Betrayal, Trauma, Dissociation: Roots of Cluster B Personality Disorders (Compilation)
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- čas přidán 6. 03. 2023
- The twin theories of structural dissociation and betrayal trauma provide a profound insight into the formation of cluster B personality disorders.
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TRUST IS LIKE YOUR SOUL ONCE DEPARTED, IT CAN NEVER BE RETURN.
Story of my life: raised in a family of narcissists with a borderline narcissistic mother and a psychopathic brother who constantly tortured, abused and manipulated me in horrendous ways my whole life. This led me to developed amnesia and severe internal split that I attracted and allowed all type of abusive people and opened myself up to sexual and other type of abuse as well as gave complete control to my mother and brother over my life without realizing. I became a narcissist myself without being aware because I denied it due to lack of space and independence from my abusers to be with myself, analyze and work on my trauma. Betrayals have continued on all levels and contexts of my life: work, institutional, relationships, etc. I got caught in a terrible cycle I was not able to escape. They got me isolated and under constant fear, unable to control my addictions. I am now trapped in this cycle where I am a target to these people who know I am alone, vulnerable and without a home and in need of urgent income.
I hope people realize how widely spread this phenomenon is and how these people study us, prey on us and know exactly where to push and when to push to get the results they want from those of us that are unaware. They also know each other and pretend to have nothing to do with each other. They act in packs and all they do is stalk their victims. They do this to family members and thus make sure that the victim is programmed early on. Many are aleady trapped but so many others need to be supported, especially children in broken homes. Thanks to the works and efforts of amazing revolutionary prof. Vaknin things are changing. Reverential bow to you dear professor, you are forever in my heart.
Your life experience sounds a lot like my dads, I’m sorry to hear
@Isabel Isabel 1) Go no contact, but if you can’t do that then 2)gray rock, and if you think you’re up for it 3)mortify the narcissist. Search Sam’s videos on those topics if you aren’t already familiar with them.
@@Phosphene_Dreamthank you for your message, it was God ordained, it is always his way and will, we are but dust in his hands, be blessed
Your situation sounds a lot like mine. You sound like you understand a lot of what is going on. I feel I am doing the same.
So sorry to read of this nightmare you have experienced throughout your life
Please keep helping us as long as you can, Prof Vaknin. Your lectures resonate with me.
Professor Vaknin, thank you.
I had been severely abused by a malignant narc for years and now childhood abuse is coming up at 52 years old. I'm having ephinys awakingings awareness etc I have been researching for a year every personality disorder I wish I could talk to u. I have so many questions. I'm crying because u are triggering me. For childhood abuse coming up and his abuse I think I have Stockholm syndrome cptsd betrayal trauma and more.
Thankyou Professor Vaknin. As a child, up until I became aware of my behaviour in my 40's, I chronically dissociated/day dreamed. I was always seen as a "shy" child (and shamed for it) but really I just chronically day dreamed/dissociated and "shyness" was another human interrupting me. I was not allowed to have any problems at all as my older sibling was very mentally disabled and "ruined" my parents lives (though they too have undiagnosed personality problems). I really had lots of social and mental problems as a child as well as IBS but I never felt safe to tell my parents as the first time I did it was utter rage and denial, so I ran away but was then punished. A visit to the Dr for "nebulous" stomach issues was seen as "you are making my life hard and irritating and your father won't allow me to spend the money". I was utterly betrayed. So I stuffed it all down. I did not realise I had become exactly what my parents had programmed of me and how they lived their lives (they denied reality and lived in la la land). I utterly betrayed myself, denied my reality, and abandoned myself. I have to work at it but I went "cold turkey" with my dissociation in order to not betray and not abandon myself.
Generations of trauma .
