend to wander down in the conversation.
This just came up in my Feed. I live in Pittsburgh and have always loved St. Vincent Abbey.
So grateful as a parent to hear this
My experience is that people love to praise my family when at Mass but are upset at my household's strict discipline and are terrified to see us play roughly. I cannot imagine myself relaxing discipline at Mass as my family grows, but it's yet to be shown whether I can confer the sense of pious duty to my children that reveals the liturgy as an important sacrifice for helping those we love. I would also concede that a family needs to have the full gambit of reverent prayer environments from the welcoming no-obligation invitation to the we have to wage war against the evil one (the latter in accordance with the spiritual maturity of each individual - not age). Mass of course is when everyone throws on the war paint.
(Young Father still speaking - I'll reflect on this in 10 years)
I'll note that proper discipline is never mixed with rage or anger; it is better for children to be unruly than to fear being undesirable. This is the only fact that might temper my discipline in the future.
Said another way: discipline is useless if it doesn't allow for children to both live happily and live well.
Only God can make saints.
5 minutes in. Wow. Catholicism is cool. Deep. Engaging. Now to continue the podcast.
FR BONIFACE HI 🙏 I USED TO LISTEN TO YOU ALL THE TIME. WHERE I LIVE NOW I CAN'T PICK UP YOUR RADIO STATION. I MISS YOU😪😪 GOD BLESS YOU 🙏✝️🙏✝️
Suffering without God is destructive. Suffering with God is redemptive, purifying and sanctifying.
Oh wow just 🤩 I’m on a Silent Retreat right now (full habited Nuns) and as a female version of you Matt -I’m having a heck of a time with a couple of grandsons that I’ve pretty much raised…and oh you guys opened my eyes!!!I never want to hear about their video games…I say things like you say to Avala..(I’m a stand up Comic only for AA now and the Sisters) so you know how I think and talk..Matt is. Comic) here’s one for you…I’ve got something going constantly like now I woke up it’s about 3:30 am…but when ppl suggest we be silent …to let God speak..I say My God is powerful and He wants my attention He will speak through my headphones or the TV or the person I’m speaking with..still think that by the way…b/c in a sense He does get my attention when He wants to..I don’t know..I’m rambling but Matt can figure this out🤐 God Bless you and the good Father! 🙏🏼✝️
This is GOLDEN! Loved the parenting spiritual thoughts and praying to hear more!
"God forbid the rosary becomes conjoined with Dad's anger" GOLDEN.
Lead here by the Holy Spirit to bend down as a mom to my eldest. Thank you to this beautiful parenting hack of shouting the 10 commandments and whispering invitation to intimate relationship to God. So many fireworks in this episode. Praise God for Matt and Fr.
I needed the first 2 min of this interaction
i'm a Catholic and an avid gamer. anytimes I have played online with others I try to coalesce with like minded peoples where we can share openly about faith and life. I even thought about having twitch streaming and having a Faith positive focus.
EDIT, I know no one will answer but why is there a cut @ 2:33:56
Our society has forgotten the “repent, go and sin no more” part!!!!
I’ll have to listen to this! Matt you always have the most wonderful speakers! Please have Fr John Riccardo on your show!
Wow. So, so beautiful. Holding back tears. Thank you.
Thank you Neil and all the best, the mountains are worth it! Lots of blue skies.
I don't know how many times I wished for my dad to ask "What do you like about this?". I think it's the one difficult part in our otherwise fantastic relationship. I hope I can do better with my kids.
I whole heartedly stand behind M.A.S.H. being the greatest tv show of all time. There's not one show that even comes close.
1:24:25 till 1:25:30 is gold! ♡
Minecraft and Doctor Who... I would have so much fun hanging out with you kids. My daughter is just starting to get into video games and I am so excited to play with her.
your kids are still so young... the teens and early 20's are tough when they want to push back on what you KNOW is best for them. it's really difficult to avoid sounding as though you're criticizing them.
One of the benefits is being a "peter pan" on the spectrum is an always youthful world view. So I don't have to condescend to my boys level, I share their love for the same things - Halo, Star Wars, LOTR et al - but I can also lead them to have a scholastic world view of those pop culture items, to analyse the author's intent (without disturbing the soul of the work) which in turn leads them to a general love for the wisdom that has come from an exegesis of the symbolism and to the summa itself.
The quote at 1:49:20 actually comes from St. Therese of Lisieux who was quoting her spiritual father, Father Pichon. The exact quote from Father Pichon is: "There are really more differences among souls than there are among faces".
This episode with Fr. Boniface was great. Was like being a part of a group Spiritual Direction session in a way. Have found Bowen Family Systems coupled with "lessons learned" in the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises to be eye opening. In a way that was some of what you talked about without referencing directly.
M*A*S*H is an amazing show. It is one of the only shows that I'll watch repeatedly. (I really enjoy TV and movies and I watch a variety of stuff, and yhere is quite a lot of great shows available...but MASH is my favorite/comfort show. It's so good. Thanks Thursday!