. Just because you’ve been victimized, does not mean that you’re a victim, it means you are a survivor. 💯☮️❤️
Another incredible content that I watched by taking notes. What I learn from this channel acts as a psychological shield. I can't thank you enough
There’s nothing like being betrayed in a romantic relationship after 12 years …. And yes my brain rufused see it even though my body felt it
I am going through this after 12 years of marriage. I felt betrayed and hurt.
61rmmm hyybea
This happened to me through physical manifestations of nervous ticks. My anxiety was going crazy but I was telling myself I needed to accept my partner until there was nothing left to hold onto because she split and ran off with 10 men.
Just want to throw up.
EXactly 💯
First time I feel heard without saying a word!
Institutional betrayal!
Thank you professor. Betrayal trauma makes so much sense out of the relationship between my Grandmother and my Aunt who was sexualy abused by my Grandfather but treated with contempt by Grandmother like her daughter was a mistress. My aunt was diagnosed with schizophrenia later in life after harboring and repressing a lifetime of abuse by both of her parents. Betrayal trauma is an area I will research. Appreciate your insight.
I can't thank you enough. Your channel has been therapy in my journey to recover from narcistic mother
Everytime I listen to one of your videos I find a nugget of information that helps me move forward and heal. Gives me peace. Today's epiphany was when you highlighted what happens if we deny the abuse . Thankyou.
Another piece of the jigsaw complete thanks to you, you are a genius.
My dissociation, that I started to become aware of anyway, was while unknowingly being sexually assaulted repeatedly that was later proven to be happening a year prior. I had another dissociative episode while dealing with the police department who at the time were refusing to take me seriously, refusing to investigate my case, and I had later found out they had never viewed any of the evidence I had provided. Thankfully I had it in me to fight against them and finally get them to listen and ultimately had my ex charged and convicted.
I I had a tricky experience with my partner,we both married for 14 years with two kids,he was a cheat and a chronic manipulator,all I needed was to get some physical prove to get custody of my kids that was gained through his manipulation ways, I was introduced to this cyber expert and it was helpful in court, they helped me get all his chats both deleted chats and non deleted, call logs, emails,they also help in retrieving lost data,/hacked social media and they are legally forensic evidence that are accepted in court don't let your narcissistic partner abuse you no more Reach out to him for help , he is truthful and good at his work 👆👆
Glad you succeeded in making your ex responsible! Thank you from all women.
Good to hear you went to the police and kept persevering despite dissociation. I have a similar story.
sometimes all you need is to hear someone speak what youve been feeling. thank you prof.
I think ur beyond brilliant you have helped me understand the human condition in a way no one else could ur amazing to me god bless you .
I caught my husband with 8 years of cyber cheating email. The contact was absent but the emails were intensely sexual and hurt me terribly. My mother was abandoned by her mother. She was borderline and I am definitely cluster B. Moms boyfriend of 20 years was horribly aggressive and abusive and she let it happen.
My husband is now in individual and couples therapy. It is not the sex. It was the betrayal sneaking and lying. I’m devastated.
I'm so sorry . It's so painful. My mother Is a malignant narc - believe dark triad . I just went no contact (again) 6 wks ago & I LIVE W HER
the trauma bond is so hard to break until you finally recognize it once & FOR ALL.
The amount of betrayals from her is off the charts. I've lost most my appetite coming to terms w it all . I'm already thin & all her flying monkeys comment on " you got so skinny " ..I bite my tongue!
Sending you love
It's a painful journey but you are not alone ! & you will be stronger & better ❤
Thank you Sam for all the outstanding work you're doing. Condensind all the great literature and narrating it in an engaging way. Really hard to overestimate.
Sam, I appreciate your efforts. This subject requires more of those expensive words. Thank you Prof. Vaknin
Thank you for your insight. ❤
Very informative and helpful videos, never seen anything like it on yt.
Never heard it broken down like this☝🏾♡
I have a question. I am a nurse in a psychiatric hospital. I was also diagnosed with BPD when I was younger. I have all the diagnostic criteria of BPD. But when patients in my hospital exhibit extreme attention seeking behavior my colleagues are quick to call these patients borderline. But attention seeking behavior is not a diagnostic criterion of BPD.. I hate to draw attention to myself..it causes overwhelming shame. So why do people associate attention seeking behavior with BPD?
Most borderlines sexualize situations but attention seeking is the trait of a narcissist, not a borderline.
Isthe narcissist trying to put their partner through the same trauma they lived through, partner after partner?
Yes. Search my channel!
I know they are trying to obtain mother again and again attempting to finalize a successful separation from her but where does the attempt to bring emotional damage and pain to the partner come in because the sadistic need to traumatize in the worst way possible is undeniable.
I felt like my ex was cursed to relive over and over again certain painful scenes from his childhood, with each new partner. When his eyes would go black and he'd get scary, I could always sense that little scared part of himself in the backseat, horrified that it was happening again with him being the one doing it.
I I had a tricky experience with my partner,we both married for 14 years with two kids,he was a cheat and a chronic manipulator,all I needed was to get some physical prove to get custody of my kids that was gained through his manipulation ways, I was introduced to this cyber expert and it was helpful in court, they helped me get all his chats both deleted chats and non deleted, call logs, emails,they also help in retrieving lost data,/hacked social media and they are legally forensic evidence that are accepted in court don't let your narcissistic partner abuse you no more Reach out to him for help , he is truthful and good at his work 👆👆
Very very good. I found this very interesting and informative.
Thank you Dear Professor.
I absolutely agree, without a shadow of a doubt. I recently journaled, in own personal notebook, about my psychological experience during my divorce from a (probable) covert narcissist, as a (probable) BPD/CPTSD/OSDD1. Funnily enough, I used words like amazing and unspeakable! Don’t get me wrong, I also wrote that I felt like I’ve survived the worst pain that life had to offer, at the ripe old age of 22. But, it really does feel incomprehensible, and at the same time, I was there! Very interesting and traumatizing to say the least, I want to create my own CZcams channel or book eventually
Don’t smoke, drink or do any drugs. Zero. If you want to heal and succeed you must be completely sober at all times, for the rest of your life. Peace be with you.
I am codependent. I can see betrayal immediately. I sense it. I know no matter how a person tries to lie. Yet I can’t let the person/ partner go.
I have been struggling to find this exact "term" ....this is exactly it!!! Thank you for sharing this content!🙏✨️💫🙏✨️
Absolutely Brilliant, and hugely relevant. Thank you Sam!
I have DID and dissociative amnesia. It’s a living hell, it affects my daily functions.
I do too, I'm just learning about. I'm terrified!
Wow! You are gold! Thank you so much!
Dr Vaknin, what is your opinion on the first nine months of human life for a fetus in the womb of an emotionally dysregulated mother? Is there a somatic transference of sorts happening at that stage of human development between mother and child and could this be the most significant moment pertaining to the transfer of human trauma from generation to generation?
Great question
Thank you Sam, i experience the state switching it is a real thing 👍
Could betrayal blindness be similar to the concept of idealization? I’d say betrayal trauma from an institution can be seen in family courts when you are trying to protect yourself and the kids.
Great comment. I wonder that too. But I guess either way it is a distorted perception of reality. Trauma is the inability to be in the present moment. I'm glad I see the truth about my childhood now and am aware of my programming to heal it and make conscious choices from here on.
So would the basis for all consciousness conflicts with reality then simply be those instances where compensatory mechanisms (i.e. a false self) have activated in response to dissonances with positive emotions (where positive can be defined as self-efficacious emotions)?
If we go down the list of emotions:
- Trust
- Confidence
- Happiness
- Certainty
- Peace
- Love
- Excitement
- Inspiration
And insert "consciousness conflicts" aka situations that put consciousness at odds with those emotions in some way, even if only situationally, then either through harsh specific events to repeated generalised conditioning in the direction that puts consciousness at odds with those emotions, then we can explain various kinds of "fragmentations" of the psyche as being reflective of the trauma itself and or leading to the trauma.