I turned the lights off, gave them each candles and prayed the divine mercy chaplet. A picture of Jesus of Mercy with a candle next to the picture. It helped focus and brought a hint of mystery to it!
Thank you for being vulnerable.
Socratic method - Montessori - always a vehicle for greater growth
So very difficult to be a parent in these times. ❤ We have to choose our battles. Ask God for help all the time.
This was truly a magnificent conversation
Could you ask Fr in future interviews how parents are to deal with adult children who have become atheists? It is too late to go back and make changes in how we raised them. At the time, we heard if we took them to Mass, prayed at home, relied on God, involved in our parish, had Catholic friends, they would most likely not leave the church ( which has been true for hundreds of years) but now, when some kids go to college they leave the church and more often now, have become atheists. This happened in our family and we now have unbaptized grandchildren, and are heartbroken. Many Catholic parents are in the same situation as we are. I'm sure we made mistakes in the past even though we thought we were doing the right things at the time. What can we do now? Please Matt, have a discussion that addresses this, there are a lot of parents who need guidance for this issue.
Pray for your children and never stop praying for them for a return to their faith. Apologize to them if there was anything that could have driven them away. A lot of times the falling away is exactly what is needed to bring them back. I was gone for 13 years, but I have to go on that journey in order for God to meet me where I was at . My parents never stopped praying for me. Everyone’s story will be different and we don’t always see what God is doing or the outcomes of things. Your kids have free will and will make choices no matter how good of a job you have done, and that’s where you come in with prayer for them, but don’t chastise them or put up walls to quit talking to them if they aren’t practicing, just keep praying.
This is great! The baseline thing we are doing as Christians when living together is to provide an opportunity for others to encounter Christ. It starts with allowing Christ to live in us, so that we decrease so much that all they see is Him. Then we can afford the opportunity to others to encounter Him. We do nothing, He does everything.
Matt, your podcasts are phenomenal and help me really go farther in my faith. I respect and enjoy how much you love your wife and family. I work with children in faith formation with Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. It is based on Montessori principles that stand up to today. The respect she gave the child is explained by a current author, Linda Murphy, in a handbook called Declarative Language. You would stop nagging if you read this book. CGSUSA,Org and Debbie Reber with her Differently Wired book and club are excellent resources. These three women dedicated their lives to helping the neurological diverse. But it helps all our brains. This is a huge need for parents to help their children in our fast paced world. CGS brings children to God in a peaceful way and leaves room for the Holy Spirit.
Interesting interview. Loved being introduced to Fr. Boniface. His facial expressions communicate as well, if not better, than his words.
I am a boomer and know nothing about video games so this discussion was interesting to me. It helps me to understand those who are passionate about them.
I had to laugh at Matt, raving about Chernobyl. My 34-year-old daughter raved about it also. I watched it for about 10 minutes and had to turn it off. Too violent and explosive for me. I don’t have a TV in my home and I am totally out of touch with the current culture - - on purpose, as much as I can be.
Fr. Peter Gautsch is very dear to me. I cannot explain yet, though I will be praying about the reasons that your mention of him in a hospice ministry tied together a lot of the threads of our intertwined experience. Tell him I pray for Marta.
I'm actually a gamer and a streamer myself. I don't use a distinctly catholic approach to my gaming selection per se, but I do say a prayer before broadcasting where I ask that God help make me an example of His Christian love and grace.
I teach CGS ! Love to hear it mentioned
Father is such a gentle man. He exudes the qualities of Jesus and hearing Matt talk about having him as a spiritual father has me googling, "how to find a spiritual father". I am a potential Catholic convert (I've only stopped the process because I'm not sure I can submit to being "accepted": by a higher up in the Catholic church in the midst of all the things we hear coming from the Pope, bishops, etc and good priests being cancelled), and could use some guidance. I have tried my best to Catechize myself and never stop learning but i'm kind of stalled right now.
@shieldmaiden1318
Please don’t permit anything to keep you from the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist, union with Jesus in the most intimate and deepest way. “ I do not envy the Seraphim. Your Blood mingles with mine.” St Faustina. The Catholic Church possesses 2000 years of treasures. It is so rich with wisdom and beauty. Bad clergy have come and gone and good ones are some of our greatest Saints. Even Our Lord had Judas among the twelve. Read and pray and if you can, visit Jesus in an adoration chapel, or in any Catholic Church. You will never regret embracing all He means for you to have.
Best show ever!
Just an observation: When a child is coloring while another "adult" activity is occurring, that child may well be listening far more intently than one would imagine.
Unfortunately for those moving to our fair and wonderful state of CO, it’s ridiculously expensive now. Please plan way ahead!
I'm 35. MASH is the greatest tv show ever!
A great time🙏🥰
Hi Matt, I was touched by your conversation about condescending to the interests of your kids. What a blessing for them! The discussion about video games was also great! I recently posted a Catholic reflection on how good video game stories can be edifying and help us strive for holiness if you’re interested in checking it out.
Not trying to troll but I feel like for all the talk of not Googling things right away, there’s a lot of that that goes on the show from the “Jamies”.