For me, its because of this either repeated exposure to a negative stimulus or a harsh specific circumstance context specific to the compromising of a range of different positive emotions that talk therapies are unlikely going to produce the healing needed in people. This is especially so when we subtract the positive emotion that the person is needing, for example in many instances, in the case of trauma resulting from betrayal the trust that is forged between client and counsellor can be the very thing that is the catalyst towards healing more than specific things that are discussed in the therapy. The very fact that certain therapies have greater results than others is where I question myself. What I would like to see more of is if anything for this to be combined with the creation of specific "neuroplastic" (for lack of a better buzz word) exercises that clients do for emotions and thoughts to heal those areas of the psyche at the core level given trauma responses are biological adaptations that have been "entrained" to the point of CPTSD and thus its a process of retraining automatic responses to adapt back into homeostasis.
Thank you Sam.
Very important knowledge
Thank you kindly
Hi Dr Vaknin, thank you for the video, is dissociation usually triggered by a negative interaction or is it more common for these episodes of dissociation to be random?
Dissociation is a normal, daily process. But massive dissociation is a reaction to traumatic events.
Thank you Professor Vaknin,love from another Jew living in Sydney Australia
Thanks
I appreciate 🙏
Would betrayal trauma happen if your mother took you to an unfamiliar park in a different city and left you there alone for hours before you were found by your father?
It is a trauma. But reactions to trauma are individual.
I agree that personality disorders are post traumatic conditions.
But what I don't understand, is how people say they have BPD and no trauma. It makes no sense. All I can think is that they are unaware of their trauma. It kind of makes me angry, because it feels invalidating to me or the rest of us who have BPD or traits from childhood trauma.
I know some sources out there can be misleading or untrue.
I do understand that BPD is very complex. Are there truly cases of people that have BPD and no trauma?
I do believe it is genetic and environment.
Search my channel.
Hello, thank you for all of your work. What if we aren't our experiences? We are just here to experience them..
I had conversation disorder diagnosed at 8 years old along with over anxious anxiety. Around 3 3 1/2. I had stopped talking when I was advanced in verbal communication. After my mother passed in 2018 I began having difficulty with seizure type movement if under certain triggers or stressors. Difficulty walking. I dont know if it could be associated.
I'm smarter than this. You know how many scammers have tryed to get a response out of me. I'm the one that publishers clearing house could come to my door and I would slam it in there face. Nothing is free and nobody but God can promise healing and guidance.
Very good like usual you are amazing Professor.
There are mental formations unconsciously buried into subconscious unaware of them and react again and again even when experience changes in the present moment unaware thinking are permanent when are completely distorted by our relation with the experience.
Sometimes are surfacing when triggers from outside stimulation and automatically we react based on the past experience.
Fear reaction flit , fight or frozen,like dislike ignore, desire indifferent and aversion, mind natural process of perception.
Yes very good Professor again and again reacting repeatedly out from our stored personal perception of the past experience unconsciously in the present situation just because are triggered through our senses and are projected into mind stored flashbacks images which might appear similar with stored to the past mental perceive formation.
Rabin or Netanyahu?
How can we access the trauma?
Do you have answer to healing.
What if its Neglect and betrayal
Sometimes discussing things openly results in people "reverse engineering" the solutions and making things worse. I've experienced this and seen this. Be careful who you seek advice from.
Sam have you read Jess Hill’s (Australia) take on Stockholm Syndrome
I tend to agree with her.
"Osdd 1 is like bpd and cptsd on steroids" well that's it folks I think I need to seek help because it sounds too much like me 😂
You can see from the comments, people dont get it at all. Just full of ego, revenge, pity… Of course, almost every woman alive is victim of betrayal and NPD, because they love to play victim so much…
I caught my husband after 9