Fr. Boniface is amazing!! I feel like there were a few times where we were not hearing him, but instead listening to side conversations between Matt and Thursday or Neil. My constructive criticism would be to have the background team stay more background and let your guest be the highlighted.
Love the show & Matt & Fr. B!
Corn nuts are DELICIOUS!
Great talk as always. Thank you!
This chap does seriously look like Maximilian Kolbe. Now I know why I thought he looked familiar! Great interview - thanks!
I am posting another comment responding to the positive framing given to Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, CGS for short. This is a New Age catechism not approved by the USCCB. The creator of this catechism. The Catechesis of the Good Shepherd is based on Theosophical tenets, not the Catholic Magisterium.
Sofia Cavaletti, its creator, wrote it using Maria Montessori;s Theosophist views. Maria Montessori was raised Catholic but was heavily influenced by revolution and theosophy.
The CGS program encourages children to participate in other religions. An organization called the Center for Children and Theology is closely associated with CGS USA and holds the annual CGS workshop, Weaving Our Gifts. Not only do they promote the prayers of other religions, but they also sell materials to be used in the CGS atrium such as hands-on Islam and hands-on Buddhism material to be used in the atrium.
The Catechesis of the Good Shepherd teaches these concepts in conflict with Magisterium
Maria Montessori’s idea of learning religion was condemned by Pope Pius X as an error of Modernism, which he also stated is the synthesis of all heresies. See the CGS Exposed website and Sensus Fidelium YT channel for more information. This program should not be in any Catholic Church.
Remember- the New Age damages lives and harms souls. If this program is in your church, share these facts with your Pastor and Rel. Ed director and remove CGS from your church.
The copy of the rule that I have says one pint a day, and I am sticking to it
Did you notice that the 2022 World Champion - football Star, makes the Sign of the Cross on TV after scoring? Lionel Messi is openly Catholic.
Detroit become human is fantastic. So cool how the story can actually beanch out in like a hundred directions based on your choices and actions. A must play for any sci fi geek
Nick picking…that’s me! We are together 5min and I say things like “You didn’t wear that to school again you wore it yesterday! And why didn’t you comb your hair? You will never get a gf looking like that! Let’s pray..I’m going to listen to this daily..until I get it😤
I went to St. Boniface Catholic school in IL. So I know a little bit about his namesake.
That was an hysterically funny line - and you know which one I mean.
Please do an episode on Fr. Frank Pavone. Please have Fr. Gerald Murray as your guest to discuss the applicable canon law.
Can we post just the part where matt shares his family rosary testimony so i can share it with my mom?
I think games are perfectly fine for Catholics, as long as they are taken in moderation. It’s like alcohol and other forms of enjoyment and entertainment, take it in moderation for enjoyment, but do not abuse it and take it in excess, if you do, then abstain completely from it, at least for a certain amount of time.
I’ve spent a lot of time on games recently, so much that I’ve been failing to fulfill all of my responsibilities, so I deleted all my games and I don’t think I’ll play again until after Lent. BUT, if you can moderate the time you spend, then video games are great!
Inola Oklahoma. In Tulsa a great classical school!!
The Boy in the Striped Pijamas & The Stoning of Soraya M awsome movies!!!
According to Father Ripperger, there are some spells in the Harry Potter series that are real, not sure about all, but some, for sure
❤
Jesus himself said we are to Walk and talk with him and his father as we would a good friend. He also said to pray in our "closets" and if we must pray in public it should be the Lords Prayer.
The last of us (only the first one) is amazing and I highly recommend it.
Wait, we got part 2? What are you talking about, what part 2?
@@hudebnilidlprodukce5137 yeah, it's not worth acknowledging.... Look it up at your own risk.
@@chase6579 i do not want, it is absolute garbage, it is like The Last Jedi.
@@hudebnilidlprodukce5137 yeah I think it's actually far worse tbh.
What a fabulous discussion this is exactly what I needed to hear. I struggle with family ideals of planned verses actual so listening to this is really helpful and a complete blessing for me 😊
I just watched Dan Wolocko on Church Militant! Could you please have him on? PRETTY PLEASE 😘
2:23:09 Hi Matt, so how did you manage to have no stupid commercials constantly interrupting your videos?
Matt, please tell me that Thursday’s nickname is a G. K. Chesterton reference.
it is
Based!
How would you reconcile Our Lady’s expectations of the children of Fatima, for example - as far as prayer and sacrifice, and needing to be disciplined in order to receive their Heavenly reward (such as Francisco needing to do more work) - with the advice here about letting go of expectations in parenting?
The tree is also tapped 3 times for what they call “tears” or resin
At first, I thought that he's Fr. Columba Jordan of Called For More. My bad.
02:36:00 trent took down the video on harry potter responding to Fr Ripperger for some reason.. maybe he thought Father was actually right?
Boniface Hicks is the age of my Puglia babydaddy.
I can’t figure out what he means by dopamine baseline. Can anyone explain it to me? Thanks!